Chapter 9 –It's no joke—laughter is serious
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The Headmasters office was the same as I remembered it, not that I had been sent back that far in time. This made me wonder if some of the others in this room had changed. Could I just assume that I was the only thing that had changed. Madam Bones, Fudge and Umbridge were there with Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore making up the prosecution. I wondered if I could call a lawyer?
"Have a seat Harry, Lemon drop?" I just shook my head and sat in the spot light.
"Harry we have a number of things to discuss with you before we act." Dumbledore started.
Fudge filled in for Snape. "Come on Dumbledore he is an attention seeking brat…"
"I suggest you put a lid on it Minister as you are not going to like the results…" I comely said as I watch as much of the room as possible.
"Just sent him off to Azkaban and have don't with it…" Umbridge screeched.
"Now we need to approach this in a calm manner and since this is my school I will be asking the initial questions." Dumbledore pontificates and I snickered.
"You think this is funny Harry? Dumbledore looked over his glasses in an intimidate stare.
"I think it is hilarious, please continue."
"Very well, Mr. Malfoy was stuck to the ceiling on the train and claims it was you."
"Malfoy stuck-up on the ceiling is a new one. He is normally stuck-up as a rule but how can he say that I did anything to him?"
"He is from a sterling family and is an upstanding student…" I interrupted Umbridge. "He is from a family of Deatheaters, his father is in Azkaban if Fudge hasn't lost control of him again and Draco is a marked Deatheater."
"How dare you, I want you to know that Azkaban is secure and…" Fudges bluster was cutoff.
"Cornelius we are getting off subject, Harry did you stick Draco to the ceiling of the train?"
"Sorry Headmaster you are going to have to prove it since I have not been given a lawyer for this impromptu trial."
"Just bring in Crab and Goyle they saw everything!" Umbridge shouted.
"Yes bring them in and have them swear a magical oath that they saw me do that. Oh, and while they are here you night have them roll up their sleeves to show their Dark Marks." I grinned at Dumbledore.
"Harry what has gotten into you? I have never seen this dark side of you…" I cut off the Headmaster.
"There is no good or evil, only power, and those willing to use it, so get use to it Headmaster as I plan on using power a lot in the near future."
"Could we get back on subject? I have paperwork piling up in my office." Madam Bones was not looking happy.
"Yes Amelia you are quite correct, why did you attack a teacher Harry?" Dumbledore twinkled.
"I believe you have that backwards Headmaster. I was defending myself from your goon who attacked me in my common room." Those words sent me back to just after the start of this year.
Flashback:
Umbridge had just called me to me and ushered me into an empty classroom. She took a seat behind the desk and started in her little girl voice . "Take a seat Mr. Potter and tell me where you were this weekend".
"You will have to be a bit more specific if you wish an answer as I have been from the Quittage pitch to the Great Hall."
"Don't lie to me you miserable brat I know you left Hogwarts and that is in violation for the rules. For lying you have detention tonight." Her little girl voice had gone to a sickening screech.
This was of course at the same time as the Turkey Club was having a secret meeting. I wanted to listen in on it unobserved at Grimmauld Place. "Sorry but I have a previous engagement." She drew her wand ... I waved to the 'Obliviated' toad sitting on the desk as I left the classroom.
End Flashback:
"Harry, no one is going to believe that a teacher attacked you a student. He was just bringing you here when you failed to obey my directions." Dumbledore continued as I grinned at my memory of the toad on the desk.
"I believe you have again misstated the facts Headmaster. If the students present were questioned I do believe that they would say that he said nothing and laid his hands on me in an attacking manner. They will also tell you that all I did was to erect a shield."
"Harry you don't understand that by your actions a Professor of this school is laying in St. Mungo in extreme pain."
"The students will be happy to hear that Headmaster, might I suggest an announcement to that fact at dinner?"
"I am sorry to say Harry that until you repent your actions that I must expel you from Hogwarts. Minister Fudge is here to collect your want until you fully repent."
"While you may expel me Fudge cannot collect my wand only the Wizengamot may remove my wand. Further, since I am expelled from Hogwarts you may fight Voldemort by yourself and tell the Order of the Phoenix to get out of my house."
"I'm truly sorry Harry but that law only applies to adults and you are still a minor as far as the law is concerned and I am still your guardian."
"I wouldn't bet your beard on that old man, have you tried to take any more of my money out of my vaults recently?"
That set the whole lot of them off in different ways. They calmed down about the time Madam Bones pulled her head out of the 'floe', Dumbledore continued, "Your joke is not funny Harry so I must ask you to stop making light of a serious situation."
"Nope I'm serious…" Madam Bones interrupted, "And he happens to be an adult as I have just confirmed with the records section in the Ministry."
"Toodle pip all." I headed out of the office, heading up the stairs to Gryffindor to pack and leave, thank you very much.
/Scene Break/
As I headed out of the dorm and into the common room I saw Madam Bones talking with a few of the Gryffindor students.
"Lord Potter Black might I ask where you are heading?"
"Well since I have been expelled I thought I would head over to the Three Broomsticks for lunch, care to join me?" I hoped that Susan had been quick in my request to speak with her. "And just call me Harry."
"That's a splendid idea and the walk there will undo some of the desk-itest that I have developed."
As we cleared the front gates, "Susan said that you wanted to speak with me privately?"
"Yes please, but in a meeting room at the inn is where I would prefer to talk. Out in the open here there is too many ways to be overheard."
"To be honest there is not much help that I can give you; this meeting is more of a favor to Susan."
"Yes, please thank her for arranging this. I really wanted to inform you of a few facts and speculations. I don't expect anything from you or your office. Actually you are going to probably call me a nutter and laugh in my face."
"You have gotten my curiosity aroused as there are not many emancipated kids your age and I just saw you telling a couple of powerful people to take a long walk on a short pier."
"Well as a warm up let's start with the Great Albus Dumbledore illegally taking me and placing me with muggle relatives, who I strongly suspect Dumbledore of knowing they were child abusers. Even after I informed him he sends me back each year. That is mainly how I got emancipated. Last year after the tri-wizard tournament he finally told me that there is a prophesy. If I had known its contents I would have stopped my real guardian from being killed. That is why I know he will come begging me to return to Hogwarts in some variation of this being all my fault. This summer he had guards on my relatives place not to protect as much as make sure I didn't escape from their prison."
It was a long walk but soon we obtained a private room and our tea. At that time I started putting up wards to insure no one listened or interrupted without us knowing first. I also took down a couple of listening charms that were in the room.
"Now you have done it! How did you learn wandless magic at your age?"
"Before I get to the weird parts I wanted you to know that Voldemort will free his people from Azkaban in the very near future. Fudge will cover up the whole thing mostly because of bribes. Also you will start getting those escapee's back by an unknown source as they will start appearing in the Ministry. I will remain that unknown source. Just for giggles and if things I saw is still correct, Draco Malfoy is presently a marked Deatheater and I think Dumbledore knows that to be a fact."
While I was concentrating on not sounding like a total nutter and still convince Madam Bones I was doing something that I didn't even realize the majority of the time. I had familiars and they demanded attention. Tiger was purring on my lap as I petted her. Lea had joined in for a little rub here and there in plain view of Madam Bones.
"Well maybe I shouldn't ask but why are your confiding in me and you know all this, how?"
I snorted trying to suppress a full-blown laugh. "I have come to trust you as you have me. You see I have returned to the past by about a year, give or take only Merlin knows how much time in between."
That was when her lunatic light bulb lit up as I had expected, that's when I tossed the Aurors shield on the table. That got her attention and she snatched it up and started demanding answers. "Where did you get this? You can be imprisoned for being in possession illegally of an Aurors badge. You do know that time turners are also illegal…" in answers to her questions I just pointed at the shield. The Auror shield had the name of its owner in fine print on the bottom and it of course read "Harry James Potter". Silence hit the room with the only sound being Tiger purring.
"You found me out as the collector of Deatheaters and gave me that badge so if I made a mistake and killed one of the Burks I would have some protection."
Madam Bones started with the who, what, and where sentences without finishing them and finally went quiet again.
"I really don't have many answers I just got picked up and sent here. If you ask for more specific answers you may not like them as I am still trying to believe what happened. OH! Hell, I almost forgot. Bones manor will be attacked sometime between now and summer. I wish I could remember the date but we were busy about then. Voldemort will pull down your wards but Susan will still be at Hogwarts." I held up my hands to forestall any more questions. "I cannot guarantee much of anything but that was some of what happened before."
I was given the badge back with provisos that no one knew of the badge or what would probably happen. I retired to my cottage.
/Scene Break/
"Hi girl, you're up bright and early. Ah, a letter from Gringotts."
Lea hissed that it was time to eat and hungry familiars could be a nasty lot. After breakfast and my shower I finally got to my letter. Lockjaw wanted a meeting as soon as I could get there. "Hedwick if you feel up to a little spying would you check out Nott's place and see if they are doing their Deatheather meetings there?" Hedwick gave a nod and flew off. I gathered the rest of the crew and flamed to Gringotts.
"Lockjaw how's the gold business, making a fistful a minute I hope?"
"Actually with your accounts we both are, you do know I work on commission?"
I laughed out loud as I didn't really know. "Fantastic keep the gold flowing my friend. Now what was so urgent?"
"I have a couple of documents for you to sign and I needed to let you know that the Ministry and Dumbledore have been crawling all over Gringotts."
"What were they specifically looking for about me?"
"Yes about you and very unhappy that you were emancipated and that they couldn't gain access to you vaults."
"You think that they will try something else?"
"Harry they already have and that is some of what you just signed, some preventive measures. We transferred a large amount of money to your Muggle Bank just in case. Dumbledore just filed a marriage contract for you and a Geneva Weasley. It looks all legal and above-board but we know it been backdated before you were emancipated. He tried to use that and a power of attorney to get into your vaults."
"You of course fed him to the dragons down stairs right?"
"Not yet, but he will not get access that way. Unless you get married and die. She will not get into your vaults, unless you authorize it here at Gringotts. At that time we will insure that you are not under any curses or drugs."
"I think he is working on that, anything else to make my day?"
"Not really you have just signed all you need to give them more than enough surprises. I am not about to give up all the gold we are making to the leader of the light."
"Thanks Lockjaw take another thousand for a bonus and a job well done."
I spent the day wandering around Diagon alley and then checked out Knockturn alley. I was almost lost with nothing to do, I did say almost. It was a nice day checking out all the shops. I had no Molly Weasley telling me what I didn't need. No Snape snapping at my heels and insulting me and my dead family and a break from Hermione was enjoyable. The twins had my order of brown eggs ready and there being no Malfoy around was the best of the lot. Draco had not to be seen or heard from for awhile. Late afternoon we returned to the cottage and I turned Lea loose to terrorize the rodent population. Tiger was usually happy just sitting in my lap or hiding in my robe pocket. I think her base form is a fairy but that was still to be determined. I did need to see about getting some electricity installed in the cottage along with a TV and possibly a computer. After dinner we all sat on the porch and watch the sun set. I was going to need to come up with a plan for my future but this sunset was relaxing and peaceful. Being lazy is a nice thing once in a while.
/Scene Break/
Three days later Lockjaw had the electric in and running, I wasn't the only squib in the area. What was funny was after purchasing all this high-tech equipment it ended up being delivered by the magical delivery service in Hogsmeade by use of a horse-drawn wagon. Two days later I had had enough of wires and manuals. I gathered up my familiars and we headed to The Three Broomsticks for lunch only to find Hagrid downing a bucket of ale and wanting to talk.
"You've been gone and the rumors are running really crazy. There is one that says Dumbledore expelled you for setting Snape on fire…" I interrupted Hagrid, "Well that rumor is true although the fireplace set Snape on fire I just kind of pushed him into it."
"The girls have been upset that you are not there and are not happy with Dumbledore."
"I'm sure Luna and Hermione will adapt…"
"No, all the girls. They all want to get their hands on you."
"Hagrid don't joke about things like that, I am having thoughts of being pulled apart limb from limb by a mob of girls."
We didn't get more discussed as Hedwig flew in and started hopping around on the table. "Are they there again girl?" I got a large bob so I said my goodbyes to Hagrid and headed out to the Nott Manor. They were massing again so it was time to try the wards.
I flamed in as a Phoenix to one of the top floors. They had the wards set to ignore small animals and Phoenixes usually didn't set off wards. Lea and Tiger took to their larger forms as soon as I landed and we started a floor by floor search. As before there were no elves and the bad guys and girls were meeting in the dinning room. A couple of brown eggs and we had ten big bad Deatheaters sleeping peacefully. After stunning them all and a strong 'Incarcerous' spell I deposited them in the Ministry. This time however I left Lucius in Madam Bone's office. She was a bit surprised when I flamed in and dropped Malfoy and flamed back out. That got me a Ministry owl and a meeting with Madam Bones.