Hello everyone :D:D:D
Who missed me? NO? Too bad! Because I'm back with a bid fat chapter that ~ hopefully~ can make up for the long time I was gone.
Once more, I wanna thank everyone who took time reading my story, thank a little more those who alerted\favourite\reviewed. your support for this story never fails in amazing me :)
Enjoy and Happy Easter ;)
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is like the undead Allison (Pretty Little Liars). I'm just like A. I know everything, and using it to manipulate Leah, Demitri and all the characters like the real A is blackmailing Spencer, Aria, Emily and Spencer. (Great show btw!)
"It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace."
― Chuck Palahniuk, Diary
Right before Alice left, I knew I HAD to ask her about it.
"Hey Alice, Jacob mentioned something happening today concerning me. What is it?"
I knew that even if it was left unspoken, some bond has been formed between Pixie and me. Sad it had to be under these circumstances.
"Emily will call you to meet up. She wants you to be her bridesmaid."
In a blink of an eye, Alice was gone. No need to see my future to know what it feels like to see people moving forward, enjoying their lives on your expense, especially when death becomes your constant obsession. So should I be bouncing in the air in utter joy just like in those crappy chick flicks? Fuck NO.
The idea of running away seemed like a very tempting idea right now. But what about the Volturi tracker? Wait a minute; I was under Bella's shield when they came, so I shouldn't be on his radar yet, right?
Complication: Am I willing to leave the people I care about to deal with MY problems? Especially when the Volturis are concerned? Plus, on Demetri's radar or not, they will track me down. And I don't think I would get on the Cat's good graces if it took them years to find me. Plus hurting the enemy's loved ones is their style. Thus running away is out of question.
I. Am. Doomed.
No other expression can describe the situation I'm in as perfectly. my fate has been decided for me. When would the universe get it in this stubborn head of his that I'm old enough that I'm grown-up enough to decide my own fate?
Karma probably assumes playing with the others' lives is just a sadistic game that was only created to feed her ego. A game I knew I will lose the moment the rules were settled. How does it feel to see me suffer, bitch?
I. Am. Doomed.
I'm not the most righteous person alive. I'm fully conscious of it. But again, what did I do to deserve this? How many major sins did I commit to be tangled in this mess? Is killing a bunch of untamable newborns even considered a sin? They would have ravaged entire cities if they were not taken care of. When does a wrong act committed for all the right reasons suddenly become justifiably wrong? (A/N: this last sentence is borrowed to DriftingDreamer18 from her beautiful story "Lavender and Lilac')
Life can be compared to a spectrum in this way. At the far ends of it remains the Good and the Evil, the Right and Wrong, the White and Black. From far away, the line between those two shades is clear as water. As you zoom in, this line looses its high-quality as its definition becomes blurry and confusing until it becomes this huge grey territory that every faithful person is unsure and uncomfortable traversing.
I. Am. Doomed.
As in I will die. I'm realistic enough to have hammered the thought in my brain since Alice alerted me this morning. What's the point in holding on to this glimmer of hope when you're trapped in the claws of merciless bloodsuckers? Joining them is not a choice. I hate my brothers sometimes for being such pricks but not enough to betray them that way. At least I will still keep my pride and my loyalty intact even after my death. Love and Respect is how you stay alive, even after you were gone since Death always has the tendency to make all dead people saints. Maybe the infection will take hold of me too?
How would my mother handle the news? Will she turn into this lifeless recently-widowed woman who lost her daughter? Will she hold her head high proud of her martyred daughter? Or will she accuse me of being selfish choosing death over a humiliating pathetic life? Will I be selfish enough leaving my mother and Seth in the dark and letting Jacob incise their barely healed scars open once more?
I will die. Then what? What will happen to me? Life is eternal for us, will death be eternal too? Does Afterlife exist for supernatural creatures that has no place existing in the first place? Will I look up when my time comes and be blinded by a light shimmer from above absorbing my soul from this earth? Will I get to have a chaperone guiding me to a much better utopic (utopist?) place called heaven? Will I live an episode of "5 People You Meet In Heaven"? Who would I see if I was in Eddie's shoes? My dad? One of the newborns maybe? The Volturi's leader's dead soul?
Will I actually be able to meet my dad? Finally be able to apologize face to face, and not to an empty chair in some shrink's office? Or did Harry already hear my rehearsed speech from wherever he is?
Just like Dying would be absurdly the right thing to do in Martin Luther King's anti-segregation dictionary, 'I don't know' seemed to be the perfect answer to all of these questions.
Just as I was leaving the house, the phone rang.. I stopped in my track for a second before slamming the door shut behind me leaving it screeching on its own. Emily does not always get what she wants. Well, at least not today.
This seemed like a great idea an hour ago but now, I am starting to have my doubts. I gave the building a hard glare as I sat in the park facing the building. The glass envelope gave the building a nice professional aesthetic look. But behind its pretty look, the building represents just massive piles of offices and clinics. I kept looking unconsciously at one office in particular as I thought.
The shrink has always had this theory about the law of attraction. According to her, I am attracting all these negative feelings and thoughts into my life. If I can get rid of the negative energy, I would live lighter and happier. "People are just happy as they make up their minds to be" she said last time I sat in her office. "Don't go around thinking you're the only one who has been this hurt before. Life is unfair, but it does not mean you go around thinking you're cursed. You need to stop blaming others for hurting you and take a look at this strong independent woman you became because of them"
But this time is different. Even though Ms Sullivan is one of the most sympathetic person I know, it took me a while to get comfortable with her. But teaching me Confucianism is one thing and telling her about the supernatural world is another. A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum is the last thing I need right now.
I tried to guess how she would act if I told her everything and she believed me, not only about the vampire/werewolves part but also the there-is-no-escape part.
"The funny thing about facing imminent death is that it really snaps everything else into perspective." She would say quoting James Patterson. She would rant about that quote for a while in a feeble attempt at convincing me how an awareness of death encourages us to live more intensely. Then she would advice me to read "Veronika Decides to Die" to see for myself how death is the catalyst in the process of self-finding and the blossoming of wisdom. She would then advice me to go out and look at the world around me. Try to find clues of what I should be doing in my days left. I frowned at this thought. Maybe I know what I should be doing more than her since I'm the one who is on the edge of a cliff waiting for Death to push me, head first, in the deadly valley. I flinched at the mental image.
"Excuse me?" someone asked unsurely, getting me out of my reverie.
I lifted my head to look at a very charming man in his mid-twenties smiling down at me. He had the most hypnotizing blue eyes I have ever seen. He was holding a thick book that I failed in reading its title.
"Yes?" I replied pleasantly.
The man glanced around disconcerted, looking as if he was doing some illegal activities. I raised my eyebrows curiously.
"I just saw you flinching and I wanted to see if you are alright." He lied smoothly.
"I'm fine, thank you" I answered softly. I glanced at the building and was mildly surprised when the man sat down next to me under the tree.
"I'm Theodore. And before you say anything, I know it's bizarre but I hate being nicknamed Ted" I eyed him amusedly. Congratulations Emmett Cullen, I just found someone with a more ridiculous name than yours.
"Leah" I answered
We sat in comfortable silence for a while. "Are you waiting for someone?" he demanded easily.
"Yes. My husband" I lied since the real reason sounded creepy enough.
"Oh" he replied. I saw a strange emotion in his eyes, but he quenched it before I could fully comprehend it.
"Yeah, he's a cardiologist." Heart-fixer. I laughed bitterly at my lie. "I just hate his job, you know. No mistakes allowed, having to constantly deal with death, with the guilt of being hopeless when someone dies." I vaguely continued actually living my lie.
"Have Faith. No one knows what might happen, yet we go forward. It is a strange world we live in. Full of contradiction and paradoxes."
I had this urge to correct him. There aresome people who might know what would happen, and that was what set off my inner clock.
I looked at him before seeing a version of Anna Karenina in his lap. I smirked at him, reading a book which contradicts everything he believes about this world.
"I'm a Literature student. I'm mid-way through it and I already hate it." He looked pleadingly at me. I laughed, surprising myself, before he joined in.
It felt nice, almost normal for a while, sitting under a tree in a public park, having a decent conversation with a stranger for hours. I remember the feeling of alienation I had to endure in this world since I phased. I was so lost and scared I would hurt someone like Sam did Emily that I isolated myself from everything that once upon a time was normal. Reality always come crashing hard when you least want it to.
"I lied" I urgently announced looking Theodore in the eye "I'm not married; I'm just nursing a heartbreak. I'm sorry"
Theodore looked at me in an understanding expression before genuinely smiling at me. "Would you like to grab a coffee sometime?"
I hesitated. I really don't want to lead him on. Hurting him would be a crime. "Look Theodore…"
"As friends?" he clarified.
"Oh ok. That suits me. But you should know something…"
"Oh no, another lie?" he sighed dramatically.
I actually smiled at that. "No I'm leaving in five days. I don't think I'll ever come back. Ever." I made sure it sank in. I'll be damned if Theodore becomes a member of the Volturi's Black List.
Theodore looked skeptical before slowly answering "alright, wanna grab that coffee right now?"
It was almost dark when Theodore and I drew apart. We had this mutual agreement that it would be better for everyone –him- if this was the first and the last time we see each other. No phone numbers were exchanged; no last names given away, not even personal information that might lead to the other were mentioned.
But I felt the urge to do one more thing. I knew it was on Theodore's expense but I desperately wanted to test my theory.
"Hey, can I try something?" I asked him easily.
He eyed me cautiously before agreeing. "Yes?"
I stepped closer to him and looked him in the eyes. He knew my intentions and didn't wait for me to act upon them. He placed his hands on my waist and pulled me even closer. The warm aura caused by the fiery temperature of my skin made the situation more intimate. He looked at me questioningly one more time. I barely nodded before he set his lips on mine. The kiss was chaste, innocent but held so much power over the both of us. I knew I would never see Theodore again, but I needed this kiss. He pulled away a few seconds later. We looked at each other in silence. Some would say we're acting as if we're friends with benefits but they would never understand the connection we felt. Each one of us had something to prove to himself. I broke out in a huge grin that he mirrored.
The test was positive. I was finally over Sam.
Since it was my patrolling time, I decided it would be safe to phase without Jacob or my brother keeping track of my thoughts. The minute I was on four paws, I started running, I was still thrilled with my new discovery and for a while I successfully forgot about the Volturi. I pushed my legs to run faster.
Surprisingly, I found myself on the Cullens territory. I slowed down and carefully walked to the huge mansion. I could hear a loud distinguishable angry voice ~ Jake's~ and other lower voices reasoning with my alpha. Only one heartbeat in the house. I made a sound of relief but before I could disappear unnoticed, Jake burst the door's open calling out "Leah?"
It's over. He knows.
Demetri's POV
Seattle. Earsplitting loud and infuriatingly alive, Seattle can be easily be classified as one of the most annoying cities on the planet. And that coming from me, a deadly vampire, for crying out loud.
Other reason to hate Seattle, it is always the pit stop between home and failure. Humans are so stupid. The C.I.A might be claimed to be the genius cynical mind of the U.S. government but their obliviousness to what lives in the small town of Forks never fails in boring me. Felix and I weren't the slightest bit surprised by how overrated the US forces and the Central Intelligence Agency are when we went on a examination trip to the Pentagon and the CIA's headquarter in Virginia. At least with the Volturi, each one of the guard is appreciated by Masters.
It was already dark. We separated in groups for practical reasons and not to rise any suspicions.. Alec and Jane went east. Felix and Santiago were heading out of the city.
"What are you waiting for, Demetri?" Chelsea exclaimed in her high pretentious tone. She hates to be kept waiting.
I looked again at the couple making out in the dark alley. No other human being is nearby, within two hundred meters radius. Thus, any scream would go unheard. Curiously I searched for the main target of the mission. Dissatisfied with my results, I sunk my teeth in the boy's jugular first. I didn't give him even time to scream. I lunched myself at the girl. I half drained her when I saw her. So she's at the Cullens along with the russet wolf. They're in their human forms though.
Interesting.
I smiled venomously before digging deeper in the girl's flesh. Leah Clearwater, you might want to be careful. Playing with fire might lead you to your grave early, sweetheart.
well...
i really hope you enjoyed this chapter since i had some difficulty deciding who Leah should talk to. at first i wanted it to be Carlisle (lol) then the therapist (does the fact that Leah has a therapist makes her slightly OOC?) then i finally settled on Theodore. Personally, i'm satisfied with the result. what about you?
Oh! one more thing :) i am perfectly positive that some of you were like "Where the heck is Demetri?" while reading previous chapters, so i hope his introduction in this story was alright. seeing him all mean and evil. hahaha :)
Anyway, reviews and constructive criticism are much appreciated :)
à Bientôt!
~G