A/N: Before I forget, since I forgot last chapter, I'm going to thank all the guest reviewers - Berlin (who commented on multiple stories!), Mon, rinharuwillbethe, and 3 Guests for chapter 11, and also: a fan and DiAnna44 from chapter 10 (so sorry I forgot!). I really appreciate your comments!

It seems like it's been forever since I've updated, and I'm trying (key word: trying) to do monthly updates, but I actually posted the first part of a collection of side stories to Long Distance from Rin's POV last month! Only I posted it on AO3 and not here... It has really been a stressful and hectic two months for me and I completely forgot, but I'll get that up here soon. That said, I'll do my best to get an update done in April; thanks so much for your patience. Hope you enjoy the chapter, it ended up being suuuuper dialogue heavy. Oh, and I completely credit junjouprince on tumblr for my belief that Rin used to steal Gou's shoujo mangas when they were kids.

Chapter Twelve: Drive (Summer - part 2)

Haruka tries not to look over at the bleachers when he faces their way the next day during lessons. He figures if he doesn't see when Rin arrives, he can pretend Rin isn't there. Of course, there's the ten minute gap between lessons to deal with, but when he looks Rin isn't there yet, and he'd be lying if he said it wasn't a relief. Yesterday Rin had told him that he looked like a good teacher, which fills him with an indescribable feeling of embarrassment.

Once his second lesson ends and all his students and their parents have said goodbye, though, there's nothing else to delay the inevitable, so he faces the bleachers with a determined air of calm.

Rin still isn't there.

Haruka does a quick scan of the room, but Rin isn't anywhere, and now he doesn't know what to do. Is he disappointed? Relieved? Rin texted him this morning to say he'd be there by the time Haruka got off work, and Haruka just spent an entire hour and a half trying not to be nervous about it.

"Nanase, you heading home?"

Zaki passes by him to return a few leftover kickboards to the racks, but she looks over her shoulder at him in question.

"No," Haruka says, glancing distractedly back at the bleachers as though he'd somehow missed Rin amidst all the mothers filling the levels, but Rin's hair alone sets him apart in most crowds and is conspicuously absent there. "I'm waiting for someone."

"Again?" Zaki scrutinizes him, leaning an elbow against the kickboard stand. "Nanase, were you that really popular kid in school that everyone was surprised to find out was really popular?"

"What?" Haruka is a bit taken aback. "No. He's just one of my friends from yesterday."

"Mm-hm…" Zaki says. Haruka realizes she must think that everyone from yesterday was his friend, and he might have managed a weak snort if he wasn't so preoccupied with the worry that Rin has decided to show him up.

"I need to check my phone," he says, and he leaves her there. In the locker room he slings a towel over his head, and another over his shoulders, and makes his way to the employee lockers in the corner. When he fishes his phone out of his bag, there's a message from Rin waiting.

sorry, we're gonna be a little late. gou's taking forever to pack.

The relief is unmistakable, though part of it has to do with the fact that Gou is coming along too. If he'd known that earlier he likely would have been a lot less nervous. He tells Rin that he'll be waiting on the bleachers, and makes it back to the pool room just in time to see Zaki round up her next group of swimmers.

He has nothing to do except watch the third round of lessons begin, so he scoots all the way to the edge of the bottom row of the bleachers and hopes he doesn't look too awkward. He catches snippets of the conversations the mothers are having around him – a lot about school, and homework projects they've helped with, or the newest gossip they've read in the celebrity magazines. He drums his heels against the cement, looks from the locker room entrance to the visitor entrance across the pool, a knot forming in his stomach.

It's Gou that appears first – she spots Haruka and waves from the visitor entrance, and quickly makes her way over.

"Hi, Haruka-senpai!" She slings her backpack heavily onto the bleachers, which give a resounding metal clang, and sits beside him. "Sorry we're late! I couldn't find one of my textbooks."

"You're catching the train?" Haruka asks, eyeing her backpack, which looks like it could rival Shimamura's right about now.

"Mm-hm, after lunch. Nii-san said you needed someone to officiate your race, speaking of which, will it start soon, because I woke up early to start packing and lunch sounds really good right now."

She lets out a little huff when Haruka tells her there are still twenty minutes of lessons left. "Well, make sure you two race quickly," she says.

"That's the idea," Haruka says. He notices she's wearing the earrings they bought her a couple weeks ago; they catch the light and glimmer in a cheerful way. He already feels more at ease, and wants to thank her for coming along.

Still, when Rin comes out of the locker room a few minutes later, Haruka's stomach lurches slightly – a kind of internal Oh no.

But halfway over, Rin meets his eyes, smiles. Mutters, sitting down on Gou's other side, "Ready to lose?" and Haruka can breathe a little easier.

He gives Rin a severe look but doesn't actually say anything, because he is pretty ready to lose. It's kind of a depressing feeling, or it should be, but since he's accepted it he's more looking forward to the feeling of Rin speeding along at his side once again. A real race with no one else, just them – how long has it been?

"How were lessons today, Haruka-senpai?" Gou asks. "It's so cute seeing you teach all those kids!"

Haruka turns his frown on her. "It's not cute."

"Haruka-senpai, you don't know cute. It's very cute. Right, Nii-san?"

"What?" Rin splutters, looking shocked. Then he says unconvincingly, "Are you kidding me? There's nothing cute about it."

"Just because you're a boy," Gou says, oblivious to the desperate look Rin gives her, "doesn't mean you can't say things are cute."

"Yeah, thanks Mom," Rin says, face going splotchy, "but Haru teaching swimming lessons isn't something I'd call cute." He keeps his gaze trained very determinedly off of Haruka when he says it, and Haruka's stomach swoops with nerves but also amusement.

"Oh," he says suddenly to Rin, the thought coming out of nowhere, "thanks for yesterday."

Rin goes beet red and looks at him accusingly. Between them, Gou giggles.

"I told you he'd figure it out," she says to her brother. Then she leans toward Haruka and mutters, "He thought if he told you he'd planned a race for you it'd be too embarrassing. Honestly, Nii-san, there's no need to be so embarrassed about doing something nice."

Rin looks like he wants to melt into the bleachers. Haruka doesn't quite understand where the swell of happiness he feels comes from, just that it makes him feel a little freer, his words coming more easily.

"Really," he says, hoping he sounds sincere. "Thank you. I had fun."

"Yeah, yeah," Rin says, waving a hand. "Whatever. You're welcome." He props his elbows on his knees, and his chin moodily on his fists, and even as the flush fades from his face it burns brightly in the tips of his ears.

Gou starts asking Haruka questions about his lessons, so for the rest of the class period he talks to her while Rin pretends to be off in his own world. Haruka can tell he's listening though – he can see the slight tilt of Rin's head toward them, the smiles that twitch onto his lips every now and then.

When the whistle for the end of lessons sounds, Haruka watches the smile transform into a full-blown grin. Rin slaps his hands against his thighs and shoots to his feet, and then remembers where he is and apologizes awkwardly to the mothers behind him, getting out of the way so they can climb off the bleachers and retrieve their children.

"Hi Zaki-san!" Gou calls, once the room has begun to clear.

Zaki waves from the equipment rack, comes over. "You guys swimming again?" she says, looking from Haruka to Rin.

"They always have to swim one-on-one," Gou says with a little sigh. "It's tradition."

"I see," Zaki says, sounding interested. Something about the way that her eyebrows go up implies that she already knows who she expects to win. Haruka's a little disappointed by her lack of faith in him, though he can't blame her. She looks at Rin. "You swim free then, too? I mean, you really focus on it and yesterday wasn't just for fun."

"He got scouted to a team in America," Gou says, sounding kind of like a gloating mom.

"Get out," Zaki says, looking at Rin in newfound wonder. "Seriously? That's so cool! So the season's over, then?"

Rin rubs his neck, his grin embarrassed. "Yeah. I'm gonna get some training in here. Kaji-san's still letting me in for free."

"Hey, if I see you around the pool ever, can you give me some tips?" Zaki says quickly. "On my form and stuff? For the fly?"

Rin looks surprised. "Yeah, sure, if you want…"

"He was team captain in high school," Gou cuts in. "He'd love to."

"Great, I'm holding you to that." Zaki says. She lifts a hand. "Okay, gotta go. See you later, Nanase. Nice seeing you Gou, Matsuoka."

She waves to Satou, who's climbing down from the lifeguard podium, before disappearing into the locker room. The poolhands start rolling out the lane markers; the drag of the plastic rungs over the lip of the pool and the quiet swish of them being pulled through the water fill the room while Haruka and Rin stretch at the poolside. And then the markers are all laid out, and Satou and another lifeguard exchange shifts, and the ripples in the pool fade into nonexistence.

"So," Rin says, with a sidelong grin at Haruka. "You said you'd need a head start. Still wanna claim it?"

Haruka doesn't. He doesn't want to admit that pure talent can only get him so far, which is especially true when he's allowed that talent to rust, especially true when Rin's training shows all over his body – like he's trying to make his muscles grow muscles.

But he has to admit it, so he says, shelving his pride as best as he can, "How many seconds will you give me?"

"Hm…" Rin says, clearly enjoying himself. "Maybe…two seconds? Or three, if you pay for lunch?"

Gou slaps his arm.

"Ow! Ok, fine, whatever you want, no cost."

Haruka shrugs. Rin's offer is generous – not because it would give him a huge head start, but because Rin seems to think he's still good enough to need such a small lead. Or maybe Rin's just being nice.

"I don't know," Haruka says. It's one thing to admit to needing a head start, but another thing completely to have to ask for the time specifically. "You pick."

"How about you start swimming," Gou says, starting to sound impatient, "and I tell Nii-san when he can go."

"Are you kidding me?" Rin looks scandalized. "You'd never tell me to go."

"Well, you'll never go this way either."

Haruka looks down his lane, the markers swaying slightly. The gutters sputter halfheartedly. "Actually, I don't need a head start," he says, starting to feel stupid thinking about one. What will he do, just dive in and swim against nobody for a few seconds while Rin and Gou watch? That would probably be more embarrassing than knowing Rin was there watching him teach lessons.

"You sure?" Rin says.

He isn't sure, and looks over at Rin to communicate so. Rin lets out a loud laugh.

"Haru, just take a few seconds! Or pick a distance, and I'll start when you get there. But not too far," he adds hastily. "Just like, a little head start."

"Or I can decide for you two," Gou says.

"That's fine," Haruka tells her.

So Haruka does the pride-shelving thing again, which honestly doesn't feel like it works because diving into an empty pool with Rin still waiting on the sidelines, goggles on his forehead, feels really lame. He doesn't feel Rin come up behind him as soon as he expects – he breaks the surface, and though he doesn't look back, he doesn't feel like he's being followed. Rin can't be giving him that much time, can he? Gou wouldn't give him that much time… And he needs Rin in the water to give him that sharper focus.

But then, suddenly, he's there. Just a sensation at first, the undeniable knowledge that Rin is in the water, gaining on him, predator-like. It inspires a kind of thrill that's both panic and excitement, and his thoughts narrow down to the wall ahead of him and the force behind. Now he's swimming.

It's at the turn, like it's always been, that Rin gains the most time. Haruka's still ahead, catches a blur of Rin as they cross paths, but then the distance slices smaller and he knows Rin's on the straightaway as well. At his heels, at his knees. He pushes for the wall with each stroke, feels Rin's energy overtaking him, rushing through him and trying to drag him down as much as it spurs him faster.

The water roars in his ears, and Rin is a furious force beside him. His veins hum, his muscles, his nerves. The wall races up to meet him, and he reaches.

He knows the result before he can even gasp for a breath, like the pull between them finally gave, chose one of them at the last split-second.

He lost. Unlike yesterday, he minds. Even though it was inevitable, even though he expected it, a loss to Rin alone stirs up the embers of a rivalry that will never be put out.

Then sees Rin grinning and so out of breath that he's clinging to the gutter to keep him up. Rin meets his eyes and lets out a winded laugh that sounds more like a cough, and Haruka knows that that happiness doesn't come from beating him, but from racing him, which makes all the difference. So he minds, but there's satisfaction there as well.

It turns out that Gou had pushed Rin into the pool. He complains to her about it when he climbs out, but he's grinning when he holds out a hand to pull Haruka out. He's still pretending grumpiness when they part ways with Gou to enter the locker room.

"I might as well just have given you five seconds," he says, slicking his hair back and squeezing out the ends.

"You still won."

"Hardly! That almost killed me!"

Haruka shrugs. "You still won." He's still a little bit annoyed, but hopes Rin doesn't notice. If Rin does, he doesn't say anything.

They change in separate parts of the locker room. As he pulls on his socks, Haruka thinks about the fact that Rin hadn't gloated at all – and this is something very different from the old days. Rin loves to win and loves to celebrate his wins, even when the celebration is done in good humor, but this time he'd practically brushed his win aside.

Had he known he'd win too? Or was the race underwhelming, and there was nothing to celebrate? But he had been smiling…

Haruka finds Rin waiting for him by the exit, leaning against the lockers nearest the towel bin. Kaji-san must have already assigned him a locker to keep, because he doesn't have anything with him.

"About time," Rin says, pushing off the lockers. "Gou will probably eat one of us if we take any longer. Oh yeah, you're supposed to come to lunch with us. Gou said so."

"I figured that out already," Haruka says.

Rin digs his hands into his pockets, shoulders open the door. "Well hurry up then, or she really will eat you."

They take a window table in a small but busy American food joint a few blocks from the harbor. Gou shoves her bag onto the seat beside her, and Rin takes the seat beside Haruka next to the window.

Gou orders a burger and Haruka, after a long peruse of the menu, settles on some sort of fried, breaded fish stick (the type of fish isn't specified), which he realizes with equal parts reluctance and horror taste fantastic slathered in ketchup – something Gou had goaded him into trying ("Haruka-senpai, you can put ketchup on fish, calm down.")

Rin orders a salad, but throughout lunch Haruka watches him steal fry after fry off of Gou's plate. "You know, those people you work with," he's saying to Haruka, holding a fry in one hand and his salad fork in the other, "they aren't half bad swimmers. That Zaki girl's pretty intense."

"She's competitive," Haruka says. He watches Rin's hand sneak toward his plate, and gives it a threatening look.

Rin gives a sheepish laugh. "Can I?"

"Fine," Haruka relents, pushing his plate over.

Rin snatches a fish stick, dunks it into the ketchup on Gou's plate. "Man, this Western food is so addicting," he says, sounding kind of mournful through a full mouth. "Don't let me eat too much; I don't wanna feel sick when I have to swim later."

"Nii-san, you can take a day off," Gou says, wiping a smear of ketchup from the corner of her mouth. "Eat some fried food and then just relax all day."

Rin scoffs, covering his mouth with his hand. "I can't take a day off."

"Yeah you can."

"Um, no I can't."

"Um, yeah, you can."

There's a sudden commotion from Gou's backpack, and she jumps. "Oh, my phone!" she says, and she wipes her hands quickly on a napkin before digging furiously through the pockets of her bag. An mp3 player, a pack of gum, a folded pair of yellow socks, a couple receipts, three hair ties, and what looks like a frayed shoelace all make it onto the table before she finds her phone. "It's Rei-kun!"

"Rin-san?!" Rei says when they greet him on speakerphone.

"And me," Haruka says.

"Yes, hi Haruka-senpai," Rei says fervently, his voice slightly tinny. "Are the others there as well?"

"Nope, just us three," Rin says, leaning forward on his elbows. Haruka and Gou lean forward as well; the phone is in the center of the table, and it's hard to hear Rei well over the sounds of the other diners.

"Welcome back to Japan, Rin-san," Rei says. "I hope your flight went smoothly and wasn't plagued by crying babies."

"No crying babies this time, thankfully," Rin says. "Still didn't sleep much, but…"

"It's quite common for people to have difficulties sleeping aboard an aircraft," Rei says. "I personally have a hard time getting used to the dryness of the air; it makes my nose burn."

"Oh, hey, Rei-kun," Gou cuts in, "what are the names of the clubs you're in?"

"Brotherhood of Biological-Chemical Studies and the Chemical Engineering Society of Tokyo," he says, promptly and pompously, and Haruka can imagine him pushing his glasses up his nose. But he sounds disheartened when he continues on. "I've actually been contemplating withdrawing from the Brotherhood. I believe I've tried to fit too much onto my plate on top of my course load. My sleep schedule has been gravely affected and I cannot risk my ability to perform for my classes, and dropping a club would free an entire afternoon and morning… What do you three think I should do?"

"Rei-kun…" Gou frowns down at the phone. "You don't have to work yourself to the bone, at least not yet. It's your first year still."

"I know, Gou-san," Rei says sulkily. "But I want to be as involved as possible!"

"Rei," Rin says, and there's a crisp note of authority in his voice. "You can get more involved over time. If you don't think you can manage both clubs without affecting how you can do in all your classes, drop one for now so your grades don't suffer. Once you get more used to your workload, then you might be able to take on another extra activity."

Haruka is impressed – it's a glimpse back at the captaincy Rin once had, an authority that, while nowhere near vanished, seems to have dwindled since Rin went to America.

Rin catches his eye, looks a little embarrassed. What? he mouthes.

"Rin-san, you're right, of course," Rei says, still sounding unhappy. "What do you say, Haruka-senpai?"

Haruka looks away from Rin, leans over the phone. "I agree with Gou and Rin. Rei, don't push yourself too hard. You have a tendency to overwhelm yourself."

"Yes, all right." Rei sighs. "It probably is for the best… Ah! But Gou-san, I called because Nagisa-kun just called me and told me that you two had spoken about…"

They're on the phone with Rei until Gou's phone battery starts blinking red, by which time the table beside theirs has emptied and filled again. Once they hang up Gou digs through her backpack some more until she finds her portable charger.

"You know, somebody could take his own advice about working too hard," she says, tucking both the charger and her phone into her backpack's front pocket, and then starting to stuff everything else in around them.

Rin frowns at her. "My grades are fine, though."

Gou frowns back, only hers is more affective – stern and judgmental. "But now you won't even be here until I start my break."

"I'm sorry," Rin says, sounding like this is something they've bickered over before. "But I'd have to go back soon anyway for swimming and everything else."

Gou turns to Haruka, looks like she's about to tell him a bit of news she's been harboring that has disappointed her greatly, and like she expects him to be as disappointed as he is.

"Nii-san is only staying three weeks."

Haruka's eyes dart to Rin, who avoids his gaze.

"I'm taking summer classes," Rin says defensively to his empty salad plate. "But me and my friends are moving to an apartment and I have to be back in time to help with that."

Gou lets out a loud breath. Then she mutters, "I just wish I didn't get to only see you on the weekends."

"Yeah, well, me neither," Rin says. He slumps down onto the table, lets his arms stretch out across it. "Life is life. Vacations get shorter. Brothers have to work harder, all the way on the other side of the ocean, far from home, where the food's all real expensive, and people ask you where you're from all the time, and then they tell you to say something in Japanese, all the time."

Gou has her arms crossed and is looking away, but a reluctant smile takes to her lips. Seeing this, Rin takes hold of her plate and says, "You gonna finish this?"

"Jeez, stop eating!" Gou says, but she lets him take the last quarter of her burger.

Three weeks, Haruka thinks, still reeling at how short that sounds. He hadn't expected much, hadn't been expecting anything – of course Rin can't stay the whole summer with swimming – but just being able to count the time in weeks, in less than a single month, makes Rin's departure feel so imminent.

Now Rin is here, eating Gou's food and bickering with her and getting ketchup all over his hands, but in three weeks he will be gone all over again. It's like it's become suddenly all the more crucial that Haruka savors this time while he has it.

They have to hurry to the station so that Gou doesn't miss her train, and end up running the last couple blocks and reaching the platform just as the train roars in.

"You can just take the next one!" Rin says, even though he's pulled her most of the way and pulls her up the steps now.

"I can't, I'm meeting someone!" Gou says, panting for breath, her hair flying and her backpack bouncing noisily against her back.

Rin stops suddenly when they reach the doors, but Gou keeps going, colliding with him and throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. Rin staggers but finds his balance, and hugs her back.

"I'll see you next weekend," Gou tells him. "Be nice to Mom and help her with the dishes, and do your laundry and make dinner at least one night a week."

She releases him before he can answer, then turns to Haruka, who stopped a few steps back, and throws her arms around him as well. Haruka lets out an Oomph! of surprise, and the arms quickly squeeze the breath out of him before letting go.

"Bye Haruka-senpai, I'll see you too. You two better get along!" Gou says, before jumping aboard the train.

The doors close with a hiss of air, and the horn blares. The crossing gates lower, bells ringing and lights flashing, and Haruka watches – Rin backing away from the train to stand beside him – as the train slowly lumbers out of the station, picking up speed the farther away it gets.

Haruka rubs at his side, wondering faintly if he'll have a bruise from that hug. He hears Rin chuckle, and looks over.

"Watch out," Rin says, smiling at him. "She can be a hazard to your ribs."

Haruka lets his hand drop, feeling flustered for no apparent reason. Rin looks back at the tracks, at the receding train. The sun hits the side of his face, turns his hair copper, twisted up into a messy knot low on his head and still damp. The gates jangle for a little while longer, and rise once the train lets off a faint bellow far in the distance.

"So," Rin says. "Wanna call it a day, or do you still wanna hang out?"

Rin is still looking after the train, and Haruka realizes he hasn't looked away from Rin. He feels Rin's attention on him. Waiting, anticipating, hoping.

"I don't have anything else to do," he says.

"Great," Rin says, and it sounds like an exhale. He grins at Haruka. "Because I have something to do."

Rin must have seen the bookstore earlier, or at least known where it was, because he leads Haruka right there. It's a five minute walk from the station, and the store is surprisingly large, larger than most of the other little shops fit together like puzzle pieces. There are blue awnings over the door and windows, and posters in the glass advertising new releases.

Rin holds the door open, so Haruka goes in first, and the clerk at the station nearest the door greets him. "I'm looking for something" is all Rin says, following him in and then passing him by and heading straight into the heart of the store.

So Haruka follows him down the center aisle, past the colorful collections of new and popular books, past aisles and aisles of tall wooden shelves – science fiction, fantasy, mystery, children's, nonfiction. He sees a few people down the rows they pass but they all peruse quietly, and the conversations from the checkout counter quickly grow distant, making the place feel nearly empty.

Rin takes a sharp left down the aisle at the very back of the store. The shelves here are filled with reference-type books, and it must be that they don't get as much attention because Haruka can smell the pages – that musty, cloistered new-book smell. He wonders if Rin has taken him along for school shopping. Rin just heads down the row, slowing down slightly a few yards in, his head turning from side to side as he searches for something he very clearly thinks he will find.

Haruka doesn't know if he should pretend to be interested in the books down this row too, or go off and look around elsewhere, or just hover a few steps away from Rin and feel awkward. The quiet brings back with it the tentativeness that had vanished all morning; he thinks about asking Rin what he's looking for, but doesn't know if he should, doesn't know how hard Rin is concentrating, doesn't know if he wants Rin's attention on him now that the ease of the past few hours is dwindling into something jittery and frustrating again.

What frustrates him the most is how he goes from being aware of Rin, to being aware of Rin. One moment Rin is just Rin, there, in the vicinity of Haruka, wherever that is. Swimming pool, lunch table, train station.

And then Haruka is nervous and he can't stop looking, and Rin becomes so much more specific. He's five paces away, looking through books, eyes narrowed in focus. He's the hair falling out of his hair tie and over his shoulder, the hand in his pocket, the thin golden chain around his wrist, the breath he releases through his nose that is maybe frustrated, maybe just some unconscious sound. He is tall and broad-shouldered, and has a flannel shirt tied through his belt loops, and has laced his boots only three-quarters of the way to the top. He is an unconscious frown, a pull of tension on his forehead, a look that Haruka knows appears intimidating, but in reality melts into something friendly and open in seconds.

In these moments, it's like Rin becomes more precious to him. He is so many individual little touches, and Haruka notices the small things more and more and thinks about them more and more, but that's only because he's wondering if right now Rin is thinking about him, if Rin is focused on him even when he doesn't seem to be.

"Found it," Rin says. He slips a very small book off the shelf. "Pocket dictionary," he says, holding it up for Haruka to see. "For Makoto. They're useful if you just need a word. And usually you just need a word. The context you can usually just kinda…" He makes a whole-body gesture, a flop of his arms and a wiggle of his shoulders, and Haruka can't help giving a quiet snort. "Hey, don't laugh, you've never had to try to communicate overseas."

"I'm sure Makoto will be glad to have it," Haruka says, willing the nerves away.

"I mean, you can always count on phones for stuff like this," Rin says, scanning the shelves again, fingers trailing over book spines, "except for when you don't have service or you're out of battery or whatever. It's good to have a backup." He taps the dictionary against his temple. "You gotta be practical about these things."

"Makoto will probably carry it everywhere."

When they're heading back to the front of the store, Rin says, "Do you wanna look at anything?" Haruka's about to say that he doesn't, but Rin is already veering off toward a display stand near the entrance.

"Look at this," Rin says with a laugh when Haruka comes up beside him. He's pointing at a dark book titled Deep Blue, and when Haruka looks closer he sees the faint outline of silvery bubbles trailing upward over the glossy cover, meant to evoke the feeling of being deep underwater.

"Your kind of book?" Rin says.

"Hm."

Rin tsks. "Fine, guess not. I need…" He walks to the other side of the table, lets out a heavy sigh. "This."

Haruka follows him, and finds himself in front of an explosion of lilac. The book covers are gaudy, with lace designs in the corners and a curlicue title in the center that he can hardly decipher.

"What is that?" he says, the words coming out more appalled than he'd expected.

"Gou likes these," Rin says, grimacing and picking up one of the books. "They're really trashy romance novels but they're so popular. The new one just came out…"

"They're romance?" Haruka says. He touches the bumpy corner of one of the books like he's touching something that might bite. "Are you sure you haven't read any of them?" Gou let it slip once accidentally-on-purpose that Rin used to sneak into her shoujo manga collection when they were younger. Rin had been mortified at the time but hadn't actually denied it, and now his ears go red.

"I've read one, okay, but that's all, and it was for a bet," he says defensively. "Gou practically lives off these things, it's scary."

"They can't be that bad, can they?" Haruka says, taking a book from the stand and flipping it over to glance at the critics' reviews. He sees words like steamy and heart-wrenching and a moving tear-jerker. "Not if they're so popular."

"Hah!" Rin scoffs.

Two teenage girls step up to the display and each take a copy of the book. They cast furtive looks at Rin and Haruka and the books in each of their hands, and giggle under their breaths as they head away.

Rin looks mildly distressed. "I'm checking out," he announces, placing the pocket dictionary over the book for Gou, which does very little to disguise it. Haruka puts the copy he's holding back on the display, then follows Rin to the checkout.

Sometime between them entering the shop and now, all but one of the clerks has gone on break or otherwise disappeared from the front, so a line has begun to form. Haruka and Rin add themselves to the end of it, adopting the silence of everyone in front of them.

Rin fingers through the bookmarks hanging specifically so people about to check out will buy one more thing, and Haruka watches the little charms tinkling together on the ends of them. Then the line moves up, and he and Rin lurch forward a few steps, their shoulders bumping together.

The windows behind the checkout are tall and wide, beckoning in the sunlight so that the wooden counters glow warmly. By the time Haruka and Rin are at the front of the line, they're shoulder to shoulder and Haruka is only half aware of it. He can think about it, think Rin's shoulder is against mine, right now, and now too, and now also, and it's not going away, but it's easier to let his thoughts float somewhere just outside of his head, warm and glowing like the wood counters.

It's like slowly, slowly, the longer they're together, the more things go back to normal, or at least to something Haruka is okay with.

Except maybe it isn't slowly, because this is only Rin's second day back. Or maybe it's a long time coming, because he's been waiting to have Rin back for more days than he can count.

Two blocks away, outside of a small dojo, a group of elementary-aged kids stand around a fold-up table, a bright green sign taped to the front and two ice boxes sitting on top

"Hey, mister!" one of them says as Rin and Haruka pass by. "Wanna buy a popsicle? We're raising money for our club."

"What? Who're you calling 'mister'?" Rin says, stopping to read the sign, which says in large script: POPSICLES.

"So wanna buy one?" the kid asks him. "We have cherry, orange, strawberry, and melon."

"I'm not a 'mister'," Rin grumbles, crossing his arms, though he peers into one of the ice boxes.

"Well you're pretty tall," the kid says. "Those ones are melon and orange."

"How can you tell them apart?" Rin says. "They're all orange."

"The melon ones are kinda darker. But also it's funner if it's a surprise."

"Huh?!" Rin says, sounding scandalized, though Haruka can tell that it's staged. "What if I want orange but I get melon, and I hate melon?"

"Then you shouldn't pick an orange one. That's risky."

Rin looks at Haruka, a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. "Haru, do you think it's worth the risk?"

"You don't hate melon," Haruka points out, stepping up to the table. "So it's not really a risk."

"Fine, yeah, let's have no fun. Hey," Rin says to the kid. "Your sign doesn't say how much these are."

"400 yen for one, or two for 650."

"Man, so expensive…"

"I'll have a melon one," Haruka says. One of the kid's partners sticks his hand into the ice box, and Haruka pulls out his wallet.

"Wait, it's cheaper if we buy two," Rin says. He grabs Haruka's wrist, and then he kind of falters for a second and quickly lets go. He doesn't look at Haruka, but he also doesn't show any sign of what just happened, when he says to the kid, "I want a melon one too."

"I don't know if I can split 650," Haruka says, looking through his coins. He decides to pretend like he didn't notice anything either, even though he can still feel Rin's hand on his skin.

"I can make it 660 yen," the kid says, "if that'll make it easier for you."

Rin gives him a narrow-eyed look. "You better watch out, kid," he says, and gets a grin in response.

In the end, Haruka scrounges up enough small coins, and Rin mumbles as they walk away that it wasn't a good deal at all. He doesn't seem too bothered though, because he tears open the wrapper and bites off a corner of his popsicle. "I got melon," he says happily. "Did you?"

Haruka takes a bite of his. It's sweet and tangy – "Orange."

"Wanna trade?"

"It's fine. I like orange."

The popsicles are already soft and melt quickly, so Haruka and Rin find a brick ledge outside a quiet store front and sit there, letting the popsicles drip onto the cement instead of their clothes while they try to eat as much of them as possible. Rin has worse luck – juice keeps trickling down his wrist – until Haruka's breaks down the middle and one half falls right off the stick. He catches it in his palm, and then sticks it in his mouth. His teeth go numb from the cold.

Rin finishes first, then tips back the wrapper and drinks the slush at the bottom. He makes a face, nose wrinkling and tongue sticking out. "Too sweet…"

Haruka crunches into the last of his popsicle, tries to think of a way to fill the silence.

"How is Yamazaki doing?" he asks.

He wishes he hadn't the moment the words are out. Rin looks at him like he's started speaking a different language, which isn't that far-fetched. He doesn't know why he asked, didn't know two seconds before he did that he was going to. He'd just been thinking about how nice today has been, about how yesterday had been nice too, but a lot to take in, a lot of people he didn't think he'd see.

"With his swimming," he tries to remedy, but it still rings false.

"He's doing pretty good," Rin says cautiously.

"He still doesn't like me," Haruka says, and he thinks, Ah, this is it.

Rin gives a quiet chuckle, crinkling the plastic wrapper up in his hand. "You still don't like him, either."

"I'm indifferent," Haruka says quickly, but Rin clearly doesn't believe him and he doesn't believe himself either. "I could be, if he didn't have such a problem with me."

"He doesn't really have a problem with you," Rin says.

"Yes he does," Haruka says.

"Well, you have a problem with him too," Rin says, starting to sound defensive, and Haruka bristles even though he knows he has no right to.

Rin lets out a breath, shakes his head. He sets down his popsicle stick. "You both have really big egos, you know that?"

It stings to hear it now, like insult to injury, though Rin might be trying to lighten the mood when he says, just barely smiling: "Maybe that's why I get along with the both of you even if you can't get along with each other. I know how to deal with big egos." The dig is still there though; Haruka hears the warning, and doesn't refute it.

"I'd like it better if we could get along with each other," he mumbles. He really can't deny it anymore – he's still bothered by Yamazaki being bothered by him. Maybe if he hadn't seen Yamazaki yesterday it would have had time to fade away, but that chance has been ruined.

"Have you tried?" Rin asks, kind of softly and kind of sadly, kind of like having to watch two of his friends dislike each other so obviously has hurt him more than he's let on.

Haruka tries to imagine what it would be like if Rin and Makoto treated each other with thinly-concealed aversion, and for a moment feels his heart go cold. "He never told me what his problem with me was," he says, still reluctant to admit to any wrong.

"And you never asked, I'm guessing."

"He thought that you would stop taking competitive swimming seriously if you kept swimming with me," Haruka says quickly. "I didn't ask him about that, but it was easy enough to gather."

Rin looks across the street. Crosses his ankles and leans back on his hands. His eyes are narrowed like he's looking for something again, only there aren't books in front of him now.

"He was jealous of you," he says. "And I probably shouldn't tell you this because it's pretty personal for him, so don't go rubbing it in his face or anything."

"I won't," Haruka says. "It's not like I'm going to see him anytime soon."

Rin quirks a lopsided smile, still looking out and away. "True. Okay. Well, basically, he didn't get you. You never seemed to try – to win, to work on a team, to do things right. It all just happened for you. He didn't get how you could have something, something people work hard for, and not seem to take it seriously or work for it at all. Like you were taking it for granted. Not my words," he says, holding up his hands. "Not his either, but you know, I'm good at reading him."

Haruka looks down at his knees. "I kind of knew all of that, I think."

"Well, that's what it is. He took it as a kind of personal insult, because he's always felt like he's had to work harder and get better because he's never thought he's good enough."

"But he's really good," Haruka says, glancing at Rin.

Rin shrugs. "Yeah, but some people just want to be better so badly that it never feels that way. Plus, you were better than him at freestyle and you acted like you didn't even care that you were better, which really got to him." There's a reminiscing look to his expression, not something happy. Eventually he says, "It's just jealousy, Haru. He wants this so bad and you didn't know what you wanted, and it bothered him having to see that all the time because he felt stuck on your level."

"It's not his business…" Haruka says quietly, kind of edgily, wondering if they're still just talking about him and Yamazaki.

"Yeah, well, he's always cared too much about competition. Another thing you two have in common," Rin says, sounding lighthearted for a moment. But then he sighs. "Rei and I got over our differences."

But Haruka doesn't have a relay spot to give Yamazaki like Rei had for Rin, and as the language of swimming is the one he's most fluent in, he doesn't know how else to extend a peace offering. He turns his popsicle stick around in his fingers; his hands are sticky and gross, and he regrets bringing up the conversation in the first place.

"You know, he's not a bad guy," Rin says. "At all."

"I know," Haruka says, eyes still on his popsicle stick, and this much is true. He trusts Rin's judgment in people, even if he can't adopt it himself. "He's your friend, so I know he's not."

He wants to ask: Does he know? Does Yamazaki know about Rin's feelings for him? Probably not, but if Yamazaki did know, would he dislike Haruka more, or less?Haruka can't imagine Yamazaki being thrilled, but does that make him indignant, or does it make him self-righteously pleased?

Rin yawns; Haruka looks over in time to see his eyes go watery.

"You're still tired," Haruka says, taking the chance to steer the conversation away from thoughts he doesn't want to examine yet.

"Hm?" Rin drags a hand up his forehead, pulling back the bits of hair that have fallen into his face. "Yeah. I didn't sleep bad last night, but they say it's like the sleep you got two nights ago that affects you or whatever."

"Maybe you should go home and sleep."

Rin stretches his hands over his head; something pops, and he gives a satisfied groan. "I still need to train today. I'm taking tomorrow off, though. Don't tell Gou, she'll think she won. I was already planning to."

"You're working hard," Haruka says, which is easier than expressing his admiration outright.

Rin looks like he's trying not to smile. "Yeah, well, you know what's next summer, right?"

There's no way Haruka wouldn't know. "You're aiming for it."

Rin drops his eyes to the ledge, spins the popsicle stick around. "It's a slim chance, but still a chance."

"You have a year. That's a long time to train."

"Yeah." Rin's popsicle stick shoots off the ledge, and he stares at it on the ground for a few seconds before saying, "I told my coach. He says he'll train me for it, if I can prove I'm up for it."

"But you'd be swimming for Japan."

"He says he doesn't care about that as much as he'd just be proud to have one of his swimmers get there. There are other guys on the team though that'll probably try too, though."

"Be careful," Haruka says.

Rin looks at him, eyebrows scrunched up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't push yourself too hard."

"Okay…"

"Don't injure yourself."

Rin breaks into a laugh, shakes his head. "I'm motivated, not reckless."

"Hm."

"I'm not as reckless as I used to be. I'm more motivated, and less reckless."

Haruka gives a little puff of a laugh through his nose. It feels like Rin will sling an arm over his shoulders at any moment, teasing and taunting, and Haruka will pretend to complain. But Rin doesn't touch him, and Haruka is very aware of this. He's aware of it as they walk back toward the rec center, the careful maintenance of the space between them, of Rin's hand safely in his pocket. There's just the occasional shoulder-bump, which hardly has intention behind it.

So instead of this he thinks of Rin and the Olympics, and feels the amazement growing. To think that he's known Rin for so long, and is watching him get closer and closer to his dream… Rin has always amazed him, and will probably always inspire him.

But if he wants to keep racing with Rin…if he wants to be able to, and to have it actually be a race…he has to keep swimming harder on his own. It hits him, suddenly and blindingly in a way it hasn't before: Rin will keep getting better, and it's become an unspoken promise that they'll race each time Rin returns, but Haruka wants to give him a race worth looking forward to. He doesn't want to let Rin down by giving him a race that is no challenge at all.

He doesn't want to let himself down by giving Rin a race that's no challenge at all, but that means he can't stop getting better either.

He wonders if this is possible anymore. He knows, from today, that he wants it. He knows from yesterday that he wants it. He doesn't ever want to stop being able to race Rin.

"I'm gonna be at the rec center a lot in the mornings," Rin says, the first thing spoken in a while. "So…I'll run in to you?"

Haruka reads the real question on Rin's face: Do you want me to run in to you, or not?

"Yeah," Haruka says. "I'll be there Tuesday morning."

"Okay," Rin says. He's more subdued now; maybe it's because they've just rounded the corner into the parking lot, and Haruka's going to pass straight by for the train station. "Well…" he says, coming to a stop.

"Thanks for yesterday," Haruka says quickly.

Rin looks confused, and then like he understands, and then confused again. "You already said that."

"I did?" Haruka says blankly. And then he remembers – the bleachers, Gou teasing Rin, the swoop in his stomach. "Oh, yeah." His face feels a little hot, but he acts like he doesn't notice. "I forgot."

"Good job," Rin says jokingly. "But you're welcome. I'm glad you liked it."

"Yeah," Haruka says, not really sure what to say anymore. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Haruka nods, and Rin tries harder to stifle his smile.

"Well, I'm gonna go in. Wanna make sure I get a lane."

"Okay," Haruka says.

"Okay." Rin takes a step back, lifts a hand. "See you, Haru."

"See you on Tuesday," Haruka says. He watches Rin cross the parking lot – long strides and a lightness to him like he's been caught on a draft – and take the steps two at a time, waits until Rin is just a smudge of bright red hair through the glass, before he turns away too.

The longer they're together, the more Haruka realizes there is no more 'normal' for them, and things won't 'go back' to anything, but what they're becoming might be something he's okay with. He has three weeks to find out.