A/N: In response to this anon prompt - Could you please write mpreg!Kurt with Sebastian wanting to rub Kurt's belly but their pet dog/cat stands guard over Kurt and won't let Sebastian near Kurt? XD Inspired by youtube videos like this one /watch?v=zKigConPX90
Warning for mpreg, language. FutureFic, AU, romance, angst.
Sebastian glares with rampant, burning contempt into the feline eyes staring back at him while he nurses his newly injured right hand.
"Tell me again why we adopted this little rabid motherfucker?" he asks his completely unperturbed husband. Sebastian is cordoned off to one end of the sofa while Kurt and his overly protective orange tabby, Tigger, sit comfortably cuddled together at the other end. Kurt's eyes shift sideways to glance at his injured husband. He makes a sympathetic yet condescending face, adding an 'awww' for good measure, then turns back to the pages of the Parents magazine balanced against the swell of his seven-month along belly. Tigger curls up beside his right hip, purring contentedly, knowing that her adversary has been put in his place.
"We adopted this beautiful, majestic creature," Kurt coos, running a hand down the length of the cat's body, "because we saw her profile online, we fell in love with her instantly, and we didn't want her to be put down…just because she happens to be older than the other kitties." Kurt whispers the last part with a protective hand over the cat's ears to keep from hurting her feelings.
Kurt always did that when he mentioned their cat's advanced age.
Sebastian rolls his eyes. The cat is all of three-years-old. Still, even though he'd never admit it, he honestly thinks that the way Kurt is so protective of her feelings is adorable. Slightly insane, but adorable.
That's how he knew Kurt would make an excellent father.
None of that soothes the sting of his marred hand.
"I thought we had an understanding," Sebastian complains, more to the cat than to Kurt. "Weren't we pals once, you little piece of shit?"
"The vet says this behavior is normal," Kurt says with little concern. "It's just the tiger in her showing. Everything will go back to business as usual once the baby comes. You two might even like each other again by then."
"So, I'm not supposed to touch you until then?" Sebastian raises his voice, alarmed.
Kurt simply smiles and turns another page.
"Sebastian, I think you're overreacting a tad."
"Overreacting?" Now Sebastian's yelling. He raises his hand and shakes it in the air, trying to draw Kurt's attention away from his magazine to look at the three angry red marks dug into his skin. "Does this look like I'm overreacting? That bitch could have given me cat scratch disease! What, with her little furry paws scratching at her kitty litter." Sebastian shudders, shoving his wounded hand beneath his arm to keep it safe.
Kurt sighs, shaking his head.
"Well, she doesn't sleep with us, and she doesn't shower with us. So you can touch me then," Kurt resolves, stroking the cat again.
Sebastian immediately stops his sulking and grins, imagining the possibilities. Kurt has never been fond of his new curves, but Sebastian thinks they're hot, and he knows that as soon as their baby is born, Kurt is going to find the quickest way to make them disappear. With his naturally slender physique, that shouldn't be too much of a problem. So, Sebastian wants the chance to enjoy them for as long as he can.
"Oh yeah?" he asks, forgetting about his hand and moving closer. "So, if we take a shower together, I can touch you?"
"Of course, you can, Bas," Kurt says, turning his head to stare into his husband's darkening eyes, "anywhere you like."
"And, afterward, when we go to bed…" Sebastian crawls closer.
"We can go to bed naked, if you want," Kurt says, luring him in with a lick of his lips and a flick of his blue eyes down to Sebastian's hungry mouth.
"And maybe we can SHIT! SHIT! MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!" Sebastian bellows as the cat, all of her signs of warning ignored – her flattened ears, her flicking tail, her eyes with pupils narrowing at Sebastian's approach – lashes out with one deft paw and attacks his uninjured hand as it reaches out to caress Kurt's swollen stomach.
"It'll happen, baby," Kurt says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible when all he wants to do is double over and laugh. "You're just going to have to be patient and wait."
"Fine," Sebastian pouts, retreating back to his end of the couch, sneering at the cat who stares back at him with a look of quiet satisfaction at a job well done. "And you," he says, pointing in the animal's direction, "I've got your number, you furry piece of shit. You'd better watch your back."
The cat hisses unexpectedly and Sebastian jumps. Kurt snickers and Sebastian's cheeks redden.
"I'm going to clean up and make dinner," he mutters.
Kurt laughs him out of the room, shaking his head.
Sebastian storms off into the kitchen. Kurt can hear a clash of pots and pans as Sebastian continues his tantrum while he cooks.
"She's just a little cat," Kurt calls out to his husband while he pets the purring feline. "Look at your life right now, Bas."