Chapter 34 – Oh how much fun
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Before it was always a pain but now it almost drives me to laughter, "Mr. Potter report to my office immediately."
"What are you laughing about Neville?" Susan Bones asked.
I was waiting for Hannah as she was my latest snogging partner. "I would like to be a fly on the wall of Dumbledork's office to hear that conversation."
"Think their plotting the return of VoldeJerk or just discussing Potter's stupidity?"
"That's why I would like to be the fly. What do you think Susan is it me or has Potter changed?"
"Oh he has changed alright. He has turned into the biggest jerk this side of Malfoy."
"By the way what's keeping Hannah?"
"Oh she hasn't filled you in, Hannah has a new flame." Susan giggled.
"Yea well it's not like I am the 'golden boy' or anything. I guess I will have to find a new snogging partner, you wouldn't want to volunteer by any chance?" I ducked a playful slap to the shoulder.
"What's it worth to me Neville Longbottom?" I knew Susan was joking so I came back strong.
"How about Hogsmeade weekend on me… Honeydukes and the Three BroomSticks… the whole weekend on me?"
"Now how could a girl not fall in love with such a romantic proposal? Meet you outside the Great Hall at seven, but no funny business."
"Date, but who's being the romantic now Miss business woman?" We both laughed.
/Scene Break/
Susan Bones enjoyed spending money that weekend and we found that me holding her around her waist and here and there about town taking little kisses was actually enjoyable to both of us. We ended Saturday in an empty classroom finishing the day with a serious snogging hour. By Sunday night we found a hidden alcove and while no one doubted her breast size I was able to guarantee their authenticity. Susan was a pureblood with a strict aunt and I was a pureblood with a strict Grandmother. So Susan decided no emotions in public or we both could end up in trouble or with a marriage contract. We were heading for trouble because by the end of the week we had found a hidden room and our snogging was now combined with some serious groping.
/Scene Break/
Susan and I trailed out to the bleachers with the rest of the students for the first task of the Tri-Wizard tournament. While I figure that nothing much would change there was how this Harry Potter would fare this time and then it hit me, I was Harry Potter or was I? Because I was not participating in the tournament I was still Harry Potter, did the goblet of fire know the difference? I could just see Neville Longbottom "the squib" like everyone though he was from the start because the real Harry Potter didn't compete. That brought up Dumbledore's saying that there was two children that 'the prophesy' could have been about but Voldemort had marked Harry Potter as the one. I started giggling at the different possibilities because it was to dam late to do anything about it now.
"A sickle that Potter gets creamed by his dragon" Susan offered me.
"No bet, but if you want to bet on how bad he gets clobbered your on."
Susan's aunt gave her an allowance but not much. Now that I controlled the money in the Longbottom estate with Gran only monitoring until I reached legal age I lost my allowance and gained a fortune.
"I'll bet you a sickle that he gets carted off to the hospital on a stretcher and unconscious." Susan offered her next bet.
"Your on, I will say only helped off the field." I knew I lost the bet but it made me happy watching how happy she was making the bet.
It seemed that phony MadEye told Harry to fly but what amazed me was who taught him the 'accio' spell. He struts out onto the field and does a half decent job of flying around the dragon. That worked until the dragon used its tail as a beaters bat and Potter as the bludger. Potter impacted with the wall and didn't get up. He was carried off the field unconscious and on a stretcher. I paid the sickle with a smile.
/Scene Break/
The weekly staff meeting at Hogwarts:
"Minerva how are your classes running and have you noticed any problems?"
"Actually Albus I believe we have a large problem growing. While Mr. Potter is exempted from end of year testing his class grades are not even reaching dismal."
"I give a second to that Albus." Flitwick chimed in.
"I must say even Longbottom is doing better in Potions than Potter." Snape got some astonished looks as that was almost a compliment.
The meeting was interrupted by a 'floe' call from the ministry. Kingsley Shacklebolt's head appeared requesting entrance.
"Yes Kingsley, come on through." Almost immediately he stepped into the Headmasters office from the 'floe'.
"Albus, Madam Bones was attacked last night at her estate. She got out alright but her place was burned to the ground. She has taken up residency in one of our safe houses. I have a letter for her niece that needs to be delivered."
"I'll see to it Auror Shacklebolt, I am her head of house." Professor Sprout offered.
"They were dressed like Deatheaters but there is no way to tell if they were or some hired group from some arrest Madam Bones made.
"There seems to be enough signs so I am reactivating The Order of the Phoenix. Everyone keep all this quiet so we don't cause panic. Meeting adjourned.
/Scene Break/
The second task was boring. We sat in bleachers while the champions were underwater. Krum got Hermione while Fleur failed to get her hostage and had to be pulled out of the lake, Ron tried to drown himself and also had to be pulled from the lake. Diggory won and did so under the time limit.
/Scene Break/
One excited unhappy happy Susan showed up under the invisibility cloak to our hidden room and plopped on the couch. When I finally sorted out all the mixed feelings I was happy. Susan was upset that they almost got her aunt and unhappy about Bones Manor being destroyed. She was uncontrollably happy that her aunt had contacted Lady Longbottom to provide living space for her niece over the summer.
"Susan this makes me happy also but we have to be very careful. Gran is old, a pureblood prude and nosey as hell. If she gets a whiff of you and me holding hands you will be in a nunnery faster that you can say amen. We will need to have trips to the cinema or the library and don't be surprised if she was to tag along to chaperone."
"Harry it's not that you or I are madly in love and want a long-lasting relationship. This is fun and thrilling. We get to sneak around and hide what we get up to from everybody. Besides you know you like the thrills as much as I do of hiding our snogging and relationship from the rest of the school."
"Just keep it in mind I like my quiet life. Screaming parents be they aunts or grandmothers I can do without." I groaned.
/Scene Break/
The running, sit ups, chins ups and everything else that I put my body through had worked wonderfully. I had turned this body into Mr. Muscle not Mr. Flab. I had also been working on my dodging skills along with a lot of what 'the thing' that melted into my brain in knowledge. After a good workout and a long shower I was relaxing in the common room doing some light thinking that tomorrow started the vacation break. For some reason I let myself go, whether it was that or I had enough or maybe just for the fun of it, Harry Potter entered the common room and was running his mouth at me, again.
"Well if it isn't the squib sitting in our chair. Why don't you run along before you get hurt Longbottom."
I stood up, "Gee Harry if you wanted the chair all you had to do was ask. I'm sure you need all the rest you can get after a hard day of avoiding your homework." Potter made a mistake and tried to push me. Even thought I am right-handed I drove my left fist into his chin. I knew it would hurt me but I knew it would feel good.
Potter crumpled to the floor. While Seamus stepped up as the muscle of the golden idiots I just turned and went up to the dorms. I made sure that there were a number of jinxes around the bed for anyone who touched the drapes. I also put an advanced shield just inside the curtains. The only thing that could get through would be an unforgivable and I didn't think they would go that far.
The train ride for me was uneventful. Potter and Malfoy were yelling most of the way and towards the end they traded curses. Gran escorted Susan and I to Longbottom Manor. She put Susan on a different floor on the other side of the Manor from my room. It's nice to know you relatives think you are some perverted rapists waiting to spring on some unsuspecting innocent female. The next morning Susan whispered to me that she swore that Gran had spent half the night outside her door insuring she didn't leave.
Gran spent most of the day insuring that Susan had a great time settling in and that I didn't come close enough to molest Susan. The reality of old age settled in around sundown and Gran insured we were all tucked away in our rooms and she retired. Exhaustion and old age are good bed partners. I was reading a book in my shorts when the door to my room opened and then closed. Susan slipped out from under the invisibility cloak just wearing her pajamas.
"What have we here Mr. Longbottom is that your bottom showing now that your pants are down."
I quickly put up silencing charms and locked the door with a super advanced locking charm. I put up anti-apperation and anti-port-key wards. With Gran it was important to be prepared.
"Susan you know you are taking a big chance sneaking around, Gran usually can tell if there is a mouse in the house at a tri-hector distance."
"Hush and move over." A kiss started the evening followed by clothes flying. I was glad that I kept my contraception potion up to date just in case. Susan turned out to be insatiable but around three in the morning I got her out of my room. I had died enough times in my life and I didn't need Gran letting loose on me.
/Scene Break/
I set the alarm clock for Gran's respectable hour to get out of bed and was down at breakfast. "Morning Gran, sleep well?"
"Yes Neville quite well. It appears your friend is having a sleep in this morning."
"Harold!"
POP
"Yes Madam Longsebottums?"
"Please wake our guest and inform her that we await her at breakfast."
POP
Susan was not happy at arising at the insistent of Gran but what could she do as a house guest? Later she fell asleep on the couch while reading a book while I was in the Greenhouse pulling weeds. I chuckled as I thought I did this for the Dursley's and now for the Longbottom's. Maybe I should become a gardener and get it over with.
While an every night visit was not to be, Susan did make frequent trips to my bedroom. It was the thrill of getting caught I guess. She pulled a few surprised on me like having her way with me on the potting table in the greenhouse and once in the living room when Gran went up to take a bath before bed. The night we fell asleep together I thought we were going to get caught as we woke to the alarm clock but we made a clean get-a-way. Susan thought it was a blast as she snuck out to get ready for breakfast.
Happy nights and sneaky bed partner ended as Susan's aunt picked her up to spend the rest of the summer together. Boring nights accompanied me until the train to Hogwarts a few weeks later. My days were not overly unoccupied. Being I was not a famous superstar I was able to come and go to the Ministry and complete my OWLs without notice. My only restriction was being unable to take my Wizengamot seat until I reached seventeen.
/Scene Break/
Well I must say the train ride was different although my love life remained the same. Susan stopped by dumped my cloak in my lap and said adios. She found a new thrill with someone else while visiting her aunt. I just sat there in my compartment with my mouth open. It was the suddenness of it that surprised me. Oh well, I thought and closed my mouth to find there across from me was a smiling Luna Lovegood.
"Want another snuggle bunny? Luna asked. As I was formulating an answer in my surprised state she asked what I would like to be called.
"Neville is fine." I answered a tad confused; Luna had the reputation of someone not wrapped to tight.
"Yes I'm interested in trying out what all the girls are talking about. Nothing serious but I would like a trial run besides you will need an alibi in the near future Nev. I can lie without being caught and you can call me Lu."
Just to make sure I wasn't is shock or had fallen in the fast lane of insanity I answered, "Well Lu if you are really sure why don't you meet me by the DADA class room tonight after dinner and we can talk." I was thinking that by tonight she would have forgotten all about everything.
As usual I got to eat, as usual, by myself and unbothered. Harry Potter was making large claims of special training he had received from the Headmaster and MadEye Moody. Thankfully he and his fan club were at the other end of the Gryffindor table. He was letting everyone know that he had the third task already wrapped up and won. The other two schools were glaring at him while Diggory just shook his head. After two events Potter had zero points and was the last of the four champions in standing.
As I headed to the DADA classroom Luna came skipping up. Hi Nev ready to show me a good time?
After a small stumble I said we needed to go somewhere private to talk. "I have this cloak that will hide you until we get to my private room."
Luna just giggled and disappeared. I felt her take my hand so I threw my cloak over myself with my free hand and headed to the secret room.
"That's a nice disillusionment charm there Lu."
"Daddy and I are always chasing down rare animals and this way is a good way to watch them. They don't like to be watched you know, especially when the have sex."
"So you know about sex and how it's done?" It was a dumb statement but Luna was odd enough to worry me about taking advantage of her.
"Of course silly. All the animals do it and daddy gave me a book when I came here that shows how people do it with all kinds of pictures.
We arrived at the room and I sat on the couch. Luna dropped into my lap and snogged the hell out of me. By the time we came up for air I'd bet I was cross-eyed dazed.
"I liked that Nev what do you want to do next."
"Why don't we do this slowly and let things happen."
"So do you want me to do like you and Susan did so no one knows we are playing paddy-cake?"
"If you don't mind Lu I think it would be best."
"Yes I see. You are right; we get enough ill-treatment by ourselves. It we became a public couple it could get some really bad insults and treatment."
Luna then snogged me silly again and left saying, "Meet you here tomorrow after dinner." I watch as she skipped away.