Chapter 37 - DummyDorkin forever
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Now what? No white room just a…damn I'm in the Tri-Wizard maze and that's the tri-wizard cup. Not this side of hell will I touching that thing. That option became open again for debate as a Chimaera charged around the corner and let loose a blast of flames. Since I had no help or spears of lead I banished the cup at the Chimaera. I actually thought that the creacher would melt the cup and it would be one less thing that I had to look out for. The Chimaera apparently didn't fear it and just ignored the cup with its eye on me. Rather than it bouncing off its hide the port-key in the cup activated and I got rid of two dangers. Now I only had to figure out where I was and exactly when and who was trying to manipulate me this time around.
I figured that nothing had changed except where and the when that I was dumped into, dumb thinking as I realized I was now back in my Harry Potter body. After a quick adding up all of my courses of actions the light bulb in my head came on as I realized I wasn't getting anywhere fast. I paused, what did I want to do, then maybe I could choose an action or goal. I don't care for anybody but for a few girls who in this go around would probably not give me the time of day if things held from my past experiences. So this time around it was back to being alone, that ment not knowing friend from foe so that left one option, 'its Gringotts time'. I slipped through the maze in the Hogsmeade Village's direction and burnt a couple of holes in the hedges until I was out. I made it thought the gates which were open but deserted. I did notice the Dark Mark floating over the spectator's area as I cleared the gates and 'apperaated' to Gringotts.
"Lord Potter or should I say Sir Pelleas." Lockjaw welcomed me as I entered his office.
That stopped me dead in my tracks as I thought I was back in a earlier time line or was I? Lockjaw gave his barking growl of a laugh and told me to take a seat.
"I also thought myself apparently going around the twist when I opened my secret compartment of my desk which I check every morning and found a manuscript. Rather than believing that I wanted myself to believe myself crazy I took the story residing in the compartment to heart. My other me, from whenever, wrote your entire tale down. I took it upon myself to put all your vaults in your new Pelleas vault, processed your emancipation paperwork and readied your cottage in Hogsmeade. I hope that this was satisfactory?"
"Yes, thank Lockjaw, why don't you take a thousand Galleons as a thank you gift. I am having trouble getting my mind sorted out and have a few questions if you have the time."
"Your gift gets you an abundance of time so what are your questions?"
"How did I get emancipated?"
"You're Sir Pelleas in the muggle world and Lord Potter in the magical world that allowed you to just ask for it, it's that simple. Oh and just for information Lord Longbottom is alive and running around somewhere."
"Oh before I forget give the Weasley twins two thousand and tell them that I want them to open their joke shop.
"There seems to have been a time lag between when I left and when I arrived back in this time line. Since you got that manuscript it must be the same time line, Could you tell me how much has happened resonantly that I would be interesting to me?" This was giving me a huge headache.
"My previous self did leave a few notes. It appears that when you did your swan dive out of the window Professor McGonagall left for Longbottom Manor and 'floed' Madam Bones of the DMLE. They found Augustus Longbottom had been memory charmed which led back to Dumbledore. It was quite the stink according to my old self. While that was going on Dumbledore just came to Gringotts to collect your vaults with his accompanying thieves the Weasleys."
"Mind telling that particular story your old self left?"
"My pleasure Lord Pelleas. Dumbledore presented his guardian paper work, the marriage contract and then had the hutspâ to argue that it was all legal and above-board. His anger almost got him killed when he found empty vaults and demanded we open our paperwork for him to determine where all he gold went. He used his office to stop us from feeding him to the dragons for violation of the treaties. All in all it was a very entertaining day for my old self."
About that time another Goblin rushed in and started a string of Gobbledygook. Lockjaw started laughing again. "Sir Pelleas, getting back to today's events, it seems that after you left MadEye Moody rushed out and fired the Dark Mark into the sky while yelling that the Dark Lord had returned and that Harry Potter was in the Dark Lords possession. I must say that my association with you Lord Potter is most entertaining."
"Lockjaw just call me Harry, all these titles are a waste of our time. while we plot my revenge…" I was interrupted by another Goblin rushing in and letting loose a string of Gobbledygook."
"Harry I think it would be wise if you stepped behind me and took a seat in the chair that you will see off to my right. It will hide you from view from the rest of the room yet let you see and hear everything. I think the entertainment is about to get more enjoyable, Dumbledore is here."
I took the seat and saw two guards enter and take their position behind Lockjaw. While this was going on I had a chance to think and I realized that there must be a circus going on at Hogwarts. The Dark Marks being fired off by MadEye, at least one of the champions, me, was missing and supposedly in Voldemort's hands and yet Dumbledore is here. I chuckled to myself thinking of Fudge trying to award the cup to the winner, the Chimaera was first to touch the cup. Then I got a chill, Voldemort was dead, Thanatos had confirmed that only a couple of his horcruxes had been causing the problems. I just sonic blasted those pieces and his wrath so who or what was going on now?
My thoughts were interrupted by the entrance of the Great Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore with Molly Weasley hot on his tail.
"Lockjaw I am here to claim the vaults of the late Harry James Potter."
"We are... Albus has the marriage contract with Harry Potter and my daughter Ginevra Molly Weasley."
"I have here the contract and my paperwork appointing me his guardian. As he died in the tournament at the hands of Lord Voldemort we have come to claim the vaults."
"While we have yet to determine that Harry Potter is…" Lockjaw stopped as the pompous Minister of Magic hustled in with his boot boy Weatherby.
"Now see here what is this about your claiming the Potter estate, the Ministry has first claim as there is no will."
"I will not see my daughter shorted because the silly twit didn't make a will. We have a valid marriage contract and by law she inherent his vaults, all of them you hear." Customers on the main floor could probably hear her, even the swords on the wall were vibrating and looked ready to fall to the floor.
I didn't have to read between the lines to realize that those three considered me dung and only a means to my vaults. Lockjaw made my day a few seconds later.
"If you three will shut your babbling and go somewhere else to decide who gets the empty vaults, Gringotts will the be happy to give you the keys to said vaults."
The almost simultaneous scream of 'empty' started another round of demands and screaming, a couple of swords did fall to the floor.
"I demand to know where the galleons and property have gone; you will give us that information immediately!" Dumbledore demanded.
"You demand nothing in Gringotts and you Dumbledore are now in violation of our treaty. Now either get out of Gringotts this minute or I will have the lot of you feed to the dragons."
I had both hands over my mouth to help with my snickering; Lockjaw really let them have it with both barrels.
About that time another Goblin rushed in and started a string of Gobbledygook. Lockjaw smiled and warned, "On your way out you might beware as there is a Deatheater attack in progress just outside the bank. Have a nice day and get out.
After thanking Lockjaw for an entertaining day I 'apperated' to McDonald's for a burger before going back to Hogwarts in time for curfew. There was no way that I could keep a straight face when I entered the common room. I did control myself to only a huge smile as I strolled in and attempted to take a seat.
"Mr. Potter where have you been?" Dumbledore roared, he and McGonagall rose from their chairs across the room.
"Why thinking about the idiots that put together this stupid tournament. Hell I attempted to touch the cup and it vanished right in front of me, how can anyone win with that crap going on. I have been on the schools roof thinking for the last couple of hours if you must know."
"Report to my office at once Mr. Potter, I will have some answers from you."
"Geesh, I put in a grueling time fighting beasts in your stupid maze and you won't even allow me any time to sleep, that's just downright child abuse if you ask me." I turned and headed out through the portrait ignoring McGonagall's admonishment for my attitude and language while Dumbledore was demanding respect and some other things I missed by leaving so quickly. There were enough students in the common room to start a serious rumor, which they did.
I was just turning into another corridor when I noticed Dumbledore was not following. When I arrived I just sat down by the gargoyle awaiting their realization that the day of password guessing was long gone for this kid. I had a shit for a body again including glasses, scar and I was not looking forward to my future self imposed exercise routine. Exercise was always murder and sore muscles when you first start and there was no quick fix only some potions to help.
"Potter get your lazy incompetent ass moving the Headmaster wishes you in his office, now!"
That gave me the will to start training; Snape was in for an attitude adjustment as soon as I got into semi shape.
Twinkles' was behind his desk, Molly was off to the right and Snape slithered into the shadows on the left. They appeared to have another entrance to his office or they used Fawkes. I was relegated to the center chair for the grilling. He started with his grandfatherly you have to love me routine.
"Harry we just got back from Gringotts and they say your vaults are all empty. Have you any idea what happened?"
"Why would you be looking into the Potter vaults?" Playing stupid should work for me as that is what they expected of me."
Harry dear we were putting your and Ginny's marriage contact on file with Gringotts when they told us the sad news. Do you have any idea what happened?"
I suddenly had an idea that should make them mad and maybe get some information. "Oh marriage contract, that's probably what they did, I know I would include that in my Will if I was me."
"What do you mean by that Harry?" I got the sincere grandfather look with twinkling eyes. A thought flashed through my brain almost causing me to laugh out loud. I wondered if Dumbledore would add an eyelash flutter if I was a girl.
"Well Headmaster it was probably in my parents Will, it probably states any forced marriage contract would trigger all the vault contents to be given to charity. Of course I wouldn't know as some idiot froze my parents will from being read. That clause will definitely be in my Will when I grow older."
"So you have no idea?"
"That's all I can think of Headmaster." Like I was going to tell them the truth.
"Well run along then Harry we will talk later." Dumbledore stated as a memory probe hit one of my outer defence walls.
I got out as quick as I could. It didn't work well as I didn't get any information but then neither did they. What I though was cute was they only were worried about the money. No words about how I am doing, the winner of the tournament, just the Potter's money. What I didn't realize was I had just outlived my usefulness to a number of people.
I spent the next day bumping into many of my ex girls and there was neither sparks nor recognition. In most case I was ignored. It looked like it would be a summer of exercise to keep my mind off of girls and off better times. Then again at my age what could I do with a girl past a good snog?
/Scene Break/
There was no luck in leaving Hogwarts for the summer without a mandatory trip to Dumbledore's office. I got to sit by the gargoyle for over an hour. After a while I wished I had not brought the Dailey Profit to read as Voldemort had done a number on some muggle area in London, finally the gargoyle slid open. Dumbledore made my day while he insisted that I return to the Dursley's for my protection. I wondered how much the Dursley's could take before they went screaming out the door.
/Scene Break/
I had been thinking about everything and nothing important but I needed a few hours to sort out my head uninterrupted. The train ride to Kings Cross was that opportunity. I got an empty compartment and started putting every ward I could think of on the door and walls. From notice-me-not to 'confundus' charms, I needed the time to think or feel sorry for myself.
First there was what Thanatos had told me about Voldemort. Voldemort was dead in one of my lives and his pieces sent to hell. Later a couple of his pieces had escaped and was causing trouble. That time my Phoenix form had micro-waved him into nothing taking his remaining Horcruxes' with him. If things progressed like each successive time line Voldemort was already dead in this time line or was possibly down to his last wrath. Then again who was I to know anything?
The train sped along and I continued mulling over problem after problem. Why couldn't some one some time tell me what is going on? I did my analyzation of what I knew and didn't like what I was finding. I cared for my girls but they had been ripped and torn from them. I was just approaching the snapping point and turning into…? I couldn't see myself as another Voldemort but I could see myself snapping and hurling 'Avada Kedavra' at everyone. Then there were my friends? Now there was a joke and the train sped onward to my vacation with my beloved relatives.
/Scene Break/
From the back seat of the car I can see Vernon's red neck and the glares thru the rear view mirror; this does not bode well for my return to Privet drive. I was laughing maniacaly to myself the whole way, their time had come. I was The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Many-Times, what were they going to do, kill me? With wand-less magic and life times of curses and spells, yes I was laughing to myself. In fact I had to remember to see if I had an animagus form in this life.
The front door slammed shut and the 'one trick' Vernon swung his cricket bat only to find it laying at his feet in small pieces. When he looked up he found himself looking at the grinning Freak as he suddenly flew and was stuck to the wall. He saw Petunia race out of the kitchen with a rolling-pin only to join him stuck to the wall.
I found Dudley quivering behind the couch in the living room. "Dudley why are you hiding behind the couch, don't you want to do a little Harry Hunting?"
One of my first thoughts was to lock them in the cupboard under the stairs and only let them out to eat but someone would show to find why Vernon was not at work. While many joyful tortures ran through my head I knew I couldn't do them. So in the end I made a port-key. I systematically trashed the house. I poured Vernon's expensive booze on the floor in front of him and melted Dudley computers and girly magazines. Petunias kitchen looked as if it hadn't been cleaned for years with goo hanging from the ceiling. My last act had me remove the car battery and I modified a tape recorder to play a special message. I snitched a motion detector out of one of Dudley's toys and put the lot in the cupboard under the stairs. It took a while working in the garage but I finally got the laugh down to sound really evil. I then activated the Dursley's port-key and I 'apperated' out of the house. I knew the port-key and 'apperating' would call in the Ministry if not Dumbledore. I wondered if the nude Dursley's would cause much trouble in the nudist camp down on the coast. I was now Harry Pelleas, now a resident of Hogmeade Village. I had decided to quit the whole world and start a new life or die trying.