A/N: This is another one of those chapters that goes into a little more detail on Mordecai's thoughts and feelings due to the drug use. This is probably the most detailed one, actually. Nobody said anything about what they thought about the rating so I am leaving the overall story a T. Consider this a warning that some content in this chapter may be considered for more mature audiences.

Chapter 10

Nine Days Earlier…

It had been a week since Jessica introduced Mordecai to heroin. Now, it was all he thought about. He would lie in bed each night and beat himself up over it – "What the hell am I doing?I must be crazy for allowing this to happen.I never wanted to be like this.I feel bad for turning my back on Rigby all the time because of this." However, his inner demons would ultimately win the argument. "I need it though. It's the only thing that makes me feel good. Maybe just a few more hits, then I'm done with it. I can stop anytime I want to..."

The high was so euphoric and relaxing. Alex was right, there was nothing like it in the world. After first taking a hit, it gave him a rush of happiness that made him feel like he could accomplish anything. He didn't even care that Margaret was gone. As the high wore on, he became much mellower. It made his entire body feel warm and fuzzy. All he had to do was close his eyes and he could drift off into whatever fantasy he chose, yet have it feel completely realistic. The blissful state somewhere between being awake and teetering on the edge of dreamland was incredible.

Everything comes with a price though. From the very first syringe, he needed to have more. It was the only way to quench the craving and make him feel happy again. With each hit, he got deeper and deeper into his dependency on it. When he was not high, the only thing Mordecai cared about was getting high again. He would get irritable, depressed and restless until he was able to get his fix. He tried to calm the urge with pot, which helped a little, but it wasn't enough. He distanced himself Rigby and everybody else at the park whenever possible so they wouldn't notice it if he was acting a little strange.

Mordecai gathered up his entire savings and gave it to Alex in exchange for a couple of weeks' supply. His body was building a tolerance for the drug so he had to keep increasing the dose to get the effects he desired. He was constantly chasing the first high. The subsequent times were still euphoric, but nothing compared to the first time. With each hit, he strived to have that feeling back again. It worried him that he wouldn't be able to afford this habit for long, but he decided to deal with that when the time came. He was only concerned about the here and now and satisfying his urgent cravings.

Rigby was starting to give up on asking Mordecai to hang out after work anymore. The two were growing apart as Mordecai was now spending all his free time with Jessica.

"So, Benson's talking about putting together the bowling league again this year." Rigby said as he and Mordecai painted the shed.

"Yeah, I heard him say something about that at the meeting this morning. " Mordecai responded.

"That was a lot of fun last year."

"Yeah, it was. We really kicked those guys' butt good once Skips finally came back to the team." Mordecai reminisced.

"So, are you in?" Rigby asked.

"No, I don't think so, dude. I don't really have time to come to practice."

"What are you talking about? You have just as much free time as I do, man." Rigby pointed out.

"It's just, I usually have plans, dude. Sorry. Why don't you see if Muscle Man wants to do it?"

"No way! I'm not listening to his stupid my mom jokes the whole time we're trying to bowl. And you always have plans. You never want to do anything with us these days. You've been acting really strange, dude."

"Sorry Rigby. You're right. I'm guess I'm still down about Margaret. I didn't realize how obvious it was to everybody." Mordecai lied. He was still feeling upset over Margaret, but that was no longer the main reason he was acting strange.

"It's totally obvious, man! You're gone all the time! Did you think we just wouldn't notice? Where do you go all night anyway?" Rigby asked.

"We've been over this before, dude. There's this girl named Jessica that I met. Before you ask, we're just friends. I go hang out with her and her friends." Mordecai said.

"So I'm not cool enough for you now?"

"It's not that. It's nothing personal. I just need a break from the park for a little while. Too many memories here." Mordecai explained. This time he was being truthful.

"I wish you would hurry up and get over Margaret. It's so boring here without you around! If I have to listen to one more My Mom joke, I'm going to scream!" Rigby complained.

"Sorry, dude. I just need some space for a while. Things will be back to normal soon." Mordecai knew that things were getting further from normal every day, but he really wanted to get Rigby off his back about it.

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Present Day…

The next time Mordecai awoke, he was in a white room. The brightness of the walls, sheets and fluorescent lights hurt his eyes as he opened them and looked around. He was lying in bed, hooked up to an IV. His wing was tightly bandaged along with a few minor cuts on his face. "Shit" he muttered. Benson had taken him to the hospital despite his pleas. The slow drip of the IV fluid was providing nourishment to his body as well as delivering an intermittent dose of morphine to help ease his pain. The familiar warm and fuzzy feeling of the opiate, though nowhere near as intense as what he was used to, helped him to relax somewhat. He turned his head, hoping to see Rigby in the room's other bed, but it stood there neatly made and frighteningly empty.

There were voices out in the hall by his room talking just out of earshot. Mordecai recognized one of them as Benson's, but couldn't make out exactly what was being said. He was only able to pick up bits and pieces of the conversion. He strained his ears to listen to what they were talking about, hoping to find out Rigby's status.

"Critical condition….surgery to repair internal bleeding…broken arm…possible coma…." An unfamiliar voice came through in fragments. Moredecai's heart sank in his chest. He hoped to God that they were talking about someone else and not Rigby, but he in the back of his mind he knew the truth.

"…other patient?" The voice belonging to Benson asked.

"…a lot of blood…injuries aren't life threatening…shock seems to be wearing off…blood work...in his system." The unfamiliar voice explained.

"You found WHAT IN HIS SYSTEM?" Benson's yell came through as clear as a bell.

"I'm so screwed." Mordecai thought. This was exactly why he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was over now. Everybody knew what he'd allowed himself to become. He had no idea what to expect from them or how they would react, but he knew that it wasn't going to be good. There was nothing he could do about it at this point so he relaxed his head on the pillow and let the morphine send him off into a fitful sleep.

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A/N: I actually had to do research for this chapter. I certainly wasn't expecting for it to get that involved when I started this story. It's cool though. I learned a few things and what Mordecai is doing is something you definitely don't want to mess with! It takes over your life. Anyway, this is the last update before my trip so there will be more when I get back. Take a second and leave a review to let me know what you are thinking so far - love it, hate it, what needs improvement, etc. I don't offended by reviews that point out flaws as long as don't just say "it sucks" and leave it at that.