Author's Note: Hello, everyone! Again, I give my humblest apologies for not updating sooner – like I said last time, this tale has had me STUCK so freaking bad. But, here's another chappie for ya! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran, nor will I ever own Ouran. Sad day!

"Lie to me – convince me that I've been sick forever, and all of this will make sense when I get better…but I know the difference between myself and my reflection; I just can't help but to wonder: which of us do you love?" –Breathe No More, Evanescence

The winter ball left a little spark in me for awhile. For about a week it was easier to breathe. I felt truly happy for the first time in months, maybe even years. There was literally a spring in my step and a smile in my heart.

And then Christmas came.

Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas: the lights, the warm fuzzies you get during the special season, not to mention the goodies. When I was a little kid, we would chop down a real tree from up in the mountains and tie it on the top of the car. The house would be full with the scent of pine needles and warm hugs and sugar cookies. The angst in me about my parents would disappear, and for the whole month of December they saw me with clear eyes.

This Christmas was wrapped in cheap plastic and served with a side of bullcrap. My mother, being the good woman she is, tried to make it like it was last year. We even chopped down a tree and hung the traditional ornaments. A part of me appreciated the effort she made. Another part of me wanted to scream. Like everything else, it just wasn't the same without Natsuko.

We got up at ten a.m. Christmas morning. Natsuko would always get me up at the butt crack of dawn to look at the presents since she could never sleep. I got my mom a couple of new sewing patterns and thread (that woman can sew like no one else), and I got dad a couple of CDs from his favorite band. What surprised me the most was what they got me: along with some new clothes and other things lay some fine, crisp parchment, and a bunch of fine-tipped pens for new sheet music. They say they've noticed me composing like crazy.

A lump forms in my throat, cutting off my air. My heart floods with so many different things: gratitude, heartache, loneliness, with a touch of forgiveness. A tear escapes my eyes before I can stop it. It lands on the fine parchment, staining it grey. The only thing I can manage to say is, "Thank you."

After Christmas break, school resumes. The teachers flood us with quizzes and tests since the new semester is starting, but I'm so full of leftover Christmas food and warm fuzzies that my mind draws a blank on all of them.

Later…

He haunts me. My eyes betray me, looking up from the piano keys and follow him throughout the room. The minute he glances over his shoulder I snap back to attention. Heat rises to my cheeks and the tips of my ears and I burn, the fire in my heart blazing. I mutter curses at myself the whole time; even if there was a ghost of a chance he had the same feelings it would be all for naught. I'm not stupid like the other girls. And if that ghost of a chance did exist, he would only like the reflection I show. There's a reason why I don't let anyone too close: they would see the shadows lurking under my skin and the tears that make my eyes glassy. They would see the real me: a selfish, lonely weirdo. And then they would leave me.

They would leave me, just like my sister did.

The anger at that thoughts courses through my blood and I slam the piano keys in frustration. I got a few quizzical looks from some girls sipping tea, but I give an apologetic smile and resume.

Afterward, Kyoya comes up to me. "Hello, Emiko. Did you have a good Christmas?"

I'm ready to say that it was wonderful and nice, but for some reason I tell him the truth. "It was alright," I shrug a shoulder. "it could've been better, though. How was yours?"

"It was…fabulous." A shadow flickers in his eyes, and I see something I never have before: a trace of sadness. And hidden beneath that, anger. What on earth could he be sad or angry about? He's the vice president of the Host Club of Ouran High School, for heaven's sake. I've seen his house from a distance and even then I could tell it was enormous. What could he be so unhappy about?

Kyoya and I make some more small talk, and I'm about to leave when a voice behind me says, "Hey, Em? Could I talk to you for just a second?" I look over my shoulder and see Kaoru standing there, his hands in his pockets. Kyoya looks at him with a raised eyebrow. I almost smirk when I see him scowl at Kaoru.

"Sure." We step out into the hallway and shut the door. Kaoru shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot before he begins speaking.

"Em…before the winter ball, when I was helping you with your dress…I noticed all these cuts on your arm. I was just…wondering where they came from."

Deep breath in, and out. Conceal it, I tell myself. Don't let him know how much of a screw-up you are.

"Oh, those?" I say lightly, my heart hammering through my chest. "I have a cat at my house and she's…pretty aggressive." I can't believe I'm saying this: an aggressive cat? What a pathetic excuse. There's no way he's going to buy that. "But we'll be getting rid of her soon," I add quickly. "since she's such a bother."

Kaoru laughs. "Well, that's good. I thought they came from a pet, but I wasn't sure…" his voice trails off. "Anyway, I just wanted to know if you were okay." He leans over and gives my shoulder a squeeze. "I'm here if you need me, okay?"

I nod and smile slightly. I'm a mirror: just show them the outside and act like everything is okay, and it will be. Only I know the difference between myself and my reflection. This thought drives me to near madness, and when I get home I give myself a new scar, right where Kaoru laid his hand.

Author's Note: Kaoru is so freaking sweet, I just love him! 3 and I love Evanescence, I think I've used three of their songs now as an intro XD Hope you enjoyed it, and I apologize once more for not updating sooner. You guys are the best! Please review!