Thanks for reading! This chapter does have some NSFW content.

A summary: when struggling to communicate, resort to the language Hisoka knows best.

"Ow!" complained Gon, falling back onto his ass. "No fair!" He rubbed his elbow.

"Do you expect your bullies to fight fair?" Hisoka asked, tossing the ball up in the air and catching it.

Gon shrugged. "I guess not." He hauled himself to his feet. "Again?"

"I think you're done for the day." Hisoka tucked the ball under his arm. "Go home. Find your own way; I'm not giving you a ride today."

"Mm, okay." Gon nodded as if he didn't mind. If it were Killua, Killua would have badgered him until Hisoka was tempted to strangle him.

Three days. Gon had three days, and Hisoka had four until his match with Kastro and his blasted shoulder still hurt like a bitch. And then he'd be free of this kid except for when he hung around Illumi's which was always, so not really. Not that Hisoka minded exactly, because Gon was intriguing as hell, but he'd rather be surprised by Gon than train him himself. Plus he was in no position to be any kind of mentor.

Gon left, and Hisoka showered. Illumi had therapy again, which meant Hisoka definitely wanted to stop by the Zoldyck lair and see the aftermath of that implosion. It was so intriguing to Hisoka that Illumi would go so far for his siblings. He'd always said he would, of course, but deep down Hisoka knew Illumi was just like him and everything he did was for himself, but concealed, unlike the flagrant selfishness by which Hisoka unabashedly operated.

"Yo, Idiot," said Machi's voice when Hisoka left the locker room.

He spun around. "Hoping to get a glimpse?"

"I'd sooner gouge my own eyes out, you useless clown." She crossed her arms, prying herself off the wall. "But I thought you might need someone to warn you."

"Oh?" Was Chrollo making his next move? This could be very—

Machi waved her tablet around in his face. "I figured you wouldn't have noticed, but I thought you might need to—"

Hisoka guffawed. "If Chrollo thinks he can use that pathetic news site to—"

"This is the last time I ever try to help you," Machi snapped. "You're an ungrateful, stupid toddler of a man—"

Hisoka's gaze caught on the image in the article. He grabbed her tablet.

"Hey!"

It was Silva. Talking to Hisoka. He arched his eyebrows. "Are these the levels of pathetic Chrollo is sinking to?"

"Insult him again and I'll break your kneecaps."

He held the tablet up in the air, way higher than Machi could reach. "I'll break your tablet."

She refused to jump for it, crossing her arms and scowling at him like an indignant piece of cotton candy.

"What's the point of this?" Hisoka asked. "Spreading the idea I'm collaborating with Silva and Kikyo against Illumi?"

"I think it's more likely it looks like Illumi's working through you."

Hisoka rolled his eyes and handed her tablet back to her. "Gon was there. Nothing like that happened." Though it would certainly be interesting to see Illumi's reaction.

"Sure, but that's just a threat. You don't remember what happened when you fought Chrollo, do you?"

"No, because it wasn't worth remembering."

"You are just a sore loser."

"I didn't lose. He—"

Machi threw her hands up in the air. "Well, whatever. You said some things, Hisoka. That Chrollo could definitely get a story out of if he wanted to but he'd rather not just yet. Because he's being patient with you—"

"I doubt it." Hisoka pushed past her.

"You don't remember, so how would you know?" Machi hollered. "You're a goddamn idiot!"

He flipped her off. The moment he jumped into his car, slamming the door, he cussed. Chrollo wouldn't win. He couldn't win. His shoulder burned and Hisoka gritted his teeth, twisting the keys in the ignition so hard the metal dug into his skin. The shithead thought he was entitled to know everything, did he? Well, he wasn't. Prick.

Why did he have to stir up everything? His shoulder was still fucked up but he would still win. He would. He was trying to fuck things up for Illumi but Illumi was smarter than that and Chrollo was a dumbass if he thought everyone was like him and could be upset so easily.

Fuck. He'd asked Illumi to help Chrollo. Illumi might not want to now.

Hisoka stopped and bought a case of beer. He was going to need it tonight.

He remembered the first time he met Chrollo Lucilfer by following this ridiculous theater major named Omikage to the secret meeting. Everyone on campus had been wondering who was publishing the news about which professors were sleeping with their students and which were accepting bribes and how the board conspired to force one of them to resign and covered up for another one. It took Hisoka less than three days to figure it out once he became intrigued, which was only because of his crashing the campus grading program and because he was curious to see whether Chrollo would report it and if he would get caught then, and if so, if they could prove it. Chrollo didn't, he didn't, and they wouldn't have been able to, but instead of seeing the dick school dean's frustrated face when Hisoka beat any charges, he decided he would rather see Chrollo's face when Hisoka ruined his life. Also Machi was hot, but he was never getting anywhere with her.

He worked with Chrollo for a bit, and then he got bored and scrambled their entire system, plus outed Chrollo to the school. Chrollo beat the charges and laughed about it. A kid from Meteor City, of course the school wasn't thrilled about having him there any more than they were thrilled to have Hisoka. But Chrollo used that to his advantage, writing sob stories for any personal essays and using them to get into school, or so he said. Hisoka preferred to keep any of that shit smothered.

His phone rang. Kurta. "Yes?"

"I saw," said Kurapika.

Don't give me your pity.

I am not like you. I am not like you at all. I am me. His fingers pressed the star on his cheek.

"Are you gonna use the information I gave you?" asked Kurapika. "Because if you are, using it now might be a good idea."

"I'm not letting Chrollo push me around," Hisoka purred. "He's not worth it. I'll do things when I want." Maybe it'd be fun to see how much Chrollo could push him. So long as Hisoka won in the end. And he would. He had to. Losing wasn't fun. Losing was what everyone else did.

"Fine then." Kurapika hung up.

He went in the front door of the Zoldyck house this time. That would surely surprise Illumi, who was probably tapping his foot waiting in the bedroom for him.

"Hey," said Kalluto, dashing up the stairs. Oh right. That kid hung around Chrollo for whatever reason.

"Clown!" Alluka threw herself at him. "Guess what? Today the mean boy called me a boy again so I used an uppercut like Killua showed me you did back when you boxed too so I used that and he fell and he was crying and he didn't report it because he was embarrassed." She clasped her hands.

See, Chrollo? I win. "I'm glad," Hisoka said, patting her head.

"Hey," said Killua, walking into the room. "Illumi's upstairs. Milluki, you're on dinner duty tonight!" he hollered.

Milluki groaned.

Great, canned soup for dinner.

Hisoka left the beer in the fridge first and walked into Illumi's room. Where he crossed his arms, waiting.

"Do you need to talk to Gon to hear what happened?" Hisoka asked.

"I already did. Killua called him." Illumi leaned back. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

Hisoka shrugged. "I'd rather see your reaction if you found out, and you didn't need to know. I told that dick off, if you were curious."

"I know." Illumi exhaled. "It's fine."

Hisoka rolled his eyes. "Well, now you're just saying that. Old habits die hard, eh, puppet?"

"Why would I be mad? I have no reason to be. It's logical that—"

"Oh, who gives a damn about should have and what you think you're supposed to feel? Just let yourself feel what you feel, Illumi. That's what I do." Hisoka ran his hand over his hair. He would die to see that. An Illumi actually passionate about something. But then, that might not be Illumi.

Illumi scowled. "I have responsibilities."

"Ah, shit." Hisoka smirked. "Did therapy suck again?"

"Actually, Dr. Yorkshire says you're good for me, which is precisely why I was contemplating breaking up with you."

Hisoka laughed. Illumi smiled. Illumi wasn't a bad joker.

"I decided I didn't want to," Illumi said.

Oh, so you were serious. Hisoka laughed again. He leaned against the closet door, Illumi sitting on the bed across from him.

"Chrollo's a prick, and I'm not helping him anymore," Illumi said, folding his arms. "He's helping my parents' case by stirring up these kinds of—"

"You have to!" Hisoka grabbed Illumi's arms. "I want to—have all the odds stacked against me—and still win. Still beat that arrogant bastard."

"If the odds aren't stacked against you is it somehow less a victory? Isn't it the same result?"

"Yes," Hisoka said. "I've made up my mind."

"Aren't you always changing your mind?"

"Machi said he has more articles planned if I don't stop," Hisoka said. "So I will stop him."

Illumi stiffened. "Articles about what?"

"Not you."

Illumi arched his eyebrows. God, they were so overplucked. "We should have made sure he didn't beat the charges in college. He could have been thrown out."

"That wouldn't have stopped him."

"No, but at least he'd know." Illumi tilted his head back. "We make a decent team."

Hisoka wasn't sure what to say to that. He operated alone. Even in college. "Mm."

"If you want all the odds against you," said Illumi, tossing his hair. Hisoka eyed it appreciatively. "Why don't you break your own bones then?"

"I've dealt with enough broken bones."

Illumi rose. "Why don't you dislocate your other shoulder? I'm sure it'd give Kastro a shock when you still show up to fight with two dislocated shoulders. And I'm sure Chrollo would love to report on it. I could do it for you." He gripped Hisoka's shoulder, fingers digging into skin.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" His face was centimeters from Illumi's.

"You could paralyze yourself," said Illumi. "Blind yourself. Or I could, and you'd—"

"You'd love it," said Hisoka. "Leaving me on the streets to die."

Illumi pressed his fingers into Hisoka's back. "I'd actually just get Kalluto and Alluka to paint your face in makeup, but I don't think you'd mind."

He snorted. "So I'd still be here? An invalid defeated by his supposed partner?"

"Yes," said Illumi, as if it was obvious. "But I couldn't then let myself strangle you, so—"

Hisoka dove in, capturing Illumi's words with his mouth. Illumi groaned. He tightened his grip on Hisoka's shoulders—both shoulders. Hisoka winced, and Illumi let the injured one go. He pushed Hisoka back against the wall. Hisoka liked this. This was a new spice for Illumi, taking control, the exact aroma that attracted Hisoka to Illumi back in their college days. He was strong. Confident. Self-assured.

And if I was weak, you'd still keep me around to mock me? If I was broken?

Hisoka pushed back against Illumi, teeth clacking against his. He tasted blood in Illumi's mouth. Illumi tumbled backwards onto the bed and dug his hands into Hisoka's back. He kneed him in the abdomen, forcing him to turn over so Illumi was over him now, lips still pressing into Hisoka's, harder and harder and harder.

You just want to control me.

Maybe I don't mind right now.

Illumi's fingers tore through his hair, yanking at it. His scalp stung. "You look better with your hair down."

"That's rich coming from you."

Illumi snorted. He pulled Hisoka's shirt off. His mouth found his bruised shoulder, kissing. Gently. That was new.

What are you doing?

Hisoka sat up, yanking Illumi's shirt open. He ran his hands down Illumi's sculpted abs, comparable only to his own. He grunted as Illumi pushed him back, pushed him down, pinning his wrists above his head.

"You want me to listen to what I feel and what I want," said Illumi. "I'm going to help you, not Chrollo, you idiot clown."

"Illumi, it's not fair to argue this right now," Hisoka panted. His body was straining as he looked up at Illumi.

"You never fight fair." Illumi fumbled to grab the condoms he kept in his drawer. He paused. "Can I?"

"If you don't pause again," Hisoka snapped.

Illumi dove down and kissed him, wet, heavy, panting. He pulled Hisoka's pants down to his knees, and his own. Hisoka thrust his head back when Illumi started. He'd always wanted to see this, see what Illumi's face would be like when he was in control of sex.

His face looked the exact same as the other times they'd fucked, despite the different angle. His lips curved up in a smile. Hisoka grunted his name, determined to leave his mark on Illumi's skin.

He pulled Illumi close, an arm around his waist, when they both started shaking. His shoulder throbbed and he didn't care.

Milluki grumpily yelled about dinner being ready and they both scrambled into clothes, Hisoka leaving his hair mussed. Illumi rolled his eyes.

"You know," Hisoka said later, when everyone except Milluki had gone to sleep. "Something you said earlier is really begging the question: have Kalluto and Alluka painted your face with makeup?"

Illumi paused, a hairbrush in his grip. "I decline to answer." He went back to brushing with long, smooth strokes.

"There are truly no limits to what you would do to make it up to your siblings, would you?"

"I'm still trying to figure out what I have to make up for and what I don't. Dr. Yorkshire says it's pointless though." Illumi set the brush down carefully, arranging it so that it lined up perfectly with the edge of the dresser.

"I demand pictures."

"That's a limit I would not cross."

"We're over then. I'm breaking up with you."

Illumi snorted. He lied down next to Hisoka.

"What did the good doctor say today?" Hisoka asked, flicking off the light. "Since you seemed not pissy for once."

"Hm." Illumi was quiet for a moment. "It was a session with just me, for one, and she said you were good because you don't live up to expectations and I always have—well, my parents, anyways."

"On the contrary. I like shattering people's expectations," Hisoka said.

Illumi turned to him, a strand of onyx hair covering his eye. "What do you like about it?"

"It makes life exciting."

"Was your life so boring before?"

Hisoka stiffened. "Where is this going?"

"What does Chrollo have on you?" Illumi sat up. "I'll make him pay. I'll—"

What am I to you? Just your newest obsession, a replacement for your parents and Killua? Hisoka opened his mouth, but he didn't launch that barb. He'd save it for later. "I genuinely have no idea. I can't remember the fight." And just thinking about it made dinner sour in his stomach.

"Okay." Illumi wasn't happy. Hisoka couldn't decide if he ought to bolt or continue to see how long Illumi would let him stay if he kept dodging all of these arrows.

"We should do that again," Hisoka said, changing the subject. "You and me—mix it up—"

"Am I boring for you?"

"No." Not at all. Even though Illumi was clearly far less experienced than Hisoka. "I'm still fucking you after a few months, Illumi. I really wouldn't stick around if you were." That would hurt Illumi. Hisoka bit his lip. He wouldn't stick around, would he?

"How long do these usually last for you?"

"I don't know." Hisoka craned his neck back. "How many people have you been with, Illumi?"

"Huh?"

"I remember that conversation we had with Chrollo that time. You said you'd fucked people for work. How many times?"

"Ah. Just three. Two women, one man. One of the women and the man were attractive." Illumi sighed. "All of them came around, and the business deal was made. So it worked out fine."

"Did you like it with any of them?"

"Are you asking me if you are the best sex I've ever had?" Derision coated Illumi's words. "You're truly pathetic."

"I still want an answer." If the lights were on Hisoka felt certain Illumi's face would be either blood red or pale white and he was loving it.

"I never particularly looked forward to it until you."

Hisoka held his hand up, flicking his nails as he aimed his fingers at the dark ceiling. "I'll take that as a yes." He waited. "Don't you have something to ask me?"

"You basically gave me your answer already."

Hisoka scowled.

"How many for you, then?" Illumi asked. "This is your chance to brag."

"Hundreds." Hisoka smirked. "Only a few memorable, though." He exhaled.

"Have you ever been tested?" Illumi asked.

"Whoa." Hisoka sat up. "First of all, we've used condoms. Second of all, yes, frequently, thank you for worrying for my health."

"I was just saying we could do away with condoms in that case."

Does that mean you think we're monogamous? You have to know this is give and take, right? Not that he'd really thought about it that way before. Or considered fucking anyone else. Being with Illumi made him... it was fun.

I guess we are.

Well, there was a first time for everything. It wasn't a terrible hat to try on.

"It was my idea," Illumi said. "To use sex to get what I wanted. Starting on my internship when I was nineteen."

"Please tell me none of them were ever our professors or—"

"No!" Illumi sounded offended.

"Oh thank God." Hisoka snorted.

"How old were you?" Illumi asked.

"Hm?" Hisoka lay back down, crossing his arms.

"Your first time. Were you even in high school yet?"

Hisoka slid his eyes in Illumi's direction. "If I said no, what would you think?" His tone was light.

Illumi's gaze bore into him. "How old were you?"

"I don't really think about it very much." Hisoka did not want to discuss the past. At all.

Illumi's voice sounded restrained when he spoke. "How—"

"Let's play a game," Hisoka said, sitting up and flicking on the light. Illumi yelped, covering his eyes. "Cards. War, or something."

Illumi sat up too. "Okay."

Illumi won every round, and Hisoka found he didn't mind.