Alina
"Alina it's me, may I come in?" her father asked from the hallway between soft rappings on her door.
"It's unlocked," she called out from her bed, setting the book on advanced ancient runes aside on her nightstand. Her father opened the door to her bedroom cautiously, scared that she might run away like a startled deer if he moved too quickly. "You don't have to look so scared and worried about me dad. I told you and mom a hundred times that I'm fine now. Being home for a few days really helped."
"But I am scared and worried about you Alina."
"Why, though? I told you that I am fine!"
"You've said you are fine so many times that you don't even know what the word means anymore Alina. I am your father and I am always scared and worried about you. I wouldn't be a good father if I didn't worry. Here," he handed her a piece of parchment. "Your reply from Dumbledore." She took the letter from him and looked it over.
Dear Miss Alina Black,
While I was most saddened to hear that you have been struggling at Durmstrang and no longer wish to attend the remainder of this school year there, I of course will accept your wish to return to Hogwarts. I am certain that the professors will be most happy to have you back into their classrooms and that the school will be a much warmer place with you there once again. The health and wellbeing of our students is of most importance to those of us at Hogwarts and we want what is best for our students; so if there is anything else you need please do not hesitate to ask. We look forward to seeing you this coming week and I will make sure personally that all of your things will be moved back to your old room awaiting your arrival.
I am, yours most sincerely,
Albus Dumbledore
"You really sure you don't want to go back to Durmstrang and be with your friends?" her father asked her as she finished reading Dumbledore's letter over, his face still full of worry.
"I'm sure. I just need a breather from everything and everyone. Just some time to focus on myself for a little while, until my head gets back on straight and everything."
"Well then, your mother and I will of course support your decision." He paused briefly and let his eyes wander around her room. It was obvious looking at him that he still had something on his mind and was struggling to say it. When his eyes met hers he smiled again and spoke. "We have a few minutes until we need to leave for your appointment so would you mind humoring your old man for a little while?"
"Of course!" she smiled and motioned for him to sit down next to her. Her father walked around her bed and plopped down on the other side of her and made himself comfy.
"You know by the time I was your age and year at Hogwarts I think my father had only come into my room maybe once growing up. And only that time because he was trying to remove the posters on my wall that he didn't like."
"Really?" she interjected. Her father rarely ever told stories about his family; but the few times he did always explained a lot about why her father was the man he was today.
"Really."
"Well knowing you they probably were very inappropriate posters," she laughed. She had heard the stories from uncle James about her father's tastes in room decorating at Hogwarts.
"Yes, yes, they probably were," her father smiled along with her. "Growing up my parents had a very different idea about what a 'family' was supposed to be than most people do. Family to them was all about obedience to your parents, the honor of your family name, the titles your name gave you, and continuing old family traditions. The Black family name was held above all else, and was even more important than the Black family members themselves. We never celebrated holidays together, there was no such thing as birthday parties, and asking one of them for help when I needed it was never an option. My parents used to tell me that Blacks were strong and needing help from others was a sign of weakness that would not be tolerated.
"For a long time I struggled with things. I had no one to talk to when life got hard and no one that was willing to listen to any of my problems. I only had myself. When life got dark all I had to keep me company was the darkness shrouded around me, and often times it drowned me. From the time I was born, my life was on a downhill trajectory and I have no doubts in my mind that had it not been for James, Remus, and Lily that I would not be laying here today with one of my perfect daughters.
"Even when we all became close friends it took a long time before I ever actually confided in them. I had been raised with the message of 'trust no one' practically embedded into my thick skull. When I finally did confide in my friends though, it felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders and that I was truly smiling for the first time.
"My problems became their problems and theirs' mine. Carrying that load together was a lot easier than holding the weight all on my own. Of course I still had some rough patches in life, everyone does. There were many a moments were the darkness crept closer towards me again, but everytime it did I knew I wasn't facing it alone.
"When I married your mother I made a promise that I would never let Daphne feel like I did growing up. When you were born I made that same promise again. That's why holidays and birthdays are so important to me and that's why I'm annoying you so much right now and hate leaving you alone when I know you are down in your own darkness. I hold my family above all else and nothing is more important to me than my family's happiness and wellbeing.
"My point with all of my ramblings Alina is that you have a family here for you. And not only that but you also have three friends, and three really good ones at that, that I know care about you. Never in your life have I seen you smile as much as the time you did when you told your mother and I about your new friends for the first time. I honestly to this day get a little jealous of how excited you look every time you open one of their letters over the holidays.
"You don't have to talk to your old man or your mother, I know sometimes we are the last people in the world you want to open up to. And I'm not saying you even have to talk to your friends. But please just know that I'm not the only one who loves you and is worried about you. And please remember that if the pressure and weight of the world gets too much to carry alone that your mother, me, and your friends are here to help carry the load with you."
Even if she had tried harder to hold back the tear that was slowing cascading down her cheek she had no doubts that she would have been unable to stop it. Nothing broke her heart more than seeing her father emotional like this. He was her pillar in life and seeing him cracked and shaken broke her quicker than anything else could. Knowing that she was the source of his pain and worries only broke her more.
"Thanks dad. I'm sorry that I make you worry sometimes," she wiped the warm tear from her cheek and pulled her father into a hug. "You are a very good dad, sometimes too good," she laughed.
"Thank you Alina," he replied, his voice full of cracks.
"And I don't want you to worry about me," she paused for a second, taking a deep breath into her lungs before forcing the next words out, "so I will talk to you, but only if you promise not to tell anyone!" she insisted.
"I promise I won't tell anyone Alina. What about your mother though? She is just as worried as I am."
"Well mom is fine, but certainly not Daphne, and no one at the school; not even my friends!"
"I can do that," he smiled at her.
"Okay, well. . ." she collected herself for a brief moment, trying to figure out a place to start and how exactly to explain things. Even she really didn't know how to make sense sometimes of all the pieces of the neverending puzzle in her head. "I love my friend Marik and I have been in love with him ever since my first year at Hogwarts," she started to say.
"Well I knew that. So has everything that has been going on with you been because of trouble with you two then?" her father interjected.
"You knew? How?" she blurted. She had only ever told Hermione and Harry that she loved Marik and they didn't even know that she still loved him.
"Of course I knew! Parents know everything," he laughed.
"Ohh. . . well then. . ." she mumbled, a little caught off guard.
"So answer my question, are your current troubles because of something going on between you and him?"
"No, well yes, but also no. Just let me explain, it's hard to say."
"Okay, tell me. I won't interrupt again."
"Before I met Marik I was alone, kind of like you were before you met Uncle James, Uncle Remus, and Aunt Lily. I had no friends my age and I felt like the only people who knew I even existed at Hogwarts were Daphne and Tom Riddle, and neither one of them actually really wanted to be my friend. I tried to make friends with other people in my house and my year, but I never really succeeded. Because of Tom Riddle, I couldn't control myself sometimes and I pushed people away from me and practically ruined my chance of ever making a friend at Hogwarts.
"Because of that I got more and more depressed the further and further into the school year I got. I was literally dying and I had no one there to help me as I slowly drowned. When I wasn't able to sleep because of Tom Riddle or didn't want to sleep because of the nightmares I started going to the Great Lake at nights to stare out into the water. I would just sit out there in the light of the moon looking at my reflection in the water for hours. I had no one else at Hogwarts to talk to so in desperation I started talking to my reflection, blaming her for all of the problems in my life. As things got worse I slowly began to not even recognize the girl looking back at me in the water and deep down I seriously believed she was a different person than I.
"That was how alone I was. That was how bad my life had become. Each night I sat by the lake I drowned a little more in the water and just when I ran out of breath Marik saved me. Marik reached out into that black, silent water and lifted me out. He gave me his air to breath. I may not have known it at the time but I fell in love with Marik that night; and I will eternally be grateful to him for pulling me out of the water and for giving me a reason to breath.
"That night by the lake I gave Marik every reason to hate me. We had never met before, he had no reason to help me, especially after I attacked him. Marik had a thousand reasons to hate me and yet he still came to my rescue again in the Chamber of Secrets. The same can be said for Harry and Hermione. I was never close to Harry growing up. We never bonded or even hung out unless we had too. I even used to think he was kind of weird. By the time I was taken into the Chamber in my first year I had only spoken once to Hermione and I would honestly have been surprised if she had even remembered my name.
"Like you said, I know I have great, amazing, incredible friends. Even with every reason to hate me Marik risked his life and saved me in the Chamber. Even when I was the one to blame for almost killing their best friend Harry and Hermione didn't hate me; instead, they all welcomed me into their circle with open arms. Even with their own injuries, problems, and school work to take care of they each set aside time to help me catch up on the lessons I missed while possessed and even helped me to get ahead. And even better than all of that they each asked me to be their friend.
"Just as you said in your story it honestly felt like the largest of weights had been lifted of my shoulders because of Marik, Hermione, and Harry. For the first time in my life I had friends. Friends I could talk to, laugh with, and struggle through life with. The remainder of that year was one of the greatest times of my life and I wished to myself a number of nights that things would never change. That life could always be this good.
"Things had to change though. It was painfully clear to almost everyone except me and Marik at the time that I was madly in love with him. Being his friend wasn't enough for me. I wanted to be his best friend. I wanted to be his everything. I wanted to be to him everything that he was to me.
"So I worked up the courage over the summer and decided that in my second year I would confess to him how I truly felt. I tried a few times, but something always seemed to come up and derail me before I could. In Hogsmeade, Bellatrix showed up and ruined our date. Then over the holidays Marik parent's were murdered and the moment obviously didn't feel right to tell him then, and then the attack on Hogwarts happened.
"When me and Harry found out the school was being attacked the very first image that came to my head was a picture of Marik. I immediately set out looking for him. I searched for what felt like forever and when I found him I was so relieved to see him alive. For a brief second I watched him dueling against Bellatrix and this time I wanted to be the one to save him; to be the one who pulled him out of the dark waters he was drowning in. He probably didn't even need my help, but I promised myself that I would stay by his side and protect him until the attacks were over. I owed him that much.
"When the attack ended me and Marik shared a moment, probably the greatest moment of my life. He truly opened up to me for the first time and he cried in my arms. The man who had saved me and had always looked to be one of the strongest, most unshakable wizard in my eyes cried in my arms and I consoled him. I was there for him that night just as he had been there for me before by the Great Lake. When the crying stopped we kissed. At that moment, the second our lips touched, I knew for sure that I was not wrong; Marik was the love of my life.
"I was ready for things to be like that for an eternity and I was already beginning to get used to the idea of kissing Marik, sorry dad," she apologized, sure that the idea of his daughter kissing someone probably wasn't something he wanted to hear but he just smiled and encouraged her to continue on with her story.
"I was ready for things to continue on like that moment for an eternity, but in all the bliss someone else cried out Marik's name. I didn't know it before that night but Marik was dating Luna. He had really only kissed me out of a moment of weakness, probably just because I was there when he broke down. Luna ran up to Marik and kissed him, just like he had been kissing me seconds before. My heart broke then and everything became too much for me to handle.
"I ran back into the castle to Harry and Hermione and broke down in front of the two of them. That night I hated Marik and I hated Luna. Hated him for giving me life and then stealing it away from me. Hated Luna for having what I wanted and thought should be mine."
"The next morning I woke up and took some time to think about things. As I laid there in my bed I knew that I wanted to be the bigger person. Marik had saved my life and been my best friend ever since. He had been there for me every waking moment that I needed him. Even if I was jealous of Luna and it killed me to see them together I wanted to be there for him if he ever needed someone again. I owed him that much.
"So I promised myself that I would be there for him and let all the weight on my shoulders slide off of my skin. I put up with seeing them together and made sure that Marik knew I was there for him if he ever needed anything. Over the rest of the school year I could see that the two of them were growing much closer and it became more painful for me to watch, but still I tried to be the better person and continue to be his best friend.
"Over the summer I met Dedrick. Dedrick was funny and smart and when I met him he made me feel like I had found something I had been missing. We started talking and became closer and when he asked me out I found myself saying yes without hesitation. It only took a few weeks of being with Dedrick for me to realise the reasons why I liked him, and what that, 'something', I thought I had found really was. Dedrick was just my replacement for Marik. He was funny, sarcastic, smart, gifted, and confident. All qualities that I loved about Marik, only deep down I knew that I liked those qualities in Marik more than I did in Dedrick.
"I stayed with Dedrick though. I thought it would be good for me to date someone and focus on myself a little this year. Because of this I made the decision early on that I would continue to be with Dedrick and just see where it took me. The day I made that decision though I found out that Luna had broken up with Marik. The man I loved was single and available but I once again could not be with him.
"I thought that if me and Dedrick didn't work out that Marik would still be available. I even considered breaking up with Dedrick then and there so that I would be available for Marik. In the blink of an eye though he was all of the sudden dating Fleur and once again out of my reach. Fleur is literally the definition of perfection and is everything in a women that I am not. She is tall, blonde, sexy, beautiful, intelligent, a Triwizard Champion, and even Marik's age too. From the moment they started dating I could tell instantly that Marik liked Fleur a whole lot more than he ever liked Luna and that hurt me even more than it ever had before.
"The entire time with Luna I had tried to be the better person. I had tried my best to be there for Marik and continue to be his best friend. I couldn't do it again with Fleur though, it hurt too much and I couldn't put myself through that pain again.
"So I started putting some space between myself and Marik, only spending time with him if I had to or if everyone was there in the same room. As the tournament kicked off and the year went on though my time with Harry and Hermione grew shorter and shorter too. They had to focus on the tournament and to do that they had to be with Marik.
"Slowly because of Fleur, Marik, and the tournament I started spending a lot more time alone. Over the last two months I can count the number of hours I spent with my friends on two hands. I understand what they are doing and I can't blame them or be mad at them for it either, I too would be focusing on the tournament more than anything else had I been in their place. And I understand that me being alone isn't anyone's fault except my own.
"Even though I understood these things that still didn't help me out much. I still woke up everyday in pain and still felt almost as alone as I had back in my first year at Hogwarts. When the nightmares started things only got worse for me.
"On top of everything else going on, not being able to sleep and having dreams where you see yourself killing your best friends over and over again was obviously a little too much for me to handle. I ended up cutting myself off from everyone even more than usual, even Dedrick. I broke up with him and started barely ever leaving my room.
"When I couldn't sleep I read and when I did sleep it wasn't for long. I kept thinking that tomorrow things would be better, that tomorrow the nightmares would stop, the tournament would be over, and things would return to how I loved them. The nightmares didn't stop though and as you know I ended up collapsing from exhaustion.
"So what I'm trying to say with all of this is that a lot has been going on and a lot of things have been slowly building me up to my breaking point. My problems today have been things that I have let pile on me for a while and bring me down. My relationship with Marik, my inability to be with my best friend like old times, and my separating myself from Harry and Hermione all have driven me to the edge. The lack of sleep and the nightmares just pushed everything over that edge.
"I know you said I have people to talk to and I know my friends would have listened to me if I would have just spoken up and said something. And I know they are worried about me now after I blew up on them in the hospital wing. I just feel that right right now I need to travel on my own path for a little while and that I need to work on building my own life up a little more. I just don't want to have to rely on them for everything and that's why I want to go back to Hogwarts.
"Marik saved my life and I used him as a crutch to save me everytime things in my life got rough. I do the same thing with Harry and Hermione. Without me, Hermione, and Harry, Marik still has Fleur, the Triwizards Tournament, and his position as Dueling Master for his year. Without me and Marik, Harry has Hermione, the tournament, and all of the incredibly difficult magic he is researching. Hermione has Harry, the tournament, she has become really good friends with Fleur, and she is being asked to publish her potions research in a different magazine it seems like every week.
"My entire life is based around my friendships with them and without them I feel that I have nothing. Sure I'm a great student but besides getting great friends I haven't really achieved anything myself. I want to take the rest of this year at Hogwarts to redefine who I am and who I want to be. I want to create a solid foundation for myself so that when I have a dark day I know that I am strong enough to survive it. I want to achieve some things on my own. I know I probably sound mental and that you probably don't agree with my way of thinking but I think that it is the best thing I can do for myself right now."
"I think you are right," her father replied.
"What? You do?" she blurted out, a little caught off-guard by his words. She had not expected him to agree with her thinking.
"Yes, I do. I don't think you should continue to cut yourself off from your friends but I think spending a little time to focus on yourself is a good idea. As your father I know I'm biased and think that everything you do is the greatest of achievements but if you feel you want to achieve more on your own as your father I can only be proud of you for wanting more out of life and yourself.
"You are an amazing, talented, intelligent person who has the potential to change the world. I will stand by your side and support you in whatever it is you want to do. I want what is best for my daughter and if you are certain that this is what is best for you than I stand behind you. I just want my daughter to be happy. But Alina you must promise me something." Her father's face grew serious.
"What is that?" she asked.
"That you never let things get like this again. I know you will have some bad days and some bad weeks but never again let it go on for this long. Promise me?"
"I promise dad." she smiled and pulled him into another hug. A few more warm tears cascaded down her cheeks and dripped onto the shoulder of her father's sweater. For a while she stayed in his arms, each second of hugging him made her feel a little better.
"So what are you going to do? What does the new and improved Alina 'two-point-o' want to do?" he asked her as they broke apart from the hug.
"Well I don't really know a lot of what I want to do, I was hoping I could figure most of that out at Hogwarts. I do know a few things though that I want to work on."
"And what are those?"
"Well there is no summer dueling tournament this summer so I want to spend this free time getting ready for the next one. Winning the tournament my first two years was one of proudest moments and I want to get back to that feeling. Even though I ended up dating him I hated losing to Dedrick this summer. I love dueling and practicing my spellwork, so I want to spend a lot of time working on my dueling and spell knowledge.
"I also really want to finish my animagus ritual. I'm so close to getting to be able to add my final layer and If I can get that finished this year I will have so much more free time to work on other things like more of my white-light spell creations magic or other projects. I've also been getting really good at ancient runes this year too so maybe I will try to do something with it." Her mind was racing with ideas of things she wanted to start working on.
"It sounds like you have a lot of working to do then."
"Yeah, I really do," she smiled.
"Well I think pushing yourself with your school work and magic is a great way to do things, it's the way your mother always did things when she was at Hogwarts. I want you to try and do two more things for me to, okay?"
"What?"
"You said that you ruined any chance of ever making friends at Hogwarts in your first year. I don't think that is true. People make mistakes and people grow up. I think that if you show your peers and classmates that you have changed they will welcome you into their circles just like your friends now did. I want you to accomplish everything you are talking about but I also want you have good people around you.
"Friendship is the greatest bit of magic the world will ever know. I want you to try to make some new friends at Hogwarts. That way their are always those who can give you help when you need it nearby. Can you do that for me?"
"I really don't know if anyone else there would even want to be my friend dad. But I guess I can try," she sighed.
"Thank you Alina."
"What was the second thing? You said you had two things you want me to try and do?" she asked him.
"I want you to be happy. Now come on, it's time for your appointment," her father said with a smile and got up from her bed, extending her a hand. She took his hand and pulled herself up.
"I will dad, I promise. Thanks for letting me talk to you, I feel much better now, really."
"Of course, anything for my girl."
She followed her dad down to the living room feeling a lot better than she had before. She had not planned on really ever talking to someone about everything going on in her head like she just had but she was glad that she had. Just like her dad had said, it really did feel like a massive amount of weight was lifted off her shoulders.
She was anxious now to get to work. She was serious about what she had said to her father and truly meant to redefine who she was, figure out who she really wanted to be, and achieve something of her own, something that she could be proud of. Things wouldn't be easy though, they often never were. She would have to stay true to herself if any change was to come out of this.
"Are we ready?" her mother asked as she and her father made their way into the living room.
"I believe we are," her father answered and made his way over to the fireplace. "Lead the way Alina." He handed her the jar of floo powder. She took a handful and stepped into the fireplace.
"St. Mungos!" she shouted and immediately was off. The familiar feeling of being stretched, twisted, and bended through the floo's magic took hold of her body and within a few seconds she could see her destination. She focused on her feet and just managed to make a graceful landing on the hard tile floor of St. Mungo's Wizarding Hospital, soon after both of her parents made their entrance.
"Which way?" she asked her parents as they dusted their jackets off.
"Were going to Wing C, we will be meeting with Dr. Murino again in room forty-seven," her mother answered and led them all through the hospital.
Even on a Wednesday morning the hospital was packed to the brim with patients, many of which looked to be very ill or under the effects of an odd spell. She hated being in hospitals. She was always terrified they wouldn't let her out. Luckily she was familiar with Dr. Murino and had spent a great deal of time with him during her first year at Hogwarts while she recovered from the possession so she knew she could at least trust him to let her leave here today.
The walk to Wing C was a short one, only made longer by the occasional slow patient waddling down the hallway in the way of their path. They all entered their patient room and waited patiently for the doctor to arrive. Being as anxious as she was to set forth operation: Alina 2.0 she cursed herself for not thinking to bring one of her books with her to read as they waited. Thankfully Dr. Murnio made his entrance after only a few minutes.
"Miss Black It's good to see you again. How are you doing today?" Dr. Murino asked her. After shaking her parents hands he quickly proceeded to start to do a standard examination of her.
"Better. I slept nine hours last night. I Probably could have slept longer but my mother knocked over a lamp in the hallway this morning and woke everyone in the house up." She laughed a little as her mother blushed and her father giggled. As talented as a witch as her mother was she had always been quite clumsy.
"I'm happy to hear that. How about dreams, did we have any?"
"Nope, at least none that I can remember. It felt like I just slept like a log," she answered honestly.
"Good, good. Now I know the taste of the dreamless sleep potion is not the best but I promise that you will get used to it after awhile okay?
" Okay, it wasn't that bad anyways," she lied.
"So besides just wanting you to come here to discuss if the potion was working or not I wanted to go over with your tests results and our theories with everyone."
"Your theories? I'm sorry if I sound rude but medically speaking theories does not sound too reassuring to me," her mother bluntly interjected.
"You are not being rude at all Miss Black and trust me when I say that many other doctors and myself here at St. Mungo's are looking into your daughter's situation. I even have a sleep specialist flooing in from Poland later this week to look over Alina's scans with me.
"Now, looking over your scans Alina physically there is nothing out of the ordinary. The full body and brain scan we did came back with zero results. The interview, conversations, and tests you had with our on site physciatrist also did not reveal anything that stood out, other than that you may just have overworked yourself too much at school."
"Told you," her father quipped. She just stook out her tongue at him. Everyone but Ron Weasley basically overworked themselves at Hogwarts, she was certainly not the minority there.
"The full magical scan we did however, did give us some things that stood out. Right now your body is housing a minute amount of foreign magic. It was such a small amount that we almost missed it."
"Foreign magic? What does that mean?" she asked, unsure of how to take in what Dr. Murino was saying.
"Unfortunately this is where most of what we know just becomes theories. Foreign magic in the body is something we are familiar with. Many spells like the imperius curse or confundus leave traces of foreign magic in their targets body. Usually though those traces of magic fade away after time though because the host's magic kills it off.
"When you came to St. Mungo's back in your first year your full magic scans revealed that you had an extreme level of foreign magic residing in your body and that your body and magic had been fighting against that foreign magic for a long period of time. Just like with the other cases of foreign magic after we treated you and you rested the foreign magic in your body disappeared.
"This is only a theory but we believe that the small foreign magic in your body is the same foreign magic from before and that it somehow survived all this time."
"You mean, you think a small amount of Voldemort's magic is still in me?" she asked.
"That is our best theory at the moment. Normally we always find foreign magic in the brain area of our scans the foreign magic we found in you however was hidden in your chest, in the small area right behind your heart, which is part of the reason we may have never noticed it before."
"What does it being there mean?" her father asked.
"To be blunt, we have no clue. We don't know how some of the foreign magic has managed to survive for so long or what that means. We also don't know how or why the magic has chosen that specific location. I am extremely confident though that the small foreign magic still in your body Alina is the cause of your nightmares.
"You see, when we are awake our minds, bodies, and magic are on full alert. When we sleep however almost everything shuts down to recharge. It makes sense to those of us trying to solve your puzzle that the foreign magic would be able to flair up and affect you whenever you sleep. When you are awake your magic can hold it back but when you sleep there isn't anything to block it.
"I also am confident that this foreign magic is somehow leftover magic from your first year at Hogwarts. The magic inside your body then was magic fueled with intents to kill for He Who Must Not Be Named so the fact that all of your dreams are centered around death and killing it supports that theory," Dr. Murino explained.
"So how do you get rid of the foreign magic? There is a way to get rid of it, right?" her mother asked.
"Finding a way to remove it or kill it off is our number one priority Mrs. Black. At the moment we are confident that a combination of dreamless sleep potion with magic rejuvenation draught will keep Alina healthy and sleeping until we can find her a better solution. For now Alina you need to be one-hundred-percent transparent with your parents. If you have a single dream, even a good one, feel sick at all, or feel anything that seems off you need to let them know as soon as possible so we can examine it. Any change in the foreign magic could have an affect on you understood?"
"Yes, Dr. Murino," she replied with an added nod of her head.
"Good. I'm sorry that I couldn't bring you all more solid answers but I promise that we are doing everything we can to find an answer. As soon as we do I will let you know."
"Thank you Dr. Murino," her father said, not sounding too happy with the current situation. She could not really blame him.
"Of course. This month's supply of potions is in this case, if you need anything else please don't hesitate to come to me."
"We will, goodbye Dr. Murino." She took the case from him and followed her parents and Dr. Murino out of the room.
She wasn't sure how she was supposed to exactly feel after all of that news, if you could really call a bunch of theories news. The idea of Voldemort's magic being inside her still terrified her. Never again did she want to have to experience what she felt in her first year. Even if it was just a tiny amount, any amount of Voldemort's magic inside you was too much.
She knew Dr. Murino was being honest when he told them that he was working hard to try to find an answer and she was hopeful that he would. His theories made sense to her. Her dreams now were a lot alike the dreams she had back in her first year and it made sense that dreams affected by Voldemort's magic would be centered around killing. She was disappointed there was still a chance in the future the nightmares could resurface but for now at least she would be able to sleep at night which she was extremely grateful about.
They left the patient room and again weaved through the hallways of St. Mungo's towards the floo network. She shouted out her destination as they arrived to St. Mungo's floo network and within a few seconds was back home. Anxious to start getting busy she made a straight path for the stairs and her room.
"Alina, I'm going to start preparing lunch so don't snack up there!" her father shouted as she sprinted up the stairs, skipping two at a time.
"I won't!" she bellowed down the hallway as she ran into her room.
Now how do I want to start. . . she thought to herself as her eyes darted around the room. Her father's words from earlier echoed around in her head as she stood their thinking.
Friendship is the greatest bit of magic the world will ever know.
She made her way over to her desk and took out two pieces of parchment and a quill. Her father was right. Even if she was going to try and be more independent and achieve something on her own having people in your corner was important. She knew if she wanted to accomplish anything on her own she needed a clear conscience and to do that she needed to apologize to her friends first for yelling at them in the hospital wing.
To my greatest friends,
I wanted to apologize to everyone for being so cruel the other day. I know that you all were just worried about me and I am extremely thankful that I have such good friends who will look out for me. I have not been having one of my greatest years this year and a lot of things were weighing me down. Out of a combination of selfishness and stupidity I choose to burden myself down with all of that weight alone and just let it pile on too high. My explosion in the hospital wing was a result of me not being able to keep my composure any longer.
Please don't worry about me though. Being back home and talking with my family has alleviated my pains and brought me back down to earth and I am doing much, much better now. I had some tests done at St. Mungo's for my nightmares and they still don't have exact answers but the good news is the dreamless sleep potions they gave me are amazing! My dad says he has never heard someone snore so loud haha!
I still plan on attending Hogwarts for the remainder of the school year and will be returning there this monday. I will miss you guys so much and I do hate that we won't be able to see each other until end of year presentations. I just need some time to focus on me. This is something that I must do to better myself so I hope that you will understand.
I have three of the most incredible people in the world as my friends. Three people who are so gifted, talented, and intelligent. Three friends who are about to achieve even more greatness by becoming the greatest Triwizard Champions of all time. I want to become great like my friends. I want to achieve something myself like all of you have, so that is why I want to spend a little time by myself this last month of school.
I will be thinking about you guys everyday and will be writing just as much. I hope that you all can forgive me and will understand my reasons for leaving Durmstrang. I will be watching the Triwizards' Tournament's final task still and will accept nothing less than a complete victory from you! If I am about to become great so you three better stay great (no pressure haha!) I love you all and cannot wait to hear from you and see you again.
Love,
Alina
Happy with the letter she set it to the side and placed the other sheet of parchment in front of her.
If you show your peers and classmates that you have changed they will welcome you into their circles just like your friends now did.
Her father's words echoed again in her head. As hard as it would be to apologize to someone if she wanted to grow her father was right, she needed to mend some of the bridges she had burnt. Who should she should apologize to first though? Who in her year could she possibly even become friends with even if they did accept her apology. One name came to mind before any others.
"I can't believe I'm about to do this," she groaned and picked up her quill.
Dear Luna,
. . .