Chapter Five

One day, three hours after the disintegration

Peter was still holding Wade's hand, and he had to admit it felt pretty nice. So he had to distract himself.

"Vision had good questions, Wade," Spider-Man said, thoughtful. "Why do you think it's only us heroes?"

Deadpool laughed. "It's cute that you think I'm a hero, love."

Peter sighed. "You know what I mean, 'Pool."

"Yeah, yeah sorry, babe," the mercenary smiled sheepishly. "I dunno, I guess Vision's guess that the stone 'chose him' would apply to us, too, right? Like if the stone could choose things, that means it's probs alive, right? Maybe it doesn't like scrotum-chin. I sure wouldn't."

Peter stared at Wade in awe, ignoring how they called Thanos a penis. "Wade, you're a genius! That makes perfect sense."

"Aww, thanks, Petey-Pie. I don't get that particular compliment very often. Sexiest person alive? Hundreds of times. Hilariously witty? Constantly-"

"Wade."

"Sorry kiddo. Got carried away." The merc winked, maybe for the third time today.

"It's okay, I just... that implies that the soul stone thinks it's only chance is to put us together and form..." Peter's eyes went wide.

"Fuck no! There's no way I'm going all Avengers with those clowns." Deadpool protested. Spider-Man didn't disagree. Everyone had been pretty miserable to each other in this past day, and that's low for a bunch of heroes.

"Shut the fuck up!" Deadpool yelled out, suddenly. They were grabbing their head like they had a splitting headache. Peter touched their arm, concerned. "God, they won't shut up! This is my fucking head!" Wade was angry.

Peter pulled them down to sit on the sandy ground. "What are they saying?" He whispered as if any small noise would bother the merc.

Deadpool groaned. "Yellow keeps telling me to do what you said, to team up with everyone and fight our way out. White wants to die, so they keep saying to kill everyone. If only so we can die here, in this wasteland." They turned to Peter. "I hate them."

Spider-Man didn't know how to respond, so he just hugged Wade tightly. Deadpool sniffed.

"Why doesn't anyone ever get my pronouns right?" Wade asked, their voice soft. Peter was alarmed at the lack of pet names and dick jokes, and he knew that the mercenary was serious.

Spider-Man frowned. "I think it's because they see it as inconvenient. And they don't seem to like you." Peter pulled away from the hug to see Wade's expression, and he wished they weren't wearing their mask.

"Should we try and catch up to Black Panther and the others?" Peter wondered after Wade calmed down.

"Yeah, babe, sounds like a plan," Deadpool's voice was normal again. "Can I hold your hand?"

Peter blushed. "Uh... y-yeah. Sure! I mean, if you want." Spider-Man cursed himself for being so goddamn awkward. Wade's smile was huge; even under the mask, it was very apparent. But the pair walked in comfortable silence.

"You also present as pretty masculine," Peter said out of nowhere.

"Huh?"

"For why they never get your pronouns right. It shouldn't matter, but it does to most people."

Wade laughed. "Oh, honey," they said, only half kidding. "You should see me in a dress."

Spider-Man forced himself to breathe. He did not need to think about that right now, nope, not even a little bit. Those feelings could be confronted later. Stop thinking. Stop.

"I'd kill for some booze, Sweets," Wade was rambling. "Some vodka. What are you like drunk? You're probably real cute. I bet you'd cuddle and be all giggly and shit. Have you ever-"

"I don't drink." Peter said simply and waited for 'Pool to say something condescending.

"That's cool. It's shitty stuff, really." Wade yawned.

Peter grinned. Usually, people would call him a prude, or a loser, or uptight. Or even ask why in that awful tone. This was a nice change.

"Do you smoke, love?" Wade looked at him curiously. "Only askin' 'cause I might have an emergency stash somewhere."

"No."

"Do y'mind if I smoke tonight? I'd like to get some shit off my chest for once."

"Uh... I guess I don't mind. Is it... is it just weed?" Peter got nervous, not wanted to feel stupid in front of Wade.

"Of course, Baby Boy!" Wade laughed a little, but not in a condescending way. " 'm not a crackhead anymore, don't worry."

Peter couldn't stop himself. "Anymore?"

"Yeah..." Deadpool kicked at the sand a little as they were walking. "That was bad. If you're planning on starting something, babe, don't start coke. It's bad." Spidey sensed that the merc didn't want to talk about it anymore, so he let the topic go. The silence was comfortable, though, and they walked, hand in hand, staring into the distance.