Hey there,

You should go read my:

Moments of Our Life Together

I think the majority of you would enjoy it. (Clint Fans) :o)

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Enough blabbering. On with the show.

Enjoy.

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I watched my mom move around the kitchen gracefully. She always amazed me how she could be cooking for tens upon tens of people but still be completely relaxed. It was Christmas and our entire family was over. Mom was checking on the turkey and dressing. I was cutting vegetables for the veggie tray. My aunt Carolina was a vegetarian. So in return, I was cutting up every single vegetable you could think of. 'Lina was finishing up the sweets that she volunteered to make. Truthfully, 'Lina couldn't cook…at all. She was a nerd, first and foremost. Secondly, she was a musician. She played the violin, piano, and flute. Cooking for her involved take out or/and a microwave.

"You alright dear?"

I looked up at my mom, her dark hair tied back into a loose bun. Bright brown eyes sparkled in the low lighting of the kitchen. I glanced down and realized I had finished all of the cucumbers. Oh. I shook my head and laid the knife down, "Just...things on my mind."

"Deacon is coming for dinner, right? I made his favorite…eggplant casserole." She smiled brightly and I returned it with the same enthusiasm. She loved Deacon. She called him her 'future son-in-law'.

"He should be." I glanced at the clock, "He was finished with work about an hour ago."

"Lovely. Just lovely sweetie." She continued to move around the kitchen flawlessly. 'Lina was finally finished with the No Bake Cookies and Lemon Bars. Finally. Her hair was curled to perfection. I felt incomparable. I had just thrown on a pair of jeans, flats, plain t-shirt and pulled my hair into a low ponytail. Marlina was dressed like she was going out on a fancy date. Yellow dress that tied on the side, red jewelry, red heels. I rubbed my forehead. I felt a headache coming on.

"I'm going to go freshen up for dinner mom." Marlina said taking her apron off. She folded it and set it off to the side. I sighed in frustration as I grabbed a carrot and started chomping away at it. After 'Lina disappeared mom turned to me.

"You 'miz well tell me what's going on with you. Don't make me read your diary again."

I laughed and looked down at the vast options for veggies. My aunt should be pleased, "Yea…I was twelve. I don't keep a journal mom."

"I'll just ask Deacon…he tells me everything."

I huffed at that and she titled her head to the side slowly. Her face lit up and she grinned brightly at me, "You should tell him how you feel before he leaves for the Marine's Marcia. You will regret it for the rest of you life if you don't tell him."

It was either now or never. She continued, "Long distance relationships work. Look at your father and me. We made it eight months before he moved here. That's…"

"I joined the Marine's with Deacon," I spewed out quickly.

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Standing in front of his door holding two plane tickets was crazy. For all I know he was so upset with me that he wouldn't want to speak with me let alone ride in a plane with me…or even stay a week with me at my mom's house. I shook my head and leaned against the wall. This was stupid. He wasn't going to want to go. I shoved off the wall and started to walk toward the elevator. His door opened and I froze. I've been caught trying to sneak away. I need to be more stealthy or just quick….or be brave for once.

"I was sure you were going to spend all evening out here…but you're leaving…so- that settles that." I turned just as he was about to close the door and I said the first thing that came to mind.

"You looked for me?" The door stopped and I could hear him breathing. I stepped forward until I could see his face. He starred at the ground for a moment before his eyes floated up to mine. "Where you telling the truth?"

"I wouldn't lie to you." He said quietly. I watched him swallow and he nodded back, "You wanna come in?"

I nodded sticking the plane tickets into my back pocket. He stepped back allowing me passage. I paused before making my way to the couch. The suitcase caught my attention, "Are…are you leaving?"

He gave an awkward laugh as he sat down in his recliner, "I'm trying to figure that out myself."

I sat down on the couch closet to him, "How come you haven't mentioned anything yet?"

He pressed his lips together as he scooted forward, he ran a hand through his gel less hair, and gave a long sigh, "You and Cap…you have or had this thing going on. You needed friends…or relationships or something firm to hold on to. So…I let it go. You have to admit Cap has a lot firmer grip on life than I do. Hell, he's even from another time period and he's more stable than I am. I'm…not…a whole man, you know? I'm rough around the edges. I've done horrible things. I can't seem to stay in one place…I don't like to settle. Or at least that's the psycho blabber bullshit Banner told me."

He let out a bitter laugh as he stood abruptly, "You know what I realized…after I told you that I'd fight for you. Hell, I even considered ways to kill the man. I realized that…maybe you was right- the way you decided. I think you chose the right man. Even…even if I don't believe it. I think- I think you did the right thing."

I shifted my gaze down to the floor, "I think I'm too abrasive for him."

He snorted at that. He shook his head, "Nah…he just doesn't know how to handle you."

My eyes widened and eyebrows rose at that. I felt a blush creep into my cheeks, that familiar pull down low. God, he was so damn sexy. I tried to hide the smile that was forming on my lips. He eased himself down on the cushion next to me and laced his fingers together. "You know…when I found out that you were dead. I literally…lost it."

I met his beautiful blue eyes with interest and sympathy. I could never explain the guilt and regret that I had for that. I couldn't put the feeling into words, "I'm so sorry."

"I was on a mission…with Tasha. I got word and I couldn't think. When we went in to the building- I almost got us killed. We were both hurt. I barely got her out of there alive. That scared me…that I could lose control of my emotions like that. That someone could affect me like that. So, I took a two month leave. Tasha went with me to make sure I didn't do anything stupid."

I nodded slowly, "And that's when…"

"She's a good person Marc'. Don't be angry with her for helping Cap. She's someone you want on your side. She's a good friend. You both are similar…in a lot of ways."

I smiled however small the smile was- I meant it. I rubbed my palms on my jeans, "Well, we both have really great hair."

He chuckled as he let his fingers run over strands of brown and blue, "That you do."

It became silent between us. He continued stroking the few strands that he had in his hand. I closed my eyes momentarily and took a deep breath, "Well, I guess I'll let you get to wherever you were going."

He let go of my hair and his eyes shifted to his luggage. He shrugged, "Nothing's set. I know I just want to get away from here. As much or more than you. I haven't had actual time off in….a while."

"I have two plane tickets…you know, if…"

"Yes," he said without hesitation.

"You don't even know where we are going." I said with a laugh. He shook his head and smirked.

"Doesn't matter to me."

I smiled instantly and I handed him the ticket that I had in my back pocket. His eyes even smiled as he grinned, "First class…dang. You were gonna try to convince me to come, huh?"

"If that's what it took…yes." His hand was on my cheek and his lips extremely close to mine. I could feel his cool breath on my skin. His eyes flickered down as I finished the distance and captured his lips. I felt him deepen the kiss for three seconds before he pulled away. He swallowed dryly. "I'm…I'm not going to replace him."

I shook my head as I trailed my fingers from his neck to his jaw line, "You were here long before he was."

He smirked, "That sounded pretty cheesy…are you sure you don't just wanna get me in bed?"

I smiled at that, but didn't answer. I placed another kiss on his lips and he pulled me tighter. Thank God he didn't press on with that thought. Because would have been yes…repeatedly.

"You hungry? I was thinking of making crepes."

"You can't make crepes," I said following him with a smile trying to ignore the fact that I had an open ended invitation to his bed.

He shrugged, "Ah…well, see- I thought maybe you could show me."

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Clint pulled the rental car into my mom's driveway. I had been shaking all the way from the airport. I was nervous as hell. Clint though…cool as a cucumber. As usual. I stared up at the yellow two story home trimmed out in white and I shook my head, "Nope. Let's go somewhere else. Florida is not that for away. We can go to Destin….or Key West. I've never been to Disney."

He rested his hand on mine, "It's too chilly for the beach…you'll be fine. Besides…this should be fun you know? You've been dead for three…four years, you have blue hair, you shoot fire from your fingertips…and you're bringing a guy home. This will be awkward and fun...lots and lots of fun."

"God you make it sound like I'm a teenager again."

He smirked, "You must have been a horrible teenager…"

I took a deep breath and opened the door. Clint followed and moved to the back of the car to get the bags. I glared at him and he chuckled, "Go knock on the door…the shudders keep moving. She's knows we're here."

I made my way up the sidewalk and the door flew open. My mom looked like my mom…after all this time- she was still the same. Long brown hair in a loose bun, red sweater, dark jeans, and white tennis shoes. I grinned and pretty much ran the rest of the way. I pressed myself deeper into her hug and breathed her in. She smelt like home. Vanilla, Cinnamon, and Lavender. How I missed that smell. She released me from the hug and her small, chilly hands were on my face, "It's good to have you home."

It was amazing the welcome that I received from my sister and my mother were completely day and night. She gave me quick squeeze and then bypassed me to…Clint. I watched the interaction between the two and suddenly I felt in the dark. He set down my suitcase and embraced my mom tightly before she kissed him on the cheek, "Thank you."

I felt my mouth go slack, "Y-you know each other?"

Clint looked away with a slight smile as he picked up the suitcase. My mom just laughed, "We have so much to catch up on Marcia. So much. I'm putting you in your old room. Clint, you can take Marlina's old room."

Marlina's old room? She winked at him and he made his way inside. I shook my head in disbelief. Seriously? How could he not tell me that he knew my mom? The image of seeing Clint and Marlina standing in the hallway talking over their coffee with slight smiles on their faces invaded my mind. Of course…he had been in contact with them from the beginning. Sneaky bastard.

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Clint easily made himself at home, making me wonder how long he had actually spent here. He was quick to volunteer to help my mom fire up the grill. After which she looked at me and casually said, 'He's amazing on the grill sweetie. Wait until you have these steaks. He grills the best steaks.'

I watched him from the dining room window as he stood tall with a beer in one hand and the steak pick in the other. The sleeves were pulled up on his gray zip up pullover. I could see the muscles in his arms flexing as he turned the steaks. I swallowed slightly as I imagined him grilling on a Sunday afternoon, kids running around the yard playing in the sprinklers, and...

"He came here to ask questions about you."

I turned my head toward my mom, she smiled softly. She wrapped her arm around me and I sighed, "He never told me."

"He explained that you two were friends." She said that with a smile and I felt myself blush slightly. She walked back toward the kitchen and I followed her slowly. I wondered how much he had actually told her. Surely…not everything. "He wanted to find you as much as we did. He searched through your room and talked to some people you knew around here. He's quite the detective."

"Well, it's kind of his job." I laughed nervously. She removed the fried squash from the burner and began mixing the mashed potatoes. She smiled in her work. She seemed happy. I gazed around at the various frames hanging on the walls. There were several pictures of 'Lina, her husband, and son. I felt cheated…I felt like I had let my future just run away without me. "I'm sorry for…you know…everything that I did…that happened."

She glanced up and gave a small smile before returning her attention back to the potatoes, "I never, for one second, thought you were dead. I just knew."

"Lina doesn't seem to feel that way…" I said sitting down at the island. My mom laughed, her perfect teeth smiling at me, lines crinkled around her eyes. Age had favored my mother- very well.

"Your sister is…well, she's your sister. I think she was the mostaffected by your disappearance." She glanced up, her eyes focusing on something behind me. I turned slightly realizing she was looking at Clint. He was pulling the steaks off the grill now. "When he showed up…it gave us hope. He made a promise that he would bring you back to me…to us. He kept his word."

He reached for the door handle and I nodded then with a faint smile, "He's a good man."

He grinned brightly as he closed the door behind him. I wasn't sure if he had heard what I said or not. He breezed on by me and tossed his beer bottle into the trash, "These are going to be the best steaks that you've ever had…in your life."

"That so?" I said with a smirk. He winked at me and sat the plate down on the counter beside my mother. He gave her a swift kiss on the cheek and I felt out of place for a moment. She smiled and handed him the potatoes.

"I keep telling Clint he's the son I never had," she smiled broadly. Funny, she used to say that about Deacon. "Did you get the package I sent you?"

He shifted his eyes toward mine and then moved toward the dining room table, "Um…yes…I did. I appreciate scarf Ellen."

I must have looked a bit clueless at that moment because my mom clarified, "He was admiring your scarves the last time he was here. I knitted him one. In fact…if I'm correct- which I am- it matches your blue and gray one."

She smiled softly and carried the salad to the table. I picked up the rolls and squash. It was like he was the son she never had. I couldn't remember if she had treated Deacon this warmly or not. That was so long ago. I was started to forget what he looked like. What it felt like to hug him or to smell his way too expensive cologne. Maybe that was a good thing. I didn't want to be plagued by past memories that I knew wouldn't help me move on with my life. Setting the bowls on the table- I watched them closely as they interacted with pleasant, easy conversation. I glanced up at the picture of my sister and I on the day I deployed. She was hugging me fiercely. I missed her. Deeply. I seated myself between them at the table and let out a small sigh as I started to fill my plate. Mom and Clint were jabbering away. He was laughing…that deep chuckle seemed to warm my heart. She was giggling that bright smile glittering in the dinning room light. She never acted like this when I used to invite Deacon over. He had won my mother over.

He had won her over completely. I smirked at the thought.

This could be my family. We could be a family again. I shook my head and took a sip of my wine, this was my family. The family had never changed- just me. I was the change.

"Clint told me about your…gift." Speaking of change…

I choked on my wine. Clutching the tablecloth with a death grip, I stole a glance at Clint who was shoving his mouth full of squash. I cocked an eyebrow and shrugged as I looked back down at my plate, "I'm not sure if it's a gift or not mom."

"Nonsense. You are helping people. You are part of a team. It's a gift."

My eyes connected with hers when she laid a chilly hand on my forearm. She smiled softly and I gave a timid nod. It wasn't a gift mom. She and Clint went back to chatting away. I threw in a few quips and agreements here and there. The subject changed suddenly, in fact, it was more like it flipped a 180'. I almost choked on my mashed potatoes this time, "I'm sorry?"

"I said that I still expect grandchildren from you even if you are gallivanting around the world saving lives. You can take a break Marcy and give me a few grandbabies. Taylor needs cousins you know." She grinned, Clint coughed with a strained laugh, and I…well I blanched.

"Gotta have a guy first mom," I said tightly. Her lips fell into a tight lipped smile as her eyes flickered back and forth between Clint and I. Besides…I was sure if I could have children with my condition. I took a lengthy sip of my wine.

Clint distracted my mom. I assume he felt my unease. "Tell me Ellen, you ever met Tony Stark?"

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After dinner, my wine glass (bottle actually) and I retired to the back porch. My mother, who is a bath freak, made her way upstairs for her nightly bath and book time. We wouldn't see her until morning. I wrapped the blanket tighter around me and sipped the luscious red liquid. I wasn't feeling fuzzy, but relaxed. One night…just one night I would love to just turn the flame off. Just one night.

I turned my head at the sound of the glass door sliding open. Clint nodded and sat down beside me. I opened the cover a bit and he slid in next to me. The love seat was a rocker that was completely made from oak. My dad constructed it during the sixth year of my parents' marriage. It was her anniversary present.

"Sorry…my mom…she's something else."

He laughed and tapped his beer bottle with his finger sporadically, "I actually really like your mom. Coming from someone who pretty much never had parents. You're lucky."

I stilled for a moment, the glass close to my lips, "Did you meet my dad?"

"I did," he said with a slow nod before taking a swig of his beer.

I swallowed dryly and set the glass on the side table, "He was a good man…a good father."

"I think you are a lot like him. You both…are very peaceful to be around." I cocked an eyebrow at him and turned my head slightly. Peaceful? I think not. I am so not a peaceful person. "In the field- you are completely level headed. I envied that when we were in that god forsaken desert."

I laughed abruptly and he looked at me as if I had grown a second head, "I envied you."

He broke into a grin, "Your mom was right…we are alike. Scary."

I nodded, "Freaky huh?"

We fell into a comfortable silence then. Breathing in the night air I felt myself become still. My wine was forgotten. His beer sat abandoned on the porch railing. Maybe we calmed each other. I found myself leaning closer to him and before I knew it, his arms were wrapped around me tightly. His nose buried into my hair. I sighed happily then. This was…is…this is what I want.

"I care about you Marcia," he whispered into my ear. I felt my stomach flutter slightly. Care about you. The way he said it…it was more of a 'really care about you' tone. I swallowed nervously as I sat up slowly. His eyes connected with mine. They were guarded, slightly glassy. Was he expecting something in return? My breathing increased and he gave my hand a tight squeeze before he stood up.

He headed for the door and paused. I still hadn't said anything. What's wrong with you James? Pull your shit together. I opened my mouth and nothing came out.

He gave a small smirk as he whispered again. His voice sweet, soft, caring. "I just wanted you to know that. I really do care about you."

With that he entered the house and left me sitting there dumfounded, confused, and feeling stupid for not saying anything back. Care meaning love? Or just care meaning…always be there for you kind of feeling. Oh God, how did I feel about this? I came to my mother's to help clear my mind and reset my life. Not…fall in love (because that's actually what he meant- you know Clint)…or at least that's what I thought he meant. Love. No. You aren't in love…

Yet.

I'm just over thinking this. Completely over thinking. You aren't in love.

Are you?

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Hope you enjoyed. Feel free to review.

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me.

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