No people, I am not dead. I recently got a new job and it's taking a while to adjust to my new schedule. I apologize if the fact I suddenly quit updating in the past few days alarmed you and want to thank everyone who sent me a PM recently asking if I was alright.
As strange as it was, it almost felt good to be back in England.
And then she remembered the crap she went through, and that good mood dampened.
"You sure your contacts will be here?" asked Clint, aka Hawkeye. The two of them had formed an unusual bond when she proved she could match him fairly well when it came to archery. Guns were so...boring.
Besides, she promised him free upgrades to his arrows and the almost guarantee he would get to use his more messy ones without having to fill out the paperwork for it.
Natasha... well, the two of them had bonded over crappy childhoods and the fact that Jazz wouldn't say a thing if she castrated a few of the pure bloods. Surprisingly the Black Widow was a witch, though not formally trained.
Seeing the patronus, Jazz grinned.
"Hawkeye, meet Chaos and Discord," said Jazz.
Fred and George promptly tried to hug the stuffing out of her.
"Eris, where did you go?"
"Long story short I still have living family in America, and that's all you're getting. Chaos, Discord, this is Hawkeye and Black Widow. We're here to put an end to the nonsense once and for all...with extreme prejudice."
Fred looked confused.
"What does that mean?"
"It means we get to blow shit up and not get yelled at for it later. Considering all the damage those idiots who have been causing, the Queen and the Prime Minister are more than happy to look the other way if we just decide to blow the hell out of their bases for the sheer fun of it, so long as they're dealt with," clarified Clint helpfully. "That includes the Ministry itself, since they've pretty much screwed the pooch."
"I am going to have sooo much fun blowing that up, once we've cleared the area," said Jazz vindictively. "But not before exploiting the fact that those idiots never raised the rates for normal currency and gold exchange."
She was going to abuse the hell out of that particular system before they fixed it. And share the spoils with her two new friends. Best of all, since she knew for a fact that Gringotts burned the excess currency anyway because they had no way to exchange it, she had been authorized to use all the notes that were going to be disposed of anyway by the Queen to drain the magical economy dry in an effort to force them to convert to the normal currency.
Let it be said that the Queen and Prime Minister were quite pissed off with the magical idiots, and had no issue with forcing them into an economic depression.
"Chaos, Discord, I have a special assignment for you two."
"What's that Eris?"
"I want you to upgrade Hawkeye's arrows so they can do all sorts of fun things, up to and including exploding when they impact. I know for a fact he's good enough to shoot a Death Eater in the ass," said Jazz cheerfully.
The two shared a look, then at the arrows Clint had on him with an evil grin.
"We can do that."
"Also, he needs an upgraded quiver. His current stock of arrows isn't nearly enough to cause enough havoc, destruction and wide spread anarchy."
The twins gave a thumbs up.
"So do you want to head to the Order headquaters or the actual resistance? Just know they're not exactly happy with the fact you left and Mum has been gearing up for one massive shouting match because of it."
"The actual resistance, because the Order can go to hell. They were useless before and the fact that there's a seperate group in the fight tells me they haven't changed in the least," said Jazz bluntly.
Natasha walked up to Jazz with an amused look on her face.
"So is Eris your codename?"
"My Marauder's name. Do you really think Fury wants a part-time agent with a name based off an ancient personification of chaos?"
"Considering the general poll for your 'super' name is leaning heavily on Iron Maiden since the press has been calling Tony 'Iron Man'..."
"Which Iron Maiden?" asked Jazz curiously. "The musical group, or the torture device where you shove people in and when you close the door spikes skewer anyone inside it? Or are they trying to imply I'm some sort of Valkyrie or something?"
"I think it's mosly a play on his name," admitted Natasha, openly amused that Jazz caught the double reference. "Since you're much younger than he is and haven't exactly bothered to date anyone publicly. Coincidentally 'Valkyrie' was the second choice."
Jazz snorted at that.
Hermione was in a real mood, but fortunately Jazz knew exactly how to deal with that.
She silenced her without the slightest bit of hesitation.
"Listen and listen well Granger. You are not my mother. You are not related to me in any significant way that would give you any right to how I live my life. Quite frankly I find it horrifying that you've allowed magic to override your common sense and have somehow managed to fall into the same trap as the idiots who have let it get this bad. We are going to do things my way, and if you don't like it you're free to join the little tea society Dumbledore created and let the adults make all the decisions for as if you were still a child," said Jazz icily.
"Bloody hell. What happened to you?" asked Ron.
Jazz turned on him next, and he instinctively cringed back from her glare.
"Don't think I've forgotten you, Ronald. Let me make this abundantly clear. When this fight is over I am going to return to America without you. I don't care what little ideas you may or may not have had, but there is no way I will EVER be interested in you. You ruined any chances of that fourth year with your behavior, and I am not allowing your positively Slytherin mindset hold me back ever again. The so-called Golden Trio died the day Dumbledore took a dive off the tower," said Jazz with absolutely no room for argument.
Dead silence.
"What happened to you?" asked Neville timidly.
"It's called growing up and leaving the cage that the magical enclaves insisted on throwing me in. I have enough on my plate taking care of that glorified man-child Tony Stark, I don't need to add babysitting the magical enclaves onto it," said Jazz bluntly.
"Who's Tony Stark?" asked Ron.
Natasha and Clint shared a look. No wonder Jazz was fed up with them...they were all idiots.
"Now...where exactly are their bases located and what is the general number of troops inside?" asked Jazz briskly. The sooner she got this over with, the happier she would be.
It took them a week, but eventually they were able to get a basic idea of the situation at hand.
Almost immediately, Clint, Jazz and Natasha all had the same idea upon hearing about the taboo and the Snatchers.
They were so going to abuse that system to kill off as many idiots as possible. They were practically asking for it.
"Fred, George, do you still have those 'restricted' products I warned you not to sell to the general public? I think we're going to have quite a few test dummies to use them on," said Jazz far too cheerfully.
"Remember, she did want to deal with those who are actually cursed, and not general volunteers," said Natasha as a reminder.
"We can sort those out pretty fast," said Jazz.
"What are you going to do?" asked Neville.
"We're going to abuse the Taboo, capture anyone who shows up, and if they're genuine Death Eaters we're going to kill them via hanging," said Jazz bluntly.
Seeing the horrified looks on their faces, she gave them a hard one of her own.
"The reason this mess has gone on so long is because no one has had the balls to do what was necessary, if unpleasant. By this point anyone who willingly wears the mask or wear the mark has been classified a terrorist and a traitor to the crown, and there's only one fate left for them. They should be grateful they are going to be given a quick death, as opposed to a slow and painful one. The government has no interest in dragging it out and risking these bastards getting loose twice."
They were going to shove veritaserum down their throats, get a clear cut answer as to whether they were "true believers" and once they had the information they needed they were going to be hanged if they weren't under the influence of the Imperius curse.
No muss, no fuss, and zero chance of the Death Eaters reclaiming their members.
And for those who still had titles or peerages when they were captured, the wealth and everything else would be redistrubited later to those who had contributed to dealing with the actual problem. Anything that wasn't a family heirloom or belonged specifically to that line alone was going to be taken from them.
They would be lucky to be left as paupers, by the time this mess was cleared up.
"While we deal with the Snatchers, I'm going to have Nyx go through tax records."
"Why?" demanded Hermione. She was still reeling from the fact her friend had changed so much.
"Because the one thing true of any government is that nothing is as reliable as tax records. Even if the Death Eaters did infiltrate it, they'd never think to mess with those even if they did know where to look. And tax records often tie in to other records, making it easy to find things if you know what you're looking for... like general locations of where certain mansions are."
Hermione was stunned.
"But the wards..."
"Are only able to block what people can notice. If nothing else the records will narrow down areas where the mansions are not and give us a much smaller area to search. Once we find the general location we can then map out the edge of the wards and call in for reinforcements. I guarantee you that we won't be going in quietly unless they have open hostages out," said Jazz bluntly.
Hermione clearly didn't like the sound of that, but she kept her peace. It was obvious Jazz had changed from the person she knew and she wasn't about to take orders from anyone ever again.
A few days later...
Jazz was on a hillside under camoflage. Next to her were a few other SHIELD agents including Natasha. Jazz had a sniper's rifle within easy reach and she was very glad that she had gotten training in how to use it before coming back to England.
"We in position?"
"Ready and waiting, Valkyrie," said Clint. He was in the trees out of sight with enough knock out gas to take down three elephants.
While Jazz's "official" name was Iron Maiden, her "SHIELD agent" identity had been set as Valkyrie. Mostly because no one wanted to use the call sign "Agent Maiden" or "Agent Iron" when they contacted her.
"Alright, then lets start the fireworks and enjoy the show. With any luck we'll catch some fat fish," said Jazz.
"Copy that," said Clint. "Setting off the taboo now."
Two minutes after Clint said the name, a group of ten Snatchers appeared.
He had them all knocked out in less than five minutes, as they never saw him fire.
"Looks like we might have caught a big fish, or just a middling one," said Clint, kicking one of the skull-masked idiots.
"Fun. Bag 'em and tag 'em. We'll leave sorting them out to the other agents," said Jazz.
"You got it boss," said Clint. He stripped them down to their skivvies, made sure to snap any wands he could find, and made damn sure that none of them had any portkeys using a neat little toy that the twins had given him to detect active magic.
They repeated the process twice more, and Jazz called it to a halt once they hit thirty captives.
There was no point in the Death Eaters catching on to the trick so soon by trying to get too many. Thirty was plenty to start with.
Hermione wasn't the only one staring when she saw how many people they captured.
"What are you going to do with them?" she asked.
"We'll shove veritaserum down their throat, as if they are a willing member of Voldemort's boy band, and depending on the answer they might be detained or sent to the gallows," said Jazz.
Hermione didn't look happy, but she kept her silence. Jazz had already done more than the Order had for the past two years in a single night.
She was rather dismayed to see the five hanging bodies on the news two days later. No trial, no chance to escape...they were made to tell them everything they knew before they were promptly hanged.
It was the dream again.
Tony vividly remembered the conversation he had with Yinsen about family.
Flashback
"You still haven't told me where you're from," said Tony.
"I'm from a small town called Gulmira. It's actually a nice place."
"Got a family?" asked Tony.
"Yes, and I will see them when I leave here. And you, Stark?"
Tony was silent. However he trusted Yinsen with his life and it wasn't like the men holding them could read his lips from the camera they had. His back was to it.
"I have a daughter. She's about seventeen. Didn't even know she was mine until my friends noticed the resemblance."
Yinsen was openly surprised, but then again Tony had never publicly claimed Jazz before.
"What does she look like?" asked Yinsen.
"Pale, with Irish features. She has short black hair with red fringe, and verdant green eyes like emeralds. She's more mature than I ever was, and I know the company will be in good hands with her," said Tony.
"And her name?"
"Jasmine. Jasmine Evans. She said she wasn't ready to come out as a Stark because she didn't want people to think she only showed up for the money or the fame," said Tony quietly.
"When we leave here, you will see her again," said Yinsen.
"I don't even know anything about why she fled England. I barely know a thing about her," said Tony.
"Then perhaps you should spend less time building weapons, and more time with your family," said Yinsen.
Tony said nothing, though he silently vowed to be a better father when he got out.
Flashback end
Tony rolled over. It bothered him that he had no idea what Jazz was doing in England, or when she would be back.
The conversation with Yinsen bugged him so much that he couldn't sleep. And he wasn't about to be dependent on that herbal remedy Jazz left behind for him.
So when Rhodey came to visit later that afternoon, Tony had enough.
He had seen the secret glances and amused looks his friend and daughter kept sharing, like they were part of something that they couldn't tell him about.
Rhodey seemed to sense something was up, because he said nothing.
"What do you want to know?" he asked tiredly.
"Where is my daughter?" asked Tony seriously.
Rhodey winced.
"It's complicated."
"Then uncomplicate it. I know you two are hiding something and I want to know what it is."
Rhodey could tell that there was no way Tony was going to let this go anytime soon.
"She's in the middle of forcibly ending a civil war in England that's been going on for the past thirty or so years. It was put on hold for close to fourteen, but it recently started up again," said Rhodey.
"Bullshit. England isn't in the middle of a civil war. If they were it would be all over the news," said Tony.
"I never said it was a civil war between the average citizens," said Rhodey.
Seeing he had Tony's full attention, Rhodey silently palmed his wand. He didn't want to erase the memory of magic from Tony, but if he had to he would.
"It's a civil war between two factions of a very old society that goes back to the Dark Ages that can use unique powers similar to mutants, except they have a more diverse range of abilities," said Rhodey.
"You make it sound like magic is real," said Tony in disbelief. Mutants he could believe, as they were a genetic quirk of evolution. But magic?
Rhodey took his wand and turned Tony's couch into a large hippo.
Tony's disbelief at the sight was fairly obvious.
"Sir, there is a large herbivore in the living room. Should I alert Animal Control?" asked JARVIS.
"You're a witch?"
"Wizard. Jazz would be a witch," said Rhodey. He let Tony examine it, before turning it back. "We had to go into hiding during the Dark Ages because of the Witch Hunts, but for the record it was mostly normal people they caught. We take our secrecy very seriously."
"Why tell me now?" he asked hurt.
"Because as Jazz's father, you have a right to know about magic. Only immediate family is cleared to know about it, though if you displayed any of the same behaviors as the anti-mutant groups we would have to erase your memory of it. Jazz didn't want to tell you because she was worried you might react badly to her powers," said Rhodey. "Considering what she went through in England, it's only natural she would be leery of showing trust."
Tony latched onto that.
"You know what happened to her."
"General details, and you have to sift through a lot of nonsense. I can get you the back issues of the paper they have there, but if you want specifics you'll have to ask her," said Rhodey.
This would be a good way to distract Tony until Jazz got back.