The first time, they're both sixteen, and it's most definitely Gai's idea. A test of stamina! he shouts, and Kakashi is vaguely annoyed and somewhat skeptical, but also morbidly curious.

Years later, he tells himself that it was just two boys experimenting, mutual masturbation; it's not that unusual.

A decade later, he still remembers the feeling of Gai's calloused fingers, his too strong grip, his too quick strokes. The way he frowned in deep concentration, as if he was solving a difficult math problem.

The first time, Kakashi loses.

The second time, Kakashi is twenty-seven while Gai has just turned twenty-eight, and Kakashi makes the suggestion in what was most definitely supposed to be a sarcastic fashion, but Gai takes it as seriously as he takes everything else, and they're both incredibly drunk anyway, and Kakashi's heart is pounding and he thinks, Why the hell not?

That time is all about technique, about who's more skilled as a lover, but they're both far too drunk to make it count.

The next morning, Kakashi blames the alcohol and shrugs it off. It definitely helps that Gai sheepishly claims complete memory loss.

A year later, Kakashi still remembers the sweet taste of liquor on Gai's tongue and the weight of Gai's body when he fell asleep on Kakashi. His breath tickling Kakashi's collarbone, his snoring keeping Kakashi awake, but only for a few hazy minutes.

The second time, Gai loses.

The last time, Kakashi is close to thirty and Gai has stopped counting, and Kakashi doesn't know how it happens, only that it happens, in a tent, on the hard ground, between maps and scattered ninja tools. The unspoken challenge is not to make a sound, not to acknowledge anything, and Kakashi is sure that Gai can read it in his eye as clearly as Kakashi can see it in Gai's.

Seconds later, Kakashi tells himself not to remember Gai's fingers lacing through his, the way Gai's breath hitches, the sensation of the muscles of Gai's lower back tensing and relaxing beneath the palm of Kakashi's hand.

The last time, it's a draw.

The last time, it's goodbye.