"About five years ago, I was in the darkest place I could ever be. Five years ago I was clinically diagnosed with depression. Five years ago I tried to take my life multiple times.

If we were to travel back in time and meet my 18 year old self, and ask her 'what will you be doing in 5 years time?' She probably would have told you she would be graduating from U-penn and she probably would have smiled, but if you looked close enough you could see how forced that smile actually was. This girl that I once knew was so caught up with being perfect, just to impress her family, that during everything she lost herself.

I can remember the exact day I lost myself as if it were yesterday… I had gotten in a fight with my parents and some horrible things were said. I remember how hopeless I had felt. These feelings had lasted forever, in my opinion, and the only thing that kept me going was the amazing Toby Cavanaugh. One day something had happened and I was ban from seeing Toby, thats when I felt I had lost my battle. I remember the pain I felt, and I remember how done I was in that moment. You see, Toby was- no is my rock and without him my life had no meaning. Toby will always be my light at the end of the tunnel, and I am proud to say that Toby will always be my savior. Anyways… I remember that night as I ran up to my bathroom and I was about to do it, I was about to let go, but right when I was about to end it all the knife was pushed from my hands.

At that time, I thought that was the worst thing that could have possibly have happened to me, but now… my god I am so happy this man saved my life.

Now we will skip forward a few weeks.

A few weeks later and I was beginning to feel better, but one day I had this feeling. The feeling of hopelessness had returned to my body.

That same day, I had shut down, and I had blocked everyone that was important to me out. That same day, I was almost successful at taking my own life.

The next thing I remember was waking up at the hospital, I remember how disappointed I was with myself.

Anyways…

A few weeks later I was discharged from the hospital, but it was as if I had left with more problems. During the midst of everything, I had begun to get terrible nightmares every night. I would also like to mention that I am still haunted by these nightmares, to this day. I can still remember waking up screaming, crying, and thrashing around every night and you know what? Toby was always right there to calm me down and hold me until I came back into reality.

"I don't care how many sleepless nights we will have or how many demons I will have to help you fight, I will always love you Spencer!"

To this day, this sentence that Toby had said to me still remains etched inside my brain, the reason? This sentence was one of the most thoughtful things that anyone had ever said to me!

It has taken five years for me to realize that there was nothing wrong with me, no there was something wrong with my environment. This thought never occurred to me when I was 18, but it sure as hell makes sense to me now!

Long story short, Toby Cavanaugh you have most defiantly saved me from myself and I am so excited to finally say that I am your wife!"

These are the words that I used in my vows to my husband Toby Cavanaugh.

"Bye! Thanks for coming everyone!" I yelled out the window of the limo Toby and I were now taking to the Edgewood Motor Court, the place where we had our first kiss.

Once the window was rolled up, I let out a sigh of relief.

"Long day?" Toby asked with a boyish smirk on his face.

"More like the best day ever, husband!" I said in a sing-songy voice, a huge smile appearing on my face when I said the word husband.

"So how does it feel to be Mrs. Cavanaugh?" Toby asked me.

"Words can not describe how happy I am to be Mrs. Cavanaugh!" I exclaimed as I leaned my head on Toby's shoulder.

I must have fallen asleep because my next memory is Toby waking me up to get changed. Once I have changed and join Toby in the bed, I let out a small giggle.

"It's amazing how the last time we were in this room we were not even a couple yet." I said in a whisper.

"We have been through so much, and through it all I never stopped loving you." Toby told me as he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close.

"Thank you." This was all I could manage to say to Toby.

"Why are you thanking me Spence?" Toby asked me.

"Toby when I say that you have said the nicest things anyone has ever said to me, I mean it. During the 18 years I had lived with my parents, I had never heard anything that nice come out of their mouthes, that was directed towards me. I have only known you for about 7 years and you have given me more love then my parents ever had!" I tell Toby, at this point tears are falling down my cheeks.

"Spencer baby, I wish I could have been there for you more, but please listen to me when I say that I love you so much! I don't know how your parents managed to treat you so horribly. You deserve the world sweetheart and I intend to give you just that!" These are the words that Toby said to me as he gently wiped away my tears.

With that, I lay my head on his chest and close my eyes. This life is amazing and all it took was Toby Cavanaugh for me to realize that.

A/N: Hey everyone!

Ok so this is the end to my fanfic! Thank you all for reading and letting me have this amazing experience! Honestly I can remember starting this at the beginning of summer, wow!

Anyways!

Okay so as some of you may know I just started 8th grade and I am super busy! I am going to try to start a new fanfic soon but I really am only free on weekends!

Go follow me on twitter to see when I am writing: Troiansdarling

Xoxo Mady