The Inevitable Truth
by: AW
Chapter 7
Rating: MA
Pairing: J/C
Summary: The Consequences of 'The Killing Game'.
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom owns the series and the characters that are related to Star Trek: Voyager, but the story is mine.
Length: 1,122 words
Date: January 2018
[SICKBAY]
Chakotay walked into sickbay with his heart on his sleeve.
He worried all the time about Kathryn all the time, the minute she lost that baby it seemed that his life with Kathryn – as a couple - was over.
He walked up to Kathryn's bedside. "Hey how are you doing?"
Kathryn nodded but didn't answer.
"Kellin is gone, she was taken into custody by her own people; her trackers. We now have a way of detecting them. They shouldn't cause us any more issues."
Kathryn nodded again, "That's good."
She looked away again, refusing to look him in the eyes.
"I want us to work this out Kathryn. We can always try for more kids."
She stared at him with daggers in her eyes. "I don't want it and don't deserve it. A Captain lives for the crew's happiness not her own."
He stared at her hurt, "What about me? I think that we can do everything."
"It's over Chakotay, end of story."
Chakotay knew that was the end of the discussion. He walked over to the Doctor's office. "I need you to be honest with me – How is Kathryn?"
The Doctor sighed, "She lost a baby. She is depressed. The moment I told her the baby was gone the first thing she asked me to do was renew her booster." He looked Chakotay in the eyes, "I told her you guys could try for another child as early as three months time, but she refused."
"What can I do for her?"
"Don't push her, this was a traumatic experience for her. If you push her she will fall farther into the depression."
He looked at the Doctor, fire in his eyes. "I need her back and so does the crew."
"I know Commander, but now it's just a waiting game."
[CHAKOTAY'S QUARTERS]
Kathryn was being released tonight, but he wasn't sure if she wanted to see him or not.
So he gave her, her space.
She was relieved of duty for a week to recuperate, and so Chakotay had to take the brunt of commanding the ship.
He sighed and leaned against the couch. It was going to be a long night.
He began on the reports, and was once again amazed at the work that Kathryn did daily.
*No wonder Kathryn doesn't sleep much.* He thought.
Finally at 2am, he went to bed. He had to be back on the bridge in six hours.
[0700 HOURS – CHAKOTAY'S QUARTERS]
The alarm went off and Chakotay rolled out of bed.
He heard crying coming from the other side of the wall, and let his head fall to his hands.
She was suffering and he didn't know what to do to help her.
He got ready for bridge duty and went to the messhall first for something to eat before it was time to go to the bridge.
[BRIDGE]
Chakotay made his way onto the bridge.
He sat in the Captain's chair, he would never get used to sitting on this side.
This was Kathryn's chair.
This was Kathryn's ship.
He sighed, "I'll be in the sickbay. I have to take care of something."
Tuvok looked at him and nodded his head.
Off Chakotay went.
[SICKBAY]
The Doctor stared around at the empty sickbay. The Captain had been released last night and the Commander was more than a little concerned about his Captain.
He turned to the sound of the sickbay doors open.
"Commander." He heard the surprise in his voice.
"Doctor we have to do something. I heard her crying on the other side of the door this morning. Kathryn doesn't cry."
The Doctor chuckled, "The Captain doesn't cry; but Kathryn has had the ground crumble out from under her. 'Kathryn' had never been pregnant before and the Captain had thought before this year that it wasn't even a possibility."
"A year ago she didn't want this, but now that she's had it she needs it."
The Doctor stared at him, "That's exactly it."
Chakotay stared down the Doctor, "I have to make this right. If it's a baby she wants, I can help her with that; but right now she's shutting me out."
"It has to be her decision, you have to make it her choice."
Chakotay nodded and left sickbay.
He made his way to Kathryn's quarters and rang the chime.
No answer. He rang it again and was about to use his override codes when he heard from inside, "Go away Chakotay."
Chakotay stood there unbelieving. "We have to work this out Kathryn. We can't ignore the baby that might have been."
The door opened and Chakotay saw the Captain approach him. "Stop yelling. Do we really want everyone knowing our issues."
Chakotay smirked, "So you're admitting there is an us? Mighty big of you Captain."
Kathryn dragged Chakotay into her quarters. "You have to stop Chakotay."
"You don't think this was hard on me too? That was my son as well."
Kathryn looked at him, "I guess it wasn't meant to be."
Chakotay was frustrated. "You are going to give up on everything because of what happened. What about us –!"
"There should never have been an 'us' Chakotay it was a mistake brought on by an alien race that invaded us."
Chakotay sighed, "There always was an us Kathryn. From the moment I beamed onto your bridge my heart was yours. The attraction was there for both of us." He sighed. "The only difference is, in the simulation we acted on what we both felt."
Kathryn began crying, "In this life, we can't act on it. I have to be the Captain. I can't worry about a husband and children, I have to worry about the crew."
He walked up and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Would you listen to yourself? I know how much our baby meant to you. I know that you wanted him – I know that you still want children."
"I can't take another loss Chakotay."
He shook his head. "We can do this. We can have it all, all you have to do is let yourself believe."
She had tears streaming down her cheeks now. "Give me some time Chakotay."
He walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry this happened to us Kathryn, but we can get through it."
Kathryn nodded, and Chakotay headed for the bridge, with all of a sudden yet again: Hope.
END CHAPTER 7
TBC IN CHAPTER 8