Chapter Two
End Of Flashback …
Cook County General Emergency Room …
"You know what, never mind. I'll read it in your report later." With that Meg turned on her heel and walked out.
How can I build a life with someone so reckless? What would I tell our children? She felt sick at the thought.
"Hey, Inspector," Ray called, jogging to catch up to her as Meg stalked through the waiting room.
"Not now, Detective. Not now." She threw up a hand to ward any father conversation off. Her gut roiled with emotion; anger, hurt, worry all vied for attention.
Blast that man, and blast me for loving him. Meg let her tears flow once her car door closed beside her. She didn't bother starting the engine, unable to see through the water works. It took ten minutes for her to get herself together enough to drive back to the consulate.
Why am I crying? I never cry, she wondered aloud as she drove. Between stops and starts she began examining the possible reasons: Stress, hunger, lack of sleep, PMS.
All of the above applied she realized. Superiors in Ottawa demanded everything and right now if seemed. Breakfast had been six or seven hours before. Since she'd started dating Ben late nights together had severely limited her sleep. That left PMS. Meg began to mentally calculate her cycle.
"Oh my! Four days overdue." Meg realized. She slammed on the breaks. A pick-up truck behind her honked, the driver leaning out the window to shout obscenities.
Meg heard none of it, didn't register the smell of hot rubber and distressed metal.
I couldn't be. I'm on the Pill. We used protection all but that first time, she recalled.
A knock on the passenger side window startled her, pulling her back to the matter at hand. She rolled the window down a quarter of an inch to let the concerned looking man who'd tapped speak.
"You alright, lady?" the dark haired man asked loudly.
"Yes. I'm very sorry." Meg checked her mirrors before merging back into traffic.
"Now what do I do?" she asked herself out loud. Should she buy a home pregnancy test? Should she make a doctor's appointment? Should she tell Ben?
Her anger and fear about his recklessness returned. Children needed a mother AND a father she felt. To raise a family she wanted a husband to share the burdens and the joys.
I can't tell him; not yet. Not until I know for certain I'm pregnant. I don't even know if he's the one I WANT to have a family with yet, she reasoned. That felt like a big lie even as it crossed her mind. She'd seen him with the elderly, with animals, and Constable Turnbull. His only weakness was women. Meg understood that now.
At the consulate Meg went about her business as much as her distracted mind would let her. She barely kept from snarling at the staff members. Crying she kept at bay by being angry.
Six O'clock PM …
Meg's Apartment …
Meg took a deep breath before she left the elevator car at her floor. Ben had called earlier in the afternoon to say Ray had dropped him and Dief at her place.
How am I going to face him? He know me too well, she wondered.
Her apartment door opened before Meg could dig out her house key. Ben stood in the doorway, Dief edging out around his legs. Meg met Ben's gaze, her throat tight with relief and a suppressed sob. When she met him at the door she threw her arms around him.
"I am SO angry at you," she said into his shoulder.
"My love, I'm sorry," he murmured into her ear.
"You don't even know what I'm angry about," she growled, pulling back to smack his arm.
"You feel that I don't place enough value on my life," he answered as he followed her inside.
"Damn right!" Meg turned on him, startling Diefenbaker who bristled. Ben stroked the wolf-dog's head to settle him down. Diefenbaker slunk off to his dog bed grumbling.
"How did this happen?" Meg asked more quietly. She gently touched the corner of the gauze pad taped to the side of his head.
"A suspect fired at Ray, missing thankfully. I was injured by a ricochet after the bullet struck a brick building." Ben went on to tell her that Ray had insisted he go to the ER because of blood loss.
"That still doesn't explain why you were running TOWARD an armed suspect. There are procedures for that sort of thing; American law officers for the job." Meg pointed out. Everything inside wanted to cry but she remained calm. Making Ben uncomfortable wouldn't accomplish anything. He had to see reason as clearly as she did.
"Ray needed my assistance," Ben answered simply, as if it were the only possible explanation in the universe. Meg sighed, resigned to their difference of opinion. He had just made up her mind for her.
A few days later …
Midnight …
"How am I supposed to break off the best relationship I've ever had?" Meg wondered as she lay next to a sleeping Ben.
"He's become my best friend and a damn fine lover." That thought took her back to those first few weeks after she'd asked him to coffee.
FLASHBACK …
"This is our third dinner this week," Meg mused as she sat across her small, kitchen table from Ben. Two tapered candles burned between them; the only illumination in the room.
"Is everything acceptable with your meal, Meg? You aren't eating."
How could she eat when all her thoughts centered on kissing him, on touching him and being touched? Her fingers flexed, wanting to run through the thick, soft hair at the back of his head.
"It's delicious. You're an excellent cook. I'm just distracted," she explained. Meg felt her face warm and the need to wet her lips. Ages had passed since anyone had aroused her like Ben. The attraction surpassed the physical. His sneaky humor and genuine warmth drew her in.
I want him so badly but what if he thinks it's too early? She swallowed a drink of ice water quickly, trying to calm herself.
It it's too soon then I've worn this itchy lace bra and panties set for nothing. Not to mention having everything waxed. That chilled Meg's flaming libido by half.
"I know the feeling. You are quite distracting." His voice sounded husky; surprising Meg. He surprised her again when he stood up and took her hand, pulling her into his arms.
"There isn't any music playing but would you like to dance?"
Meg nodded as she fell into step with his lead. Ben's left hand lay low at the small of her back. She let him pull her against him tighter and she laid her cheek against his firm shoulder.
"Oh, he smells good," Meg thought as they swayed slowly in the dark kitchen. Subtly, Meg maneuvered Ben's hand to rest more on her butt, trying to give him a hint.
"Ah, Meg, are you …?" he trailed off, hand frozen where she'd put it.
"Mmm hmmm," she hummed slowly.
"Unless you'd rather not. If it's too soon …" She pulled back, trying to gauge his reaction in the darkness.
"Meg," he said, voice playful. " shh …" With that Ben pulled her flush against his body, his arousal solid against her lower belly. Ben's kissed kept her mouth busy as his hands roamed her body freely, clothing disappearing in their wake.
For her part, Meg first ran her fingers through his hair. Ben led them out of the kitchen, down the hall to her bedroom by the glow of a small nightlight. Meg laughed when her legs hit the mattress and she fell backward.
"Too many layers," she smirked, sitting up to disrobe her Mountie. Ever obliging, Ben kicked off his shoes as she unbuttoned his flannel shirt. Their hands collided at his belt buckle.
"You have the honors," Ben mumbled as he pulled his t-shirt and tossed it in a corner.
Meg unbuckled the brown leather belt quickly but decided to take her torturously sweet time with the zipper. She watched him close those passion darkened eyes, his breathing ragged. One tooth at a time Meg dragged the zipper handle down, slowly releasing the tension his straining arousal caused the faded denim.
"Oh dear," she heard him mutter, voice strangled.
Meg yanked the zipper handle all the way down, having mercy on him. A moment later he'd discarded both his jeans and underwear. Ben stood before her as naked as the day he was born.
He's beautiful, she thought silently as her gaze traveled from his handsome face to his broad shoulders, down his chest and abdomen. The Fraser Family Jewels stared back at her. Looking into his face she saw apprehension.
I don't know what he's worried about with the size of THOSE crown jewels, Meg mused, barely hiding her amazement. She slipped her hand around Ben's wrist, pulling him onto the bed with her. Looking into his eyes as he lay beside her so close she said, "Let's just be together tonight, no worries, no expectations." She caressed his cheek before kissing him softly.
"Okay," he answered breathily, a soft smile on his face.
"Okay," Meg chuckled before moving in for another kiss. Benton nibbled and gently sucked his way down Meg's neck and across her collar bone. She couldn't get enough of his hands on her breast, his deft fingers discarding her bra in a fraction of a second.
She finally understood what all the paperback romance novels she'd read as a teen meant, all the flowery lines and euphemisms. Her body felt hot, his kisses hotter. Loins pooled with desire as Ben used those deft fingers to stroke her clit. Through her haze she touched him in return. She clasped his ass before sliding her fingers over his hips and south to his tight, erect penis. She trailed her thumb along the length until she held his full, firm balls in hand.
Damn! He's a stallion, Meg marveled a moment before pushing his fingers away and then guiding Ben inside her slick, swollen core. It took him only a heartbeat to delve deeper.
"Oh, Ben!" Meg gasped, her core muscles overwhelmed by his girth. She'd never had a lover this big or this deep before.
"Should I stop?" Ben huffed, frozen in place above her.
"NO!" Meg growled, taking a breath to relax and pulling her legs up farther around his waist.
"Meg, please," Ben ground out, his mouth near her ear, his breath fluttering along her sweat dampened skin.
"Yes, Ben, oh yes!" She arched against him before grabbing his ass for encouragement to thrust. He soon found a rhythm. With each onslaught he drover her closer to peak.
"I'm not done with him yet," she decided. Using a self-defense move from her days in Regina, Meg flipped Ben onto his back.
"My word, Meg," he managed as she pinned his wrists to the bed beneath them. When she went down on him hard, Ben could only pant in ecstasy.
A few, frantic minutes later Meg collapsed on top of him, lost in orgasmic bliss. It had been fireworks over Paris, zero to a hundred in a Ferrari and more for both of them. After a few minutes of catching their breath, Ben and Meg settled into her bed, her wearing his t-shirt.
"I hope Diefenbaker will be alright by himself tonight," Meg spoke softly as she nestled close to Ben.
"He'll be fine," he mumbled before laying one arm around her waist and cupping her bra-free breast.
"G'night, Meg," he mumbled again sleepily.
"Pleasant dreams, Ben," she wished him.