His heart pounded in his chest and for a moment he almost wished that he'd confided in Mrs. Woodson. He'd never really confided in her before. She was after all, his employee and it was best to keep things on a personal level. But over the years he'd come to think of her as a friend. And as friends it would have been nice to open up to her and release his fears about his relationship with Mel; to hear a different point of view would have been, at the very least, refreshing. But like so many other moments in his life, he'd missed his chance.
Damn that Mel for putting him in such a predicament; for giving him such feelings of apprehension apprehensive. The sooner he talked to her and got the dreaded discussion/argument about their relationship out of the way, the sooner he'd be able to run by Frasier's, pick up Daphne's belongings and be on his way back to the cabin.
It had only been a short time since he'd left her but it felt like months. He missed her so much that he physically ached. It was that thought, that incredible urge to see her again that motivated him; gave him strength. He could do this. He had to do it, if only for himself. Perhaps he could never have Daphne but he would have something else; his freedom.
He drove on for what seemed like an eternity, but was in fact only about fifteen minutes, and when he reached the familiar steel grey and tan apartment complex, his chest began to tighten. Just looking at the home of Mel Karnofsky was enough to set him on the verge of hyperventilation. But as soon as the all too familiar feeling began, he fought to control it. He couldn't break down; not just yet.
For a split second he wondered what might happen if, in fact, the dreaded meeting with Mel were to go badly ( and he knew without a doubt that it would) and he returned to the cabin (and Daphne) even more wounded than before, like a wounded soldier returning to his home.
Surely Daphne would see how broken he'd become and ask him what was troubling him. Would he say nothing in response and leave it at that, as he'd done with Mrs. Woodson? Or would he break down and tell her everything (except the he'd fallen in love with her the moment he'd laid eyes on her)? He could only imagine her reaction.
It could, of course, go two ways. She could simply be the friend that she'd always been; offering a sympathetic smile and a soft "I'm sorry". It was what was expected of her, what she'd always done. However, she might completely empathize with him; perhaps kiss his cheek, softly touch his hair and then take him into her arms and hold him, letting him know that she was there for him and would always be there for him. Oh how he wished that would happen.
Slowly the wonderful scenario faded away, bringing him back to the harsh reality. He looked up at the home of Mel Karnofksy; his soon to be ex-fiancé. The meeting was not going to go well. It would not go well at all. In fact it would be much worse than he anticipated; he knew that for certain. But if, when it was over, it meant that he would be free of Mel's wrath, it would be worth it.
With a sigh, he unfastened his seat belt and climbed out of the car. His stomach was tied in knots and his heart was beating faster than a heart should have a right to beat. And, as he made his way to the door, his head began to cloud, over with stuffiness, most likely brought on by the incredible stress of what he was about to do.
Mel did that to him; made him feel anxious, second-rate, self-doubting and insignificant. Perhaps she'd always made him feel those things. If he'd felt this way before, he hadn't noticed it. That's what love did to a person; made them feel things they wouldn't normally feel and ignore the bad feelings. In Daphne's case it was the complete opposite. The things she made him feel were feelings that he cherished; that he wanted to wrap around him like a warm blanket. Even if she didn't know it, she made him feel loved. And his love for her made him feel those things again and again.
He did his best to carry that feeling; that oh so wonderful feeling with him as he was whisked to the top floor and minutes later, found himself standing at Mel's door. As long as he had the feeling that Daphne brought him, he was prepared for anything.