This took forever to figure out what was going to happen, but hopefully it's satisfactory. Thank my new laptop for getting this up! =D
Mike Baxter. That was his name.
He looked like a classic troublemaker at first glance. He was a little bigger than most of the fifth graders, with gray eyes and unruly brown hair sprouting every which way on his head. Mike had this aura of bad attitude than cloaked his every move. The quieter kids, the ones more easily intimidated, avoided Mike like the plague. The other class clowns didn't try to tangle with him either, leaving him alone to stew in his seat by the corner. He always sat in the corner, in every single class. He caused trouble at every opportunity, and never seemed to care when he racked up detention after detention.
But me being my ornery self, I decided that since he was so moody and dangerous it was nothing less than my supreme moral duty to befriend him. Ella was always bemused by this, preferring to have the types of friends that would indulge in her passion for discussing clothes and celebrity gossip and cute boys. She left me alone in my endeavors to become Mike Baxter's first friend.
I started my mission off as soon as possible, aided by my friend Jack. It was lunchtime, and Mike was sitting by himself on a bench by the fence, slowly eating a sandwich.
"Whatcha doing?" I asked cheerfully, plopping down on the bench beside him.
Mike looked up, suspicious eyes switching between Jack and I. He said nothing, only continued to tear away at his sandwich.
"I'm Max, and this is Jack," I continued, determined to make Mike talk to me if it was the last thing I did. Jack smiled at Mike, but Mike barely spared him a glance.
"I know," was all he muttered. "Max Ride, Jack King. You're in my class."
"Right!" I agreed enthusiastically, my confidence boosted by his recognition. "So Jack and me have a friend named Omega who likes baseball, and-"
"He's obsessed with baseball," Jack interrupted emphatically.
I shot him a look. "Yeah, whatever, but anyway, we wanted to know if you wanted to play with us," I finished. "We have a sort of game we made up that involves a lot of hitting and catching and running and tackling."
"We call it Idiotball," Jack supplied helpfully. "Cause we look like crazies, running around playing it."
Mike just stared at us. "Why?" he asked eventually. He looked suspicious that we were even talking to him.
I couldn't really blame him. No one voluntarily had before.
"Because we want you to," Jack explained gently, smiling at Mike in his usual winning way. "I think you'll like it," he added encouragingly. Jack was a quiet kid, but a charmer all the same. He had won over half the girls in our grade with his genuine personality and that beautiful, beautiful smile. Some were practically ready to sign marriage agreements. Not even Mike could withstand the power of that lovely, powerful smile.
"Okay," he finally agreed, sounding slightly surprised at his own answer.
Jack and I whooped in celebration of our success, slapping a hasty high five. Mike only stared, obviously confused, as we grabbed him by either arm and dragged him towards the field where Omega and Darla were waiting.
"Finally!" Darla greeted us, smiling teasingly as she watched Jack and I drag Mike forward. "Meg and I thought you had ditched us."
Omega instantly scowled. "I told you not to call me that, Darling," he accused. "Meg is not my name."
"Darling isn't mine," Darla retorted.
"Close enough," Omega muttered, concentrating back on the baseball he was tossing up and down. I snorted, grinning as I watched his blue eyes unwaveringly track the ball's path.
"Let's get on with the Idiotball!" I declared, charging at Omega. I swiped the ball neatly from the air just as his hand was about to close on it, then darted away as fast as I could.
"Wait, aren't you gonna teach me how to play?" Mike demanded, sounding confused again.
"It's harder to figure out listening to us explain than it is to just play," Jack advised, clapping a friendly hand on Mike's shoulder. "Trust me."
"Jack, you're it!" Darla squealed, poking him sharply in the shoulder.
Jack pulled a face at her, and she giggled loudly as she scampered away. "Darlaaa," he whined. "We haven't even been playing for thirty seconds yet!"
"Stop complaining and do it!" I yelled as I raced by, Omega hot on my heels.
Jack scowled, but submitted to the humiliation of somersaulting thirty six times before staggering drunkenly off to try to catch Darla.
"What am I supposed to do?" Mike yelled, starting to sound frustrated. He stood alone in the midst of our chaotic game, obviously struggling to comprehend the rules— or, I should say, lack of rules.
Omega finally caught me by the elbow, yanking me backwards into his grasp as he tried to pry the ball from my fingers. Unfortunately (or fortunately, if you were talking to the girly girl side of me that was crushing on him and secretly squealing that he was holding me quite firmly against his chest) he managed to succeed, and within seconds he had thrown the ball to Mike. "Catch!" he yelled, somewhat unhelpfully.
Mike caught, then stood there looking a little at a loss as to what to do next.
"Run!" Omega screamed, struggling to hold me back as I fought to break free of his arms. Stupid baseball addict had crazy arm strength, even in fifth grade. "Run for your damn life, Baxter!"
I broke free, and barreled at Mike as fast as my feet could go. His eyes widened in alarm for a moment, but then a sly grin curled at his mouth as he turned tail and ran. I chased him past Darla, who was shrieking flirtatiously as she tried to evade Jack's uncoordinated attempts to tag her, and Omega, who had started trying to round all the bases while I wasn't looking. The sneak. That could've won him the game if I hadn't tagged him in time! As it was, he only managed to round two before I had tagged him, and was forced to run backwards after me as I resumed tracking down Mike.
Ah, the joys of Idiotball.
We spent many lunchtimes playing just like this. Slowly, Mike began to open up more to us. He seemed most comfortable around me or Jack, not preferring to talk alone with Omega or Darla. As the weeks passed by, I learned more and more about my new friend.
Mike Baxter was a troubled child. Orphaned at an early age, he had been tossed between relatives who didn't want him for years before finally being picked up by children's protective services and shoved into the hectic, ever changing life of a moody foster child. The reasons his own extended family didn't want to keep him were the same ones given by frustrated foster parents as they handed him back to CPS over and over. He brooded, he never smiled unless something bad had happened, he delighted in their anger and despair, he was an antisocial menace. The list of complaints ran on and on.
Mike determinedly kept up his signature scowl through it all.
Jack and I didn't care. I was just plain stubborn, and Jack was genuinely a good, friendly person. Together we managed to tear down quite a few of Mike's walls, and got closer to him than I think anyone ever had before. Of course, Mike wasn't used to being open with people, and he still enjoyed being difficult, but that was just part of who he was. The three of us became closer than ever. It was rare when we weren't hanging out after school, or picking each other for partners in a class project.
While Jack and I grew closer to Mike, Darla started to resent the moody boy. She didn't ever grow used to his attitude or behavior, only tolerated his company with weak little smiles. Now he was taking both her crush and her best friend from her, and she didn't like it.
And Darla was never one to just stay unhappy. She took action.
"Hey Max, do you want to go down to Baskin Robbins for ice cream?" Darla asked me, smiling as she adjusted her grip on her backpack strap. It was a few minutes after our last class, and we were both busily shoveling things from locker to backpack.
I grinned back at my best friend, nodding enthusiastically. "That sounds good," I agreed. "I could do with some ice cream. That math test was killer."
Darla giggled, her face lighting up as we both stood and started off down the hallway. "Oh please, that was probably a piece of cake for you, Math Queen," she teased. "I still don't understand how you can never remember your locker combination, but you manage to memorize all of those formulas."
"The formulas make sense," I objected. "It's my addition skills that need work."
This only prompted more giggles from her. "Oh yeah, like when Mrs. Gallander asked what forty seven plus thirteen was and you proudly answered with a firm 'fifty one'," Darla recalled.
I grimaced. "Don't remind me," I pleaded. "That was a trick question."
Darla snorted, looking at me skeptically. "How was that even remotely a trick ques-" she started to say.
I cut her off, my attention suddenly caught by Mike standing up at his locker, zipping his blue backpack shut with a small frown etched on his face. "Hey, it's Mike," I said to Darla, grinning again. "We should ask him if he wants to come with us for ice cream."
Suddenly, Darla's happy glow dimmed a little. She slowed down a little, looking over at where Mike stood slinging his backpack over one shoulder. "Oh, well Max, I was kinda hoping we could just go by oursel-"
"Mike!" I called out, grabbing his attention. "Wanna come with us to ice cream?"
Mike looked up at us, his gaze switching between me and Darla. "Sure," he replied. "Got nothing better to do."
"Oh gee, thanks," I snorted. "That makes me feel so good. Come on, we can go pick up Jack and Omega from their lockers on the way too." I started forward to fall into step with Mike, only to realize that Darla had stopped walking. "Darls?" I asked, confused at her sudden halt. "You coming?"
Darla looked at me, her blank expression abruptly morphing into another smile. "Yeah, of course. I was the one who suggested it, Max," she answered brightly. "Let's go find Meggy and Jack."
I laughed, linking my elbow through hers as we started off towards the boys' lockers, Mike walking close at my other side. "Don't let Omega hear you calling him that," I warned her teasingly. "Meggy sure won't like that."
"What did you call me?" a voice behind me demanded, sounding half amused and half indignant. I whirled around, my arm flying out of Darla's as I turned to find the source of the voice. It was Omega of course, standing just outside the door of his sixth period English class. He raised an eyebrow at all of us, but his eyes were locked on me. I could already feel myself getting flustered.
Great. This was just great. I had been reduced to a blushing idiot by Omega simply looking at me.
"Uh, umm, I said," I stuttered, my tongue suddenly deciding it would be a nice time to glue itself to the roof of my mouth. "I said…"
Darla apparently realized that I wasn't going to be answering Omega's perfectly simple and reasonable question anytime in the near future, because she quickly came to my rescue. "She said Meggy," Darla informed him cheekily. "Are you deaf as well as stupid? Hit with one too many baseballs to the head?"
"Shut up, Darling," he retorted immediately. "I was asking Max."
"Well I answered," Darla replied airily. "We're going for ice cream now. Come on." And without further ado, she pulled my arm back through hers and tugged me down the hallway towards Jack's locker. Mike and Omega took a few seconds to start following us, and Darla took advantage of this lead to hiss in my ear, "You are so explaining what all that was about later, missy."
I didn't have to ask what she meant by 'that'. It was pretty obvious she meant my airheaded, idiotic display of my inability to interact with Omega without losing my common sense. It was pathetic. I just sighed, and she squeezed my arm sympathetically.
Eventually, what had started out as Darla and I going for ice cream became Jack, Omega, Mike, Darla and I getting ice cream, going to the park, and walking up and down the streets for an hour talking about absolutely nothing like normal fifth graders before finally splitting off. Omega had baseball practice, Jack had a guitar lesson, and Mike had meandered off somewhere by himself, hands stuck in his pockets and looking like he didn't give a damn where he was off to next. Darla dragged me back to her house and sat me down in her room on the bed. I avoided her gaze as she plopped down next to me, staring me down as she waited patiently for me to begin. "Well?" she prompted. "What's up with Omega? Should I be reviewing bridesmaid dresses?"
I groaned, falling backwards onto her pillows. "Shut up, Darla," I pleaded. "It's nothing like that. I just have a tiny crush on him."
"A tiny crush?" Darla scoffed, raising her eyebrows at me knowingly. "Max, you couldn't even talk when he was just looking at you!"
"Okay, so maybe it's a big crush," I snapped. "Whatever. Nothing's gonna happen anyway, so it doesn't matter." I turned to stare into her mirrors adorning her closet door. Plain brown eyes, unruly hair, thin shoulders clad in a green t-shirt. There was nothing special here.
"Nothing's gonna happen?" Darla echoed in disbelief. "What are you talking about?" Darla crawled over on the bed and stared into the mirror next to me. "You're both athletes, you're already friends, you've got tons in common," she listed off.
"That's not the point," I interrupted. I wanted to stop her before she got too enthusiastic about the idea. Once Darla got going on something, it took a lot to convince her of a different opinion. And I happened to have a very different opinion on this matter. "I am not interested in telling Omega I like him," I informed her firmly.
Darla's jaw actually dropped, as if the very idea was ludicrous. "What? Why not?" she demanded. "He probably likes you too! And you'll never know if you don't ask!"
"I don't want to know," I retorted. "What's going to happen if we both happen to like each other anyway? We're in fifth grade. It's not like he would ask me out or something."
"Maybe he would," Darla protested. "You don't know that."
"And," I continued pointedly, ignoring her comment, "I don't want a boyfriend anyway. It's ridiculous to be dating someone at age 11. And it would be weird if I told him and he didn't like me anyway." I turned away from the mirror decisively, wanting to close the subject. "I'll get over it eventually. It's not a big deal," I concluded.
"Max, it's pretty obvious that you really like him," Darla insisted. "Why would you not even try to ask him if he feels the same?"
"Omega probably loves baseball more than anyone anyway," I replied flippantly, trying to brush off her question and ignore my stomach somersaulting at her blunt remark. "I am not going to tell him I like him anytime soon, and neither are you, right Darla?"
"But-" she tried to argue.
"Right, Darla?" I repeated, a little more forcefully this time. This was important to me. I didn't want my stupid crush ruining my friendship with Omega. And I most certainly didn't want him to ask me to be his girlfriend or anything. Neither of us were ready for a relationship. I mean, come on. It was less than two years ago that we were still only in single digit ages!
Darla sighed. "Right," she agreed reluctantly.
I smiled at her. "Thank you," I said softly. There was a moment of companionable silence, and then my mischievous side got the better of me. "While we're on the subject though, I would like to add that a certain someone I know who may or may not be sitting beside me right now has been showing some severe symptoms of crushing on a certain Jack King I know," I remarked innocently.
That set her off, just as I knew it would.
"Maaaaax!" she squealed, slapping my shoulder in retaliation. "I so do not!"
I just stared at her, waiting for her coy façade to crack. Darla could never keep a secret for long. She was a horrible liar.
And within seconds, she gave up. "Gah, you're so nosy," she admonished, tossing her hair dramatically. I just grinned, allowing her to go on with a faux sigh and an admitted, "Okay, I like Jack. What of it? He's always with you and Mike now, anyway," Darla complained.
"No he's not," I disagreed, laughing at her dramatics. "Jack is friends with all of us, Darls."
"Yeah, I know," she sighed. "I just feel like you three are always together now. I never get you to myself, Max."
"I'm with you right now," I pointed out quizzically. I didn't understand what she was getting at.
Darla just sighed again. She opened her mouth, looking like she wanted to say something else, but then decided against it and just smiled again. "Whatever," she said finally, jumping off the bed. "Come on, I recorded West Side Story. Let's go watch it."
I hopped off the bed and quickly followed her, laughing and talking as we made ourselves a bowl of popcorn and settled down with the movie. Mike, Jack, and Omega were not brought up again for the rest of the night. I thought she had dropped the subject, decided that I was right and that Mike and her got equal amounts of Jack's and my time and attention.
But was too late when I finally realized how she really felt about Mike.
"Hey Max," Omega greeted me, smiling as he plopped down beside me on the bench. It was break between fifth and sixth period, and I was spending my time waiting on a bench outside the history classroom.
I looked up, feeling a returning grin already surfacing as giddy bubbles rose in my stomach. "Hi Omega," I replied brightly, looking him boldly in the eyes before quickly glancing back down to the binder in my hands. Ever since my chat with Darla about my crush on Omega a few days ago, it had seemed ten times harder to act normally around him.
He ignored my less than suave behavior, choosing to continue smiling instead. Bless his heart. "Do you have any plans after school today?" Omega inquired.
"Well," I started to say, thinking of my promise to go for ice cream with Jack and Mike.
Omega interrupted me. "'Cause I need to get a new bat before baseball season starts up again, and I wanted to know if you wanted to go to Athletics with me," he explained, looking somewhat nervous as he spoke.
My eyes snapped to his face again. "With you?" I repeated stupidly.
Omega smiled. "With me," he confirmed, looking amused.
I fought the urge to smack myself in the face, instead going for a cool smile. "Sounds good," I heard myself say. "I wanted to check out the cleats before I dragged my mom there this weekend. Mine got torn in my last game."
"Ouch." Omega winced sympathetically, fully understanding how close sports equipment can grow to one's heart. Torn cleats was practically a murder case in my eyes. "Yeah, we can look over their soccer cleats too," he agreed.
"Thanks," I replied, smiling at him again. I couldn't seem to stop doing that. Omega had asked me to go with him after school. Alone. Admittedly, a trip to the sports store wasn't exactly romantic, but I was content to go if it meant spending time with Omega. Just because I didn't want a boyfriend didn't mean that my crush was any less real and embarrassingly in control of my actions.
But…
"I would love to go with you, but I already have plans with Mike and Jack," I explained regretfully. "I can't just ditch them."
I had expected an 'aww, that's too bad. Some other time maybe?' type of reply, but that is definitely not what I got.
Instead, Omega's eyebrows furrowed, and he looked suddenly serious. "Oh," he said, "actually, I was going to tell you about that Max."
"What?" I asked, confused by this turn of events. "Tell me what?"
"Well…" Omega hesitated, biting his lip slightly. "Mike has done some pretty strange things lately."
"What?" I asked dubiously. "Like what? What do you mean, 'strange'?" Mike wasn't exactly the most normal of kids, but his behavior had only improved since we had befriended him. He was smiling a lot more, and had stopped causing trouble in classes. Well, he had stopped causing as much trouble. There was still a lot of room for improvement where his classroom manners were concerned. He would never be a model student, but at least he wasn't in detention every day anymore.
"Like…" Omega paused again, still looking unsure. "I don't know exactly how to say this," he admitted.
I rolled my eyes, garnering up the confidence to shoulder bump him teasingly. "Well, spit it out," I prompted. "There's only a few minutes before break en-"
"Mike beat up a couple third graders," Omega blurted out suddenly.
I froze, my smile dying on my lips. "What?" I heard my voice ask, sounding far away.
Omega just stared at me, obviously unwilling to repeat what he said. But I was in shock, unable to process what he had just said, and he was forced to say it again. "Mike beat up two third graders after school yesterday," he said softly, looking regretful to be the one telling me this. "They were annoying him, yelling stupid insults and stuff, and he just turned and started throwing punches. I'm sorry, Max," he added quietly.
Was he joking? How could he say such a thing? But there was no hint of a lack of solemnity on Omega's face. He was dead serious."But… how? Why?" I whispered, my voice sounding broken. Omega winced as I continued to speak. "Why would Mike do that to a couple of little kids?"
"I don't know," Omega sighed, looking away from me. He adjusted the brim of his baseball cap, fidgeting slightly. "But he did. Jerry Welsch and Nathan Gerring."
That tore even more at my heart, and I heard myself gasp softly. Jerry and Nathan were mischievous little kids, cute and funny with matching bright blue eyes and spiky blonde hair cuts. They were inseparable, and had been known on more than one occasion to team up and bother older kids to the point of chasing them, laughing and shrieking, away.
But nobody ever tried to hurt them before. They were only seven and a half years old. They barely knew any better, only that it was funny to watch the older kids get irritated, and even more fun to have them run after them, yelling out meaningless, empty threats they could giggle over together later.
And Mike had… Mike had beaten… Mike had hit them?
I couldn't believe it.
And yet, I could.
He had lashed out at other kids before. After math one day, Daryl Stogund had made a snide comment on Mike's inability to answer a question in class, and Mike had whirled around and socked him hard in the arm. Daryl could barely move it for five minutes, the muscle was so sore from the hit. And when Vince Johnson was rounding third in a baseball game during PE, Mike blatantly tripped the boy to make sure he didn't run home. He had his violent moments, that was for sure. Mike had as bad a temper as me, one that flared up and refused to die down, and he was just as strong as I was. He had the potential to really hurt someone.
Could those someones be Jerry and Nathan? They were only in third grade. How could he do such a thing to those little kids?
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I could see the two boys in mention leaving the hallway that led away from the playground and heading back towards their classroom across campus. My heart stopped.
Both of them sported bright blue casts on their left arms. There was a dark bruise spreading across Nathan's cheek, and Jerry had a band aid taped rakishly across his small forehead.
Mike had really hurt them.
I forgot about Omega standing beside me as I stared after the little boys, trudging through the hallways with their casted arms tucked in slings at their sides. He had broken their arms. Mike had broken two little boys' arms.
I had just spoken to him at lunch, less than two hours ago, and he had been smiling and laughing without a care in the world. How could he be so… monstrous?
I had to find him. Now.
"Max? Where are you going?" Omega called after me, standing there in confusion as I stormed away.
"To find Mike," I growled back. "And yell at him until his ears bleed." I didn't hear Omega's reply, if he gave any, as I broke into a run and started towards the English classroom, which I knew was Mike's next class.
How could he?... Rage filled my ears with a roar that drowned out everything else. The campus blurred by as teachers yelled at me to slow down and stop running, as I jostled past kids holding binders, as I got closer and closer to Mike.
I found him standing outside the classroom, leaning casually back against the wall with his eyes closed. There was at least a ten foot radius on every side of him where nobody wanted to stand, and now I finally understood why. I thought Mike was just misunderstood. I thought he just needed friends to help him shape up a little. I thought I knew who he was.
I thought wrong.
Mike's eyes flew open as soon as my hands hit his shoulders, shoving him roughly back against the wall. "What the hell?" he hissed, dark eyes glaring at me. "Max? What's wrong with you?" he demanded, brushing my hands away from him and standing up straight. I still stood about two inches taller than Mike though, so this change of stance did nothing to intimidate me.
"What is wrong with you?" I countered, glaring just as fiercely back at him. "How could you do that?"
Mike just blinked coolly at me, unaffected by my anger. "I don't know what you're talking about," he informed me haughtily, his mouth settling into a cold sneer that I had never had directed at me before. "You're the one who came up and just shoved me against a wall for no reason."
"No reason?" I scoffed back. "I have plenty of reason, Mike! I know what you did to Nathan and Jerry! Omega told me!" I stared hard at him, waiting for his suave façade to crack and for the panic to start bubbling out. This could get him suspended, or expelled. It really should have already. Why hadn't it? Didn't Nathan or Jerry tell anybody that Mike had given them those injuries? Or had he threatened them into keeping quiet?
"Who are those kids?" was Mike's bored sounding reply. "I don't know what garbage Omega has been feeding you, but you're pretty gullible if you believed it, Max."
This did nothing to satiate my anger. It only made it worse. Much, much worse. I swear the edges of my vision went white with fury as I glared as hard as I could at the person who I thought was my friend. "Don't talk about Omega like that," I snapped. "At least he doesn't lie to me! Or beat up innocent third graders!"
There. I said it. It was out in the open, for Mike to hear that I knew of his misdeeds. What would he do now?
Mike just raised an eyebrow at me. "Beat up third graders?" he repeated slowly. Mike's dark eyes narrowed, and he crossed his arms as he stared calculatingly at me. I stood firm, not allowing my gaze to waver from his. "It sounds to me like Omega really is lying to you, Maxie," Mike said finally. "He told you that I beat up third graders? Why would I waste my time doing something stupid like that?"
"Because they were bothering you, and we both know what a horrible temper you have! You've hit people before, Mike. Why should I think you wouldn't do it again?" I demanded hotly. It really annoyed me that he was insulting Omega so much. What reason did Omega really have to lie to me about this? This wasn't exactly a small matter. And I had seen Nathan and Jerry myself. They were extremely beat up. "I saw them with my own eyes. You really hurt them badly," I added accusingly.
"You really think that little of me, Max?" Mike shot back bitingly, glaring more heatedly than before. "You think I would do that? Shows how much of a friend you are!"
"I thought you were my friend! I thought I was your friend," I retorted. "But my friends don't hurt innocent little kids!"
Mike laughed harshly, taking a step forward and getting in my face. I stood stock still, not letting my glare lessen at all as he came closer. "Let me tell you one thing, Maxie," Mike said, his voice poisonously soft. "I didn't think my friends would believe such complete lies without a second thought. If you want to think I'm the reason a couple of kids look like they're beat up, be my guest. Just don't yell at me for it, since I didn't do it," he hissed.
I refused to let my resolve waver. "I don't want to yell at you anymore," I replied evenly. "I don't want to talk to you ever again. So you can consider me off the friends list for you, Mike." I narrowed my eyes at him, then stepped back. "I'm going to be late for history," I continued, "so I just want to say one last thing. You should be ashamed of yourself. I have a temper just like yours, but at least I can control it." I turned around and started to walk away, my anger still simmering through my veins.
Mike's laughing voice didn't make me stop, not even as he yelled after me. "You've never controlled your temper before, Max, and you never will!" he shouted. I ignored the strange looks the other kids sent me as I made my way proudly out of the hallway, and headed back towards my own classroom.
I had to tell Jack about this. He would not be able to believe it.
I couldn't get Mike's voice out of my head though, even through my fury. I could control my temper, and very well in my opinion. I had never beat up a pair of third graders for being annoying, after all, and that was more than Mike could claim. He had no right to say that to me. I was in total control of my temper.
So why did I feel like I so badly needed reassurance of that?
"Mike did what?" Jack asked dubiously, his eyebrows furrowing.
"Yes, he did," I confirmed, fuming. I paced up and down the back hallway, my backpack thumping against my shoulder blades as a result of my irritated, choppy steps. I had grabbed Jack by the wrist and dragged him out here behind the art classroom as soon as I could after school, intent on telling him about my discovery about Mike's true colors. "Isn't that awful?"
"Yeah, but… Mike wouldn't do that," Jack replied firmly. "Where did you hear that?"
I threw my hands up in the air in disgust. "I didn't think he would do that either, but Omega told me he did! Why would Omega lie to me? Why?" I demanded fiercely.
Jack simply stared evenly back at me, unruffled by my outburst. "I don't know why he would do that, Max," he admitted. "But something about this just doesn't ring true. We can't go jumping to conclusions because of a rumor Omega heard."
"I can jump to any conclusion I want in this case," I declared, crossing my arms angrily. "I saw Jerry and Nathan. They have casts and bruises and cuts and everything! How could Mike do that to third graders? He broke their arms! So don't go blaming me for jumping to conclusions!"
Now Jack started to look angry. "Oh, I forgot that you're Max Ride," he snapped, eyes flashing with anger. "You can't find out all the facts first to anything. You just leap to conclusions and go charging off! It's practically your middle name! We should just call you Maximum 'Charging Off' Ride," Jack sneered.
I was taken aback by his attitude. This was a side I had never seen of Jack, and I sure as hell didn't like it half as much as his normal sweet, reasonable persona. It reminded me of the way Mike had acted when I confronted him earlier. "What are you talking about?" I shot back, unable to hide the hurt in my voice. "I don't charge off!"
Jack softened a little. "Okay, maybe it's not a bad thing most of the time," he conceded, the tense anger in the set of his shoulders fading slightly. "But I think we should ask Mike about this, Max. Hear his side of the story."
I hesitated, torn between my fury at what Omega had told me and being persuaded by Jack's calm, logical reasoning. And I had already gone and yelled at Mike. I couldn't just go back a class period later and ask him for his story. "I… I don't know," I hedged. "I don't know if I can talk to him yet after hearing that from Omega."
Jack rolled his eyes. "You're being silly, Max," he chided me. "I'll go talk to him if you won't."
"Wait, Jack," I stopped him. I couldn't just let him go and find out from Mike that I had already yelled at him for what I had found out about him. That would make things worse.
"Yes, Max?" Jack asked cautiously. He took one look at the expression on my face and started to brace himself for anything, I could tell.
I took a short breath in to give myself a little extra courage. "I kinda already… charged off," I admitted quietly.
Jack groaned, slapping his hand across his forehead in despair. "Why would you do that?" he demanded.
"You were the one who said it's my middle name!" I protested weakly. "I couldn't think. I was furious."
"I'm going to go talk to him, and find out what's happening," Jack informed me, sounding resigned to playing peacemaker once more. "I think he said something about going to the park instead of coming for ice cream with us in sixth period. Probably because of you yelling at him?" Jack guessed. I winced guiltily, and he sighed in resignation. "I'll get back to you on that, okay?"
"Okay," I muttered, feeling somewhat abashed. Of course, I had no reason to believe that Omega was lying to me, but in retrospect it probably wasn't the best idea to go blindly off and scream at Mike for it.
Whoops.
I would just have to rely on Jack's magic abilities at soothing people's anger to save me this time. And in the meantime, I would have to go find Omega and scrape more information out of him about this whole thing. Was Jack right? Had Omega lied to me?
I really, really hoped not. How could he lie to me? He was my friend, my best friend. He wouldn't just tell me that Mike had done such a horrible thing for no reason… would he?
But when I finally found Omega again, all of my hopes were instantly crushed.
"Omega!" I called, breaking into a jog as I spotted him sitting alone in the school baseball dugout. I had known he would be there. It was his usual haunt after school, especially when he was thinking hard about something. And if he was lying, I had no doubt he would be there. As soon as he spotted me, Omega jumped instantly to his feet, his eyes snapping to mine and then quickly glancing away. He shuffled his glove uneasily in his hands, and my heart sank.
He was feeling guilty.
I already knew what was going to happen. And judging by the way Omega looked as if he was preparing to flee, I knew that he did too.
I stopped in my tracks, staring at those blue eyes I trusted so much. "You lied to me, didn't you?" I heard myself ask, sounding far away, detached.
Omega winced. "Max," he started to say, sounding like he was gearing up to fight for his innocence. But I wasn't about to let him start. This was personal. He had crushed my trust under those baseball cleats of his.
And it hurt. It hurt badly.
"I trusted you!" I yelled, glaring fiercely at Omega. "You're my friend, and you lied to my face without even blinking! How could you do something like that? How?"
Omega flinched, his whole face scribbled with conflict. "Max, I'm sorry," he tried to say.
"No, you don't get to apologize!" I cut him off, crossing my arms and turning away angrily. "You don't get to say anything else to me. I have to go find Mike and hope he can forgive me for listening to your filthy lies."
"It was Darla!" Omega protested, obviously fishing for something to keep me from charging off.
It worked. I stopped dead in my tracks, my arms falling limply to my sides as I slowly turned back around to face him again. "What?" I asked, deadly calm as I stared him down.
Omega swallowed thickly, blue eyes full of regret as he stared earnestly back at me. "It was," he insisted, a hint of relief tingeing his voice. "Darla was jealous that you and Jack were spending all that time with Mike and leaving us in the dust, and she told me that I had to help her get you guys back…" Omega trailed off weakly, watching my face intently for a reaction.
Darla set up this web of lies. Sweet, loveable, friendly Darla. My best friend Darla.
And Omega had just gone along with it.
"Why did she rope you into it?" I demanded, trying to hold onto my anger as it tried to slip away. I needed my anger now, because if I wasn't angry I was going to be upset, and there was no way I was letting Omega see me break down and cry after all of this. "Why didn't she just tell me she wanted to spend more time with me?"
"She did tell you," Omega disagreed. "Darla kept trying to get you to herself more often, but you would always include Mike or me or Jack into the bargain as well. She just wanted your attention, and he was taking all of it."
I let this sink in for a moment. "But I didn't… she never…" I trailed off mid-protest, trying to think of how I could've possibly missed the signs of Darla's jealousy. It had just never occurred to me that she didn't like me including everyone when we got together. She was such a bubbly, friendly, happy person that I had never thought she wouldn't want to hang out with everyone. We were all friends, weren't we? "Darla doesn't get jealous over me," I finally decided on, narrowing my eyes at Omega.
"Oh yeah?" Omega actually snorted, looking skeptically at me. "Darla is possessive over her friends, Max. Mike was threatening in her eyes, and she wanted me to help her get you away from him."
"Why you?" I demanded again. "You didn't answer me the first time, Omega."
Suddenly, he looked uncomfortable. And then out of nowhere— he started blushing.
Yeah. Blushing.
And then it got worse. He started stammering out incoherent sentences too.
"Well… umm, she said… err, well, basically… Darla thought… you know, since you… uh…"
This was not the appropriate time or place for Omega to start acting like a little girl. I needed answers. Now.
"Omega!" I snapped, interrupting his useless mumbling. "Why did Darla want you to feed me this?"
"Because she knew you liked me and thought it'd be more effective coming from me, since it obviously wasn't working coming from her!" Omega blurted out.
Dead. Silence.
She… told him that?
"What?" I croaked, suddenly unable to pull together any shred of anger. All I felt was emptiness. Complete emptiness. "She told you that?"
"Yeah," Omega muttered, reaching up to grab his neck. He was embarrassed, I could tell.
Well that sucked for him. I was mortified. "Oh my God," I moaned, clapping my hands over my face to hide my reddening cheeks. "Why would she do that to me?"
"Well, she also mentioned that she was going to help you out by telling me that, since apparently you told her you were never going to say anything yourself," Omega supplied helpfully.
"Great," I groaned. I dropped my hands, summoning up the acting skills inside of myself to glare at Omega again. "I don't feel like that anymore," I informed him as coldly as I could. I couldn't let him think that I was still vulnerable to him, even after all this. My trust for both of them had been crushed.
Omega only stared levelly at me. "Okay," he replied, his voice completely calm. "I deserve that."
"You don't deserve anything," I snarled, turning on my heel again and preparing to walk away. "I'm going to find Mike and apologize. I can't believe I trusted you. I can't believe you would do that with my trust. What is wrong with you?" I demanded, fisting my hands at my sides. Ah, there was the returning anger I needed. Just in time.
"I'm sorry," Omega said behind me. "I shouldn't have done it."
"No, you shouldn't have," I agreed quietly, not letting any emotion into my voice.
I had to find Mike. It didn't matter that he was probably furious with me, and I hadn't give Jack enough time to calm him down properly. But I couldn't just sit back and wait for Jack's charms to sink in. I had to fix this myself, or I would be losing all of my friends today.
Omega. Darla. Mike. Would I lose Jack too, after all of this?
I was afraid to find out. But I had to, and I had to do it right now.
"You're coming with me," I informed Omega suddenly, reaching over and grabbing him roughly by the elbow. He barely had time to swipe up his baseball glove from the bench before I was dragging him across the grass and back towards the school campus. It was only about half an hour after school was out, and kids were still milling around in groups. I brushed past all of them, heading for the library.
"Where are we going?" Omega asked tentatively. He obviously didn't want to set me off again, but the kid was confused by my sudden decision to take a field trip.
"To get Darla, and then to apologize to Mike," I replied briskly, keeping my eyes forward. "You owe it to him, and you owe it to me."
Omega was silent, and I knew that he was afraid to make a comment on that. We stayed quiet as we both pushed open the double doors to the library and headed inside.
Darla was seated at one of the tables near the front, scribbling something down in a notebook and chatting softly with another girl we knew, Veronica. I came up and stood in front of their table, Omega trailing a little behind me. "Darla," I said quietly, taking both of the girls' attention off of their notebooks.
Darla smiled brightly up at us, but faltered as she noticed my stony expression and Omega standing helplessly behind me. Slowly, her smile faded, and she looked quickly back down at her notebook. "Hi Max. Hey Omega," she offered weakly, her voice much smaller than normal. Darla wasn't dumb. She knew that her little plan had failed.
"Would you mind coming with us?" I asked, my voice indicating that this wasn't actually a request. She was in deep trouble, and she knew it.
Darla hesitated, of course. "Well, I promised Veronica I would help her study for the history test," she hedged.
"Oh, I should be fine if you need to go with them, Darla," Veronica assured her helpfully, unaware of the tensions running high between us.
"Are you sure?" Darla tried to ask, obviously reluctant to go with me when I was so visibly pissed off.
I cut her off, though, smiling tightly at Veronica. "Thanks V, I knew you would understand," I told her. Without another word, I grabbed Darla's arm and tugged her up from the table, only allowing her to slip her notebook into her backpack before pulling both her and Omega out the door again.
"Sooo…" Darla started to say as soon as we were out of the library.
I interrupted again, whirling to glare at her. "You don't get to talk to me," I informed her roughly, narrowing my eyes at the girl I called one of my best friends. "I don't know what you were thinking, or why you didn't think I wouldn't find out it was all a lie, but you and Omega are going to go to Mike and apologize on your hands and knees for making me believe he beat up those kids."
"But Max," Darla tried to say again. "We were just trying to-"
I ignored her, turning back around and pulling the two along by their wrists. We left campus, heading along the familiar route to Briar Park. Neither Omega or Darla attempted to speak to me again, obviously well chastised by my anger.
When we hit the entrance to the park, I didn't hesitate before turning onto the path that led to the playground. Mike had a thing about monkey bars –it was his only childish personality trait that I knew of. If they were nearby, he was drawn to them. He loved sitting on the top of them, dangling his legs down, hanging by his knees and letting the blood rush to his head, sprawled flat across the top. Mike just loved monkey bars. Maybe it was a power thing, about being higher than everyone else, able to see everything else from the vantage point. Or maybe it was some bright memory in his short, unfortunate past.
I wasn't surprised to find Jack and Mike sitting atop the bars, talking quietly as they watched the little kids running around below them. Mike's gray eyes were trained solely on a pair of little boys with casts binding their arms, who were running around without a care in the world. Jerry and Nathan. They were doing perfectly well, despite their injuries.
"What happened to them, anyway?" I asked suddenly, breaking the silence that had gathered between Darla, Omega and I. "Why are they hurt, if the story about Mike was a lie?"
Darla winced, not meeting my eyes as she looked over to Jerry and Nathan. "They were climbing trees in this park a couple days ago, and fell from a couple of high branches," she admitted quietly. "When I saw them yesterday with their casts and bruises I thought of this. It's not Omega's fault, Max. It's mine."
"Oh, it's Omega's fault too," I replied shortly. "He went along with it." Darla didn't answer again, and Omega said nothing to defend himself. We walked in silence the remaining distance between ourselves and the monkey bars. We came up behind the two boys, and I stepped up onto the first metal rung as I drew up the courage to speak. "Hey, Mike, Jack," I called up. "I brought some visitors."
Jack turned around immediately, but Mike didn't bother to look over. He stayed facing the same direction, obviously unimpressed with my presence. "Darla?" Jack asked quizzically, looking down at her.
Darla blushed, looking away. "I'm sorry Jack," she muttered, sounding close to tears.
Jack still looked confused, so I decided to clear things up for him. "The lie was her idea," I explained shortly. "Omega was going along with her."
Understanding dawned on Jack's face, and his blue eyes clouded with disappointment as he looked back down at Darla again. "Why would you do that?" he asked softly, his voice heavy.
"I don't know," Darla confessed, sniffing loudly. "I was jealous. I wasn't thinking."
"Of course you weren't thinking," Mike snapped, whirling around suddenly. It was a miracle he kept his balance up on top of the monkey bars while moving that quickly. "Why would you say that stuff about me? Why?"
"I'm sorry, Mike, it was wrong of me and I regret it," Darla apologized quickly, her face earnest as she looked up at him. "I was wrong."
"I'm sorry as well," Omega added, staring up at Mike. "I shouldn't have done it either."
Mike looked down at the two of them calculatingly, as if deciding his next move. Then he hopped lithely down from the bars, landing softly on his feet and taking a step forward to get closer to Omega and Darla. I was still on the rungs of the bars, Jack still seated above me, and we were both powerless to do anything as Mike suddenly snarled and lunged forward, shoving Darla roughly to the ground.
Jack yelled above me, and I froze, staring at the scene playing out in front of me. "Mike! What are you doing?" Jack shouted, scrambling to get down from the bars.
Omega was still standing in front of Mike as Darla lay, shocked, on the tanbark of the playground. Suddenly, he seemed to realize what had just happened. Before Jack or I could do anything, Omega had stepped forward and shoved Mike back in retaliation. Mike fell backwards, landing on his elbows with the wind knocked out of him. Omega stood there for a moment, satisfied with his rebuttal, when Jack lunged for him and punched him straight in the chest. Omega doubled over, clutching the spot of impact, and staring up incredulously at an angry Jack.
I was in shock. What had started out as an apology had turned into an all-out brawl, with Omega defending Darla and Jack defending Mike. Were these people really the ones who I hung out with everyday? The ones I ate ice cream with and had invented Idiotball with me?
Then I realized that Darla had managed to recover from her fall. She sprang up and was slapping wildly at Jack's head as he attempted to fight her off, while Omega wrestled with Mike on the tanbark. My friends fought each other, blindly hitting and kicking as they rolled around on the tanbark. Dimly, I heard parents yelling as they realized what was going on under the monkey bars, and noticed that smaller children were being snatched away from our vicinity as the battle waged on.
Then my mind went blank. A strange rush of adrenaline pelted through my body, and I felt a scream leave my lips as I jumped off the rungs of the monkey bars. "STOP IT!" I shrieked, reaching forward and tearing Darla off of Jack's flailing body. I shook her back and forth as she tried to claw her way out of my arms, and as soon as she stopped struggling threw her roughly off to the side, out of harm's way. I then whirled around and pushed Jack backward in the opposite direction so they both were out of the fray. This only left Omega and Mike rolling around, punching and kicking and scratching and wrestling, wildly out of control. "I SAID, STOP IT!" I screamed again, lunging forward and grabbing Omega by the underarms. With a surge of strength I didn't know I had, I pulled him off of Mike, ripping the sleeve of his jacket out of Mike's hand as he attempted to hold on to his opponent. Omega writhed in my hold, fighting to get back towards Mike, so I held him by the shoulder with one hand and slapped him sharply across the face with the other.
The loud crack of my palm on his cheek resounded in the still air, and Omega's gaze finally ripped away from Mike to stare incredulously at me. "What are you all doing?" I demanded shrilly, shoving Omega backwards away from me. He staggered for a moment before losing his balance and falling almost on top of where I had tossed Darla. Luckily for her, Omega managed to check himself and land a little to her left, the air escaping his lungs with an audible 'oomph'. I glared around at all of them, feeling the energy sizzling through my veins giving me the confidence I needed to snap, "Well? What's wrong with all of you?"
I stared at my friends, breathing heavily, and wondered what the hell had just happened. In just minutes, there were nail marks all over Jack's face, while Darla's braids had started to unravel, Omega's sleeve was ripped and he had blood leaking from his lip, and Mike lay there with a slowly swelling eye. They were disheveled and torn up, all in a matter of what, forty five seconds?
This was a disaster.
Omega was dead silent, no emotion visible on his face as he sat up on his elbows and stared at me. Darla sniffed loudly, and I could see tears streaming down her cheeks as her eyes started to redden. Jack lay there in shock, blue eyes wide as he stared at me with an indescribable look on his face.
And Mike, Mike just narrowed his eyes and glared at me, completely unruffled by his fight. "You're going to pay, Max," he hissed, sitting up slightly and cocking his head at me. "All of you are going to pay for this."
The adrenaline rushing through my head allowed me to just narrow my eyes right back and laugh at him. "What? Are you going to try to beat us all up again or something?" I sneered, setting my fists haughtily at my hips. He couldn't hurt me. Mike would never be able to hurt me.
"You think you're just invincible, don't you?" Mike continued, his voice deadly soft. Those gray eyes I thought I knew so well glittered coldly as he laughed right back at me. "What about Ella? Is your baby sister invincible too?" he taunted.
I tensed all over at the mention of Ella's name. What was he trying to say?
Mike kept laughing, obviously noticing my reaction. "Oh, you don't like that Maxie?" he asked darkly. "Maybe invincibility isn't a family trait then. Maybe I can just hurt your sister instead, and it'll hurt you just as much as it will hurt he-"
Mike didn't get to finish his sentence. I struck him first.
I don't remember much of what happened next, only a blinding, choking rage filling my whole body from head to toe, and the sounds of my friends all screaming at me to stop. Their voices were filled with confusion, panic, and fear. Their hands clawed at my arms, trying to hold me back, trying to hold back the rage from spilling out of me.
"Max! Stop!"
"What are you doing Max? Stop kicking him! Stop it!"
"Max, he's not going to hurt Ella! You're hurting him!"
"STOP IT MAX! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL HIM!"
Pain. Fury. The urge to get rid of this threat to my sister.
"MAX!"
He was threatening to hurt her.
"STOP IT! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL HIM!"
I… what?
"MAX!"
I ended up on the ground, struggling against the restraints of Omega's, Darla's, and Jack's arms, and shrieking wordlessly as loudly as I could. I writhed and bucked, but suddenly a sharp bolt of pain pierced the foggy cloud of anger surrounding my mind. I lay still, breathing heavily, and tried to figure out what the source of the pain was.
My eyes finally landed on my feet. They pulsed with pain, and when I tried to move my toes, I bit back a sharp gasp of pain. Blood oozed out of the holes my shoelaces snaked through, and I stared at the liquid uncomprehendingly.
As soon as my friends realized I had stopped fighting, all three of them instantly let go of me and left my side. I sat up slowly in confusion, trying to avoid moving my feet, and looked around to see where they had gone.
The three of them were clustered around a bundle of dark cloth, a curled up body prone on the tanbark. I stared at it for a moment, trying to figure out what exactly was happening.
Then the body moaned, a low, helpless sound that wailed its way through my head. I froze, my breath catching as I slowly maneuvered myself into a position to see around Darla's torso.
The body was Mike. A pale-faced, half-unconscious Mike who was curled up in the fetal position and weakly clutching his ribs.
I didn't fully understand what had happened until a few hours later, when both Mike and I had been checked into the hospital. My injuries: two broken feet, several fractured toes. Mike's injuries: six broken ribs and internal bleeding.
It didn't take a genius to piece together what happened, and what I realized after hearing this summary of events was confirmed by my mother when she came into my hospital room around seven o' clock, when she got off work.
I had leaped on Mike, and kicked him in the stomach unceasingly, not stopping when his ribs snapped, not stopping when the bones of my own feet began to crack, not stopping when blood began staining my shoes and his shirt, not stopping when my friends had tried unsuccessfully to pull me away from him…
I had been a wild animal. I had been unstoppable.
I had been a monster.
We never told Ella the whole truth behind why I was stuck in a wheelchair with my broken feet, or why we moved away from the little town in Florida. She didn't even get a chance to find out I had been expelled, seeing as we were both withdrawn from school in order to pack. Mom was enraged and horrified, and couldn't believe that I had done that to my own friend. I didn't try to explain for my actions. There was no explanation.
I stared down at my sneakers as I finished retelling the story, remembering the day when they had to cut my blood-soaked shoes off of my feet in order not to further injure my broken bones. Now I was sitting on a bench in a different park, in a different state, on the opposite side of the country. I sat here with Fang, telling him the story I had tried so hard to forget about as my feet healed and my family left behind all evidence of that day.
Fang was the first person I had ever told the full story to except for my mom.
I glanced up at him now, only to find him staring out across the path and into the trees. I wondered if he would end up getting up and leaving, if he would shun me, if he would never want to talk to me again now that he knew what a monster I really was. "Fang?" I asked hesitantly.
Fang slowly turned his head down to look at me, dark eyes unreadable. "That kid, Mike?" he started, staring at me intently.
I swallowed hard, nodding. "Yeah?" I managed to say. My voice cracked even in that one simple word, just thinking about the story I had retold to Fang. Even today I couldn't fully forgive myself for doing that to him.
"He started the whole fight," Fang continued quietly. "He could have handled it with words. Even yelling at the friends who lied would have been better than pushing them down. He deserved everything he got."
I stared at him, a little uncomprehendingly. "But I broke his ribs," I heard myself say, sounding a little lost.
Fang looked at me for another moment, a strange look in his eyes, before slowly curling an arm around my back and pulling me against his side. I let myself lean into him, closing my eyes and laying my head carefully on his shoulder. Against my will, I felt tears start to pool in the corners of my eyes, and I tried to squeeze them away without him noticing.
It didn't work. Within seconds I felt Fang's finger gently brush away a tiny bead of a tear that had escaped onto my cheekbone, and I knew he had caught my waterworks. "It was not your fault," Fang murmured, tugging me into a hug. "You were protecting someone you cared about. It's like what happened with Nudge and those soccer players before," he reasoned. Fang's other arm snaked over and pulled me harder against him. I snuggled into him, not caring about this moment of weakness, only seeking to know that he didn't think less of me because of my confession.
"It was my fault," I whispered, staring at his collarbone an inch from my eyes. My head was tucked under his chin, and I was glad he couldn't see the tears trickling slowly done my face anymore. "I hurt him. I hurt him badly. I hurt myself badly, and I couldn't stop. Three kids had to drag me away from him, while a couple of the adults nearby pulled Mike further away so I couldn't get to him." I paused briefly, taking a deep breath before adding, almost inaudibly, "I was out of my mind."
My words hung in the air for a moment, the doubts and worries that had been clawing at the back of my mind for years. They were out in the open for Fang to judge.
"You're not insane," he said immediately, his voice firm and immobile. I was comforted by his instant conviction, but that wasn't really what I had meant.
"No, I'm not like clinically insane," I agreed, sighing softly. "I just literally was out of my mind there. When it happened… it was like everything disappeared except what I was feeling. Pain, anger, threat. And when they finally pinned me down and I realized my feet were hurting, it was like the world came back and I had been gone for a few minutes. And that's not the only time it's happened before, either."
Fang pondered that for a few minutes. I just sat in his arms, savoring the feeling of being surrounded by him. He didn't think I was a monster. He knew what I had done to Mike, and he didn't think I was a monster.
All I could feel for a second was a huge wave of relief, crashing down on my shoulders with an indescribably calming, cool feeling. He didn't think I was a monster.
"You were angry, and threatened, and your body took over," Fang finally said. His abrupt remark took me by surprise, and I had to process it for a moment before I understood.
"You're saying it's just a defense mechanism?" I confirmed, raising my head to look him in the eyes.
Fang nodded. "Yeah, exactly," he agreed. "When your mind gets overloaded with emotion, your body acts for you. It's not you doing those things, not really."
I groaned, digging my face back into his shoulder. "That just makes it worse," I muttered. "I'm not in control of myself. I can't just lose control! My mom says I'm more powerful than I think I am, and I have a bad feeling that she's right." I sighed moodily, closing my eyes again. "I don't want to be that strong if I'm just going to end up hurting people. I'm afraid of doing that, Fang," I admitted. "Mom tried to teach me ways to defend myself without hurting other people like Mi…Mike." I gulped as I said his name, then took another deep breath. Telling the story again had really resurfaced a lot of bad feelings. "But I'm afraid that I'll always be in danger of losing control. Like when I pushed you in the living room the other day."
"Yeah," Fang murmured, tightening his grip on me. "You looked almost like you were fighting with yourself."
"I was," I replied softly. "Part of me just wanted to hit you, as hard as I could. And the other part wanted to keep calm, keep control. I almost gave in to hitting you. It was all I could do to turn into just a push." I squeezed my eyes shut tighter at the memory.
We were silent for awhile, the only sound being the breeze blowing through the trees. We listened to it, and I let the tears dry on my cheeks as I tried to shove the memories of the fifth grade fight back down into the back of my mind. "Thank you for telling me," Fang said abruptly, his voice soft and soothing.
I pulled back a little to look seriously into his eyes. "Thank you for not thinking I'm a monster," I told him, my voice rasping with held back emotion.
"How could I think you're a monster, Max?" Fang asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he gazed back at me.
"I think I am," I replied honestly. We stared at each other, neither wavering, wondering who was going to speak first.
Fang did. "You shouldn't," he said simply, reaching up with one hand to touch my cheek. "There are monsters in this world, Max, but you aren't one of them," he told me seriously. "Okay?"
I blinked hard, willing myself not to unleash the waterworks again. I had cried enough for one day. "Okay," I gulped, pursing my lips tightly together.
The movement drew Fang's gaze to my mouth, and the fingers on my cheek slowly reached over and touched my lips until they loosened again. My heart pounded in my chest as he slowly, quietly leaned over and replaced his fingers with his lips. My eyes closed by themselves, and I felt that wave of relief hit my shoulders again.
I wasn't a monster.
Someone's POV
"I'm not in control of myself. I can't just lose control!"
You're right Max, you aren't in control. But don't worry about losing control– you can't lose something you never had to begin with.
"My mom says I'm more powerful than I think I am, and I have a bad feeling that she's right."
Dr. Martinez is right about a lot of things. She's smart, and she's crafty. But this time she hasn't realized just who we have working on the inside of things. She hasn't managed to move you into a different state yet, and we only need a little longer of you staying in this one spot for our plans to continue.
"I don't want to be that strong if I'm just going to end up hurting people. I'm afraid of doing that, Fang."
And that, my dear, is exactly the fear we will use to control you.
Is it just me, or does anyone else find that there's an intensely creepy dark side to yourself that only comes out when you're writing? Mine shows up in these weirdass 'Someone's POV's.
I've decided that the only way I'm forgiving Fang for leaving the flock and being a total bastard in the last book is if he sings Cher's Want You Back to Max in Nevermore. Anyone with me? XD
WAIT A MINUTE I HAVE SOME SHAMELESS ADVERTISING TO DO! =D So if anyone gets pissed off at me for never updating anymore, I have a pretty long romance oneshot on fictionpress if you'd like to check it out. I'm immensely proud of it, and I'd be honored if you looked it up! It's called The Piano Notes by Noon Breeze. Thank you in advance! =D
Review? I actually got some real plot in here! Impressive, is it not?
~TMI~