Chapter 10

Ella woke up and rolled over. Luckily the room seemed still this morning and not revolve like a fairground ride. She took a breath and tested to see if she still felt nauseous. Nope, she thought, it seemed ok but then she hadn't tried standing up yet.
"Morning!" Roman said. "Feeling better?" he asked.
"I think so." She said softly.
"Really?" he asked a teasing note entered his voice.
He walked over to the bed and lay down before looking at her the same teasing note in his eyes.
"Yes I'm fine." She told him.
He reached down and traced a path down her cheek, turning her head gently toward him. Now his thumb was caressing her bottom lip and she felt her heartbeat quicken.
"Oh!" she said looking him in the eyes.
He lowered his head and kissed her very slowly. She moaned against his lips and lifted her hands to caress his strong arms and shoulders.
He laughed against her lips, his breath hot and sweet and smelling faintly of mint from his toothpaste. She could tell that he had already had a shave too. He lay down on top of her and did a very slow push up making sure his body weight didn't crush her!
"You like that?" he asked teasingly flexing his biceps under her touch.
"Uh huh!" she moaned as she felt his muscles move against the palms of her hands, she pushed aside the covers and he climbed into bed despite still wearing his trousers.
He kissed her again, his lips gentle but firm on hers only pulling away when their bedroom crashed open.
"Oh sorry!" Nicole gasped. "I didn't see anything!" she stood and covered up her eyes.
"Er Nic, how about knocking?" Roman asked grumpily, rolling over and sitting up. He adjusted the bed covers.
"It's just that Rachel is on the phone for Ella." Nicole held out the receiver.
Ella sat up and held out her hand for the phone.
"Thanks Nic!" she said.
Nicole started to back out of the room but then noticed her Dad getting out of the bed. She gave an Eek sound and turned around, running out and slamming the door.
He laughed as he stood up reaching for his trainers and T-shirt he placed a quick kiss on Ella's lips.
"I'll be downstairs!" he said and left her to take the call.
"Hi Rachel." Ella said.
"Hey, I take it I called at an inconvenient time?" she said with a laugh.
"No" Ella laughed, "but if you'd called ten minutes later I probably wouldn't have been impressed!"
"I have a problem. My sitter cancelled on me so I need to bump your appointment up to this morning,"
"That's no problem. When do you want me there?" Ella asked.
"Could you do in an hours time?" she was asked.
"no problem. I'll see you then!" Ella said.
"Thanks Ella." Rachel said.
They cut the connection and Ella stood up pulling on a fluffy bathrobe over her nightdress and eased her way downstairs.
She replaced the handset and went into the kitchen.
"Hey!" Roman called to her from the cooker. "Are you up to a little breakfast?" he asked.
She went pale.
"I'll take that as a no!" he exclaimed and went over to her quickly and helped her into a seat.
He picked a bottle of water from the fridge and opened it before he placed it in front of her. She took a sip and then another.
"Do you think I could get some more of that Ginger tea?" she asked softly. He chuckled with amusement.
"Of course!" He said and went over to the cooker to turn off the heat putting the kettle on at the same time.
"Please tell Rachel didn't call to cancel." He said trying not to fuss.
"No she's bumped me up to an appointment this morning." Ella told him.
"Do you think you could be pregnant?" he asked eventually.
"I don't know. I didn't…" she trailed off as Nicole walked into the kitchen.
"Hey, I'm sorry!" She said. "I didn't mean to interrupt this morning!" she blushed.
"Or just now?" Roman asked pointedly.
"Oh!" Nic said and stepped back.
"Don't take any notice Nic your dad is just in a bad mood." Ella told her. "I have to go get ready for my appointment." She said to them and stood up slowly.
Roman moved protectively toward her but she held up a hand.
"I'm fine." She said to him.
She walked up the stairs not noticing the worried look on his face.

Ella sat on the bed in the examination room at the hospital waiting for Rachel to come in. Roman stood next to it, every so often he'd pace the room and look at her. She knew what he wanted, an end to the discussion they had started in the kitchen when she had unwittingly started to tell him something.
Rachel walked in.
"I'm sorry!" she said to them. "Hello Roman." She said pointedly.
"Hello Rachel. " Ella said glaring at Roman. "Could you ask him to wait outside please?" she said.
"Wait!" Roman began.
"Thank you for giving me a lift here today and I'll see you when my appointment is over." She said pointedly.
Rachel looked at them and then held the door open.
Roman grunted under his breath and left the room. Rachel closed the door behind him and walked over to the bed.
"Ok. I get the feeling that this isn't going to be a routine appointment." She pulled up a chair and sat down facing her.
"I've been feeling really sick and dizzy." Ella began and saw Rachel nod. "I don't think I'm pregnant but I could be." She blushed under Rachel's knowing look.
"And why wouldn't you be pregnant?" Rachel asked intuitively.
"Well," Ella began. "It's not impossible but," she paused and took a breath, "I had a miscarriage a long time ago. And I didn't get medical help until it was too late. I picked up an infection."
Rachel nodded but remained quiet, understanding both as a doctor and a woman how difficult this was.
"The infection was treated but I was told that there might be complications if I decided to try for children."
Rachel nodded again and said. "That's true. Sometimes there can be lingering problems. I take it you and Roman never discussed this?" she asked wisely.
"No. We got married so quickly and then we." She stopped and blushed a deep crimson. "we didn't bother to use birth control."
"Ok. First of all let me draw some bloods to send to the lab and I'll get them to run a pregnancy test. If its negative then I think we'll start you with some fertility tests." Her voice was calm and reassuring. "Is there anything else you want to tell me?" she asked.
"I ..er…yes…" she stuttered.
Rachel placed a reassuring hand on her arm.
"I never told him that I had a miscarriage. I didn't think that it could be a problem after all these years and.." she trailed off.
"And you didn't want Roman to find out you lost his baby?" Rachel guessed.
"Not only that but …well…" Ella felt herself welling up with tears. "We just said that we would try for children straight away and I never meant to deceive him but I feel that I've done just that."
Rachel stood and took a step toward her. She put her arms around him and gave her a quick hug.
"Lets get some bloods and give you a quick exam." She said.

Roman helped her back into bed. She looked pale and tired. She hadn't told him what Rachel had said but he guessed that it was bad. If they weren't able to have kids then, he decided that it wouldn't be the end of the world for him. He had Nicole and Mike and Aden. Although he didn't like to class Aden as his son simply because that meant he had to acknowledge Aden's two children Brett and Amy-Belle as his grandchildren! It was bad enough that Aden had taught the two youngsters to call him that already!
He took her up a cup of Ginger tea and she indicated that she wanted him to stay. He felt his heart leap into the back of his throat as he sat next to her on the bed.
"A long time ago I had a miscarriage." she blurted out.
"Ok." He said calmly, more calmly than he felt. He took hold of her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"And there were some complications, I didn't give them a thought until now. I should have told you when we first started talking about trying." She said unable to meet his gaze.
"Is that all?" he said, feeling more churned up inside than he let on.
"No. I never had a chance to tell the father I was pregnant." Ella said taking a breath. Then taking another one. "Until now!"
Roman stood up abruptly as her words sank in.
"You were pregnant with my baby?" he asked his voice very calm but like steel.
"Yes." She said quietly.
He felt as though someone had just ripped his insides out.
"So lets see if I have all the information." He said in a cold voice. "You lost my baby and didn't tell me. You might not be able to have another one. And you knew we talked about having children when we got married." He knew he should be holding her and telling her it would be ok that they would get through this but he was so angry and so incredibly hurt. He should shut up now, he thought but the words came out of his mouth. "You say you didn't blame me for what happened to Michael but you must have done to wait until now to tell me that my baby was gone!"
She went a shade paler at his words but didn't say anything to defend herself.
"I can't look at you right now!" he said but he wasn't talking about her he was talking about himself. He stood and walked out of the bedroom and then out of the house. He didn't hear her call him or see her run to the top of the stairs where she swayed and fell, rolling down the steps to the bottom.