The bell signaling the end of the school day chimed as Josuke packed up his briefcase. He wasn't sure what was going on with the new girl, but he was sure that between he and his friends, there had to be something they could do. He approached her desk cautiously, trying not to startle her, but also trying to look like a cool guy. He tapped the back of her chair to get her attention and she nearly jumped half a foot. He sighed. Being naturally intimidating kind of sucked sometimes.
"Uh, hello," he began, "Getting detention on your first day kinda rules. We were just heading down there too," he motioned to Okuyasu and Koichi, "want us to show you the way?"
The girl's eyes darted around nervously as she avoided eye contact with the group. "Oh! Uh, I think I can probably find it myself? I don't wanna, uh, inconvenience you or anything"
The girl sitting in front of Sakuraguchi turned around in her chair. "I know those guys look kinda scary, but they wouldn't hurt a fly. You're in good hands." she winked at Josuke.
"Hey, shut up. I could fight every fly in Morioh, just watch me!"* Josuke said aloud, and then winked back when he was sure nobody else was watching.
"Sure thing, tough guy," She said as she finished packing.
"Look," Josuke continued, feigning annoyance, "Are you coming with us, or not?"
"I guess so," Sakuraguchi said.
The four of them sulked through the halls. Passing bands of girls on the way out of school stopped to swoon over the boys, who tried to subtly strike cool poses in response. Josuke had a flurry of questions that he wanted to ask this new girl, but couldn't think of a tactful way to ask the-
"Wait, okay, so are you really a boy?" Okuyasu asked, free of the burdens of social anxiety.
Sakuraguchi blushed. "Uh, seems that way?"
"So then why are you wearing the girl's uniform?"
"I-I don't know, I guess I just like it better." she visibly shrunk away from Okuyasu's piercing glare.
"Fucking hell, Okuyasu!" Josuke yelled, "you're scaring the shit out of her!"
"Eat shit, Josuke!" Okuyasu responded in a false rage, "I'm just wondering, you know? Maybe she's like one of those newhalf people or whatever! Like she actually wants to be a girl or something!"
Koichi spoke up. "Is that true? Do you want to be a girl?"
Sakuraguchi stared at her feet. She looked like she wanted to say something, but couldn't bring herself to.
"...You do, huh," Josuke thought for a moment. "Wait, so were you planning on crossdressing every day?"
She paused. "I dunno. Maybe."
"Guess you're gonna be in detention a lot, huh," Okuyasu mused.
"Hey, that just means we'll be great friends in no time!" Koichi said, gently elbowing her.
"Yeah, probably. We're rooting for you to keep it up as long as you can." Josuke winked at her, then realized that they should probably introduce themselves. "Uh, anyway, I'm Higashikata Josuke, but like, you can call me Josuke. That's Nijimura Okuyasu-"
Okuyasu waved to her enthusiastically. "Call me Okuyasu!"
Josuke continued. "- and that's Hirose Koichi."
"Just 'Koichi' is fine"
"Ah, nice to meet you all," Sakuraguchi said, nodding her head at each of the gang. "I'm Sakuraguchi Ryouta... but if you could call me 'Kaori,' that would be good?"
"Sure thing, Kaori," the trio said in unison.
They turned the corner and waved to the teacher checking in detained students. There were a handful that were on rotation, and all of them were all too familiar with Josuke and his gang.
"Yo," Josuke waved to the teacher.
"Hello, boys," the teacher said cordially, marking them off on his roll sheet. He turned to Kaori. "Uh, and you are..?"
"Sakuraguchi."
The teacher stuck his pen in his teeth as he scanned the roster. "Sa...ku... here we go. Sakuraguchi Ryouta? Here for a dress code vio- oh." He bent down close to her and whispered to her. "Wait, did those hooligans put you up to this?"
Kaori shook her head.
"Was this like, a prank or something?" the professor prodded, "You have a boys' uniform too, right?"
She shook her head again.
The teacher ran his fingers through his hair. "Well then, uh, I think the supply office should still be open for a little bit. You can go grab one right now. I won't mark you tardy or anything." Kaori sullenly started back towards the supply office.
Meanwhile, the boys arranged a trio of desks into a triangle. In theory, detained students were supposed to sit down and silently stare at their favorite wall for an hour after school, but in practice, none of the teachers really cared. Besides, they all knew Josuke and his buddies were both entirely harmless compared to some other delinquents at the school, and perfectly determined to commit minor infractions without end. It was sort of hard to be mad at a bunch of affable guys who had, at worst, rearranged the letters on the noticeboard to say something vulgar.
"I think we can help her." Josuke began, "I'm still thinking of how, but like, between all of the stand users in town, one of us has to be able to straight up turn her into a girl."
"Do you think you could do it just with Crazy Diamond?" Koichi volunteered.
"Well, she's not really broken, right? Like I could heal her if she was injured, but she's basically healthy already."
"I GOT IT, JOSUKE!" Okuyasu yelled at the top of his lungs, "YOU GOTTA PUNCH HER IN THE DICK!"
"What?" Josuke was having trouble processing that sentence.
"If you mash her dick into paste, you can reform it into a vagina!" Okuyasu continued, at only the fourth quintile of his max volume.
"That's it! Okuyasu you're a genius!" Koichi said, launching some finger guns at his friend.
"Waitwaitwait," Josuke said, "I can't go around punching girls I've just met in the crotch! Plus, uh," his eyes played the ground, "I've never, like, actually seen a vagina? I can't have Crazy Diamond rebuild something I've never seen in the first place."**
"Josuke! What do you mean you've never seen one? Didn't you and Hikari totally score a couple weeks ago?" Okuyasu asked.
"No, dumbass!" Josuke retorted, "How am I supposed to get laid as long as every wild animal in town fucking descends upon my asshole whenever I'm within dick-length of some poontang?!"
"Hey, hey, calm down," Koichi said, "look, they're not that complicated, it's just like, there's the fleshy part on the outside, then the flappy bits inside that, and like, a really tiny penis at the to-"
"Look, man," Josuke interjected, "even if I hadn't slept through sex ed, I'd still have to have seen one myself for it to come out right. I don't wanna accidentally give her doll crotch because I couldn't visualize it well."
After thinking for a moment, Koichi had another idea. "What if we get Rohan to help? Maybe he could open her up and write in "I was born a girl" and that would fix it."
"Great," Josuke groaned. "Do we have to, though? I hate fucking with Rohan. This sucks. Rohan sucks." He started absentmindedly fishing around in his briefcase for his gameboy.
"Come on, Josuke!" Okuyasu bellowed, "do you wanna help this girl or not? So what if we have to deal with that scumbag!"
Josuke sighed deeply. "I guess." he pulled his handheld out of his bag and switched it on. "Anyway, Koichi, do you have a Skarmory? I'll trade it for my mantine..."
Notes:
* He did, actually. The stand was called "Animals as Leaders," and they fucking ruined a picnic date he'd been planning for weeks.
** Idk if this is a rule, but one of my idiot friends mentioned this amazing (and NSFW) artistic work, so I guess it at least has precedent in fanon. Also it's funny.