Roman went to find Ella. She was sitting cross-legged on the bed with a small red box in front of her criss-crossed legs. She had a pensive look on her face.
"Hey!" he called.
"Hey yourself!" she said back. She held out her hand and he walked over to the bed and sat next to her.
She took a deep breath and opened the box. A scent of violets was released into the room. She lifted the layer of tissue paper and he saw the contents finally. He had a strange sense of Déjà vu and realised that the box was the one she had had all those years ago in Afghanistan.
She lifted out a jewellery box and opened it to reveal a gold cross on a chain. She handed it to him
"This belonged to Jennie. She gave it to me when I first went overseas." She told him.
She pulled out a pair of identification discs on a long silver chain and smiled pulling them over her head.
Then she opened a lace handkerchief and showed him the pressed flower she had saved.
He chuckled as he recognised it as one he'd picked for her the day after he met her. He remembered the ribbing he'd got from his men for picking flowers whilst on patrol.
She put it to one side and then pulled out an envelope, her hand not quite steady.
Roman closed the jewellery box and placed it carefully into the box.
"We don't have to do this!" he told her.
She smiled at him.
"Yes we do."
She opened the envelope and took out the contents. A coil of ribbon ran out un-snaking on to the bed covers. He looked at it seeing the white ribbon with little yellow ducks on it. He found that it seemed to be blurring before him and he realised that he was welling up with tears. He picked up the ribbon and cradled it in his hand, wrapping it around his fingers.
She pulled out the scan and handed it to him. His hands were shaking as he took it form her. He turned it over in his hands and read out loud the writing on the back.
"Baby at about 8 weeks." He turned it again and looked at the front. It was just like the scan they had gotten today, he thought. He handed it back to her.
"When I found out I flew out to see you. Because there was a tribunal about the death of my brother they wouldn't let me hop on an Australian transport so I flew to England then on a C130 and finally a chopper." Her voice was calm as she continued. "I saw you but didn't get a chance to talk to you. So I waited. Only," she paused. "Two days later I miscarried and they flew me out of there without being able to tell you. I was ill for a while afterward, but Jennie collapsed and was taken into hospital and I had no time to deal with it or to contact you."
He turned away from her sitting on the edge of the bed looking down at the floor. What had he been doing, he thought, wallowing in self-pity when she'd needed him.
"It wasn't anyone's fault it just happened. I was fit and my doctor cleared me to make the trip." She added. "They tell you this wonderful phrase when you lose a baby." She sighed. "They say it just wasn't mean to be. Oh, of course you hate that saying but then you know it has some truth about it."
She pushed the box out of the way and moved over to him to wrap herself around him, her arms around him and she pressed her cheek against his back. She felt him take a deep breath.
"Roman." She said softly.
"I'm sorry. " he said.
"Its ok. It really is. I never blamed you." She told him.
She moved off the bed lifting up the box and placing it on her dressing table and then closing the bedroom door. She walked back towards him and lifting his head she bent down and kissed him softly on the lips. She pulled his hands up and placed them on her stomach.
"We've been given another chance." She told him.
He raised his eyes to hers at last and saw the radiant look in them. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down onto the bed beside him. Kissing her deeply he moulded her body to his.
"I love you." She told him.
Roman pealed off his shirt and held her close pulling away when he felt the metal of the identification discs press into his chest.
"Sorry!" he muttered and pulled away.
"What's the matter?" she asked.
"The discs." He said. "Are they Michael's?" he asked finally.
She tugged them off and handed them to him. He traced his finger over the name and read his own name on them.
"Why?" He asked eventually.
"Because they were a part of you." She answered puzzled.
He dropped them into her hand as though they were poisonous.
"I am not that person anymore." He growled. He stood up and pulled on a vest top.
"Roman?" Ella asked puzzled.
"Get rid of them." he ordered. He walked over to the bedroom door without turning around.
"Where are you going?" she asked. "What's going on?" she tried again.
"Get rid of them." He said again.
He strode out of the room and down the stairs and then through the front door.
Ella clutched the discs in her hand and curled up on the bed as she began crying. She remembered doing this once before many years ago and had a strange feeling of déjà vu. She suddenly gasped as she felt a cramp start low in her stomach. Pressing her hand against it she forced herself to lay flat and breath deeply and evenly without panicking. After a couple of minutes the cramp passed and she continued to lie flat waiting to see if it were to start up again.
Finally confident that she was ok she sat up slowly and reached for her phone.
"Hello!" Rachel answered
"Rachel, it's El, can you come over?" she said trying not to cry.
"Of course. I'll be there in 10 minutes. I have to drop the twins off with Tony." Rachel told her.
Ella cut the connection and lay back down on the bed and waited.