Kakashi has a secret shame. He figures everybody has one, so it shouldn't be so bad.
However…
However, Kakashi's secret shame is a hand job he got from Gai at the age of fifteen. From Gai, of all people and when he was fifteen. That might be a problem because at fifteen, you're not really a child anymore. They'd both already had the talk; technically they should have known better.
Then again, it had only been a onetime thing; they never ever mentioned it again.
For all anybody knows, it never even happened.
Which is a little funny because usually Gai has the social grace of a raging rhinoceros. And yet, somehow, with this, even he must have experienced some form of morning after shame.
Huh.
It stings a little somewhere in Kakashi's ego (not his heart) although it really shouldn't.
The problem is this: he still thinks about it.
Sometimes, when he is alone, he recalls that strange night; he tries to remember exactly how it felt. The touch of his best friend's hand. The touch of someone who truly loved him - albeit platonically- (because Gai does for whatever reason, not even Kakashi can doubt that anymore).
He thinks about it, and he wonders if Gai does, too.
If, when he does, Gai is ashamed.
He wonders if that's all it is now, just one shared shameful memory.
If it ever could have been more.