Dean looked at Carmen intently for a whole minute with dark eyes full of anger and frustration and Carmen thought he was going to explode; instead he turned his back on her and took a few steps through the room. His resistence and discomfort were present, one didn't have to be a supernatural creature to sense the emotions radiating off of him.
Carmen walked over to the couch in the middle of the room and sat down, keeping her eyes on Dean while he paced the room.
"I need to know." She said quietly, her tone soft and patient as she waited for his reaction. He ran a hand through his hair and kept silent. "And I have the right to, don't you think?"
Dean let out a frustrated groan as he walked back and forth, like a wild animal locked in a cage. Carmen watched him for a few more minutes in silence, knowing he needed time to think, but was going to talk eventually.
He had to tell her. Now that Olivia was back, he couldn't keep his secrets any longer. Plus, he had sworn himself he would if she ever asked. And now the time had come to reveal everything, even though he was reluctant to do so.
"Okay." Dean sighed heavily and braced himself inwardly, hoping Carmen wouldn't look at him differently once she learned about his past. He turned around abruptly and stepped to her, taking a seat beside her. Carmen blinked in confusion at his swift movements, instantly alarmed. This was a lot more serious than she thought.
"First of all, I never wanted you to know." He said, a sad expression appearing on his face. His voice was low and quiet, full of regret, but calm. "I don't wanna hurt you, Carmen..." He broke off and cleared his throat, averting his gaze.
At first Carmen wasn't sure what he meant and why he seemed to be so reluctant, but when he wasn't able to hide it any longer and let the vulnerability show for a second, she got it. She smiled when she realized what his concern was, utterly relieved, and laid a hand on his thigh.
Dean looked at her with a frown, seeing her smiling softly at him.
"It's okay, Winchester." She encouraged."I'm not going to stop loving you."
Dean didn't say a word and just kept looking at her spectically; she noticed doubt, but also hope in his eyes. "Come on, I just wanna know what the deal with that chick is, okay?"
Carmen knew she was only fooling herself. Whatever Dean had to say it would probably hurt – really bad – but she was brave enough to deal with it. She wanted him to start talking already, so she would know the turth and could finally move on. So far she had been going crazy, thinking of the worst things, imagining how Dean and Olivia met and whether she once meant something to him and still did.
"She doesn't mean anything to me, never has." Dean suddeny said and Carmen wondered if he was reading her mind, even though she knew he couldn't do that.
"Okay..." She replied carefully and Dean glanced at her briefly before looking away again, too uncomfortable to keep eye contact with her. "I met her, I'd say in the late 1690s or early 1700s...well, about one hundred years before we met to be exact. At that time she'd already been in search of her mate for a few centuries and still hadn't found him."
Carmen had to swallow at that information, trying her best to comprehend. "So, she's a very old vampire, then?"
"Yeah." Dean nodded. "And, turns out, a very dangerous one. The fact that she hadn't found the one was slowly taking it's toll on her and tearing at her seams. It was obvious to everyone but me. I was too young and didn't notice."
Dean got up and walked over to the window; as he looked outside he tried to sort his thoughts. Carmen didn't dare to breathe, her palms were sweaty and the sound of her blood rushing through the veins echoed loudly in her ears. Suddenly, she was very nervous and scared. Maybe asking him to tell her everything hadn't been such a good idea after all. Dean spoke up again, forcing Carmen to draw her attention back to him.
"None of the vamps she got involved with turned out to be her mate and she grew more and more frustrated with every passing day. Then she met me." He turned around, burying his hands in his jeans' pockets and leaned against the window sill, smiling cockily. "She was terrified of me."
"Really?" Carmen raised an eyebrow and Dean chuckled. "Not surprising at all." She still remembered very well how she felt when she first met Dean and apparently Olivia had felt the same way.
"I was barely a hundred years old and didn't understand the frustration the older vamps had to endure nor what they were going through. I only had one thing, well two things, on my mind and didn't give a fuck about anyone else." Dean continued with a glint in his eyes and Carmen couldn't help but smile a little. "Sex and blood."
"Sex and blood." Dean confirmed and winked at her. "I didn't follow the vamp rules and sure as hell didn't believe in the whole mate thing. In fact, I could've cared less about meeting the one. Sammy's been different though. He always knew there was someone special out there, but he wasn't looking for his mate, either. We were both young and not ready to settle down." He stopped and looked at Carmen with a loving and warm smile."But of course that changed when I met you one hundred years later and my life was turned upside down. I was so obsessed with you and terrified because you were human, but it didn't stop me, I knew you were mine and I was determined to have you."
Carmen wiped her hands on her jeans, completely overwhelmed. Dean was opening up and revealing his past to her.
He paused and shook his head before speaking up again."So when I saw Olivia for the first time all I wanted to do was..." He quickly interrupted himself, suddenly aware of what he was about to say.
"...fuck her." Carmen ended the sentence for him, smiling."She's hot, I get it." She tried to appear nonchalant, although she felt queasy. Hearing Dean talk about her was rather unpleasant, but she tried to keep her feelings locked up.
"Anyways, we started, you know..." Dean said, scratching his head nervously.
"Hooking up?" Carmen said curtly, looking down to the floor. Now she couldn't keep eye contact with him, either.
"Yeah, seducing her was a piece of cake. Olivia was into me and, I don't know, I had a certain affect on her, so I guess she started thinking I was her mate. But I hadn't realized that back then." Dean shook his head, deep in thought and Carmen felt her stomach churn.
"Anyways, we've been screwing around for two years, but then she got tired. Olivia wanted more, wanted me to drink her blood and claim her which I never did." It got silent in the room as Carmen looked shocked at him, not sure how to reply to that. Her head was buzzing with questions and she couldn't voice one.
"Carmen, I swear, I've never drunk her blood." Dean finally said determinedly, needing her to believe him."It's a pretty big deal and even I wouldn't dare to get careless like that and drink blood from everyone I've sex with. Actually..." He hesitated for only a second before deciding to confess. "...you're the only vamp I've ever fed on."
Carmen took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly as she processed his words. Her head was spinning, the revelation had thrown her off guard, but she managed to stay focused. "Okay." She finally nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. "Go on."
Dean wasn't sure how she had taken his confession, but she seemed alright, so he forced himself to continue."Since I refused to commit, she decided to make my life a living hell and started sleeping with Sam."
"What?" Carmen whispered, turning pale. Now she was really terrified of how the story would end. "But why would Sam...?"
"He didn't know. Sammy didn't know I was sleeping with her and he...and she...God, I was so stupid." Dean whispered, closing his eyes in agony. "She was jealous and tried to drive a wedge between us, but I didn't care that she was banging my brother. Sam and I have been sleeping with the same woman for three years, I don't know why, but somehow we couldn't stay away from her. It was like she'd casted a spell on us, there was just something about her. And somewhere down the road Sammy fell in love with her and when he found out about us..."
Dean was talking hastily, getting the words out as fast as he could; tears started to burn Carmen's eyes. Sam had been in love with Olivia for real whereas she was just using him to get back at Dean – she had been involved with both brothers. She thought about Sam and how hurt he must have been to find out the woman he loved had been sleeping with his own brother the entire time. Now every piece was falling into place and she realized why Sam had overreacted when he learned about Olivia being back in town. A tear slipped down Carmen's face; she thought she was going to be sick.
"Oh God!" She exclaimed and jumped off the couch, horrified by the whole story.
"Carmen..." Dean whispered, his voice filled with hurt. What was on her mind? How was she feeling about him now? He was honestly scared.
"I had no idea Sam was in love with her, otherwise I would've never...you have to believe me." He walked over to her, desperately seeking the right words, hoping to get through to her. "When it all came out I left town and never looked back, I haven't seen her in centuries." Dean laid a hand on her shoulder and Carmen turned to look at him. "What about Sam? He didn't believe you?"
"Worse." Dean said through gritted teeth."He believed her. Every word. He was convinced I was her mate and was even willing to disappear and leave us alone. I can't believe I've hurt my little brother that way...Hell, it took us years to realize what game she was playing, we've been under her spell for five years."
Carmen took a deep breath and wiped angrily a tear off of her cheek.
"Please stop crying, my angel." Dean's words pierced her heart. The last time he said those words to her was when he had revealed to her that he was a vampire.
"That's not fair, Winchester. Don't say that to me now." She whispered defenselessly.
"I'm sorry, baby." Dean said. He took another step towards her, wanting to touch her, but hesitated. Carmen noticed that he felt rejected and feared she didn't want him anymore, so she closed the distance between them by leaning her head on his chest and wrapping her arms tightly around him.
"Everything's alright, honey." She mumbled and Dean relaxed, the tension leaving his body. Carmen closed her eyes, analyzing her own feelings and trying to process the piece of Dean's past that he had been willing to share. She came to the conclusion that she was somewhat fine, but then a thought occured to her and she was instantly worried.
"Does Sam still love her? And what about Abby? Olivia's going to screw everything up." Carmen looked up at Dean, her voice trembling with concern.
"No, don't worry." Dean reassured and ran his thumb over her cheek, tracing the wet trail her tears had left. "Sam's over her."
"Are you sure? He was pretty upset earlier, I think I've never seen him so hysterical." Carmen argued, making Dean smile."He's found his mate now. Believe me, he's so over her. He was worried because of us." He added and Carmen raised an eyebrow questioningly.
Dean sighed, hesitating for a second."He feared Olivia would cloud my mind again and come between us. She showed up at his house and told him a bunch of lies."
"Oh." Carmen frowned, having still not fully comprehended the whole situation. There was still so much she needed to think through.
"Babe, I don't wanna scare you..." Dean started, interrupting her thoughts and Carmen took a step back, waiting for him to continue.
"Olivia's dangerous, please be careful, okay? We don't really know what she's up to." He pleaded.
"I doubt she's going to attack me in an office full of people." She shot back and Dean glared at her.
"Fine." She gave in, holding her hands up in surrender."I'll stay away from her, it's not like we're going to be best friends, anyway. What about you?"
"What about me?" Dean asked confused and Carmen huffed."You're the one she's zeroing in on, she's trying to get you back. Are you sure you don't want her anymore?"
"Yes." Dean chuckled when Carmen looked at him suspiciously."It's been three hundred years, baby. Even for a vamp it's a long time, I'm not interested in her anymore."
Carmen squinted her eyes at him."So you're telling me you don't want to have sex with her?" She said provokingly and crossed her arms in front of her chest, challenging him.
Dean smirked."If I'd wanted to, I would've fucked her the day she appeared in my study without thinking twice." He shot back, crossing his arms and mirroring her posture. They stared each other down for a couple of minutes until Carmen gave in first. "Okay, I got the message. You don't want her, I believe you."
She uncrossed her arms, placing both hands on Dean's chest and leaned up to kiss him."Thank you for telling me, it means so much to me. And don't you feel better now that I know?"
"Not sure." He frowned, confused by her calm. "I'm a little surprised, I guess. You're not pissed?" He asked softly, wounding his arms around her waist and pulling her close.
"Of course not. Though it'll take some time for me to get over it. But Dean, I've no right to judge your past." She replied, her tone warm and loving.
"Thank you for understanding." Dean said, feeling his heart clench with love for her. "And for being so awesome, babe." He added and Carmen laughed.
Dean decided to take the opportunity since she seemed to be in a good mood.
"So... now that this is over and done with..." He started and Carmen raised an eyebrow expectantly, seeing the familiar mischievous twinkle appear in his eyes. "...you have a little time for me?" Dean asked, grabbing her ass and lifting her up without waiting for a reply. Carmen quickly grasped his shoulders and wrapped her legs around his waist for balance.
"Guess, I can squeeze you in for a couple of hours before my next appointment." She said playfully.
"That's all I wanted to hear." Dean replied with a dirty grin and walked over to the couch.
Dean slipped out of the bathroom and walked over to the closet quietly, not to wake Carmen. He had been too busy with his mate, totally forgetting about the meeting he had that morning and was now running late. Another glance at the clock told him two more minutes had passed and Dean groaned inwardly. He couldn't believe he was late; vampires were never late, it was simply impossible.
But the reason for his unpunctuality was the woman lying in bed a few feet away from him. Carmen just wouldn't let him go and he didn't have the strength to protest; she was too irresistible. They were constantly fighting, yet going at it like wild bunny rabbits. Lately, it was all they had been doing. Hell, and they deserved it; after everything they had been through they had to have the time to rediscover the lust and desire they still sparked within the other. Dean smirked at the thought, a warm surge of ardor rippling through his body at the memory of the past few hours. Nevertheless, he forced himself not to dwell, otherwise he would never make it to work.
He hurried to put his boxers and pants on, trying not to make too much noises, but then froze when he felt Carmen's eyes on him, burning a whole into his back.
"Leaving so soon?" He heard her seductive purr and swallowed hard. Hesitantly, he turned to face her.
Carmen laid against the pillows with a sleepy smile on her face, looking intently at him with that triumphant glint in her eyes. The blanket was pulled up to her chest properly, but luckily Dean got to see one perfect bare leg that wasn't covered. She was naked, warm and waiting for him.
Carmen leaned up on her elbows to have a better look at his body and still bare chest.
"Don't put a shirt on. Get back here." She whispered, her raspy voice cutting the silence gently and clouding his senses again.
"I can't." Dean chocked out helplessly, feeling the pain of not being able to be with her almost physically. Why did she have to torture him like that?
Carmen chuckled and sat up, the blanket slipping off of her and revealing her chest.
"You'd rather go to work than have sex with me?" She continued to tease and Dean groaned in annoyance."Jesus, Carmen, I really feel like killing you right now."
The restrained frustration she heard in his tone amused her; she smiled evilly as he walked over to her and sat down on the edge of the bed. Carmen put her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his and kissing him deeply. Dean kissed her back, but when she tried to pull him down on top of her, he got out of her hold and scooted away a little.
Carmen raised an eyebrow, surprised that he was resisting her. She knew she should let him go to work, but she couldn't. Again, the fact that she was so addicted to him, especially now after she finally knew what was going on, scared her. Dean felt the same way, she could see it in his eyes. He needed to be with her, too, but at the same time that thin invisible thread that was binding a vampire to another still made him feel uncomfortable. She sighed at the thought, ignoring it. The need to be close to him was stronger than anything else.
"I don't want you to go." She whispered, voicing her thoughts and making Dean groan."I know. I don't wanna leave, either."
Carmen opened her legs slightly, causing the blanket to slip off of her and reveal her body completely. "Come here." She purred invitingly.
Dean's eyes travelled over her figure, taking everything in; he had to swallow hard when his gaze wandered over her long legs and froze on the soft spot between her thighs. He needed to touch her.
He leaned closer and cupped her breast, circling one nipple with his thumb and then ran his hand slowly down her stomach and over her thigh all the way down to her knee.
Carmen shivered and closed her eyes, arching up into his touch and sighing contentedly. Dean couldn't resist; his hand moved automatically up her inner thigh slowly and teasingly before he brushed her hot wet center with his fingertips. Carmen let out another moan.
"Please, don't do this to me." Dean said hoarsely, in utter agony. "You know I want nothing more than stay here with you."
He could feel that she wasn't just teasing him this time; her urge to be with him was very strong and evident, seeping through his body and calling to him. Carmen saw Dean's struggle; he was supposed to attend his meeting, but he also had and wanted to fulfill his mate's wish. And now she was obligated to put him out of his misery.
"This is all yours, Winchester." She said with a sigh, gesturing down her body. "And it'll be waiting for you tonight."
"Good to know." Dean grinned, relieved and thankful."Does this mean you're allowing me to go?"
"Yes." She pouted."This is the only thing I hate about being a vampire. I'm freakin' adiccted to you, it can't be good."
Dean leaned over her and started to kiss his way up her stomach, making Carmen gasp. "Forgive me, my love." He said quietly, placing kisses onto her chest and collarbone. Then he kissed her lips one last time and got up."Stay here and don't go anywhere. I'll be home soon."
He put on his shirt, tie and jacket fast, turning to look at her. "I'm so going to regret this." He mumbled sadly, winked at her and rushed out the room.
A/N: I hope this isn't confusing, I have everything planned out, so please trust me. Please leave a review and let me know what you think.
Thank you for reading everyone and big thanks to Violet Jayde Elizabeth Rose for reviewing the last chapter, you're the best!