Chapter 4
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, setting, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. All other concepts and ideas from other books or stories belong to their respective authors. No copyright infringement is intended.
AN: This is the last of my pre-written chapters and I'm currently writing chapter 5. It'll probably come out soon since I'm in the flow right now but no promises. I wanna write this without pressure. Hope you enjoy this chapter!
A week had passed since Harry's meeting Rias and her peerage. Since then, they had become very wary of him and for good reason. Harry hadn't exactly been sensitive to the feelings of that pawn Issei. Normally he would have just told Issei that Asia was safe. Instead he whad been cryptic and generally a dick and while he did think the Kotomine impression was funny, perhaps he should have been more humane in his interactions with them.
To make things worse, in the meeting he'd threatened to simply have Issei assassinated. That was completely out of character for him and after he'd pranked Rias by replacing her Evil pieces, he began to realize that something was wrong. So he used his powers and searched inside himself.
It didn't take long before he realized the problem: God's emotions.
Well, technically his past life's emotions. When God died at the end of the Great War, he'd had a lot of resentment towards Devils and Fallen Angels and it was still very strong. Now those emotions had returned along with his memories and were beginning to bleed into Harry's current actions, hence his earlier threats.
Therefore, Harry sought to solve the problem as best he could. He couldn't just rid himself of his emotions like flipping a switch. They were a part of him and trying to do so would only make him more unbalanced.
Luckily, Harry had already dealt with something similar after the war against Voldemort. He had gone to a Squib psychologist to help him deal with his emotions from the war and even learned Occlumency to help sort it all out. He employed Occlumency now to help him deal with the emotions from his previous life by understanding the reasons behind it.
He started to understand that the reason God hated the Devils so much was not because of what they were but because of the effect they had on humans. They encouraged vice, hatred and desire, uncaring as to the effect it had on humanity as a whole. Harry absently wondered how many psychopaths or serial killers were created by devils fulfilling people's desires again and again until the person felt entitled to whatever they wanted.
The Fallen Angels were similar, giving humanity knowledge of things before they were ready for it, messing with humanity's natural growth. Worse yet was that by giving them such knowledge too early, war and death were the inevitable result. A good example was when Azazel gave them knowledge of weapons of war to aid in their hunting. He meant well but by giving them knowledge without the wisdom to use it, he unintentionally damaged their growth.
Even today, humans tended to rush forward, learning things without really thinking of the consequences or repercussions of what they learn. The atomic theory is a very good example which led to the creation of the atom bomb. A weapon that was created and used before they were wise enough to understand the dangers behind it.
God/Harry had gone to war with them for this very reason. If they hadn't insisted on continuing to interfere in humanity's development, he would have left them alone. Yet they had and eventually, he could no longer stand aside and let it happen.
And in his absence, things had become even worse. Not only were the new Four Great Satans even stronger, but they had even created the Evil Piece System, something that was even worse than simply fulfilling contracts. They turned normal humans into devils, which was bad enough if they did it without that human's consent. However, what was worse was that they tended to hunt Sacred Gear holders to turn.
Sacred Gears had been his creation made out of a portion of his own essence. He had seen the devastation the War was causing and decided to create something for humanity to defend itself in case the worse happened. The Sacred Gear holders were meant to not only defend humanity from the deprivations of supernatural beings (gods included) but also to help guide humanity to a better future.
Yet here were the devils, poaching the Sacred Gear holders for no better reason than to satisfy their vanity and pride. They could easily repopulate their species with any old human off the street, heck even beautiful men and women, but that was not enough for their pride. No, they had to pick the best of humanity for their own selfish gain.
However, Harry knew he and Heaven were in a bad position at the moment. Even with the System giving the Angels the upper hand, this was easily negated by the existence of Fallen Angels. And with Devils in possession of Sacred Gear holders, much less Longinus like the Boosted Gear, they had a good chance of actually killing him if it came to it.
No, he would have to tip the scales further in his favor. He didn't want another War and sincerely wished for peace, especially since he had seen that the Devils had changed in the intervening years since his death. Maybe it was the inclusion of former humans in their ranks or maybe it was going to happen anyway, but devils had become more, dare he say it, humane in the past two centuries.
Regardless of this, if peace was going to occur, it would be on his terms. Heaven could not be the weaker Faction but the one calling the shots. Both Harry and God had their pride and neither would bend to the whims of anyone, much less Devils who are clearly in the wrong. He had already taken certain steps to ensure they would be in a much stronger position.
Telling Rias, and consequently her brother Sizechs Lucifer, about the Deathly Hallows was meant as a way to distract them as to what he was truly doing. The first thing he did was close the Gates of Heaven forbidding any Angel from going down to Earth or even communicating with Earth until he said so. This was to stop any rumors of his return from leaking while he built up their forces. Then, he created ten thousand new Angels.
It had taken a lot out of him and he'd had to miss school that day but it was worth it. They were even now being trained by their brethren in their powers. During the War, new Angels were basically thrown to the wolves, much to his shame, without instruction. Raynare had been one such and would have died if Azazel, of all people, hadn't saved her. It was probably that that caused her to fall in love with him and later Fall.
Unfortunately, none of the new Angels were above six wings at the moment, much less a Seraph or Archangel. He had managed to empower his Seraph even further after assuring their loyalty and they were now all twelve-winged much like Michael. Michael was still much stronger as their leader but now any of them could defeat a Satan and Michael could probably go toe to toe with a superdevil if necessary.
However, that was just the beginning. Harry had then changed the System to account for the existence of the Evil Piece System. Now, any Sacred Gear or Holy Sword wielder that was resurrected as a devil lost their Sacred Gear/Holy Sword. In the latter's case especially, he did not want them in the hands of devils. The Holy Swords were his own personal creations to help human exorcists stand a chance against more powerful devils. They had no place in the hands of devils.
He was also thinking of creating more Sacred Gears and Holy Swords based on some anime he'd seen. It would awesome to create Holy Swords similar to the zanpakuto from Bleach. Maybe make it so "releasing" the sword empowered their bodies much like Ichigo's Bankai?
Those were thoughts for another time but for now, Harry was sure that no more Sacred Gear holders would fall into devil hands. It was bad enough that Boosted Gear wielder, one of the few Gears capable of killing him at his current level, was now a devil while Divine Dividing, it's opposite and counterpart, was in line with the Fallen. He didn't even know where the other Longinus were which set him on edge.
Rias had been right in a way. The fact that so many Sacred Gears capable of killing him were unaccounted for did worry him. Harry may not like the fact that he's now God and therefore responsible for billions of people, but he didn't want to die. And as he was now, he was very vulnerable.
He may have the memories of being God, but not the skills. He was trying to fix that by sparring with his Seraph but while he was learning quickly, he had still to beat even Gabriel, the most non-aggressive of his Seraph. Still, he should be up to his previous skill within the month if he continued to relearn everything at his current rate. By then, his plans should have taken root and he would reveal his return to the world.
All of this would be unneeded if he could access all 100% of his power. A god's power came from his believers and the more followers, the more powerful said god was. Harry himself was the god of Christianity, Judaism, and all their various branches and denominations. In total, Harry called on the belief of almost 95% of the world's religions, empowering him far more than any other pantheon.
God of Gods.
That was the title the other pantheons had given him. At his prime, only Great Red surpassed him and that only because his power was limitless while Harry's was not. He had been powerful enough to even seal away 666 (Trihexa) alone, albeit using thousands upon thousands of seals. Yet his power had caused the other pantheons fear, especially when he released his people from the Egyptians so easily, the dominating religion of the region at the time. Their fear had reached such a level that they threatened to sponsor the Devils and Fallen Angels against him out of fear.
The reason he couldn't create Archangels just yet was because he was still not at 100%. Before the War, he'd had to seal Trihexa away using thousands upon thousands of seals. The effort had drained him of the majority of his power. Worse yet, the other Pantheons saw his weakness and looked to take advantage of it (with the exception of Asgard and the Amatsu-Kami). To prevent this, he signed a treaty with the other Pantheons that bound him at his current level of power, about equal to a normal chieftain god. This eventually led to his death at the hands of the Four Great Satans due to his exhausted state though he at least took them down with him.
The energy he'd used never returned thanks to him signing the treaty with the other Pantheons soon after sealing away Trihexa. To prevent them from joining the the Devils and Fallen Angels to kill him in his weakened state, he'd signed the treaty binding him to his current level of power at the time unless certain conditions were met. In return, the Pantheons were bound to not interfere with the his "territory" and all those who fell under his religion.
It had been a hard decision but in the end, he would rather have died against the Satans knowing humanity would no longer fall under the cruel rule of people like the Egyptian gods or Greeks than risk the other Pantheons interfering and bringing even more devastation due to the war between them. His best friend, Odin, and his girlfriend at the time, Amaterasu, would have no doubt aided him but that would only have brought war to their people. Something he did not wish at all.
It had been soon after the treaty's signing that the Great War had broken out, Lucifer and the Satans believing they could win now that he was weakened. Of course, they had been wrong and Heaven would have won the war in the end. After all, how can one win against a neverending army that had the elemental advantage? However, he had gotten cocky and faced all Four Satans at once, wanting to finish it. His arrogance became his undoing and he would have died for good if he hadn't created his reincarnation and Hallows plan as a fallback before the War started.
If Harry had his full power as the God of Gods, then he wouldn't need all this subterfuge to maintain Heaven's superiority. Heck, if he had his full power then not even all the Longinus, Fallen Angels and Ultimate-class devils combined could give him so much as a bruise, much less kill him.
But he didn't and so he was forced to do all this to boost Heaven's position. By the time any of the other Factions found out what he was doing then Heaven would be in the strongest position instead of the Underworld.
Either way, Harry was very busy as he took his responsibilities seriously. His office in the back of the church was cluttered with thousands of papers filled with ideas strewn about. One wall had a large board with papers attached with the more viable ideas with lines interconnecting a few where some ideas overlapped.
However, by far the worst time-consumer of all was the laptop. Harry had gotten the idea from the movie "Bruce Almighty", where he'd connected the incoming prayers to an e-mail's inbox. Every single night after school, since he didn't need to sleep, he would sit down and read and answer all the prayers. There were never less than millions at a time and more incoming every second. Luckily, most prayers were either giving thanks or asking for something stupid so he could either skip them or ignore them. However, once in a while he got a prayer from someone in need of real help and he either sent an Angel to help indirectly or went himself, more the former than the latter.
Harry never really understood how much worse other people had it compared to him but he must have been alerted to over a thousand incidences of child abuse in the first night alone. Luckily, all he had to do in most cases was have police get a 'hunch' and investigate to help the child in question. Police had mysteriously gotten much more competent in the last week, that was for sure.
Harry was currently using the time before going to school to create another Sacred Gear. He was concentrating on the final phase which was giving it physical form when the doors opened and Raynare walked in followed by a happy and excited Asia. Today both would be going to school with him after some asking (read, begging) on Asia's part. He also saw it as a way for Raynare to redeem herself by not only learning to be a normal person by going to school but also protecting Asia.
Both girls paused and their eyes widened at the sight before them.
Between Harry's hands a globe of pulsing yellow light similar to lightning was taking form. The globe seemed to have the consistency of jello as Harry molded it for his purposes. There was a flash of light and in Harry's hands was a small badge with the lightning symbol on it. Harry inspected his work for a moment before nodding and placing it in his Treasure Room. He had made his Treasure Room to hold all his newly-created Sacred Gears and Holy Swords until he was ready to release them into the world. In honor of his favorite anime character, he made it so it appeared behind him much like the Gate of Babylon, with ripples of gold appearing whenever he tossed something in or took something out.
He felt like such a badass. Maybe he should look into making an armor similar to Gilgamesh to complete the look? He could even start calling people mongrels and everything! Or maybe create his own sword similar to Ea? Every other chieftain god had some weapon to symbolize them. Heck, even his best friend Odin had his spear, Gungnir. He wanted something too, dammit!
Harry was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of something dropping. He looked up to see it had been Raynare who had dropped her bookbag in shock while beside her, Asia was on her knees, praying in reverence for some reason.
"Y-You're really Him," whispered Raynare in shock. "I had my doubts but you're really my fa- I mean, God."
Harry felt the longing in Raynare as she accepted that he was indeed her father and he smiled at her. "Yep, I'm your daddy." Harry put on a puppy dog look and stretched out his hands to her. "Aren't you going to give your Papa a hug?"
Raynare blushed and scowled at his words even as Harry felt her joy at them. "S-Shut up! Don't say such embarrassing things!"
Harry's bottom lip quivered as he pretended to be about to cry. "But I want to hug my cute little Ray-chan. I never got to pamper you before because of the War and I want to do it now!"
Raynare blushed even further and visibly fought from doing what she secretly wanted and getting a hug from her father. "S-Shut up! You're embarrassing! Plus, I'm a Fallen! How can you love me after that!?"
"So?" shrugged Harry easily, dropping the over-dramatics. "Just because you all Fell doesn't mean I stopped loving you. In fact, my love for you made the betrayal hurt all the more which is why I was aggressive against you. You hurt me and I lashed out but that doesn't mean I stopped loving you. Each and every one of you were my children and meant the world to me. Even you, my precious little Ray-chan."
Raynare blushed and fought back a smile at his words. A warmth had filled her chest at hearing that from her father, the first time she'd ever heard such loving words from anyone, really. The fact it came from her father, someone so powerful and wise, made it all the better.
Wanting to change the subject, Raynare turned to what she and Asia had seen when they entered. "A-Anyway, what was that you made when we entered? It looked and felt sort of like a Sacred Gear."
"That's because it was," confirmed Harry easily. "I've noticed that Devils have been basically poaching the Sacred Gear holders by turning them into devils so I've been making more. I've also changed the System so that if someone with a Sacred Gear is turned into a devil then they would lose said Sacred Gear. I can't do much about the ones they currently have, not without killing them anyway, but they'll no longer gain any more Sacred Gears holders."
"Aren't you worried about the ones they have?" asked Raynare in worry. "You told me that that idiot Issei has the Boosted Gear which is supposedly capable of killing you. Shouldn't you do something about that before he gets strong enough to kill you?"
"I-Issei," said Asia meekly. "Issei wouldn't do that. He's a nice person. He wouldn't hurt you, Father."
Harry smiled softly at Asia after sending Raynare a warning look when he saw her about to say something scathing. "Maybe but either way, I've taken steps to make sure it doesn't happen. Anyway." Harry clapped his hands and used his powers to change his clothing to the Kuoh Academy clothing. "Time for school. But first..."
Harry walked toward Raynare and laid a hand on her head. Raynare felt a rush of energy and a pair of gray wings erupted from her back. Raynare marveled at them before turning to Harry with a look of confusion.
"Consider yourself on probation," said Harry seriously. "I'm giving you these powers so you can defend Asia in case anything happens with the devils. If you prove yourself then they'll not only become permanent but even white if you so desire."
Rayanre's eyes widened at his words and she looked down, conflicted. "I..."
Harry laid a gentle hand on her shoulder and smile reassuringly. "Think about it and remember that no matter what, I'll always love you, my daughter."
Raynare blushed and quickly changed the subject once more. "Anyway! What are your plans now that you're being active again?"
"I plan to make peace between the three factions," replied Harry, feeling the power he used to create the Sacred Gear returning. "But first I need to get Heaven back to full strength and then I'll deal with the other two factions. I'm pretty sure none of them wants war and with the war mongers pretty much gone, peace is quite viable. It just requires someone to make the first step."
"Even with it viable that doesn't mean that the Devils or Fallen Angels are going to give peace for nothing," pointed out Raynare cynically. "Devils especially are very selfish and are going to want something in return."
"Don't worry," Harry replied. "I have a feeling that a great opportunity will present itself to take care of the devils soon enough. Azazel, if I'm right, should be easy enough to deal with. According to my memories, besides being a pervert, he always was the inquisitive type, so I'm pretty there's something I can offer that will placate him and he's pretty peaceful too so that helps."
"If you say so," Raynare responded with a sigh. "But the Devils have been on top for over a century now. I doubt they'll agree to a peace where they don't end up with the superior position."
"Well, their superiority has come to an end," said Harry firmly. "By the time I'm done it'll be Heaven who'll hold the superior position. I won't allow them to do as they please any longer. It's time to bring them to heel."
Both Asia and Raynare felt bolstered by his words, not only because of the strength behind them but because of the conviction. Perhaps things would change for the better now.
"Oh and don't think I won't be keeping an eye on you," warned Harry seriously. "I truly wish to welcome you back home but if you abuse this chance then you won't get another." Harry's eyes shone white for a second. "And I'll punish you... personally."
"I understand perfectly," assured Rayanre with a gulp of fear.
"Good, I've prepared Asia's records for school. I just need an alias for you," stated Harry as he summoned the papers into his hands.
"Put me down as Yuuma Amano," said Raynare with a sigh. She was not looking forward to seeing that pervert Issei again, especially considering their last encounter. "It's the name I always use whenever I enter the human world."
"Don't worry," said Harry reassuringly as he saw her worry about meeting the Devils again. "The Devils won't try anything during the day and they don't have the balls to attack this place. So you're going to be fine"
"I'm not so sure of that," mumbled Raynare, mostly to herself.
"I said you'll be fine," said Harry firmly. "You're under my protection so if they try anything then they'll have to go through me." He smiled and winked at her. "I won't let anyone hurt my cute little Ray-chan."
Raynare blushed at that and pushed him away, desperately trying to hide her red cheeks. "W-Whatever, stupid! Let's just go!"
Harry snickered as he confirmed his hypothesis. His cute little Raynare was a tsundere! Oh, he was going to have so much fun with her.
Turning to a confused Asia, Harry smiled. "Let's go to school then, Asia. I'm sure you'll love it."
As they left and Harry made Raynare's transfer papers, he made a mental note to ask about whether she knew anyone named Luna. It couldn't just be a coincidence, could it?
The group had made good time and Harry, or Kirei Kotomine as he was known at school, was standing outside the gate with Raynare also known as Yuma Amano and Asia Argento all in their respective uniforms.
"So this is school. It's so big," remarked Asia in wonder, having never so much as seen a school before.
"Meh, its ok, I suppose," said Raynare with a sigh. "I just wish I didn't have to come back to school... again."
"You had to go to school a lot before?" asked Kirei in amusement.
"You have no idea," mumbled Raynare lowly. "Though this would be the first time I go to a school where devils who want to kill me attend."
"Oh relax," said Kirei cheerfully. "Nothing will happen to you. None of the devils will dare attack you in public with so many witnesses."
"Maybe not the others but I don't think Issei will care much for consequences when he sees me with Asia," responded Raynare dryly. "He'll probably attack first and ask questions never."
"Look you're a female right?" said Kotomine with a sigh. "Use that to your advantage and make sure you and Asia stay with the crowds. You'll be fine."
"And what will you be doing?" inquired Raynare with a raised eyebrow.
"I will be continuing my prank war with my arch rival Rias," explained Kirei seriously. "I have to be on guard for her revenge prank because I got her yesterday with a stampede of goats."
"Goats?" asked Raynare in confusion. "How on earth would you even...You know what?" Rayanre shook her head as if shaking an image from her head. "I don't even want to know. Just please don't get me involved in this."
The bell rang signaling everyone to get to class.
"Come on, its class time and you two are in the same class as me," said Kotomine cheerfully.
"And just how do you know-?" Raynare was cut off as a thought came into her head and she mentally face palmed. "Oh, God, right," deadpanned Raynare dryly. "You know everything."
"That and I just read the teachers' minds," explained Kirei easily before turning serious. "Oh and remember both of you, no revealing my true identity. I am Kirei Kotomine as far as everyone here is concerned, even the devils have no idea of my true identity and let's keep it that way for now, understood?"
"Yes sir," said Asia and Raynare in stereo although Raynare sounded less enthusiastic than Asia did.
As expected Issei was not happy to see his ex-girlfriend Yuuma that only he and his devil companions remembered. While he was happy to know that Asia was safe and sound, he was not happy that she was hanging around his murderous ex-girlfriend. So to try and keep her safe, he was quick to confront the two at lunch time.
"What do you think you're doing with Asia?" demanded Issei of the Fallen Angel turned bodyguard.
"Hello to you too darling," greeted Raynare sarcastically. "How have you been? Missed me?"
"Do you two know each other?" asked Asia in confusion.
"Yeah she's the reason I became a devil in the first place," explained Issei angrily as the memory of the night Raynare killed him came through his mind.
"Well that's all in the past now dear," said Raynare with a grin now emulating Yuuma's voice. "I've been told to keep this nun safe so that's what I'm going to do." Rayanre narrowed her hands at her "ex-boyfriend". "So hands off, pervert."
"I won't let you hurt her, you evil bitch," said Issei with a growl, taking a step towards Raynare.
"Not so fast darling," warned Raynare seriously. "If you take one more step I swear I'll scream rape and you'll find yourself neck deep in sexual harassment and assault charges." She smiled evilly at her ex. "When that happens you'll be sent to prison where I'm sure you'll lose your virginity... though probably not the virginity you were aiming for."
Turning pale white at the mental image, Issei quickly denied it. "But I haven't even-"
"That's right you haven't yet," agreed Raynare easily. "And even if you don't, who do you think this crowd of people will be more inclined to believe: me, the sweet, innocent new girl, or you, the well-known pervert?"
Issei froze and looked around. Several girls in the crowd and even some guys were giving him unhappy looks. Some of the guys looked ready to pounce; even some of the kendo club had their shinai ready should he make a wrong move.
"That my darling is what we in the biz call checkmate," said Raynare smugly.
This was when Asia had had enough.
"Come on, stop it," yelled Asia with surprising assertiveness. "I don't know what happened but Yuuma is my friend and without her you and I wouldn't have even met Issei. She called me here originally and gave me a place to live. So can't you at least accept her as my friend? I'm not asking you to be friends with her but are you going to let something that happened and wound up giving you a new life make you abandon our friendship?"
Issei thought for a few seconds. On one hand Raynare had killed him and the memory of that night still haunted him sometimes. On the other, Asia was right. Without Raynare he and Asia would never have met and become friends. So after thinking it through, he came to a conclusion.
"Alright Asia," said Issei slowly. "I'm not going to forgive Yuuma, but I won't let her come between our friendship ok?"
"I'm glad," said Asia happily "I knew you'd see it my way."
Issei noted that for moment Raynare looked slightly unhappy but the expression was gone as quick as it came. So knowing that Asia was safe he walked away to find Kiba and tell him the [good?] news.
Meanwhile, Kirei Kotomine was opening his locker and he swiftly stepped aside, dodging a spring loaded boxing glove.
"Really Rias the old boxing glove in the locker trick?" said Kirei with a disappointed sigh. "That's a really old one. I thought you could do better than th-"
Kirei was interrupted as he pulled on the glove to remove it only to be covered neon green paint. He stood stunned for a moment before using his powers to remove the paint. Luckily no one was around to see his short demonstration of power.
'Very good Rias,' thought Kirei through narrowed eyes. 'I'll have to think of a good one in revenge for this.'
Kotomine paused his thinking as he heard voices coming from the student council room. He swore he heard the name Kotomine mentioned so he withdrew his invisibility cloak from his pocket. One of the perks with being God was that his pockets were bigger on the inside without having to use magic, which could be detected.
He then put the cloak over himself and felt the world change around him. At full power, the cloak had the ability to phase the user out of the current dimension making them unable to be detected by the five main senses, magic and even allowing them to pass through solid objects. But years of use by humans weakened this to mere invisibility.
Harry, however, had taken the time to re-charge the power of the cloak restoring it to its full glory. Maybe now that the Hallows had served their purpose he could turn them into pseudo-Sacred Gears? After all, he didn't need the cloak to do what he was currently doing although doing it himself would attract attention due to the powers he let out. He'd think about it later.
For now, he phased through the wall and entered the student council room where Sona seemed to be speaking with her peerage. Standing near the back to get a good view on everyone, he listened in on Sona Sitri and her peerage. Unsurprisingly, he was the topic of discussion.
"About Kirei Kotomine, have we discovered anything about him besides what Rias told us?" asked Sona seriously.
"No ma'am," said Genshirou Saji. "We've been so far unable to discover anything other than that he lives at the previously abandoned church along with the Fallen Angel Yuma Amano a.k.a Raynare and the stray nun Asia Argento who wields the Sacred gear Twilight Healing."
"So a Fallen Angel and a stray nun," mused Sona thoughtfully. "Any possibility that he's affiliated with the Fallen Angels?"
"No president." It was Tsubaki that spoke up this time. "When Kotomine first came to town he was seen storming the church by some of our familiars with only a shotgun. Shortly afterwards, the stray exorcists in the church were seen fleeing. Among them was one Freed Sellzen, who is well known for his capacity for violence no matter what the odds. It would take something very powerful to make him flee."
"And yet all of our senses say that Kotomine is nothing more than a mere human," replied Sona with a confused look. "He's so weak that- Bulla blah, bulla blabity bulla bla!"
Everyone eyes widened at their president suddenly uttering gibberish. Sona didn't look pleased either while Kotomine simply held in snickers as he continued to mess with Sona.
"Blabity blab bulla blah," Sona was unable to get anything understandable out as she continued to try and speak. "Kaa kaa poo poo. PEE PEE!"
The student council didn't know what to make of it and most tried to keep grins off of their faces for fear of their president's wrath. It didn't work very well as two were obviously giggling under their breaths.
"Ahem," Sona cleared her throat and glared, daring her peerage to say anything before trying to ignore what just happened and continuing. "Judging by his accent I'd say he's from Britain and my tiny little nipples are from France."
The student council looked mortified, while Saji looked like he was seconds away from a nosebleed. Sona tried to regain her dignity and spoke as if nothing had happened.
"Alright so in conclusion-" Sona was cut off once again as Kirei placed his hand under his armpit and began doing armpit farts which came from Sona in the form of real ones.
"Ffffppbbttbbbt." Sona went red unable to hide her embarrassment anymore . "prrrt! prrrrrrrvt! THPPTPHTPHPHHPH!
The last one lifted up Sona's skirt, revealing her black panties causing the sole male member of her peerage to get a nosebleed, much to her displeasure. She was quick to demonstrate said displeasure on Saji in form of gratuitous violence. The females however could help themselves and burst out laughing at their stoic presidents' rage and embarrassment.
With the student council president sufficiently embarrassed, Kotomine stealthily left the room and went down the corridor before taking the cloak off and stuffing it in his pocket. He laughed to himself before checking the clock.
"Hmm its home time," observed Kotomine calmly. "I think I'll pay Rias a visit. Without her knowledge of course. Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise."
Rias Gremory was staring down Riser Phenex, her unwanted fiancé who had come to try and force her back to the underworld and into marrying her. She hated the fact that her parents were forcing her to marry this asshole and even it meant dishonoring her family then by the Maou she would do it to escape this contract! Suddenly, a cold gust of wind blew throughout the room dissipating Risers hot aura which had filled the room after he threatened to kill her peerage.
Akeno asked what everyone else was thinking. "Say were those windows open before?"
Akeno was correct, as two previously unopened windows had seemingly opened by themselves. Thinking back to the past week, only one person could have done this with only a single reason but she was too late. As she opened her mouth to shout a warning at the group, through the windows came a barrage of...pies?
Yes, pies of every flavor came pouring through the window and missed Rias and her peerage, as well as Grayfia, entirely. Instead they began pelting Riser and his entire peerage, ruining their clothing completely. Cream, chocolate, apple, blueberry, cherry and many other flavors covered the arrogant phoenix and his peerage head to toe.
Within moments the barrage ended and a paper plane flew in one of the windows to be caught by Akeno. She unfolded it and read out the message that was written on it.
'Dear Rias, I hope you enjoyed my Gate of Piebylon.
Love, Kotomine
P.S. This message will become a duck in three seconds.'
After three seconds, the piece of paper did indeed become a duck, to be specific a Rouen duck. Rias couldn't help it and soon she was holding her stomach laughing as was the rest of her peerage. Even Grayfia was struggling to hold back the smile on her face.
"QUACK!" sounded out the duck indignantly. It promptly flew out of Akeno's hand and over to Riser who had just finished removing the pie from his upper body. It landed on his head and decided to take a dump on his head.
Riser responded by attempting to incinerate the duck. This only caused it to multiply into fifteen ducks which all began taking craps over Risers Peerage, much to their disgust and frustration.
Rias peerage was in stiches but Rias herself had managed to get herself under control. The source of her constant frustration and rival this past week had just inadvertently provided her with a small avenue of hope for freedom.
"You know Riser, I don't think your good enough for me," declared Rias to which Riser narrowed his eyes. "After all, you were just humiliated by what most likely was a human who used only pies and ducks. So why should I marry someone like that?"
"Alright then we'll have a Rating Game!" yelled Riser angrily as his peerage attempted to clean themselves off. "I'll even give you two weeks to prepare for your defeat. Not that it'll matter since our victory is assured."
Rias couldn't keep the grin off her face. "We'll see who defeats who Riser," responded Rias confidently.
Risers retort was cut off by a noise from above. Everyone looked to see that the fifteen ducks had settled into the rafters above. One of the ducks let out a Quack that sounded suspiciously like the word 'Ready'. All at once the ducks turned around so that their backsides were facing Riser and his peerage.
"Quack" (Aim)
The ducks all seemed to get a better lock on Riser and his peerage.
"QUACK!" (FIRE)
All at once the ducks began bombarding the Phenex scion and his peerage with their waste in an seemingly endless barrage.
"Aghh ugggh"
"This is disgusting"
"Ew gross"
These were just some of the complaints of Risers peerage.
"This isn't over Rias," declared Riser angrily. "Not by a long sho-ugghh some of it just went into my mouth!"
With that Riser quickly retreated through a magic circle. The ducks stopped their…business as soon as Riser was gone.
"Well," giggled Akeno, finally getting herself under control and wiping a few tears of mirth away from her eyes. "It seems Kotomine isn't all that bad after all, is he Buchou?"
"No he isn't Akeno," Rias agreed while Kiba and Issei were still laughing and even Koneko had a smile on her face. "Not bad at all... for a priest anyway."
'Thank you Kotomine' Rias gave her thought out to the priest/prankster/rival. 'You just bought me some much needed time and just maybe if I'm lucky, my freedom from that lewd phoenix wannabe.'
Meanwhile, a certain wizard/god/priest and an ex-fallen angel were running away from the old school building.
"That was priceless," said Raynare through bouts of laughter. "Did you see the look on that shitty stuck up devils face?"
"Yep that was priceless," agreed Harry happily as the two left the schools grounds. "Oh by the way did you record it?"
"Got it all right here," Raynare held up a phone with a recording of the prank in HD. "Uploading and done, pretty soon the entire underworld will know of Riser Phenex's humiliation."
Secretly, Harry was glad that Riser was gone. No one got to antagonize Rias but him. Nobody and if he had anything to say about it, that was how it was going to stay. The two eventually saw Asia waving at them from the gates.
"Hi guys, where were you two?" greeted Asia cheerfully. "I've been waiting all this time."
"Oh we were just delivering some pies and ducks to a bird enthusiast," explained Harry with a smirk.
"Yeah I don't think he was too happy though," said Raynare, also smirking.
"Oh and why do you think that?" asked Asia with concern.
"Because his feathers were all ruffled by the end of our 'delivery'," said Harry, fighting back his mad laughter. "And he smelled awful too. Almost like he'd been rained on by bird poop."
Raynare couldn't hold it anymore and she along with Harry cackled madly which only added to Asia's confusion as they continued on ahead.
"H-Hey guys!" yelled Asia in panic as she saw them walking away. "Wait for me!"
So the healing nun ran to catch up with the former fallen angel and the wizard turned god.
AN: And there's chapter 4!
Hope you liked the comedy in this chapter cause it cracked me up. I always wondered why someone didn't try to mess with Riser when he appeared. It would be too easy.
And yes, I've turned Raynare into a tsundere. At least in regards to her father-daughter relationship with Harry. There's gonna be a lot of tsundere moments between them in the future. Lol. I don't think anyone realizes that him being God basically makes him the father of all the Angels and paternal grandfather (in a way) of the Devils. So I'm gonna have Harry act like the idiot Daddy from time to time to embarrass the Angels (Fallen or not) in the story.
As always, Read and Review!