Prompt: Frustrated
Rating: K+

"Am I to assume that congratulations are in order?" Emily waited until they were both in the car, with the beach – and the team – behind them before speaking. She glanced at Jess out of the corner of her eye, her heart aching for her young friend as the Field Co-ordinator sat in the passenger seat, twisting her wedding and engagement rings around on her finger. "Are you not pleased?"

"Oh, I am. I really am." Jess was quick to answer, glancing at Emily with a bright smile on her face. A smile that crumpled as she remembered why she was sitting in a car with her friend and not her husband. "But I want to be able to enjoy it, you know? Not spend every second of every minute walking on eggshells around Hil or Abby or anyone else because they're afraid I'm going to get hurt."

Emily's smile was soft and understanding. "They care about you, Jess. We all do. After what you went through, no one wants to see you get hurt again."

"Neither do I!" Jess returned, placing her hand over her still flat stomach protectively. "But I don't want to spend the next seven, eight months feeling suffocated. I want to be able to enjoy it. I want Hil to enjoy it. But since he found out..." She shook her head and went back to staring out of the window at the passing scenery. "He was happy at first but I'm not so sure he is now."

"Of course he is still happy, Jess..."

"You can't know that, Emily. I don't even know that. I don't even know if Hil does." Jess lifted her hand to wipe at her cheek, sniffling as she tried to keep hold of her composure.

Not knowing what to say, the older woman lapsed into silence and concentrated on driving. It was only after she had safely parked in an empty space near the Becker household that Emily turned to Jess and spoke again. "You discussed having children, did you not? Before you were married?"

Jess nodded, but her eyes still shimmered. "We agreed we both wanted them. It's not that we don't, or at least that I don't. It's just the timing, Em. And the way he's been walking on eggshells around me ever since I told him! Like he's afraid I'm going to break at the smallest thing."

"That's simply because he is afraid, Jess. He loves you. Truly." Of that, the Victorian woman had no doubt. "I understand your frustration at being coddled, but I can also understand it from Becker's point of view. He almost lost you less than a month ago – he could have so easily lost both you and your child. It stands to reason that he will worry more about you now with those memories so fresh in his mind."

"That doesn't explain everything, Emily," Jess countered softly, staring at her hands as she clasped them in her lap.

Emily waited, expecting Jess to continue. Her concern grew when the younger woman remained silent instead. "Shall we go inside?" She suggested after a long pause. "I would quite like a cup of tea."

A cup of tea wasn't going to fix it.

A bottle of tequila wouldn't fix it, even if she had been able to drink. The big bar of chocolate in the kitchen cupboard Becker had slipped into their shopping trolley without her noticing last time they'd gone shopping might've helped but Jess felt a little queasy as she remembered the look on her husband's face when she'd mentioned the 'D' word so decided to forgo that, too.

She sat down on the sofa in the conservatory with Emily – one of her favourite rooms in the house, thanks to view of the garden when she and Becker had gotten married – and stared sightlessly into her tea cup as her friend sat beside her in companionable silence.

"What else is wrong, Jess?" Emily asked after allowing the silence to stretch on for as long as she was able. When Jess remained silent, Emily set her cup of tea down on the table in front of her and turned to look at her. "You know you can tell me anything, Jessica, and it will go no further than you and I."

Jess nodded but felt her cheeks burn. She put her own cup of untouched tea down and clasped her hands in her lap as she stared out of the window. "He won't... We haven't..." Her voice faltered and she blushed furiously under the Victorian's steady gaze.

It took her a few moments, but Emily understood the source of Jess's discomfort in the end. "You have not had relations since you discovered you were pregnant."

"Yes. I mean, no. We haven't." Jess bit her lip and forced herself to meet Emily's gaze. "At first I thought he was just being cautious because I was injured but now... There's absolutely no reason why we can't but he won't. And that's not like him. It's not like us." She glanced away again as another blush stole across her features. "It's never been a problem for us before. I've never... I've never questioned whether he was attracted to me before."

"And you are now?" Emily prompted when Jess fell silent again. She reached out and covered Jess's hands with her own when the younger woman only fidgeted in response. "Have you tried talking to him, Jess? I am sure if you explained how you feel..."

"He'll just tell me I'm being stupid," Jess protested, a frustrated tear slipping down her cheek. "And then maybe if I'm lucky, he'll kiss me goodnight before lying on his side of the bed until I fall asleep. That's what he does. Sometimes I'll wake up in his arms but as soon as I try anything, he'll move away or develop a sudden need for a shower or decide to go for a run and of course I'm not allowed to go running anymore because heaven forbid I fall over my own feet and do something to hurt myself or the baby."

When Jess paused to catch her breath, Emily seized her chance to speak. "You need to explain this to your husband, Jessica. For all of his good qualities, Becker is not the quickest or the most perceptive where emotions are concerned. I am certain that if he realised how upset you were about the lack of intimacy in your relationship, he would wish to change it. Perhaps if you give him a chance to explain his views on the subject..." Emily trailed off and shrugged when Jess only stared at her. "Just talk to him. If nothing else, you will feel better for having broached the subject."

Jess gave another nod but didn't look convinced. After another ten minutes, she reassured Emily she would be fine on her own and insisted her friend return to the anomaly site to help their friends with whatever creature had come through.

It was only after Emily left that Jess realised she hadn't said goodbye to Becker properly for the first time since they'd become a couple, the first time she hadn't told him to be safe and asked him to come home to her since they'd gotten married.

With a soft sigh, a pang of guilt going through her at the memory of the stunned expression on Becker's face when she'd mentioned the 'D' word at the height of her temper, Jess reached for her mobile phone. There was only a slim chance he'd check it, she knew, especially if they were in the middle of a creature hunt, but it would make her feel a little bit better so she quickly typed the message and pressed send.

'Be careful, and stay warm. We're waiting for you to come home. J & bump-to-be xx'

To be continued in 'Nerves'.