Stan turned to his partner and said, "Come on, Heff. Our first stop is this quaint little house."
Then Heff gasped with fear as he recognized the home, "Oh but Stan, this is the home of that giant mouse!" The "giant mouse" he was referring to was Roo, and since Heff's similar to an elephant, he was afraid of mice, but he couldn't tell the difference between a mouse and a kangaroo Joey. He quivered in fear, as Stan sighed in annoyance and rolled his eyes. So typical of his partner to be stupid and scared.
The narrator said, "It looked like Stan will have to raid Kanga and Roo's home by himself, without any aid of his sniveling, cowardly elf."
So Stan grabbed a few empty sacks, took a ladder he found nearby, and then climbed up it, all the way to the roof of the Kangaroos' home. Once he was up there, he hopped into the chimney and slid down it. Once he was inside the house, he dusted the chimney soot off of him. He crawled out of the chimney corner, holding all of the bags. He then crept quietly around the house.
The narrator said quietly, "So the fake Santa woozle sneaked quietly around, to look for the honey stash. He then crept over into the kitchen, and crept like a flash." Yes, he dashed into the kitchen, but dashed quietly so neither Kanga nor Roo could hear him. He smiled in delight and greed as he saw all the honey pots all standing up neatly, around the kitchen, some empty, some full, and some in-between.
The narrator continued, "The greedy woozle saw them, yes, he had definitely found all of the Kangaroos' honey pots, big or small, thin or round. All the honey was usually used by Kanga for her famous holiday honey desserts. The woozle chuckled greedily,"
Stan chuckled greedily, "Guess stealing ALL of these honey pots wouldn't hurt."
As the Santa-disguised woozle began grabbing every last honey pot in the room and stuffing them into his bag carefully, the narrator said "So with great speed and grace, he swiped every pot and stuffed them inside the sack. Any pots remaining, there were not."
We now see Stan slithering like an eel around the living room with a disturbing-looking smirk. "Then, he slithered like an eel, with a smirk so disturbing and shocking, around the living room, and arrived then to the stockings."
Stan stopped where Kanga and Roo's stockings hung, grabbing both stockings, removing them carefully and dumping all their contents into another one of his sacks, which consisted mostly of candy or fruits or both.
"He emptied all the contents of both stockings into the sack, all fruits and desserts, and maybe some non-edible nick-knacks. As of that, both stockings were left completely bare, and he hung them back up, as if St. Nick never visited there."
He then sneaked behind the tree, with a greedy grin, staring at the cookies hung on the tree as ornaments. "That woozle saw some of Kanga's cookies hung on the tree, and hence,
While still there,
He swiftly swiped every last cookie ornament!"
With great speed, Stan grabbed every last cookie ornament off the tree and stuffed them in one of the sacks.
A while later, the sacks were thrown up the chimney and each landed on the roof.
"And after Stan cleaned the food out of their refrigerator, as well,
He stuffed all them in bags, like the others, one by one in a manner very swell.
The next thing that happened is the woozle, very nimbly,
stuffing every bag, one by one, up the chimney."
The woozle came up out of the chimney, peeking over the edge, and whistling to Heff and Francisco, who prepared themselves to catch the bags, and then Heff managed to catch one of the bags, while the other sacks were thrown right onto Francisco. Any pots contained in the bags remained not cracked, most likely due to the soft snow the cat was standing on.
Soon, the thieves and Francisco made it to another house of one of the Hundred Acre animals, this one belonged to Rabbit. The Santa-dressed woozle and elf-dressed heffalump hopped out of the sleigh, and grabbed some sacks.
"Rabbit's home was the next house on the two foes' thieving route,
They plan to steal every one of his delicacies, without a doubt"
The two found a ladder and climbed to the roof, then Heff eagerly made it to the chimney and prepared to get in, but due to his massive girth, he got stuck, with his top half sticking out. He grunted, trying to get himself unstuck, while Stan groaned in annoyance, as the woozle walked over to the chimney and got out a plunger he had with him in the sleigh, stuck it on his colleague's head and pushed down hard on him a couple times. He even jumped on the plunger with his feet a couple times, and soon, Heff was unstuck as he began sliding down the chimney, taking Stan with him, and they both landed with a big thud.
The noise was loud that Rabbit, who was in his bed, heard it and was muttering in his sleep, but went back to sleep.
Stan saw no one was coming, as he turned to his colleague and shushed him in annoyance.
"Sorry, Stan, I can't help my water weight. It always goes right to my waist." Heff apologized sheepishly.
The woozle said, "Enough of that now, we gotta get to the kitchen, with no time to waste!"
So the two crept menacingly to Rabbit's kitchen.
"Then the two crept up to Rabbit's refrigerator,"
Stan opened the fridge and he and Heff gazed in delight at all the goodies Rabbit had packed in there, and began cleaning out all food like mad.
"And they commenced their 2ND refrigerator raid.
They stole Rabbit's freshly-grown veggies, and even his lemonade."
As the two continued cleaning out the fridge, they threw all non-food items in the sacks. Stan even got out a turkey, raising his eyebrow symmetrically at the readers.
"They also pilfered his turkey, his figgy pudding, his berries,
And a special ice-cream parfait sundae,
Hold the cherry."
Heff managed to grab a big parfait ice cream sundae from the freezer, resulting in the cherry to fall off and remain there, until he sucked it up with his trunk.
"It wasn't long as they cleaned out Rabbit's entire refrigerator,
Why those two fiends even took his dish of sweet po-taters!"
Yes, Stan and Heff even took out the last item, which was a dish of sweet potatoes, covered in marshmallows, and with that, the whole fridge was empty.
A bit later, after stealing and stuffing food from the stockings into their sacks, the two threw the sacks, along with the sacks containing the food no longer in the fridge, up the chimney, as they landed on the roof.
"Then they stuffed all the food in sacks up the chimney with glee"
"And now" Stan said, turning to his assistant.
"Grinned that woozle."
"Let's make off with all that rabbit's honey!"
The two then made it to the closet where Rabbit kept his honey pots stashed in, and managed to put them all in the sack, one by one.
After stuffing them all in, the two prepared to head to the chimney.
"They were to head to the chimney, and stuff up the bags, when
they heard a tiny voice letting out a small..."
"Ahem," said a small female voice, to the two's alarm.
"Eeek!" The two quietly yelped, as they set down the bag gently and nervously turned to who was in the room responsible for the voice, and that was a certain bluebird. Yes, it was Kessie (who was woken up earlier by the noise probably), looking at the two curiously and saw the honey pots sticking out at the top of the bag. The two villains were caught in the act!
"They saw Rabbit's little adopted bird, Kessie
or Kessie Lou-Hoo, as Tigger called her, staring at the two,
And she asked, with a curious twinkle in her eyes..."
The little bluebird asked the two, "Santa, why are you and your unusually big elf taking all our honey pots? Why?" For some reason, she couldn't tell it was really those two, but that an elf like Heff would be bigger than elves usually are, but probably because she was too young.
The woozle and heffalump looked worried as they bit their nails (well, if Heff had any), knowing they were in a tight spot.
"Well, those two had to think of a lie to get them out,
And had no time to stall."
Then a light-bulb appeared over each of their heads, making them smile as they both got an idea.
"Then they both thought up a lie,
And in hardly any time at all."
Heff then blurted out, "Duh, Brave is the best Pixar movie yet!" This left the bluebird confused at what the dummy said.
The annoyed Stan elbowed the heffalump, while scowling, "No, no, no, you nitwit! I'll handle this!" Yes, the woozle has a much more convincing lie than that statement Heff just said. The woozle straightened himself and cleared his throat, before smiling and trying to act jolly like Santa himself as he said in the best Santa impersonation he could do, "Haw haw haw! Why, it's quite simple, my sweet little birdie,"
The narrator said, "The Santa impostor woozle lied."
"One of the pots has honey leaking through some cracks at one side.
So, my elf and I are taking them back to the workshop for inspection and fixing too,
We'll fix the cracks in the pots up there, and bring them all back, good as new."
Kessie smiled, to the two's relief, as the woozle patted her head. Looks like she actually believes the two are Santa and his elf trying to help fix some cracks in the pots.
"And the white lie fooled the child, and the woozle patted her head,"
Heff was able to get some birdseed and a drink, before the two waved her hand, gesturing her to go back to bed, so she flew back into Rabbit's bedroom whom she was sharing with.
"Then they got her some bird seeds and a drink to go with, and sent her to bed."
A bit later, after making sure Kessie was back into bed and sleep, they closed the door, not waking her or Rabbit up.
"And when the two scoundrels saw she was in bed with her cup and bag of bird seed,"
They smirked evilly as they went back to the chimney and shoved the bag of honey up the chimney, which landed on the roof.
"They crept to the chimney, and stuffed up the bag of that sticky golden feed."
After getting out of the house (via the window so Heff wouldn't get stuck in the chimney again), Stan was strapping the sacks down so they wouldn't break free.
"Heff, then suggested..."
Heff said, "Deugh, hey, Stan, stealing honey and treats are fun and all,
But I know a way to extend our yuletide haul!"
"The woozle queried,"
"What'd that be?" Stan asked in his normal voice.
Heff explained, "Well, maybe we could steal the stuff they have that's all Christmas-y,
Like all their trees, mistletoe, stockings and presents."
Stan pondered a bit before smiling at his friend's idea and exclaimed to him, "Of course! We'll REALLY stick it to 'em that way and make their Christmas unpleasant!
Once again this Christmas, you have had brilliance struck
in your tiny cranium and have given us better luck!"
Stan and Heff chuckled greedily while rubbing their own paws together, before Heff stopped, asking stupidly, "Duh, how am I brilliant again?"
The woozle groaned in annoyance again, so typical of his partner to forget another one of his own plans!
"So after discussing Heff's second plan multiple times,
They have now installed a new step in their Christmas crime!
It's not just the honey and other food they will plunder,
But also every present, tree and Christmas decoration everyone has..."
Stan remarked to finish the narrator's sentence, "And we do not intend to blunder!"
They decided to go back into Rabbit's house to save a trip, and they both carried empty sacks on their backs ready to steal anything Christmas-related from his house, including presents the real Santa left for Rabbit and Kessie.
"So, with not a lot of time killed,
They stuffed the tree and decorations,
With superb skill.
They also packed away the presents St. Nick left, as you can bet,"
During the present-robbing, Heff used his trunk to brush away a tea set resembling Mrs. Potts and the cups from "Beauty & The Beast" into the sack.
"which included Rabbit's newly-received and fine tea set."
The two thieves, with Francisco helping pulling the sled and keeping the sacks down, continued their Christmas thievery spree all around every home, stealing every tree, decoration, present and food from every Hundred Acre Wood animal, as we see a montage of each robbery.
"It wasn't long before those two were robbing every last furry creature
from the Hundred Acre Woods.
They stole every last decorated Christmas feature,
from trees to mistletoe to garlands to wreaths,
as well as trinkets, trappings, ribbons and little artificial holly leaves."
We now see a montage of Stan and Heff stealing food and presents from every last Hundred Acre Wood animal, including but not limited to a ball, jacks, a kite, skateboards, toy race-cars, toy versions of the Seven Dwarves, Mickey Mouse, Nessie, a monster named Sulley, as well as figurines of a mermaid named Ariel, a candlestick, a clock and a genie's lamp.
"You can also wager they robbed everyone else of their gifts and food,
And here are who some of who they robbed, just to name a view."
We see glimpses of the presents being stuffed in the sacks during the foes' visits, while the narrator named them. Some of them we see with the animals asleep, unaware that they were being robbed.
"The squirrels were being deprived of their acorns,
Piglet was deprived of his new earmuffs and hay-corns.
Tigger of his toys with springs
And anything else he had in those packages tied up in strings.
Owl his new books, Gopher his new underground gear
And poor gloomy Eeyore will not see any gift this year."
The two, and reluctant Francisco, had even robbed Eeyore, who was sleeping in his house, which he managed to get back up, totally unaware of the three's presence. However it wouldn't have mattered, because as Stan and Heff got in the sleigh, and the woozle made a whip cracking sound to signal Francisco to pull the sleigh away from the area, the sleigh accidentally hit the house in the process, knocking them all down...again, making Eeyore shiver a bit from the cold. We see them also stealing a present from a sleeping Beaver in his dam, and a sleeping Skunk in his home.
"They swiped a case of toothpicks Beaver got from St. Nick,
And stole a present from Skunk, leaving his home very quick."
Yes, they had to leave to avoid Skunk waking up and spraying them with his odor. Next, we see them back in Kanga and Roo's house, stuffing their decorations and presents in more sacks of theirs.
"They even stole presents that belonged to Kanga and Roo,"
We see the two fiends now robbing a certain bear's house of his decor, presents, and treats, but most of all...his honey, stuffing them in sacks as well.
"Not to mention, gifts and honey from our sweet lovable bear, Winnie the Pooh."
Pooh, meanwhile was sleeping in his bedroom, while muttering in his sleep, "Sweet honey..."
"And before they left Pooh Bear's humble home,
they even sneaked away Buster's special Christmas dog bone."
Yes, Stan managed to steal Buster's dog bone wrapped in a bow from the sleeping puppy.
Notes:
What Heff said about Brave was a reference to Thurgood Stubbs's off-topic lie in the Christmas episode of The PJ'sthat spoofed the Grinchstory. If some of you don't know that show, it's a stop-motion cartoon for adults, starring Eddie Murphy.
Since there are often references to other Disney films in most of Disney's work, as well as Pixar's, I thought of including some in this story, such as toys of the Seven Dwarves, Ariel, Sulley, and Mickey, as well as cameos of the Beast/Adam's servants' objects forms and Genie's lamp.
Now, yes, Kessie was older when she first met Stan and Heff, so this would be messing with the continuity, but then again, Disney's made some continuity errors in the Winnie the Poohfranchise themselves.