N: another one. This was a struggle to write, i'm just not on my game today with writing. I blame the weather. This is what it is, more will happen in the next chapter which might be tomorrow or a few days from now. Depends on my writing mojo...I hope it isn't too terrible, but at least we're moving along with these two. Yes, i know Jane is being stupid...but this isn't exactly a canon story, it's just me writing my own view of their characteristics and what not.

Read on and enjoy! I'm gonna go work on that book thing I'm writing.

Jane

By the time I got to the hospital, Maura had fallen asleep. It was half past one in the morning, so I couldn't fault the woman. I stood at the doorway watching her sleep and taking stock of how different Maura looked. I never noticed it before while she was in her coma, only focusing on getting her to wake up. The nurses had let me in, giving up the fight months ago about me adhering to the visitation hours. They quickly got it with every free coffee I brought them, and sometimes they'd let me sleep in the room with Maura when I needed it.

Now, I saw how thin Maura was. Nothing like the fit and perfectly healthy woman I'd grown to adore. I sighed, scratching at the back of my neck, "I'd get you all of the glazed doughnuts in the world if you'd just look at me and smile. Smile like you always did when you saw me first thing in the morning." I turned to leave the room in search of coffee.

"I love glazed doughnuts." Her soft voice struck my ears like a tiny freight train.

I smirked turning to Maura moving to sit up in her bed. "I know. You told me." I moved slowly, watching her track me warily with her eyes. Even though she called me, I wanted to be careful and not startle her. I knew I was treading on shaky ground, I didn't want to frighten her away. I took the seat next to her bed, "I can get you one, if you'd like." I smiled softly.

Maura didn't answer right away, she just stared at me as if she was mapping out every inch of my face. The stare made me blush, but I didn't turn away. Instead I pulled my messy hair back, so she could get a better look.

Maura tipped her head down, "No thank you. I'm on a very strict diet." She half whispered the words out. "Protein and vitamin rich foods. I've lost a lot of weight and the doctors want me to gain it back slowly."

"I bet it's a diet of green mushy things." I chuckled, scooting closer to the bed. "But if you change your mind, I'll get you a dozen." This was so painfully awkward. Maura and I always managed to talk with ease, even if we were pissed at each other. "So…"

"I'm sorry to call you. I had a nightmare and woke up, panicking." Maura picked at her plastic wrist band. "I didn't know what to do, so I decided to read my chart to calm down." She paused, her brow furrowing. "Why are you my emergency contact? I have family, friends."

I didn't take offense by her question. It was asked with pure curiosity, not anger. I smiled again, leaning forward to straighten out the IV lines weaving into her blankets. I hesitated to answer her, worried if telling her the truth about a friendship that didn't exist might confuse her. But this was Maura, I always told her the truth no matter what. "I would tell you, but I'm not sure why you did. I found out when one of the emergency room doctors cornered me. Asking me about this test, this procedure, this surgery." I glanced at her hand, so desperate to take it in mine. I missed touching Maura.

I tucked my hand under a leg, pressing down on it to stay focused. "I'll get Barry to bring you the paperwork to change it over to your parents."

"No." She blurted the word out but recovered her composure. "I mean, it's fine. I looked over the treatments I've had. You did well, Jane." She stared at me a moment, "Unless you'd like to be removed as my contact. I can understand since I'm not familiar with you." Maura struggled around the words, whispering out a polite apology.

I shook my head, forgoing my own manners and slid my hand out from under my leg. I placed a hand on Maura's frowning at how cold her hands were. "I might be the crazy boogey woman to you, but I made a promise to you a long time ago. I'll always be there for you until the moment you decide you don't want me to." Maura's hand didn't move, it clenched under my palm. I got the hint and moved mine away and went to stand up. My heart was starting to ache, I needed to take a break. "I'm going to grab a coffee, would you like anything?"

"No thank you." Her voice was tiny, edged with nerves.

I smiled, nodding. "I'll be back." I left the room, the smile falling away as soon I was out of sight. I walked down the hall towards the small break room. I wasn't sure how much longer I could do this. Be strong enough to wait for Maura to come to me. I reached into my pocket to make a phone call. "Hey Frost, I know it's late. Can you get into Maura's file and pull her emergency contact information? Yeah, take my name off of it. No, nothing happened. Nothing has changed." I hung up ignoring his protests and took a deep breath. I was lying, everything had changed, and it was time to start accepting it.

XXXX

Maura

I knew I'd made a mistake in the way I spoke to Jane. I was speaking to her like she was a colleague at a silly medical conference. Indifferent and untrusting. I just had no idea how to ask her anything. It wasn't because she was a stranger, it was because of the way she made me feel when she was close. My heart rate sped up, I began to sweat a little, and when she touched my hand, it sent tiny little electrical currents over my skin. It clued me into something that didn't make logical sense. How could I feel the physical cues of love for a stranger? A stranger who everyone said was just my best friend?

When I woke up from the nightmare, I was crying and shaking. I called for the nurse who had no idea how to calm me down without pushing drugs into my IV. It was my gut that demanded I call Jane. Jane would be the only person who could chase away the blank nightmare I had. I didn't bother to process why I had an instinctive reaction to go towards the strange detective, I just picked up the phone and called her.

And she appeared like a magic trick. Looming in my doorway like a shadowy guard, my protector. I immediately relaxed and could breathe easier, but that feeling of calm did very little in jogging my memory and how Jane fit in my life.

I knew the way she left the room, using the excuse she needed coffee, I'd hurt her. I yanked on the blankets, wishing my legs weren't so weak. I wanted to stand, walk and find her. Apologize for my brain forgetting someone who was clearly cared for me more than my own parents. I pushed the blankets down my legs, frowning at how small they looked in the large bed. I went to swing one over the side, wincing when it moved slowly. "Please move." I strained harder, knowing it was ridiculous for me to do. I was barely three days awake from a lengthy coma.

"I've heard you talk to your plants encouraging them to grow, not sure how that will work on healing body parts." Jane's raspy voice filled the room. She carried a Styrofoam cup of coffee in one hand and a napkin covered lump in the other. She set both down on my bedside table and moved to the edge of the bed. "Did you need help standing? If you need to go to the bathroom…you have that um…" She awkwardly pointed to the catheter tube trailing along the side of the bed.

My cheeks flushed a bright red, I grabbed the blanket and covered my legs. I shook my head, feeling a wave of exhaustion hit me. "I'm fine." I laid back, glancing at Jane. "You were gone awhile."

Jane nodded, moving to sit in her chair. "I went outside to get some fresh air and make a couple of phone calls." She twirled the coffee cup in her hands, "I think I'm going to leave in a few minutes if you want to try and fall back asleep."

Jane's behavior was distant, a far cry from the warm woman who swept in my room at my cry for help. Deep down I didn't want her to leave, I wanted her to stay. I wanted to talk to her and figure out why she was always there. "The nurses told me you slept in this room almost every night. Watching over me."

It was Jane's turn to turn red and shrug. "Yeah. It was just part of the job." She cleared her throat. "You should probably try and rest. You have a ton of tests in the morning and Frost will be back to ask you a few questions."

I watched her shoulders sag in defeat. "How long have we been friends?"

"Almost eight years." Jane's tone was clipped.

I nodded, this was going to be difficult for both of us. "Did we meet at the department?"

Jane nodded, her eyes focused on the lid of her cup. "Yup. We started working together when I moved to homicide." She shifted her gaze up, smiling painfully as she caught me studying her. "We worked cases together."

I smiled back, "I remember working with a homicide detective on a few dangerous cases." I closed my eyes, remembering a few moments where I knew my life was in danger. But I couldn't see Jane in any of them, only the other detectives I worked with. I opened my eyes, my gut pressing me. "Have you saved my life before? It's a silly question, but I think my nightmare was about the night I was attacked. I woke up and needed you. Maybe if I can link you to those past memories, it'll allow my brain to relax and open up other memories." I looked at the woman, now looking right at me.

"I have. A few times." Jane looked down, "But you've saved mine every day." She set her coffee cup down on the floor and started rubbing her scars "Can you tell me anything about the nightmare?" She asked softly.

I smiled, "I'll try, Detective." I took in a breath, "In the nightmare I was walking to my car. I had my phone pressed to my ear, I was trying to call someone, and I was already scared. Scared about something that had nothing to do with my work." I paused, "I heard a voice call my name, a man's voice. I turned towards it…and then I woke up. Sweating and scared."

Jane nodded, "I'll have Frost make a photo line up of the few male suspects we have. But don't feel pressure to look at it if you don't feel up to it." She rubbed harder at her hands.

"You do that when you're nervous." I motioned to her hands, "Rub them." I reached over, tugging at her fingers rubbing relentlessly on the top of her left hand. She let me take her fingers, a small sigh passing over her lips as I pulled her hand to my lap. I ran a fingertip over the red skin, "Your ligaments are very tight, you should have a physical therapist massage them."

"I don't let anyone touch my hands." Jane spoke softly, her eyes blurring with tears.

"Oh." I went to let go, but Jane wrapped her fingers in mine.

"Only you. I only let you touch my hands, Maura." She whispered, moving closer to the edge of the bed.

I felt my heart flutter, and I couldn't resist asking. "What did you mean I save your life every day, Jane?"

Jane closed her eyes, swiping at her cheek before the lone tear went any further. "Maura…" Her voice dropped an octave, making it even raspier than normal.

I felt her squeeze my hand, sending another wave of electrical currents through my body. I was starting to piece together why this beautiful mystery of a woman was by my side more than the medical staff and my friends. I was missing chunks of my memories, but I wasn't an idiot. "Jane, are we just best friends? Or is there something more between us…"

Jane yanked her hand free from mine and stood up so quickly she knocked over her coffee. "Shit." She picked it up, "I'll get someone to clean that up." She left the room in a hurry, tears rolling down her cheeks.

I stared at the empty door. I might not know who Jane was, but I was pretty certain I was in love with a woman I didn't know.

XXXX

Jane

Three weeks later

"I found Dr. Isles laying on the concrete floor next to her car. She was bleeding from the back of her head, her nose and I saw her arm was broken. I immediately called for backup and an ambulance. I directed Detective Frost and Sergeant Detective Korsak to cordon off the scene and pull footage. I escorted Dr. Isles to the hospital in the ambulance."

I flipped past Frankie's statement and read over Frost's report again.

"There is no camera footage of the attack, the only suspects we have are a few late-night cleaners who were in the area. Both have been interviewed and proven to be clean and no ties to Dr. Isles. At this time, we are lead less until Dr. Isles wakes up." I skipped over the full medical report of Maura's injuries and what they told us all. Her attack was violent, brutal and it made me throw up and cry whenever I read too far.

I huffed, flipping the file closed and ran my hands over my face. I was sitting at my desk, ignoring the current case on my desk. It was a drug deal gone bad, simple open and close case. I just had to wait for the ME's final report and I could go arrest the asshole I had in holding for murder. I picked through Maura's file, hoping to find Frost's interview notes. But I had been shut out of her case since I was too close and had just about abandoned Maura. My fear of her figuring out my feelings trumping everything else. I had a justified reason, she didn't know me, so she wouldn't miss me. I'd go back to work, work the few leads on her case in secret and keep everyone at an arm's distance.

It had been working so far. I managed to ignore my Ma's calls. I'd bypass Frankie whenever he came to give me a talk about how I needed to be there for Maura. Pretending my phone rang, and I'd run out of the room. Frost and Korsak eventually gave up, knowing how I could get when I was pushed. I was given dirty looks daily, but that was it. They were happily leaving me to my self-imposed misery.

I leaned forward, resting my head in both hands. I missed Maura. I went to see her the next night after I ran out of her room and caught Dr. Beauchamp.

"Dr. Beauchamp, is she going to get better?"

"She will, but unfortunately my diagnosis is correct. Maura has retrograde amnesia. She took a hard hit and it caused her hippocampus to swell. Even as most of the swelling has receded, there's lingering damage. I'd call it a deep bruise. Her memories may return, they may not." Dr. Beauchamp smiled softly, "She's healing faster than any head trauma patient I've ever seen, but I can't predict if she'll heal completely."

I swallowed hard, biting the inside of my cheek. "Is there a reason why I'm missing from her memories?"

The doctor patted my shoulder, "The brain is a mystery. It's a complex machine that literally has a mind of its own. Give her time, Jane. Give it time. If anything, take this opportunity to start again. You and Dr. Isles care for each other very much, it won't be hard to rebuild that friendship bond."

I nodded, "But will she ever know who I am? Who we were together?" I looked at the doctor, silently begging her to give me the truth.

Dr. Beauchamp dropped her hand from my shoulder, "With the type of injury she suffered, there's a very low probability that she will fully recover her memories pre-trauma."

All I heard was a big fat nope, and I left the hospital that night and never went back.

I was a shitty coward, but my heart ached every day at the thought of never having Maura back, my Maura. The Maura I loved. The Maura I failed to protect.

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli, I swear to god." Ma's voice cut through the bullpen like a axe. I groaned and looked up, watching veteran police officers scatter as hurricane Angela rolled in. "You're in so much trouble!"

I spun around to see my ma barreling towards me, her eyes blazing red hot. "Ma, you know you're not supposed to be here."

"Sean let me in. He agrees I need to talk some sense into my only daughter." Ma reached down, grabbing my arm and pulling me to my feet with surprising strength. "Let's go."

I tried pulling my arm free, "Ma! Let go, I have work to do. What's this about anyways?"

She squinted at me, dragging me to the elevators. "Why did I have to find out from Barry that you've completely disappeared on Maura? Here I was thinking you were just sneaking in at night to be by her side. Nope! You just left and never came back, lying to your mother about being too busy to come visit her in the day."

I felt my stomach drop. I'd kill Barry, but my ma was a scary interrogator when she had to be. I couldn't fault the poor guy for balking under Angela Rizzoli. "Ma…"

"Do not Ma me! You're in so much trouble and we're going to fix this now." Ma half tossed me into the elevator.

I sighed, slumping against the back of the elevator. "There's nothing to fix. Maura has no clue who I am. It's probably better if I disappear into the wind as she heals. She doesn't need the stress of me hovering around her. I scare her." I looked up at the elevator ceiling.

"You scare her by not being there, Jane." Ma spun around on me, getting right in my face. "She's been asking for you every day. Wondering when you're coming to visit. We've all had to lie to her, telling her you were overloaded with cases and trying to work hers. I'm tired of lying for you Janie. You might be family, but so is Maura." She poked a finger hard into my chest, making me wince.

"Ma." I rubbed at the spot she poked.

"Shove it, Janie. You're coming with me. Frankie is taking Maura to her house, and you're going to apologize to her. Then you're going to be her friend." She gave me a look that told me I couldn't refuse. "I don't understand what happened. Your never left her side when she was sleeping, the moment she wakes up, you freak. Maura loves you, whether she knows you or not. She's always loved you, love her back even if she's broken."

I slammed my eyes shut, fighting the tears.

"Oh don't cry, Janie. You did this to yourself, no pity is going to save you from my kicking your ass back into shape." Ma grabbed my hand, then paused when she looked at my face. "Janie?"

I shook my head, "I do love her, ma. I love her so much and all of this is my fault." I turned and fell into my ma's arms. The dam breaking as I fell apart. "I love her. I told her the night she was attacked that I was in love with her. It was my fault she wasn't paying attention as she left work that night, I deserve to be forgotten by Maura."

"Oh boy."

XXX

Maura

"Thank you, Frankie." I grinned at the younger Rizzoli, squeezing his hand as he slipped the cane into my other one. "I think I can make it to the couch." I shuffled into my house, happy to be finally home and free from the hospital.

"Sure Maura. I'll go get your bags from the trunk." Frankie ran back out as I slowly moved towards couch. I looked around the house. Everything was clean and in order. I'd have to thank Angela when she came over later.

I felt my smile fade as I saw a picture stuck to the refrigerator door. I walked over to it, using my cane. I hated having a cane, but at least I was walking again. In a few months' time, the cane could be shoved into the back of a closet and forgotten. I reached the picture, slowly taking it down and staring at it.

It was a picture of Jane and I, hugging and laughing. It looked like we were at some barbeque. Jane was wearing a kiss the cook apron, and I had a silly hat made from balloons on my head. I couldn't remember where or when this was, or Jane. But my heart hurt when I looked at Jane. It'd been three weeks since I saw her last. Frankie and Barold told me she'd been caught up in cases and didn't have time. I saw through their lies. I knew Jane was missing because of what I asked her during her last visit. The moment she left, I had my answer. There had been something more to our friendship, but no one could explain what it was. They all just said we were very close, almost family and that's why Jane was taking it so hard. I brushed off my immature assumption of possibly falling in love with Jane. Deciding it was just a natural response to my post traumatic state and trying to grasp on anything that would make sense when it came to Jane. We were simply coworkers and friends.

Deep down I knew it was more, I felt that it was more than friends. Looking at her picture, my heart raced. I traced a finger along the dimple on her cheek, "I wish I could remember us."

"Excuse me, Dr. Isles? The door was open?"

I turned to see a young woman standing at the doorway. She was dressed in scrubs and carried a small medical bag. "Hello, you must be the home care nurse my mother arranged."

She nodded, moving closer. "I am. My name is Samantha, and I'll be taking care of you for the next little while." She set her bag down and went to reach for me.

I shook my head, "I'm fine. I'd like to walk unassisted as much as possible." I set the picture of Jane and I down, and opened the refrigerator.

"I understand Dr. Isles." Samantha stood straight next to the kitchen island, watching me like a hawk. It irriated me.

"I'm healing. Not an invalid. I'm not even sure why my mother hired you." I sighed, shaking my head. "I can take care of myself." As I said that, my leg wobbled, and I started to fall forward. I reached out, trying to grab the counter to prevent from landing on my face.

A strong arm wrapped around my waist from behind and held me up. "Whoa there, Maur." Jane's voice fell across my ear, making me close my eyes, my heart almost bursting through my chest. It'd been far too long since I heard that voice, and I missed it. She stepped back, leading me to the couch and sitting me down. She glared at Samantha, "Who are you?"

"I'm Dr. Isles nurse, Smantha." The girl squeaked, clearly intimidated by Jane.

"Well, you can leave." Angela's voice burst into the room with her. "The Rizzoli's take care of their own. Maura doesn't need a nurse, she has all of us." She glared at Jane, "Right, Janie?"

Jane blushed and nodded, "Yes, Ma."

Angela ushered the poor girl out, ushering Frankie in to drop my bags off. I smiled, shaking my head at the boistourously protective family I inherited. The second Angela walked into my hospital room, I remembered her and her strong hugs. I remembered Frankie and his shyness whenever I smiled at him. They were my family, and I was so thankful my brain didn't push them out. More thankful because they were my only connection to Jane and I needed them. I needed to remember Jane and why I had such strong feelings for her.

"How are you feeling Maura? I see you got your wheels back." Jane stood at the end of the couch, shifting nervously one foot to the other.

I looked up at the woman. Her eyes roamed everywhere but at me. She still looked so beautiful, even if there were dark circles under her eyes and her hair looked like it was in a constant windstorm. "My wheels?" I also saw signs she'd been recently crying.

Jane nodded, waving at my legs. "You're walking. That's a good sign."

"Yes. I got my wheels back a week and a half ago." I knew my tone was bitter, it shouldn't be, Jane was free to do as she chose. But it still hurt that she went missing. "Why did you leave? Why didn't you answer my calls?" I paused, hesitating. "I missed you."

Jane bit her bottom lip, blinking quickly. "Maura, I know I screwed up."

"Yes you did!" Angela reappeared, carrying arms full of grocery bags. "You're first on duty, Jane. Frankie and I both have to work tonight. Sean gave you the rest of the day off, so no arguments. It's up to you to feed Maura and get her settled. I'll take over in the morning, and Frankie will stop by at lunch." Jane opened her mouth to say something and was quickly shut down by her mother. "No excuses. Take care of Maura. Work through your truths, Janie. Forgotten memories don't mean anything to the heart. The heart never forgets."

Angela gave me a warm hug and kiss before she left, glaring at her daughter one more time.

The second the door was closed, I spoke. "You can leave if you'd like, Jane. Will you please help me upstairs, so I can take a nap. I'll order something to eat later." I pushed up to my feet, wobbling as I steadied myself.

Jane rushed to my side, grabbing my elbow. "I can't leave you. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't." She met my eyes, "Ma would murder me." She gently pulled me into her, I sighed at the way her warmth chased away my nervous chills.

I could only nod and let Jane guide me upstairs.

Once in my bedroom, she sat me down on the edge and helped me lay down. I watched her move through my room with a strange sense of familiarity. "Jane, I apologize if I said something that put you off during your last visit." I yawned, my exhaustion from moving so much creeping in. "I didn't mean to scare you off."

Jane smiled, grabbing an extra blanket and shaking it out. "You didn't. If anything, I scared myself off." She mumbled, draping the blanket over my body before sitting down next to my legs. "I'm an idiot sometimes, and I don't do well with emotions. I just have to get used to the fact that our friendship is a little different right now."

I studied her face, her eyes focused on a spot on the floor. I reached for her hand, smiling when she let me take it. "I'd like to be your friend again, if you'd let me." I ran my thumb over the ridge of a scar. "I may not know you, Jane. But would be willing to try again? Start a friendship with me?" I paused, looking up to see Jane staring right in my eyes. "I can't explain it, but I need you. I don't feel right when you're not near. It's like a piece of me is missing." I stopped my thumb, "I know you're not a stranger even if my brain is determined to make you one. Please, give me time, Jane. I know you're important to me."

Jane grinned, blinking to fight back tears. She squeezed my hand, "Of course I'm willing to be your friend again, Maura." She stood up, "I'm going to make some tea for us, try and get comfortable. I know Ma left me a full set of instructions with your medications." Jane slowly let go of my hand and walked out of the room with her head down. I also caught her rubbing at her hands. She was nervous, and I had to find out why. I closed my eyes for a second, willing my mind for the millionth time to tell me how Jane fit into my life and if we were ever more than just friends like I was beginning to secretly wish for.

Before I could get my answer, I fell asleep.

XXXX

Jane

Her screams woke me up from the afternoon nap I slipped into while watching TV. I climbed over the back of the couch and took the stairs two at time. I almost broke her bedroom door down, only to find Maura sitting up in her bed. Her arms covered her head as she screamed over and over "No No No please!"

I scooped her into my arms, pulling her tight against my body. "Maura, you're okay. You're okay, you're safe." I kissed the top of her head, gently pulling her arms from around her head. "No one's going to hurt you, I'm here."

"Jane?" Maura cried my name, she was slow to relax.

I leaned back taking her face in my hands, "Yeah, it's me." I swiped her hair from her face, trying to smile and ease her fears. "It's just a dream."

She began shivering in my arms, "I saw him. I saw his face. He was coming for me." Her voice trembled. She looked around the room with frightened wide eyes. "He's going to come for me."

I swallowed hard, I had to fight my detective nature to question her. I could do that later, it was more important Maura was okay. I pulled Maura against my chest, closing my eyes as her arms wrapped around my waist and clutched tightly.

"Will you stay? Keep me safe?" Maura's voice was so tiny, it made me want to cry. "I need you, Jane."

I nodded, moving to lay us both down in the bed. Maura wouldn't loosen her grip on me, she only held me tighter as I ran my hand up and down her back. "Go back to sleep, Maura. I'll be right here."

Maura nodded against my neck, sniffling. It took a few minutes for her breathing to settle before she fell back to sleep. I kissed her forehead, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I'm never going to let anyone hurt you again, Maura. Including me. I love you so much to let that happen." I shifted Maura a little to make her more comfortable before turning to stare out her bedroom window. "It's time to take ma's advice. I don't think our hearts could forget each other, even if your mind wanted it to."