N: Short one. I also didn't want to drag this out into a super slow burn. So things move on. I hope you enjoy!

Jane

I woke up to an empty bed. Maura was missing. I went from half asleep to wide awake in a half second. "Maura?" I sprang out of the bed, fumbling for the light. Night had long fallen, and her bedroom was swallowed in darkness. Shit. Shit. Shit. I'd screwed up again.

I searched the bathroom, slapping lights on as I went. "Maura?" I felt the slow creep of panic moving along my spine. Where could she have gone? Did her attacker follow her home? I ran out of her bedroom, running down the stairs to grab my gun when I found her. Sitting on the couch, wrapped in one of the Red Sox blankets I brought over from my apartment last winter. My heart slowed back down to normal as I walked over to her. "Maura are you okay?"

She nodded, pulling the blanket closer around her shoulders. "I had another small nightmare and woke up. I didn't want to bother you, so I came down here." She looked up at me, her eyes red, puffy and desperate for sleep.

I sat on the arm of the couch, glancing at the clock. "That little nap turned into a good six-hour sleep. It's barely past eight, would you like something to eat? Ma left some food in the fridge, or I can order whatever you'd like." I turned back, spotting Maura's laptop open. She had pulled up every single picture ever taken of her and I over the last few years. Everything from casual moments at the department, to my favorites of just her and I. They were selfies I'd taken as my feelings grew for her and my fear of losing her increased. My stupid mind figured if I took a thousand pictures of us, I'd have that to fall back on when I eventually spilled my heart and ruined our friendship. "Um. I can order from that weird veggie place you love. They have your usual order on file, since your still on a strict diet." I cleared my throat, growing nervous.

"I think I'd like the grilled chicken and eggplant Angela left us." Maura spoke softly, her brow furrowing. She clicked on the laptop, pulling up the departments facial recognition program. There was a picture of a man, dark hair, bright blue eyes and stubble. "I couldn't shake him from my thoughts. It's not perfect, but his hair, eyes, and face shape came through in my second nightmare. I've emailed this to Barry." She paused, closing her eyes and sinking further into the couch. "I want to apologize for scaring you, Jane."

I slid off the arm to sit next to Maura, my stomach twisting in knots. I knew Barry would already be working on running the rendering through every database. "Maura never ever apologize for anything. You never owe me an apology." I leaned against her and felt that she was shivering. I couldn't help it, and threw an arm around her, pulling her into my side as I reached over and swiped away the face of Maura's possible attacker. I pulled up a picture of the very first softball game Maura and her team played. "You remember this?"

She nodded, "I do. I remember the lab team beat the homicide team." She frowned as I swiped through pictures of everyone from that day.

"It was a great day. You laughed like a little kid every time someone hit a home run, whether it was your team or mine." I grinned, having my own memories that day. "That was also the day I got you to eat a hot dog from a street vendor."

Maura frowned deeper and tried to move away from me. "Why can't I remember you. I remember that day, but you're missing." Her eyes welled up as she pushed out of my arms. "Who are you, Jane? Who are you to me? Who am I to you?" She glanced at me, "Please don't tell me that we're best friends, family. You didn't hesitate to wrap me in your arms last night and hold me until I fell asleep. The nurses and doctors told me you never left my side and would argue with them when things grew very bleak. You are the only person in the world who knows I love glazed doughnuts. A secret I even hid from my mother. You protect me with everything you have, and I sit here, going through years of pictures and I can't connect the dots. I can't connect how Jane Rizzoli exists in my life when I've never met you." Her voice rose as the tears grew heavier. "I said your name in the nightmare. I was on the phone, calling you. I was scared calling you, but not because I was about to be attacked."

I clenched my fists, fighting from pulling her close again. "Maura." Her subconscious was coming out of the darkness. And it was happening faster than I was prepared for.

She shook her head, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. "No, please. I just need answers. Everyone has giving me clinical explanations, or vague friendly ones. I know my mind is in a fragile state, but I'm not a victim. I will not be a victim. I know in my heart my attacker took something important away from me when it comes to you, and I'm almost desperate to have it back." She looked at me, her hazel eyes pleading with me in a way that shattered my will. "You might be a stranger, but I think my heart never forgot you. I just have to put the pieces together."

I turned away from her, staring at my scars as my fingers moved on their own to dig at them. "You are my best friend, that's the truth." I blew out a breath, debating whether I pulled the band aid off or leave it to linger and rot.

Maura grabbed my hand, wrapping my fingers into hers. "I asked about your scars. Everyone told me to ask you." She spoke quietly, "I've been nervous to ask, fearing you got them because of me. I'm nervous because the thought of hurting you makes me want to vomit." She trailed off, releasing my hand at the same time.

I sighed, laying my hands flat on my thighs. "You didn't do this. A monster did this. His name was Hoyt and I played his game for a couple of years until he threatened someone I loved." I flexed my fingers, "The second he thought it was a good idea to use you as bait, I made sure he could never hurt anyone ever again." I looked at Maura, pointing my chin at the barely visible scar on her neck. "After that day, I promised you I'd never let anyone hurt you ever again." I paused again, my heart falling into my stomach to roll around like a log. "Including me."

"Hoyt. I know that name." Maura furrowed her brow, her big brain searching all of it's databases. "He was a serial killer." She stopped her words as she closed her eyes. "He attacked me in a prison hospital." She ran her fingers along the thin line no one but her and I would ever see. "Why did my brain lose you, Jane?" She whispered the words out, tears heavy in her voice.

"Because I think I fucked up the night you were attacked." I leaned forward, covering my face with both hands.

"Language." Maura's comment made me chuckle. "How did you make a mistake? From where I sit, the only mistake you've made is standing by me." She buried her face into the soft material of the blanket.

I turned to face her, studying her. Maura was starting to fill out from ma's cooking, but she was still frail looking, beautiful but frail, and it made me want to protect her even more. But I knew I had two choices in front of me. Keep playing the vague game and hope her memories click, or just be honest and tell her everything. I was already a stranger in her mind, so if I told her the truth and she crapped all over it, I could walk away. Fade away into the shadows of being that weird coworker who had a crush on her. Maybe I could get a transfer to another precinct, or shit, I could call the FBI and take them up on the Quantico job offer.

"Jane? You're staring." Maura shifted under the blanket uncomfortably.

"I know." I pushed my hair back and sunk into the cushions. "First, you're never a mistake." I sucked in a large breath, eyeing the bottles of beer in her fridge. I put them there three weeks ago when I came over to help Ma clean Maura's house. "Second. I screwed up that day of your incident. We had a mini argument, and I said somethings that threw you off." I ran my hands through my hair, fingers catching on tangles. "To answer your previous questions, there is something more than friends between us. At least on my side."

I stopped, looking at Maura to gauge whether I should continue or not. She just held her eyes on mine, smiling politely. It was her listening intently face. I huffed, dropping my hands from my hair, and clasped them together. "I will always protect you. I will always be there at your side, in good times and bad. I will never forget your favorite foods from glazed doughnuts to all organic vegetarian kale salads. I will always put my life before yours, a lesson that took me far too long to learn. You're my best friend in the world, and somewhere over the years… I fell in love with you." I swallowed hard, squeezing my hands together to the point it hurt. "Our argument that day was over you trying to set me up with some FBI agent. I was tired, irritated and completely over hiding my feelings for you. So like the idiot I am, I blurted them out, almost yelling my feelings in your face. I ran, like the idiot I am and ignored your phone calls. You kept calling, and I knew it was because you didn't feel the same for me."

I stood up suddenly, feeling the air between us grow thick. "I screwed up. I distracted you and in turn I failed to protect you. I just keep hurting you." I looked around, spotting my boots right by the door. Ready for my quick escape. "I'll call Ma. She's right around the corner. She can sit with you." I shifted, moving slowly to my boots. I blinked back tears, this hurt like hell the first time, and was a hundred times worse the second time.

XXX

Maura

I watched Jane back up like a cornered dog. She was three steps from walking away, and every fiber in my being told me not to let her go. She just confessed something massive for her, and even as I didn't understand it, I did. "Jane." I slowly stood up, using the couch as a crutch. "Please, wait."

Jane shook her head, "It's fine. I'm fine." She sniffled but covered it up by coughing. "Um, I'll go wait outside." She bent over to yank her boots on.

I moved as fast as I could, hobbling on weak legs. I only made it to the bar stool at the kitchen island. I watched the brunette for a moment, angrily swiping away swaths of curl black hair. The same black hair that covered most of my front when I woke up to Jane sleeping on my chest. Her ear pressed right over my heart. It was then I knew that the old me, the one who knew Jane, had been equally in love with the woman as I was now. It was as Angela said, the heart never forgets. It was scientifically impossible and highly illogical to fall in love at first sight and with a stranger, but hearing Jane speak her truths, I knew it was possible. "I'm not sure if the old me knew she was in love with you. Maybe that's why my nightmare includes me calling you in a panic." I pointed at the cane resting next to Jane's arm. "Can you please hand me my cane?" My voice had ceased Jane from pulling her boots on.

Jane was fidgeting with her hands, her head tilted down as she did as I asked. "Okay."

She slipped it into my hand, her other hand grazing my hip to steady me. I smiled at her touch, "Thank you." I steadied myself and took a step closer to her, grabbing the hand that was moving away from hip. "Last night, you slept with your ear pressed against my heart. You murmured my name and instead of feeling frightened, I felt complete. I felt safe in your arms. I also couldn't remember ever feeling anything like that in my entire life. None of this should make sense with our current relationship, or lack of." I bit my bottom lip, pulling Jane's hand up to rest against my racing heart. "But I'm drawn to everything Jane Rizzoli, even if it's as foreign to me as street meat."

Jane chuckled, a small smirk forming. I unfurled her fingers, so I could feel her entire palm against my skin. Her warmth soaking into the thin shirt I'd changed into after waking up the second time. "I'm falling in love with you, Jane. Please tell me that your feelings haven't changed for me, because if I never remember the old you, I want to start with you now. I want to understand why I feel like this, and embrace it. I want to love you, so much." I swallowed the hard lump in my throat.

Jane lifted her other hand, brushing the back of her fingers across my cheek, making me sigh. "What if you wake up, remember everything? And you don't feel like this." She rolled her eyes, "I'm sure you'll vomit out some sort of scientific reasoning of how brain trauma amplifies emotions. You'll google talk me to death and then what?" She then pressed her open palm against my skin, making me close my eyes and revel in her touch. Even with the gentle ridge of her scar reminding me of how dangerous Jane's life was. I'd willingly take on any danger as long as it kept her near me.

I smiled, "Then I'll hit myself in the head to go back to this moment. I don't want to forget the way I feel about you right now." I stepped forward, sliding my arms around her waist. Jane immediately responded, wrapping hers around me as she kissed the top of my head.

"Please don't hurt this beautiful head of yours, I've grown very fond of it." Jane murmured against my hair. She pressed another kiss, "I love you, Maura Isles. Don't feel obligated to reciprocate the sentiment, I've just waited a really long time to say that."

I squeezed her tighter, "I'm sure I'll say it sooner than later." I pressed my ear against her heart, smiling as it beat just as hard as mine. "I never got to say thank you for the glazed doughnut. It was the best thing I ate in the hospital."

Jane laughed again, leaning out of my arms. "You're welcome." She ran her eyes over my face, stopping for a moment longer on my lips. She licked her own, clearing her throat, a rush of desire for her to kiss me, surged through my entire body. "How about we eat? I'll tell Frankie to stop by with some doughnuts for dessert." She turned to the sound of her phone ringing. "I should get that, it's Frost." Jane moved out of my arms and grabbed her phone. Her face fell quickly as she turned her back on me and spoke in a quite tone.

I moved to sit down on the bar stool, watching her shoulders hunch over. I knew it had to do something with my incident. A few minutes later, Jane hung up and met my eyes. Gone was the overwhelming love, replaced by the intense detective. "Frankie is on his way over to sit with you. Frost got a hit on your sketch. We're taking a trip downtown to talk to a few people." She spoke in clipped tones, the detective permeating every inch.

I sighed, pulling the blanket closed as a quick shiver ran over my body. "Jane, please be careful."

She smiled weakly, nodding as she jammed her feet into her boots. "I will." She rushed over, bending to kiss me on the forehead, "I'm making you a new promise tonight. I'll always think twice before I rush into the fire." She squeezed my shoulder and rushed out the door. I heard Frankie holler at her before walking into the house. Smiling shyly as he said hello.

I absently pressed my hand over my heart, a familiar ache forming. I frowned as Frankie moved in the kitchen, pulling out leftovers. The familiar ache was not new, it was an old memory. A feeling I knew I had to have felt whenever Jane walked out of my door like she did now.