N: this is a short one and all in Jane's POV. I wrote some after this, but it didn't feel right to keep on. I dunno if it works. The next update might be late, I have a crazy work schedule and need to work on Devils2 a bit with the one day off i have this week. Forgive me! But read on and enjoy!

Jane

I could literally feel Maura staring at me. I shifted in the bed, turning to face her. I cracked one eye open, "Staring is considered very rude in polite society. And you, Dr. Isles, are the true definition of polite society." My voice was gravelly. I could use another sixteen hours of sleep, but my senses were hyper aware in the days since Maura woke up. Always afraid she'd slip away if I wasn't paying attention.

A set of bashful hazel eyes tipped away from my face. "It is very rude." She went to move away from me, pulling the comforter to her chin.

I gently took her hand clutched around the comforter and held it. I ran my fingers along hers, hating that they were still so thin and frail. "You need more glazed doughnuts." I smiled at the way Maura squeezed my fingers. "Why are you awake? It's three in the morning, and with the number of drugs you're on, you should be sleeping like a lazy teenager."

Maura gave me a look. "That's a unique euphemism. The medications I'm on do nothing but keep me awake. I believe my body is beginning to resist them in hopes I'll stop taking so many chemicals. And my sleep is still riddled with nightmares." She paused, thinking. "Did you know as a teenager, I never slept past seven am? I also always went to bed at eleven."

I cocked an eyebrow, "Even in college?"

Maura nodded sheepishly. "Even in college on weeknights. I can count the number of times I was out past midnight in college. Four. Two of those times was because I was studying all night." She shifted her pillow, propping her head up. "What about you?"

I chuckled. "There wasn't a day I didn't go to bed before two am in high school and college. Shit, I don't really remember the last time I curled up in bed at a decent time." I sighed, "The life of a detective." I looked up from our hands. "So why are you staring at me?"

Maura slowly snaked her hand free of mine. "Can you tell me more about you? Something you never told the old me?"

I laughed, running my hands through tangled hair. Why was my hair always a bramble bush? "I don't think there was much you didn't know about me. I've bared most of my soul to you over the years, the good parts and the very awkward parts." I sighed, rolling on to my back to look up at the ceiling. I frowned spotting a few water stains. My apartment was such a craphole compared to Maura's pristine townhouse.

"Please Jane." Her voice was so small it broke my heart. I also suddenly felt like a putz. Maura was trying so very hard to fill her in the holes her brain left her with. And here I was, being a stubborn putz. I loved this woman, she clearly loved me.

I nodded, still staring at the water stains. "In the time after Hoyt, I went back to work too fast. I hid that I was still in pain and suffering nightmares that bled into the day. I would plaster on my tough girl mask and carry on, telling everyone I was totally fine. No one ever knew, and still doesn't know, that I would hide in the janitors closet down in the basement and cry my eyes out on my lunch break. I would have to talk myself down and sit on my hands to stop them from shaking." I chewed on the inside of my cheek, biting down to fight the rolling in my stomach. "I couldn't tell anyone what was going on. If I did, I'd be sent back to the shrinks and have my brain poked out. They'd take my badge away and I'd lose the one thing I was living for."

I started rubbing the scar on top of my left hand, the one that always hurt the most. "I felt alone. I couldn't talk to my parents, they were already losing their minds I'd gone back to work in homicide. Frankie was trying so hard to be the protective brother, but I needed him to focus on keeping himself safe on the streets. I was at odds with Korsak and Frost was intimidated by me. The rest of the department either saw me as a hero or a nutcase waiting to crack."

Maura's slender hand fell onto of mine. She began gently massaging the area around the scar, massaging away the tension I always felt. "I almost called it quits. I almost packed up my apartment and book a one-way ticket to the edge of the world." I turned to Maura, her eyes watery. "Then I ran into you in the café. I literally ran into, knocking your tea of your hand. We weren't friends then, just coworkers. I had been avoiding the morgue since I came back, I didn't have the stomach yet to look at scalpels or any type of medical tools." I sighed, flipping my hand over to link our fingers together. I then pulled her hand to rest over my heart. "Being the nerdy doctor you are, you reached for my hand. Your medical eye was drawn to the angry red scar tissue. You didn't even flinch when I tried to pull my hand away, instead you stood firm, massaging it and unleashing your google mind on me. Rolling off facts about massage therapy, oils to accelerate the healing of scar tissue."

"Jane, I'm sorry if I invaded your personal space. I lack many social skills, and when I get excited about science, my manners come second." Maura whispered. I was pretty sure she was blushing by the tone of her voice.

I brought her hand up, kissing the tops of her knuckles. "I know, trust me, I know how your science brain can push everyone out of the room when it's excited." I rolled to my side, "It was your touch that calmed all the noise in my head. I wouldn't let anyone touch my hands, let alone see them. But there you were, the queen of the dead in designer heels, massaging my hand with such gentleness. It threw me off, but when you looked in my eyes, I was done for. I only saw someone trying to be kind to me. You didn't see Jane Rizzoli hero cop, you saw me. You saw Jane Rizzoli petrified woman who had to remind herself to breathe." I smirked in the darkness, "I'm pretty sure I fell in love with you but ignored it. Then you started arranging your schedule to meet me on accident in the café. You started bringing reports and test results up to me. You never asked how I was out loud, you just did it with silent looks. You always gave me a open door and a judgement free place to talk. We quickly became friends, and I swallowed down my feelings for you. I soon realized a life without Maura Isles was pointless, and I'd do anything to keep you in my life." I let out a slow breath, "That's what I mean when I told you that you save my life every day. You do, Maura. You save my life in the biggest ways, down to just smiling at me when I'm cranky. My life would be pretty shitty without you in it."

"Language." Maura half whispered the word out, her voice trembling with unshed tears. "Jane, I…"

"You asked for something I never told the old you. This a big something. I've never told anyone what I just did. I never thought I'd tell anyone." I sighed, "You probably wanted more of a deep secret like I don't actually like the Boston Bruins. I'm more of a Red Wings fan, but I'd be disowned if I ever told my family. Or maybe I've grown to semi like kale and will eat kale salads once a week. You're doctor tone in my head telling my heart would appreciate the effort." I scrunched my face up, "Then there's the fact I love that gross reality show about the restaurant and all the trashy employees. My DVR is packed with episodes, but I've relabeled them as news recordings, so no one pokes around."

Maura laughed softly, but her smile faded quickly. She began searching my eyes as if she was looking for another deeply buried secret of mine. "What? Is it too much? I mean I have lamer secrets."

Maura shook her head as her hand slid across my cheek and she inched closer. We were a breath apart. My heart lurched into my throat and I opened my mouth to make some sarcastic comment. My go to when it came to heavy moments. Maura shook her head and leaned closer, kissing the corner of my mouth. I could hear her own heart pounding even as she was being cautious. "Maura." Her name came out in a deep raspy whisper.

"Don't." Maura moved, kissing me fully and I couldn't help but respond to the kiss. I met her, kissing her back and closing my eyes as my heart threatened to explode in the best way imaginable. Maura's hand slid to the side of my neck, gently pulling me deeper into the kiss. I let her guide me. I could barely think, letting my instincts take charge. Maura pushed me to my back, continuing to kiss me, her tongue running across my bottom lip. I moaned, opening my mouth wider for her.

I'd wanted to kiss Maura a million times over in the last few months. I'd zone out as she ranted, staring at her lips and wondering if they were as soft as they looked. They were. I could confirm it now. Maura Isles had incredibly soft lips. I ran my hands up her side, stopping right at her shoulder blades. I wanted to pull her against my chest and kiss her until for the rest of time.

Maura broke the kiss, gasping for air. She turned her head to the side and pushed off of me. Her cheeks were flushed and she frowned. "I'm sorry, Jane. I don't know what I was thinking." She went to roll away when I grabbed her upper arms, stopping her.

"Don't be sorry. Oh dear god, don't be sorry for that." I moved my hands to the side of her face, forcing her to look at me. "It's cheesy, but I've been dreaming about kissing you for months." I ran a thumb under her bottom lip. "I know everything is scary and somewhat new. But I never want you to second guess yourself, I'll never judge." I leaned up, kissing the tip of her nose. "Your boldness is one of the million things I adore about you." My hormones were jumping off the chart. Maura had ignited a long dead fire inside of me, and it would be hard to control it right now. She was beautiful, the best kisser I've ever kissed, and god she really smelled incredible. I looked down, my shirt was a little too big and I was getting an incredible view of Maura's… assets. I swallowed hard and looked up into her eyes.

Maura smiled, closing her eyes. "Why are you so good to me, Jane? We're almost…"

"Almost strangers. Yeah, I've heard it before. But I'm not going to accept that as an excuse anymore." I cut Maura off. I scooted up against the headboard, shifting Maura into my embrace. "Let's start tonight. Tonight is the first page of the new Jane and Maura story. Agreed?"

Maura sighed, snuggling against my chest. "Agreed." She slipped an arm around my waist. "I do want to ask the old me why I waited so long to kiss you." She looked up, "I'm sorry if I was too bold. I just couldn't resist it. You were so vulnerable, open, and I can see you've never been like that with anyone."

I chuckled, "You. You were the only one. Then and now." I kissed the top of her head and looked at the clock. It was almost four in the morning. I sighed heavily. "I'm calling in sick." I reached over to my bedside table, grabbing my phone. I made a quick call to the midnight sergeant, claiming I had a stomach bug and that I'd be out for the day. After hanging up, I tossed the phone in the drawer and pulled the blankets over Maura and I. Maura already had her eyes closed. I smirked, "Falling asleep on me already?"

Maura cracked her eyes open, "I didn't think kissing you would exhaust me."

I shook my head, laughing. "I'll take that as a compliment." I bent down, kissing her softly before fluffing a pillow. "Sleep. In the morning I'll make breakfast and you can tell me a few of your own unknown secrets. I've always imagined you had a goth phase."

Maura grinned, settling into her own pillow. "Maybe." She yawned, "You'll just have to wait, Jane."

"I'd wait forever for you." I whispered it as Maura fell into a deep sleep.