N: Enjoy this one! I've been busy and writing in the summer is difficult when it gets hot. But i managed to get this out, it's short but it's there.

Detective Rizzoli is brash with her humor, but she feels bad if I take a joke wrong. She treats me like a person, not the medical examiner. The queen of the dead like the others do.

I heard she's moving to the homicide unit. I hope so, it would be nice to have a friendly detective to work with.

I thumbed to another page of my journal, finding an entry near the end.

Being angry at Jane hurts more than the anger I feel towards her actions. I've been examining all of the reasons why I feel betrayed by her, and the moment I feel solidified in my feelings, Jane comes around the corner carrying my favorite coffee. Smiling sheepishly with a silent apology that I brush off along with her presence. Paddy Doyle might be my father, but Jane is my family. I wish I understood emotions better than I do. Maybe I'd be able to talk to Jane without us yelling at each other.

All I know is my entire body hurts when Jane isn't near. I miss my best friend. I need to learn how to forgive her before it moves beyond the point of saving.

I frowned at the memory of Paddy Doyle. It was only fragments of that day he was shot, Jane nowhere to be found in any of them. I sighed, setting the leather-bound journal down on the table next to me. I glanced out the window, the London rain was in force making me shiver. It was evident Jane and I had a very complex relationship. Most of my journal entries ranged from happy moments with Jane to confusing ones resulting from her pushing me away. I had two more journals to read, but I wasn't sure if it was worth it.

"Maura? Would you like some tea?"

I smiled at my mother, "I'm fine, thank you." I stood up from the chair, walking slowly away from the window, "But I would like something to eat. It's been a long couple of days."

My mother took my elbow, steadying me before she slid her arm into mine. "Have you found anything in your journals?"

I shook my head, sighing heavily. "Only that Jane and I are complicated. I still can't place her in my memories." I leaned deeper into my mother's side. "Maybe it is for the best I left."

"Maura, pity looks horrible on you." She grinned, sitting me down at the small kitchen island. "Stop looking for excuses for a faulty mind."

I huffed, leaning forward on the island. "Mother."

She held up a finger, "Don't mother me." She moved to the refrigerator, pulling out a few things to make pasta. "You told me last night the only memory you have of Jane is the day she shot herself, correct?"

"Yes. But it's very blurry and I'm not sure if I was there, or if Jane is placating me to push my brain into placing her there." I began picking at the edge of my sweater. "I tried getting into the case file, but my passwords have been reset and I don't remember how to fix that." I blushed at how silly I felt. I had literally forgotten all of my passwords. Work ones to my shopping accounts, and I was too frustrated with my current events that I didn't have the patience to reset all of them.

"I wasn't there that day. I arrived a day later by the behest of Angela." My mother smiled, unwrapping a large container full of gnocchi. "I've always know your job was different, possibly dangerous. But you had a certain strength and impenetrable air about you. I stopped worrying after I met Jane and saw how incredibly protective she was of you. I knew then Jane had strong feelings for you, and yet at the same time I wasn't sure if you saw it or realized your own feelings."

I shook my head, "Why does everyone say that about us? Claiming they could see from a mile away we were soul mates too stubborn to see it." I closed my eyes, rubbing at the side of my temple that still ached.

My mother ignored me, "I walked into the hospital, fearing the worse and as I came around the corner to Jane's room. I saw you sitting next to her bed, wearing a blood-spattered dress, and reading off that days Red Sox scores." She lifted her head, pausing as she filled a bowl. "I'm your mother and I've only seen you cry perhaps three times in your entire life. The day we buried your first pet, the day you were accepted into Harvard medical, and when your grandmother passed away." She picked up the bowl and moved to sit next to me, "You cried harder than any of those other moments as you sat next to Jane. Begging to whomever would listen to give her back to you. To give you a few more minutes with her. That was when I knew your heart had been lost to Jane Rizzoli."

I kept my eyes closed, my mothers voice reaching my mind and sparking it to life.

An image of Jane laying in the hospital blurred, then sharpened. I was whispering to her, telling her that she was my best friend and that I loved her. I lifted her hand to my lips, pressing against the cold skin and promising that if ever the day could come, I would never leave her. The memory became stronger, chasing away some of the fog that laid heavy over my mind for the last few days. I squeezed my eyes closed, focusing on Jane in the memory. Her eyes flickered open and looked right at me, she smiled and tightened her cold hand in mine. She mumbled, "I saved you, Maur." Jane then promptly passed out.

I opened my eyes staring right at my mother as I pressed a hand over my heart. The faint ache returning whenever I thought about the day Jane shot herself. "I think my brain is trying to tell me that Jane will literally do anything to keep me safe and that's what I need to focus on. That's why this particular memory keeps popping up with the strong feelings it brings with it. I have to trust her completely like I did that day."

"Yes. Trust Jane, she's never let you down." My mother grinned, pushing the bowl of pasta in front of me. "Eat and then we'll talk more. I believe the more we talk about Jane the more your memories will return."

I smiled, "I hope so. I miss her very much is so many ways."

My mother cocked an eyebrow, "Even though this has been a horrible series of events for you, you should feel lucky. You get to fall in love all over again and this time, you don't have to hide behind the walls carved in the name of saving a friendship." She patted my arm and stood to grab her bowl of food. "This is Angela's recipe, I hope I've done it justice."

I took a small bite, sighing at the taste. It was delicious but made me miss Jane and the Rizzoli's more. I silently crossed my fingers that Jane was slapping handcuffs on the maniac and she'd be flying to London to collect me.

XXXX

Jane

I flopped down on the edge of Maura's bed, rubbing my wild mane of wet hair with one of her expensive towels. It had taken all day and all night, but we managed to get her house almost back to normal. The walls had been repainted, broken things were thrown out and replaced as best as possible, and the entire house had been deep cleaned. Ma and Tommy would be going out later in the afternoon to buy replacement picture frames and a giant new TV for her living room. I had the half-brained idea to go and repurchase all of her fancy outfits, but as I read labels on torn rags, I couldn't pronounce some of the designers. So, I decided it was best to neatly arranged the clothing that remained and plan a massive shopping trip when this case was closed.

I dropped the towel, reaching for the t-shirt and shorts I'd found in the one drawer Maura long ago made mine. I pulled the clothes on and went downstairs to read over the files Frost left for me. I wanted to read up on Holton and figure out his patterns. All idiot criminals had one, and so would this jackass. He'd left enough trace evidence to convict him on fifteen different charges.

It was late morning and Cavanaugh had given me the day off to rest, knowing I wouldn't. I walked to the island and grabbed the last of the pastries ma had brought over and shoved one into my mouth. I sat down, flipping through the files. I focused on the file relating to the case Maura testified against Holton, trying to understand his hatred. Her testimony was full of science mumbo jumbo, proving the case against Holton. Maura had been very professional, exact, and detailed. Nothing out of the ordinary struck me as to why Holton wanted her dead aside from the lengthy prison sentence Maura helped serve up.

Leaning back, I ran my hands over my face. I was exhausted, frustrated and I missed Maura. Sitting in her house did very little to calm the empty feeling in my heart. Everywhere I looked the past was there reminding me of the good times. The couch where we would sit and watch movies. The kitchen where we shared most of our meals. This was my home it had become my home a long time ago, and I failed to protect it. Now I was doing everything to protect the woman who welcomed me into this home, and her heart.

I sniffled, I was too tired for this right now. I slapped the files shut and shoved them away and walked upstairs. I would sleep, then restart the hunt when I woke up.

Climbing the stairs, I headed straight to Maura's room without thinking. I crawled into the bed on my side and laid back. Turning to look at the neat pile of Maura's books and her glasses resting at the top. I let my thoughts drift to the nightly ritual that had started up months ago. Maura would invite me to dinner, whether it was at one of her fancy choices or the dirty robber. Then I would follow her home to make sure she got home safe. She'd offer me a beer or leftover dessert ma made and packed into the fridge. We'd sit, talk, eat and then Maura would proclaim it was time for us to go to bed. Citing a litany of scientific facts of how sleep deprivation had dramatic effects on my mood. Basically calling me a crab ass if I didn't sleep enough.

I'd grumble, poking fun at her nerdiness, but follow her. We used to go our separate ways, me to the guest bedroom, Maura to hers. But that changed when my nightmares became overwhelming after a case that reminded me far too much of Hoyt. Maura spewed off more science as she held me, calming down. After that, I just started crawling into bed with her. She would read whatever journal or epic novel of the week, I'd look over sport scores on my phone. I'd always pass out first, always waking up first in the morning to find myself wrapped around Maura. The first thing I'd always see was her perfectly tousled hair and that stack of books with her glasses.

I smiled as I shifted on my side, running my hand over the empty space next to me. The last time I spent the night was three days before our argument. I'd woken up like usual, but this time Maura was facing me. Her hand delicately resting against my heart, a soft smile on her face. It was then and there that I decided I never wanted to wake up without her. I decided I would tell her about my feelings and pray I could hold her without making up some excuse about being a sleep creep.

I sighed, "I'm so stupid, Maura. A big old chicken shit. I should've told you right away how I feel." I rolled away, grabbing my phone. I dialed her new cell phone number knowing it would be super late in London and I could leave a quick message. The phone rang as I pushed myself to rest against the headboard, running my hands through wild hair. I was mentally preparing the awkward speech I was about to leave.

"Jane?"

The sound of Maura's voice had my heart jumping into my throat. "Maura? It's really late. Why did you answer?" I cringed at how harsh my tone was, but I was caught off guard and mildly panicking.

"It's approximately three in the morning here. My jet lag isn't letting up." Maura's voice echoed how tired she was. Mentally and physically.

"Jet lag does have a mind of its own." I cleared my throat. "Um, how are you?"

"Tired."

"I'll let you go." I groaned internally. I was still a chicken shit. "You need your rest."

"Jane, I'm not mad. I understand why you sent me away." Maura paused, "I trust you and I miss you, Jane. Please catch this man so I can come home."

I frowned, I would have to tell her what happened to her house and wardrobe. "I'm working on it." I cleared my throat again, "I just wanted to check on you."

"That day you shot yourself, I sat next to you in the hospital praying to gods I don't believe in. I begged you would wake up, and when you did I would never leave you. What I didn't tell you that day, was that I loved you. I loved you so very much and if you had died saving me, I wouldn't know how to keep on living." Maura paused, her voice shaking. "That's the only solid memory I have of you and I think it's my subconscious telling me to let go and trust you. Trust you in pushing me away like you did, no matter how much it hurt. I have to always trust you, you'll bring me home in so many ways."

I closed my eyes, fighting the tears. "Maura." My heart pounded, I loved this woman so much. "I like this new open version of you. The old you would have filled in the gaps of sentiment with some sort of nerdy explanation based out of a historical reference of love and memory attachment."

"I'm starting to understand you and your ways. I'm learning how to communicate with you and not be so complex. My old journals opened my eyes at much I over analyzed us and my feelings about us." Maura said it with unconditional love, not anger. "I should go before I wake mother. She's been watching me like a hawk, more so than Angela."

I chuckled. "I knew our ma's hanging out together would have adverse effects." Maura laughed lightly. "I miss you, Maur and I promise I'll be on the first flight to London the second after I slap the handcuffs on Holton."

"I'll be waiting." Maura whispered a goodbye.

"Wait, Maura. One last thing." I smiled sheepishly, "I love you."

"And I you, Jane." She whispered the words before hanging up. Never did a whisper have a hold on me before.

I tossed the phone on my stomach, the butterflies fluttering around like anxious fools. I hesitated before swinging my legs out of the bed. I needed to hit those files, not sleep. The quicker I got to Holton, the quicker I could have Maura and start our lives.

I went to rush downstairs when my phone rang. I answered it without looking. "Rizzoli."

"Afternoon Detective Rizzoli. It's so good to hear your voice!"

I frowned, pulling the phone away to look at the number, quickly memorizing it for Frost to trace. "Who is this?"

"Let me save Boston Police resources. Cooper Holton at your service." He laughed, "I hope you like the redecorating I did at Dr. Isles. It took me quite a long time."

My fists clenched as I raced downstairs. "Make this easier on me and tell me where you are. We need to talk."

Holton laughed again, "I will in a minute. But first I wanted to tell you how much I love your work. I was so very wrong about your relationship with Dr. Isles. Putting her on her parent's plane was something a detective would do with a witness. Not a woman in love. I was so very wrong, and I'm rarely wrong."

My heart dropped, "You leave her alone. Deal with me instead."

"As much as I would love to go toe to toe with you, I'm not going to. You've done nothing wrong to me, so why would I bother you? You're innocent Jane." Holton's tone raised all of the hairs on the back of my neck.

"So is Dr. Isles." I slammed my fist down on the granite countertop of Maura's island. "She was just doing her job."

"As was I." Holton paused and I heard background noise that sounded like he was in an airport. The overhead speaker paging someone to gate forty-three. "I must leave, Jane. I only wanted to call and let you know to stop looking over your shoulder. I'll be done with Dr. Isles and out of your hair by Thursday. Perhaps even quicker seeing as the good doctor is still in a very fragile state."

"Holton, I swear if you touch her…"

"You'll kill me. I get it. Hmm, maybe I was incorrect about my assumption of your relationship, this could change some of my plans. Draw out her end." Holton sighed dramatically. "It doesn't matter now, I have a flight to catch." He paused as the background noise grew louder, "Oh and I'm headed to London. I have more resources than you expected, Jane. I'll give Maura your best."

Holton hung up as my rage hit its point. I almost crushed my phone in my hand, trying to calm down. I sucked in a breath and snapped into action. I called Frost as I ran upstairs to throw what little clothes I had in my drawer into a bag. "Frost. Call London metro and tell them what's happening here. Holton found Maura."

"Shit. How did he do that?" Frost was half asleep, the poor guy had spent as much time as us cleaning Maura's house.

"Fuck if I know. All I know is I need to be on a plane to London as quickly as possible." I reached under Maura's bed and grabbed my extra gun I hid under there. It was a terrible habit I carried over from my apartment.

I heard the fast click of a keyboard, "I'm on it. I also checked the Isles jet flight plan. It landed two hours ago. It's the fastest way to get to London before Holton."

I groaned, "I can't call Constance. I don't want to freak her out before the police get there."

Frost chuckled, "It's a good thing you're listed on the Isles list of VIP's. You have access to any of their resources at the drop of hat. I'll call the pilot on duty while you drive to Logan. Man, Jane, you got yourself one hell of a lady."

I nodded as I threw on jeans and my boots. "I know, Frost, I know." I ran down the stairs, grabbing my gun and badge. "Keep me updated with London metro, tell them to have an officer meet me and to have uniforms sitting outside of Maura's apartment until I get there."

"You got it." Frost hung up as I slid into the driver's seat of my cruiser.

I squealed the tires and hesitated throwing the lights and siren on. I clenched the steering wheel as I raced through Boston.

This wasn't how I imagined my flight to London was going to go.

I just hoped I could get to Holton before he got to Maura.