My lips opened of their own accord to shoot back a reply, but I caught myself just in time and kept quiet. Levi was obviously livid, and I had better do exactly as he said if I wanted to keep on living. Which didn't mean it was not already killing me to hold my tongue right now. When we reached the first floor, he pushed the door open and stepped out into the golden evening glow. I hurried after him, my heart pounding furiously, blood rushing in my ears. Levi headed straight for my black pick up as if he knew what kind of car I drove. I was hot on his heels. When he got to my car, he swiveled around and grabbed my collar in a death grip, turning me around and pushing me up against the car's side with a force that knocked the air right out of my burning lungs.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Eren? Are you fucking insane?"

There was moisture glossing his eyes over, turning their metal gray to liquid silver. His usually pale cheeks were flushed with color. He was furious, that much I could tell. But he was also... Scared? Ashamed?

"I-I'm sorry," I stammered, "I didn't know your uncle was... Like this."

"Well, here's a fucking news flash for you," Levi bit out, his hands burrowing further into my jacket with a force I'd have never believed he possessed, "Not everything's all rainbows and unicorns! That's exactly why you can't turn up at my place whenever you fucking please! Goddammit, Eren! Fuck!"

He pulled on my jacket, making me stumble against him in an ungraceful plunge before he shoved me roughly back against the car once more. With another vicious curse, he released me and turned away, his shaking hands burying in his hair to tear and tug on the black strands in a way that had to be painful. It was a display of misery, and I couldn't possibly stand there without doing anything. This was all my fault. I never meant to hurt him in any way. Yes, I should've called him before coming over, but I couldn't turn back time, no matter how bad I wanted to. What was left was to find a way to deal with what had just happened. Thankfully, my car was parked out of sight from Levi's apartment. It would've been disastrous if his uncle decided to sneak a peek down at the parking lot and find us in the middle of a fight.

"Levi, hey..." I began, extending my hand to pull him around to face me.

His eyes were wet and wild when they met mine, a deep frown marring the skin between his eyebrows. Reaching up, I gently let my hand slip into his ruffled hair and closed my fingers around his, which were still holding onto the thick strands. Slowly, softly, I laced our fingers together and took them out of his hair. Deciding to take the risk, I pulled him against me, so close that our chests were touching, and placed our joined hands against the small of my back. His unoccupied palm came up to push me away, but his attempt was half-hearted at best.

"Shit, just... Leave me alone," he mumbled into my shirt, even as his head dropped against my chest and stayed there, his warm breath creeping through my shirt and whispering along my skin beneath.

I ran my fingers up and down his spine before lingering on his nape to brush over the silky, shaved hair at the back of his head.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I said, my voice breaking on the last word, "I should've called. I should've asked. I just... I wanted to surprise you. I didn't mean to intrude or provoke a fight. All I wanted was to come pick you up to take you out. God, it seems so stupid now. I am stupid. Please... Forgive me?"

"I-I..." he took a deep breath and looked me squarely in the eye, "I don't know, Eren. Maybe we should just... Stop. It's better if we don't see each other anymore."

"No, hey," I said, my heart clenching painfully at the thought of stopping anything at all with him, "Don't even go there, Levi. There's nothing wrong with you, you hear me? Liking guys doesn't make you a bad person, no matter what your uncle thinks. You're perfect just the way you are, and nothing he says can change that."

Levi's bottom lip began to quiver, his beautiful gray eyes tearing up in a matter of seconds. Damn, I was the one who wanted to cry right now. My hands came up to cup his face, my thumbs brushing over his cheeks, wiping away every single tear that fell from his long lashes. His eyes squeezed shut when I leaned in to brush my lips against his cheeks, his forehead, his chin. I kissed his face all over, tasting salt and wetness and Levi's scent on my lips. I never wanted to let him go. The resistance left him and he grew pliant in my arms, allowing me to take care of him at last. After what felt like hours, he began to calm down. I listened as his breathing grew relaxed and easy. My arms slid around his neck and I hugged him tight, brushing through his messy strands until they became soft and smooth beneath my fingertips. Levi gave a weak sigh and squared his shoulders. Looking up at me, he said, "Let's go. Take me away from here."

We were driving in silence for the longest time. Whenever traffic allowed, I threw a glance in Levi's direction, only to see him gazing out the window at the quickly darkening sky overhead. I was scouring my mind for something to say, but the right words wouldn't come to me. Once again, there was a wall between us I was yearning to overcome, if only I knew how.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly.

"Getting there," he replied without looking at me.

Reaching over, I linked my fingers with his and laid our joined hands in my lap. Levi did neither protest nor pull away, a little fact that made my heart rejoice with relief.

I kept quiet for a few moments while I followed the road leading outside of town, heading for the beachside at the outskirts of Trost. It was a beautiful spot, especially at night, and I was itching to take him there and spend a few quiet moments by the shore.

"The beach?" He asked when I set the turn signal.

"Yep," I nodded, "Is that okay with you? Sorry, I should've asked you before."

A mistake that seemed to repeat itself already.

"No, no. It's fine. It's nice out there," he replied.

I chanced a wry smile at him and caught the little twinkle of excitement in his dark eyes that had my heart doing happy twirls. After driving on the gravel road for another fifteen minutes, the beach came into view. It was lying there in soft evening light, its surface only disrupted by gentle waves and translucent foam. It was so peaceful. I passed the main parking lot and took the bumpy dirt road down to the shore to get as close as I could. Thankfully, I owned a truck that could take the uneven ground with ease. I parked off the beaten track under a tall oak tree before turning off the engine. The ceasing of the motor noise made silence stretch around us like a heavy blanket, but it wasn't entirely uncomfortable this time around.

My hand dropped from the steering wheel to cup his, which was still linked with mine. My eyes were fixed on us holding hands, and I began to draw soft patterns on the soft skin along Levi's wrist.

"Levi… I want to apologize again. Believe me, if I'd known I'd have never taken the liberty to come by without telling you. I'm sorry for being so inconsiderate."

He didn't look at me, but his shoulders shrugged in defeat. "I don't blame you, Eren. Not anymore. I know you only meant well. It's just… Damn, I never wanted this to happen. It's been hard for me ever since I told my mom and uncle I was into guys. He's still not accepted it, as you can tell. If I so much as talk about a guy, he just... He loses it."

I turned in my seat and curled my index finger under his chin to coax his face gently in my direction.

"That's horrible. I can't believe your uncle is putting you through this hell. God, you... You deserve so much better. Please tell me you know that."

He sighed and dropped his head in my hand, his eyes fluttering closed. "You don't understand what it's like, Eren. You haven't come out. Nobody knows. It's easy to say how people should react to someone being gay in theory, but reality is just different. You don't know what it feels like to make that step and decide to come out, only to have the people closest to you turn against you."

"No, I don't know what it feels like, and I don't pretend to. I just want to tell you that you've done nothing wrong. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I admire you for being so strong and coming out to your family. I just can't bear to see you facing this pain from the people who should support you. That's what's been eating away at you lately, isn't it?"

Levi looked me in the eye, before he sighed and pulled his hand out mine. The feeling of loss was immediate, and left me wanting more.

"No. Yes… I don't know," he said reluctantly, "It's part of it."

I ran my fingers through his hair and watched him shiver at the affection. This conversation was difficult enough as it was, I couldn't do this without him being way closer to me than he was now.

"Do you want to sit back in the truck bed for a bit? I brought blankets," I said quietly while I studied his face to gauge his reaction to my offer.

"Sounds nice," he finally replied with a little smile.

I nodded, my heart jumping back into high alert, and opened the car door to get out. I pulled a large bag and a bundle of checkered blankets from the back seat and walked around to put them in the truck bed. Levi joined me in the back and eyed the bed curiously, biting his lip as he stepped closer.

I chuckled and approached him from behind before wrapping him in my arms. My nose buried in his soft black hair, and I smiled blissfully as he leaned back against my chest.

"Want me to help you?" I whispered, my lips at his ear to kiss the soft spot just below his lobe.

A little moan escaped him as my breath danced over the small hairs on the back of his neck, then he nodded quickly. Grinning all the while, I let my hands travel down his sides until they reached his hips. My fingers caressed the soft swell before I grabbed him and turned his body around to face me. A cute oof left his lips when he collided with my chest. I didn't wait for his reprimand, instead lifting him up and taking a step forward to sit him up on the truck bed. He slipped his palms beneath his thighs, his legs dangling back and forth—just shy of touching the floor. He was so adorable, so perfect, sitting on the back of my truck like this.

I stepped closer, my hands creeping slowly up his thighs to part them and allow me to step in between. I shot him a meaningful smile, and he knew. With a soft smirk, he wrapped his arms around my neck, one hand cupping the back of my head to pull me closer. I caught a quick peek of his silver eyes flashing gorgeously in the moonlight before my consciousness shut down as soon as his lips touched mine. It was just lips first, teasing, stroking, suckling. I knew the soft texture of his mouth by heart now, both inside and out, yet every time I kissed him felt like the best kind of novelty. It was all I could ask for, and so very addictive. Our lips moved against each other, our tongues just shy of dipping out to steal a taste. When Levi's wet tip finally came out to lick tentatively across my bottom lip, I moaned languidly into his mouth, making him smile against my lips. When I took too long to give him access, he bit me hard enough to draw his name in an aroused, half-scolding mewl.

"Cheeky," I laughed into his mouth when he continued to chase my lips with his teeth.

"Mh, you like it," he breathed.

Did I ever. After another round of breathy kisses, I climbed up into the truck bed and closed the rear. Levi got to unfolding the blankets. He laid them down for us to wrap ourselves in, but then he moved away to sit across from me. I bit my lip and pouted, to which he replied with a low chuckle.

"You don't like me sitting so far away from you?" He teased.

"No, I don't. You should come sit over here," I patted the spot between my legs, "It's getting colder and this place right here is nice and warm."

"And you think you deserve that? After that little stunt you pulled with my uncle?"

My smile dropped, along with my playful attitude. Guilt struck me straight through my chest, and I felt the most ridiculous urge to hide under the blanket. It was his right to scold me for what I'd done for years to come, but I felt bad enough without him telling me. God, how I wished things had been different.

"Come on, Eren. I'm not being serious. Stop looking like that," Levi said.

"No, you're right," I shrugged and averted my gaze, "I'm sorry."

"Hey," he whispered and shuffled around, but I didn't look up to find out why. I couldn't look at him right now. All I wanted was to wipe the slate clean, but I knew there was nothing I could do to undo my mistake. If Levi wanted to quit things between us, he could. And I didn't even have an argument that would stop him.

I was surprised to find him leaning over my outstretched legs on all fours, the slightest touch of a smile on his lips. "Stop pouting already."

I blushed. He was so close. All I wanted was to pull him against me and forget all about what had happened. I wanted to go back to before a well-meant surprise visit had made everything difficult and uncertain between us. Maybe I should have held back. It wasn't fair for me to be this close to him after I'd been the reason he was facing more problems with his uncle than he already did. I should step back and give him distance, if I only could. Yet my hands reached out for him all on their own, seeking his familiar warmth to assure me of his proximity.

"I'm so sorry. God, I want to slap myself right now for being so careless," I muttered into his skin as my lips touched his nape.

"We can't do anything about it now," he sighed breathlessly when I began to mouth against the soft skin of his throat. "I hate that it happened. I hate that he's seen your face and knows your name. I didn't want that, but it's done now. I can't change that, and neither can you. Eren... Have you ever—No. Nevermind. It's not important."

I lifted a questioning eyebrow at him. There was no way I'd let him get away without telling me what was on his mind. "Tell me, please. I want to know."

"No, it doesn't matter."

I stroked his back and placed a soft kiss to his ear. "Please? You can ask me anything, you know that. Don't hold back, okay? It's alright."

He watched me closely, cautiously, before he finally took a deep breath and spoke, "Have you ever... Thought about coming out?"

As soon as the words had left his mouth, he grew stiff against me. This question was as important as it was daunting, and it was obvious how much it meant to him. There was no way we could continue our relationship—or be official—if I didn't choose to come out. No way that didn't include secrecy and sneaking around, that was. Levi deserved more than that. He deserved someone who was honest and proud to call him his boyfriend.

So where did that leave me?

Coming out was a huge thing. My parents would probably take it easier than Levi's family had, even if I wasn't entirely sure about my dad. We did have a fairly good relationship, but if he'd accept his only son being gay without batting an eye remained to be seen. As for my mom, I had no doubt she'd support me. She loved me unconditionally, she'd not allow something like my orientation to change that. That left everyone else. Armin, Mikasa, the rest of my friends, the entire school. I wasn't ashamed of liking guys, but I had to admit thinking about letting everyone I knew know about it scared me. Would people start treating me differently? Would there be scorn or hate, like Levi was facing from his own family? Would we have to fight for there to be an us everyday?

Apparently, I had been quietly dwelling on my thoughts for quite some time now. I jolted out of my intense brooding when Levi's lips placed a sweet kiss to the corner of my mouth.

"Still with me?"

"Ah, sorry," I said, clearing my throat, "I was just thinking. Levi... I want to be honest with you."

Levi's eyes widened at that, even though he tried to hide it. There was a frown marring the skin between his thin eyebrows and a bit of color drained from his cheeks. I grabbed his hips and pulled him forward, so he'd sit on my lap facing me. I continued to brush my thumbs against his hips before I wrapped my arms around his waist and searched his eyes.

"No, I haven't thought about coming out."

Levi gasped. He actually gasped, and then slapped a hand over his mouth as if he couldn't believe he'd actually just done that. He tensed noticeably and made a move to get away from me, but before he could, I locked my arms around him and spoke again.

"Wait, I'm not done. No, I haven't thought about coming out. Not before I met you. Not before I got the chance to be so close to you. Levi, listen. I don't know what this is we have. I don't know where it goes. All I know is that I don't want it to end. Truth be told, I can't imagine being without you anymore. I can't think about going back to school, knowing you the way I do, and not be with you. I haven't come out yet, but Levi, for you—I would."

Levi opened his mouth to interrupt me, but I silenced him with a quick kiss.

"Still not done," I smiled. "It's not that I want to come out for you. I'm doing it for myself, because you're too important to me not to. It's what I want. Keeping it to myself feels like a lie at this point, and I don't want to lie, neither to myself nor to anyone else. I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine."

For the moment after I'd spoken, time stood still. All that was audible was the soft breaking of waves on the shore, accompanied by the gentle chirping of crickets nearby. I looked up at Levi, at his glossy, deep gray eyes which were filled to the brim with emotion, at the silvery twinkle of stars in the dark velvet of the sky just behind him. When I'd decided to take him out here on a date, I'd have never anticipated this night would entail a love confession. But here I was, on the brink of admitting how much he meant to me, and suddenly, I couldn't imagine a better time or place for it to happen.

"Levi," I whispered when he stayed silent. My hands wandered from his hips up to brush over his arms and shoulders, all the way up until they came to cup his rosy cheeks.

"Yes?" He breathed, and I'd have missed it if he hadn't been so close to me.

"I love you. I love you so much that I can't even begin putting into words what it feels like. God, I don't want this to ever stop."

I closed my eyes then. While focusing on keeping my breathing steady, I replayed my confession in my head. It was out, and god, did it feel liberating. It felt so right—so right that I wondered how I had been able to hold back for so long. My heart jumped around in my chest, overjoyed at finally getting its way. Levi could turn me down, and after what happened tonight, he had so much more reason to. He could tell me he didn't want me, or break up right here, right now. Before that happened, I wanted to indulge in the sweet idea of living in a reality in which he loved me, just as much as I loved him. For however long it took him to reply, I wanted to believe we had a chance.

"Eren..." he whispered slowly, his voice heavy with emotion, "I-I..."

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to," I replied without opening my eyes.

"Eren, look at me."

A soft sigh passed my lips as I opened my eyes to find his. Having his eyes on me felt like a physical caress, so soft and sweet that I had to wonder how I'd ever live without seeing those gorgeous gray pools of emotion everyday. In that moment, I just had to smile. I didn't know how he'd reply, and maybe I was just a mere handful of words away from losing him forever. But that smile was something I couldn't hold back. I loved him, and knowing that he knew made me so incredibly happy that not even the prospect of rejection could take that from me.

"I love you, too. I've tried not to but... These feelings wouldn't let me go, no matter how hard I tried or how often I wanted to make myself believe this is nothing more than a summer fling between us. If..." he cleared his throat, his cheeks flushing pink with fresh color, "If you really want me, I'm yours."

There are moments when you just know, when you feel that when they've passed, your life is about to change. That everything will be different from here on out, and this moment was one of them. I couldn't believe the words Levi had just said to me, even while I knew it to be true, while my chest burst with millions of butterflies and my feelings spiraled out of control, it was still hard to grasp the incredibly beautiful luck I was having.

When things finally clicked and my mind caught up, things happened so fast. Levi was in my arms, on his back in the truck bed, gasping for air while I couldn't stop my hands from roaming his body or my lips from searching his with a hunger beyond control.

"I love you. I love you," I whispered into his skin again and again, kissing the words into every soft spot I touched. I couldn't get enough of telling him, of tasting the weight of those three little words on my tongue.

"Ah Eren, w-wait a bit," he implored, but soon after, his breathless reprimands turned to laughter, and I joined right in. If there had ever been a time I felt happier than I did right now, I couldn't remember it, not with all the will in the world. My hands wandered under his shirt, along the expanse of his body, caressing his skin until he squirmed beneath me. I was well underway to devour him with both my hands and lips, at least until he stopped me with a light bonk to my head.

I resurfaced from my elated daze and blinked stupidly, "Sorry."

Levi was breathing hard, his cheeks red and—oh my god, were those actual teeth marks along his jawline?

"Uhm, okay. I have no excuse for ravishing you like I did, but I have an apology ready. You're my boyfriend now, aren't you?" I laughed cheerfully. It was too good to be true. "Maybe you can forgive the sudden attack? I really, really couldn't help myself."

He laughed and gently shook his head. "Considering the circumstances, I might be able to make an exception."

I laughed and leaned down to kiss him again, my hands wrapping around his to pin them up over his head. A soft moan left his lips at my sudden display of dominance, and I swallowed the lovely sound with my lips. His small palms slipped beneath my shirt with equal fervor, his nails scratching up the skin along my back and sides.

"Eren, I—" he blushed hard, noticeable even in the dim light of night. "I love you, too."

It was the sweetest thing, he spoke the words with an incredulous smile on his lips, as if he couldn't quite believe them yet.

"You're so cute," I breathed before kissing a slow trail along his collarbone.

"Am not," he whispered back while he pulled his shirt down to give me easier access.

He spread his legs and wrapped them tightly around my waist, and god, I wanted him. Again. Despite everything that had happened earlier. I felt a tweak of guilty conscience considering I didn't deserve to get anywhere near his body tonight, but it was not strong enough to keep me from wanting more. Not when he was telling me he loved me, not when he was touching me like he was. I wanted to celebrate us getting together, and what better way to do that than to connect in the most intimate way possible?

"Levi..." I whispered into his neck while my hand slipped down along his waist to give his full behind a hearty squeeze.

As soon as I touched him there, he flinched. He actually flinched, something that had never happened before. Anxiety flooded my system, and in a matter of seconds, I became hyperaware of every last little movement he made.

"I-I'm sorry," he stammered, averting his eyes. "I didn't mean to... It's not that I don't want to... It's just—"

Realization dawned on me, and I backed away to give him space.

"It's because of what your uncle said, isn't it? About guys like me only being out to use you?"

He bit his lip and shrugged forlornly. I knew then that I was right.

"It's not like I don't want to be a bottom. To be your bottom. You've never given me any reason to believe you weren't serious about this, it's just... He keeps telling me guys are only using me. It kind of... Sticks, you know?"

His shoulders sagged in defeat and my heart plummeted at the sight. I understood, I really did. Being a bottom made one more vulnerable, more defenseless. It took more to open up like this than the other way around. An idea bloomed in my mind, and as soon as it was there, I knew it was exactly what I wanted to do.

I leaned back against the truck bed's side and reached out to grab his shirt between my fingers. His eyes widened when I pulled him on top of me, my hands searching his to place them firmly on my waist.

"Top me," I said. Every second that ticked by made me want this more. "I want you to. Let me give myself to you the same way you give yourself to me. I want to feel you. Please."