Levi

Maybe I could have kept it a secret, just for a little bit longer. That was, if Eren weren't so obsessed with nibbling on my neck and I weren't so hopelessly into it. Isabel and Farlan came over to where I was sitting on the bed, taking a seat to either side of me. Here I was—trapped between my two best friends, who where set on making me spill all my secrets.

I moved back and leaned against the wall, watching them. I had no idea where to start. I wasn't even sure if I was ready to tell them about the one-eighty my life had made lately, but they were my best friends. Admittedly, thinking about sharing felt pretty good. I was insanely happy that I'd found Eren and was getting serious with him, so why not tell my friends why I'd went ghost on them ever since Eren had turned up at the ice cream truck?

I sighed. Well, easier said than done. I'd never been the talkative type, and considering this was my first serious relationship ever, I didn't know the right etiquette to broach the subject.

"So," Isabel said, obviously trying her best to stay calm. "Anything you want to get off your chest?"

"Uhm well," I began, my cheeks flushing with fresh color. Great, if that wasn't a dead giveaway then I didn't know what was. I was basically admitting it without uttering a single word. "I-I don't know, I mean..."

"Hey," she cut in gently, an encouraging smile lifting the corners of her mouth. "It's alright. I'm sorry for getting all excited just now, it's just... Well, it is pretty exciting, isn't it?"

She gave me a toothy grin. "Levi, is there someone? Someone special?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Trying to stall, I picked up a throw pillow and began to play with it. I didn't understand why I was so nervous about this. Probably because this was my first time having this conversation. I'd not told anyone about Eren and me so far, and I guessed doing it now made everything feel even more real.

However, they were my closest friends and I would not lie to them if they asked me about it point-blank. I had to take the plunge.

"Yes... There is someone special..." I smiled absentmindedly, "Someone very special."

I caught Isabel and Farlan shooting each other fond smiles, their eyes soft and affectionate.

"Wow," Isabel sighed, moving closer to take my hands in hers. "Levi, I... Wow. This is amazing. I am so happy for you. I can tell you like this person a lot."

I blushed. Again. In a weak attempt to cover it up, I dropped my gaze and pulled on a thread that had become loose on one side of the pillow case.

"Yeah, I mean... God. He's... Sweet and funny and he treats me as if I'm his entire world. He makes me feel so special. When I'm with him, it's... As if I belong, you know? He's just... Wow. To me, he's perfect."

My thoughts had long drifted and come to linger on Eren; on his beautiful smile, on his sweet lips telling me he loved me. The memory was vivid enough to make me reach up and brush the pads of my fingers over my bottom lip. His taste was still imprinted on me, and all I wanted was to keep it that way. Forever, preferably.

"Would you look at that?" Isabel grinned, nudging my side. "Someone's very much in love."

"Mh yeah," I said, finally feeling confident enough to return her smile. "I guess I am."

"Oh, come here!" She crawled over the bed and threw herself at me, her arms pulling me into a tight hug that knocked the wind right out of me. "I want to squeeze you forever! Except that now, somebody might have a problem with that, huh?"

I grinned as I thought about Eren's possessiveness when it came to me. Yeah, someone would probably have a problem if I spent all day locked up in someone else's arms.

"I think he would be a bit jealous," I smirked, liking the idea way more than I should. Then, my eyes fell on Farlan. He hadn't moved from his spot by the edge of the bed, his expression caught in a mix between wonder and thoughtfulness.

I nudged him with my toe and watched as he snapped out of his thoughts.

"Everything alright? You haven't said a word," I remarked.

"Oh, sorry," he said. "I guess I just wasn't expecting that..."

I lifted an eyebrow at him and he was quick to add, "I'm happy for you, of course!"

Admittedly, I found his reaction a bit odd but maybe he really was just caught by surprise. I mean, I had been caught by surprise by all the things that had happened between Eren and me, in such a short amount of time no less.

"So!" Isabel chimed in, demanding my attention. "Tell us all about him! What does he look like? I bet he's tall."

I smirked at her and shrugged. "Well, compared to me, everyone is tall. But yes, he is quite tall, though not overly so. He's just right."

"Mh, it must be so nice to go up on tippy toes for a kiss," she sighed. "So romantic! What about his eyes? And his hair?"

"He's a brunette, but not the boringly normal kind... More like the chocolaty kind. His eyes... God, they are gorgeous. Something between green and blue, like a deep teal."

Goddammit, what was I even saying? It would be nice if my mouth could just stop talking and refrain from embarrassing me any further.

Isabel giggled and threw herself into my bed, grabbing my pillow from me and squealing into it. Her sudden bout of fangirling made me chuckle.

"God!" she wheezed. "He sounds amazing. How old is he? Wait... He's not like forty or so, right?"

I rolled my eyes and grabbed another pillow to throw at her.

"No, he's not forty! He's my age," I said.

That made both Isabel and Farlan perk right up. Too late I realized they'd be able to connect the dots with this admission.

"So if he's our age and from around here... He has to go to our school! Damn, this has just gotten all the more exciting!" Isabel clapped her hands with enthusiasm. "So, the question of all questions: Do we know him?"

There was no way in hell they'd not know Eren from school. Everyone knew him, even if only by hearsay. However, it was not my place to disclose the fact that Eren was into guys. He had not come out yet, not to anyone as far as I knew, and I would not tell on something I had no right to. This was his decision to make, not mine.

"Maybe... I can't really tell you, sorry. He's not come out yet."

I met Farlan's gaze when I looked up. He didn't look away. I fought the urge to squirm under his stare. Something about him seemed off today, yet I couldn't put my finger on what it was. What was his deal?

"Urgh!" Isabel pouted, "That's too bad. I so want to know. Just imagine, maybe I've already talked to him at some point! But... I do understand. If he's not come out yet, you should definitely keep it a secret until he's ready."

I gave her a grateful smile. "Thanks, Iz."

"How about a little hint, though?" Farlan piped up. "I mean, it's not as if we'd tell anyone. And he will come out soon, right? How would you be able to be together otherwise? Are you even together?"

I had expected those kind of critical questions. What I didn't expect was that Farlan would be the one to ask them.

"Yeah," I said, looking at him pointedly, "We are together. About your hint, I can't give you one. This is not about me not trusting you guys, it's about respecting his decision."

Farlan crossed his arms, a quick flicker of annoyance crossing his features. I didn't miss it.

"I get it," he sighed after a few moments. "So... How long has this been going on between you two?"

"I met him on my first day of work, and we started to talk. He came by almost everyday after that, and it kind of went from there."

Farlan nodded thoughtfully and then dropped his gaze. I was relived he'd finally done that, him watching me with this piercing stare gave me goose bumps, and not the good sort. I made a mental note to ask him about what was wrong after we were through discussing my newfound love life.

"So, time for the juicy details. You guys have obviously touched first base, so what about... More than that?" Isabel asked.

More. Ha.

"Uhm yeah... We have done more than that."

"Levi?"

"Hm?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Uh-huh. I bet nothing is also the reason you're blushing right now."

Even while I mentally tried to write that remark off as a lure on her part, I felt the warmth flooding my cheeks. Why was I so terrible at keeping anything from them?

"Levi," she persisted, her green eyes boring into the side of my face while I refused to look up at her.

"What?"

"Levi."

"Oh god," Farlan said. "You've done it, haven't you? You've gone all the way with this guy."

I shrugged and bit my lip. I had the feeling this was heading in a direction I didn't want it to go. Talking about all of this was hard enough as it was, I sure as hell didn't want to dive into any juicy details. Especially not with the way dozens of hot images of Eren and me were dancing through my mind; like him fucking me raw four times a day, or me sinking into that gorgeous tan ass of his in the back of his truck... Oh, damn. Wrong things to think about.

I jolted when Farlan grabbed my shoulders and gave them a good shake. My eyes snapped up to his, a curse already forming on my lips, but he cut me off before I had the chance to ask him what the fuck his problem was.

"What the hell, Levi?" He boomed. "You don't even know this guy! How... Fuck! How could you just let him get into your pants like this? What if he's just playing you, Levi, huh? Ever thought about that? He's not even out yet! For all we know, this is all just a game to him! This isn't like you, Levi. Not at all. I can't believe you are this... this..."

Within a second I was on my feet, my hands shooting up to grab his and use them as leverage to push him up against my wardrobe. He gasped when his back connected forcibly with the wood, but I didn't give a shit. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and I didn't have time to make sense of it either. I didn't even want to.

"This what, Farlan? This easy? This slutty? Just fucking tell me, come on. No need to hold back. Not that it's any of your business, but I am old enough to make my own decisions and if I feel like offering my ass to someone on the first date, I fucking can, got it? You don't know anything about him, so don't you dare talk about him like that!"

When he stayed silent, I caught my breath and let him go, but didn't back off. Despite the seriousness of the situation, a humorless chuckle bubbled from my lips.

"You of all people should know what it means to come out. I can't even fucking believe the bullshit you're spouting."

Farlan grabbed my hand from the air and gave it a sharp tug to pull me against him. That was when I really lost it. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I knew he was only trying to calm me down, but I was far away from being able to be this close to him and he should know that. I began to thrash in his arms, jumping up and down to extricate myself.

"Levi, hey, shh... Calm down..."

"Let go of me!"

"Boys!" Isabel jumped at us, squeezing herself in between and forcing us apart. I was breathing heavily, my eyes stinging with tears of rage. I just wanted to be alone. I wanted to run for shelter in Eren's arms and forget everything Farlan had said could be a reality I didn't want to consider.

"Hey!" Isabel cried. "What the hell is going on with you, huh? Calm the fuck down, both of you!"

With a curse, I pushed her hand from my chest and turned away to stalk to the other end of the room. My heart was throbbing in my chest, and I felt the most oppressive urge to scream. Despite being unaware of it myself, Farlan had hit a sore spot and right now, I hated him for striking me where it hurt the most. I knew Eren was serious about me, that he loved me—at least that was what I wanted to believe, what I needed to believe. Nevertheless, those gnawing doubts were there, nestled somewhere deep inside me. They'd gotten their teeth into me, and even knowing Eren and everything he was doing for me, I couldn't shake being scared. Scared of getting hurt. Scared of losing him. I loved him so much that it hurt, and just the thought of being without him made me lose every thread of control I was so used to having.

"Just go," I said. Even to my own ears, the request sounded cold and distant, and for a second I felt a surge of guilt, but that was quick to pass. All I wanted right now was to be alone.

Isabel turned to look at me, her eyes pleading. "Levi, he's just worried about you. He only means to protect you..."

"All he's doing is trashing my relationship! I told you how much I like him, yet he goes and proclaims him as a liar. You don't even know him, for fuck's sake! Maybe you should trust my judgment on this, but I guess you just know better, huh?"

She crossed her arms and leveled an imploring look at Farlan. He just shrugged and held his head high as he stared at me from his spot by my wardrobe.

Nobody spoke a few painful moments, and I started playing with the thought of just throwing both of them out. I was so done with having this conversation. I was just about to open my mouth when Farlan beat me to it.

"Look," he said, his blue eyes icier than I'd ever seen them, "I won't take back what I said. As your friend, I want to be honest with you and I do think you're rushing into things." He sighed and ran an exasperated hand through his hair. I watched him—saw how his stance changed, how the hardness bled out of his expression while he looked back at me.

"Levi please," he said quietly. "I just... I don't want to see you hurt, that's all. You're my best friend and you deserve someone who loves you and treats you right. I can see how much you like this guy, but how well do you know him, really? It's only been a couple weeks, Levi. Please, all I'm trying to do here is be a voice of reason... Don't you see that I only want what's best for you?"

My shoulders sagged. I was torn between thanking him for being such a good friend and kicking him out of my house for pricking my perfect Eren bubble. At a loss for what to say, I dropped my gaze and began chewing my lip. It didn't even take a heartbeat until I felt Farlan's arms wrapping around me. Defiance flared like an ugly afterthought that reminded me why I shouldn't let him hold me right now, but I forced it down and half-hugged him back with one arm.

"I'm happy if that guy treats you right. Just be careful. If you need something, I'm here, okay? I'll always be here," he whispered into my ear and I shivered despite myself. With the way we were standing, our bodies flush as he held me close and his nose buried in my hair, the moment seemed so strangely intimate that it made me squirm.

"Yeah," I said, taking a step out of Farlan's embrace, "I know it's soon, but it just feels… Right. I'd appreciate it if you could just be happy for me."

Farlan nodded and reached out to squeeze my shoulder. "I am. I'm just worried about you, too."

We sat down on my bed afterwards, and I was glad to talk about things that didn't include my new relationship. We listened to some music and thought about what to do with the rest of our summer, before all three of us started to yawn and stretch.

"Let's call it a night?" I suggested and when both nodded their approval, I brought them to the door and we said our goodbyes.

Upon walking back to my room, I spotted a passed out Kenny on the recliner in the living room, the TV still on to some football game. From the way he seemed to be out like a light, I was pretty sure he hadn't overheard the argument I'd had with Farlan in my room, which I was beyond grateful for. He'd not hesitate to grill me about what had happened if he heard. I headed straight for my wardrobe and changed into a pair of comfy grey sweats and a white t-shirt to sleep in. As I got to brushing my teeth, I looked at my reflection in the large mirror over the sink. A tired face with shadows under its eyes and paler skin than usual stared back at me. So much had happened, it had been a day filled with ups and downs. I felt drained and looked the part, but when I brushed my fingertips over the kiss marks in various colors gracing my neck, I couldn't help but smile. The view was accompanied by the feeling of Eren's soft lips on my skin, and a sudden vicious pang of longing hit me squarely in the chest. God, how I wished I could just step out of this apartment and walk all the way to Eren's place, just to fall asleep bundled up in those strong arms that could chase any pain away as if it was never there to begin with.

I went back into my room and turned off the lights, finding my way to the bed through the moonlight. Smiling as I slipped under the covers, I realized how unfamiliar it felt to be in a bed by myself. It had only been a few weeks since I met Eren, and still, not having him around made me feel like an essential part of me was missing. Thinking about him made me remember something important. I sat up in bed and started frisking the blankets for my phone. I'd promised Eren to call, and I didn't want to break that promise. Not that my motives were entirely altruistic. Everything Farlan had said tonight had riled me up more than I thought possible and hearing Eren's voice right now sounded damn good to me.

I dialed his number and held the phone to my ear, listening to it ring.

"Hey," Eren's velvety voice whispered in my ear, "I thought you'd forgotten all about me."

"Yeah right, and how would I be able to do that?" I smirked to myself. Jesus. One word from him and I could practically feel myself heal already.

"I miss you," he sighed longingly, and a warm shiver of adoration danced down my spine in response. "I have no idea how I'll be able to sleep tonight. Honestly Levi, what have you done to me? It feels so odd to know I'm going to wake up without you."

It was sudden, absolutely unpredictable. A sniffle. A tiny, utterly embarrassing sniffle escaped my throat, out of nowhere. For a second, I contemplated hanging up on him. Where the hell had that come from? For some reason, I had no control over myself today and it was starting to seriously annoy me.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Damn, he'd noticed. Of course he'd notice, it made me wonder how well he knew me already with how easy it seemed for him to read me.

"Nothing," I tried to play it down, but even to me, my voice sounded strained. "I just needed to hear your voice."

"It's alright, baby. I'm here. I'll talk to you forever if you want me to," Eren breathed down the line and my heart gave an excited squeeze.

Usually, I didn't like being called 'baby', but somehow, the endearment was exactly what I needed right now, and he'd used it as if he knew. God, I loved him. Everything he said, everything he did proved to me how deeply he cared for me, how much I meant to him. He gave me so much more than I deserved.

"Fuck," I said, chuckling softly. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby. And that's why I want to ask you something."

I pulled the covers over my shoulder and bit my lip in anticipation. "What is it?"

"Levi, I've been thinking... Would you go on a date with me? A real one? I'm dying to take you out to somewhere nice and have a perfect night with you."

My breath hitched in my throat and I felt my cheeks heat up. He was just asking me out for a date for god's sake, there was no logical reason to get all nervous now, and yet I was. Pictures of Eren and me in some nice restaurant flickered through my mind. We'd be out there, in the open, being together. For everyone to see, and I realized how much I wanted that. It felt like taking the next step in our relationship and now that Eren was the one who offered to take it, I felt millions of butterflies swarm my belly, making me feel lightheaded for a moment.

"Yes," I whispered, my heart pounding as if I was about to do something life-changing, "Yes. I want to. I want to go on a real date with you. So much."

I could positively hear Eren's smile when he replied, "Really? Wow. Okay, I totally want to jump in my car and come kidnap you right now."

I laughed and then turned on my side to snuggle into my blanket, imagining his arms around me, his nose buried in my undercut and his lips caressing my neck, like he loved to do whenever we were spooning.

"Soon," I promised, growing hopelessly excited when I thought about seeing him again; being with him, feeling him close to me. "I can't wait."

We kept talking and talking, sharing long laughter, whispered love confessions and flirtatious teases. The night had already moved well into early morning when I felt my eyes drooping. I kept dozing off but refused to end the call, so Eren talked to me until I finally drifted off into a peaceful sleep with his beautiful voice in my ear and his gorgeous face in my head.