First off, thank you GardenGoddess for your very kind review! I am trying so hard to write the characters realistically and give them character development throughout the story. Especially with Kylo Ren. He has the longest way to go in his story arch. Thank you everyone who followed or favorited the story! Please leave a review or add the story to you alerts! And if you are wondering when Rey and Kylo will finally come face to face with each other, it will be soon. Also, I hope it is not annoying for you as a reader to not read a lot of dialogue so far. I have always believed so much more inner dialogue and thinking goes on in a character than what they actually express out loud. Well, enough of me rambling. Enjoy the chapter!
I do not own Star Wars
Chapter Seven
Rey opened her eyes to see the deep, blue sky above. She lay there, perfectly still from the shock of what just took place. She didn't even know where to start processing the dream she just had. Or was it a nightmare? Both?
Her breathing became shallow as she realized what she'd done right before waking. Trembling, her hand came up to brush along her cheek and jawline.
He touched me. I let him.
The feel of his rough hand had calmed her, had made her feel safe. She should've walked away from him, should've done things differently, but she couldn't. In that short moment, he'd been a different person, one she had been drawn to as sure as gravity could bring down a shooting star.
And his eyes...
In his eyes she'd seen his humanity. All the other times she'd been around him, it had been cloaked, disappearing when he wore those dark tunics to become the man others expected him to be. But she saw it in his eyes only a moment ago, in the shade of the dune, while waiting for him to lash out at her – his soul blazing behind his gaze, like a fire giving just the right amount of warmth. It had almost died, the flames extinguished as he went under the gun of guilt, shame, and regret.
She needed to see that man again. Needed that connection.
Needed.
Rey shot up, crossing her legs as her stare bounced between the islands that jutted forth from their place amongst the sea. Kylo was not the only thing on her mind. Being back on Jakku, even if it had been an illusion, had brought up memories.
She thought of the data chips she'd found while scavenging through the salvage yards on Jakku. She uploaded them onto the computer she'd built, most of the parts coming from a Y-wing Starfighter, the operation system allowing her to get lost in a hero's adventures. It was always a special day when she could escape her reality and pretend she was someone else.
There was also the time where she had learned about how a man and woman could come to care for one another. The holo-novels she had found were described as being romantic in summary, and Rey would sometimes dream of having that same companionship, like the couples had in their stories. She would sit atop her metal home and daydream of a man coming to Jakku to rescue her from her meaningless life.
But her hopes had quickly become jaded.
Dreams were for naïve children. Rey didn't have the luxury of remaining a child. She had to grow up and rely on herself. Survive. She hadn't thought back on those senseless stories for a long time.
Until now.
A man had stood before her and gazed at her so tenderly, that she almost felt like that young girl again.
A man, she thought to herself. The wrong man.
Guilt threatened to drown her in its unseeing depths. She shouldn't think of that beast in any other way except as an enemy. If she didn't, she wasn't sure if she could kill him.
And then she realized she had told him she couldn't.
Rey interlaced her fingers into her hair, gazing at the grass beneath her, disbelief spreading across her face.
Why? Why was I so honest with him? Why did I tell him he knew me better than anyone else? What was wrong with me?!
She had let her anger loose and projected it right at him, not thinking of the consequences. And he'd just stood there, patiently letting her. She had a hunch that patience was not a virtue he possessed, but with her in that moment, he somehow had.
"There is no possible way you could hate me more than I hate myself," he had said.
Rey's mind raced with possible explanations over his last statement to her, but was suddenly interrupted by a penetrating pain in her right hand that shot up her arm. She clutched the limb against her body as an onslaught of agony kept pounding against it. Her mouth opened to let out a scream, but her lungs constricted, not allowing her to breathe. Something hard hit her head and she fell onto the ground in a fetal position.
An attack, Rey thought in a daze. As she tried to focus on fighting back, the pain disappeared as if it never happened.
She gasped for air and sprang to her feet, whirling around to identify the attacker.
She was alone.
Rey examined her knuckles, expecting the skin to be gone. There wasn't even a mark. Her head had felt like someone had rammed it against a wall, but now the throbbing had vanished.
Am I going crazy?
None of this was making sense to her. Right when she thought she'd figured out her life, some unforeseen power changed the rules.
A shiver ran up her body as a winding gust of wind whirled around her, strands of her hair twisting with the movement, her eyelids closing as she took in a deep breath.
Then, a whisper: "Rey."
Rey spun around, startled, trying to find who it belonged to.
"Who's there?"
No reply.
Could the breeze be playing tricks on me?
"Rey." The voice was louder now, a girl, almost familiar.
Rey rushed up the closest hill, allowing her a wider view of the island. No one was there.
Maybe if I can sense her, I can find her…
Her eyes closed and she calmed her breathing. She envisioned the island, all the rocks and hills that she'd seen moments before. Slowly, she could feel its ambience as she centered herself in its energy, her mind gliding over the terrain, searching.
She only felt Chewie.
Rey lowered her head in disappointment.
Interesting she hadn't sensed Luke on the island. Could he somehow block other's from sensing him? She wondered where he was, and then–
Oh no. What time is it?
Rey sprinted down the hill, heading to where she last left Luke, hoping he wouldn't be aggravated with her.
As her boots crashed against the ground and the vibrations ran up her legs, she contemplated if she should tell Luke about her dream. Everything that happened between her and Kylo was extremely private and unexpected. She couldn't deny that she was drawn to that man, but she didn't want Luke to look at her with disappointment over how she'd acted.
There was also the complication of Kylo being Luke's nephew and the tumultuous past they shared.
Kylo's statement returned to her mind. If he truly regrets what he's done, is there a chance he could be saved? Should I tell Luke of this possibility?
The thing was, Rey wasn't even sure Luke wanted to save his nephew. When she woke from her nightmare on the Falcon, he made it seem like Kylo was a lost cause. Part of her had believed that as well. But after the dream she just had, her resolve was faltering. And fast.
The man that touched her cheek had to have been Ben Solo, and he was buried beneath the contentious animal of Kylo Ren.
She could see Luke on the boulder in the distance, his head turning toward her as he waved for her to come to him. She needed to make a decision quickly, but her mind kept jumping back and forth between her two choices. She slowed down to a walk, trying to take her time so she could think.
Luke stepped down from his meditation rock and went to her, his face furrowed with confusion. "Are you alright?" he asked as they closed the gap between them.
"Yes. Why?" Rey was exceedingly nervous. She was sure her master could feel her unease.
"I can't feel your presence. It's like... you're hidden from me." Rey blinked, bewildered. The Jedi Master's stare bore into her, searching for the answer on her face. The intensity of his eyes started to make her uncomfortable.
"I don't think I'm doing anything," Rey said. "I don't even know how to hide myself in that way. I... I was actually thinking about asking you to teach me how to do that while I was walking back here." He was listening to her words, but his eyes seemed far away, as if he were looking beyond her small frame.
"I can't read you, even though you're right in front of me. I've never had a student learn this without being taught first." He paused and slid his hand through his beard. "Except Ben." Rey's heart skipped a beat from hearing that name, but her outside appearance didn't show her sudden alarm.
"Is there a reason you're hiding your feelings from me?" he asked. "Did something happen while you were meditating?" His eyebrow lifted with the question as he looked at her sternly. This was the moment Rey had to make a choice of either to tell the truth, or lie. Both would have consequences, but she was willing to face the outcome.
The answer came out of her mouth before she could stop it.
"No. I really don't know how I'm doing it. And nothing happened while I was meditating, except feeling connected to the island." She tried to put as much innocence into her response as she possibly could. Luke nodded. She couldn't tell if he was buying into her story or not. There hadn't been many opportunities to sharpen her dexterity in deceit while living on Jakku. Thankfully, he didn't press her any further on the subject. After all, she was a novice when it came to knowing the ways of the Force, and Luke knew she wouldn't be able to answer his more advanced questions.
"I guess I shouldn't be completely surprised," he commented. "You seem to pick things up very quickly, even if the skill is advanced." She agreed, but sensed that Luke was going to ponder on this matter some more. He didn't seem like the type of person who would believe in coincidences or luck. To him, everything must have a purpose to the larger game at play.
Her nerves dissipated as they walked back to the huts. She listened to him as he described how they would train with the lightsaber's that afternoon. Well, she would train with a heavy wooden staff first, and then graduate to a lightsaber. It was irksome since she'd already fought with a saber and had beat her opponent, who'd been twice her size.
This train of thought brought Kylo Ren back to the forefront of her mind.
"Rey?"
She glanced at the man beside her.
"Yes?" She'd completely tuned out the Jedi Master, not realizing he'd been speaking to her.
"The wooden staves are in the hut at the very bottom. Grab them for us and meet me in the clearing to the west."
"Yes, Master Skywalker." She left Luke at his own personal shelter and continued to walk down the steps.
Pay attention, Rey. If you keep acting flustered, he'll know something isn't right, she inwardly scolded herself.
She had made the choice to keep the truth from Luke. There had to be a reason she was sharing dreams with Kylo and hearing voices in the wind. She just wasn't ready to tell him about those experiences until she could give him answers.
It was as simple as that.
Except... that was a lie. Between the crevice of her denial and self-assurance sat the main reason she wanted to tell no one about her dreams: she craved to be with the man who caressed her cheek. Something about him just felt so right to her, so... good.
The foreboding feeling of guilt pried its way into her emotions, trying to punish her for yearning for that monster. She shut it out. That reaction wouldn't help her with the route her plans were taking. She couldn't reject having seen the light he still had inside him. There had to be some sliver of a conscience still left in that man, hidden beneath the layers of his sins.
And Rey was becoming more and more hell bent on finding it.
Her eyes adjusted to the inside of the brick hut as she grabbed the wooden rods. She'd been looking forward to this part of the training ever since she made the decision to pursue the path of the Jedi. But now, she found herself anxious to sleep.
She would search for Ben Solo in her dreams tonight, but to do that, she would first have to confront Kylo Ren.
()()()()()
The sun peeked over the horizon, painting the desert landscape in shades of red and white. Kylo stepped down the platform of his ship and squinted in the direction of Niima Outpost. He needed to find the person who reported seeing the BB unit a couple weeks ago. No one at the Finalizer's comms station new the man's name, so Kylo decided to start with finding whoever ran the backwater outpost.
He pulled the hood of his dark, brown cloak over his head as he passed between two metal columns. There were remnants of red metal debris scattered throughout the sand, indicating a battle of some sort. Numerous workstation tents were staked into the region, mainly cluttered straight ahead in the middle of the sandy vicinity. Big, gaping holes were carved into some areas of the outpost's uneven ground, evidence that the the First Order had been there recently. But still, the desert dwellers had put their work tents back up, ignoring the damage so they could get back to their meaningless lives.
The sun's rays were already beginning to warm Kylo's clothes, but the lightweight and breathability of the beige material prevented him from becoming too hot. He had requested pants and long sleeve tunics so the sun wouldn't touch his skin. It didn't matter what star system he was in; the many different gaseous stars had never been kind to his naturally pale complexion.
And showing too much skin was a vulnerability to those with prying eyes.
Kylo made his way to the biggest tent in the outpost, located in the middle of the working village. If anyone actually ran the remote outpost, it would be from the shelter that had the best view over the marketplace. He glanced at the sad excuses of people that were already working under the other tents, the torn canvases and cloth held aloft with rusted poles. Some looked to be scrubbing pieces of metallic junk, others seemed to be building or fixing big chunks of electrical hardware.
Kylo wasn't exactly sure what these repulsive creatures did here, and he really didn't care.
Once inside the wide shelter, he noticed fragments of scrap metal and engines strewed across the dusty vicinity. Placed in the center was a part of an old cargo crawler, with a window and countertop for trading goods. The only entity Kylo could sense was a creature behind the metal walls ahead. He headed straight for the open slot in the wall.
The opening was abnormally high, but Ren had no problem peering into the foul smelling hovel. He looked around the dark inside, not seeing anyone, only noticing the security monitor that showed him standing at the window. He knew from the flashing red light on the dashboard below that it was recording. He waved his hand and switched the recorder off.
The metal wiring in the window prevented him from leaning over the counter, so he delved into the creature's sleeping mind. He violently nudged the humanoid awake, hearing him yell from underneath the metal worktop. The alien jump up, staring at Kylo with annoyance.
A Kyuzo. Interesting. These barbarians were known to run among many different criminal enterprises throughout the galaxy and tended to be well trained with blaster rifles. Some people would find their pink skin, scrunched up faces, and large yellow eyes intimidating, but Kylo didn't fall under that category.
"What do you want?" the Kyuzo yapped, placing his hands on the counter, not far from Kylo's reach.
Kylo's tone was even as he eyed the grotesque creature from beneath his cloak's hood. "Who runs this outpost?"
"Who's askin'?"
Kylo clenched his jaw in frustration while seriously considering other, more torturous methods to getting the answers he sought.
"You don't look like you're from around here," the Kyuzo pointed out, eyeing him suspiciously.
Kylo's right hand shot forward, grabbing the cretin's wrist as his hood fell back to reveal his scarred face. He pulled him closer, reached under the wires, and viciously grasped onto the creature's head. A sickening thud resonated throughout the tent as Ren smashed the alien's temple against the tarnished metal counter.
It hadn't been his intention to go into the fiend's mind, but sometimes, Kylo couldn't control himself when he became irate.
He searched through only the most recent memories until he came upon a name that made him pause. "Unkar Plutt," he whispered to the open air. Instantly, he registered the name to the humanoid who tried to sell the scavenger into slavery. He dug for an image of Plutt so he could confirm his appearance. As he pushed further into the Kyuzo's memories, he could hear the thing begging for mercy from the piercing pain. The pleas fell on deaf ears.
Kylo's search halted upon a memory. A big, sickening creature stood inside the metal shack, the Crolute trading with the scavengers that worked the area. Kylo ignored their dealings. He recognized the Crolute, riddled with rolls of fat.
Unkar Plutt. The one who took the girl as a child.
He ran the outpost.
Kylo was about to withdraw from the Kyuzo's mind, but hesitated when he heard the strong voice of a young girl.
Her.
His focus was propelled to the sound as he saw the young scavenger. Her face and body were at the beginning stages of puberty, but her eyes had aged years beyond her youth.
Kylo could feel the Kyuzo's psyche start to fracture under his intense probing. He kept going. It wouldn't be the first time he'd broken a person's mind, nor the last. It wasn't his fault they were all so weak minded. And there was no way in hell he would let an opportunity like this pass him by.
He searched and searched, feeling the creature shaking under his hold. Finally he saw it – an AT-AT that resided to the east of Niima Outpost, near the Graveyard of Ships. The Kyuzo's mind confirmed that was the home of the scavenger.
Kylo removed his presence from the thug's unstable mind, bringing his face closer to the wired divide, demanding to know the location of his boss.
"I don't know," the Kyuzo said through labored breathing. Kylo let go of the cretin's wrist and grasped onto the other side of its head. He wrenched the creature's torso through the opening under the wires and raised it so the Kyuzo could look straight at Kylo's monstrous face. Snot and tears streamed down the Kyuzo's face, his horror more than tangible through the Force.
Kylo took in the fear, relishing it, becoming intoxicated by it. The thug tried to push himself away, but he was too weak and overpowered to gain any ground.
"You're lying," Kylo breathed the comment across the prisoner's face, slamming it straight down onto the counter. The skin broke open on the Kyuzo's flat nose, blood splattering on the hard surface, mixing in with the rust.
Kylo lifted the head back up to his. "Where's Unkar Plutt? And you should consider what will happen if you lie to me again."
The creature gurgled every time he tried to breath, his eyes teetering on becoming unfocused, but he was lucid enough to give an answer. "He's off world, getting a new arm... and negotiating a trade deal. He won't be back... till tomorrow."
Tomorrow!
Kylo snarled and plunged into the Kyuzo's mind as he compressed the creature's head between his hands. He poured all of his rage, disappointment, and brutality into the weak psyche until he felt something pop under the pressure. The alien started to violently seize and foam at the mouth as Kylo released his hold on him. The creature's body slid across the flat metal surface, falling to the floor, thrashing uncontrollably.
Kylo had shattered the thug's mind, but he wasn't dead.
Well, as long as he wakes up, he won't die.
And if he did wake, he would never have the same mental capabilities again.
Kylo hoped the Kyuzo would only be mentally defected. That way, Plutt could see what happened to one of his men. Death was not uncommon around this forsaken place, but what Kylo just did to the creature would scare and confuse those who knew the Kyuzo. People don't just suddenly become insane without cause.
Plutt can see for himself what awaits him.
Kylo exited the tent, not bothering to pull his hood back over his head. Hiding himself seemed to be the last thing on his mind.
Something warm and liquid slid down his right fingers. He brought his hand up to view, seeing he had reopened the wound on his knuckles. At the moment, there was nothing he could do to stop the bleeding. For such a small injury, he didn't want to waste the energy of healing it. He lowered his arm and let the blood drip and boil on the hot sand.
He sensed numerous pairs of eyes following him and felt their palpable fear, but he kept walking brusquely back to his ship. No doubt a few of them had witnessed or heard some of what he'd done to the Kyuzo. They had been wise not to interfere.
Once inside the ship, Kylo wrapped his hand in a bandage before going to the launch controls. He was anxious to visit the scavenger's home, to see how she lived. He justified this side adventure by telling himself he had nothing to do till Plutt returned to the planet.
Alone, he reviewed the recent events. He knew he didn't personally have anything against the Crolute, but he couldn't stop thinking about how he tried to sell the scavenger off as a slave. His thoughts wondered to the memory of him finding those women and children chained up to that cave wall….
No, he reprimanded himself. Those memories belonged to the naïve boy you destroyed. He's gone. His past doesn't matter to your future.
As he contemplated his last statement, he knew it was not completely true. That momentous day in the cave had pushed him to leave Skywalker and find the First Order, but he still didn't like to acknowledge what had happened.
He buried that memory whenever it threatened to resurface from the depths of his past life. But every time he did, he forgot how shallow the grave actually was.
()()()()()
Kylo ambled over to the hatch on the under belly of the AT-AT and swung it open. It was dark and musty inside, but he had sensed that it was empty the moment he saw it from the ship's viewport. He had to hunch over to make his way through the short tunnel that opened to the inside, his eyes taking in the dimly lit living space as he stood to his full height. He'd never been inside an All Terrain Armored Transport before, but he had studied pictures and diagrams of their inner mechanisms and weaponry.
The inside was smaller than he thought it would be, but still large enough to fit him comfortably.
His head turned to the right, examining the hammock and shelving that held the numerous metal canisters and pans. He strolled up to the metal shelving, picking up what seemed to be a makeshift doll. It was dressed in an orange material with a beige vest stitched across the chest. Moving to the left, doll still in hand, he saw the helmet of a rebel pilot on the ground next to a stove.
She would idolize the Rebellion, he scoffed inwardly.
However, Kylo knew that wasn't the only reason the girl had made the doll and kept the helmet. Both things represented pilots, and pilots could go anywhere in the galaxy. They had the freedom she desired, but was too afraid to obtain.
He remembered being in her mind and learning that her refusal to leave the desert planet stemmed from the belief that her family would return for her. But he could sense the denial behind her thoughts. Deep down, she'd always known the truth.
Her family was gone.
He gazed past her small table and raised his eyes to the wall at the back of the room. He was mindful to raise his legs over the steel columns, watching his step as he came upon the blemished wall. The farther he ventured inside the AT-AT, the cooler the air became. Kylo recalled that a certain metal alloy had been used in the makeup of the AT-AT's, so drastic changes in temperature would not affect those inside.
Smart of her to make her home here.
His eyes roamed over the thousands of tick marks as his fingers stroked the rough, steel wall. She had made them. One for every day she was there. Kylo was astounded by the sheer number of the scratches. That she kept doing it for what seemed like years.
What a torturous existence, waiting for someone to come liberate you from a living nightmare.
Pity was not an emotion he liked to feel. Especially since it was for the girl he was hunting.
A distinct humming noise came from outside, catching his attention. It was an engine, but not one that belonged to a ship. It was distant at first, but was quickly coming closer. A speeder.
He stood still, waiting to hear if it would glide past or stop at the sunken AT-AT. He knew the Pilgrims Road wasn't far from here, but it still struck him as odd that an individual was taking a more unpredictable course.
The speeder was closer now, coming in his direction. He felt his lightsaber sticking into his back where it was held with his belt. His hand pushed under his cloak and grasped the saber hilt as his body pressed up against the front entrance wall. His broad frame was working against him as he tried to conceal himself behind a steel column.
The speeder's engine idled outside for a few seconds before being turned off. He detected an edge of concern from the individual who was now walking to the entrance.
Not a very common emotion out here, he thought curiously.
"Rey?" A gravelly, feminine voice called into the AT-AT. Steps echoed off the hard walls as a female Aqualish strode into the living area. The alien had four small round eyes, three-fingered hands, and pink tusks covering her mouth. Most Aqualish's had smooth green skin, but this one had fur lining her face and covering her hands. By the tone of her voice and the wrinkles on her flesh, Kylo could tell she was of an older age.
He peered at the Aqualish who was now scanning the room, failing to perceive his presence. She started to come towards the back, right in his direction, and he knew it was a matter of seconds before she found him. He took a step away from the wall to let himself be seen. The Aqualish jumped in fright, letting out a stream of curses in her own native language.
Her eyes swept over Kylo's appearance, trying to stand tall as to match his dominating stature.
Kylo unclasped his hand from the saber, letting his arms hang at his sides. He didn't sense any immediate threats from the Aqualish, and he noticed she still hadn't gone for the blaster strapped to her leg. He decided to follow her cues on whether or not the confrontation would end violently.
"No one who is from here has pale skin like yours. Who are you?" she asked.
"I'm not anyone important." He didn't feel like lying about who he was, and he was definitely not going to tell her the truth of his identity. Hopefully the answer he gave would be enough to the quell her curiosity.
"You seem to carry yourself like you are," she countered back, but Kylo kept quiet, trying to control his irritation.
"Where's Rey?" Her four eyes were filled with suspicion. At least, that's what it looked like to Kylo. He didn't deal with a lot of four-eyed creatures.
"I don't know," he answered coolly.
"Why are you here?"
"I'm looking for her." His face revealed no emotion as he spoke, and the Aqualish became more and more visibly frustrated. "Why did you come here?" he asked. The creature continued to stare at him in silence. Kylo wondered if he would have to break into yet another persons mind today. He was slightly disappointed when she answered him.
"I was at Niima Outpost, heard what happened there a week ago. Rey was somehow involved." Her four eyes wondered over the inside of the metal hovel as she revealed to him the reasons for seeking out the scavenger. "I heard she stole the Blobfish's Corellian Freighter." A light laugh leaked out of the Aqualish's mouth and she smiled at the thought of Plutt being cheated out of one of his most prized ships.
Kylo knew the specific Corellian Freighter she was speaking of. A set of unwelcome emotions climbed up inside of him. He focused on staying in the present as he asked the Aqualish more questions about the girl. "You were friends with her?"
She chuckled at his question. "You don't really have friends out here, but I did look out for her from time to time. I taught her some of the basics of scavengin' and hired her for work. She quickly became so good at her job, she didn't need me anymore. She's Unkar Plutt's best scavenger."
"And yet, he still tried to sell her off to someone." Kylo didn't hide his disgust over his statement.
The Aqualish seemed to visibly relax from seeing how repulsed he was over his assertion. It was a feeling they mutually shared over the abhorrent situation Rey had faced when she was younger.
"I know what incident you're speakin' of." The Aqualish scooted over to a beam running across the floor and sat down to relax her tired muscles. "Rey was about thirteen and by human standards, turnin' into a young women. The Blobfish knew he could get a lot of money out of sellin' such a ripe, young girl to the right buyer. And he found one too. But when Unkar's thugs came to take her, she beat 'em near to death with her quarter staff." The Aqualish's tone held admiration for the girl. Her hands rested on her knees while she leaned toward Kylo, piercing her eyes into his. "She then brought Unkar a few blaster cannons to trade so the deal would be severed with the man who wanted her. She even told him there would be more weapons in store for him, but he would never be able to find 'em if she were to be shipped off planet. Unkar cut off the deal and let the girl be. Even warned the other scavengers not to go near her, since she was now his most valuable worker. None of 'em needed the warnin' though. All of 'em were afraid of Rey after seein' what she did to his thugs."
Kylo couldn't help but respect the girl for her strength and perseverance. She solved her own problem without anyone's help, all the while training herself to be an expert with a quarterstaff. She knew that in order to be left alone, she needed others to view her as a threat. Those qualities demanded acclaim. Kylo was willing to give her that, at least.
The Aqualish was obviously very fond of the girl by how she spoke and smiled. He realized that even though the scavenger was left on this planet, all alone, she still had the closest thing to a friend than he ever had. None of the kids wanted to be around him once he started showing his strength in the Force at a young age. They all found out that he had the affinity of the Force, and were afraid and confused that he wasn't off training with his uncle to be a Jedi.
He had found ways to get payback without the other kids knowing it. He always had a particular gift at being mischievous and hiding in the shadows. Even at the academy, the other students kept their distance, whispering among themselves of how awkward and unstable he was. They thought he couldn't hear them, but he could always feel their emotions and perceive their thoughts. Even thinking about his Knights being friends almost made him laugh out in the open. They all had their own agendas, only recognizing him as their master because the Supreme Leader told them to.
Kylo knew they held a lot of animosity toward him for being placed at the head of the Knights of Ren.
But here was this girl, left on a harsh planet with dangerous people, and she still found someone who treated her with kindness. He'd dreamed about being on the receiving end of such generosity, but was never shown it from his peers. They had judged and sentenced him to a cynical life without a second thought. So he learned to embrace their fear and use it to become more powerful.
Now, inflicting terror into his victims was an addiction he did not wish to cure.
Kylo was brought out of his reverie as the Aqualish stood and brushed off the desert rags covering her body. "I should be goin', and so should you. A sandstorm is headed this way. Could be a big one." She stepped over the beam and headed to the exit. She grasped onto the rail lining and paused to look back at him. "When you find Rey, tell her that Mashra hopes she finds where she belongs. That girl always did look to the stars too much." Her last statement floated in the air as she left the AT-AT.
Kylo remained still for a few moments after he heard Mashra leave on her speeder. He was digesting everything she had said, his emotions jumbling from comparing his childhood to the girl's upbringing on the desert planet. Slowly, his eyes glanced over the scavenger's minuscule belongings, noticing he was still clutching the rebel doll in his hand. The noise of the sand scratching against the outside of the AT-AT filled the metal box as he made his way over to a bundle of dead flowers situated in a clear cup on the table.
He touched one of the withered petals and watched it fall onto the metal table, now dead and alone.