Ch. 10- Master Caesar Clown
One Piece © Oda
Blizzard, Aika, Kumi, and Jupiter © Me
As G-5 hid inside the icy caves to recuperate, Tashigi suddenly remembered something she heard from the records: something about this particular stretch of sea.
"If memory serves me correctly," Tashigi began, "then this stretch of sea…has suffered multiple child abductions in recent years."
"Abductions?!" the G-5 soldiers questioned.
"Cap'n, we can't get used to you looking like that!" one of them complained.
"I'm sorry, but I can't help it!" Tashigi said. "You'll just have to deal with until I get back in my own body!"
"What the hell is going on, Tashigi?" Smoker asked. "I've never head of any child abductions."
"Smoker, please button up my shirt!" Tashigi cried, embarrassed at Smoker partially revealing her chest.
"While I do like the Cap'n looking more 'open' like this," said one of the G-5 Marines, "her personality's way too scary, now!"
"I agree," said another.
"I've heard of the reports of occasional shipwrecks at sea here," said one more, "but that's it! I guess I have been under the impression that lots of kids die in the area."
"Yeah, me too!" agreed another. "Lots and lots of dead kids!"
"Well, I've been in an out of the communications department," Tashigi said, poking the side of Smoker's face, "and I found out that G-5 receives a large number of child abduction reports…oh, wait, that's right. I'm not wearing glasses. Anyway, by the time that information makes it into news articles, they're always changed to shipwrecks, acts of piracy, disappearances, and so on. Of course, I'm not discounting the possibility that the initial reports were incorrect! But…there's always a chance, however slight…that…well-"
"Quit beating around the bush, Tashigi!" Smoker barked. "Is that your hunch?! If so, spit it out already! You're saying, based on the number of kids we saw, that the initial reports of child abductions were the truth, am I right? And the ones responsible are here on this island. But…if that's true, then it follows that the articles making their out into the world are lies, which means that someone in G-5…is covering the truth about children being taken from their homes!"
This made the G-5 soldiers shout out in anger.
"Y-you think these kidnappers have a mole in G-5?!" questioned one of them.
"You better watch your mouth, Smokey!" shouted another. "You're treading dangerous waters, there! We might be a ragtag band of ruffians, but we G-5 men have at least the bare minimum of pride and honor that we need!"
"SHUT YOUR MOUTHS, YOU BUNCH OF HOOLIGANS!" Smoker snapped, causing the G-5 Marines to yelp in fear. "You dumb-asses don't even have half the brains for me to suspect you in the first place!"
"What?!" the G-5 soldiers questioned in surprise.
"On top of that, you guys have got some weird illusions about the Marines!" Smoker added. "As long as man joins together, only to conspire against man…then there is no such thing as a 'perfect, untainted' organization! Assumptions will let the real enemy walk free! Don't be deceived by appearances!"
Hearing this made the G-5 men gasp in shock.
"Y…YES, CAP'N!" they all shouted, saluting.
"…You know what?" Smoker asked, exasperated. "Forget it."
"Umm…I'm the Captain," Tashigi reminded.
"AAAAH!" the soldiers cried. "We were deceived by appearances!"
"But Smoker," Tashigi said, "I'm not totally sure that I have it right!"
"Don't worry about it," said Smoker. "It's worth keeping in mind. Either way…Trafalgar Law has control of both my heart and my body. We can't leave this place for the time being. A third of you men should take a ship and report this."
"But Vice-Admiral!" cried a soldier. "The ship's been sliced-and-diced, remember?! We can't-"
"Didn't I mention that they have ship?!" Smoker asked. "If that's the case, go and steal it then!"
"Oh, yeah!" said another soldier. "I forgot about that! Jeez, dude! You're evil!"
"But I'd be careful if I were you," Smoker advised. "I'm gonna take my heart and body back before this whole thing gets blown out of proportion…so I can expose whoever's behind what's happening on this island!"
XXX
Meanwhile, back in what was formerly Dr. Vegapunk's laboratory…
"We finally got through," said Caesar, who put the receiver of a Transponder Snail back on its shell. "We've got permission to kill the Straw Hat Pirates, G-5...and 'Foxfire' Kin'emon. If anyone dies on the island…then Joker will ensure that it gets chalked up to another 'accident' in the area, as so often happens! Shulololololo…! Take anyone alive that you can manage. The more experiment subjects, the better!"
"Yes, Master!" said three guards.
"And if any of them try to resist," Caesar began, "go ahead and poison them. Now then…where are Law and Jupiter?"
"He left the room, already," said Monet, who is scribbling on a notepad while wearing glasses with spiral lenses.
"…Fine then," said Caesar. "Our enemy is worth 400 million. Don't get in over your heads."
"And after him, they range from 120 million down to a mere 50," said Monet. "Every member of the crew has a bounty, and together, they're worth 800,350,050 Berries. However, they've been quiet over the past 2 years with no resulting bounty increases. They could be even tougher than the numbers suggests."
"…Shulolololo," Caesar snickered. "As always, your diligence is appreciated, Monet."
"MASTER!"
Caesar looked up and saw one of Brownbeard's men, a Horse Centaur, staggering in, looking half-frozen!
"Oh, dear!" Caesar cried. "What happened to you?! Were you out in the cold without a coat?!"
"It was stolen by the Straw Hats!" the Horse Centaur cried. "And more importantly, our boss, Brownbeard, got captured! Please, Master, I beg you! You have to save him!"
"Of course, I will, my friend," Caesar said. "Don't you worry your head about Brownbeard. I will see to his rescue, immediately, I assure you! As for you, you must get into the back room, at once!"
"M-Master?" the Horse Centaur asked.
"You're very fortunate, my friend," Caesar said. "I have concocted a brand new medicine for you! It will warm your body and heal your injuries, quick as a flash!"
(A/N: Screw you, Caesar, you lying horse's ass.)
"Really?" the Horse Centaur asked, relieved. "Thank you…please, see to the others as well."
"Of course, of course!" Caesar reassured before he began to lead the Centaur away. "But you, first. Now then…this way, please…"
XXX
Back with the Straw Hats…
"Hey, Usopp! What's the big idea?! This is ruining Nami's good looks!"
"Well, we need SOMETHING to tell you guys apart!"
Usopp had made some masks for the jumbled-up members so now, someone could tell who's who.
"Now this is SUPER!" Franky exclaimed.
"You know what?" Nami asked, dismally. "I don't even care, anymore."
"It's okay, Nami," Luffy reassured. "I don't really care what you look like! You're still Nami on the inside!"
"Yeah, Luffy, but…right now, I don't really feel like myself," Nami said. "Thanks for trying to help, anyway, sweetheart."
"Shishishishi!" Luffy laughed before he gave Nami a hug. "I'd kiss you, but I'm afraid I might puke again."
"Understandable," Nami said.
"Thanks, Usopp!" Chopper said, sitting beside Blizzard, who is now being petted by the smaller children, not that he minded.
"No problem," Usopp said. "Now…about our little prisoner."
The Straw Hats and the kids turned to Brownbeard, who had been chained up to a steel pillar.
"What did you say your name was again?" Luffy asked.
"It's Brownbeard," Brownbeard replied.
"Brownbeard?" Luffy repeated.
"Yes!" Brownbeard exclaimed. "Surely, you have heard of my legendary exploits under that name!"
"Nope," Luffy answered, straightforwardly.
"WHAT?!" Brownbeard questioned. "How dare you!"
Aika sat in the corner with Kumi, away from the others, watching and listening.
"Earlier, you wouldn't tell us a word about," Zoro said. "What's this sudden change of heart?"
"WOHOHO!" Brownbeard. "You vagabonds will all be dead, soon. Law will surely come to save me! I HATE all those cheeky little pirates from your generation, but Law and his dog are the only good ones."
"What do you mean, 'our generation'?" Luffy asked.
"How can you not know that?!" Brownbeard questioned. "The entire group of at the Sabaody Archipelago, 2 years ago, the Eleven Supernovas, plus that infernal Blackbeard, are now known to the world at large as the 'Worst Generation'! Problem children born in the gap between the gap of one and the beginning of another, fated to bring chaos wherever they go! After the death of Whitebeard, they spilled into the New World, wreaking havoc left and right, at the center of every shocking incident or calamity, you'll find one of this generation's pirates! Blackbeard, Kidd, Law, Drake, Bonney, HAWKINS! It was that damn, detestable Basil Hawkins who split my Brownbeard Pirate Crew up, as well as cost me the use of my legs!"
'Damn,' Blizzard thought. 'Low blow.'
"My men and I suffered calamitous injury, barely escaping alive," Brownbeard continued, "and it was here, Punk Hazard, that we ended up on! Do you even know what this place IS?!"
"Uh…no," Nami answered.
"It was once a verdant treasure trove of sheer life," Brownbeard answered, "overgrown with lush greenery…"
"This place?!" Luffy questioned in disbelief.
"With an environment like this, it seems unlikely!" Blizzard added.
"You'd never guess from the looks of it," Zoro said.
"This was once a laboratory for the Government scientist, Dr. Vegapunk," Brownbeard revealed. "A place where he developed and tested all manner of weapons and chemicals. A number of prisoners were taken here instead of to that hellhole, Impel Down…to be guinea pigs in his cruel human experiments!"
Everyone gasped silently at this.
"But then, 4 years ago," Brownbeard began, "one of Vegapunk's chemical weapons tests went disastrously wrong…and two of the three labs were destroyed! What we stand in now was one of them!"
"Seriously?!" Nami questioned.
"No wonder it's in pieces like this!" Usopp added.
"The incredible heat and toxicity of the explosion wiped out all life on the island," Brownbeard went on. "The Government workers abandoned the test subject prisoners here, escaping with their own lives and sealing off the island. The surviving prisoners holed up inside the remaining lab in order to protect themselves from the toxic gas that smothered the island. Those who survived lost much of their lower body functions to the effects of the gas, leaving them with little to no hope for the future…but then, one year later…who should appear on this island…but our merciful Master?!"
"Master?" Brook repeated.
"With his special abilities," Brownbeard continued, "he was able to purify the island's gas, and with the power of science, provide the prisoners with new legs and welcome them as his new subordinates!"
"OOOH~! MASTER~!" Franky sobbed.
"MASTER~!" Chopper cried.
'Are you serious?' Blizzard thought. 'Something about this 'Master' guy spells 'shady' to me!'
"My surviving men and I arrived here the following year, which was two years ago," Brownbeard said. "There were still trace elements of toxin in the air, which made me sick to breathe. I didn't have the strength to survive and was preparing for the bitter end, when who should appear but those who had lost the use of their legs, as I had…and their Master!" As he said this, tears of joy began to form in the former pirate's eyes.
"Like them," he said, his voice breaking, "I was saved by Master's kindness! If Vegapunk was the Devil who stole the use of our legs…the Master is a kind and merciful god of salvation!"
"Yohohoho! Master~!" Brook sobbed, tears pouring out of his eye sockets while Robin chuckled a bit.
"Then, a few months ago," Brownbeard said, "our second savior arrived…in the form of Trafalgar Law, accompanied by his canine partner, Jupiter! Law used his powers to grant us entirely new legs to replace our useless! Legs from living animals! We had though that we would never walk again! Oh, how we cried with joy!"
"Ah, man!" Franky bawled. "What a tearjerker!"
"Master's so awesome!" Chopper sniffled.
"You see?" Luffy asked. "I knew Traffy was a good guy! He did save me, Blizzard, and Jimbei after all!"
"Well that doesn't make him a good guy in my eyes!" Blizzard argued. "Shady looking son of a bitch."
"I never knew Vegapunk was such a wicked man," Nami said.
"I guess those sheep-legged guys in the lab were his doing, as well," Sanji noted.
"And the Centaurs, and that Harpy I saw," Usopp added. "It all makes sense…but wait…what about that huge dragon?"
"Ah, so you saw the dragon, did you?" Brownbeard asked. "That is a creation of Vegapunk, an artificial life-form that guards this island. It can adapt to any environment. In fact, the Celestial Dragons like it so much, they even gave it a name…which I had forgotten. At any rate, run away if any of you encounter it, for it is very dangerous!"
"…Should we tell him we ate it?" Zoro asked, softly.
"SHH~!" Usopp shushed.
"So, now do you see who rules this island?" asked Brownbeard. "No one dares to venture close, which means Punk Hazard is the property of our dear Master! WOHOHOHO! Rejoice!"
By this time, Luffy had fallen asleep after listening to Brownbeard regale the Straw Hats of his "Master".
"The Master continues his research to this very day for the betterment of humanity's future!" Brownbeard exclaimed. "And you pirates have the honor of being some of the mere handful of test subjects that he needs for his great work! There is no escape for you! WOHOHOHOHO!"
Aika whimpered as she hid behind a piece of debris while Kumi growled in her throat.
It appeared that these two had different views on this "beloved Master" of Brownbeard's.
XXX
Meanwhile, at the laboratory, someone is heard banging on a steel door while screaming in agony. It is revealed to be the Horse Centaur from before. However…he has been locked inside a room that is filling with some sort of strange gas.
"Master! MASTER!" he screamed. "I-it huuuuurts!" He then began to cough, violently. "W-what kind of medicine is this?! L…let me…out…Master…!"
"Shulolololo! Just a bit longer!" Caesar's voice said through an intercom.
XXX
Caesar stood outside the chamber, scribbling on a notepad.
"Now then, how do you feel?" asked Caesar.
"BLEEEEAAGH! COFF, COFFF!"
"Ah…nausea…coughing," Caesar noted. "Good! Very good! Are you experiencing any headaches?"
"Y-yes…! A really bad one! I feel like my head is pounding!"
"Excellent! And your eyesight? Any hallucinations?"
"M-Master! Let me out of here! THERE'S…THERE'S A GIANT SNAKE SLITHERING AROUND IN HERE! IT'S GONNA SWALLOW ME ALIVE!"
"Shulololololo!" Caesar laughed. "No there isn't. Rest in peace, now…"
Click! He pushed a red button…and then, BOOM! A large explosion was heard…followed by an eerie silence.
"Not quite there, yet," Caesar said.
"Another failure, eh, Caesar?" asked Monet.
"Failure?!" Caesar questioned. "You watch your tongue, Monet! My experiments never fail! Not even my great work, four years ago! But even then, those incompetent fools continue to claim the opposite."
Caesar Clown, a former Government scientist with a 300 million Berry bounty on his head, is revealed to be a man wearing a big light blue coat with the word "GAS" written on both sides, and it swirled all around him, like it actually was gas. Under this coat, he wears a orange-and-yellow diagonally striped jumpsuit, which has been cut off below the knees, revealing his hairy legs. He also wears a pair of purple gloves with his initials, "CC" on them in white. However, do to his gaseous form, it looked like he wasn't wearing any shoes. His skin seems to be a pale white, and his hair is long, spiky, and black with two curled horns sticking out of it. He also wears what looks like purple lipstick or makeup of some kind.
"A failure?!" Caesar questioned. "My weapon succeeded in killing an entire island, and you dare to call it a failure, World Government?! I'm the deadliest man who ever lived! Shulolololo! And I've continued monitoring the state of my victims tirelessly from that point on! Just you wait…I'll show you who the greatest scientist in the world really is! Shulololololololo!"
XXX
Back with the Marines, Smoker has just revealed some shocking news.
"What?!" asked a soldier. "Are you serious, Smokey?!"
"That's right," said Smoker. "He's the one who caused the entire incident! It was Caesar Clown who built the weapon and set it off. He was the one #2 man in the Science Division, but he was also a cruel one, and he was constantly at odds with Vegapunk. As the Head Scientist, Vegapunk was held responsible for the accident, but that was the extent of it. Developing weapons of mass murder that spray toxic gas is a crime, of course. Caesar was apprehended, but with his powers…he was able to escape from the prison transport ship, and he hasn't been seen since. If Caesar really is continuing his research on this island to this day…then he has to be stopped before he unleashes something even worse!"
TO BE CONTINUED…
I HATE Caesar SO much. He is second on my most-hated on my most One Piece characters list.
Review, please!