Levi

"Don't tell me it's him? Don't tell me Eren-fucking-Jeager is the one who did this to you?"

Just a second ago, my mind had been brimming with one million different things I wanted to say, but now, it was all gone. What remained was yawning void in my head. I felt empty, especially with the way my heart had taken to leap into my mouth. Ridiculously enough, I felt the urge to laugh aloud, because let's be honest, what shitty luck must someone have to stumble headfirst into a situation like this? The shock over seeing Eren was still firmly edged into every fiber of my body—I couldn't believe he was really here, just a few feet away and heading straight in my direction. What I wanted to do was stare at him. Just forget Farlan who was frantically pulling on my arm and look at that stupidly gorgeous brunet who'd been my boyfriend just a week ago. It was a good thing the situation required me to act accordingly; otherwise, I'd have probably done just that. Now I only had to figure out how this acting accordingly thing worked and in preferably under one minute. With the way Eren was hustling over, I wouldn't have left much more time than that.

"Levi? Fuck, Levi, are you listening to me? Is he the one who did this to you?"

I snapped back to attention, my eyes reluctantly ungluing themselves from Eren and the way his lean body moved with fluid ease and flicking to Farlan's instead. He looked about ready to blow a fuse, maybe worse. The sight of his imploring expression prompted me think twice about giving the information he was asking for, but I couldn't exactly lie to him. After all, Eren was the one who'd done all of this to me; the reason why I was a far cry from my usual self.

I met Farlan's intent gaze and he knew. Not another word was necessary, the answer was right there in my eyes.

"Fuck," he breathed, blue eyes glazing over with a mix of shock and disbelief.

I guessed nobody who knew Eren and who knew me would have suspected we'd hook up. Ever. We were so different from each other that it seemed unlikely we'd ever so much as be in the same place at the same time. He was coveted hot stuff on the football team, whereas I was… well, I was "Levi, who?". In other words, not much more than a nobody compared to him. I wasn't salty or delusional about that. It was something I'd always known, and it was the reason why I couldn't be mad at Farlan, who was staring at me as if I'd just uttered the worst lie I'd ever told. "Levi!"

Oh, god. It was Eren. It was Eren, with that criminal voice of his. How in the world was that damned voice still able rock my core like the most profound natural disaster known to man? Why was his mere vicinity still affecting me so much? I lifted my head and then he was right there, his huge green eyes filling my vision, his scent sneaking into my nose and making my toes curl inside my sneakers. God, nothing had changed. Seven days spent wallowing in the pain of forgetting him and then it took a mere glance at him to void every second of it.

My breath hitched when I tried to speak his name and all that left my lips was a strangled groan. That was it, just a miserable groan. I couldn't speak. There were so many thoughts battling for the upper hand in my head, so many emotions, that it was impossible to put even one of them into comprehensible words. So what I ended up doing was revert back to my original plan: stare helplessly and fight the unmistakable familiarity being near Eren conjured within me.

"Levi, hey…" he whispered.

A part of him seemed just as shocked to see me out and about, but another part—a much larger part—looked positively thrilled to meet me here by chance. I recognized his excitement from every single time he came to pick me up after my shift; from every single time I turned up on his doorstep for another date. It was the most gorgeous sparkle in his eyes, a little glimmer that made them appear almost wet when the light touched them just right. Another telltale sign was the quivering of his bottom lip. It was not as if he'd cry any second, I'd learned, but the slightest shiver as a result of suppressing the huge grin wanting to part his full lips. He'd always lost that fight; his brilliant, panty-dropping-within-a-hot-minute grin winning out in the end. At one point, he'd told me he wanted to try not being so overenthusiastic whenever he laid eyes on me, because he'd read somewhere (probably a Cosmopolitan) that would only lead to me losing interest in him over time. He'd explained how he had to act a bit more manly, a tad more unattainable. He'd said it with so much conviction too, even as I'd pinned him down buck-naked beneath me, that I couldn't help but laugh in his face. The notion of him, of Eren Jeager, devising strategies to retain my interest had been just too funny at the time.

Now, it hurt to realize how well I knew him, even now, as if not a day had passed. As if not everything between us had irrevocably changed. I must have made another pained sound, because in a matter of seconds, Eren had closed the distance and reached out for me. Horrified, I stumbled back, my rear making contact with Farlan's chest. My friend's hands wrapped gently around my upper arms, steadying me, and I thanked him in silence because I wouldn't have known if I'd been able to stand on my own with Eren looking at me like he did, his face a picture of longing. "Don't you dare touch him," Farlan hissed at Eren, using his hold on my arms to put another few inches between him and us. He'd not risen his voice in the slightest, but as it turned out, that wasn't necessary. It sounded beyond lethal just the way it was.

I could only stare as Eren's gaze moved slowly and with obvious reluctance from my face to Farlan, who kept a protective arm around me.

"Farlan, right?" He said after a second. "Listen, please don't take this the wrong way, but this is between Levi and me. If you don't mind, I'd like a moment alone with him. All I want is a chance to talk."

"Talk?" Farlan spat, a humorless chuckle falling from his lips that ruffled he top of my hair. "You must be fucking kidding me, Jeager. In case you're too stupid to understand, you've forfeited the chance to talk to him when you broke his heart, asshole! Now get the fuck lost, or I swear to you, I'll make you."

I'd have expected a lot of emotions reflecting on Eren's face in response to Farlan's words—shock, disbelief, even rage. What I didn't expect was defeat. Acceptance. It seemed so oddly out of place on a face I knew to be tenacious enough to refuse any kind of surrender. For a terrible moment, I thought my body would betray me and reach out to smooth the lines of worry from his face, but much to my relief, I managed to keep my urges in check.

Eren's gaze dropped to the ground, his shoulders sagging in defeat. I wished I could make sense of his reaction, because to me, it appeared like he was weighed down by regret. Why would he feel that way? Because of me? Even when it was obvious he was over us?

"I know what you must be thinking of me," Eren whispered, his tone small and fragile. "I do. And I know I have no right to ask for anything, but I still am, because I need to. Levi, please... Just one minute. All I need is one minute of your time."

"Tch," Farlan huffed, blatant repulsion dripping from the single sound. "I can't believe you. What do you think this is, huh? Look at him! Look what you've done and then think again about what you just asked of him."

Eren didn't say anything. He didn't even look up, his eyes remaining fixed on the tips of his sneakers. Farlan was shaking with rage against me; I could feel his body heat seeping through my clothes. His grip around me tightened when he said, "Got nothing to say to that, huh? Who do you even think you are, coming up and talking to him? Aren't you ashamed of yourself? After everything you've done?"

A visible shudder seized Eren, his shoulders trembling. For a moment I thought he was going to cry right here in front of us.

Suddenly, Farlan pushed me behind him, taking a protective stance in front of me. And then he took a step forward and shoved Eren, hard. He stumbled back a couple of inches, but caught himself before he could fall. As for me, I couldn't seem to shake my stupor. All I could do was stare and hold my breath, a helpless bystander to what was unfolding in front of me.

"I asked you a question! If you have the balls to play someone who's obviously in love with you, then be a fucking man and own up to it!"

He shoved Eren again and that was apparently what was needed to light a spark of the fighting spirit I was used to. Before Farlan could push him again, Eren's hands came up to grab his wrists from the air, and tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. He used his grip on Farlan's arms to push him back in return, tearing a stunned gasp from his lips.

"I never played him!" Eren bit out through clenched teeth, his cheeks glowing with determination. "I fucked up, I know that, but that doesn't change the way I feel about him!" He sucked in a sharp breath. His eyes fluttered closed for all of one moment and upon reopening them, they were blazing with sincerity. "I-I… I love him."

Everything happened so fast after that, way too fast for me to speak up, much less intervene. As if in slow motion, I could only watch as Farlan's fist came up with breakneck speed. Even if it was horribly obvious what would happen next, my brain had trouble processing the visual material my eyes were providing. When my best friend's fist connected squarely with Eren's jaw, I screamed. At least I think I did, there were multiple sounds erupting from different mouths, though I was quite sure that scream was mine. Especially since I wanted to scream again when Eren stumbled backwards with a pained groan, one of his hands reaching up to clutch the side of his face.

"Don't you dare say that!" Farlan boomed, charging forward to shove Eren again. "Don't you fucking dare say you love him! Not when you have absolutely no right to."

Eren moved in a flash. Suddenly he was chest to chest with Farlan, his eyes spewing venom. An angry red bruise was already forming on the spot Farlan hit, but he didn't seem to feel the pain that had to radiate from the injury.

"You don't know a thing about how I feel!" he thundered. "Now back the fuck off!"

Farlan all but sneered at him before he grabbed Eren's shoulders and pushed him back with a force that audibly knocked the air out of him.

"You don't get to tell me when to back off, bastard! Don't you fucking get it? Levi doesn't want you!"

That did it. I gasped in shock as Eren pulled back his fist and returned the favor, clocking Farlan straight in the nose. Farlan staggered back, his hands shooting up to touch his face. When he pulled them back, his fingers were streaked red with blood. My stomach churned and I'd have covered my mouth to keep the bit I'd eaten earlier in my stomach where it belonged, when I realized I was already doing that. The shock had made me cover my face in an attempt to shield myself from the horrible spectacle of my ex and my best friend pummeling each other into the ground. There was a sick mix of anguish, surprise and regret washing over Eren's face. His hand was hanging helplessly in the air and when his lips opened, maybe to utter an apology—I'd never know—I realized that Farlan was getting ready to pounce again, and I snapped. Sensation flooded my numb senses, dissolving my stupor into nothingness and I was finally able to move again, to do something. Forcing my legs to stir, I grabbed Farlan's hand and pulled him behind me, effectively thwarting his plans to hurt Eren again.

"Stop it!" I cried, my brittle voice betraying my distress. My wide eyes moved from Eren to Farlan and back, and then I gave them both a shove. "What the hell is wrong with you two? Have you lost your damn minds?"

Much to my chagrin, we apparently weren't done yet. Those two idiots were still fuming with rage and shooting daggers at each other. Not even my attempt to interfere helped any in regards to taking the wind out of their sails.

"L-Levi…" Eren whispered, his face tilting up to me.

When he looked at me, the fury in his eyes dulled in a matter of seconds, making way to something warm and intimate that caused my heart to throb inside my chest. Once again, I was stunned, though not by any display of physical violence this time, but the mere look into those intense green eyes I'd loved to feel on every inch of my skin—once. Once. I'd have to fucking remember that; we were over. There was no more us, no more adoring looks or tender touches. All of that was done, and my primary goal now was to break up this stupid fight and go separate ways.

"Levi…" Eren started again, his hand rubbing the abused skin on his jaw. "If you don't want to hear me out, tell me. Just know that there's more to what happened a week ago and that there's so much I want to tell you. So much I need to say. But if it's over… If you're done with me, I understand. Just… tell me. I'll leave. I'll disappear from your life. Even if it's killing me, I will."

Disappear from my life.

Wasn't this what I wanted? To be free of him; of all the memories, all the feelings I was fighting on a regular basis?

Here was my chance to be free. My chance to tell him how much he'd hurt me and how badly I wanted him to vanish from my sights, forever. All I had to do was open my mouth and say it. Goddammit, why couldn't I form words? Why wasn't I able to make a sound?

"I—Eren, I—" I was running on pure instinct at this point. Whatever I wanted to say had no chance of making it out, though. Before I could finish my sentence, Farlan had wrapped a tight arm around my waist and turned us around, putting me back to my previous place behind him. He let me go, but only for one second. A moment later, his hands came down on my shoulders—hard—and shook me with a force that made my teeth chatter. His blue eyes bore into mine, their usual sky blue shade frozen down to pure ice. "Levi, don't listen to him! He's only trying to rope you back in, don't you see that? You can't trust a word he says! Don't forget he's broken your heart once, do you seriously want it to happen all over again?"

I couldn't think, couldn't talk. I couldn't even see straight. There was Eren, his eyes caught in a twist of hope and rage, shaking his head from side to side as if to tell me what Farlan was saying wasn't true. And then there was Farlan, who held me tight and looked at me, eyes filled with bottomless concern for my sake. I knew he wanted to protect me. He'd never do anything to hurt me, as opposed to Eren, who'd broken me in half and left me for dead. I was torn. I could cut Eren from my life, entirely, but now that the chance was laid out before me, only waiting for me to take it, I couldn't fathom never being able to see him again. His gorgeous eyes, his beautiful face, every tiny little thing I'd fallen in love with—I just couldn't let go. I wasn't ready, and god knew if I'd ever be. All I knew was that it wasn't going to happen today. I might not be delusional enough to trick myself into believing I wasn't still madly in love with this boy, but that didn't change the fact that I wouldn't forgive him for what he'd done to me. It was a painful in-between I couldn't get out of, not yet, and surely not as long as he was standing in front of me, begging for another chance.

"Far—"

"No! I won't stand by while he hurts you! I wasn't here the first time it happened, and trust me, I'll hate myself forever because of it, but I won't let it happen again. You might be in love with him, Levi, but he doesn't deserve you! He had one chance to treat you right and look how well he's handled that. He'll pay for what he did to you, so please, stay back. Please."

"Farlan, no!" I started screaming, and I didn't stop. Farlan turned around and smashed into Eren, this time using his entire body instead of his clenched fist. They crashed down on the ground in a pile of arms and legs and shouts, dealing blows and punches and kicks too quick for me to follow. And I? I had no better idea than to jump straight into the tangle of limbs. I didn't think. My sole goal was to do something to stop this madness and not stand idly by while the two of them were bashing their heads in. I knew both of them well enough to be certain nobody would be wise enough to give in first. Latching onto Eren's back—who'd somehow managed to get on top of Farlan in the struggle—I tried to ignore the bolt of electricity that went through my entire body as soon as my body touched his. God, how could I expect to break up an actual fight when I was distracted by the mere feeling of Eren's hot, sweaty body writhing beneath mine? "Fuck," I groaned, both from misplaced desire and unexpected exertion. It took way more strength to grab Eren by the arms and keep him from laying another punch on my best friend's face than I'd anticipated. He was strong and he was angry, and I was so much smaller compared to him. Not to mention frantic with fear. But that didn't deter my efforts. My nails scratched his skin as I held on, trying my hardest to pull him off an equally thrashing Farlan.

"Stop it, you bloody idiots!" I yelled desperately, but my voice was lost in the staccato of huffs and groans. Multiple punches were flying by my face. I managed to dodge a few, but took way more. My clothes tore when someone used them as leverage. Nails lapped at my skin. For the moment, I didn't feel the pain due to every cell in my body being charged with adrenaline. I would though, and soon.

Suddenly, I was dragged to the bottom of the pulsing heap. Someone's elbow connected with my face and I screamed as raw pain exploded over my cheek. My hands flew up to finger the throb in a vain attempt to soothe the ache away. I tasted the metallic flavor of blood in my mouth, on my teeth, and coughed viciously. Hot tears shot into my eyes and I rolled around into a fetal position to protect myself from any more potential strokes.

"Levi!"

I think that was Eren, shrieking my name, but I couldn't be entirely sure. Sounds and colors were swimming around me in a hazy fog, blurry and indecipherable. My head was pounding relentlessly and I felt as if I was going to be sick any minute from the combination of pain and blood.

Someone squatted next to me, touching my face with gentle hands and murmuring soothing words with lips that brushed against my ear every so often. I closed my eyes and tried to will the dizziness away, but to no avail. Maybe this was what fainting felt like. If that's what it was, it was probably a good thing to drop unconscious right now. Hopefully, this would turn out to be enough to get those two to finally quit their crazy brawl, while I could sleep myself back to health.

As it turned out, I wasn't blessed by falling unconscious. I laid there on the filthy ground, moaning as every single part of my body ached, and tried my best to focus on the voice murmuring sweet nothings to me.

"Goodness, Levi." A second pair of hands joined the first, gently examining my body for any serious injuries besides my throbbing face.

"Now you even hit him, as if the emotional anguish you're putting him through isn't enough!"

I must be on the road to recovery, because I could recognize this voice as Farlan's, which meant Eren was the one who was rubbing gentle circles across my cheekbones with the pads of his fingers. He knew me, knew what kind of effect it had on me. Anger curled around my insides, hard and scorching. I didn't want to be comforted by him, but he knew exactly how to do it anyway, even against my will. And so perfectly too, so good that I couldn't pull away even if I wanted to.

"Are you kidding me?" Eren shot back, his hands continuing their tender caresses. "You were the one who hit him with your damn elbow!"

"Oh, you would like that! I'd never hurt him, not even unconsciously! I don't believe you can say the same for yourself, now, can you?"

"When will you finally get that there's more to the story? I never meant to hurt him, so stop acting like this was all some elaborate ploy on my part!"

"Oh, come on! Levi here might be good-hearted enough to believe any of the bullshit you're spewing, but you're not fooling me for a second!"

"You have no idea how badly I want to punch you again right now," Eren snarled, bending over me.

"Why don't you try it then, Jeager?" Farlan taunted right back, leaning in as well. "I promise I won't go easy on you this time."

Within a second they were at each other's throat again, clutching at one another's shirts while they were bowing over my body.

"What the hell is going on here."

That voice was new, and deadly. As well as decidedly female. She didn't even phrase it as a question, more like a simple statement that commanded everyone's immediate attention. I managed to lift my head and squint in her direction, and then I recognized Mikasa, Eren's friend. She took a step into the struggle, grabbed both Eren and Farlan by the back of their shirts and pushed them apart with a force that left me with little more to do than gape at her. They looked ridiculous being held apart by Mikasa's arms, still swinging their fists uselessly at each other, and I wondered just how strong this girl was.

Mikasa looked from Eren to Farlan and back, her expression bordering on murderous. "Would one of you idiots care to explain why you're bashing away at each other?"

Nobody said anything. They just continued to fume in relative silence, mumbled expletives excluded.

"Fine. Eren?" She said, turning her gaze to him. "You told us you'd come over here to talk, not fight. What happened to that good resolution of yours?"

Eren shrugged. I couldn't help but give him credit for refraining to push the fault immediately onto Farlan, even though he'd been the one to throw the first punch.

"Oh, dear god!" A petite blonde boy came over to kneel beside me. "Are you okay?"

"Been better," I huffed miserably.

"Can you stand?"

I sure as hell didn't want to stand, much less if it entailed walking. But I didn't have much of a choice.

"Mhm." I tried to nod and groaned instead when a stiff pain seized my neck.

"Here, take my hand."

I gave the boy a grateful look and took his proffered hand, huffing as he pulled me to my feet. The world spun for a moment, but I focused on my breathing and managed to stay upright.

Mikasa was still going at those two idiots, who looked positively shamefaced by now, as well as bloody and bruised. We might have gotten off on the wrong foot with each other, but right now, I was glad for Eren's friends. Truth be told, I'd been far away from being capable to break up the fight by myself.

The blonde boy, Armin, I remembered, led me over to a wooden bench on the sidewalk and sat me down. He was just about to say something when an ear-splitting scream cut through the air. God, would this day ever end?

"Levi? Farlan? Oh my god, what the devil is going on? Have you been fighting?"

Isabel rushed over from the coffee shop, a cardboard tray filled with frappés in her hand. Faintly, I remembered that she'd made a mad dash for the café in her excitement over cool drinks earlier. She had no idea what had just transpired, and I for one was relieved she'd been spared from having to witness the mayhem.

"I get it, okay! You can let go now, I won't hit him again." Farlan said right then, shaking off Mikasa's grip. "At least not today," he grumbled under his breath as he came over to where I was sitting.

"What happened to you? Tell me right now!" Isabel cried, her eyes wide as she took in our mangled appearances.

"Later," Farlan snapped. "Can we just leave? If I have to see Jeager's face for another second, I can't make any guarantees regarding his wellbeing."

I got to my feet and nodded.

"Levi…" Eren whispered pleadingly, drawing my gaze despite the resistance I put up to fight the temptation.

"Not now."

Nobody was more surprised by my firm answer than I was. An insistent urge to take back the words sunk into me, but I forced it down. Now was neither the time nor the place for a talk with him. I had to get out of here, now.

Eren froze, his eyes glossing over at my adamant rejection. I wrenched myself from the sight of him, ignoring the squeeze around my heart to the best of my ability. Another moment in his presence and I'd cave in. I'd be a fool not to acknowledge that.

Farlan hobbled over and wrapped an arm around my middle, supporting me even though he was off far worse than me. I put my remaining strength in doing the same for him, giving Isabel an imploring gaze that had her swallow any more questions. Her mouth clamped shut and she hurried over to help me keep Farlan upright.

"Sorry," Isabel mumbled to no one in particular by ways of goodbye. I refused to look anywhere but my feet, concentrating on taking one careful step after the other. Nobody said anything, but I could feel three pair of eyes burning into my back.

We'd already put a fair distance between us and them when I felt a tingle emerging on my neck, causing every hair on my skin to stand on end. I didn't want to look back, and I knew that I shouldn't. But this could very well be the last time I saw Eren and for some utterly inexplicable reason, my body was forcing me to turn my head and look at him one more time before I disappeared. With agonizingly slow movements, I looked over my shoulder. It didn't matter how discrete I was trying to be, as soon as I did, my eyes met Eren's and I felt an electrifying shock zapping through me in response. His eyes were alight with emotion, and right then I knew that everything rushing through him in that moment—every last little thing—was rushing through me as well. It was as if we were connected by an invisible bond that allowed me to feel him, just as much as it let him feel me in return. The sensation was otherworldly and stunning and frankly, terrifying. It left me breathless and hopeful at the same time, and for one brief moment, I wondered if there was still a future for us. If giving him the chance to tell me what he'd wanted to say would've changed anything.

The life creeping back through the cracks in my heart wished I would try.