Thank you everyone for following, favoriting, and especially reviewing the story! I hold each and every review close to my heart and appreciate the time you take to let me know how you feel about the story! MaelsiC: A huge arc in the book is Rey understanding Ben better and the darkness that has always been a part of him. Ben will also struggle with with his light side since he has grown so comfortable in the dark. I can't really comment any further on those two things without giving stuff away! It will definitely be an adventure for them both. And I like writing a characters inner thoughts and feelings, not just the outer dialogue. So many things go on in a persons mind and I want you all, as readers, to understand why they do or say something in particular. nelli: Thanks for your dedication to reading the story over the course of five hours! I don't know if you read it straight through or took some breaks in between, but it just made me realize that I have written a lot so far. And I am not even half way done with the story yet! Sona: I am so glad you enjoy the story and the way I am writing it! I hope you keep liking it! HogwartsIsOurHome: Yeah! I am also a huge fan of TVD and that specific quote that Damon says has always stuck with me. I tried changing the quote around a bit, but it kept losing the impact I wanted. So, what the hell, I kept it the original way. I thought it was very fitting for Ren to use it. Fun little fact, I live in Salt Lake City and both Ian Somerhalder and Paul Wesley are going to be here for Comic Con! I am definitely getting a pic and autograph from them both! nelsonstewarta: I am glad you appreciate the pacing of the story because I sometimes worry that it might be to slow. I really like writing character development and I can't always do that if there is a battle happening every chapter or so. I am so happy to have a fan from New Zealand! Thank you! Guest: Rey's inner struggle with her feelings for Ben is so important to the story. So often, we make decisions in our lives and then second guess ourselves along the way. I thought it would be realistic to show this in Rey because Ben is not an easy person to stay with. Ben's arc also needs to be slow and believable and the same goes for their relationship. Can't really say what will happen to Luke and Leia... but I understand why you want them to live. Also, Ben being powerful was always something I planned on doing. He is a a descendant of the Skywalker line, after-all! And I think it's safe to say that Rey is NOT a Skywalker in this story. lol But she has her own tricks up her sleeve. When Ben thinks of Rey as his equal in every way, she really is. She just cant beat Ben's years of experience and knowledge in the Force right now.
Anyways, I can literally talk about this story all day but we should get to the chapter. Enjoy the read!
Chapter Sixteen
"I'm sorry, Finn, but you don't have access to go back there." A Resistance guard was holding Finn back from crossing the entryway into the containment facility. The guy clearly knew who Finn was, but Finn didn't know the man at all. Ever since the destruction of Starkiller, he couldn't escape how widely known he had become.
"I know there's stormtroopers back there and I need to speak with them. I probably know some of them!" Finn yelled, but the man stood by what he said. Finn sighed out of frustration, knowing that he needed to get the clearance to be able to talk to his ex-comrades.
He contemplated finding Skywalker, but in this situation there was really nothing he could do. So Finn started to search throughout the base, trying to find a military official. One room after the next came up empty. His annoyance was starting to grow into anger until he finally saw Admiral Statura walking down the hallway.
"Admiral!" Statura turned upon hearing his title and waited for Finn to reach him. Finn didn't waste anytime with formalities. "The stormtroopers in the facility, they deserve fair treatment and shouldn't be executed. You can't let Trend-"
"Finn, it's alright. Grand Admiral Trend's demand to have the troopers executed was thwarted. It goes against what is outlined in the Galactic Constitution on how prisoners of war are to be treated."
Finn placed his hand against the cold wall so he didn't fall over from his instant relief. He took a few breaths, calming his racing mind.
"What happens to them now?" he asked.
"Well, they will be interrogated to see what their true intentions are and why they surrendered."
Finn's muscles tensed. "I want to be the one who interviews them."
Admiral Statura eyed Finn. "I don't-"
"I'm the best person to talk with them. I can relate to these people on a level none of you understand and you know it." Finn knew he shouldn't be talking to an admiral this way, but his eagerness was taking control of his mouth. At least Statura didn't seem to be taking offense from Finn's demands.
Statura sighed. "I'll see what I can do and let you know sometime today. I'm not promising anything, but I'll try to get you in there."
That was as good of a response as Finn was going to get. "Thank you, Admiral." The two men parted ways, and Finn decided that the Master Jedi has had enough time to mediate. If he couldn't find his sister after hours of searching, he probably wasn't going to. In that case, Finn wished he could help Skywalker, but he was powerless.
Finn found Luke in a dimly lit room on one of the top levels. The man's eyes rolled open, watching Finn as he entered. Bags were forming under his blood shot eyes and the man's expression looked grave. The faint smell of sweat and body odor wafted into Finn's nose. Even though the Jedi Master probably hadn't moved a muscle in hours, the man had still overexerted himself.
"Anything?" Finn inquired.
"No. Nothing." Luke rubbed the exhaustion out of his face.
"Are you sure you don't want to join in the Resistance efforts in finding the general?"
Skywalker shook his head. "No. They're focusing on finding my nephew, but he wasn't the one who took Leia. Even if he did, Ben has been closed off from me for years. I would have better luck sensing Leia than him." Finn nodded as he sat in an opened chair against the wall. Truthfully, he wanted to find his friends more than the Organa, but the soldier part of his brain was telling him that finding Leia should be the main focus. Plus, the Jedi Master seemed to need all the help he could get and Finn would feel guilty if he left the man to find his sister on his own.
"Why is it you think Kylo Ren won't hurt my friends?" Finn emphasized the monsters name, refusing to call him by the one given to him at birth.
"I cannot speak of Commander Dameron, but I think a small part of Ben might care for Rey." The thought that that bastard could care for anyone surprised Finn. "I believe there is still a small amount of light left within him, and that is where his true feelings can be found." There had been no semblance of light in the man when he ordered that village on Jakku to be slaughtered. That day still lingered in Finn's mind every night as he fell into the confines of sleep.
"What makes you believe that?"
"They had previously shared a dream where Rey was in danger." Finn gripped the sides of the chair harder. "Ben showed genuine concern for her well being and tried to save her." Luke had left that detail out of their long conversation last night.
Finn looked on in confusion. "But that's just a dream. It's not real."
"In dreams, you tend to emulate a more true version of yourself since your subconscious is hard for you to control in such a place. No, Ben revealed that he cared about what happened to Rey. That is why I feared he would try and kill her, so he could snuff out an emotion he would view as a weakness." Finn wondered what type of person would choose to become void of such basic human emotions.
The type of person who kills their own father. That's who.
"But they fled the island together." Finn could sense he was nearing the truth of what was really going on, but he couldn't quite grasp onto it. "Do you think Ren took them back to the First Order?"
The Jedi Master licked his dry lips and grasped the glass of water to his left. "It would be in Rey's best interest to not be caught by the First Order."
"So... they could be lying low somewhere? Away from other civilizations?"
Luke shrugged as he gulped down the remaining liquid. "I really hope so."
Finn scrutinized Skywalker with a skeptic stare. If this is actually true, what is Poe doing? Why hasn't Rey and Poe contacted the Resistance?
"All of this goes off the assumption that Ren actually cares for Rey, which sounds impossible to me." It's impossible.
Luke let a gloomy grin show on his features. "If I was in your position, I wouldn't believe me either. But I know what I witnessed in that dream. And he was blatantly protecting Rey from the blaster fire on the island." Finn stayed silent, not knowing what to believe anymore. "I know you want to find your friends, Finn. Even though I didn't find my sister while meditating, I did sense something else that might interest you."
Finn leaned closer toward the lounging Jedi, his attention piqued. "What?"
"My sister and her son's fate are intertwined somehow. I don't fully understand it, but that's what I could sense." And where Ren was, his friends would be. The best chance at finding everyone was for Luke to sense his sister, and they needed to figure out how to make that happen.
Finn thought to himself how everything seemed to be revolving more and more around Kylo Ren and he wondered if the guy realized just how important he seemed to be in the grand scheme of the galaxy.
()()()()()
Leia was slowly pushing her numbness away as her body started to tingle from the inside out. Her breathing was labored and her head rolled from side to side against the chilly floor. Something was causing her to feel out of sorts. Groaning, she cracked open her eyes, but nothing came into her view.
Metal scrapped along her wrists as she brought her fingers to her face, her opened eyelids confirming she was in a pit of darkness. A hard part in the floor was jutting into her back, causing her to wince as she sat upright. Her legs were not bound, making it easier to move around. Cautiously, she felt around her small prison for anything to aid her, but she came up empty.
There was a faint smell of urine. It took Leia a moment to realize that while she had been unconscious, she had wet herself.
How long had she been there? Her back rested against a wall as she went over the last things she remembered.
Ben.
He'd been on the island, looking for Rey and Luke. The opportunity to see her son again had consumed all of her common sense, causing her to sneak off the base and fly straight for Ahch-To. Once arriving at the rim of the planet, things became too hazy to remember any specific details. Her ship was supposed to be undetectable, but her sitting there in the musty room proved that was false.
Did the First Order intercept her? Leia's intuition told her no, and her gut feeling was never wrong. Besides, the First Order would not operate from somewhere as primitive as a place made of stone. They liked their sleek metal ships and torture devices. Leia was in neither of those things.
Time didn't register as she sat there, left with only her thoughts to keep her sane. She'd been in worse situations and had still found a way to survive. This time was no different, except… Han had always been there to back her up.
Her and Han's relationship had never been in the realms of being conventional. There was never a doubt that they loved each other deeply, but they never had the incessant need to always be around one another. She was devoted to the Senate, and Han had to satiate his adventurous side by flying around the galaxy. They were comfortable with only being together half of the year, but that didn't mean they were always of one mind.
They would fight. A lot. Han knew how to push Leia's patience and she would say just the right thing to make him angry. The fights never affected their love and they always tried to work through their problems. Or they just buried their disagreements, leaving them for another day. Their living arrangement and relationship worked out comfortably for them... but it hadn't been ideal for their son.
In so many ways, Han and Leia had failed Ben as parents. He had been forced to raise himself since her and Han were never there. In Leia's eyes, the Senate was her main job and she had worked hard to keep it together. The whole galaxy depended on the New Republic staying intact. Or so she had thought.
Maybe if she'd been a more present mother, she would have realized that the fate of the galaxy rested with her son, not with the Senate. A bigger threat had been looming from the shadows, its watchful eyes always on Ben. Leia never paid it the attention it deserved.
The Dark side had always been inside of her son, and some otherworldly presence had been molding him into the monster he now was. Sending him off to train with Luke, after he almost killed that boy, was when she had lost Ben forever. The boy never got over the bitterness of being tossed aside, even though Leia viewed it as trying to help him control his natural abilities. And it wasn't like her husband had been helpful during the ordeal of Ben's questionable future. Han hadn't agreed with her decision to deliver their son to the academy, but neither did he offer up another solution.
Ben deserved to have better parents – ones who didn't miss numerous birthdays and fought in front of him constantly. They had surrounded him with nice things to make up for their absence, but no amount of worldly possessions could replace the love they should have given him. She'd been a neglectful mother to the one boy who would cause chaos to ripple throughout the galaxy.
There was distant echoes of doors opening and closing, footsteps coming closer. Leia quickly raised herself from the floor, bracing her weak body for whoever came into her cell.
The steel door slid open. The sudden flood of light blinded her eyes. Figures stood in the doorway and Leia raised her bound hands to try and alleviate the brightness. One of them crept into the room, the sound of their steps reverberating off of the stone ground.
Her visitor was a short, lean woman in a shimmering black dress that flowed all the way to the floor. The thin straps showed off her feminine neckline, and her black hair was pinned off to the side, allowing her soft curls to drape over her right shoulder. Her slanted eyes and high cheeks made her outward appearance beautiful, but Leia knew that this woman was one of the vile human beings she'd ever encountered.
"Carise Sindian." Leia spat her name like it was a curse, and to her, it absolutely was. This woman was responsible for outing her true parentage in front of the whole Senate six years ago. Even though Ransolm was the one who had played her father's message, Carise had set up the whole thing to try and draw Leia's attention from finding out about the First Order.
Carise clasped her hands together and gave Leia a warm, sickening smile. "Princess Organa. I've been waiting for this moment for a very long time." Her voice was smooth and controlled, but held cruel undertones that only Leia could pick up on. Carise's eyes roamed over Leia, taking in her filthy military jumpsuit and her matted hair. Moments passed by and Leia wondered if the woman came just to stare at her unkempt appearance.
"How did you intercept my ship?" Leia started the conversation, trying to get some semblance of control over her circumstances.
Carise's grin widened. "One of your aids helped me with that, since they've been working for me this whole time. You rarely go anywhere without a proper escort and when you finally did, he drugged you and contacted me. His reward has been very… generous. The lucky man never needs to work another day in his life." Leia didn't need to ask which aid had betrayed her, for there had only been one aid on the ship. Kalvin, a man from Bespin, had been her aid for two years. That man had been waiting two years for Leia to make a mistake.
"The rest of my crew. What have you done with them?" The two pilots...
"Dead. I wasn't about to waste resources on keeping them alive. They don't matter."
Leia kept herself composed, but on the inside, she seethed.
"Is that what Ransolm was to you?" Leia couldn't stop herself from bringing her friend into the conversation. "Someone who doesn't matter?"
Carise shrugged nonchalantly. "He was a means to an end. Somebody had to take credit for setting up Tai-Lin's assassination and honestly, you two becoming friends was an inconvenience. Taking him out of the equation was necessary in protecting the identity of the First Order. Oh come now, Leia. It's not like he's dead. Well, not yet anyway. Isn't his execution coming up? Its probably best that he dies instead of rotting away in prison. It would be a tender mercy." Leia growled at how the woman didn't seem to care for what she had done to a once respectable man. Carise was nothing more then a narcissistic sociopath who desperately wanted to be someone important again.
Talking about Ransolm brought up too many bitter feelings for Leia, so she decided to change the subject before she went down a path she couldn't turn back from. Her aid, Kalvin, must have told Carise where the bases were located. "You've known where the Resistance has been located this whole time. Why haven't you told the First Order? Are you not loyal to them anymore?"
Carise chuckled innocently. "Oh, I am still a faithful member of the Order. I've just been following my own personal goals these last few years. I knew they would find your base sooner or later, so I didn't see the harm in keeping that knowledge from them for the time being."
"And what are your goals, Carise?"
The woman looked at Leia, agape, like she was somehow supposed to know the answer to her own question.
"Why you, of course." The drugs Kalvin had given her must still be muddling her mind because the answer had been obvious and Leia had failed to see it. "You see, Leia, after you had my titles stripped from me, I left the Senate in shame." Carise's face twisted into a threatening glower. "I tried to remedy my broken name while with the First Order, but at the end of the day, my nobility was still gone. My name had been humiliated." The woman paced in front of her as she listened to Carise moan about her problems. Leia didn't feel an ounce of pity for the bitch.
"I had my own connections outside of the First Order and I decided to put them to good use. I had to be patient as I waited for the most opportune moment for you to show yourself, and thankfully, you finally did. You were foolish to want to see your son, but your stupidity worked in my favor." Leia's frustration heightened upon hearing Ben be brought up in the discussion.
"So, you brought me here to kill me yourself and get your revenge?" Leia surmised. "Not the most original plan."
Carise's high cackle bounced off the walls and grated Leia's ears. The woman was receiving too much pleasure out of having Leia participate in her guessing game.
"Oh, Leia. I'm not going to personally kill you. I have something much better in store for your death."
"Do you now?" So, having her die was on the list of things Carise wanted to happen. The question remained on who would pull the trigger. "What could possibly be better than killing me with your own two hands, Carise?"
The woman stopped moving and let her excitement show from her giggly demeanor. Leia had the strong urge to slap Carise across the face so she wouldn't have to look at that counterfeit smile one more second.
"At first, I thought I had the perfect plan all mapped out." Leia hardened her stare on the overly jubilant woman. "I was going to lure your brother out of hiding, knowing he couldn't pass up the chance to save his twin sister. Of course, my men would seize your twin and make you watch as they killed him slowly in front of you."
"But that is not your strategy anymore," Leia stated.
Carise shook her head.
"No. Something far better has revealed itself to me." The woman paused, reveling in the suspense. Leia was finding Carise's flare for the dramatic highly annoying. "Did you know your son has left the First Order?" Leia's knees almost gave out as her heart stopped from shock. Carise laughed at the sudden look of surprise that was plastered all over Leia's face. "No one can find him or the girl he allegedly fled with. As you can imagine, Supreme Leader Snoke is very upset." Blood pumped loudly in Leia's ears, making her strain to hear everything Carise had to say.
Ben left? He actually left? Or is Carise lying? Why would she lie about something like this?
"You know," Carise continued, "I remember when I first met your son." Leia's frantic thoughts halted immediately. "He'd just joined the First Order, but before he donned that mask of his. I must say, he grew up to be a very handsome man. I'm not Force sensitive, but I didn't need to be to know how powerful your son was." The cuffs around Leia's wrists shook as she started to lose control over her anger. Leia wanted to kill this woman for going anywhere near Ben. "I know what you're thinking, and yes, me being seven years older than him might be considered strange. Did I care? No. I still made an advance on him. I couldn't let someone like that pass me by. But he was playing so hard to get, and truth be told, I would much rather be chased." Carise's stare was far away, thinking about that disappointing day. "I even wore my blue sleeveless gown, the one that accentuated all my finer qualities. But still, I couldn't convince him to take it off of me." Carise let out a sorrowful sigh. "Such a shame. I bet he's one of those men who enjoys it rough. Probably makes all the girls scream while he's bedding them. Who knows, maybe he has a mommy complex and thinks about you while he's–"
Leia shouted and lunged at Carise, no longer able to keep her rage in check. One of the men by the doorway was quick on his feet and grabbed Leia just before she made contact.
The man picked her up and threw her onto the ground. Her head hit the dark stone with a residual thud. Leia rolled around, groaning, trying to cast the pain out of her skull. Carise's smooth laugh registered in Leia's jumbled mind, and she wished the bitch would choke on that despicable tongue of hers.
"Everyone is looking for your son, but I plan on finding him first." Leia rolled onto her side, grunting as she lifted her upper body. Everything was out of focus, but she knew where Carise stood. "And when I do, one of two things will happen: he will either kill you to get back into his master's good graces, or he refuses and you get to watch us kill your son before you die. Both scenarios have me winning, but I'm really hoping he chooses the first option." Leia bowed her head, letting an astute sob escape her lips. She was not afraid to die, but having her son be the one to kill her… "It's like a poetic tragedy, don't you think?" Tears sprung from Leia's eyes and slid down her cheeks. "The son killing both his parents; the two people who brought him into this world. I admit, I get chills just thinking about it."
She listened as Carise and her lackey turned to leave, but then the footsteps suddenly stopped. "Oh, and don't waste your time trying to contact your brother through your magic. Those cuffs you have on are specifically designed to hide your Force signature and substantially hinder any Force abilities you might want to use." The steel door slid shut, plunging her prison into utter darkness. "Enjoy your stay, Princess."
Leia lowered herself onto the floor and wailed as she cried for what seemed like days. She kept going, even after all her tears were spent and her throat was raw. Listening to that sick creature talk about her son in a way she had no right to had infuriated her very soul. Leia envisioned herself grabbing Carise's head and bashing it onto the floor until there was nothing left but a pile of blood, bone, and flesh.
Her life had led her to this very moment in this exact cell, waiting to see if her son decided to kill her or have Carise's men do the honors. A part of her wanted to believe that Ben wouldn't be able to kill his own mother, but that part of her was overshadowed by the fact that he'd killed one of his parents already. Ben supposedly "leaving" the First Order surprisingly didn't comfort Leia all that much. Her son was almost thirty years old and was too set in his ways of murder and power. The darkness had spread through him like a cancer, and Leia didn't know where to find the cure.
Idly, her thoughts swept to her husband. Leia had felt the moment Han had died, knowing that her son was the one to deal the final blow. After years of not sensing her son, she had felt him for only a few brief seconds. Anger, grief, and regret shot through her, making her sit down before she fell over. She'd never felt such vivid and intense emotions before, and they were all coming from Ben.
Her family was gone, all because of Snoke. That creature had taken everything from her and she hated him, like a slave hated their owner. She slowly came to realize that Snoke was just as much her master as he was her son's. She'd done everything that man had wanted: she had ignored Ben, pushed him aside, and made the perfect environment for him to be influenced. They'd all been played.
No one was going to come save her, for she knew it was impossible to be found. The cuffs were indeed blocking her from her brother and he was the only hope she had left. Han was not going to come bursting through that door, giving her his dashing grin and lecturing her on how she always seemed to get herself into these predicaments.
Leia was alone, with no family to aid her.
()()()()()
The sun had gone down, but the full moon was illuminating their path back to the ship. Ren was purposely walking as slow as he could, knowing that once they were on the freighter, him and Rey would eventually part ways for the night.
"And you're sure Snoke doesn't know where we are?" Rey asked, for the third time.
"No, he isn't aware of our location. I was able to keep him from seeing that, at least." He'd been surprised he fended his master off, but had failed to do the same with Rey. What was that shadow he found in her mind? It had felt familiar to him. That mysterious essence had stopped him from prying deeper in her mind on Starkiller base. He was sure of it.
"Ben?" He glanced down to see her eyeing him. "I, uh… saw some of your memories. From when I was in your mind." She was nervous and fiddling with those fingers of hers.
"That doesn't surprise me. I figured you probably saw something." Stars, hopefully she didn't see anything too horrible. But what else would she see? His whole life was a mixing pot of horrendous events, all from his own doing. Against his better judgment, he asked her what she had witnessed.
"You were in my AT-AT, holding my rebel doll and looking over all the tick marks I had made." He let out a sigh of relief, for that memory was not a horrific one. "Why were you in my home?"
"I was trying to find you and I had to start somewhere." Rey nodded her head at his reasonable explanation. "Mashra hopes you find what you are looking for, by the way."
Her eyes bulged and she grabbed his arm, stopping him mid stride to face her. "You talked to Mashra? Is she still alive?"
In other words, Rey was wondering if Ren had killed her.
"I know it's hard to believe, but I don't kill everyone I come into contact with." Only those who deserve it.
She blinked. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have worded it like that."
Ren looked over her head, scanning the dark waves rolling onto the beach. "Your conjecture was accurately placed, given who I am and what I've done. No need to apologize." He really disliked when she used the word sorry with him. Seemed like she was apologizing for being who she was.
Rey released the grip on his arm. "Did Mashra tell you anything else?"
He shrugged. "Not much. Our conversation was rather short. She just hopes you find where you belong." She gave Ren a weak smile and he returned her expression. He desperately wanted her to say that she'd already found where she belonged... that it was with him. Both of them knew it; he just wanted to hear her declare it so it felt more real.
They resumed their course, each one taking turns stealing glances at the other. A few times their eyes would lock and they would look quickly away, giggling into the serene night air.
Ren had never felt this young before, not even when he had been young.
"I'm sorry I kept you outside for the majority of the day," she said. He rolled his eyes. There she went, apologizing again.
He fanned his hand out to the ocean. "I know you wanted to be out here, and what was I going to do? Go back to the ship and try to avoid the pilot? No, being out here was the much better option. Especially since I was with you," he said playfully, which was something he didn't know he could still do.
"Well, your better option has left you with a sunburn." He could hear the smile in her voice.
"The light and I don't really get along."
"In more ways than one, I take it."
Yes, in more ways than one, he agreed inwardly.
The rustling of the trees from the lenient breeze filled the short lull in their conversation. Ren never knew that conversing with someone could feel this tranquil. It truly did astound him that in the span of spending the whole day with her, he'd grown accustomed to her company.
Doesn't it take more time than this to feel so lured to another individual?
"You being inside my home was not the only memory I saw, you know," she whispered, pulled him away from his thoughts. Her demeanor became more solemn than it was before and Ren waited for her to elaborate, but her nerves held her back.
"You're curious as to what they were," he stated more than questioned.
She nodded. "I, uh, know you don't like talking about your past. You barely even tolerate me calling you Ben." He scrunched his eyebrows together, now becoming curious as to what she had seen. "I don't even know if you'll tell me about it or not." Rey watched her boots make dents in the sand as Ren contemplated placing his fingers under her chin so he could see her eyes.
"You can ask and I can choose whether or not to answer." More than likely, he wasn't going to. Just thinking about the life he had before becoming Kylo Ren made it feel too real. Rarely did he ever talk about it out loud.
He paused his thinking. All of those rare occasions had been with Rey, and every time, she had listened to him. Like, actually, genuinely listened to his words.
"It was only a short glimpse, but I saw you and your knights walking up to a large building during the night," she explained. "There was a huge field to the side of it and some mountains off in the distance. You were all wearing your robes and masks, but then the scene changed when you got closer to the entrance."
Ren didn't notice that he had stopped walking, and Rey didn't either until she was a few feet ahead of him. She eyed him, curiously.
Oh, he was pretty damn sure he knew the memory she was speaking of, but he needed her to clarify further. "Can you describe the door at the entryway? What did it look like?"
"Uhhhh..." He held his breath. Rey concentrated, trying to recall one of the less important details of the memory. "It wasn't mechanical, but looked like a wooden double door. It had these carvings all over it, something I don't recognize - maybe some type of ancient language? And then these big, long handles toward the middle." She paused. "That's all I can really remember."
Ren knew that door well: it was the entrance to Skywalker's Jedi academy.
"So?" Rey prompted. "Do you know what I'm talking about?"
"Yes... but I'm not telling you."
The conversation had hit a snag.
Rey looked at him alarmed. "It's the Jedi academy, isn't it?" she said with an edge to her tone. "You really killed the other students, didn't you?" The girl proved to be more perceptive than he realized. Ren's thoughts flashed back to that testing night. He didn't want to tell Rey about it – not out of any sense of regret since he had little, but because of how she would likely react.
She stood in front of him, waiting.
"Yes," he finally responded. The bond was closed off from him, making it hard to detect her reaction. Ren scrutinized her face, but she kept it smooth and void.
"What happened?" she demanded.
He sighed, knowing that if he refused to talk she would just keep pestering him. "Rey. This is something you wouldn't want to hear."
"I'll be the judge of that." The stars shimmered across the dark sky as Ren glanced up. At this rate, they were never going to make it back to the ship. It's not like you were in a hurry to get back, remember? he reminded himself. Maybe he could get away with going into as little detail as possible.
"My knights and I attacked the academy. None of the students survived," he said quickly.
Her stare was flat with a pinch of annoyance thrown in. "Yeah. I came to that conclusion on my own before I ever met you. I want to know what happened throughout the whole event."
Frustration loomed beneath the surface of his control. "I really don't see why that's relevant. I went to the academy, did what I was ordered to do, and left. Why would you want more detail than that? Why do you want me to describe those things to you?" His voice was one pitch away from being in the realm of yelling. He didn't mean to get so passionate all of a sudden, didn't understand the lump that was suddenly growing in his throat.
Rey backed away, eyes hurt at the tone he had used. "I... I didn't know the memory would affect you so badly. You're right, what good would it do for me to know more. I'm-"
"Don't apologize." He snapped, cutting her off. She closed her mouth. The two of them stood there in awkward silence. His eyes were darting everywhere, trying not to look at her.
She reached out, touching his arm to get his attention. "Lets get back to the ship."
He nodded.
During the trek back, Ren was trying to think of something to say, but came up short. Today had its ups and downs, but it was one of the best days he had in years - probably ever, the more he thought about it. It shouldn't end this way, with her feelings hurt and him aggravated. But what should he say? He could give her what she wanted and tell her exactly what transpired at the academy, but that could do more harm than good.
He rolled his eyes at himself. I can't even figure out how to be a proper friend. Shouldn't that come naturally to people? Maybe he was too old to change and he was doomed to never be able to control his emotions.
Now there's a comforting thought.
()()()()()
You need to hone in your curiosity, Rey scolded inwardly.
She was walking on the beach beside Ben, listening to the comforting sounds of the water. Everything had been going smoothly until she brought up the academy. Now, things felt displaced between them. She should have known he would lash out; he wasn't very skilled at controlling his anger. He didn't yell at her, which was an improvement, but his speech had been sharp and precise.
And why did he cut me off from apologizing? That had struck her as odd. She was the one pushing him to satiate her curiosity... so she should be the one to apologize, right?
It was probably for the best not to know all the details about the fall of Skywalker's academy. Ben, along with his knights, had killed the other students.
Innocent people… How old was the youngest? Did he kill children? Her body shivered while she contemplated the questions. Part of her desperately needed to know whom he had struck down, while the rest of her wanted to stay ignorant.
It was tempting to slide across their connection and find out what he was feeling, but Rey was afraid it would open too much of herself to him. Right now, she wanted to have the privacy of her own mind.
"Rey?" His voice came from behind. She turned to see him waiting at the tree line. She'd been too distracted by her thoughts, not noticing that Ben had stopped off to the side. "The ship is through here."
"Right." Embarrassment flared in her cheeks, and she was thankful for the night to conceal it. As she approached, he pushed a group of branches to the side, creating an opening for her to duck through. She stepped through the vegetation, feeling a minuscule amount of pressure on her lower back. Ben had placed his hand there, helping her through as he closed the wall of green behind them.
I can walk perfectly fine on my own.
She thought he was trying to help her stay balanced while walking upon the uneven ground, but his hand remained, even after they made it through. He was so close to her that her left side kept rubbing up against his torso. His body was so warm, so… inviting.
Rey kept walking, not knowing what to do. Knots formed in her stomach, causing a fiery sensation to spread all the way to her fingertips. She rubbed them together, feeling them tingle from the contact. Her body was reacting in a way she was unfamiliar with, but it didn't feel uncomfortable. It was a feeling she could get lost in, a feeling she wanted to explore more.
And then his hand was gone. She felt a portion of herself disappear into the damp air. Her eyes lifted to his, but they weren't there to catch her stare. He was looking off to the side, all of his features away from view.
If it weren't for her body still feeling electrified from his touch, she would have thought she imagined the whole thing. A rattled breath came from her chest as she tried to cool down her body, which was hard to do with all the humidity.
For the first time, Rey allowed herself to fully take him in. His height was a little less than a foot taller than hers, but he still towered over her. The upper portion of his body was all power, with his broad shoulders and small waist accentuating his most prominent feature. Her frame was definitely more petite than his, which said a lot since she wasn't petite in the first place. Rey's height was above average for a normal human woman, her legs long and lean.
She recalled seeing Ben shirtless on the beach on Ahch-To. From the fast paced events, she didn't really have time to look him over, but she was definitely replaying it in her head now. He was all bulk and muscle, looking like a man who could beat someone to death with only a few blows. For all she knew, he probably had.
Wrapping herself around his wide frame, her hands had felt how hard and brawny his back had been. His skin had been amazingly soft with barely any hair on his milky white chest.
With his head still turned away from her, she couldn't get a good look at his appearance from this position. So she thought about the first time she ever truly saw his face. It had shocked her to witness that a young man was actually beneath that nightmarish mask. For some reason, she had envisioned some sickly looking creature with four eyes and a horrific complexion. At the time, she'd almost preferred it, because right when she got a good look at him, she had thought him handsome. It was only for the briefest of seconds and was soon swallowed up by her fear, but she had thought it all the same.
Now, he donned the scar she had given him. It truthfully made his guise a lot more intimidating and threatening. Weirdly, though... Rey liked it.
What's wrong with me?
That scar would strike fear in those who saw him, a warning not to get in his way. And, the Force help her, Rey was attracted to the power and authority his whole physique represented. With a stare, he could make people scatter. How she always longed for such a gift while growing up. She never found a way to acquire it. But now, in some roundabout way, she did have it... because she had Ben.
Those thoughts scared her... but there was also an excitement she couldn't deny.
There has to be something wrong with me.
Rey's eyes roamed down the part of the scar on the side of his jaw, down to where it disappeared under the shirt. There were more scars on his body she recalled seeing, some from their fight on Starkiller, and some she didn't know the origins. It made one thing pretty clear to her, though: Ben participated in a lot of violence. All of it, more than likely, out of his own doing.
She heard the cargo ramp being lowered. Still caught up in her thoughts, she followed Ben up the ramp when she suddenly walked right into his back. She yelped out in surprise as he turned around.
"If you want to ask me about the academy, then go ahead. But just know you won't like what you hear." He held himself like he was bracing for impact from a ferocious Drexl, when in reality, only a few questions were going to be tossed his way. "You'll more than likely contemplate leaving again, which I won't stop you if that's what you decide."
Rey considered being polite and backing down from his invitation, but the opportunity was too important to pass up. She decided to stick with a few questions so he wouldn't have to go into great detail.
"How many students did you kill?"
Ben didn't hesitate to answer. "Six."
Rey folded her arms, trying to not let her churning stomach affect her composed expression.
"How many people were at the academy?"
Ben didn't look away as he answered. "Eighteen."
Her brows rose. It was more than she had initially thought. "What were the ages of the ones you killed?"
Ben didn't seem all that eager to answer that one. The muscles in his jaw tightened and he looked at Rey like he was trying to plead with her to take back the question. She knew that no matter the age of his victims, killing was killing and they all ended up dead in the end. But... she couldn't help feeling like taking the life of a young child was a heavier crime than murdering an adult.
A sharp breath escaped his nose. "Thirty-one, twenty-three, two twenty year old's, nineteen…" He paused. That was only five. His mouth was opening and closing, refusing to articulate the last age. Rey held her breath and locked her knees. "And nine."
Everything was still as he watched her, waiting for a reaction. She tried holding herself together, she really did, but hearing that last age was too much for her. And by the way he had waited, he'd known it would be.
Disgust boiled within her and she couldn't bear to be near him anymore. She turned, walking down the ramp and into the tropical forest ahead. Was she wrong in finding out who he had killed? Should she have stayed none the wiser about it?
No, I need to know what he's done if I'm to stay with him.
She halted among the trees and vines, glancing at nothing in particular. Her vision couldn't register anything in her spiraling mind.
Hearing about the nine year old hit her differently than Han dying. She could understand Ben's hatred for his father, but what did a little kid ever do to him? Why did he have to eliminate all the students at the school in the first place?
...Why was she attracted to his power? It was disgusting. She was disgusting.
Their connection alarmed her that he was close behind. For being so large, the man was light on his feet and knew how to stay quiet. He didn't say anything, but she could feel him watching her.
Rey was he first to speak. "Do you regret what you've done?"
Silence.
She turned, facing him. His expression reminded her of a child who felt guilty for being caught, not for the act they had just committed. It angered her.
"Why did you go back to the academy?" she pressed further.
He crossed his arms, preparing himself for the uncomfortable situation. "If the Jedi rose back to the power they once had, the First Order wouldn't have been able to gain traction throughout the galaxy."
"And do you still believe that?"
He pursed his lips. "The Jedi ideals are unrealistic and cause chaos. The galaxy is better off without their existence."
"But I want to be a Jedi!" she yelled, neck cording from the effort. Ben glanced away. "Do you think I should die?" Her voice broke slightly. "That I deserve it?"
"No." He was contradicting himself and the way his face contorted into confusion, he knew it.
"Don't you care about anything?"
Ben gazed at her ardently through his loose strands of hair. "I care about you." That caught Rey off guard. At least he didn't seem to be conflicted over that statement.
Her lips trembled. "But you don't care about anything else, right?" He didn't answer. "Stars, Ben, I can't be the only thing in this entire galaxy that you care about." That was too much responsibility being hefted onto her shoulders. The idea of her being the only individual who could control the galaxy's most dangerous man, if he could be controlled at all, was overwhelming.
"Rey…" Her name left his lips in defeat. "I know what you want of me. You want me to feel remorse over all the lives I've taken and the things I've done, but you don't seem to realize that... I can't. Not because I'm incapable, but because it will absolutely ruin me."
She knew what he said wasn't completely true. He was mortified by what he'd done to his father, proving that there was still some light left within him.
Remorse was a natural process in life, and Rey felt like Ben was cheating by shutting down his conscience. He should be ruined by his evil choices; she didn't have any doubt about that. One fact seemed to keep eluding him, though, which was Rey would help him pick up the pieces of his torn apart life. But she couldn't do that if he refused to properly acknowledge that he'd been in the wrong during the last six years. How long could she wait for him to accept that?
Ben brushed his hair away from his face and straightened his posture. "You want clarification on what happened that night, then fine, I'll tell you."
He swallowed before continuing. "For the academy, I was in charge of the older and more experienced students. The ones who knew more about the Force and were a threat." Ben told her the details like he was reading them off from some book. His voice was factual and without feeling. Whether that was to spare her from the horrors of what he was actually saying or to hide any emotion, she didn't know. "A… young boy was in the older student's dormitory and got in my way. I made it quick for him. I ordered the knights to make the students deaths swift. When I found out one of them hadn't, I killed him. Death shouldn't be drawn out for the younger ones; it should be quick and precise. In the end, eighteen were dead - nineteen if you count my knight. The oldest was thirty-one and the youngest was four."
Rey had wanted to make him stop talking, but she'd asked for the particulars and needed to see her resolve through. He might see himself as being merciful in making the youngling's deaths fast, but Rey didn't see it that way. Mercy would have been to let them live, not erasing them out of existence.
"By the way you're looking at me, I can tell you don't want me to be here," he whispered. "I'll leave you alone." His mouth opened to say something else, but he quickly shut it. Rey watched him disappear into the darkness, the one place that Ben was comfortable in.
Rey relaxed her face. She hadn't noticed until Ben had brought it up, but she'd been glaring at him with a copious amount of hatred. Gradually, she started to pace around a group of trees while shaking her hands out at her sides. So much anger was welling up inside that she was struggling not to do something rash.
To understand Ben better, she had always endeavored to see things from his perspective, but with this... she just couldn't. And she probably never would. The option of leaving came to her mind again. He said he wouldn't stop her, but if she did leave, where would that leave him? Running around the galaxy with no one to answer to? Possibly going back to Snoke? The man obviously didn't do well when left alone, but she also didn't like the idea of being a babysitter.
Her thoughts drifted to Ben's hand on her back. There was a part of herself that felt guilt over being drawn to him, but it was useless to try and fight it. These feelings came to her like the breath that filled her lungs, all so easy and fluid. The jolt of realizing how handsome he was felt kind of like immersing herself in cold water: Once the shock was over, she got used to where she was and what she was feeling.
Rey wondered if things could get any more complicated. She knew the answer to that silly question was YES. Absolutely.
Rey's disgust, the anger, and this entire conflict inside of her conscience was starting to suffocate her till her head throbbed. All she'd ever wanted while growing up in the desert was to go on epic adventures, to be a part of something bigger than the measly existence of being a scavenger. At the moment, this struggle with Ben certainly didn't feel that way. And Rey wasn't interested in looking at the larger picture. All the things Ben had done in the name of Kylo Ren were going to haunt her, which wasn't fair since he was the monster who killed all those people. Ben should be the one disturbed by his own actions, not her.
Rey gritted her teeth together. These line of thoughts were getting her nowhere except feeding into her own frustration. At the end of the day, Rey had to ask herself one question: was Ben worth saving?
Yes... I believe he is.
She might be a complete idiot for thinking it, but the power he possessed could be used effectively towards the greater good. He just needed to be guided down the right path and get off the one Snoke had set him on.
Snoke.
That evil creature was the one who had corrupted Ben. If it wasn't for him, Rey was sure Kylo Ren would never have existed. She needed to point the blame in the right direction and that course was leading her right at Kylo Ren's master.
()()()()()
Ren walked through the trees, leaving Rey behind to think about what he had done. He didn't need their connection open to know that she was second guessing her decision to stay, just like she had done earlier in the day.
What really bothered him was how Rey had reacted. The way she glowered at him, you'd think she just found out he'd murdered her whole family or something equivalently horrible.
I guess killing a nine-year-old boy would be classified in the same category.
One of the main reasons Ren had chosen to confront the older students was because out of all his knights, he had the most training fighting Jedi. Yes, two of his knights were Force sensitive, but Snoke wouldn't allow them to harness their abilities beyond some simple Force blocking.
Some of the student's names started to pop into his mind. Ren shut that down immediately. He didn't like to acknowledge that he once knew them.
Ren had never voiced it... but he didn't have the stomach to personally kill younglings. Even teenagers... was a hard limit. Once his knights had finished at the academy, he just kept walking back to the ship without so much as checking on the other dormitories. And once he discovered a knight had tortured one of the students, he butchered the man to pieces and left the chunks of human remains to rot in the wheat field next to the school.
Exterminating the young boy had been unavoidable, since the kid tried to fight Ren with a lightsaber he had found on the floor. That particular slaying had always left a sour taste in his mouth. He truthfully received no gratification from massacring the padawans. He just did what he believed had to be done. That hedonistic feeling he would experience as he killed didn't come till a couple years later, when he'd grown desensitized to the violence he would inflict on others.
Everyone either contributed to the galaxy as a whole, or they decomposed in a shallow grave. That was his new mantra.
Rey eagerly wanted him to return to the light, but what she wanted from him, he was too afraid to do. Feeling remorse over everything he.s done? Yeah… No thanks. The girl didn't seem to understand just how many people he'd killed over the last six years. Hell, he wasn't exactly sure of the number, but he knew it was A LOT. Regret was a wasteful emotion anyway, since it wouldn't bring back the individuals he had struck down.
Ren reached the ship and went inside the dark cargo bay. The pilot was up above feeling frustrated over something, but Ren wasn't interested in probing further to figure out what it was. Instead, he sat down on the metal floor and rested his back against his speeder.
Every part of him had meant it when he'd told Rey he cared for her. If anything happened to her, the bond wouldn't be the only thing that affected him. His sentiment for her had grown exponentially over the span of one day. Earlier, he had reflexively put his hand on her back, like it was something so normal to do, helping her through the thick brush lining the beach. He had intended to remove it, but as he felt her muscles tighten and release as she walked, his palm became glued to her frame.
Heat had spread through his bloodstream, going to one place specifically. Embarrassed, his face had flushed and he made sure Rey couldn't see his complexion. He'd wanted his hand to drift further over her taut figure….
Ren stood, not knowing what to do with himself. It was becoming difficult not to think of Rey in such a lustful way, and he could feel himself start to harden below. He paced from one wall to the other, interlacing his fingers behind his head. Breathing deeply, he tried to envision anything else that wasn't her, but nothing came to mind. His body demanded release and he contemplated actually giving into what it craved.
As a Jedi, he had lived a celibate life. He had taken it even farther than the other students by never allowing himself sexual relief. Even after he left the academy, he kept up with the practice, knowing that if he could discipline himself in such a carnal area, he could do so in other facets of his life. The bond between them was, no doubt, amplifying his feelings for her. But his attraction toward the girl hadn't started when the bond formed, for her indirect beauty on Takodana had taken him aback. He'd been lost to Rey since the moment he saw her, and had wasted time denying it to himself.
Before he could think through the decision he suddenly made, he climbed the ladder, needing to get to the refresher as fast as possible. He was going to do something he hadn't done since he was thirteen. His hand twitched in anticipation.
As he barreled into the hallway, Poe suddenly appeared in the intersection. Both men stopped, not knowing how to exactly react to each other. The pilot regained his composure and continued to the lounge. Something was different about him.
Ren strode after him. Poe reclined onto the lounge chair and stared at, what appeared to be, Dejarik on the table.
"Your clothes," Ren pointed out. "Where did you get them?" The pilot looked clean and polished in his dark pants, white shirt and blood red leather jacket. None of those items belonged to Ren.
Poe continued to concentrate on the game before him, answering Ren while never lifting his gaze. "I went into the city and picked up some things. I couldn't stay in my flight jumpsuit. That thing was absolutely filthy."
"You went into the city?"
Poe dramatically swiveled his head around, looking for nothing in particular. "Is there an echo in here?" Ren glared at the man. "I believe I just told you that. You need to work on your listening skills." Poe's attention went back to the holochess game.
"Did you take my Galactic Credit chip to pay for it?" Ren accused more than asked.
Poe's stare twisted up at Ren in shock. "You have access to credits? Why didn't you say anything! It took me hours to figure out how to steal these." Poe pulled at his shirt for emphasis. Ren's eyes widened in surprise. "And I- uh… stole some fuel for the ship. Figuring that out had taken most of the day."
Ren didn't know Poe had been that desperate to get out of his dirty clothes, but the fuel… that could come in handy. "I didn't take you to be a thief."
Poe answered him through clenched teeth. "Well, if you had said something about the credits you've been harboring, I would have paid for all of it." The only problem was the First Order would be able to find him through his credit transactions, so the stealing had ended up being the safer option. Ren wasn't going to tell Poe that, however. The guy clearly felt guilty for the thievery, and Ren was going to let him live with it.
Ren stood in the open room for a moment, idly watching Poe as the computers Molator killed one of his holographic combatants. The conversation with the pilot had extinguished any need for him to gratify himself, and he couldn't believe how close he came to breaking one of his oldest rules. If Poe hadn't have been in the hallway, Ren would be standing in the shower right now, scolding himself for giving in to an inner weakness.
"You know, I've played five matches against the computer and have lost every single time." Poe moved his Houjix into the central space. "Did you mess with the games programming somehow?"
"No. It's just on the most difficult setting." The computer moved its Strider right behind Poe's Houjix. Ren recognized the strategy immediately. "The computer is trying to bait-"
"I know how to play Dejarik," Poe snapped. "I don't need your help." The pilot moved the Houjix away from the Strider, choosing to retreat from what appeared to be a trap set by the computer.
Ren walked to the door, wanting to get to his personal living quarters.
"Where's Rey?" Poe asked.
Ren glanced over his shoulder, stopping right as he was about to exit the lounge. "She wanted to stay outside a little longer."
"Huh. I didn't know it was possible for the two of you to be a part from one another." A self-satisfied grin worked its way onto Poe's mouth. Ren rolled his eyes and left.
He entered his room, forgoing his bed. Back and forth, Ren paced between the lifeless metal walls. His self-control was back in place, but he needed to make sure his body didn't go as far as it had down in the cargo bay. These passions Rey unknowingly caused to rise within him were tricky to wrangle in.
How do I control this?
A soft knock came at his door. He hadn't felt anyone coming near his room. As he reached out through the Force, Rey's signature was faintly there. For the most part, she still had her portion of the connection closed off from him.
He compelled the door to slide open, revealing Rey in the doorway. Her eyes timidly roamed around the room, taking in the space she'd never seen before.
"I was wondering if you had an extra shirt I could borrow?" she asked. Of course, she probably didn't want to stay in the shirt she'd been wearing all day. Ren reprimanded himself for not thinking of giving her more garments.
He nodded and strode to his trunk in the corner. He didn't pack as many civilian clothes since he thought he would be wearing tunics and robes most of the time, so the pickings were slim. Rifling through the fabric, he found a couple of simple shirts near bottom. The choices were stark: white or black, sleeved or non-sleeved.
White? How did that get in here?
Ren liked seeing Rey in black. A little too much. He gave her the white shirt.
Rey knelt next to him, looking over the clothes. Something red was sticking out. She slowly went to retrieve it, clasping onto her rebel doll, looking at it with graceful reverence.
When Ren had left her home, he hadn't realized her doll had been stuffed into the pocket of his robes. He knew he should have thrown it away upon discovering it, but had placed it in his trunk instead. A part of him didn't want to let her go, even then.
"You brought this with you?" She hugged the doll to her chest and closed her eyes. That doll had been her only companion for years and she seemed to be overwhelmed by seeing it again. He clutched the white shirt in his lap, giving her a moment to enjoy being reunited with something that was so obviously precious to her.
"Ben?" Her eyelids fluttered open and her stare moved to his. "I know you believe you belong in the darkness, but I know there is still light within you. To me, you're worth saving, even after all the things you've done." She swallowed. "You're not evil. I don't think you are. You've committed evil, but you're not evil. If you were, I would be dead on that island." Ren didn't know what to say... but he was sure he was worth less than a grain of sand. "I won't stop trying to help you become the man you were always meant to be."
His stare filled with sorrow, not from knowing he couldn't be saved, but from realizing the girl would not give up her quest to see him embrace the light. "That path will only lead you to disappointment and heart break," he said softly.
Her shoulders shrugged. "Then that's the path I choose and the risk I'm willing to take. But... you won't disappoint me." A deep inhale entered her lungs. "Nor break my heart." Ben was an expert at disappointing others, but the thought of letting Rey down made him extremely nervous. And her last statement… it had sounded so intimate coming from her.
She gave him a weak smile as she stood and Ren followed. He handed her the shirt and she grabbed it gratefully. "There is a washing mechanism on the lower level," he told her. "I can show you how to use it tomorrow so you can wash your garments."
"Really? That would be great. My chest wrap needs a good wash." Ren's mouth slackened and her eyes widened as they realized what she just said. She blushed as Ren cleared his throat, trying to alleviate the awkwardness. Sure, the girl needed clothes, but his mind didn't even think of her need for undergarments.
Maybe I should ask Poe to steal some for her, he thought.
"Oh and, uh… I've been using your toothbrush." Her trepidation was endearing. "I hope that's okay."
He gave her a reassuring smile. "Rey, what's mine is yours. Feel free to use whatever you want." She breathed out in relief and he made a note to ask the pilot to snatch Rey some much-needed necessities. He could teach Poe how to pickpocket someone so he wouldn't have to flagrantly steal, but more than likely the pilot would just refuse his offer.
Rey brought the doll into view. "Is it alright if I take this?"
"It's yours. You don't have to ask me."
Ren wanted to feel her skin before she left, but he refrained.
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight." He followed her to the doorway and watched her enter her room across from his. She gave him one last look as he bade her goodnight. The door slid closed, cutting her off from his line of sight.
She had decided to stay, at least for tonight. He was sure a whole new set of arguments were in store for them tomorrow, but Ren didn't care. If they were arguing, it meant she was still there with him. And he would prefer that much more than the silence of being alone.
A/N
So, we finally know who took Leia! If you haven't read Bloodline, than I would suggest googling Carise Sindian if you want to know more about her. I am crossing my fingers she shows up during the next two movies. Also, I hope none of you get offended by sexual content. Sexuality is a huge part of being human and I was conflicted whether to write anything sexual in the story or not. But, if I didn't, I would feel like I am settling in some way and I want the book to be what I always envisioned it would be. So... yeah. Read at your own risk!
And with this chapter, we had some more strained conversations with Ren and Rey. If you find it difficult to like Ren right now, that is the intention. He needs to start caring about other things and people, besides Rey. At the core, he still holds onto much of his beliefs and its going to be interesting writing him as he evolves. Him and Rey both take turns being difficult to write, but for some reason I find Rey to be trickier of the two.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! More drama and action to come, I promise! Things are just slowing down for a bit, but it will for sure pick back up. Our heroes cant always be fighting the bad guys! Sometime they need a break.
Fave, follow, or review the story! Thanks for reading :)