Thanks to everyone who followed, faved, or left a review! I always look forward to hearing from you guys, even if it is just a sentence :) NightElfCrawler: The story is addictive? Yeah! Thanks for the compliment. I hope you like the direction I am gonna to take it! Thanks! kimmycocopop: We have some revelations and turning points in this chapter. The reveal on the girl will come soon enough, I promise. Glad you like the sort of relationship between Poe and Ren! SaintsFan1: I don't want them to be separated too long either, but I have to write the story the way it demands. I am glad to see last chapters ending scene resonated with someone. It was sad for them to part... Thanks for the review! Guest 2: There might be trouble, but not in the way you probably expect. Will Rey find out about his little side excursion? Possibly... Just keep on reading and following the story! Thanks again for all the reviews everyone!
Chapter Twenty-one:
"So… we're clear on what to tell them, right?" Poe repeated, glancing at Rey in the co-pilot seat.
Rey remained still, keeping her eyes on the blue streaks of hyperspace. They were minutes from Carlac, minutes from being bombarded with questions pertaining to their whereabouts. Poe was the one to suggest they contact the Resistance when they were outside of the planet, taking the opportunity in hyperspace to come up with a plan.
They would tell the truth about Ben – that he defected from the First Order and tried to help Poe and Rey on Ahch-To. After that, their honesty would be tossed out of the cargo bay.
The story would continue with them stuck behind enemy lines, unable to join the Resistance, which forced them to seek out Ben's ship. Two Tie fighters followed them out of the planet's atmosphere, one of them inflicting significant damage to the freighter before they jumped into hyperspace. With their communications and fuel line damaged, they became stranded on an uninhabited island on Spira. Rey and Poe then spent days fixing the marred parts, while Ben stayed mostly to himself. Once the repairs were made, Ben dropped them off at the nearest city where they were able to acquire a light freighter and make their way to Carlac.
If anyone took that tale at face value, it would be a miracle. "Yeah, I got it," Rey muttered. Poe came up with the whole story, which Rey didn't mind. Her head was way too jumbled to come up with a more plausible explanation as to what they'd been doing.
The freighter exited hyperspace and Poe hailed the Resistance. To say the comms officer was excited to hear from them was an understatement. He assigned them the landing platform A2, and then Poe did something that surprised Rey: he turned off the communications, cutting the man off mid-sentence.
Rey turned to him, but he kept his eyes ahead, focusing on flying the aircraft to the base. Without glancing at her, and even though she was the only person in the universe who could hear him, he spoke in a hushed tone. "Rey, you probably shouldn't say anything about you… and him."
Her teeth clenched together. "I know."
"People at the base won't understand." He was alluding to Finn. Obviously. Poe chuckled uneasily, smiling in order to cut the tension. "Hell, it's sometimes hard for me to understand, and I was with you two."
Rey didn't laugh. "Poe, you don't have to explain this to me. I know why I shouldn't say anything."
His smile faded, realizing his attempt at lightening the mood had failed. "Okay, just wanted to make sure."
In the ensuing silence, Rey took in the scenery of the planet she would be living on. Glittering snow covered the flat surface and the high mountains in the distance. There was not a speck of a brown dirt to be seen, and Rey's gut immediately fell. She hated the snow and she hated the cold and she hated how it reminded her of fighting Ben on Starkiller base.
What is with these people and wanting to put their bases on desolate planets?
The pink blossoms on the trees broke up the monotonous color of white, and Rey could at least appreciate the beauty of the lovely shade against the snow.
The freighter stayed close to the planet's surface as they glided to an outcrop of buildings next to a high mountain. Small dots of people were running outside, gathering around the platform Rey assumed was the one they would be landing on. As the faces became clearer, Rey leaned forward, frantically searching for one dark face in particular.
Pushing his way through the tight crowd and out into the front was Finn. Poe slowly lowered the ship onto the platform, allowing Rey to properly lock eyes with her friend. Every doubtful thought and fearful emotion vanished as her lips formed into the most infectious smile. Finn mirrored her excitement.
Once the ship jolted, letting her know they had landed, she jumped up to rush down to the cargo bay. She got as far as standing before Poe abruptly stood and placed his hand on her shoulder to stop her. His eyes were serious, confusing Rey. "I will always be in your corner, Rey. Remember that." His intuition was clearly warning him about something, but Rey wasn't in the mood to know what.
She rested her hand on top of Poe's and gave it a small squeeze. "I know. And thank you... for everything." Rey gave Poe one last, grateful look before sprinting to the freighter's exit. She could hear the plethora of voices echo through the cargo bay as she initiated the ramp to lower. Cold, dry air billowed around her, making her realize that she'll need to find warmer clothes if she didn't want to freeze to death.
The ramp hit the landing pad, showing the surplus of people looking at her anxiously. Finn stood right at the center, and Rey ignored them all as she darted down the ramp and ran straight into her friend's arms.
His embrace was so different from Ben's, but just as significant. Finn's arms and chest were comforting and tight, much like the hug they had shared right after she ran into him on Starkiller base. There were no passionate undertones like there was with Ben, but only the feeling of being held by her best friend.
A big group rushed the platform, surrounding Poe as he came off the ship. Rey heard Jess scream Poe's name, but she didn't turn to see the reunion going on behind her. She was content with staying in Finn's arms a little while longer.
"I was so scared I'd never see you again," Finn whispered in her ear. He pulled back, looking her over with worried eyes. "Are you all right? Did Kylo Ren hurt you?" She could feel her grin falter. Finn noticed, but read into the change completely wrong. "You're safe here, Rey. He'll never hurt you again."
It was going to hurt her to lie to him, but the alternative would be just as worse.
Rey nodded, not able to make her voice work through the worry that preoccupied her throat.
Security officers started to break up the crowd, coming straight for the platform. "Commander Poe Dameron," one of them called out, causing the Resistance pilots to disperse from their friend. The officer then turned to Rey, addressing her by name. "You two are to debrief immediately in room four, floor five."
Finn stepped forward, pushing Rey behind him in a protective manner. Normally, Rey would've insisted that she could stand up for herself, but she didn't know what exactly was happening. So she let Finn speak for her. "On whose orders? They just got back and should have time to rest."
"The orders are from Grand Admiral Trend. She wants to debrief them personally."
Finn scoffed, squaring off with the officer. Rey noticed how much more assertive Finn now seemed and she wondered what else had changed about her friend. "Debrief… more like interrogate. They haven't done anything wrong."
The officer didn't appreciate Finn's tone, but Poe stepped in before the spat escalated. "It's okay Finn. I knew something like this was probably going to happen." Poe and the officer peered behind Finn, waiting for Rey's response. She touched Finn's arm as she stepped forward.
"It's fine. It's just talking; it's no big deal," she reassured Finn, but realized she was also trying to reassure herself.
"My apprentice won't be debriefed by Admiral Trend." Skywalker stepped forward, exuding an authoritative presence. Rey gaped at her master. She hadn't expected to see him on the base.
Luke glanced at her briefly, not letting any emotion slip through his no-nonsense expression. The officer was unsure how to handle the situation, so he kept with his orders. "The admiral ordered –"
"I know what she ordered, but Rey is under my supervision since she's my apprentice. If Admiral Trend wants to speak with her, she can go through me." He motioned Rey to follow him. She hesitated a few seconds before falling in line behind him and R2. She shot Poe a worried look, but he just smiled and nodded, silently conveying to her that everything was going to be fine.
They weaved through the tight horde of soldiers, which quickly reminded Rey how much she wasn't used to being surrounded by people. Her anxiety unwillingly rose as everyone stared at her, like she was their primary entertainment for the day.
The hallways that snaked into the mountain were empty since everyone was primarily outside. Luke seemed to be leading her to a specific place that was somewhere on the top level. He turned into a room as the lights illuminated overhead and Rey saw a small, dark rug in the center of the compact quarters. A chair was next to the door, but other than that, there was no other furniture.
Finn entered seconds after they did, breathing hard from catching up to them. "I thought you'd bring her here," he exhaled hard.
"You aren't staying with Poe?" Rey asked.
Finn stepped further inside and Rey noticed the slight limp in his right leg. Then she remembered his injury; the one Ben had given him.
Her hand stretched out to him, but then fell back to her side. "Finn, your back. Are you okay?"
He smiled sheepishly. "Oh, I'm fine, actually. The spinal implant worked like a charm and hopefully I'll be able to shake off this limp sometime soon. But hey, I can walk, which is great." Rey listened as Finn told her about his recovery, making sure she looked happy during his account. But guilt was stewing below, guilt over how she cared for the man who almost killed her best friend.
"Rey," Finn looked at her concerned. "What happened to you out there?" She glanced behind her, seeing Luke silently studying the exchange and patiently waiting for an explanation. Luke was being too quiet.
She stuck to the tale her and Poe agreed upon, mostly painting Ben in an ambiguous light, but giving enough detail for them to know he didn't hurt her.
"He stayed away from you and Poe?" Finn asked incredulously.
"Yeah, he would do his own thing while Poe and I figured out how to make the repairs to the freighter." She had never lied so much in her life, and she prayed she sounded convincing.
"So he really left the First Order then?" Luke finally cut in. Rey turned, addressing the older man.
Her hands started to shake, her mouth going dry. Damn, she was getting nervous. "Yes."
Those eyes of his were soft, but it felt like they could look right through her, past the thick walls and out into the snowy landscape. From being around Ben, she knew how to detect if her mind was being probed, but the Jedi Master did no such thing. This man knew how to read people without actually using any manner of the Force to do it, which, in retrospect, was probably worse.
Luke cocked his head. "He wasn't interested in coming with you to the base?"
"No," Rey curtly responded. "He wanted to go out and be on his own."
Finn snorted. "Yeah, right. First thing that guy is going to do is go back to the First Order."
"No, he won't," Rey injected harshly, which took both Finn and Luke by surprise. Rey took a deep breath, calming down her growing frustration and smoothing out her taut face. "He seemed adamant on not returning there. And... I believe him."
Finn's brows furrowed in confusion, but he didn't contest Rey on her beliefs. Wheels were turning in his head and Rey wondered if he was starting to suspect the truth.
"I'm just so glad you're back," Finn breathed as he took her into another warm hug.
In that moment, she knew she should've responded with a me too, but refrained. Her heart wouldn't have been in those two, simple words, and she didn't want Finn to hear the strain in her voice.
"Finn, I need a moment alone with my apprentice." Finn was about to protest, but one look at Skywalker's face told him that would not be wise. He told Rey he would wait for her in the hallway and he'd give her a tour of the base when they were done. She conveyed her excitement over the idea before Finn exited the room and the door swiftly slid back into place.
Luke jumped straight to it. "What happened on Ahch-To?"
Rey knew where this was going. "I told you what happened."
He crossed his arms, for the first time giving off an aura of impatience. "You've said very little, actually. I saw you and my nephew running up the hill, away from the battle. How did you two find each other?"
She sucked in a breath. "He found me in the temple."
"And… what? He just told you he left the Order? That he wanted to help you get off the island? Keep in mind that while you were in the temple, his knights were trying to kill Chewie and I." He could sense she was hiding information, and Rey was feeling rattled from having to converse with Luke so soon after arriving.
She ground her teeth, trying to decide how much to divulge. "No, he didn't just tell me he left the Order."
"He tried to kill you," Luke surmised.
Silence.
Luke kept his voice emotionless. "Why didn't he?"
She tossed her stare downward, remembering that fight with Ben. "In the end, he couldn't do it."
Luke studied her. "How close did he get?"
She gulped. "Close."
His eyes searched her for injuries, but came up short. "You don't seem to be hurt."
Except the scar across my stomach… "He healed me while we were on Spira."
That shocked the Jedi Master. "He healed you?" She nodded as he blinked rapidly. "That's… unlike him," he confoundedly stated.
Rey became suddenly territorial over Ben's persona. "You haven't seen him in six years. How do you know what is and isn't like him?" Below Ben's threatening stare, dark power, and decisive ruthlessness was a kind heart, one that she was willing to defend.
"The healing of others resides more in the light side. It requires compassion." Oh… "What did he do to you? Other than the healing."
Her heart was jumpy and she wished she could throttle back the conversation, but she didn't know how without making it seem she was obviously hiding something. "Nothing. I told you he stayed away most of the time."
"You're lying." The statement extinguished the small amount of confidence Rey had left, but she tried to keep a collected face. "Something happened between the two of you or you wouldn't be acting so defensive."
She crossed her arms. "I'm telling you what's important."
"But I want to know everything, not just what you deem relevant."
She couldn't hold back her glare. "Don't you trust me?"
Luke rubbed his beard briefly, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. "Rey, you need to understand that the last time I turned a blind eye to an apprentice having difficulties, he fell to the dark side and murdered his own peers. I want to help you, but you have to be honest with me."
She tossed her arms dramatically while letting out an exasperated sigh. "But I said all there is to say! Ben stayed –"
"Ben?" Luke gaped at her. The moment dragged on as they stared at one another. The man standing before Rey didn't look like her master, but a man that had been rocked to his core.
He knows.
"Exactly how close did you two become?"
Rey's mouth felt like she'd just gulped down a liter of sand. She bit at the inside of her cheek, trying to control her panic. Her palms and underarms were sweaty and the moment she'd been dreading since reaching the base had finally arrived: a person she looked up to was now judging her for where she placed her heart.
She needed to leave, but her feet had somehow disconnected from her brain. The silence was all Luke needed to confirm his fears and his expression gradually melted into concern. "Rey, my nephew knows how to be manipulative, and whatever is happening between you two… it needs to stop. He can ruin you – like the dark side has ruined him."
"He isn't ruined." She couldn't get her voice above a whisper.
Luke inhaled deeply before walking to her. "He is not capable of fully caring for you. He's never cared about anyone but himself. If he made you think he did, it was for his own selfish reasons and nothing more." He tried to touch her shoulder, but she sidestepped his hand.
A switch was flipped on her emotions and her eyes filled with repulsion for the man in front of her. "Ben is your nephew; your family. And you're quick to dismiss him as lost? I thought Jedi believed that even the most corrupt could still come back to the light." Luke was dumbfounded by her outburst, but his features quickly hardened into anger, an emotion that looked so foreign on his face.
She strode out of the room, not waiting for him to respond. She sensed Finn down the hall and around the corner, but before she went to him, she took a minute to steady her beating heart.
Luke was wrong about Ben.
Not once had he tried to manipulate or drag her over to the dark side. The way he had touched her, talked with her, kissed her… it was all in the most tender ways possible. And if Luke could never understand that, then... well, she wouldn't have the Jedi train her anymore. If he doesn't want to save his nephew, then there was nothing she could learn from him.
()()()()()
Kylo strolled down the ramp, wearing his dark robes and leather belt as he held tightly onto his lightsaber. The freezing wind billowed at his thick attire and clawed at his skin, stinging his squinted eyes and evaporating his warm breath. A storm was crawling closer, its thick clouds denying the sun's rays access to the rocky island. If Ren hadn't have seen the sun before passing through the tempestuous clouds, he would've believed it was night for this section of the planet.
He didn't plan on being here long. He knew the risk of getting caught was great, but his curiosity was overpowering his rationality at the moment. No one was here – at least, that's what he sensed before flying through the planet's atmosphere. Ren had circled the island a few times before landing, searching for probe droids and coming up empty. Still, he was extremely paranoid and glanced at every boulder like a trooper was about to pop out and shoot him.
Quickly, he glided up the small walkway, his sight set on the dark opening in the rocky hill that led to the cavern. Correction: that led to the first Jedi Temple. His mind still basked at the thought that Skywalker actually found the mythical place.
Something felt off as he came to the opening, but he couldn't decipher what was warranting his uneasiness. With his lightsaber in hand and ignited for light, he crept down the stairs. The humming and crackling of the plasma blade comforted him as the sound echoed off the stone walls.
Ren quickly took a turn around the cavern, his observant eyes seeking anything of significance. Nothing stood out to him. Books and decaying relics were the only things here, causing his frustration to bloom in that familiar pit of his stomach. Rey did mention something about tunnels….
"See…" a voice, ethereal and light, came from the back. Kylo tensed, knowing that no living being was here. But he'd heard the voice like it had been carried over to him on a breeze. Everything was bathed in red as he cautiously stalked past the bookshelves and up to the tunnel opening. On the ground, just off to his right, was a light orb. Mentally, he commanded it to activate and it shot into the air, emitting a glowing light that was easier to see with than the red of his saber.
Pushing aside the small tinge of fear and disengaging his weapon, he walked deeper into the island while the light orb followed. With each step, the air grew colder, causing his exhales to form into thick, white clouds. The long passage opened into a much wider and grander room than the library, the ceiling arching high above him and his footfalls resonating in the expansive place.
This chamber was completely barren, but the atmosphere was turbulent, as if threatening to tear open the fabrics of reality and toss him inside. He stood at the very center, his gut plummeting and warning him to leave immediately. Ren tried to breathe as he turned –
Han stood between him and the exit, freezing every single molecule that made up Ren's tall, broad frame. He wasn't even sure he was still breathing, nor could he remember how. The face of his father was younger, much younger than when he'd last seen him. No wrinkles lined his face, and he was wearing his favorite brown leather jacket, with a beige shirt and blue trousers.
Han grinned as he walked brusquely up to Ren, who cowered away in fear. Ren stared wide eyed and braced for some type of physical touch, but none came. His father walked right past him, his sights set on something else. Ren whirled around to view a white room with various types of medical equipment lining the walls and pushed into corners.
"Leia," Han spoke quietly as he sat next to a very tired Leia in a plush, white bed. She smiled at her husband, beaming with a pure form of joy Ren had never seen on her face before. Something was bundled in her arms, cooing, drawing Ren closer. Thick, raven hair was sticking out of the top and was attached to the face of a chubby newborn baby. Han brushed the baby's cheek with his finger, making the newborn stir and turn toward the touch.
His father gazed at the baby with so much pride, it was almost unbearable to watch. How many times had Ren wished for Han to look at him in such a way? How many times had he dreamed of seeing that expression?
Too many times to count.
"I can't believe we made this. He's so beautiful." Han never looked away from the baby, from… him – from Ben. This was Ben at the very beginning of his life and his parents were giving him their undivided attention, looking at him with all the love they possessed.
"Well, I did most of the work, but yes, we made this little boy. Our son." Han chuckled and bent down to kiss Leia tenderly. The moment was simple, but something foreign to Ren's eyes. Growing up, his father was either away at one of his races or fighting with Leia while at home. He never saw these small snippets unfold between them. It made Ren uncomfortable to be witnessing it now.
Leia placed her head back against the pillow. "Did you get ahold of Luke?"
Han nodded. "He's almost here." His father cleared his throat softly. "Ya know, he suggested the same name again."
All traces of exhaustion lifted from Leia's features as her eyes bore into Han. "What did you tell him?" Han remained silent. "Han? You told him no, right?"
Han shifted in his chair, trying to find the right words. "Well, not exactly…."
Leia sat upright, stirring the baby in her arms and glaring at her husband. "I'm not naming my son Obi-Wan and you should've told him the same," she harshly whispered.
Han lifted his hands defensively, trying to put on a cool smile. "I know, I know. It's just… you should've heard how excited Luke was to see the baby, and I didn't want to crush the kid's spirits."
Leia looked as if she wanted to strangle him. "No, you're just leaving the spirit crushing to me, aren't you?"
Han shrugged. "You are his sister."
Leia groaned and rested her head back. "Fine. I'm going to fix this mess you got us into. As I always do."
The baby moved and Leia started to shush the little bundle before it fully woke. "Maybe we should just go with Obi-Wan," Han suggested. "We haven't been able to agree on a name and the baby is finally here."
Leia's gave him a flat stare. "That isn't even funny."
Han was fighting back a grin and failing profusely. "I thought it was sorta funny…."
A few seconds passed before Leia gave in and smiled at the ridiculous man. The baby was fully awake, its eyes darting around as it tried to focus on the new surroundings. Gently, Leia started to shift the baby over to Han. "Would you like to hold him?"
Fear plagued Han's face and he sharply shook his head. "Uhhhh… I've never held a baby before. What if I break him?" He laughed nervously.
"Han, this is your son and you'll be holding him a lot. You might as well learn right now how to do it." She all but threw the little thing into Han's arms, forcing him to hold the small, cooing baby.
Han eased into the feeling of holding his son and resumed studying the innocent little face. "He's so tiny."
Leia positioned herself better on the bed and fluffed the pillow behind her. "Babies often are," she offhandedly stated.
Han started to walk around the room, awing and cooing like he was trying to talk to the baby in its native language. It didn't last long before he ditched his efforts and went to Galactic Basic. "Don't worry, kid. We won't name you after old Ben. Between you and me, that guy was a kook."
Leia sat upright. "What did you just say?"
Han turned around, but kept his attention on the baby. "Obi-Wan guy was a kook. We all know it –"
"No, you said old Ben."
Han glanced up, wondering what Leia was trying to get at. "That was his nickname. Luke called him that early on…. What's wrong?"
"Ben. That's it. That's our son's name."
Han gazed down at the baby in his arms. "Ben," he muttered, finding that it fit with the baby's face perfectly. "Well, look at us. We finally agreed on something. Luke's gonna to be so happy."
"I didn't choose the name to appease my brother, it's just the right name for him. The fact that Ben is Obi-Wan's nickname is an added bonus." She stretched her arms out and Han gave their son back to his mother's embrace.
"You're gonna let Luke think that you listened to him, aren't ya?"
Leia smiled at little Ben as a glint of mischief sparkled in her eyes. "It wouldn't be so bad for him to owe me a huge favor for 'letting' him name our son."
Han let out a vibrant laugh as he gave her a look of admiration. "You're a clever woman."
"Don't forget who has the brains in this relationship."
"I never do, sweetheart. I never do." He bent over and kissed her softly.
The scene started to fade and the harder Ren tried to hold on to it, the faster it disintegrated. It gradually morphed into the comms station aboard the Millennium Falcon, with Han tensely sitting and frowning at the holoprojection of Leia.
"You can't do this to him, Leia. That kid has been looking forward to going to that traveling museum for over a year now."
"Don't lecture me, Han," she bit back. "I have to watch over Ben while you're gone the majority of the year. You don't understand how hard it is to juggle the Senate and being a parent."
Han leaned forward, rubbing his distressed face. "You said it was fine for me to go, so I went. Leia, this will devastate him and you know it. He doesn't have any friends and all he does is study and keep to himself. You can ditch the Senate for once."
"I can't. This bill the Centrists are trying to pass –" Han threw his hand forward and cut off the transmission, staring furiously at the place Leia's face had once been. He sat back and let out a deep breath, his shoulders sagging inward.
Ren watched his father for a long while, wondering if the scene had somehow froze. Finally, Han stood and dashed for the cockpit as Ren followed close behind. Chewie was lounging in the co-pilot chair and glanced alarmingly at his friend's sudden appearance.
"Re-route us back to Hosnian Prime," Han ordered. Chewie roared questioningly and Han took a few breaths before responding.
"That kid deserves better parents than us…"
"Raaaargh arrrrrg." You two are great parents. Chewie's reassurance did not comfort Han.
"Sometimes, I wonder if we're being too selfish, ya know? I love flying too much and I had hoped Ben would love it to, but he doesn't. I don't even know how to talk to him anymore…." Both remained silent, thinking over the statements Han just made. Chewie turned and started charting a route back home as Han sat in the pilot's chair, gazing at the streaking dimension of hyperspace.
The vision folded in on itself, which caused Ren to become disoriented and fall flat on his rear. As his hands braced against the floor, a sharp pain blossomed in both his palms. The floor was littered with glass and the small fragments became embedded into his open hands. A long counter formed to his right and a tall figure loomed above him, dark and formidable.
That man was him… in the diner… on Er'kit.
Ren deduced from the empty café and the broken glass that he'd just found out his mother had been lying to him his whole life.
Ren stood, remembering all too well what happened next. The data pad dinged and he watched himself clutch onto it. He waited for it to fly across the room, but… Ben kept staring at it. What is he doing? Slowly, Ben opened the message and his mothers distraught face filled the screen.
"Ben, you've probably heard by now –" Ren covered his ears and backed up until he hit the far wall next to the entrance.
No, this isn't what happened. This isn't right! His head shook as if he could make the vision disappear by denying its plausibility.
The succession of images that came next showed him a life that never happened, a life that was so outrageously out of the scope of reality that he couldn't look away.
His uncle found him at the diner and confessed about where the blood in his veins truly came from. Luke begged Ben to stay in the Jedi Order, and he reluctantly agreed as his uncle handed his lost lightsaber back to him. Ben remained with his uncle and eventually was able to talk to his mother. Shockingly, his father had contacted him and he watched how they gradually mended their relationship so they were on speaking terms. Han would even come a few times a year to visit him at the academy, encouraging him to keep his inner darkness at bay.
Something was still calling him out to the stars, however, and it wasn't Snoke. Ben followed the feeling straight to Jakku, searching for the beacon that reached out to him. He discovered Rey, a malnourished girl of fifteen, but one who was extremely strong in the Force. Their connection was palpable from the start and it helped in convincing her to leave the barren planet and live a far different life at the academy.
Ben became her mentor, keeping a watchful eye over her training. As she became older, the line between mentor and friend began to blur. By the time she was nineteen, they were best friends and had become inseparable.
The threat of the First Order brought the Jedi out of their peaceful existence and into the foreboding war. Ben and Rey fought side by side on Starkiller base, working together to try and stop the weapon from being used. At one point, Ben was briefly taken out of the fight, and having lost her lightsaber, Rey called Ben's to her and saved them both from certain death. It was the dream he had of her since he was ten, and now it had finally come to fruition.
Their friendship grew into something much deeper and much more profound as they kept fighting the First Order together.
The images were fast and spanned over years, but Ren was able to understand them for what they were. This would have been his life if he had just opened that message from his mother – if he had chosen to stay with his uncle and not seek out Snoke as his master.
All these possibilities finally formed into one, solid picture: Ben standing outside of a medical facility aboard a ship, looking battered, bruised, and exhausted.
"Ben!" Han came darting down the hallway and ran right into his son, almost causing them both to fall over. "I didn't know if you guys made it out before the temple collapsed…"
Ben patted his father's back, trying to comfort the old and shaken man. "We made it. I'm fine, but Rey is having surgery." Han drew back, looking more worried, if that was even possible. "The power it took for her to kill Snoke almost..." Ben's voice cracked. "He almost killed her. I almost –"
"No," Han interrupted. "You aren't responsible for her injuries, okay? Snoke is." Han squeezed Ben's shoulders, grabbing his full attention. "But she's alive, kid. She made it; you both did. That's what matters." Ben smiled, but the expression reach his ears. "What about Kayani?"
"I don't know," he uttered quietly.
Han swallowed, focusing more on his son's solemn face. "And what about you? The darkness inside of you…." Han's voice tapered off as Ben shook his head.
"It was stupid of me to think that by killing Snoke, I could rid that side of myself, but it's still there. Its roots go too deep." Ben's lips quivered and he shut his eyes, causing the tears to spill over.
Han embraced him, letting the young man cry into his shoulder. Ben clutched fiercely onto his father as the muffled sobs rolled out from his chest. "I'm sorry, Ben. I'm so sorry."
Minutes passed until Ben could finally find the words to speak. "What if I'm broken?" His voice was childlike. Scared.
Han pulled back, grasping hard onto the boy's shoulders. His eyes held a determination that was rarely seen. "Look at me, kid." Ben craned his head up, hiccuping back the tail end of his cries. "I might just be a smuggler and according to your mother, a scoundrel, but I know a good person when I see one and that's exactly what you are. Sure, you've had some setbacks along the way, but who hasn't. I just wish you never had any of these powers –"
"I know," Ben interrupted as his face became plastered with shame. "You always wanted a normal son."
Han was unblinking as he spoke quickly. "Yes, I wanted you to be normal, but so you'd be spared from this life you've been living. I don't know much about the Force, but I do know how the dark side ruins people. I didn't want that to happen to you. I didn't want you to struggle." He pointed his finger in Ben's face. "But don't think for one moment that I'm not proud of you, because I am, Ben. I am proud of you for fighting and I am proud to be your father."
Ben nodded, not knowing what to say. "I love you, son," Han said truthfully.
Ben put his hand on his fathers shoulder, giving him a small and genuine smile. "I love you, too. Thanks... dad."
A throat cleared and both men turned to see Dr. Kalonia. Ben immediately tensed and his face fell.
The good doctor smiled and held her hand up in assurance. "She's fine. I was able to fix the damage to her ribs and she's now resting. She should be waking up in the next thirty minutes." Ben held onto Han to keep himself upright. "There seems to be no damage to the fetus. The heart beat is still strong and there was no bleeding in Rey's uterus, but I'm still going to monitor her for a few days just in case."
Both men froze. "Fetus?" Ben asked, his face paling.
Harter looked at Ben quizzically. "You didn't know she was pregnant?" Ben shook his head and the doctor let out a relieved breath. "And here I was, about to lecture you on letting her fight while pregnant, but it turns out you didn't know."
Han shook Ben lightly, catching his attention. "You didn't sense this through the Force or something?
Ben was speechless, trying to replay the last few months in his mind. "I've been preoccupied lately; you know, with the whole war going on." He glanced at the doctor anxiously. "How far along is she?"
"From the measurements, it would seem ten weeks. You two didn't question when she missed her period?"
More prying questions came his way that forced him to think harder, when all his body wanted to do was pass out from shock and exhaustion. "I – Well, Rey was so malnourished growing up that she's never been consistent. I just thought…." Ben's voice teetered off as the news finally sunk in, making his face glow with elation.
Han broke through the lull in the conversation first. "I'm gonna be a grandfather." His stare was distant and a huge grin stretched from ear to ear.
Ben studied his father and clapped him on the back. "It looks that way, old man."
Han shot him a glare. "Who you callin' old, ya moof-milker." Ben smiled and laughed a truly joyous laugh, one that was rarely ever heard and was saved for only the most perfect of occasions.
Blink.
Somehow, Ren had ended up back in the library, his eyes staring straight ahead at the relics on the tables and stone walls. The removal of that scene had sucked every last drop of strength out of him and he had no idea where to begin processing what he just witnessed and felt.
All at once, a tremendous emotion boiled in his gut, and as it swelled and the pressure grew inside his body, his eyes darted frantically around the room as if he could find a way back into that alternate reality. The bookshelves started to rattle and every antique in the room began to bounce from the energy emitted. The shaking of the objects crescendo into a roar, warning him of an impending eruption, but he couldn't find it in him to care in the slightest.
Ren's fists tightened so hard, that they trembled like they were the wings of a fly… and it was when he stared down at them that he hit bottom.
The pain that struck him was cosmic, a big bang that splintered him apart and sent his atoms scrambling out of his core. All thought, all reasoning was lost and he had no other choice but to submit to its will. The scream pealed out of his lungs and the energy exploded from his chest, causing anything that was not bolted down to smash into the curved walls. Which, in this case, was everything. Wood splintered and objects shattered beyond recognition, morphing into the perfect metaphor of his life.
His screams sounded utterly foreign to his ears, but the sound of the destruction he caused was a familiar and welcoming noise. Ren was very aware he was breaking down, that the fissure had been opened by that trip down the hall and now his mind had fractured.
Sometime during the break, he had fallen to the ground and balled himself up into a fetal position. He kept screaming to the point of asphyxiation and he wished he could just stop breathing and die on the floor of the filthy place.
All his life, he'd kept himself separated from his emotions. He'd been born into a family who neglected him. He'd done horrible things and had horrible things done unto him. He had hardened himself, his mind and emotions morphing into durasteel.
This man he'd become had been wrong about shutting down, had been wrong to commit to self-containment. That possible future he'd just witnessed was a testament of how he could've had the family he always wanted, he could've had his father be proud of him and love him. If he hadn't been quick to give up on his family in that café, it could have been different.
Pushing out his feelings was not a case of strength, as he told himself so many times before. Ben had been strong in that vision, Ben had defeated Snoke with Rey's help. Ben had his father's respect, all because he chose to love and forgive.
Being emotionless had been all about survival… and he simply couldn't keep it up anymore.
With his throat raw and his lungs on fire, his screaming subsided into moans. Those didn't last long either, as he fell deeper into the pit of his own self-loathing. The cavern was silent and dark as he remained on the cold floor, staring through his droopy eyelids.
Ren hadn't shed a tear. Not one. He was far past the point of crying and fully in the territory of numb agony, with no end in sight.
I killed my father. I killed him and he is never coming back. I murdered him to stay in the dark.
The reasoning behind the killing seemed so small to him now when it had been such an important detail before.
A small part of him knew he shouldn't linger in the temple, but his body wouldn't obey his command to move. If someone found him, hopefully they would have the wherewithal to put him out of his misery, because it was hard for him to give a shit about his life at the moment.
Rey.
How broken was he that he didn't care enough to stick around, even for her? Him dying would solve a lot of people's problems and he no doubt deserved it. But in the end, would he be able to face death, like the friend it's always been?
Gods, he really wanted to see Rey right now. Those visions of seeing her when she was fifteen and watching her grow into a woman were not enough for him. He needed to touch her, to escape in her. The life he could've had –
But didn't that entity inside of Rey say that his fall was necessary? She made it sound like it was pre-ordained to happen, no matter what. So was what he just ever even an option, or was the Force blatantly tormenting him?
He inwardly scoffed at his questions, for in the end, it didn't even matter. This was his life now, and he would have to see it through till his heart stopped beating. But damn, that vision was going to torture him for the rest of his existence. Him and Rey had been together. Like, deeply together. Together to the point of her being pregnant and him acting elated over the news.
And Ben had obviously loved her.
Ben is me though, so does that mean I love her? What the hell does that even feel like?
Ren's emotions had been turned off for so long that he wasn't sure he was capable of loving someone. All he'd ever known was steeped in blackened holes. Love did not dwell there; it only dwelled in the light and within good people.
He would be lying to himself if he denied how much he wanted Rey to love him, even after everything he'd done.
Something moved into the cavern, pushing aside the plethora of broken shelving and torn apart books. Finally. Took them long enough. Ren stayed still, waiting for some sort of shouting or the sound of a blaster bolt echoing throughout the chamber, but nothing happened.
Fear broke through, reminding him that a part of him did not, in fact, want to die. He'd been afraid of death on Starkiller base and he was afraid of death now. Well, a certain part of him was – the part of himself that was a coward. Through the fog of his hazy mind, he tried to decide which of the two sides was more prominent: the one seeking that everlasting slumber, or the one afraid of not existing anymore?
A hard object nudged his foot, followed by a series of beeps.
"Are you alive?" it asked in binary.
No.
The annoying presence belonged to a droid, and Ren wished he never learned how to understand the dualistic beeps. The droid basked him in light, which caused Ren to crane his head toward the small, round pest. "Are you okay?"
Kylo sat up, ignoring the droids pesky questions. The room was in absolute chaos as his eyes roamed over the evidence of his emotional blow out. Fortunately, the droid let him be and refrained from trying to pry further.
He stood, deciding that if no one was going to show up and off him, he would need to leave the island before he had more painful visions. He dragged his body up and as he turned to leave, the droid shrieked for him not to go. Ren pivoted around, getting a good look at the tiny thing. It was a BB unit with orange and white –
His mouth fell open as he realized this droid was none other than BB-8, the same droid Rey had been willing to risk her life to save.
"Have you been hiding in here ever since the battle?" Ren asked. BB-8's half domed head nodded before he set off a series of rushed beeps.
"Are you with the Resistance? Can you get me back to Poe Dameron? Don't leave me here; I'm scared." The last thing Ren needed was a tag along, but this droid meant a lot to Rey… and Poe.
"I'm not with the Resistance, but I can help you find a way back to their base." BB-8 spun in delight and darted directly at Ren. "But lets make one thing clear." The droid halted. "No questioning my methods and I don't make small talk. Understand?" If this droid was anything like his master, he would try to fill lulls of silence with a conversation.
The droid's head lowered and let out a sad coo, but agreed to the terms. "Good. My ship is outside." Ren headed for the stairs and tripped over his feet when he saw a small book next to the entrance. He regained his balance and scooped up the small, leather bound notebook, his fingers brushing across the three words inscribed on the front.
Rey's Survival Guide
Is this the journal she was talking about?
He opened to the first page and his eyes immediately went to the self-portrait she had drawn. The likeness was remarkable and he traced the outline of her face lightly, not wanting to smudge the picture. I didn't know she could draw…. To the left was some writing and his eyes quickly scanned the first few sentences.
If you're reading this, then something's gone wrong.
You're stranded on Jakku - a barren little planet with nothing but baking sand, hot sun, and wrecked starships (accurate description, Ren thought to himself).
Stranded, like me.
My name is Rey. I've been here my whole life, scratching out a living with the lost and the broken. I don't know how I got here, or why. But I know it was a mistake – and somebody out there will make things right, someday.
The light of the sun soared down the stairway, making Ren glance through the rocky opening. He went outside and was met with the warmth of the sun's rays on his pale face. Closing his eyes, he craned his head and basked in the heat upon his skin. For so long, he'd hid away from the light, but in that moment, it felt like it was wrapping him in warm arms and welcoming back a friend that had long since been missed.
BB-8 beeped to his right. "Why do you think they came back and destroyed it?"
Ren lifted his lids and glanced over, seeing for the first time the big pile of ash and blackened stump near the temple opening. He walked closer, remembering that a huge tree used to be in that exact spot.
His brows pinched together as he knelt down next to the droid, touching the tree's remains with his fingers. "Who did this?" It couldn't have happened during the battle; there would be more damage around the surrounding area.
"I heard Tie fighters land and then the sound of flames engulfing the tree."
The First Order, he thought. Why risk coming back here to destroy a tree?
The last time Ren was here, he'd felt how concentrated the Force had been in that spot. He assumed it was one of those Force trees Skywalker liked to grow and study. That fact would not make the Order come back and destroy it, though. Nor would they know about it being a Force tree.
So many pieces to the puzzle floated in his mind, but he still didn't have enough to form a complete picture. It was frustrating, but Ren tried to push his focus back on the journey he was currently on. Rey's book was in his left hand, still on the page he'd been reading.
–and somebody out there will make things right, someday.
Ren was going to do right by her, because out of everyone in this broken down galaxy, she absolutely deserved a life of comfort and happiness. Somehow, he was going to make that happen.
Shame spread throughout his body as he recalled how he wanted to die in that cavern, how a small part of him still wanted to. He'd been so quick to give up and leave her. If he had perished, it would've been impossible for Rey to live a long and joyous life….
So, Poe was right, it turned out. He was selfish.
BB-8 and Ren made the short journey back to the ship in silence. He had to levitate BB-8 to the upper level, since he didn't have the patience to wait for the lift to function properly, but the droid didn't seem to mind. Ren was pretty sure the little thing actually enjoyed it.
In the cockpit, he looked over to the temple entrance and the fallen tree one last time. Other than the infinite misery he acquired from the Force apparitions, he'd found nothing of significance inside the temple. That tree had to be why Snoke was so interested in this place, but it had to be more than just a Force tree to have caught his master's attention.
Ren would have to do some digging as he traveled.
The ship soared into the air, exiting the atmosphere and revealing the void of space. He charted a course to a planet he was vaguely familiar with and initiated the hyperdrive. Fuel was getting low, but he should have enough to get him to the next destination.
His mind drifted to his father, bringing that immense pressure back into his chest. Ren was never going to forgive himself for what he'd done, nor would he ever seek forgiveness for it. Since death was off the table for obvious reasons, he would find another way to punish himself. Something worthy of the crime he had committed.
The pain and guilt was going to rot him from the inside out, but he would have to live with it. He couldn't do anything for the dead. His father was gone. It was done. But the living…. He could take care of the living, and Rey definitely fell under that category.
Life went on.
No matter what the universe did to Ren, he would survive.
()()()()()
"And this is the dining hall." Rey followed Finn into a large, rectangular room. Tables lined the center and Finn guided them to the serving tables over to the right. They held a wide assortment of food that made Rey's mouth instantly water. "Dinner is in about an hour, but they usually keep snacks out during the day."
Rey grabbed a small, purple fruit and was about to take a bite when an unfamiliar voice broke through the room. "Finn!" A dark skinned woman with short hair and striking features strode up to him, her hard-pressed face looking aggravated.
"You're not at the training center," the woman observed.
"Oh, well, my friend needed a tour of the base so she wouldn't get lost." The woman just stared at Finn, waiting for more of an explanation. "Breaala, this is Rey. Rey, this is Breaala." Rey smiled, but Breaala didn't return the pleasantry. Instead, she eyed Rey up and down with something close to disinterest. Finn turned to Rey. "This is one of the ex-stormtroopers I was telling you about." Finn hadn't been kidding when he said this woman was tense and rarely smiled.
"Congratulations on getting your friend back," Breaala said through tight lips. "But you were the one who made this training schedule, and the Resistance put you in charge of acclimating us to how things are ran around here. You made a commitment and should stick to it – not give your friend a tour." Rey gaped at the woman's bluntness and felt slightly intimidated by her don't-mess-with-me-or-I'll-punch-you-in-the-face demeanor.
Finn, however, squared off at her with an air of authority Rey didn't know he even possessed. "Look, Breaala, I thought Rey was dead and I would never get to see her again. You're right in that I am your superior. And as such, I'm going to be spending the day with her. I do apologize for not letting you know, but I appointed you as my second so when I had something else to attend to, you'd be able to look after the ESC without me. If you want, you can have them run through the same drills from yesterday, or give them the day off. It's up to you. But I don't want you bothering me for the rest of the day unless there's an emergency. Understood?"
The tense moment dragged on a little too long, and Rey wondered if she should leave the two of them alone. "Understood," Breaala relented. She turned and left the hall with her fists balled at her sides and her jaw locked in frustration.
Finn relaxed his shoulders, letting a long exhale escape his lungs.
"She's, uh… a lot," Rey noted.
Finn chuckled and grabbed a handful of snacks to eat during the rest of their excursion. "That's one word to describe her. She's just used to everything being on a rigorous schedule. It's how we were raised." Rey bit into the fruit, the juice exploding in her mouth and dripping down her chin. She wiped the excess away while relishing in the pure, sweet flavor.
"And she doesn't mind with how firm you were being with her?" Rey asked around her chewing.
"Nah. We were brought up to respect authority. It would piss her off even more if I was too polite to her."
"What exactly is ESC?"
"Ex-Stormtrooper Community. I thought they should have some sort of name instead of being referred to as 'them'."
"And you're really their superior?"
"Yeah, but I don't have an official title, which is okay. I don't mind going by Finn." Rey smiled, feeling a sense of pride for him.
Finn caught wind of her expression and looked puzzled. "What?"
"Nothing. It's just, you really looked like a person to be reckoned with. And you seem to have a handle on your responsibilities here." He shied away from her compliments, but still thanked her for the praise.
The rest of the tour flew by quickly. Rey immediately gravitated toward the mechanic hangar and the spare parts shed, her fingers itching to tinker and fix whatever she could find. She wondered if the mechanics would let her help them during her spare time, which she now had a lot of. After the fight with Master Skywalker, she wasn't sure if he'd be training her anymore and she felt confused over that prospect. She wanted to be a Jedi and she wanted to learn, but she couldn't be around him if he truly had given up on his nephew.
When they made their way back to the dining hall for dinner, they found Poe already there, sitting at an empty table, picking at a plate of food. Since the refectory wasn't full of people quite yet, both Finn and Rey bypassed the serving table and headed straight to their friend. His presence had been sequestered by Admiral Trend the majority of the day and Rey had worried something had gone wrong during his debrief.
Poe stood with a mouthful of food as he gave Finn an enveloping hug. Rey sat down, waiting for them to be done with their greeting.
"How was talking with Admiral Trend?" Finn asked as they settled in.
"She repeated the same questions to me over and over again, but gradually became tired of it all. She's no General Organa, that's for sure." The air became thick as the three of them thought about the general's whereabouts.
Shortly after starting their tour, Finn had explained to Rey what had happened. Everyone seemed lost without the general and no one liked this new admiral, but all of them followed her orders since she was the highest-ranking official on the base. Rey was not eager to meet the woman.
They spoke of the general and where she could possibly be, but seeing how none of them knew anything concrete, the conversation didn't last long. Rey kept contemplating whether to contact Ben, but how would she be able to convey what happened to his mother through their bond? With emotions? And even if she did somehow let him know, what would he do about it? Their mother-son relationship was complicated, to put it mildly, and he probably wouldn't offer to help search for her either.
Rey hated admitting it, but the main reason she didn't contact Ben was so she didn't have to feel him refuse to help save his own mother. She didn't need another act of his looming over her conscience.
Finn stood while glancing at the food near the entrance. "I'm gonna grab some food." He glanced to Rey. "You want me to fix you up a plate?"
"Please."
Once Finn was out of earshot, she turned her attention to Poe.
He quickly spoke before she could get a word in. "I know what you're going to ask, but the story is solid. Don't worry."
Rey rested her hands on the table and started to fiddle with her fingers. "What if Admiral Trend suspects something?"
"She doesn't and even if she did, how could she prove anything? Everyone is just so glad we're back, that no one is going to look into the matter further. They'll take our word for it, because that's all they can do. And no one would go up against you since they all know how you almost killed Ren on Starkiller base." Poe gave her a side smile. "You're racking up quite a formidable reputation, from what I hear." Rey glanced at Finn, watching him as he filled two trays with food. It was obvious he told a few people about what she'd done, and the news had spread through the ranks of gossip quickly.
She'd been hoping it would have stayed quiet.
"Well, don't go adding to the story by telling people we also dueled on Ahch-To."
Poe rolled his eyes as he downed his drink and wiped the excess from his lips. "Rey, I do know how to keep a secret."
"Uh huh." Poe was not the most discreet person and had a tendency of accidentally letting something slip.
Rey picked at her nails, trying to settle into the fact that she was now at the Resistance base.
"How are you holding up with being here?" Poe asked, his voice taking on a more serious tone.
Rey shrugged. "It's weird," she muttered. "I'm not used to being around so many people or being in such a large building, but I'll acclimate. I always do."
"You, uh, hear anything from him?"
Rey had not been expecting Poe to ask her about Ben. "No. I told you how he wanted to keep the connection closed. And I can't just hear him through it. That's not how it works." He must not remember that she had explained this to him, like, a dozen times already.
"But you can feel him, right?" She nodded. "And nothing?"
Is there a pinch of worry in his voice?
"Nothing. But being this closed off from him makes me anxious." She rolled her shoulders like she could somehow get rid of the itchy feeling.
Poe took a big bite of something dark and goopy. "Yeah," he said between chews. "Who knows what he'll do with you not bein' around."
Rey gave him a flat stare. "Not helping."
He gulped. "Sorry."
As dinner progressed, some of the other pilots came and joined them. It was clear to Rey that they were all ecstatic to have their commander and friend back. Rey quickly warmed up to the boisterous bunch as she laughed at their jokes and listened to their stories.
Joph Seastriker was the one telling most of the tales. He had a way of speaking that held Rey's captivation and allowed her to perfectly visualize his adventures. Snap Wexley, the oldest of the group, had a very rowdy sense of humor and was the type of person who tried to never take things too seriously. Some of his jokes were hard to understand and Rey attributed that to her sheltered life. She was sure with time she'd come to understand their undertones, but for now, she laughed and pretended she got the punch line.
Jess and Rey had met before she had left for Ahch-To, so their greeting was not as in depth as it had been with the others. It was nice to have another girl at the table, and Rey had almost squealed when she found out they were going to be rooming together. She admired Jess immensely for being one of the few women pilots in the Resistance and felt that they were quickly becoming friends.
A few times, Rey paused and looked around at the joyous group. She already felt so welcomed into their little circle and felt extremely grateful that none of them turned her away. Back on Jakku, she would laugh and joke with her imaginary friends, and then she would cry when her rational mind brought her back to reality. Now, it was actually happening. Her dream was now corporeal… and Ben was not here to see it.
After dinner, the group walked Rey through the multiple hangars, showing her all the different ships the Resistance had in its arsenal. For the most part, she was interested. She asked her questions and nodded her head and held a conversation, but Ben was never far from her mind. She wished he was here with her, but that was a silly thing to wish for. These people would never accept him; they would all try to kill him if they had the chance.
Her and Ben lived in two separate worlds, which was made more evident the longer she was on base. What kind of future could they have if their two worlds couldn't meld into one?
She wondered what he was doing and where he was going and if he ever thought about their questionable future together.
That night, as she slept on the top bunk of her and Jess's room, her mind floated through her turbulent dreams before settling into her quaint home of the AT-AT on Jakku. She'd been half expecting to find Ben there, but he wasn't. Instead, someone else was waiting for her, someone she'd never seen before, but whose presence felt oddly familiar.
A woman with light red hair and pale features stood before her, exuding a heavy dose of dominance and mystical energy. "Hello, Rey."
This woman was the last person Rey wanted to see as she remembered what Ben had told her. "What do you want?"
"You and I are long overdue for a conversation."
Rey arched a brow. "And whose fault is that?"
The woman's face remained still, revealing nothing. "You're indignation toward me is not necessary."
A sardonic laugh escaped Rey's lips. "You seem to believe you know what's necessary for other people."
"Once I tell you the truth, your feelings toward me will change." This woman was assuming a lot, and it annoyed Rey profusely.
"I doubt that," Rey sneered. The woman fell silent, her eyes grazing over Rey's hardened expression. Rey tried to will her dream to change, but nothing happened. The woman remained and Rey was going to have to listen to what she had to say.
()()()()()
Lothal was a planet in the Outer Rim Territories that did not have a strong tie to the First Order. Its day and night cycles were opposite of Carlac's, so Ren chose to begin his journey there, on a world of no importance.
The planet was home to many diverse environments including plains, farmland, mountains, spine tree forests, and seas. During the age of the Galactic Empire, the creating of mines and the emissions of pollutants had disrupted many of their echo systems. The environment had bounced back rather quickly, though, which was evident by the rolling clouds and the lush, rippling grasslands.
Ren flew toward the city of Jalath, one of the bigger settlements on Lothal. Ren wanted to blend in, and Jalath seemed like a good place to start since it was rather a large city located far from the capital. The town was divided into different working sections made up of farming, cantina's, retail stores, and mechanic shops. Most of the houses stayed to the north, making up the urban living of the families that worked the area.
He searched for a landing pad near a shipyard and found one in the outer section of the city. Before he did anything, he would need to get more fuel… with money he did not have. He wasn't exactly sure how he was going to go about doing this, but more than likely a mind trick would be involved – or a bit of threatening, preferably without the Force.
Before going down to the cargo bay, he changed his appearance so he could pass as a regular civilian. He kept on his usual black trousers, but paired it with a plain black shirt and slid on the grey leather jacket Poe had left behind. It fit perfectly, which surprised Ren.
The pilot really must have stolen it in a hurry if he didn't notice the large size.
Ren tried to exit the ship without BB-8, which caused the droid to beep in such frenzy, he thought the round nuisance might accidentally hurt itself. So the droid followed him to the shops front entrance, somehow acting proud of getting its way, even though it didn't have the facial capabilities to show it. Pretentious little droid… Damn thing reminded him too much of Artoo.
The air was on the cusp of winter, evidenced by the fact that the wind chill cut through his clothes quite easily. Ren thrived more in colder climates, anyway, so he didn't mind in the slightest that he wasn't bundled up enough to be outdoors.
The door didn't slide open from detecting his arrival and from peering inside the window, it looked as if no one was there. The sun was setting and the shop had probably closed for the day, but Ren needed to acquire some fuel as soon as possible. He preferred to be prepared for anything and everything, and that included needing to bolt at a moments notice.
I could break in and steal it…
Him and BB-8 rounded their way to the back, searching the side of the building for a way to get in. He remembered seeing a garage door near where he landed the ship.
A loud crash came from the inside and Ren paused, waiting to hear if another noise would accompany it. Sure enough, another one did and Ren scolded himself for not scanning the building for life forms. More loud clashes and some shouting raised Ren's curiosity. He found a door with a small, circular window and peaked inside.
Three scruffy looking men were roughing up an unarmed man against a wall. By the look of the man's greasy overalls and some prying with the Force, Ren knew this was the mechanic who owned and ran the shop. A tall, bald guy was watching the promenade and saying something Ren couldn't hear. Ren was about to unlock the door and…. and what? Save the mechanic? Kill these men?
Helping people was not a talent of his.
Ren's hand faltered over the door pad, remembering what Rey had said about looking for trouble. He needed to blend in and act normal, and the normal thing to do in this situation would be to mind his own business… right? Maybe if he actually knew what it felt like to be normal, he could make a decision that fell under the category.
He was about to turn away when he heard a high-pitched scream, which could only belong to one thing: a child. A Rodian male entered the workshop carrying a small, thrashing toddler in his left hand, and dragging a very pregnant woman in his other. This caused the mechanic to understandably try to break free from his three captors, but all that got him was a hard strike across the face.
Ren stood frozen, absorbing the scene into his swarming mind. The girl's dark hair whipped from side to side as the thug dug his hands into her creamy skin, inflicting pain on her small body. The impression Ren received upon seeing her was overwhelming and it was hard to look away.
This small, seemingly insignificant little girl was immensely powerful in the Force and had an important future ahead of her. What that future was, Ren did not know.
The woman was pushed onto the floor, trying to claw her way to the screaming child, but the man kicked her square in the stomach, causing her to double over in agony. The mechanic screamed with rage.
Ren had no idea how it happened, but one second he was outside, and the next, he was standing in the room, inconspicuously hidden behind some barrels.
"I already payed Danzan," the mechanic yelled. "What do you think he'll do to you when he finds out you're undermining him, Sheldom? Just leave! I won't say anything."
"Well, I wasn't paid. So how about we just take your little girl as a payment for –" Ren stepped further into the workspace when the bald man, Sheldom, spoke of the exorbitant price. The attention of the room fell on Ren, causing everyone to look at him in shock. The bald one was quick to regain his composure as he sneered, "This shop is closed. Get out, or we'll make ya."
"No," Ren growled. His palm twitched for his lightsaber, but he had left it on the ship so he wouldn't be tempted to use it on anyone. It had taken him less than five minutes to find someone worthy of being put in a grave, and didn't have the means of doing so. But Ren was nothing if not creative.
The guy's lip curled up, causing his crooked nose to scrunch his weathered face. "This is none of your business, sonny." The man motioned to one of his thugs, silently telling him to take care of the prying problem.
Ren didn't give the ratty guy a chance to touch him.
He grabbed the thug's arm, locking him in place as he slammed his boot into the man's knee, hearing a decisive pop. Ren went after the other two, quickly bringing them down before hearing the bald one shout over the scuffle.
Sheldom was holding the little girl, pointing a blaster to her head while the Rodian stood off to the left. The woman cried out for her daughter as the injured thugs moaned on the hard floor. The girl whimpered for her mother and shrieked when the man pressed the blaster barrel harder against her temple.
The bald man snarled, letting a trail of saliva slide down his chin. "If you even blink, I'll kill her." The mechanic joined in begging for the child's life, but the man paid them no attention. He kept his eyes on Ren.
Sweat beaded over Ren's forehead, causing his hair to stick to his skin. The adrenaline made him antsy, and he had to hold back the shaking that came with the rush of strength pouring into his veins.
He could sense the man's intent to kill her, which made Ren's heart pump frantically and his breathing to harden. Fortunately for Ren, he didn't need to move to cause the bastard pain.
It took a lot of concentration since he couldn't use his hands, but Ren commanded every muscle in the bald man's body to freeze. Knowing the thug couldn't pull the trigger, Ren stretched out his arm and Force pushed the Rodian across a table, tools hitting the floor.
He probably should've held back from using the Force, but honestly, who was going to care? Sure, there was a slight chance it would be reported to the First Order that a Force sensitive was on Lothal, but no one would be coming to check that out anytime soon. Besides, Ren had been the one appointed to hunting down Force sensitives and exterminating them, and with him now being gone from the Order, who were they going to send? No one, that's who. The Order had bigger game to go after than an insignificant person on an inconsequential planet.
Ren addressed the mechanic, a mixture of fear and admiration showing through his eyes. "Grab your daughter. The guy cannot move, I assure you."
The mechanic darted for the little girl, whose arms where outstretched toward the safety of her father's embrace. He went over to his wife on the floor, checking to see if she was hurt and letting her hold their small child.
The bald man's eyes looked around wildly, reminding Kylo of a caged animal searching for a miracle. Ren didn't want to give him one.
With a simple swipe of his hand, the guy would be dead. It would be so easy. Why not do it? He threatened this family and was going to take that little girl and do Force knows what to her.
Rey. The promise… Dammit.
Ren teetered very close to breaking his oaths and part of him didn't care. The release of power was so close, that it was blindingly painful not to give into it. His body yearned to feel that comfort of invincibility that came with killing, but… he made himself back off.
He called the bald man's blaster into his right hand before allowing the bastard to move. His four cronies were making their way over to their leader, all suffering from the various injuries Ren had inflicted.
Not one uttered a word.
Ren hungrily watched as they sprinted to the front of the shop and fled the building, their fear electrifying his being. It had felt good to fight someone with his fists. It made him feel more alive, more human. And the violence was definitely refreshing.
The high he experienced slowly disappeared, causing him to come back to the reality that there was a terrified family huddled on the floor behind him.
"Thank you," the mechanic whispered. He turned to see the grateful faces, but was at a loss as to what to say. Ren glanced at the blaster in his hand, wondering what he should do with it. His knuckles were bruised and throbbing with the beat of his heart as he clipped the blaster to his belt, deciding to keep it. "If you hadn't have helped us, I don't know what would have happened."
"They would've taken your child," Ren said bluntly.
The mechanic cleared his throat. "Yeah, I guess they would have." Silence coated the room and Ren decided that he could wait until tomorrow to figure out the fuel situation. He glided over to where he had entered earlier, noticing BB-8 in the doorway. The droid had just witnessed that whole debacle and was no doubt going to ask him questions later.
"Did you need help with something?" Ren paused, looking back at the pale-faced man. The mechanic's face was rounder than Ren's and his eyes were closer together, but his hair was very similar, albeit shorter.
The way the mechanic stared at him made Ren uncomfortable. This person was showing genuine gratitude, something Ren wasn't use to seeing directed at him.
"What?" Ren asked, confused.
"The reason why you came here. Did you need something fixed or…." The man's voice trailed off as he waited for a response.
"I was looking for fuel... for my ship."
The mechanic stood with his daughter in his arms. He took the woman's hand, pulling her off the floor.
He spoke to the woman softly. "You and Anna go up to the office. I'm gonna talk with this man for a bit, okay?" She nodded as she took the little girl and made her way up the narrow stairwell in the corner, all the while whispering comforting words to the whimpering child.
The mechanic faced him, allowing Ren to notice a bruise forming under his left eye. "I have some fuel stored in the next room over, if you want to take a look." Ren and BB-8 followed him down a short hallway and glanced at the barrels stacked against the far wall.
Ren ran a hand through his hair as he felt the need to be honest. "I don't have any credits."
The man snorted. "After what you just did, I'm more than willing to give you a few barrels for free."
Well, Ren was not going to decline that offer.
The men loaded a few barrels onto a hovercart. "You just passing through or you staying a bit?" the mechanic asked as he opened the garage door to the landing platforms, handling the hovercart on his own. Ren shoved his hands into his pockets as the cold air blew across the room.
"I was planning on staying a while before leaving. Why?"
The man pushed the cart toward the ship as Ren and BB-8 followed beside him. "You need to earn some credits?"
Ummmmm… "Yes." Ren did not like feeling poor and earning some credits sounded like a pretty good idea.
They climbed the ramp and Ren pointed over to where he wanted the barrels. "Since you're sticking around, you could work here, if you like. You got any experience fixing up ships and speeders?"
Ren let out a grunt as he placed a barrel behind his speeder. He rubbed his cold hands together as he said, "Good enough to get me by."
"Well, the pay is okay, but it's better than nothing." They unloaded the last of the inventory as Ren thought over the generous offer. He's never had a job in his life. Not one like this, anyway. He guessed he could count being with the First Order as a type of job, but that wasn't something he could exactly tell anyone.
The mechanic faced him with his hands resting on his hips. "What d'ya say?"
This man knew nothing about Ren and even though he did help his family, it was still odd to be given such an offer. Ren scrutinized the man's open demeanor. "Why are you offering me this? You don't even know me."
He shrugged. "I had an employee quit last week and I've been looking for a competent worker ever since. The pickings are slim in this town, but I have a feeling you work hard. You certainly fight like you're disciplined. And you can take the job as my thanks for what you did for my family back there."
The fuel was a sufficient form of gratitude, but the job would definitely help Ren out in his current situation of being creditless. And really, what else was he going to do while being here? "Okay," Ren muttered, not sure if he should say thank you.
"Great. Now that that's settled, lets head back inside and get warm."
Ren kept his eyes on the ground as they walked to the shop's garage. If these people knew who he really was, they would run him out of town, not offer him employment. The last time he'd been on Lothal, he had executed five Force sensitives. And even though it didn't happen in this specific town, he was sure the news had traveled fast. Hell, his reputation was known across the whole galaxy.
The mechanic's voice broke him from his memories. "Now I know my wife is going to ask you this, so I might as well beat her to it, but you should come over for dinner tonight."
Ren didn't feel like encroaching on their hospitality any longer. "Uhhhh…"
They both walked into the garage and the man closed the door behind them. "She won't take no for an answer and neither will I." The mechanic paused as his eyes grew large. "Ya know, I just realized… I still don't know your name."
"Bail." What? Ren responded with the first name that popped into his head, which happened to be his grandfather's name – the one he was not biologically related to.
"I'm Jorfel Lonsmel." Jorfel stuck his hand out and Ren gulped before shaking it. The contact made him shudder, but he needed to act like an ordinary person and this is what people did when they met for the first time. That didn't stop Ren from cringing on the inside, though. "My wife is Lizari and my little girl's name is Annakal. Most of us just call her Anna for short. What should we call your droid?"
Ren briefly glanced at the orange and white astromech. "BB-8."
"Cute little fella."
BB-8 somehow beamed at the compliment.
Ren couldn't stop a little smirk from playing along his lips. "Yep, he sure is little." BB-8 didn't seem the least bit amused at Ren's jab.
A/N
One chapter down, a lot more to go! I apologize for any spelling errors. I am posting this late at night, but I do plan on going through it more over the next couple of days. I just wanted to get it posted already!
Anyways, if you have time, leave a review! Hearing from you guys helps me to write faster and focus better! Thanks for reading!