Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Star Wars!
By the time Padme and Obi-Wan made it back to his place, the former queen of Naboo was in a state of shock. Her thoughts were rattling around in her brain a mile a minute and she had no idea what to make of them. Things were confusing and Padme was torn between wanting to believe it was some sort of Jedi mind trick, or accepting the fact there were some things her husband was not telling her. As much as she wanted to trust Anakin, there were a few things that did not add up. Padme was sure he had his reasons for keeping some things from her and yet it still hurt, but it wasn't as if she could talk to him and confront him at this time and even if she could, she was not sure she would want too.
She understood that sometimes people had to lie in order to protect those they loved, and while she may not agree with that fully, she knew if her husband had a good reason for lying to her about certain things she could forgive him but that meant he would have to trust her first and she wasn't sure what she could do to earn that trust. He loved her, of that she had no doubt, but love and trust were two completely different things and right now she had no idea who she could trust and who was out to hurt her. Her main concern was her children and their safety. She had to get them out of here and somewhere safe and only then would she be able to deal with everything else.
After checking in on the twins she decided that she wanted to rest for a while. Her head was still pounding and she was exhausted emotionally and physically. The funerals for the children had taken their toll on her emotionally. She still did not believe that Anakin had it in him to kill those children, but a part of her knew that he was capable of horrible things. In a galaxy filled with darkness it was nearly impossible not to get infected yourself. The former queen was pretty sure that she had some darkness deep inside o her and only hoped that it never came out. She was not sure she wanted to know what she was capable of even though she had a sinking feeling in her gut that she would soon be tested and that darkness would finally show itself.
"Oh Ani, I wish you were here." She murmured pulling a pillow tight against her chest. "You would clear everything up for me and make it right. I know you are a good person despite what Obi-Wan may think. If you have fallen down the path of darkness, I won't abandon you like the Jedi. I will do whatever I must because you are my husband and I love you."
What she spoke was the truth and she knew it. No matter what path Anakin chose to take, she would follow him. He hid it well, but she knew how much the Jedi betraying him had really affected him. She would not be added to the list of people who betrayed him. Padme loved her husband and nothing he did could change that. Nobody was perfect, but that did not mean they were evil. Everyone had a reason for doing the things they did and while it may not always make sense to those around them, it only had to make sense to that one person. It is one of the reasons it was so hard for people to accept the actions of others they did not agree with. Anakin's wife was not going to let the same thing happen to her. She may not understand why he did the things he did, but she wouldn't turn her back on him because of it.
Closing her eyes she tried to gather up every ounce of love inside of her and send it to Anakin. She hoped that he realized how much loved him even if she still did not have all of her memories. Perhaps love was the key to earning his trust which is something she desperately wanted. He'd done so much for her and she wanted to be there for him in the same ways. They were in this life together no matter if it be good times or bad. You don't run away when things get tough, you stuck around and continued to fight which is what Padme was going to do no matter how it may end.
"I love you Ani." She whispered as sleep slowly started to take hold of her.
As her mind started to fog over with sleep, she could swear that she felt Anakin's presence in the room with her and her lips curled upwards in to a tired smile. Nothing else mattered as long as he was with her. The darkest thought he ever had, the worst thing he had ever done, she would stand by him through anything because she loved him. Some people might say it was because she didn't remember, but Padme knew with absolute clarity that even if she did remember, she would feel the same. Losing her memories had changed a lot of things, especially how she saw the world, but it could never change her feelings for her husband or their children. Today had been hard, tomorrow would probably be even worse, and the days after that could be excruciating, but it didn't matter in the long run. In the long run her family was the most important thing in her life and she would do what she must in order to protect them. If that meant she had to taste the dark side then so be it. At least then she could be one hundred percent sure her family was in no danger. In times of war you needed to make a choice, protecting those you love or doing what was right, and her choice had been long ago. Her family was the only thing that mattered. Hopefully the right thing would tie in with keeping her family safe, but if not, well then that is the way it had to be.
TBC…
AN: So I hope that you all liked this chapter. I wanted to show how Padme is having a struggle in her mind and I think it came out alright. I have a lot going on right now and well, I did my best. Let me know your thoughts.
Please R&R like always!