Dislaimer : I don't own Big Time Rush

Capter 7: In Deep Thought

The first week living at the Garcia's was amazing. Not. I loved that they care but by would they. I mean i'm Logan, i'm worthless and a slut. No one should care. Why didn't they just leave me by myself at home? Why did Danny tell me about him leaving with everyone there? Will I ever get answers? I wish that I could just forget Danny but I can't. I wonder what I would be doing if I did go with him. Would he be all over me? Would he be drunk? How bad would I be cutting? Would anyone even cry if I died? Yea,everyone would maybe even Danny but they all get over me, right? No. I'm their family maybe Danny will get over me but I think that my 'Family` will not, they need me like sometimes I need them. Maybe I should just died. I would be with my mom and there will no more pain, but I can't I must live to become a doctor, then I will help people and hopefully there will be no more pain. Just two more years then i'll be 18 and free. But will I make it? I need to talk to someone. Kendall I can talk to him,right? No he will just try to go kill Danny, and I don't need that. Carlos? Nope he will just tell Papa. James? No I bet he would team up with kendall. Mrs Garacia? No she will also tell Papa. Mrs and Mr Diamond? No I don't really know them. Mama Knight? Nope I bet she will just break out crying. Katie? She is to young. Papa? Hell no he a cop.

There is no one to help me.

Do I even what someone to help? Yes I need out! But maybe I can find an out with out talking to someone. Drugs? No way. Alcoholic? There is no way i'm going to turn out like Danny. Cigarettes? Maybe, I mean what more would happen to me? I broken and it can be an out. Yes that is what i'll do. Now how would I buy it? I have a fake I.D! It says i'm 18. Mama Knight and Papa got it for me but it was only to be used for emergencies. Well in a way it is. I mean if I don't find an out now I may just died and then people who knew and loved me would be in pain.

With that last thought I jumped out of bed and went down staris. I saw Carlos on the couch watching tv with his homework next to him.

"Hey Carlos I going out, i'm going to be a little late," I said as I went to get my keys.

"Ok Logan," Carlos said without looking up.

I walked out and when in the my car. I started to dive.

I need to go to the next town over but first my house.

I went up the diveway then got out. I went up to my room and went right to my closet, and looked for the box that I kept it in. Once I found my I.D I ran down the stair to my car and I started to dive. I keep on diving then I saw a sign that I was in a differnt town. Once I saw a gas station I pulled in I parked and when in. I saw a middle age men behind the counter. I walked up to him.

"Hey kid what you need?" the man asked.

"A pack of smokes and a lighter," I said.

"Really? How old are you?"

"18."

"Well I need some I.D"

With that I took out my wallet and my I.D and showed him. The man looked at me then the I.D and sighed. He then turned around and then turned back to me, with the pack of cigarettes and lighter.

"That would be $7.56," the man said.

I payed him and took my things. Once I in was in my car I took out a cigarette and put in my mouth. I took out the lighter and lighted it. Once I was done with that one I opened the car door threw it on the floor and stepped on, I left the door open and took out another cigarette and lighted. I also threw it on the floor and stepped on it when I was done. I took out my phone and was it said 10:35pm. I closed the door, pulled out the gas station and started to drive back.