The Space Between Stars

by VinVenture12

Kylo Ren has been humiliated by the scavenger and is now hunting her for retribution. He delves deeper into the depths of darkness along his journey, while Rey soars closer to the light. Strangers on opposite sides of a war, but bound together through their destinies. Both will do whatever it takes to survive, but who will come out victorious? Slow Reylo. Post TFA, Later M rating

22. Chapter 22

Thanks to everyone who followed, faved, and especially reviewed the story! Hearing from you helps me to keep going. Seriously, there have been moments were I have contemplated quitting this story because I just get so overwhelmed by how much needs to be written. But then I read your reviews and get rejuvenated and tell myself to take it one chapter at a time. I really do want to finish this story and I promise I will not stop! So thanks to all who have left a review! You all are a huge help. NightElfCrawler: It took a lot of time till I was satisfied with the scene where Kylo finally breaks down. I wanted it to be just right and I think I got close. I always think everything could be better, but I am comfortable with what was conveyed. I love Star Wars Rebels so I decided to bring Lothal in as a solute to the show. We may or may not see familiar faces... CalistaLegaci: I shall smite you with the feels! hehe. You will get the feels a lot more as the story continues. Trust me! ilovekyloren: I know what you mean about Rey essentially throwing a tantrum a few chapters back. But I decided to put it in there for the reason you go onto explain. She needs to learn that people leave and she cant control it, but she can control how she reacts to it. Ren does need this time alone and so does Rey. Someone, other than Rey, needs to like him. lol Not an easy thing to do, though. I'm glad you are enjoying the story and I am trying to stay true to the characters and their journeys! kimmycocopop: Yeah, writing the potential future he could have had was actually hard to do. It was sad to write and edit, but I thought it would be important to show that his life could have taken a different path. One that he secretly always wanted. No matter what path his life would have taken, him and Rey would have always been connected. You will see why in this chapter. Luke will also explain himself a bit, so you can see where he is coming from. megumisakura: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! SheLitAFire: Honestly, I don't think anyone remembered BB-8! I didn't get anyone asking about him and he was gone for ten chapters or so! But I understand, the droid is just a minor character and there has been a lot of stuff going on. Yup, the lovers separation. Gotta happen. I don't want it to last too long either, but the story demands for a few things to be written first before their reunion. Leia and that whole situation will be visited next chapter or the one after that. So you will see a conclusion to her captivity, but who finds her first? The answer is coming soon! KatMichBow: Ahhh! I'm sorry you started reading it thinking it was complete. I know that can be frustrating. I am so happy to hear that you have been hooked since the first chapter. I really do try to write the characters realistically or pretty close to it. This is fantasy, after all. lol. I do actually put a lot of research into this fic and thank you for appreciating that. Writing these long chapters and doing the research takes a lot of time, but I do enjoy it! Thanks for talking about it with your friends! I always want to get new readers! RedIceHorse: Hearing that you binge read all the chapters in one night is music to my ears! I am elated that you love the story. And now I have a reader from Germany! Awesome! I love hearing where you all are from. mal496: I love Star Wars (obviously) and I really wanted to make it feel like this is a Star Wars story. I have been focusing on Ren and Rey's pov's lately, but I will soon get back to incorporating everyone else. Characterization is a huge part of my story and I want the characters to feel like real people. For me, that is what makes a book worth reading. Guest 2: OMG you have no idea how much I would love to see Ben and Rey actually be the ones to kill Snoke in the movies. I would FREAK OUT! Everyone, pray this happens!

And now, onto the chapter! Enjoy the read.

Chapter Twenty-two

Ren landed the light freighter in the grassy field next to the square shaped dwelling. He studied the white, sharp edged house from the comfort of the cockpit before shutting down the engines. It had been less than an hour since he'd saved that family and been invited to their quaint abode for dinner. He'd attempted to put on the most polite face possible as he declined the unwanted offer, but Jorfel had been right about his wife. Lizari was persistent, refusing to even acknowledge him when he said no. In fact, he never actually said yes to the invite. She gave him directions on how to get there and told him what time to arrive before ordering him to bring his appetite and his droid.

He figured she was trying to be funny with the last part, but he couldn't tell.

But she expected him to be there.

So here he was.

Ren's stomach growled as he sat in the pilot's seat, begging him to give it something other than choc bars and water. His diet had been extremely lacking over the past couple of weeks and his body was finally starting to show it. The weight loss was obvious, and it disturbed him that it was mostly from muscle mass. He'd always been strict about eating high calorie meals so he could maintain his bulky and powerful form, but he'd been wavering from the regimen as of late. And the last time he'd run through his calisthenic routine had been on Jakku inside Rey's AT-AT.

Keeping his physique strong had always been a form of self respect. He needed to regain his strength and fast.

Ren did not like witnessing his body weaken.

Just go in, eat, and get out. Simple.

He exited the ship with BB-8 in tow, grateful that the droid was doing a sufficient job at remaining quiet. He wrapped the leather jacket tightly around his form, guarding his torso from the biting breeze as he made his way to the entrance. The temperature was very close to freezing, and even though he owned warmer outerwear, he'd grown fond of the leather jacket. He didn't know if that was because of the person who gave it to him, or because the material was of a very high quality.

Ren didn't want to delve deeper to find out.

His covered knuckles tapped on the front door, then pushed back his coarse hair as he waited. A very happy Jorfel and a warm surge of air welcomed him, beckoning him and BB-8 to enter. They stepped into the entrance hall, glancing at the two men standing off to the side.

"Bail, this is Garreaus and Terrlon. They live out back in the spare unit," Jorfel explained. "They also work at the shop, so you'll be seeing a lot of them."

"Man, Jorfel was not kidding about that scar," Terrlon exclaimed. Jorfel elbowed him in the side, causing the man to wince and clutch his ribs in pain. Garreaus glared at Terrlon before taking a step toward Ren.

Garreaus was a hard looking man, with a square face and a thin patch of black hair trailing down the middle of his head. His skin was of a creamy brown, but Ren wasn't sure if that complexion was natural, or from overexposure to the sun. The man cracked a smile and shook Ren's hand firmly, thanking him for what he'd done for Jorfel's family back at the shop, the other two men joining in with the accolades.

Ren wasn't accustomed to gratitude. He didn't know how to receive it.

The tactless one, Terrlon, came up next and was a walking contrast to Garreaus' short, broad build. Pale, tall and lanky, the man was only a few inches shorter than Ren. His hair was a dirty blonde color, with extremely tight curls that were just as unkempt as his clothes. Really, the guy looked like a typical teenager.

"So... you can use the Force?" Terr asked, a look of amazement stealing his features. The guy was also not trying to hide the fact that he was intently staring at Ren's scar.

"Uh, yes."

Garreaus spoke over Terr, stopping the man from asking more irrelevant questions. "We're glad everyone is okay. Well, everyone as in Jorfel, Lizari, and Anna. None of us care if you hurt any of Sheldom's lackeys."

And neither did Ren.

"If you don't mind me asking, why were those people at the shop?" Ren probed carefully. He wasn't sure as to the reason why he wanted more details… he just did. He also needed to know if those people were coming back to finish the job.

This family seemed way too joyous for having a target on their backs.

Jorfel crossed his arms as he began explaining. "Sheldom's been trying to undermine his boss and take over their little loaning business. Albenic had loaned me a good amount of money to start up my shop, and I make payments to him every month, but Sheldom was looking to get more for himself. He probably thought that if I feared him more than Albenic, I'd look at him as their new leader." He waved his hand dismissively. "Really, it's all just a power play. The minute Albenic finds out what Sheldom has done, that whole little group is going to be on his hit list."

Ren hesitated before asking, "So you aren't worried about Sheldom coming for you?"

Jorfel shook his head. "Nah, not really. The man should be dead by morning."

"Fucker deserves it, too," Terr chimed in.

The men moved into the kitchen, letting their idle chitchat go with them. Lizari was setting the table and Ren's mouth watered the instant he smelled the fragrant spices swirling in the warm air. Stars, he was actually excited to taste a home cooked meal.

When was the last time he had one of those?

Ren stood near the corner as they all started talking about the experience back at the shop. He took it as an opportunity to look over the small house since he wasn't interested in adding to the light chatter.

Everything was very plain, with only a minimal amount of furniture taking up the place. But since the house was small, they really couldn't fit a lot in there. As far as decorations went, there weren't many. A side table displayed some holopics, but other than that, no other evidence that a family lived here. Everything was very neat and tidy, the white walls bare and clean. This was a family that didn't need a tremendous amount of possessions to be happy, and Ren respected that immensely.

He inquired as to where their daughter was, and was told that she had fallen asleep on the way home, making them decide to just put her down for the night. Carefully, Ren hid his relief upon hearing the news. The prospect of interacting with a child was harrowing, to say the least.

They were all corralled into the dining area as Jorfel pulled out the chair at the head of the table. Everyone insisted that Ren dine in that special spot, and even though Ren objected, he couldn't weasel his way out of it without looking like a complete ass.

BB-8 stayed to his left for the entirety of the meal.

As Ren sat down, his shoulders went tight, his molars locked and for a split second, he didn't know how much more of their hospitality he could take. The smiling, the laughing, the appreciative glances – they were peeling him raw and causing his hands to shake. It would be so easy to whip around and bolt back to the ship, leaving this nice family behind in their safe and cozy home. But on Ahch-To, he'd come to realize the error in keeping people and his emotions at a distance, and had told himself he would try to change that.

So... his rear remained glued to the seat.

He kept his gloves on throughout the whole meal, though. His skin needed a sabbatical from the touch and textures of the world. If only his eyes and ears could shut off for a while.

"So, Bail," Garreaus spoke. Ren lifted the napkin from his lap and wiped his mouth, feeling the weight of his full belly. "What did you used to do before coming to Jalath?"

Ren placed the napkin back on his thighs. "Are you asking about my previous job?" Ren took two more bites of the meal, finishing what was left on the plate.

"Yeah, sure. What kind of jobs have you had, other than mechanics?" Ren's mind quickly flipped through the various stories he'd come up with, not knowing which one to choose from. None of them sounded like something he would do, but he couldn't tell these people the truth.

"No, wait! Lemme guess," Terrlon interjected, becoming excited over the prospect of making a game out of it. "I bet I can figure it out in three tries." He looked around. "Anyone want to challenge that?"

Lizari huffed and rolled her eyes. "You can't make everything a competition, Terr. Are you ever going to grow up and actually act like a mature adult?"

"Why? Being an adult is horrible. Being a child and having you take care of me is way more fun." He reached out to her, pouting. "I never had a mother…."

She swatted his hand away. "I'm a year older than you."

"Age is but a number, dear." Terrlon batted his long lashes, trying to get a reaction out of the woman. Lizari's suppressed smile finally broke through as everyone laughed. Well, Ren didn't, but he did let a small grin slip.

Garreaus nudged the tall man in the shoulder. "Are you gonna make your guesses or not? I'm eager to see you fail."

"Alright, alright." Terrlon swiped his blonde hair aside, stretching out his mouth to rid himself of that wide smile. He turned to Ren, eyes roaming over him, studying every inch of his countenance. The inspection was not wanted, but Ren kept quiet as he watched the scrutinizing stare.

"Hmmmm… Well, you seem to have impeccable manners and you hold yourself like you're important. So... I'm going to guess that you come from an aristocratic family, but you got so bored with the pampered lifestyle that you left to fulfill your adventurous spirit, only to realize how hard it was to be without your family's money. You've considered going back home, but you don't want to admit that your little rebellion failed. And now, here you are, with us." Terr stretched out his arms, his hands gliding in every person's direction.

Garreaus snorted. "If that story is even remotely true, I'll cover your shifts at the shop for a week and let you get paid for it."

"Never underestimate my intuition, Garreaus." He turned his attention back to Ren. "So, am I right?"

Terrlon looked at him expectantly.

"No."

The man's face fell with disappointment. "Dammit!" Terr chewed at his bottom lip, and muttered, "I was so sure that was your story."

"Looks like you failed," Lizari teased.

Terrlon held up two fingers, his face now filled with determination. "I still have two guesses. I got this." He popped his knuckles. "I know how to read people." Lizari rolled her eyes again, Jorfel laughed, and Garreaus teased the man on his lack of observational skills. Ren sat patiently, intrigued as to what the guy thought of him.

Terrlon snapped his fingers. "Bounty hunter," he blurted out.

"No."

Terrlon cursed under his breath, but remained focused. Ren could just superficially probe his mind to see his immediate thoughts, but he was actually enjoying not knowing what was going to come out of the guy's mouth next.

"Mercenary."

Ren was about to shoot down that guess, but paused. Mercenary was the closest job description to what he'd been doing with the First Order, and maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to go with it. It would allow him to be honest with certain aspects of his life. Even though he had to hide his true identity from these people, lying still bothered him.

Everyone was quiet, waiting eagerly for an answer. A slight smile slowly formed on Ren's lips as Terrlon' eyes widened.

"I'm right?" Terrlon asked.

"Yep."

"Yes!" Terrlon jumped from his seat, causing his chair to fall back onto the floor. Terr turned to Garreaus, his face flushed and his finger pointing at the man. "You can cover my shifts for the rest of the week, thank you very much."

"What? No, that was only if that farfetched story you told ended up being true – which it wasn't. You're gonna have to drag your ass to work just like the rest of us."

"But –"

Jorfel cut into the dispute. "Garreaus is right, Terr. He only meant it for that one story, so you still gotta work."

Terrlon groaned as he picked up his chair and sat back down, looking defeated. "Whatever. I still guessed right, and none of you forget it," he muttered.

"I'm sure you won't let us," Jorfel added.

Garreaus pushed his plate to the middle of the table so he could rest his arms on the flat surface. "So… a professional soldier, huh? Did you guard important people or something?"

Terr interjected before Ren could speak. "Nah. Look at him. A guy like that would be hired as the muscle and for intimidation. Am I right?"

Ren nodded.

"Did ya kill people?" Terr asked, leaning in closer. Ren's brows flared, as if Terrlon's candor surprised him. Ren hesitated, but eventually nodded his head again. "How many?"

"Terr!" Jorfel yelled, causing Terr to retreat slightly. "You don't just ask someone something like that."

"What? We're all thinkin' it! Don't lie and say you're not." To that, everyone's eyes darted around the room. They were all curious, but some had more tact than others.

"I've killed and tortured a lot of people. It's what I was good at," Ren said, testing the small group to see how they would react to such news. All of them seemed surprised, which was to be expected. Even BB-8 angled his domed head to look at him.

Terr gulped. "Was?"

"I've left that life." I think.

"So you could say you were more of an assassin then?" Terr sure was proving to be the nosy one out of the group.

Ren shrugged. "I guess it was a mixture of both, but I think of myself as a mercenary."

"Did you make good money?"

Ren wasn't paid for his services, but he had unlimited access to First Order funds, which was a lot.

"Not really. If I had, I wouldn't be working at a mechanics shop out of desperation." The three men chuckled at his little joke, but Lizari was not amused and Ren picked up on that quickly.

The woman pursed her lips before jumping in with her own set of questions. "Why were you a mercenary then? If you didn't get paid a lot for it?" She wasn't trying to hide her sudden change of demeanor. The three men glanced between Ren and Lizari, all the laughter and smiles now gone from their faces. All that remained was nervousness.

Ren breathed in deeply. "It gave me a purpose and I was skilled at what I did." And a part of me enjoyed it.

Lizari tilted her head back fractionally, as if she were trying to look down at him. "Why did you stop if it gave you a purpose?"

My father.

"My last job…. made me see things a bit differently." He wasn't going to allude to Han, even though that's what set him on the path he was now on. Rey still played a huge part, but his father… that was the true beginning.

Lizari arched an eyebrow. "Couldn't kill someone?"

"No."

"Was it a woman?"

"I have a feeling he doesn't discriminate against a specific gender, Liz." Garreaus glanced back at Ren. "Right?"

"No, I don't. But the person is a woman."

Lizari was holding her metal cup, her fore finger taping against it lightly as she studied him. "Why couldn't you kill her?"

Being honest with these strangers actually felt sort of freeing, but he needed to be careful with how much he divulged. Was his face unreadable? He loosened his muscles, trying to appear emotionless. "Her and I sort of have a… history together."

"Oooooooooh you were lovers!" Terr blurted out.

"No."

Lizari kept talking, ignoring Terr's little outburst. "But you obviously cared about her if you couldn't bring yourself to kill her."

Why ask such questions…. Ren's eyes narrowed, but Lizari's stare never faltered. "Yes."

Terr leaned across the table, moving his bowl and silverware out of the way with his elbows. "So why are you here instead of bumpin' the jollies with her and makin' some babies?"

Ren was momentarily speechless by Terrlon's lack of formality.

"Nice, Terr." Garreaus scolded the man.

Terrlon held his hands up innocently. "Just sayin'."

Ren drew in a breath before getting back on track. If he didn't, Lizari sure would. "I needed to figure out where my life should go next."

"So you're gonna hang out here and figure that out?" Terr asked. Four sets of eyes scrutinized him, trying to figure out his motives and no doubt, judging his decisions.

Ren nodded.

"Have you used the Force to kill innocent people?" Lizari asked. There was no shift of her gaze, no change in expression. Ren blinked and had to take a moment to make sure he'd heard the question correctly.

Jorfel, Terr, and Garreaus all appeared equally as flummoxed at her bluntness, and none of them knew what to do but look outright uncomfortable.

Lizari's emphasis on the word innocent did not escape Ren's notice, but he was not about to argue such a thing as perspective with the woman. "I used whatever was at my disposal. So yes, I have before. Why do you ask?"

"You seemed pretty gifted with it back at the shop. Did you teach yourself?"

Tilting his head to the side, he dryly responded with a yes.

She stared at him steadily. "Who did you work for before coming here?" At any other time, her hitting back like that might have guaranteed a deflection of the question or for him to storm off, but Ren was eager to match her steady stream of inquiries. He didn't want to back down.

Jorfel lightly touched his wife's arm and whispered, "Liz, I don't think–"

Ren interrupted. "Various types of people, different organizations." Jorfel glanced at him in surprise and leaned back in his chair, taking himself out of whatever was transpiring between his wife and him.

Lizari clucked her tongue. "Sounds vague."

"It's supposed to."

"Would you classify yourself as a dangerous person?"

"Only when I want to be, but I'm not a danger to you or your family. That I can promise you. But if you do not want me here, I'll leave."

"Liz –" She shot Jorfel a fiery glance, making him shut his mouth. She went back to studying Ren as the seconds ticked by, tempting him to skim the surface of her thoughts.

He didn't blame her for being protective over her family. Her questions were meant to gage what kind of person they were allowing into their home and their livelihood, and Ren would have been shocked if not one of them were curious as to who he was before he came here.

Some sort of inner dialogue played out on her round face, said conflict being such that Lizari failed at keeping the reactions to herself.

"I believe you." That floored him since he was so sure by her expressions that she was getting ready to boot him out of the house. "I'm sorry for being hard on you, it's just –"

Ren held his hand up to stop her. "It's fine. I understand." What he didn't understand was why these people still allowed him to be here after finding out about his questionable past. Something felt off about the whole thing…. They were being way too understanding.

Lizari grabbed her belly as she pushed back the chair and stood to address the four men. "Well, I'm going to go to bed and I expect you boys to clean up." Terrlon groaned, but the other two agreed. She bade them all goodnight before crossing the kitchen and slipping through the door to the bedrooms.

Terr stretched his arms in the air and let out a very long, very deep yawn. "Well… we should go and get some shut eye, too. Come on, Garreaus."

Terr attempted to stand, but Garreaus grabbed his arm and yanked his rebellious friend back onto the chair. "You heard Liz. We need to help clean up."

The immature man let out an unnecessarily long groan. "But we're both working tomorrow and have barely spent any time together since Trydari left last week."

"You two live together," Jorfel pointed out. "You see each other in the evenings, like most normal couples do."

"But Garreaus likes to take on the persona of an old man and go to bed early," Terr countered.

"It's called being tired after a long days work. Maybe you should try it sometime instead of goofing around at the shop."

"I can help clean up. You two can head out." Ren cringed on the inside as he realized what just came out of his mouth. The plan was to eat and then leave, not linger! He thought his sense of decorum no longer existed, but here it was, spilling out of his mouth like his mental guards had just sprung a leak.

"Really?" Terr eyeballed him.

Jorfel started to protest, but Ren kept going with the polite act. Or was it for real? Did he actually want to help? Better question: does he even remember how to wash dishes? "It's not a problem." It might be. "Besides, I'm hardly a guest since I'm going to be here for a while." An actual timetable on that would make Ren feel better.

"Perfect! Garreaus, let's get a move on!" Garreaus wasn't too thrilled over the idea of leaving behind the mess of last meal, but the guy's face screamed exhaustion, so he gave in and left with Terrlon. Ren went about the table, helping Jorfel transfer the dishes to the metal sink.

Memories of helping his parents clean up after a meal came to Ren's mind, and he found that the process was not as tedious as he thought when he was younger.

How old was I when I last did something like this? Was I nine? It seems like eons ago.

Ren glanced out the small window above the sink, watching the two men hold hands as they walked to their place.

"You have a problem with that?" Jorfel noticed Ren's prying stare, making his attention come back to the chore at hand.

"What?" Jorfel nodded towards the couple outside, realizing what the man was referring to. "Oh… no, I don't." Ren didn't have a strong opinion toward same gender couples, mostly because he never put much thought into it. He kept to his business and let others do the same. So at the end of the day, he honestly didn't care who was in a relationship as long as they didn't try and pry into his own personal life.

Jorfel placed the last of the dinnerware in the sink, turned on the faucet, and started scrubbing away. "You were giving them an odd look."

"It wasn't from what you were implying. It's just… those two together… they seem so…" Ren was fumbling over his words, trying to find the right description and looking confused in the process.

Jorfel laughed lightly. "Different?" he finished Ren's thought.

"Yeah. Different." Jorfel offered Ren a towel to dry the plates and it wasn't long before they fell into a comfortable groove.

Wash. Rinse. Dry. Repeat.

"They are, but circumstances force you to show a side of yourself you usually keep hidden from others. Those two men have been through a lot together. We all have." This brought up more questions than answers as Jorfel alluded to them all having had shared a dramatic experience in the past. It could be how they all knew each other and by the way Jorfel was looking at the sudsy water, he was remembering what that event had been.

Ren didn't ask, nor did he pry into the guy's mind. Some people had a right to their own secrets; Ren understood that better than most.

Jorfel cleared his throat before speaking. "I'm sorry about my wife… at dinner."

Ren shook his head as Jorfel handed him a slick plate. "Don't worry about it. She was being protective, which is understandable after I revealed what I used to do."

"Mercenary," Jorfel said, trying the word out on his tongue. "I should have seen that. Guess that explains the scar across your face. Work hazard."

"Yep."

The talk turned idle as they discussed the inner workings of the shop and BB-8 watched them from a corner. The job sounded pretty straightforward: they each took turns being assigned a new case, working to solve and fix the problem as fast as possible. The quicker they worked, the more money they made, but at the same time, were expected to do a damn good job.

Jorfel told Ren that he could keep his ship on their property and seeing how Ren had nowhere else to put it, he accepted the offer and was actually able to spit out a thank you.

Somewhere in the deep crevasse of Ren's past were the manners he'd been taught, and they were gradually coming back to him.

()()()()()

"How about you stop standing there and start talking?" Rey spat out, feeling impatient for this woman's long overdue explanation.

Her long, white dress swayed as she pivoted to her left, looking over the various cooking utensils on the small, makeshift table. The silvery ensemble winked and glittered with as much charm and lack of warmth as their owner. The girl probably dressed in this attire to give herself an air of divinity, but Rey was not caught up in the illusion.

"It's hard to know where to begin," the woman said. She ran her hands lazily across the objects, not really interested in how they felt on her fingertips.

Rey frowned. "You could start at the beginning."

The woman glanced from beneath her turned down head. "It would seem Ben's blunt demeanor is rubbing off on you."

It irked Rey that she seemed to know enough about Ben to know his personality. Does she see everything I see? "I can be plenty blunt on my own."

The side of the entity's mouth turned up minutely, but disappeared as she turned and glided over to the wall of tick marks. The silence stretched as she placidly looked over the scratches, and Rey was yet again left waiting for her to speak. "I'll start at the beginning, as you suggested," the woman said softly. She twisted, planting her form so she was fully facing Rey. "I just hope you are ready to listen."

Rey pointed to her petite ears out of annoyance "My ears are wide open."

"My name is Kayani and as Ben told you, I was once alive, but died long ago." If she really was dead, there was a good chance she had seen Rey's life. That was a disturbing revelation. "I've been in my spirit form for thousands of years, waiting for the most opportune time for the Force to put my plans into motion. I guess for you to understand my purpose, I should tell you of my family and the manner in which I died."

Even though her body was just a physical representation in the dream, Rey was tempted to sit down on her hammock and listen to the long tale. But she didn't want to be viewed as weak, so she remained standing.

Kayani's brow's lowered, casting a solemn shadow over her eyes. "I had loving parents and a twin brother that meant everything to me. My parents were explorers that charted the unknown territories of the galaxy, and my brother and I came along on their adventures, loving that we were among the few who were opening up new territories and discovering star systems."

The woman's voice grew more pained as her eyes became distant, remembering the fond times of her long ago childhood. "There was one planet in particular that my parents preferred to visit, taking a break from their explorations so they could take in the fresh air while letting us kids spread our legs. The majority of the planet's surface was covered by water, with only a sparse amount of islands sprinkled about. There was little to no vegetation on the island, but there was a large tree that had somehow thrived in the harsh, rocky soil."

Rey's body involuntarily leaned in as her mind clicked into place. "Ahch-To. The first Jedi Temple. That's the island you're speaking of."

Kayani nodded. "Yes, but it wasn't a temple then." Her hand swept through the air idly. "It was just an island with an abnormally large tree. My twin and I liked to race each other to see who could climb to the top of it first.

"Over the next few years," she continued, "we started to develop these abilities, and they became magnified the more time we spent around the tree. We kept this a secret from our parents, thinking that they might become afraid of the changes within us, not allowing us to go back to the island."

The woman looked to the right, her sight studying the beams as if she could distract herself from what she needed to say next. "While harnessing these skills came easily for me, my brother struggled immensely. He grew more distant and angry, and at the time I didn't know why…." For some reason, Rey's heart started pounding.

Kayani blinked rapidly, clearing her throat and letting her voice fill the AT-AT. "I was eleven the last time we went to that island. I had gone to the tree to meditate and to think of how to talk to my brother. He confronted me there, accusing me of somehow making him weaker so I could keep all the power for myself. He became violent…."

The silence expanded as Kayani took the time to get her thoughts straight. For once, Rey was not in a hurry to hear what happened next, nor did she feel inclined to rush the woman. Rey was many things, but she was not heartless. "I tried to get away, but the rage that he unleashed – I wasn't prepared for it. He overwhelmed me as he grabbed a rock and…." Kayani shook her head slowly as her voice diminished.

"The pain from the first few blows was indescribable, but my body grew numb and then I finally drifted away." Rey was dumbstruck, mouth agape and wide eyed as she looked at the sorrowful woman. To meet one's end in such a violent manner… from her twin brother no less…

Kayani's brows furrowed. "But then, as everything went dark, I could suddenly see again. Not from the eyes that were in my body, but from a more ethereal view. Everything was magnified, and I realized the energy that was encompassing me was from the tree. The Force bound my essence to it, allowing me to live, even though my body had died."

As Kayani went quiet, gazing distantly back into her memories, Rey mustered up her voice. "What happened to your brother?"

Kayani wiped at her cheeks, but there were no tears to rub away. Rey assumed it was a reflexive move as the woman's emotional state heightened. "I watched him as he realized what he'd done. He cried and grabbed my body, shaking me and yelling at me to wake up, but all he held was my corpse." Her eyes suddenly grew harsh, her voice becoming lower. "I felt for the connection him and I always shared, finding that it was still as strong as before. I couldn't hide my anger and vengeance, and he sensed that I still lived within the tree and wished to strike him down. He fled in fear and stole our family ship. As the vessel soared toward the clouds, I tried to tear his mind apart, but he countered me successfully. The ship tore through the atmosphere and before he could jump into hyperspace, I ripped"–her hand sliced through the air–"the location of the island and planet from his memory, knowing that one day, he might want to destroy it. He knew that as long as I lived, I would search for him so I could finish what I had started."

Rey watched the woman regain her steady breathing and run her hands through her long, shiny hair. "My parents returned to find me dead and my brother gone. They didn't need an explanation as to who had killed me. I watched them mourn my death and the loss of my brother. They buried me at the top of the island, creating a stone memorial in my honor. Decades and eventually centuries passed as people came and went on the island. Some of them left with Force abilities, others did not. I never knew why only certain people were affected, but in the end, the answer would not have mattered.

"It took a few thousand years until the Jedi and the Sith were formed, both sides so sure of how the Force should be used and making their own religions from their ideologies. The Jedi formed their first temple on Ahch-To since that was where their power originated."

Rey was more interested in Kayani's twin than hearing a history lesson. It didn't matter to her how the Jedi and Sith started since knowing didn't help her out in the current situation. "So, what ended up happening to your brother? How did he die?" Rey asked, trying to get the conversation back on track.

"I watched and I waited with the patience of a thousand lifetimes, but I never felt him pass. The connection I have with him would have told me the second he met his end, but it didn't. My brother had found a way to stall death and in the process, prolong his life to an unnaturally long time."

Rey took a shocked step back. "Are... are you saying your brother is still alive? He's thousands of years old and he's still alive?"

"He's over eight thousand, actually. And yes, he still lives. He was always a very cunning boy, always highly curious as to what he was capable of with the Force. Ben actually reminds me of him."

Rey's ears buzzed upon hearing the woman compare Ben to her psychotic sibling.

Dropping her voice, Rey asked, "Where is your brother now?"

"That's why I'm here, so to speak. I'm here to finally find him and rid the galaxy of his perverse evil."

"How are you supposed to find him?"

"Through Ben." Rey pinched her eyes, feeling like she was getting closer to understanding Kayani's grand plan. "You see, when Ben was only six months in the womb, his power was already so raw and pure that my brother honed in on his existence rather quickly. Ben had equal potential for being powerful in either the Dark or Light side of the Force, and if he learned how to use both, he would make for a very strong Force wielder. For just a few seconds in time, my twin let his guard down, and after thousands of years of waiting, I found him. Those seconds were enough to see what he had planned and what he desired."

"What did your brother try to do to Ben?"

"My dear, you know what my brother has done to him. Ben became his apprentice."

This was followed by a long silence. That only got longer. And longer still.

Kayani had the blank face of a sabacc player, which Rey felt like slapping right off of her.

Gods, Rey didn't even know how to process the information that had just entered her ears and ran straight into her brain. It was like the words got stuck somewhere between the place where your mind made sense of your native language and how it perceived reality. She half expected Kayani to burst out laughing and smack her knee, telling her it was all a huge joke, that Rey should see the look on her face.

Nope, Kayani's face was dead serious, just like the woman's humor.

Rey felt like dream vomiting, if that was even a thing. Her dream stomach sure was making her believe it was possible as bile rose in her throat, burning the soft tissue. The temperature rose inside the AT-AT to what had to be a thousand degrees. Rey was baking, her whole body inflamed, sweating, and her skin no doubt becoming flushed. Everything just got... hell, her mind couldn't even compute how much more complicated everything just became.

Her throat was swollen from holding back her stomach contents, but Rey was able to force out an exhale that lasted a lifetime. "Your brother… is Snoke?" Wow, her voice was barely audible, making her realize she needed to pull herself together.

Kayani's perfectly symmetrical face and round head nodded. "Yes. He formed a connection with Ben and slowly manipulated him into falling deeper and deeper into the Dark side until finally, he was consumed."

Her words brought up what Ben had told Rey and she frowned at the woman. "You said his fall was necessary. That the connection they have as master and apprentice needed to be formed."

"That connection is my way of finding him. My brother is too closed off from me because he wants to be. He isn't as closed off with Ben, because he still needs him for his personal goals. He still wants his apprentice to return to him."

"What personal goals? Taking over the galaxy?"

"That was one of them, yes, but that is not the only thing he wants from Ben. How do you think Snoke has been able to prolong his life? He takes the bodies of others. I saw that this was his true intention for Ben when he let his guard down."

Rey tensed up so hard she was in danger of falling over like a plank. And here she was, thinking that things couldn't possibly get any worse. Premature, Rey. Very premature, she scolded inwardly. Her voice croaked as she asked, "Why Ben? Couldn't he just pick a stranger?"

"No, he can't. To do such a thing requires a vast amount of power, from both sides. My brother has had hundreds of apprentices, and none of their bodies have been able to last a sufficient amount of time once the transfer had been made. But with Ben, with him being so rooted in both the Light and the Dark, my twin recognized the immense potential for power. Ben being the grandson of the chosen one has plagued him in more ways than one."

Rey pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes while focusing on taking steady breaths, but her lungs only wanted to partially inflate. Ben just became infinitely more significant, but where did she play into all of this?

"Why attach yourself to me? Why not Ben?" Rey asked, unmoving.

"My brother was too focused on Ben and would have noticed me being there. I needed a much more subtle host, and I had to wait till one was born with enough power in the Force to be able to harbor two essences in one body."

Sharply, Rey snapped her eyes to the woman and gradually crossed her arms over her chest. "So you're just gonna take over my body then? Sounds very similar to your brother." Finally, some much-needed vigor was added to her voice. Frustration was a good remedy when one felt weak.

Apparently, Rey was not the only one to become angry. "Do not compare me to my brother. We are nothing alike. Not anymore. And no, I can't just take over your body. You are very much in control of your actions. I am more like a passenger and you, the driver."

Good. "And after choosing me, you then formed this bond between Ben and I?"

"The Force formed your connection after I merely asked that your paths cross at some point."

"So you knew all of this was going to happen?"

"No. I came into this situation almost as blind as you. I am merely one person; I am not the Force. I cannot see how everything will play out. I have to work with what I've been given, and I couldn't let this opportunity to finally find my brother pass me by. He's unsettled the balance of the Force and has killed billions of innocent lives during his quest for domination. He needs to die, and I can make that happen. I just need you to get me to him."

Rey frowned so hard her forehead began to twitch. "And Ben is the key to finding him. It would appear he is a pawn in both you and your brother's plans. And so am I."

Kayani sneered, the expression looking foreign on a face as beautiful as hers. "We are all pawns being moved around by the Force; I am just more aware of it than you are. But make no mistake of it – I will find him and you will help me, because deep down, you know that he cannot keep living. And if he does not die, you will never have Ben to yourself. His master will never give him up."

Rey was taken aback by the woman's sudden fierceness, but her mind still remained active. A question came to her thoughts and Rey felt a strong need to have an honest answer. "Was Ben's fall to the Dark side truly necessary for your plans?"

Kayani sighed, viewing the query as absurd. "It was the most assured option of them having a strong connection."

Rey's hands tightened, her fingernails digging into her palms. "But it was not the only option?"

"Life isn't just one road."

He could have had a different path.

"So... he could've stayed in the light and still have had a connection to Snoke? One that was strong enough for you to use?"

"The option of him falling was quicker and easier and more of a guarantee since the boy had so much darkness in him already."

Rey's eyes were sharp as daggers. "You... bitch. Do you have any idea what Ben's done? What he has to live with?"

Kayani matched Rey's tone. "I didn't force him down the path he chose."

"You didn't try to prevent it either."

"Your feelings for him grow stronger. It isn't wise for you to care for him.

"Why? Because you plan on tossing him aside after you're done with him? Are you not even interested in saving him?"

"Saving him was never part of my plan." So, the woman really didn't care about either of them. Kayani spewing about how Rey couldn't have Ben as long as Snoke was alive was just her way of trying to convince Rey to follow her plans.

"Well, saving him is a part of mine, so you'll just have to deal with it," Rey told her vehemently. "Since you've made it quite clear that I control my own mind and body, you're just going to have to sit back and watch me do what I want."

"The life you want is not possible if you don't –"

Rey harshly cut her off. "I understand your plan and I understand the stakes and even though it kills me to say it, I will help you kill Snoke. I know I can't get what I want if that creature is still alive. But don't think for one second that I don't see the truth behind your words. Ben and I are just a means to an end; you don't actually care what happens to us as long as you get to your brother. So you don't get to have a say in anything from here on out, clear?"

Kayani snarled. She actually snarled at her. "You dare–"

"Quite frankly, you have no power over me. Whatever I want, goes. And you know it."

()()()()()

Rey woke to darkness, feeling disoriented from the sudden shift in scenery. Or lack thereof. She blinked, letting her body feel the soft mattress and the warmth of the blankets surrounding her. Her hair was strewn across the pillow, her hands clutching onto the steel bars that wrapped around the barrier of her top bunk. Every muscle was tense, straining from the memory of her dream and the very informative talk she just had with Kayani, the girl who had taken the reins on her life without even asking permission.

Rey squeezed her lids shut and scrunched her face in anger, wanting nothing more than to scream into her pillow until she passed out from hypoxia. Everything had been laid out before her: all the plans Kayani had made, how Rey fit into her schemes, and how utterly helpless she seemed to be.

During the back and forth, she'd been more focused on how this could all effect Ben rather than herself, which was surprising given the fact she was harboring this girl and Ben was not. But now, with nothing but the soldered walls around her and Jess sleeping unaware below, she couldn't think of a single thing to distract herself from the reality that she was stuck in the middle of a war that had been going on for thousands of years. The war was not a grand one, but nevertheless, it was the most significant battle being forged in the galaxy.

And no one could see it, but her.

Through Rey, Kayani could kill Snoke. And without him, his regime would crumble. To do so, Rey would need to get close to him, and surviving such an encounter was going to take a miracle of epic proportions. Maybe she should just accept her days were numbered so she could start making peace with the life she'll never have.

Kayani, Rey inwardly sneered.

That bitch took her future away. Or, at the very least, made it infinitely more difficult to obtain. But in retrospect, the slight chance of actually having a life with Ben would never have been an option if it wasn't for Kayani. If the Force never bound her and Ben together, they never would have met. She would still be scavenging away on Jakku, waiting for a family that was never going to return.

So there Rey lay, wishing that this destiny was never forced upon her while hoping to have a future with one of the most dangerous men in the galaxy. To not have the former would mean she could not have the latter, and she just couldn't give up her connection with Ben. Not like she had a choice in her fate, but if she were given the option to start over without Kayani ever binding herself to her...

Rey would refuse.

It was tempting to deny the path she needed to take, but Rey was not the type of person who hid from a fight. Especially one as important as this. Still, the very marrow in her bones was chilled with fear, and it was going to be a struggle to not let that impact her actions.

It was impossible to go back to sleep since the last person she wanted to see was Kayani. Rey tried to relax as she stared out into the dim room through the metal bars. Jess had awoken sometime during Rey's inner dialogue and had left the room after getting ready for her day. Breakfast was probably being served, but her stomach was so tightly coiled that it left her with no appetite.

How would she be able to walk around and talk to people after discovering the truth about herself? How would she ever laugh or have fun with her friends, knowing that she had to face Snoke and most likely die in the process? Should she tell someone about Kayani, or let the weight of the truth sink her into the pit of her own despair? The obvious candidate to tell would be Ben, seeing how he knew about Kayani and her plans pertained to him as well. But… he needed this time to be alone, to hopefully find the light within himself and form the desire to return to the people who cared about him.

That was what she wanted him to find out, anyway.

Rey shifted over to face the wall, pulling the heavy covers over her shoulders so they were pressed up against her mouth. If Snoke somehow retrieved his apprentice and Ben's body survived the transfer….

The hypothetical scenario was too much to imagine, so Rey chose not to.

Instead, Rey let her mind drift to the memory of being curled up next to Ben, sleeping against him throughout the night. It had only been a couple nights ago, but it all seemed so far away, like it had happened to a stranger. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her middle, envisioning that Ben was holding her and whispering into her ear words of comfort.

Sometimes, all you needed to calm your erratic heart was the knowledge that someone in the galaxy cared about you. Rey remembered what Ben's body felt like against hers, how his warmth had been addicting and in that moment of recollection, something fell into place within her mind. It was peaceful and resonating, and was letting her know that she would see Ben again. Right now, that assurance was exactly what she needed to recharge and feel strong about the obstacles ahead.

Two taps came from the door and Rey froze, even though she wasn't moving to begin with. Maybe if she pretended not to be there, the visitor would leave.

"Rey? You in there?"

Crap.

Finn sounded worried, which panged her with guilt. Her friend was probably wondering why she skipped breakfast, because that's what friends did for one another. They cared.

On mental command, she opened the door and twisted around to the entrance. Finn's eyes found her immediately and what do you know, they were saturated with concern.

Finn stepped inside as the door whizzed shut. "You weren't at breakfast," he said, pointing out the obvious, his voice quiet and matching the ambiance of the room.

Rey patted her hair down, realizing that she more than likely appeared haggard and unkempt. "I, uh…" Lie. "My stomach was upset when I woke up, so I thought I'd rest and wait for it to pass."

"Is there anything I can get you? I can take you to Medical."

She waved her hand about, trying to convey that her 'ailment' was not serious. "I feel a lot better, actually. I was just going to start getting ready." Rey leaned over the ladder and started her descent down to the cold floor. The thick socks she wore granted her reprieve from the chill hitting her toes.

"Well, if you're up for it, some fresh snow fell during the night and I was gonna go take a look. Wanna join?"

"Outside?"

Finn laughed. "Yeah, that's where the snow is."

"But… it's cold," Rey stated.

"I know you don't like the cold and I'll admit, I'm not the biggest fan of it either, but it's not completely horrible. C'mon. We won't stay out there long. Promise." Finn really wanted to spend time with her, and Rey didn't know how to say no to him.

Hopefully we don't stay outside for more than five minutes. "Fine," she acquiesced.

Finn's grand smile was infectious, causing Rey to feel a flicker of excitement, which was immediately snuffed out when her dream came back to her thoughts. She put a hand on the ladder in what appeared to be a casual gesture, but in reality, it was helping her stay upright as she became dizzy.

"I'll wait out in the hallway while you get dressed," Finn said. "Oh, and wear something warm." She didn't have many clothes, but Jess did tell her that she could wear anything of hers. And thank goodness they were about the same size.

She needed to clear her mind of the fallout from the bomb that was dropped on her during the dream, and hanging out with Finn seemed like a good solution.

Finn headed for the entryway and disappeared behind the steel door. Once Rey was confident that her legs could work properly, she quickly began to rifle through Jess's things before settling on an insulated pair of dark trousers, a white long sleeve shirt, and a puffy red jacket. She slipped on Jess's snow boots that were a size too big, but Rey would have to make do. She was about to head out when a knock came at the door.

Her heart jumped into her throat, for she knew the person on the other side was not Finn.

"Come in," she said louder than usual, and as the door slid open, her body squared off at Luke Skywalker.

He stepped inside, wearing the usual cut of Jedi robes, but these were dark brown instead of the usual light beige. Heavy bags sagged under his eyes, his face pale, making his appearance look borderline ill. Rey'd never seen the Jedi Master look this unsettled, but then again, with her lack of sleep during the night, she probably didn't look much better.

"Rey," he hoarsely said her name. "I was hoping we could talk." She'd had enough serious conversations to last her a very long time, and she was not really in the mood to add another to the list.

Her shoulders bobbed up and down, making her appear indifferent. "I have nothing else to say."

"Yeah, but I do. I just need a few minutes. Please." Luke was tired and seemed more like a normal man than a Jedi Master as he begged Rey for some of her time.

The sight of Luke was why she agreed to listen.

He stroked his beard, a nervous gesture Rey had come to recognize. "I'm not here to ask you more about Ben and how… close you two became. I'm here to ask you to continue your training." She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. "I know, you don't want to be trained by someone who's lost hope in their nephew, and I understand your reasoning."

His eyes darted to the ceiling as he collected his thoughts. "You're right, though. It's not the Jedi way to give up on those who have fallen to the Dark side. I know this, but Rey… if you take away my title and the stories that paint me as being this big hero of the galaxy, all that's left is a man. At the core, I'm just a person, and I struggle with holding onto my beliefs."

He sighed heavily. "In the beginning, I didn't want to establish a Jedi academy. I wanted to be left alone, to live out my life in peace. But then I saw that the Jedi needed to be brought back from extinction, so I did my duty." Rey frowned a little. She thought Luke had always wanted to build up the Jedi.

"When Ben was brought to the school, he was quiet, but quickly became my best student. I started to lean on him for help and sought his counsel when making decisions. I came to trust him with everything I built, and even though the other students were wary of him, they came to view him as a mentor and an authority figure. For the first time in years, I didn't have to take on this huge responsibility of building up the Jedi alone, because I had Ben." Rey's heart fluctuated upon hearing how much Luke had relied on his nephew. She couldn't control the sympathy she felt for this man, and her eyes went to the floor when it became too difficult to look at his pained expression.

"And then… he betrayed me," Luke said, his voice turning reedy. "He knew I was out searching for him, and he took that opportunity to strike the academy, knowing I could never make it back in time to save my students. I felt every one of their deaths, and I still feel them in my dreams."

Luke rubbed his eyes with his forefinger and thumb, attempting to keep himself composed. "Ben is my sister's son. He is my nephew. It's hard for me to believe he could be that person again after everything he's done to the galaxy... and to me. But if my father could turn away from the darkness, then I have to believe that Ben could as well." Luke did not explicitly say that he did believe, just that he has to believe that Ben could return. Rey immediately picked up on the difference.

This was a man who had personally lived through Ben taking everything from him and yet, he still remained in the Light. It was very humble of Luke to admit that he struggled with his ideologies and that beneath it all, he was just a person, like everyone else.

"You need to keep training and learn how to control the power you possess," he implored. "The Dark side calls to you Rey, and I don't want to see you fall into its lies. If you'll let me, I want to help you."

Luke watched and waiting for her to react to his admissions. She relaxed her arms at her sides and contemplated Luke's offer. The Dark side was a path she didn't want to take, and she knew she needed help in harnessing her abilities and she did want to learn….

And she needed to be more powerful to be able to face Snoke.

"I remember how eager you were in the beginning for me to teach you, how you desired to become a Jedi," Luke added hesitantly. "Has that changed?"

"No. It hasn't," she answered honestly. It was just being taught by someone who directly held ill feelings toward the man she cared about made things difficult. But after everything Luke explained, she could understand his struggle. Relate to it, even.

Rey nodded her head slowly. "Okay. I know I should keep training, and that I could use your help. But… don't ask me about Ben. That's all I ask."

Luke shook his head. "Rey, I don't like you keeping secrets from me."

She thought of Kayani, but she wanted to tell Ben first before anyone else. "I'll tell you everything. Soon. I promise. I just need time to think on my own." Luke gave her a concerned stare before reluctantly nodding. He didn't want to push her, so he would have to wait till Rey deemed it necessary for him to be in the know.

"Finn told me you two are going outside for a bit."

She chuckled lightly and flashed a weary smile. "Yeah, well, I don't know why. I hate the snow."

"I'd take it over sand."

Rey inwardly disagreed.

Luke showed himself out, but turned back to Rey before disappearing. "Come to the training center on the main floor after lunch. Finn can show you where it is if you don't know." Luke smiled coyly. "We never did try out your saber." He let the statement hang in the air as he walked away.

Spending time with Finn, lightsaber training with her new weapon, having Luke train her again – the day was quickly looking up considering how the night had gone.

()()()()()

I've been a scavenger as long as I can remember. I worked for others at first, climbing into ducts and conduits too small for grown-ups. Some of the scavengers I helped were kind, like Ivano Troade and Mashra. Others – whose names I won't mention – thought I was their property.

I was still young when I realized that I knew how to scavenge and survive on Jakku better than any of them. They needed me, but I didn't need them. So I struck out on my own.

At first nobody took me seriously. But I had–

The door to the break room slid open, Terrlon gliding inside while wiping his greasy hands on an overly oily towel. Ren closed Rey's journal, placing it on the unoccupied sofa cushion next to him.

"Whach'ya readin'?" Terr asked as he crossed the small room to the long metal table off to the side. He grabbed a Jogan fruit from the pile of snacks, making quick work of the outer layer.

Ren shrugged, not wanting to talk about the journal to anyone. Especially Terr. The guy was crude and would try to pry information out of him about Rey – specifically anything that could be labeled as sexual. Being the youngest – at the age of twenty three – put the man's immaturity on a whole different level than everybody else.

"Okay." Terr chucked the Jogan seed in the waste bin and proceeded to wipe off his face and hands on his grimy shirt. "You know why you're in here, right?"

Of course Ren knew why he was here. He didn't suddenly develop amnesia in the last twenty minutes and forget the finer points of how his life led him to being put on lock down in the break room. Come to think of it, forgetting everything sounded like a pretty slick deal at the moment. But the universe had never really cared about Ren's wants, so he wouldn't hold his breath for that miracle to strike the grey matter under his thick skull.

Ren groaned internally, holding back a snide remark and instead settling on staying quiet.

"You understand what you did wrong?" Wrong was a strong word to use, since Ren did not view himself as the 'wrongdoer.' Terrlon leaned against the break room table, arms crossed, trying to put on a stern face. The expression didn't fit the guy, and Ren wondered why Terr was chosen to lecture him on customer service. Jorfel owned the place, why wasn't he the one taking care of this? At least he would be able to take Jorfel seriously….

Ren sighed, running a hand through his thick hair, glancing at the chill box in the corner. The orange and yellow ray's of the morning sun streamed through the high window above, reflecting off the box, reminding him that it wasn't even afternoon yet and he'd already snapped at one of the customers – which he believed to be necessary. "The guy wasn't letting me explain that the problem was with the terrain sensors. He was adamant that something was wrong with the engine, but it was perfectly fine. I was trying to get him to listen to me."

Terr nodded slowly and pursed his lips. "Okay, but blatantly calling him a moron wouldn't make him inclined to listen to you."

"It should since I'm telling him how much of an idiot he is," Ren muttered under his hot breath.

"I know it might shock you, but people generally don't like to be called stupid to their faces. Even if it is true."

Ren crossed his arms so they wouldn't become overly animated. "Well, if he was so sure he knew what the problem was, why even bring the speeder into the shop? If he is soooo smart, he can figure out how to fix it himself."

Terr snorted. "Oh, come on. He wouldn't have been able to fix it on his own. The guy clearly knew nothing about mechanics. He didn't even know the difference between a sonic wrench and a torque spanner."

"See? The guy is dense."

Terr rubbed the frustration out of his tight face and breathed into his hands. His head shook and he stared at Ren in disbelief. "Do you really know nothing about interacting with other people? Were you a mercenary the moment you came out of the womb?"

"No," Ren stated through clenched teeth. "I've only been doing it the last six years." Ren answered the last question, purposefully avoiding the first one.

"And how old are you now?"

Ren shifted on the cushion. "Twenty-nine."

The tall man quirked an eyebrow. "What? Really? You're twenty-nine? Man, you're old. I thought you were younger." Ren narrowed his lids, not appreciating being called "old." He was twenty-nine, not eighty.

Terr cleared his throat as the determination came back to his demeanor. "Anyway, before you killed people, you must have interacted with the living for the first twenty-three years of your life. Right? Try to remember what that felt like."

"I hate interacting with people," Ren replied under his breath.

"Holo-news flash: nobody does, but ya gotta do it." The hard cast in Ren's jaw and the strain in his shoulders was a testament to how much Ren didn't want to deal with dim-witted people. Which was basically everyone that surrounded him, with only a few exceptions. He was still unsure whether Terr was one of those people or not.

Terr glanced at the closed door and leaned in slightly, giving off the impression that he was trying to be discreet about something. "How about you and I make a little deal? Just between us and we won't tell the other two. Or Liz."

"What deal?" Ren asked, intrigued.

"I hate working on speeders. I'm much better with ships. So how about when I get assigned a case with a speeder, you take it, no matter how busy you are. And in return, I'll deal with the customers for you."

Sounds doable, but… "You like dealing with customers?"

"I can be a people person when I want to be. You, on the other hand, might just be a lost cause in that department." That assessment was entirely on point and earned Terr a rarely seen grin from Ren.

"Deal," Ren agreed. Terr stuck out his hand, waiting for Ren to shake on it.

"I am not touching those grimy mits of yours."

Terr glanced at his hands, noticing just how dirty they actually were. "But it's the only way to make it official."

"My word is concrete."

"Okay. Fine. Have it your way. Oh, and if anyone asks, tell them I gave you a stern warning to be a better employee from here on out."

Yeah, no one would believe that.

"Was Jorfel considering firing me?" Ren was not exactly employee material.

Terrlon burst into a laughing fit, surprising Ren since the question was not supposed to be a joke. "Gods, no. We've all had our fair share of getting into it with a customer. Garreaus once punched a guy and Jorfel let that slide. Besides, the way BB-8 has been organizing all of Jorfel's electronic files has the guy wanting to keep you as an employee forever, just so he can have BB-8's help. And the way you fixed that V-35 Courier was pure magic. Jorfel hasn't seen that level of skill, like, ever. Seriously, he'd been trying to figure out what was wrong with that thing for a week, and then you take one look and somehow find it in seconds. You grow up around a lot of landspeeders or something?"

Ren shrugged. "I liked taking things apart when I was younger."

"Well, you have a gift my friend. Don't waste it."

Ren knew what it felt like to be wasteful. His whole existence was starting to slowly look that way.

()()()()()

The fire pit crackled with a threatening heat, casting the men's long shadows across the dirt field and onto the back of the house. The wintry breeze was soft, only plaguing the four men with a small amount of wind chill. Up above, thousands of stars flickered into view, showcasing their serene sparkle against the cloudless night sky.

As Ren sat in a chair that was too small for his build, he wondered which star held the planet Carlac.

He nestled his gloved hands further into the thick coat Garreaus had offered him. After work, Ren found out that Garreaus and Terr had a series of exercise equipment in their home, and Garreaus extended an invitation for Ren to join him. He was going to say no, but the hard labor throughout the day reminded him of how weak his body had become and that he needed to do something to rectify that troubling situation. So he ended up joining the man before dinner, the heavy lifting and cardio helping immensely in raising his spirits.

The smoke suddenly shifted over to his direction, making him move his chair a bit to the right and BB-8 followed. The three men were having a lighthearted conversation, but Ren wasn't paying much attention. Lizari had gone to bed early with Anna, mumbling something about how being pregnant was the worst thing in the universe.

Ren took her word for it as she wobbled to her room.

Ren was still surprised that he'd agreed to attend their little get together outside, but he actually didn't feel like being alone on his ship for once. He'd already read through Rey's journal four times, his thoughts always going to her when he was alone, making his touch ache for her. He'd rather take any physical pain than have this hollow feeling in his gut.

"Bail?" Terr had been trying to get his attention and Ren finally registered that he was, in fact, Bail. It was proving to be difficult to get used to that name.

"Huh?" Ren glanced across the flames, wondering what the man had been saying.

"What kind of tricks can you do with your magic?" Terr gave his voice a tinge of mysticism and his features looked wild with ideas.

"Using the Force isn't magic, nor should it be used for tricks," Ren said sternly.

"What are you, a Jedi or something? There's no reason to take things so seriously."

Jorfel, who was sitting to Ren's right, piped in on the exchange. "It's his choice what he wants to use his abilities for."

"What do you want me to do?" Ren interrupted, startling the three men by his sudden willingness to entertain them. The way Terr had described him as being too serious and a Jedi had set him on edge, and now he wanted to prove the guy wrong. Except, the last time Ren had actually been a fun person was when he was twelve.

Something twinkled in Terr's eyes and it wasn't from the flames. "Can you make me fly?"

They all sat there, anticipating him to say no, but instead, he decided to give Terr what he asked for. Besides, what the guy wanted was extremely simple to accomplish.

Terr's body rose slowly at first, giving him time to adjust to the fact that he was, indeed, levitating two meters off the ground.

Garreaus and Jorfel looked at the spectacle, both at a loss for words as they marveled at the feat before them. Terrlon, on the other hand, was just as chatty as ever. He kept asking everyone if they were seeing what was happening, as if he wasn't holding everyone's attention.

A coy smile formed on Ren's lips as a cruel thought crossed his mind. He wasn't sure if he should do it, but what the hell, Terr wanted to fly and Ren wanted to give the guy an authentic experience.

Terr shot straight up, making his form meld into the dark sky. The guy yelled out of pure terror, but then Ren realized it wasn't Terr who screamed, it was Garreaus. Both him and Jofel were on their feet, searching for Terr in the darkness, looking beyond concerned and in the realm of being sick.

Ren hadn't thought of how the stunt would affect Terr's friend and partner. Anyone not trained in the ways of the Force would find the propulsion horrifying to witness. Guilt twitched in his calloused heart as he felt Terr arch in the air and begin his decent downward. For the next part, Ren would need more than his mind to stop the guy from breaking every bone in his body.

Ren cracked his arm out, focusing on slowing Terr's fall. Gently, he placed the guy a few feet from his starting point as Garreaus grabbed him and eagerly searched for any injuries.

"Are you okay? You went so high and disappeared and I panicked." Jorfel came close, but didn't encroach. Ren didn't move. He braced himself to be yelled at and reprimanded. "Terr?"

Terr's glossy eyes were dazed, his hair a mess, and his skin red from the blast of cold air. He put a shaky hand on Garreaus' shoulder as his stare came to focus on the man. "That. Was. Amazing." Terr's smile was so wide, it threatened to tear his face in half. He glanced at Ren. "I need to do that again."

"Nope. No," Garreaus protested. "I don't think I can handle that again."

"But you don't understand. For a moment, it felt like I was actually flying. Fly-ing. And the rush… it was incredible."

"Maybe some other time," Ren chimed in. He didn't want to make Garreaus have a heart attack. Terr was obviously torn, but he conceded and settled back into his chair, not even attempting to fix the mess that was his hair.

The talk soon turned idle, but somehow, it circumvented back to Ren's force abilities.

"You best be careful with who you show your powers to," Jorfel warned. "There are people in the galaxy who would kill you just for having them."

Garreaus scoffed as he tossed a twig into the fire. "Yeah, that fucking monster would hunt you down and murder you. Remember what he did last year at Capital City?" Ren stiffened, knowing exactly who they were talking about.

"Yeah," Jorfel answered. "Killed five people just because someone thought they were Force sensitive."

"If you're Force sensitive, you can sense the Force in others," Ren cut through abruptly.

None of the guys were impressed by the new information.

"What are you trying to say?" Garreaus asked, his tone almost harsh.

What I am trying to say is that I sensed the Force within all those individuals and I had orders to kill all Force sensitives that I came across. "Nothing. Just making an observation."

"Well, just listen to Jorfel, alright? You don't want to be showing off your abilities unless you want to be staring into the mask of Kylo Ren." And there was the name drop, which wasn't too surprising. If you didn't live under a rock, then you knew the name Kylo Ren, had heard about his reputation.

Something about Garreaus' tone sounded personal, though, which was weird since Ren was sure he'd never done anything to the man. Or did he just not remember?

Indignation wafted into the air and it was coming from all three men. Ren had always been a curious person and right now, his curiosity could not be wrangled in. Before he could think through his actions, he skimmed the surface of Garreaus' thoughts, finding –

"You were a stormtrooper. For the First Order," he breathed out, not hiding how utterly floored he appeared. Everyone mirrored his shock, but for different reasons.

After moments of only hearing the fire pop and sputter, Garreaus spoke quietly. "You can read minds, can't you?" The man didn't even try to deny his origins, which Ren appreciated.

Ren nodded, not knowing what to say, but having a thousand different questions flip through his brain.

"Well, that's… invasive," Terr said.

"I can't always stop it. Sometimes it just happens." Although, that was a lie now wasn't it. Ren had purposefully searched the guy's mind, but he didn't want them to know that.

"He isn't the only stormtrooper," Jorfel spoke as he leaned forward, seeking more warmth from the fire. "We all are. Or, I guess, were." Ren's mouth fell wide open, his jaw feeling like it should be resting on the ground. Few things had ever truly shocked Ren during his life, and this would have to be under the top five.

Number one being his grandfather, of course.

"You… are all deserters?" Ren asked while blinking at each of them.

Garreaus chose to answer. "Yeah, technically we are, but the Order abandoned us first."

There was a story behind that statement and Ren needed to know what it was. "What does that mean?"

Terr glanced at his boss and friend as he tried to wipe the cold from his nose. "Jorfel, you should tell him. You're better at telling the story than we are."

"We shouldn't say anything at all," Garreaus pointed out.

Terr rolled his eyes dramatically. "Oh, please. He already knows the truth. We might as well tell him how our desertion came about. And he has just a good of a reason to not be found by Kylo Ren as we do." The three men glanced at one another, silently talking through their eyes and expressions until Garreaus finally nodded and Jorfel took a moment to gather his thoughts.

Jorfel moved in his chair, twisting his torso so he could talk to Ren straight on. "Garreaus and I were in the same unit, assigned to the moon Cynda. The moon was mined during the time of the Empire, and the First Order was wanting to make it operational again to find thorilide deposits. The problem was, we weren't supposed to be there. So we had to work secretly, not able to obtain many mine workers for fear that The Republic would find out about us." Ren knew about Cynda and the horrible blunder that turned out to be, but he pretended like he didn't know where the story was going.

"We had been stationed there for what, three months?" Jorfel glanced at Garreaus for confirmation. The guy nodded . "Yeah, so four years ago, the mine suddenly collapsed and everything went to shit and we all ended up being trapped below the surface."

Ren remembered how furious Hux had been over the loss of the mine.

"We were down there for thirty-one Galactic Standard days, with little to nothing for food and ice as our only means of water. It didn't take long for us to realize that the First Order wasn't going to get us out. Such a rescue might draw unwanted attention. So we were left there to die, like the insignificant soldiers we were," Jorfel said bitterly.

"A lot of us died in the collapse and after, but in the end, twenty one of us remained. When we finally got out, we all swore to never go back to the Order, and none of us ever did. We still keep in contact with the rest of the guys, though. All of them have started new lives."

Twenty-one has-been stormtroopers.

Compared to the population of the rest of the galaxy, twenty-one people was as insignificant as a grain of sand. The likelihood of meeting one of these twenty-one deserters was astronomically low, and Ren now knew three of them. Ren knew how to discern between what was a coincidence and what was fate, and this was obviously the latter.

Ren swept his hair to the side as a soft breeze tried to tousle it into his line of sight. "How did you all get your names?"

"Lizari was a communications officer on the mine and a wicked good techie. After our escape, she was able to get into the Galactic Identification Archives and create a profile for each of us. Liz was the only officer to survive the collapse, which was a good thing, because any other officer wouldn't have been onboard with the plan of deserting. But Liz agreed to it." Jorfel coughed, the cold air starting to irritate his voice the more he spoke. "She wasn't brought up in the Order like we were. She had a family who put her through the officer program. I thought it would be hard for her to leave them behind, but apparently they treated her like shit her whole life. So making the decision to have a new one came easy for her."

"What about Terr?" Ren asked Jorfel. "Why was he at the mine?"

Terr decided to speak up. "Wrong place at the wrong time. I was a pilot and was given orders to bring a shipment of supplies to Cynda. I was unloading them below when the collapse happened. I broke my right leg and arm and thought I was going to die down there." Terr affectionately looked at the man sitting to his right, taking his hand into his. "Garreaus dug me out and hasn't left my side since."

Garreaus smiled, the two men sharing a moment together. "No, I haven't."

Ren glanced away at the open display of fondness. It always made Ren uncomfortable to see such form of love from people, and he never knew how to respond to it. So he tried to ignore it by looking into the dancing flames.

"Did you and Garreaus have any specialties?" Ren posed the question at Jorfel as he gradually tore his gaze from the fire.

"I was a mechanic and Garreaus specialized in weapons."

"You thinkin' about turning us in?" Garreaus asked abruptly.

"No," Ren found himself saying. Loyalty for the First Order was still in his blood, but to turn these people in… he just didn't have it in him to do it. Besides, his loyalty to the Order was in its ideals, not with the people who ran the regime. If Hux had some defected stormtroopers running about the galaxy, that was his problem, not Ren's.

That thought alone almost made him grin, but he absconded from doing so. Inwardly, though, he skipped around in glee.

Funny how this knowledge didn't make him feel differently about FN-2187…. Ren still held out hope that that guy would somehow die since he obviously couldn't kill him. Rey would retaliate against Ren for sure if he ever hurt the trooper.

Rey...

He wondered what she was doing right then, and for some reason, a picture of her laughing with her stormtrooper came to mind. Ren's blood started to boil from such an image and he couldn't stop from feeling jealous of the man. The trooper got to spend time with Rey while he was out here, doing Force knows what. Stars, he never should have left her.

Someone cleared their throat, bringing Ren back to the present. They were all staring, waiting for him to elaborate as to why he wouldn't turn them in. "Turning you all in would put me at risk of being found as well."

No harm in being somewhat honest about this.

"Wait, they want to find you?" Jorfel asked.

Ren nodded. "Remember the girl I couldn't kill? That job was given to me by the First Order."

Jorfel eased back, his eyes unfocused as they roamed over the dark field. "Well. Looks like all our lives have been screwed over by the same people." More like my compassion is what screwed me over. But Ren knew that wasn't true.

What ruined his life was killing his father.

A/N

Aaaaaaand there you are folks! Got some revelations in this chapter. You finally know what Kayani is up to and Ren found out the groups little secret. Follow, fave, or leave a review below! Thanks for reading!