Dean unlocked the door and entered the house. He looked around and sighed. It didn't seem real that it had been almost three days since they had left the house. He plopped down in the recliner and closed his eyes. He knew that he should go to his room and try to get some sleep. The chair in Sam's room wasn't very conducive to resting, and he could only seem to catch a couple hours at a time on the couch in Dr. Forester's office.

Dean jumped when his phone rang. He saw by the caller ID that it was Bobby again. He hit the ignore button. Both Bobby and Ellen had tried to call him numerous times over the past few days, but each time Dean ignored it. He just wasn't up to dealing with them. His only concern was Sam. The doctor figured that Sam should be able to come home in a few days. Dean looked around the living room again. He took in the box of toys and the piles of clothes scattered around. He tossed his cell phone dismissively on the coffee table and headed to the garage to find some empty boxes. He couldn't bring Sam back to this. It would be too painful.

Dean frowned when the doorbell rang a few hours later. He was almost done and wanted to get back to the clinic. He thought about ignoring it, but then he heard some knocking and Bobby's muffled voice calling "Dean?" through the door. He should have known better. Bobby would have been worried with all the missed calls. Well, he knew he couldn't ignore him anymore. He sighed as he headed across the living room.

Dean opened the door and found not only Bobby but also Ellen standing on the stoop. He shook his head as he stepped away from the open door. "I should've known," he muttered to himself.

Bobby walked in blasting questions. "What did you expect? Dean, what the hell is going on? I've tried calling you I don't know how many times over the past few days. Why haven't you answered your phone? We would've been here two days ago, but Ellen's place got hit with an ice storm that we had to wait out. We waited for you to return our calls, but you never did. I'm disappointed in you, boy. This isn't like you. You told Ellen…"

While Bobby was in full rant mode, Ellen was watching Dean's demeanor. She watched as Dean kept his back to them, his shoulders drooping. He also accepted Bobby's tirade without a word. That wasn't like Dean. Normally, the two of them would be going toe-to-toe with each other trying to bully their point across.

"Enough, Bobby," Ellen interrupted. Bobby gave her a confused look, but she just simply turned back towards Dean and in a quiet comforting voice, asked. "Dean, what happened? Sam's not…" She couldn't bring herself to finish her question.

Dean gave her a quick glance over his shoulder and then shook his head. "No, Sam's going to recover. The doctor figures that he'll be able to come home in a few days." He paused for a moment as he fought to clear the lump in his throat. "The baby though…he didn't make it."

Ellen's face fell at the news. She quickly moved next to Dean and pulled him into a hug. "Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry to hear that. No wonder you haven't called us. This is horrible. How is Sam dealing with it?"

Dean stiffly returned the embrace with a stoic look on his face. He stepped back when she mentioned Sam. He shook his head. "Well, he's obviously not taking it very well. This baby meant a great deal to him. That's why I'm packing everything up. I don't want him hurt seeing all this stuff."

Ellen nodded. "I understand you wanting to help him, but are you sure you should do this? Maybe Sam should. It'd help give him closure."

"That's why I'm putting everything in the garage," Dean replied. "If he wants to go though them, he can, but if not, it's all ready to be given away."

"Look, Dean," Bobby began. "I'm sorry about jumping your ass when we first got here. I should've asked for an explanation instead of just assuming."

Dean gave Bobby a wry smile. "You know what they say when you assume…"

Bobby smiled and nodded. "I deserved that." Looking around he continued. "Can I give you a hand? You look pretty worn out. When was the last time you slept? Or ate for that matter?"

Dean shrugged. "I've been catching a few winks here and there at the clinic. As far as eating, I guess it was dinner last night."

"Then maybe you should get a little of both," Bobby suggested.

"That sounds like a really good idea," Ellen added. "Do you have anything in the kitchen to make a decent meal?"

Dean shrugged again. "I don't know. Sam kept track of that stuff."

"Well, I'll take a look," Ellen said as she headed into the kitchen.

Bobby watched her go. "Leave it to Ellen to take charge."

Dean looked guiltily at Bobby. "I'm sorry that I didn't call you. I've just been so wrapped up in trying to help Sam through this. I could've saved you guys a trip."

"Saved us a trip?" Bobby asked incredulously. "Do you really think that we wouldn't have come? Sam needs all the support he can get. We wouldn't leave you to alone to deal with this."

Dean's eyes filled with tears. "Thanks, Bobby; I'm sure that Sam will appreciate it."

Bobby was taken aback at Dean's sudden show of emotion. "What is it, Dean? What haven't you told us?"

Dean shook his head. "It's nothing. I guess I'm just feeling the lack of sleep. Don't worry about it."

Bobby looked unconvinced. "Are you sure that's…"

Ellen interrupted at that moment. "Not bad for two bachelors, but I need to run to the store for a few things. Where's the closest store?"

"Up the street, two blocks, hang a left, it'll be on your right another three blocks up." Dean directed.

Ellen held her hand out to Bobby who placed his car keys in it. "I'll be right back."

Bobby watched the door close behind Ellen. "Okay, Dean, why don't we have a seat and you can tell me what's bothering you."

Dean shook his head. "I told you. It's…"

"I know what you told me," Bobby interrupted. "But I also know you well enough to know when you're feeding me a line of bull. Now, sit."

Dean seemed to be debating silently with himself. Finally, he nodded, but headed into the kitchen first. "You want a beer?"

"Sure, I could go for one," Bobby answered.

Dean came back to the living room and handed Bobby a beer. He took a seat on the edge of the couch. Both men twisted the caps off their bottles, and Bobby took a hefty drink. Dean, however, just seemed to stare at the bottle.

Now Bobby knew that something was wrong. "Dean?" Bobby prompted.

Dean placed his bottle on the coffee table and sat back further on the couch. "This is all my fault."

Bobby gave Dean a confused look. "What is your fault?"

"The baby…" Dean barely choked out. "I killed the baby."

Bobby's eyes widened in shock. "You can't be serious. Why would you even think such a thing?"

Dean abruptly stood up and began pacing. "It's true. I knew that something was wrong. I should've called the doctor earlier. If I had, I could have caught the doctor before he went out. He could've done the surgery before the rupture, and then the baby wouldn't have died. So, see. It's all my fault. Hell, if I hadn't pissed off the trickster, Sam wouldn't have been pregnant in the first place. How am I ever going to make this up to Sam?"

"Dean! You're rambling," Bobby interjected. "Catch the doctor? Rupture? How about you start at the beginning and calmly explain what happened?"

Dean sighed and sat back down. "It was three days ago. We were in the middle of a snowstorm. I ended up staying home from work. I could tell that something was wrong with Sam. He complained about a backache and a general feeling of not feeling 'right'. I wanted to call the doctor right away, but Sam wanted to wait. So, I waited. By the time that we realized what was going on, the doctor had been called out to an accident. Because of the weather and the terrain, it took a while to get a hold of the doctor. Anyways, once we finally got to the clinic, and the doctor got there, Sam was in full blown labor. They were getting ready to do the c-section when the placenta ruptured. They rushed him into surgery, but it was too late. The massive blood loss from the torn placenta caused irreversible damage to the baby. He died shortly after birth."

Bobby shook his head. "I'll admit it sounds like you two were victims of some bad circumstances, but I don't see how it's your fault."

Dean threw his hands up in desperation. "Weren't you listening? If I had called the doctor when I wanted to, this would've all been different. We would've been at the doctor's hours earlier. He would've recognized Sam's symptoms as labor. He wouldn't have gone out on that accident call. He would've delivered the baby long before the placenta would have had a chance to rupture. Jason would still be alive if I had just followed my gut."

"Does Sam blame you?" Bobby asked.

Dean shrugged. "I really don't know."

Bobby raised an eyebrow. "Well, if he hasn't said anything about blaming you…"

"That's just it," Dean interrupted. "He hasn't said much of anything. He had one major emotional outburst when he first woke up and held the baby. Ever since then, he has seemed to close himself off. We can only get short responses out of him, if we get a response at all. The doctor says that some depression is normal, but even he is concerned about Sam."

"He would be the one to know," Bobby replied.

Dean nodded. "He also said that the medicines to fight the infection could be…"

"Whoa, wait a minute," Bobby said. "What infection? You didn't say anything about that. Could that have had anything to do with the baby's death?"

Dean shook his head. "No, the infection is a complication of the torn placenta. So, again, another thing that could've been avoided if I had listened to my instincts."

"Look, Dean," Bobby tried to comfort Dean. "You can't blame yourself. You didn't know that this would happen. It's just one of those things that is out of our control."

Dean shook his head. "I can't seem to shake the feeling that God...or fate…maybe the devil himself is punishing me for the way I acted when we first found out about the baby."

"What do you mean?" Bobby asked. "I know you said that you wanted him to get rid of it early on, but was there more?"

Dean snatched up his beer and took a long drink. He stared at the bottle in his hand while he tried to collect his thoughts. Bobby could tell that Dean was thinking. So, he patiently waited for him to explain.

Finally, Dean sighed heavily and began to explain. "When we first found out about the baby, I wasn't happy to say the least. I wanted to go out and hunt down that son of a bitch trickster. I just assumed that Sam would get rid of the baby. So, needless to say, when Sam announced his intention of keeping the baby, I turned my anger towards him. I yelled. I pleaded. I threatened. I did anything I could think of to get him to do what I wanted which was to get rid of the baby. It wasn't until I realized that he was only contemplating it because of the horrible things I said. Man, I felt so low. I was trying to manipulate my own brother. It was then that I decided to be supportive. I have to admit that over these past few months, I started to look forward to the baby. Like Sam said, it could be his only chance to have a child. Now, it's gone."

Bobby gave Dean an incredulous look. "Let me get this straight. You think the baby died because months ago you thought Sam should have an abortion?"

"I guess you would call it 'cosmic justice'," Dean replied. "I wanted the baby gone, and now it's gone. I got my wish. What would you call it?"

Bobby rolled his eyes. "I call it bull shit. You aren't the first person to consider abortion when faced with an unwanted pregnancy. It doesn't make you a bad person, and you're not being punished for it. It was a difficult time, and you were only thinking about what was best for you and your brother."

"But I could've handle things so much better," Dean argued.

"Every one can say that about things in their lives," Bobby argued back. "But that doesn't mean anything. There's not a big scale weighing your actions. Life is what it is. You have to deal with both the good and the bad, and one isn't caused by the other."

Dean shrugged. "My brain knows that. It's just a matter of convincing my heart."

"I know it's hard," Bobby said. "But you need to deal with it, not just for yourself, but for Sam too."

Dean nodded. "I know. I just don't know what to do anymore."

"Well, right now, you are going to get some sleep," Bobby said, taking charge.

Dean shook his head. "I've got to finish packing this stuff and take it to the garage."

"Don't worry. I'll take care of it," Bobby replied.

"But what about Ellen?" Dean continued. "She'll be back soon with dinner."

Bobby had to fight back a smile. Dean, at this moment, reminded Bobby of a small child trying to talk his way out of a nap. It wouldn't surprise him if Dean started whining about a drink of water or having to go to the bathroom.

Bobby stood up. "Look, you're obviously not yourself right now, and I think it's because of your lack of sleep. Now, I want you to go lay down, and let me worry about Ellen. Do you understand me?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "I'm not a child, you know."

"Of course not," Bobby said. "You're a grown adult."

"Thank you," Dean interjected.

Bobby ignored him and continued speaking. "But you are a grown adult who is under tremendous stress and suffering from lack of sleep. So, your judgment isn't to clear right now. So, trust me when I say that I'm only looking out for you. Now, go to sleep."

Dean sighed. "Okay, okay, do you mind if I hit the john first?"

Bobby couldn't stifle the laugh that escaped.

Dean gave him a confused look. "What?"

Bobby just shook his head. "Nothing, just do what you have to."

Dean shrugged and left the room. About ten minutes later, Bobby stood outside Dean's door. He could hear an occasional snore out of the soundly sleeping man. He headed back to the living room and began hauling the boxes back to the garage.

It was a good four hours before Dean woke up again. He wandered into the kitchen, following the tantalizing smell of the chili that was bubbling on the stove. Bobby and Ellen sat at the kitchen table engaging in quiet conversation.

Ellen was the first to spot Dean. "There he is. How're you feeling?"

Dean shrugged. "Okay, I guess. I must have been really out. I remember thinking when I laid down that there was no way that I could sleep. The next thing I knew, I was waking up a few minutes ago."

Bobby nodded. "You obviously needed the sleep. Now, how about some food? Ellen has made her famous three bean chili."

Dean glanced at the bubbling pot. "Were you guys waiting for me? You didn't have to."

Ellen steered Dean towards the table. "Don't worry about it. Besides, chili only gets better the longer it simmers." She reached into the cupboard and grabbed some bowls.

"None for me please," Dean said. "I'll just take some coffee. I really need to get back to the clinic."

"No, you don't," Bobby replied. "I've already talked to Dr. Forester. He said Sam was doing the same. He was happy to hear that you were finally getting some rest, and he wanted us to make sure that you got a good meal in you before you go back."

"You talked to Dr. Forester?" Dean asked in confusion.

Bobby shrugged. "He called your phone. It was sitting on the coffee table. I was worried when the caller ID showed 'Elk Point Medical' on it. I thought something might've happened to Sam. So, I answered the phone."

"Did something happen to Sam?" Dean asked in alarm.

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Give me some credit, boy. If something had happened to Sam, I would've woke you up."

Dean was still confused. "Then why did he call?"

Bobby laughed lightly. "He was worried about you. Since you didn't show up after lunch like you said you would…"

"Oh yeah," Dean replied. "I forgot I told him that. Did he say anything else?"

"Not really," Bobby answered. "Now, sit down and eat so we can go to the clinic."

Dean did as he was told. Once he sat down, Ellen set a bowl in front of him. It only took one bite for him to realize how hungry he was. The three engaged in polite but forced conversation as they ate. Soon, they were finished and on their way to the clinic.

Sam forced a small smile to his face when Bobby and Ellen entered his room. "Hey, guys," he said simply.

"Hey, Sam," Bobby replied. "We came by to see how you were doing."

Sam sighed. "As you can see, I'm doing fine. The doctor said that I'll be able to go home in a few days."

Ellen sat at the edge of the bed and gripped one of his hands. "Sam, I'm so sorry to hear about the baby."

Sam pulled his hand from Ellen's grip and crossed his arms. "That's just life. It wasn't meant to be. There's nothing to be said."

Ellen gave Dean and Bobby a concerned look. "That's a pretty cavalier attitude about it," she said.

Sam shrugged. "It happened. Now I just need to move on. There's no need to beat it to death."

Ellen was taken back by Sam's hardness. It was so unlike him. She brushed at some imaginary lint from Sam's blanket. "Well, if you ever want to talk about it, you know how to reach me."

Sam nodded. "Thanks, I appreciate it. I know you mean well, but I'm okay really."

Ellen stood up and gave Sam a kiss on the forehead. "I'm glad to hear that, but my offer still stands if things change."

Sam nodded again. "Look, I'm still pretty tired. Do you mind leaving so I can get some rest?"

"Sure," Bobby answered for Ellen. "We'll just be out in the waiting area."

"You guys go ahead," Dean told them. "I think I'll sit with Sam until he goes to sleep."

"You don't have to," Sam said.

"I know I don't have to," Dean replied. "I want to. Humor me. Okay?" Dean watched as Bobby and Ellen left the room. Before Sam had a chance to fall asleep, he asked. "You were a little cold to Ellen. Don't you think?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't want to talk about it."

Dean shook his head. "She came a long way. She only wants to help."

Sam's voice grew hard. "Well, I didn't ask her to come. I don't need help. I'm dealing with it. I don't need to talk about it. I just want to forget it."

Dean fought to keep his voice even. "It isn't that easy and soon you'll realize that."

"Whatever," Sam mumbled as he shifted slightly in bed and closed his eyes.

Ellen and Bobby made their way to the waiting room. "I can see why Dean is concerned," Ellen said. "Sam isn't anything like himself."

Bobby nodded. "But you can't really blame him. This whole situation would send anyone tripping."

Ellen shook her head as they sat down. "He seems so hard. I'm afraid that he's lost more than just the baby. It seems like he's lost a piece of himself."

Bobby placed an arm around Ellen's shoulder. "We'll do what we can to help him find it again."

Ellen sighed as she sat down. She silently prayed for the Winchesters. It was going to be hard for them to work though this. She knew.