Dean sat on a barstool at the Roadhouse nursing a beer. Bobby sat on the stool next to him drinking his own beer. Ellen was behind the bar making sure that everything was set for the nightly rush.

"Let me get this straight," Ellen was saying. "You left that poor boy alone?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "It's not like that. He's been home for a month now. The doctor says that he's healing fine and should be able to go back to hunting in a couple more weeks, another month at the most."

"So you figured that it would be okay to leave him," Ellen replied in disgust.

"Bobby needed some help on this hunt," Dean argued. "I've only been gone for two days, and I've called him every few hours or so just to check up on him. He's fine."

Ellen gave Bobby a look of unbelief. He wisely kept his mouth shut. "He's fine?" She asked with sarcasm. "So, does that mean he's talking to you again? Does he smile at all? What does he do all day? You know, there's a big difference between being physically fine and emotionally fine. Why didn't you call me? I could've stayed with Sam while you were gone."

Dean slammed his beer bottle onto the bar. "Look, I don't appreciate what you're implying," he growled. "I'm not stupid. I know he's not emotionally fine. I'm doing my best, but I can't make him talk to me. He absolutely refuses to talk about the baby at all. Basically, he spends all his time on the net trying to trace the trickster so he can kill the son of a bitch. Sure, I'll admit that when Bobby first called about the job, I saw it as a way to escape, but when Sam found out about it, he practically pushed me out of the house."

Ellen began to feel guilty about the assumptions she had made. "I'm sorry that I jumped to conclusions. I just know how hard it is to deal with such a tragedy."

Bobby and Dean exchanged confused looks. "Ellen?" Bobby questioned.

Ellen sighed. "Two years before I had Jo I lost a son. He died in utero. I was not quite seven months pregnant. The doctor offered to do an autopsy to determine the cause of death, but we would've had to pay for it ourselves, and we just didn't have the money. I had a hard time coming to grips with the loss. It almost tore my marriage apart, but Bill stood by me. Eventually, I worked through my grief, and we were closer for it."

"Why didn't you say something before?" Bobby asked.

Ellen shrugged. "It was a private matter, and once Bill was gone…well, never mind. You know now."

"Maybe you should talk to Sam," Dean suggested. "Heaven knows, I'm in over my head. With your shared experiences, maybe you can get through to him."

"Oh, I don't know, Dean," Ellen replied. "There are still a lot of differences between our cases, mainly the fact that he was only pregnant due to a supernatural cause."

"But your sense of loss would be the same," Dean argued. "Won't you at least give it a try? For Sam's sake? Please?"

Ellen really wanted to say no, but Dean's pleading was getting to her. "All right," she gave in. "For Sam's sake."

Dean knew that it was asking a lot of Ellen. In a quiet but heartfelt tone, he said. "Thanks, I owe you big."

"Yes, you do," Ellen replied. "And if you agree to watch the bar for me, I'll head over and talk to Sam tonight."

Dean laughed lightly. "You mean you actually trust me behind your bar."

Ellen gave him a wry look. "Hell, no, but Bobby will be here, so will Ash, and you know what I'll do to you if I get a bad report from them. Right?"

"Yes ma'am," Dean replied with a mock salute. "You can count on me."

"I'd better," Ellen began giving orders. "Everything is cash only transactions, no bar tabs, no IOUs, and absolutely no credit cards." She then mumbled. "Like any hunter would have a credit card in his own name anyways."

Dean heard her despite her mumbling. "Hey," he cried indignantly.

Ellen shot him a silencing look. "Make sure that you shut down the grill when you close up. I don't want to come back and find my place in ashes."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yes, mother, and I'll lock the door so you don't get robbed, and I'll even do the dishes so they don't draw bugs."

Ellen tried to playfully smack Dean across the bar, but he backed out of her reach. "Don't be such a smart-alec," she told him.

Dean gave her a pouty look. "But it's so much fun."

Ellen shook her head. "Oh, behave. I'll be back tomorrow."

Dean said goodbye, and Bobby wished her a safe journey as she left the Roadhouse.

Dean whistled as he climbed out of the impala. Ellen had brought back an encouraging report. She said that Sam had opened up to her about some of his feelings and fears. Even though she didn't share the specifics, she felt confident that Sam would be willing to open up to Dean.

Dean unlocked the door. He stepped through the door only to have a glass shatter against the door frame above his head. He instinctively ducked but still got pelted by a few shards of glass. Luckily, none cut him. "What the hell?" He yelled.

Sam was livid. "You son of a bitch! How could you?"

"What?" Dean fired back in confusion.

"You sent Ellen here," Sam spat out.

Dean shook his head. "I didn't send her…Okay, I did ask her to come, but she was willing to."

"Only after you convinced her that I had completely lost my mind," Sam sneered.

"It wasn't like that," Dean protested. "I was worried about you."

"Like hell you were," Sam retorted.

"I was!" Dean continued. "You said you were fine, but I'm not stupid, Sammy. You've been shutting me out. You won't talk to me about your feelings or the baby."

"Like you really want to hear it." Sam scoffed. "You had all of Jason's things packed up and out of the house before I even got home. You tried to erase him like he never existed…like he didn't matter, but he did matter. He mattered to me." Sam's voice caught in his throat. He turned away to hide the tears that were making their way to the surface.

Dean softened his voice. "I know he mattered. He mattered to me too. But you have to understand, you also matter to me. I was afraid that seeing all his stuff would be too painful for you. Jason's things are all out in the garage so when you're ready, you can look through them. You know that, but as far as I know, you haven't gone through them. Doesn't that say something to you? It may not seem like it, but I've been trying to do what's best for you."

"Whatever," Sam replied as he dropped heavily into the recliner. The sudden movement caused the chair to shift back and bump the wall with a thud. Sam ignored the movement and buried his face in his hands. He took deep breaths and tried to pull himself together.

Dean sighed. He was right back where he had started. He just didn't know how to help his younger brother. Sam's pose signaled the end of the conversation. Dean debated about pressing him, but he really didn't want to duck another thrown glass. Instead, he moved next to the recliner and nudged the arm of it with his knee. "Come on, Sasquatch. Stand up. Let's move this chair out before you put a hole in the wall."

Sam looked up at Dean. "Huh?"

Dean motioned towards the back of the chair. "Chair…wall…move…"

"Oh yeah," Sam replied as he stood up. He grabbed the arms of the chair and pulled it about six inches away from the wall. He turned to sit back down, but Dean stopped him.

"Hang on a minute," Dean pushed the chair forward a little more and squeeze behind it while bending over and picked something up.

"What've you got?" Sam asked.

"It's uhm…" Dean stammered slightly. "It's Jason's teddy bear." He held up the bear with "Baby's First Teddy" on its stomach for Sam to see.

"Where'd that come from?" Sam asked as he reached for the bear.

Dean handed the bear to Sam. "I don't know. I thought I had gotten everything."

Sam sat down and gently fingered the arms of the bear. "My baby," he whispered. Tears began to fall from his eyes.

Dean knelt in front of Sam. "I'm so sorry, Sam."

Sam brushed at the tears that were falling. "You didn't know it was back there."

Dean felt his own tears building. "No, I mean for you losing the baby. I know it's my fault. I don't know how you can stand to be around me. If I could go back and change things, I would."

Sam blinked in confusion. "Dean, what are you talking about?"

Dean sighed. "I should've done more. I should've been more supportive."

"I don't understand, Dean," Sam replied. "You were supportive. You were there for me. You put up with my crazy emotional outbursts. You even quit hunting and for the first time in your life, got a normal job. What more could you have done?"

Dean shook his head. "I should've listened to you from the start. I shouldn't have tried to force my feelings on to you. I shouldn't have tried to talk you into the abortion. I was just so afraid, afraid of how you would handle it, afraid of how you having a baby would change our lives, our jobs, and our relationship. Most of all, I was afraid of losing you."

Sam tried to give Dean an encouraging look. "Dean, those feelings are all normal. Don't you think that I had those same fears?"

"But you worked through those fears," Dean argued. "I never did. I just got good at hiding them. I think that's why God punished me by hurting you and taking your baby."

"God?" Sam questioned.

Dean shrugged. "God…fates…a higher power…the man on the moon…whatever you want to call it. I'm being punished for my attitude, and you are suffering too because of it." The tears that had been building began falling from Dean's eyes. "I really am so sorry."

The sight of his brother crying caused Sam to cry again. "Dean, Jason's death was not your fault. This isn't a punishment. It's just something that happened. It had nothing to do with me being a man or our jobs or even your fears. I don't blame you, and I don't want you to blame yourself either."

"Then why won't you open up to me about Jason?" Dean asked.

Sam laughed despite the tears. "I guess I was afraid. We've never been good about sharing our feelings, and after dealing with the hormones over these past months, I didn't want you to think that my feminine side was here to stay."

It took a second for Sam's explanation to sink in to Dean's head. He smiled. "You're a nut…a certifiable nut." It surprised Sam when Dean pulled him into his arms. "I love you, Sammy."

The two brothers separated, and Dean sat on the couch. The floodgates were finally open, and they quietly talked about how to move on from their loss.

Elsewhere, a man was holding a conversation with the baby he was rocking. "You're pretty tired there. Aren't you, David? It was a big day with the trip to the doctor's. You're just growing like a weed. I'm not surprised though. I'm taking really good care of you. Aren't I? I'm going to be the best daddy ever. You won't ever miss your other daddy. Can you believe that nurse at the doctor's office? Saying that you don't look like a 'David' to her. Well, there was no way I was going to call you 'Jason' like he wanted to." He placed the now sleeping baby in the bassinet. Looking down at the baby, he continued speaking. "Don't you worry. You're my son. No one is ever going to take you away from me. If they try, I'll take care of them just like I took care of the nurse at the clinic. I can't believe that she had a sudden attack of conscience and wanted to tell Sam about me. I couldn't let that happen. I love you too much for that."

The trickster smiled as he quietly watched his son sleep on.

THE END