Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush

"Where were you?" Papa asked me as I opened the door.

"No where," I responded walking to the staircase.

"Come here."

I sighed and walked over to Papa, and saw that he was the only one there. There was also flies on the coffee table. I sat down next to him.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Where were you?" Papa asked again.

"Nowhere."

"Logan, me and you both know that is a lie."

I smiled and looked at Papa's face.

'What's the big deal? Papa maybe happy for me." I thought.

"I was on a date," I said with a smile.

Papa had a face of surprise, then a small smile.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Papa asked.

"I didn't know till I was there." I said.

"Are you going to tell the boys?"

"Not yet, I'll wait till we are together."

"OKay, now go to bed."

I nodded and got up. I walked up the staircase, and into 'my' room. Carlos was already in bed. I took off my clothes, and put on sweatpants and an old shirt. I then went to bed.

~the next day~

I walked in the ice rang with Carlos. James and Kendall were sitting down on the bleachers, talking to a guy I don't know.

"Hey guys!" Carlos yelled running down the stairs, and I followed behind.

"Hey I'm Erick," the guys said once Carlos and I came to them.

"Hey Dude, I'm Carlos," Carlos said.

"And I'm Logan," I said with a smile.

"Yea I know you're the one that sucks at hockey." Erick said with a smile when mine turned into a frown.

"Hey, don't say that about Logan,'' Kendall said, getting up to face Erick.

Erick turned away from Kendall and looked at me.

"What do you really need him to fight for you? Can't you stand up for your self?"

"Shut up!" James yelled at Erick.

"Why I'm just asking questions, what do you want to know a fact Logan?" Erick asked, but before I could say anything he was already opened his mouth. "the guys aren't really your friends, they make fun of you when you're not with them.''

''That's a lie!" Carlos exclaimed.

"No it's not," Erick said.

"You should leave before I hit you," Kendall said.

Erick looked up and down at me and said "No you're not worth it," then walked away.

"Logan you know what about us making fun of you not trust, right?" Carlos asked.

"Of' course I do. Now come on let's go play" I said walking down to the ring with one thought running in my head.

'You're not worth it.'

~after the day with the guys~

I sat on the beach in the old park, smoking. This was the pack I kept in the car, in the trunk.

'I'm not worth anything. So Matt should not be spending time with me. All I would ever do is bring him down, and I can't do that to him.'

I heard footsteps from behind me, but I thought it was Matt so I took a drag.

"Logan?! What the hell are you doing?!" Kendall's voice exclaimed from behind me.

I slowly turned around and saw Kendall standing, with an angry look on his face.

''Kendall?" I whisper, not believing that he was really there.

"You didn't answer me," Kendall said.

I sighed, waved at Kendall to sit next to me. Kendall walked over, and sat down next to me and looked and my hand. The one that had the cigarette in it.

"Kendall I'm going to sound like a smartass right now okay?" I said to Kendall and he only nodded "what does it look like I was doing?''

"Why Logie you are smarter than to smoke." Kendall said.

"I was thinking and this helps my nerves,'' I said.

"Put it out now."

I sighed but threw it on the floor and stepped on it.

"What were you thinking about?" Kendall asked me.

"It's a long story,'' I said.

"I'm here for you.''

"You know that I'm the nerd of the group, and always get picked on because of that?" I asked Kendall and all he did was nod his head. "Well because if that I sometimes don't think I'm worth much. When Erick said I wasn't worth it, thoughts just came in my head. I had a date yesterday, but I don't think that I should waste his time to realize that I'm worthless." I said with tears falling out my eyes.

"Logie you're not worthless, at all. You're going to be a doctor and take care of people,'' Kendall said wiping the tear of my check and pulling me in a hug.

I put my head on Kendall's chest, and Kendall had his arm wrapped around my waist.

"So you don't care that I'm Bi?" I asked Kendall.

"No I don't. I just want to know, why you didn't tell anyone?" Kendall asked me.

"I wanted to wait tell I had a boyfriend to make a deal out of it."

"You know that the guys will still love you, and so will our parents."

"Yea. If not Papa would do something, yes he does know"

We sat in silence for a few minutes. Then I spoke up.

"Do you want me to take you home," I asked Kendall.

"Yea sure." Kendall said without moving.

I went to get up, but Kendall pulled me back. Kendall grabbed my face and kissed my forehead.

"You're not worthless, and if anyone makes you think so I will beat them up," Kendall whispered in my ear, the pulled me up with him and walked to my car.

…

I was sitting down on my bed when my phone ringed.

Matt. I picked it up.

"Hey Matt," I greeted.

"Look Logan I don't think that we should date," Matt said.

Cliffhanger! Sorry for any and all grammar/spelling mistakes. Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it!