The Space Between Stars

by VinVenture12

Kylo Ren has been humiliated by the scavenger and is now hunting her for retribution. He delves deeper into the depths of darkness along his journey, while Rey soars closer to the light. Strangers on opposite sides of a war, but bound together through their destinies. Both will do whatever it takes to survive, but who will come out victorious? Slow Reylo. Post TFA, Later M rating

31. Chapter 31

Thank you all so much for the reviews, faves, and follows! And especially thanks for being so patient! I went on vacation to San Diego and had little time to write, so I got behind with this chapter. I apologize and hopefully, I can be quicker with the next one.

ilovekyloren: I really try to stay true to the characters and for me, it makes sense that Ren would be this broken person after everything he's done. Staying true to his personality is sometimes tricky, because I want him to be this happy person, but it's just not realistic. Leia and Ben's relationship will be slow and they will interact more. So you guys might not remember because it has been so long, but Ren got Rey's parents names from Unkar's mind back in an early chapter. That's how he knew what to search for. He doesn't know them personally, but there is way more to Rey's family that we haven't gotten to yet. Poe and Jess have a little convo in this chapter, and Ren and Poe are on the road of developing a friendship. Does it get to the level of a bromance? Maybe... The answers to your questions shall be revealed in time! Jnads1: I'm glad the chapter really resonated with you! I laughed about your husband looking at you like you're crazy. My husband would have done the same thing! Leia won't be giving up on her son, even when things get rough in the future. She failed him once and she doesn't want to do that again. KatMichBow: I absolutely love Mumford and Sons. If you look closely through out the story, you can find little snippets or a likeness to some of their lyrics. With the Luke and Leia scene, I was kinda imagining Carrie there while writing it. That's probably why you picked up on that. Oh vulnerable Ben... You'll be seeing more of him in this chapter. And future ones. But don't forget his monstrous side. We'll be seeing it later on. It really did take Rey FOREVER to confess how she felt, and Ren really needs to hear it. No one likes thinking they are garbage, and we all know beneath that harsh exterior, Ben is really sensitive. Poe has his own stuff to figure out and his explosion at Ren shows just how frustrated he is over the whole reputation situation. This chapter does start off with Ben's reaction! So, yeah! thiskiddusty: haha I love your review. Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out! I actually think last chapter was one of my better ones since I'm the most satisfied with it. Glad to know someone is really emotionally invested in this story along with me! And you think you've been on a roller coaster of emotions now? Just you wait. I am making it a goal to wring you guys out by the time this story is over. Your welcome! lol. sillyfluffychild: Most of you guys all voted for Ben's pov first, so that is what I did! I appreciate your input in helping me to decide. Glad you love the story! I hope you continue to do so! NightElfCrawler: Ren breaking down is so intriguing and enjoyable to write. I just love getting in his head. From here on out, his breakdowns will be less frequent and severe. At least, I think so. Sometimes the story writes itself. But we are getting to the point where we will be focusing more on Rey. So as Ben starts coming to the surface, Rey is going to start to struggle. Lets just say, their roles are going to somewhat reverse. Guest: Thank you so much! I always believe a slow burn is so much better than rushing a romance. It's so much more rewarding, especially with these two characters. I try to be descriptive in body movements so you can imagine the scene easily. Facial expression are so important to me! So on the subject if they do it... well, this chapter is rated M! The scene is descriptive at parts, and subtle at others. I hope it's not too uncomfortable fo you all to read. I tried to stay true to how I write and tried to keep it realistic. Since it's their first time, nothing over the top happens. So if someone was looking for something crazy and explicit, sorry! Their relationship is not there yet! The rey/ren scene from last chapter wasn't inspired by the 100, but I so ship Bellarke! kimmycocopop: Well, this chapter has a whole lot of Reylo going on, but you'll see why I did that at the end of the chapter. Ren's journey does involve letting go of the past, so we'll see him really delving into his more forgiving side moving forward. The dark side is definitely more comfortable for him to be in than the light right now. We might see that change. vana9: Poe and Ren will have a chance to talk it out sooner or later. It always makes me happy as a writer to have a chapter make you emotional and really feel what the characters are going through. His development has come such a long way and it's been slow and rough for him. It's taken me a lot of patience writing his character cause I just want him to get to that happy point NOW! But it wouldn't be as sincere if it's rushed, so I have to remind myself to take it slow. It is tragic that Han dying is what brought Ben back. Han went out on that bridge to bring his son home, and in the end, he did... just not in the way he thought he would. It is so sad to think about, really. Geez, this story gets me emotional sometimes too. Ben finally challenging Rey on her feelings was a good moment for his character. Rey needed to be pushed to reflect on her feelings. Although, Ren sure wasn't expecting her to say those three words. Thanks for the review and for reading! Guest: You want more? Your wish is my command! SheLitAFire: I always have so many things I want to do and never stick with them. Honestly, I am shocked I've gotten this far with the story. Sticking with something for six months? So unlike me. But I am proud of myself for getting this far! Sooooo much brain power goes into the plot and keeping track of the characters. But I'm kind of a perfectionist, so I think a lot about this story. For me, when Ren brings up her family, she kinda viewed it as him being strange. She will think about that moment again though. I see your point about her being stubborn, but one of her downfalls is trusting Ren way too much– which she will notice wasn't the best thing for her to do. Their relationship is going to have a lot of ups and downs. Ren views himself as Ren, while others– Leia, Rey, Luke– view him as Ben. Others switch between Kylo and Ren. I am doing it intentionally so it shows how people view him. Ren is kind of this mixture of Ben and Kylo, while people who don't really like him think of him as Kylo. If Ren has ever thought of himself as Ben, that is an error on my part and was not intentional. It gets difficult sometimes to keep track of which name to use! lol. Glad you like it though! It can be a bit confusing. cumbercookieja: Thanks! Hope you like the chapter! mal496: I love trying to kill my readers with the feels! Muahahaha! We shall get a glimpse of hux soon! Blaze: Thanks for loving the story! I hope you keep loving it moving forward! Guest 2: Whenever Ben opens up, he gets this need to be closed off again. He doesn't really do it with Rey though. But with his mom, it's a different story. And I love rebelcaptain! I loved Rogue one so much. The scene on the beach at the end between the two of them... Ah! Gets me every time.

Okay, so as I previously stated, the chapter is rated M for sexual content. If you do not wish to read those parts, skip down to the bolded ()()()()(). Anyway, this chapter has the most Reylo I have ever written in a single chapter. They are the main focus and it jumps between their pov's a lot. Hope you enjoy the read!

Chapter Thirty-one

"I do these things… because I love you," Rey tenderly spoke, holding his hand while showing an unknown vulnerability in her hazel eyes. Now it was Ren's turn to feel poleaxed, his body going numb as he tried to comprehend what she just said.

Fates, if he heard her correctly, he pitied her. Clearly she was delusional, or she was speaking such nonsense because she felt sorry for him. He feared it was the latter.

Ren's eyes never stopped gazing at her lovely and forthcoming face. Whenever he was left in the recesses of his own mind, he'd always chased the dream of hearing her say those words to him. But here? Now? He couldn't accept it, for he lost the ability to do so long ago.

The sadness in him welled up, a rain cloud condensing over him quickly. As he struggled to organize his muddled thoughts and emotions, he touched her cheek and felt her warmth against the tips of his cold fingers. With every word that was supposed to bring them closer, his soul was giving out on them both, his heart growing logy, his mind unable to believe….

Throughout his life, Ren never knew who would leave or stay. He ended up pushing them all away, guarding his emotional heart from the daggers of disappointment. Stars, was he as much to blame for his broken family as his parents were? Maybe… he had been too difficult a child.

"Ben?" Rey whispered, grabbing his hand to still it on her face. "Did you hear me? I said I love–"

"Don't be a tragedy, Rey," he whispered with offensive gentleness.

Rey froze, her eyes widening and her mouth agape. Standing and releasing their joined palms, she stepped away, shocked by what he'd just spoken. He, on the other hand, remained seated, his features trying to exude someone that was calm and collected.

Ren failed, for he truly looked lost and sorrowful.

True to his brutal nature, he'd managed to strangle the warmth out of a situation in a fraction of a second. But he couldn't handle hearing those words come in the form of her proverbial voice. It was cruel, and he felt like he'd been tortured enough for one day.

Feeling broken and wanting to be left alone, he nodded to the door as he said, "You should go before you say something else you'll regret."

Rey closed her mouth and shook her head. "I don't regret how I feel," she staunchly held. "What I said is the truth."

"No, it's not. I don't want you saying such things because you feel sorry for me."

Her face tightened in distaste. "You think I feel sorry for you?" She scoffed incredulously, her eyes lighting up with a passionate fire. "Cause right now, pity doesn't even come close. You know what? I'm getting kinda frustrated, actually."

"I tend to do that to people."

Pursing her lips, she stood statuesque for a long stretch of time. Growing uncomfortable, Ren was tempted to say something else, because the kinetic silence that ensued was starting to become worse than the talking.

Rey was critically scrutinizing him, trying to read what was going on below his inflexible surface. At last, she said, "Ben. I love you–"

"Please, don't."

"–and you are going to listen to me explain to you why," Rey commanded, her penetrating stare making him feel small. Even as his brain cramped up over the situation, he stayed put, crossing his arms as if he could defend himself from the upcoming chorus of words.

Rey breathed deeply, rubbing her palms on her blue trousers. She was nervous and his first thought was to get up and comfort her. He resisted, even though a part of him wanted to be next to her. He wanted to be close… "I know I've been guarded and have shied away every time you've told me you love me." She said it like he was disappointed over that fact. Ren opened his mouth to argue he wasn't, but she just steamrolled right over him. "But I'm done with being partially closed off from you. That first dream we shared together – do you remember that?" Pause, then he nodded. "Before we woke, you told me I could never hate you more than you hate yourself. I – I think you've hated who you are your whole life and it makes you incapable of believing others can love you."

…. Ren couldn't argue the falsity of that observation, because there was none.

Rey chewed at her lip and fretfully played with her fingers, thinking of how to phrase her fast moving thoughts. "I… was never looking to fall in love with anyone, because my life always revolved around what I would eat that day or where would be the best place to scavenge. I fantasized about it, sure, but I never thought I would get an opportunity to experience it – like those characters from my books. I wanted the chance, though…" Her pitch became a whisper, her eyes going out-of-focus from her lonely memories.

Ren wished he could take those away from her and replace them with something she deserved.

Blinking back into reality, she continued on. "But then you appeared to me as Ben in that dream and I found myself starting to want everything." Was she remembering the same dream as him? Because he was a total ass throughout that whole – "And before you say it, yes, you were a far cry from the man you are now. You were ruthless and I'll admit, I was very afraid of you." She swallowed, gazing at him entreatingly. "But that first dream we had… the way you looked at me at the end–" she palmed her cheek"–and the way you touched me, it was so… right." Ren's fingers tingled from the recollection as Rey slightly leaned into her own touch, as if it were happening all over again. Had he really made her feel that way back then?

Finding his voice, he said, "I still don't understand what you get out of being with me." Truly, he did not. From being with her, he was blessed with the sun. But all he ever gave her was a blurred glimpse at the stars.

"What do I get from you?" She repeated incredulously. Placing her hands at the hips and gazing down at the floor, she went still and quiet, thinking over his question. "You know," Rey muttered, "my whole life people have been waiting for me to fail and laughed at me whenever I got knocked down." Her face contorted from the memory. "I got stronger and older and became Unkar's best scavenger, but beneath it all, I never truly stopped feeling insignificant. " Eyes shifting to his, she said, "Until I met you. The man you are today. Never have you made me feel like I'm not good enough. Instead, you've built me up and showed me that I can be strong and that my thoughts and opinions matter. For the first time, I feel beautiful and special and it's all from being with you. You treat me with a reverence I've never known."

Ren knew he was close to believing her, for his body became hot. At first the ease of the heat was a boon, since his skin had been unnaturally cold. But as she kept talking, his body raged with a fever as agonizing as the need to consider her feelings as truth. Breath picking up, he hoped for relief, but found none.

Rey took a step forward, placing her palm humbly over her heart. "I love you more than the bad days ahead of us, because honestly, we will get into fights. We are going to disagree and argue, but I wouldn't want to do those things with anyone else but you." Crossing over and sitting next to him, her hand rested on his thigh, her thumb moving back and forth. The touch was wholesome and mesmerizing and he couldn't look away from her petite, but strong hand.

After forever, Rey's imploring voice pierced through the blood rushing in his ears. "Now I want you to imagine all the horrible things you've done to me and know I love you more than how much you detest yourself over all of it."

Grabbing her sun kissed hand, he brought it up to his lips, his mouth brushing over her soft, youthful skin. "I've hurt you so much," he whispered.

"The Dark side has hurt me. All you've ever done is love me. You found parts of me I didn't know existed and in you, I found a love I've never known before." Fingers tapped his chin, turning his head so he would look at her. "Ben, I never believed I could love someone, because no one has ever loved me. You changed that. You did."

Fighting the pull of her words, he murmured, "I don't know if I can truly believe you–"

"Then feel it." His mind instantaneously became light, transmitting that she was completely open to him.

What do I do?

There were only two outcomes to the situation: she either truly loved him, or she didn't. And in his experience of dealing with emotion, both endings were equally painful. Ones effects were just more immediate than the other.

Taking in a deep breath, he descended into the part of his soul that was linked to hers, slowly inching the bond between them open–

Ren stopped breathing.

He'd never been in a speeder accident before, but he had a feeling that this what was they were like. You were going along, minding your own space when suddenly everything you were thinking about before the crossroads was put on hold, replaced by a collision that became your one and only priority.

In this case, the collision was the realization that Rey loved him and accepted him for who he was.

Her feelings roared across his thoughts like an epic invasion, a resounding blast of her power ripping right through, lighting up the marrow in his bones and sending a spark tossing and turning inside of his heart. It exploded on impact in a glorious rush of strength, while simultaneously wrapping him in the vestments of tranquility.

From this experience, Ren felt like he could leap from the tallest cliff and fly. He was whole, complete, solid in his head and heart and body, all his puzzle pieces in perfect fitting order, that dark soul of his lit and rendered to a refined symmetry for once in his malevolent life.

He had to shut the connection off before he blacked out from the sheer overwhelming conviction of her feelings. Fortunately, she didn't take offense, but instead understood why he had to do it.

Releasing the trapped air from his lungs, he gasped like he'd been drowning and had finally broken through to the surface. "You…love me," he hoarsely whispered as he ran out of words. Thoughts. Impulses.

Pushing stray hairs from his face, Rey softly said, "Believe me now?"

And then he did something that was rare: he smiled. A big, goofy, unrelenting smile. The kind that pushed back your ears and crinkled your eyes till it became hard to see. Ren laughed like he used to as a child: silly and carefree. The impossible had now become the possible, the joy over it all filling him to the brim and this time, he let it all overflow and spill out into his heart.

Drawing her into an enveloping embrace, she laughed right along with him, her bright glee a song unto his ears. They rode the waves of merriment till their stomachs could no longer bear the sting.

Even after the room fell into silence, he kept holding her, burying his face in the dampness of her hair, breathing in the fresh fragrance. Brushing his lips along her neck, he could feel her chest heave against him, her head lolling to the side to provide him better access. Trailing up to her jaw, he languidly searched for the curvature of her lips.

When he kissed her, it felt like… perfection.

Stars, how he loved kissing her. He loved feeling her mouth against his, loved having her close, loved taking her breath into his lungs, stringing her hair through his fingers, loved… her. But now that there was no difference of emotion between them, he found himself wanting her.

Bad.

By just sitting there and existing, she somehow reached beyond his celibacy and enticed upon the man beneath the discipline, stirring up something deep and primal. The unexpected tilting sensation moved his mind beyond the avenues of conversation and into his desires to be intimate.

"Rey?"

"Yes?"

"I want to see you," he whispered low into her ear.

She pulled back slightly, arching a brow. "I'm right here."

"I want to see… all of you." He clammed up as he realized what he was asking of her, feeling like he'd tripped on the conversational equivalent of an upturned rug edge. But then the unexpected happened: Rey's lids drooped, her eyes became hazy, and her lips parted enough that they caught his attention. His ability to sense her desire for him was unnecessary, because her intentions were as transparent as Jelucani fogstone.

"Okay," was all her winded voice could assemble.

With his pupils darting between her hazel stare, Ren stroked her hair, and it was a while before he asked what was on the tip of his tongue. "Will you let me… make love to you?"

()()()()()

Rey's heart pounded so violently, she could have sworn she'd just ran up those damn stairs on Ahch-To again. But nope. This had nothing to do with exercise and everything to do with what Ben just asked her.

"Y-yes," she stuttered. Ben didn't move immediately, but rather stayed close and studied her face. Was he trying to make sure she was actually fine with where this was headed?

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to," he told her.

"I want to," she said quickly, grabbing his arm. "I… I've wanted this for a very long time."

"Me too, but Rey, you're trembling." She'd been hoping it was from suddenly becoming cold, but as Ben touched her cheek and she felt his warm palm, she knew the shaking was all from her doing.

Ben pulled away and bent over to take off his boots. Then he flipped back the blankets, crawled into the bed, and motioned for her to join him. "Here. You should get under the covers with me."

"But I want –"

"We have time," he amusingly grinned. "We can take it slow. Let me just hold you for a while. Okay?"

Knowing that resistance was futile, Rey nodded and let him position her head on his bicep and her leg over his waist. Facing him, he played with her dampened locks, twisting and combing them with his fingers. The monotonous movement calmed her somewhat, helping to dispel the quivering.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out.

Ben frowned. "For what?"

"I ruined the moment, didn't I?"

His hand settled in her hair. "You didn't ruin anything. I love laying here with you. And you should never apologize to me. Remember?"

"But you want me."

"I always want you, but I want you to be ready."

"I am." His eyes narrowed. "Really, I am. It's just…."

"What?"

As the minutes passed while trying to come up with what to say, Rey realized that there was no dancing around the truth, that the best thing to do would be to get it all out in the open.

She inhaled deeply, her eyes darting from his face, to his chest, to the ceiling. "I've… never… done this… before," Rey bashfully admitted.

Ben restarted the smoothing of her hair, soothing her nerves and giving her the strength to look at him. "I know," was all he whispered, his eyes full of understanding.

And zero judgment.

She chuckled sardonically to try and ease the rest of the tension. "Honestly, I shouldn't be acting this way over something that isn't a big deal."

"Sex is a big deal," he countered.

Rolling her eyes, she said, "Well, yes, it is. But people do it all the time, so I really shouldn't be freaking out this much."

Ben shook his head against the pillow, inadvertently ruffling his hair. "Other people don't matter. Right now, all that matters is you and me. Don't compare yourself to what other people do."

But… it was difficult not to compare. Ben had so much more experience than her and she wanted this to be perfect and–

"Rey," he said as their eyes met. "Can I ask you something personal?" She nodded and then he swallowed, moving his throat up and down. "Have you ever… pleasured yourself?"

"You mean…" she glanced down to her waist.

"Yes."

Oh.

"Uhhh, no. I never really learned about that… stuff. I would overhear some of the women at the washing station talk about sex and different things, but I never really understood all of it. I mean, I understand the basics, but some of the stuff they said confused me and…" her voice trailed off. "I sound pathetic, don't I?" Here she was, at the adult age of nineteen and she didn't even know how to truly be with a man.

And Ben was very much a man.

"Given the situation you grew up in, it doesn't sound pathetic in the slightest," he said sympathetically. Ben tucked a hair behind her ear, his eyes suddenly growing nervous, but needful. "Will you let me do something for you?"

"What is it?"

There was a quiet moment. "I want to make you feel good," Ben said softly, deeply. "If you'll let me."

Rey's stomach knotted, but not from worry. This feeling was warm, and it traveled throughout her bloodstream, loosening her muscles. "What… what would you do?"

"I would touch you here." His palm hovered over her chest and then roamed beneath the blankets, down her stomach before lightly tapping on the very edge of her pelvis, right between her legs. "And further down from here." A lick of heat shot through her, coalescing between her thighs and making her breathing uneven.

"Yes," she said with a confidence that surprised even her. "Please." Later, much later, she would reflect that those two words were the precipice. Yes, please. Truly, it opened the gateway for everything that followed.

Ben let out a deep breath that lasted a lifetime and she could have sworn he murmured thank you, but her heartbeat was all the way up in her head, blocking out the tiniest of noises.

Next she knew he was on top of her, bearing all his weight on his forearms. Bending down, he put his lips to hers and kissed her carefully. But what started off as soft quickly turned intense as his tongue declared its dominance and her mouth became numb from the passion.

Abruptly, he pulled away, leaving her dizzy and confused. Ben was now upright and straddling her, his eyes peering through disheveled hair: dark, lustful, and hungry. "May I undress you?"

Rey nodded, because she couldn't trust her voice to work. Ben grabbed the shirt's edge, languidly bringing it up, up, and over her head and through her arms as her hair bundled upon the pillow. Cool air swept across her bare flesh, making her involuntarily shiver.

Sitting there, Ben's mouth fell open, his eyes glued to her chest. Her tight pink nipples and minuscule breasts were fully displayed, because conveniently, Rey hadn't put on her chest wrap.

Watching Ben watch her, a strong sense of insecurity gripped her mind again – especially as Ben made no effort to move. Rey covered her chest with her arms and shut her eyes, wondering if she wasn't attractive enough for him to want to touch her.

Big hands gently pulled at her wrists. "Don't hide. You're beautiful, Rey, and I just want to look at you." She let up and let him bring her arms to the side. "You're so strong," his palms traced her flat stomach, "and stunning." Ben leaned down, trailing his lips along the long scar he had given her a lifetime ago. Making his way up to her face, his lips met hers as his right palm cupped her small breast. Rey relaxed into him, grabbing the nape of his neck to pull him closer.

His mouth wandered down, his body shimmying so he was eye level with her torso. He planted kisses along her collarbone, sternum, and every inch of skin he could find. Dipping down to her chest–

Rey's whole body torqued, an electric heat frying every thought and raising every hair as Ben took one of her nipples into his mouth. As he drew her flesh between his lips, sucking, tonguing, flicking it ever so gently, she moaned and dug her fingers harder into his hair.

The suckling just kept going, and she was so into the sensation of his warm mouth that she didn't realize his body was positioned off to the side, his hand lazying downward, going beneath her trousers and honing in on–

Rey gasped as he swept his fingers against the slickness, a spark of fire forming in the depths of her gut. Ben released the pulls on her flesh, resting his forehead against her sternum, panting his hot breath against her skin. "You're so wet," he mumbled, his rumbling voice vibrating her bones.

"Is –" she cleared her throat. "Is that good?"

"Yes, it's very good." He craned his head up. "I won't stop unless you want me to." And she knew that if she did, he would. No questions asked.

"I don't want you to stop." Without a doubt, she wanted to explore that feeling further and she wanted Ben to take her there.

Keeping his palm at her core, he scooted up and rotated between kissing her mouth, nipping at her neck, and nuzzling into her hair. All the while gently massaging her down below.

Everything was slow and rhythmic, a bombardment of sensations that left her wanting more and more. He wasn't rough, but he did pick up the pace, which was exactly what she wanted.

Her urgency got raw quick, and Ben didn't tease her by slowing down or stopping. Instead his fingers slid inside of her, his thumb circling up top as he massaged from within. There was a small sense of invasion and oddity to it all, but the way her body resplendently responded made it feel natural at the same time.

Ben kept up the tempo, like he somehow knew from her moans and gasps that she was getting close to something amazing, something she didn't fully understand. The tingling and pressure started at her core and in her toes, both separate, but entirely identical. Feeling wound up, that coil deep inside wound tighter and tighter and tighter – and when it finally snapped free, Rey shattered, her blood turning into gold, her body lighting up from the divine.

Ben kissed her at that moment, tasting her moans against his lips and tongue. His hand gradually slowed as he helped her ride out the waves till she was spent, flayed, and unable to move. She'd been deprived of experiencing this feeling, and now, all she wanted to do was lay here for a year and have it done to her over and over and over again.

Ben rustled around and she opened her eyes to see him lift his shirt up over his abs, his broad chest, his neck, and then his head. Using it as a rag, he quickly cleaned off his hand and threw it to the ground without a thought.

Rey's eyes ate him up: his thick muscles stood out in sharp relief, carved from his years of discipline, powerful even though, in this moment, he appeared to be gentle.

Focusing back on her, Ben's fingers dipped into her waistband and leisurely slid both her pants and undergarment all the way down to her ankles, taking them completely off and letting them fall to the floor.

Her breathing hitched, but she didn't make him stop. She was going to do this, and no amount of nerves were going to stop it now.

Moving his knees between her legs, he opened her wider, pushing her thighs open with his palms… until he could see every intimate detail: her light patch of hair and glossy core. She watched him steadily as his eyes glowed in awe, his lips partially opening. "You're divine," he whispered. Bending her legs up, he started to stoop down, his face going–

She snapped her knees together, almost crushing his head between the sudden movement. Ben withdrew in surprise and looked up at her puzzled face.

"What… what are you doing?" she asked, on the verge of abrupt panic.

His eyes darted across her body nervously as he said, "I, uh, wanted to kiss you."

"But my lips are up here," she disputed, pointing at her mouth.

Biting at his inner cheek, he glanced down at his wide hands resting on her knees for a long and substantial moment. Then he gazed back at her. "Those weren't the lips I was after," he finally admitted.

Rey blinked rapidly and began to stammer out a sentence. "I… that's not… why…" Ben rubbed her legs soothingly, calming her down.

"I won't do that, and I'm sorry I didn't ask first."

Was he… Was he really– "Do people do that sort of thing?" Rey asked, slightly curious and a whole lot of confused.

"Yes."

Rey gulped. For reasons unknown to her, having him down there seemed way more intimate than the actual act of having sex. The whole idea made her sort of nervous. Take out the sort of. "I – I don't know how I feel about doing that…"

"It's okay and again, I'm sorry for upsetting you. We can try it later or not at all. Whatever you want to do."

In the quiet that followed, Rey found herself studying Ben's face as if she were trying to re-memorize what was already marked on her brain. Then again, she wasn't actually looking at his attractive features. She was searching for some sense of courage inside herself. Or, like, anything that would help her get this moment back on track. "Okay…" He smiled at her and she thought about how her shot of panic just derailed everything. Again. "I'm–"

"You didn't ruin anything, Rey," he assured her. "I still want to be with you."

And boy, did his stare let her know that.

"Good," she said in relief. Ben attempted to crawl up to kiss her, but was stopped by her leg against his chest. "I don't want to be the only one naked here. Doesn't seem fair."

Chest steadily rising and falling, Ben paused before slowly twisting off the bed. His hands went for his trousers, but then froze, glancing up at Rey. It took her a second to recognize the expression he wore, because it wasn't one he showed very often. More like never.

Ben was strikingly nervous, and it would seem they had now swapped roles.

Before she could coax him into being comfortable, he gritted his teeth and dropped everything to his ankles, kicking off the pants and leaving his naked form behind.

She sat up, rotating her legs over the edge. Immediately, her sight zeroed in on his manhood, noting how long and hard it was, the black patches of hair hiding nothing from her view. She'd never seen this part of a man before, and at first, the size of him was intimidating. How is that supposed to fit? How much is it going to hurt? But then, tossing away her nerves, the reality of getting a step closer to being with him brought about a welcomed itch of excitement.

Having an innate need to feel him in her palm, Rey let her body take control and approached him, stopping when her breasts pressed up against his chest, her left hand resting on his defined pec. "You're beautiful, Ben."

His eyes enlarged and she didn't give him a chance to respond as her hand traveled down and grasped him, making him hiss. The feel of him was hot, rigid, and shockingly smooth. Never at any moment of her life had Rey been possessive over a person or one who sought after power, but in this moment, witnessing how she made Ben react, she'd never felt so dominant in her life.

She liked it.

Ben didn't let her explore the feeling much further. He grabbed the back of her thighs and hoisted her up like her weight was obsolete, wrapping her legs around his middle as he made for the bed. He kept her in his hold as they went vertical, the softness of his tip right at her opening.

Softly, he whispered, "This is probably going to be painful at first for you. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes. I don't want to go back," Rey stated as he stroked her cheek.

Ben's deep dark eyes became serene, the color like that of a night sky with thousands of twinkling stars. There was a need there except there was so much more: reverence, gratitude… a vulnerability with no shame to mask it.

Lips locking, the ache in her core began to spread throughout her whole body like wildfire across dry grass. And she knew the only balm to her ache was Ben. As he entered her on a slow, gentle glide, she welcomed him not just with her body, but with her soul, both gasping from the contact.

But as he went deeper, she winced from the unexpected sharp pain, her face contorting and lips pursed. No, no, no… This wasn't how she wanted this to go.

Ben stopped. "Are you alright?"

Rey took deep breaths. "It… hurts more than I thought it would."

"Do you want to stop?"

Shaking her head, she asked, "Do I get used to this after a while?"

"Yes."

"Then I want to keep going," Rey demanded. "Are you… all the way in?" Really, she didn't know how else to ask that question.

Ben shifted a tad on top of her, his nose almost grazing over hers. "Uhhhh, no. I'm just half way."

Great.

"I'll go slow –"

"No, Just do it" she said, swiping some stray hairs from her face. Oh wait, that was Ben's hair that was tickling her skin. "I want this part over with as fast as possible."

"You sure?"

Rey nodded and braced–

Ben thrusted, hitting deep and making her cry out as the agony flared and her body yelled at her to stop this process altogether. She didn't realize how hard she was clutching onto him until she felt her nails digging into his back and her face buried in his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Ben breathed into her ear. "I'm–"

"It's not your fault," she interrupted through clenched teeth. "I'm guessing this is what being a woman entails."

"It's unfair to you." More like unfair to the female species. Fates, she thought. I should've been born a man.

"Let me just... get used to this for a second."

Please don't let me ruin this; please don't let me ruin this; please don't let me ruin this.

()()()()()

Rey was all the power and splendor of the universe coalesced into one living, breathing thing, a miracle he'd been granted in spite of the fact that he was underserving of anything but isolation.

On top and inside, her warmth and tightness surrounded Ren's arousal, electrifying all the nerve endings at the tip. Being this close and giving her the first taste of release was like touching the sun and somehow not incinerating. What a privilege; what an honor to be worshiping her in such a way.

Except this experience was turning out to be much different for her, and didn't that just rack him with guilt.

Watching her face ease out of the pain, he rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs, helping to smooth out the lines. "I think if you open the connection and feel what I feel, it might help you," he suggested on a whim, not knowing if it would work. She nodded as their minds and feelings melded and he worked at pushing away her pain and replacing it with his bliss.

Rey sighed, relaxing her locked joints and stiff muscles, her eyes closing in contentment. Now with zero barriers, mentally and physically, it was infinitely easier to gage her desires and feelings and all he wanted to do was make this experience magnificently perfect for her.

He kept his eyes locked on her as he brought their mouths together softly. Stroking and caressing, he licked at her lips as he started to move in the smallest of pushes, careful not to hurt her.

But soon, the caution was no longer needed.

Ren felt her body yearn and claw for him, a delicious unfurling washing through her, relaxing and easing, bringing on a peaceful encouragement that was profound and poetic. Or was that him feeling these things? Her pain became an afterthought, and he didn't know if it was because she was focusing on taking in his gratification or if she was now used to the filling sensation.

Without words or hesitations, they moved together, building momentum, gathering intensity. They held onto each other, her nails raking his flesh, his arms under her and squeezing.

Soon, the movements became too passionate for them to stay mouth to mouth, especially since he was so much taller than her. Making his back straight, her head tucked right below his chin, there moans intermixed into the still air. Ren felt the pressure building not just in himself, but in Rey as well. He held off till she was right on the precipice. When he finally came, it was on a last curl of his spine and a pulsing in her core, and she went along with him, the two of them wrapped up tight, breathing in the ecstasy.

And he thought his daydreams were hot? The real thing made those feel like room temperature compared to the surface of Mustafar.

As he sagged into her, his body spent, his mind at peace, he felt some part of himself return – a part that had been gone for a while, but that he hadn't really been aware of missing. A part that was completely… Ben.

"Are you okay?" he asked, lifting his head.

Rey's face was flushed and her hair was strewn all over the white pillow. In her eyes shined the evidence of satisfaction, and didn't that just make him proud. "I'm more than okay. That was… amazing," Rey said breathlessly.

Reaching up to his face, she cupped it and with gentle contact, commanded all of him, his body and his mind and his soul: She owned him and everything he was and everything he shall be, from the monster in the void to the man in the skin.

He was hers.

Aaaaand then the emotional celebration came to a crashing halt as he realized what they'd just done… without any form of protection. The panic drove him to close off the connection, making Rey confused.

"Are… are you okay?" she stammered. "I know I probably wasn't as good as the other women you've been with–"

"I came in you," he stated, eyes becoming wide.

"What are–" Rey paused as she understood what he was getting at. "Oh. Ooooooh." She chuckled while lightly sweeping back his hair. "It doesn't matter because I can't get pregnant."

"What?"

"Yeah." Rey shrugged. "I've only had my period a handful of times throughout my life and even I know that's not a good sign. Last time I had my period was, like, over a year ago."

But… that's not possible. The vision… on Ahch-To… "You… you can't get pregnant?"

"Nope." Rey misread Ren's remote expression as disappointment. "Uh, I'm sorry if you were hoping I could. I wish I could have children and maybe there is a chance I can… I don't know. I – I don't want you to think less of me because–"

He stopped her right there. "You think I want children?"

Her brows went up and bunched together. "Maybe? I'm finding it hard to read your expression right now."

With a sigh, he slid out of her and sat back on his knees, calling his tossed aside shirt into his grasp.

"I'm not interested in having kids," he murmured as he wiped Rey clean, all the while feeling her studious eyes upon his face. "Trust me. I'm about as nurturing as a blaster."

"I think you'd be a great father."

That statement gutted him, even though that wasn't Rey's intention.

Ren hung his head, putting all his attention on wiping himself as he grew grim. He didn't know what to say to her. Obviously he disagreed, but he didn't want to offend her by saying she was wrong on so many levels.

"If it makes you feel better, I can go see Dr. Kalonia in the morning and get a contraceptive," she said, attempting to change the subject.

He nodded, but didn't look at her. "Yeah, that's a good idea."

Rey sat up on her knees and inched forward. Interlacing her fingers behind his neck, their eyes met. "Can you hold me now? Please?" she tenderly asked.

Bringing him with her, she shuffled back and laid them down, his big hands stroking over her back. With her wrapped tightly in his arms, everything seemed perfect, even though his thoughts were still reeling – "Wait," Ren said, his fingers pausing against her silky skin. "Did you say something about me being with other women?"

Rey's head tilted up as he gazed down at her timid eyes. "Y-yes. I was trying to say that I know I'm not as experienced as the other women you've been with, but for me, the whole experience was perfect. Especially since it was with you."

"You think I've had sex before?" Surely he told her about his inexperience. It had to have come up at some point… and then it dawned on him that it never had.

"Haven't you? You seemed to know what you were doing–"

"I'm a virgin," he admitted quickly. "Or was. My first time was with you."

Rey looked back with a fair amount of surprise before eyeing him intently. "If – If you're lying to me to make me feel better–"

"I'm not." With his arms still wrapped around her, he rolled onto his back, bringing her on top of him before quickly giving her a kiss. "I've never been with anyone before you."

She traced his collarbone with her fingers, trying to figure out how that was possible. "But… you're thirty and you've been with the First Order and you've traveled the galaxy and–"

"I was a Jedi, remember? Sexual relations were frowned upon."

"But… you fell to the Dark side…."

His palms roamed up and down her sides, gliding over the curves of her ribs. "While the Dark side encourages you not to bridle your passions, I had different ideas. I wanted to rid myself of emotion, and having sex would hardly help in that matter. It would make it worse, actually." Because he always knew he had problems with attachments… and affection.

"Oh." Rey paused. "You don't regret–"

"No," he interrupted, shaking his head. "Never. This? This was perfect."

This was the first time in his whole existence that he ever felt… blessed. Happy. Fortunate. This moment, this perfect, sublime moment in time where he was flat on his back, Rey laying on top of him, both of them without the barrier of clothing… this was a gift.

Resting her temple on his sternum, she basically dissolved into him and whispered, "This whole time I thought you'd been with someone before me. But I'm so happy I was your first. Sounds kinda selfish, but… I don't want to share you with anyone."

"Sounds like someone was jealous," he jabbed at her playfully.

"Oh, I was. I'll admit." Rey laughed. "I so totally was."

He knew that it was inconsiderate to be glad over her being jealous, but feelings could rarely be controlled. "Well, you'll never have to feel that way again, because I will always be yours."

Thinking back to the first time Ren ever saw her, he had wanted her completely to himself. When one of the stormtroopers had offered to take the girl for him, he refused so harshly that no one dared to speak to him the remainder of the flight back to base. Even after Rey saw into his fears, her untrained power had chained him sure as if every ounce of her strength had come with steel links.

The more she challenged him, the stronger the hooks became.

And then after the fight on Starkiller? He became so extremely territorial that he'd scaled extreme lengths to try and rid the feeling, but in the end, he epically failed. And he was glad he did. Of course, at the time, he hadn't planned on her being the love of his life, but fate had other ideas.

Thank the Force she was willing to have him. For once, something had worked in his favor.

Grinning so wide his cheeks about split into two, Ren whispered into her hair, "And I want you to know… I'll always trust you." Truly, after everything that had happened in his life, Rey was the only person he could rely upon.

And he wanted her to know it.

She lifted her head and gave him a quick kiss before nuzzling further against his chest, muttering, "I love you, too."

During the night, they continuously lost themselves in each other, but they found themselves there, too. They were two deprived souls finding comfort together, binding their individual heartstrings as one until separation now became impossible. Maybe the reason they were brought together wasn't just to rid the galaxy of his former master; maybe Rey needed someone to show her how to love, and he needed someone to show him how to live.

()()()()()

Rey gently swung her legs back and forth as she sat on the examination table, waiting for Dr. Kalonia to come back with the test results. Initially, Rey came here thinking she was just getting a simple contraceptive, but after the doctor suggested that they should check on her fertility, the appointment became much longer.

And when Ben agreed she should get it done, Rey had little to no voice in the matter. But she didn't really mind. The view was good from where she was sitting. Ben was seated in the plush chair in the corner, his nose basically sniffing that book of his. On the Motion of the Heart and Blood in Chagrians, she read the title to herself. Such information did not hold her interest, but it sure did hold Ben's.

He really is studious… and she loved it.

Studying his strong frame, she recalled how she had fallen asleep on his chest, listening to the soft rhythm of his beating heart. Everything about last night had been a wonderful gift, one she never thought she'd get to experience. There were no boundaries separating them anymore, which felt so freeing and exotic… and different.

Everything seemed so much different now, like their relationship somehow shifted over into being more effortless than before. No longer trying to hide his need for her, she had woken up to Ben's huge body pushing into her, a hard, warm length against her hip. He'd never woken her up like that before, but she didn't mind it in the slightest. Being wanted was such a comforting feeling.

After some fondling in bed, they lounged together for a bit, talking about anything and everything.

Lying on her stomach, weight on her arms, Rey lifted her torso as she gazed up at Ben. Hand cradling his head, he lounged on his side, trailing his fingers up and down her spine lazily. "You know, I've been thinking that maybe you should try talking to Jess?" she brought up randomly.

His caressing faltered for a moment before picking back up. "I don't know…"

"I think she's going through a tough time. Maybe you two talking could help her," Rey advised, watching as his brows lowered over his eyes.

"Has she told you this?"

She shook her head, her hair gliding over the sheets. "No, the few times I've seen her in our room she didn't talk to me. She basically ignored that I existed." Rey glanced down at her hands and started to pick at her nails. "I'm thinking maybe I should find a new roommate or–"

"Move in here."

Her surprised stare shot up to his. "What?"

Ben's palm remained quiet on her back as he shrugged. "Well, I mean, you pretty much live here anyways."

Oh my goodness. He's serious. "Wouldn't we get in trouble?"

"By who? You're a part of the Jedi Order and don't necessarily answer to the Resistance."

"What about you?"

He gave her a flat stare, showing her he really didn't care about any repercussions. "I doubt they'd punish me over it. And technically, I still answer to Skywalker since I was a Jedi Master. But if you don't feel comfortable–"

"Yes."

He slid closer, smiling. "You sure?"

"Like you said, I basically live here. I can bring over my stuff after I have lunch with the general." Ben's smile faltered for a fraction of a second, but then he composed himself, making Rey wonder if what she saw really happened.

Rey knew he wasn't excited over the plan of her having lunch with his mother. Admittedly, when she looked at her datapad upon waking, Rey had been quite surprised to see the invitation. His mother had wished to have lunch with them both, but Ben shot that down immediately, probably thinking that if he didn't go, she wouldn't either. But she was not going to refuse the invite, and even though she could sense that Ben wanted her to, she appreciated him keeping his mouth shut.

Besides, how else was Rey to hear stories about his childhood? Ben certainly wasn't going to chat about it.

Finally deciding to get ready for their day, they went into the refresher and Ben tugged her along into the shower.

And here she thought the shower was luxurious because of the water? Put two agile people in that cozy, steamy box and the experience went into the realm of being sumptuous.

Rey's stomach knotted from the memories of exploring Ben's–

"Stop that." Ben peered over his book, eyes narrowing.

"Stop what?"

Lowering the thick volume onto his lap, he said, "Your emotions are very obtrusive."

She put on an innocent front. "Oh, are they making you want me?"

…"Yes."

Rey sensually smiled. "Then why are you still on the other side of the room?"

He was surprised by her frankness and glanced around the not-so-secretive setting. "We're in a medical facility. Someone could walk through that door at any moment–"

"Wouldn't you be able to sense them before they came in?" Rey playfully countered, taking way too much satisfaction in getting a reaction out of him.

Leaning forward, elbows to knees, his head dipped as he gazed at her sinfully. "Not if my senses are caught up in… someone else," his deep voice resonated through her spine.

"Mmmm, I'm willing to take the risk."

Ben rested back as he crossed his arms, a mischievous smile upturning his lips. "Looks like you've figured out how to be a tease."

The door slid open and Dr. Kalonia stepped in, a datapad and a white, steaming mug in her hands. Ben stood, shooting Rey an I-told-you-so as she responded with the most guiltless looking shrug she could conjure.

Her effort didn't quite make it.

"Okay," Harter greeted, putting her hot cup on the counter as Ben neared the examination table, his book left on the chair. "Is there anything I can get you two? Some caf, perhaps?"

Rey shook her head and Ben replied, "No, thank you." It was strange to see him use proper manners with someone other than her, but she knew Harter wasn't just anyone. "Caf doesn't agree with me," he tacked on.

Harter chuckled. "Does it still put you to sleep?"

"Caf makes you fall asleep?" Rey asked in shock. "Isn't it supposed to do the opposite?"

"For most people it does wake them up, but for some it has the opposite effect," Harter explained, gliding over a hoverstool so she could sit. "Sometimes it can cause an insulin response that dramatically lowers the blood sugar and cause one to feel exhausted. Or the body makes too much adenosine and prevents the caffeine from blocking it, making you more tired than you originally were." Rey decided not to ask what adenosine was and to play along like she just understood everything.

Ben would most likely jump at the opportunity to explain it to her later when she asked. And boy, was she gonna need to set aside an hour of her day just for that.

"The results aren't good, are they?" Ben asked. Harter was taken aback by his candor, as was Rey. "You're stalling, which you don't do unless there's something you don't want to say."

Dr. Kalonia breathed in deeply, glancing down at the datapad and then fixing her gaze on Rey. "Do you want him to be in here while I talk to you about this? You have a right to privacy."

Rey's stomach unwillingly fell, for she knew that grave expression never bestowed good news. "He can stay. I'd just end up telling him everything anyway." And whatever it was, she didn't want to repeat it. Or try to explain it to him. That would be like a botanist attempting to explain quantum mechanics to a scientist. Rey liked to think she was slightly above average intellectually, but this was Ben's playing field, not hers.

Harter nodded, pausing for a moment before dealing Rey a verbal blow. "I'm sorry Rey, but you most likely will never be able to have children."

Things became a little hazy after that as she looked over Harter's head at the white wall behind. There was no texture to the partition, just a smooth, pale surface that appeared to be brand new and spotless. How she wished she were faultless and young again – to be given the choice as to how she wanted her life to play out. Maybe she would have done something differently, like leave Jakku before her body became internally ruined. But even if she were sent back in time, she probably would have still stayed, waiting for ghosts.

Stars, she thought. Jakku really did rob me of everything, didn't it.

At least Ben was still in the game, asking the good doctor questions. Vaguely, Rey heard words like 'malnutrition' and 'tissue deterioration' and 'low hormone levels' being thrown around. Honestly, she didn't care for the medical talk, because knowing didn't change anything. In this case, knowledge wasn't a cure.

Replaying her wasteful life, Rey almost laughed at her years of foolishness and naiveté, but then sobered as she thought over her diagnosis. Infertile. It was interesting; this feeling that bloomed out of her subconscious. Never had she really thought about children until she met Ben and even then, it wasn't constantly on her thoughts. But now that it was impossible, she truly felt like grieving. Guess you never knew how much you wanted something until you couldn't have it.

And if she ever wanted it, she couldn't think of anyone else she'd rather experience parenthood with but Ben.

"Rey?" Harter asked, bringing Rey out of her pensive thoughts. "Do you still want a contraceptive in your arm?"

Rey about laughed at what seemed like a joke, but she decided against such an approach since Kalonia was only looking at her with compassion. "No. I don't see the point anymore," she responded flatly.

She was expecting to be pushed further on the subject, especially from Ben. But neither him, nor Kalonia raised the issue. The two talked a little more about her condition before Harter stood and went for her caf on the counter. "I'll give you two some privacy. You can leave whenever you're ready," she said with a gentle smile, slipping out of the door quietly.

Feeling like she wanted to fall in on herself, Rey drew her legs up, wrapping her arms around her knees and lowering her chin. She seemed so fragile that way, just a twist of flesh and bone atop a wide examination table. Indeed, she felt like if she moved too quickly, she might break and be unable to be put back together.

Rey glanced over at Ben briefly, a quick cursory review of his knit brows and thinned out lips. He was deep in thought and appeared to be… disheartened? She wasn't sure and she figured that she should apologize–

His eyes snapped to hers. "Don't you dare apologize," he forcibly said as she went back to looking at the bland wall.

If I want to apologize, then I can damn well apologize! Stop telling me I can't! she screamed through her thoughts. Rey couldn't tell if Ben heard them or not. She was tempted to voice them, but eased back. It wasn't him she was mad at, and it would be unfair to take the situation out on him.

Rey inhaled. "This… isn't fair," she simply stated. "I've never put much thought into having kids, but now that the option has been taken from me, I feel… heartbroken." She met his steady stare. "Weird, huh?"

He shook his head. "No, it's not weird. Not at all." Walking over to Kalonia's vacant stool, he sat before her, looking up with gentle care. "Listen, technology has come a long way over a thousand years, and there's always a chance that something could change this."

She hadn't been expecting him to try and offer a solution. "Would you want me to do that?"

"It has nothing to do with me and everything to do with what you want."

Rey smoothed her hair. Swiped under her eyes. Took a deep breath. "Would you ever want to have a child of your own?"

Clearing his throat, it looked as if he struggled to find the right words. "I, uh… like I said last night, I'm not very nurturing."

"I think you are, even if you don't. But I want a yes or no answer to the question."

"Honestly?" He searched her face. "No, I don't want children, but–"

"Then I guess this is a good thing then," she tersely cut him off. Ben caught on that she didn't want to talk about it anymore. Even though there were a lot of different emotions going through her, it was really good to have Ben here and to hear his honesty. It made the whole situation somewhat bearable.

Grabbing her shaky hands into his steady ones, he said, "Rey, I want you to know that you and I are a forever kind of thing. That's how I view it, anyway. I'm all in. No matter what happens. I want us to be together for however long we're alive."

"Together?"

Knowing of the future that was in store for her, she knew that her and Ben might not have forever. And didn't that just make her somber.

"Together," he whispered.

()()()()()

Ren sat off to the side, occupying his usual spot against the wall of the training facility. He'd been sitting there for an hour, thinking over the vision he experienced on Ahch-To. At first, after hearing Rey's test results, he'd been confused as to if that possible future had been authentic, but then he recalled specific details:

"You two didn't question when she missed her period?" Kalonia asked.

More prying questions came his way that forced him to think harder, when all his body wanted to do was pass out from shock and exhaustion. "I– Well, Rey was so malnourished growing up that she has never been consistent. I just thought…" Ben's voice teetered off as the news finally sunk in, making his face glow with elation.

Fates, he remembered watching himself become so overjoyed by that news. That man had wanted children; that man had been happy about it. But what would he do if it actually happened? He wasn't that person in the vision. He never would be.

And when Rey refused the contraceptive, Ren had come close to arguing, but digressed. Was there a chance of her getting pregnant now? Possibly, but her actual life turned out differently than what had been shown to him in that vision. In that separate timeline, he found her years before she'd turned nineteen, and possibly before the damage of malnutrition became permanent.

Now, the impossibility of Rey ever conceiving children was definitive. Harter had been blunt as Rey had zoned out and Ren asked his questions.

Ren sighed, not knowing what to think. He should probably tell Rey about what he saw on Ahch-To… and while in the midst of confessing secrets, he should also come clean about her parents. When should he do that? After lunch? Before dinner? No, late tonight. There was bound to be some crying, yelling, and wailing once she accepted the truth. No need to have anyone witness that. He, on the other hand, would help her through it and not leave her to the impending anguish. And maybe, if she was up for it, they could make a plan to find the rest of the answers regarding her family.

He brought the thick book up to eye level, thinking about how heavy the text was. At least it wasn't as heavy as the weight he felt on his heart.

The next two hours of Rey's training went smoothly as Skywalker had her go back and forth between having her practice Force telekenetics, dueling, and various mind blocks. For substantial stretches of time, Ren would gaze over his book and watch Rey, considering her as she dodged the various objects Skywalker Force pushed her way. Lacking the curves most women wore, her powerfully lithe body looked beautiful to him, stirring parts of himself that were becoming greedy the more he stared.

Apparently, he wasn't the only one with the same ideas.

Rey was starting to draw a particular amount of soldiers as spectators – which just so happened to all be men. Not surprisingly, this brought out Ren's territorial feelings, causing him to lose focus on the book and Rey all together. Ren didn't have to hear their thoughts to know what circulated their inappropriate minds.

Welcome to the wonderful galaxy of jealousy. The price of admission is heightened hostility, the overwhelming urge to shatter bones, and an inferiority complex that will make you feel the size of a pea. Ren froze even though he wasn't moving. Sarcasm was becoming an issue, as of late. Like Ben was making up for lost time and punishing him for keeping the guy on mute for the last six years.

You think you're sarcastic? Try insane– because thinking of yourself as two different people isn't healthy.

Ren rolled his eyes.

Luckily for the group of ogling soldiers, they left before Ren's anger got to the stage of seeking reprisal. Trying to calm his annoyance and frustration with himself – not to mention his attraction to Rey – he went back to reading. Fortunately, focusing on the pathophysiology of Chagrians didn't take much effort since the material turned out to be way more engrossing than anticipated. He just couldn't get over the fact that their hearts had six chambers instead of the expected four.

Then again, it wasn't just the subject matter holding his attention. Studying always seemed to give him somewhere to go when he stayed right where he was.

Flipping through the pages, he discovered an in depth illustration and diagram of how the blood moved through –

The end of a long dueling cane pushed the book down. He glanced up to see Rey giving him a mischievous grin. "Care to duel?" she asked, holding out a second wooden stave.

"Don't you have another hour of training?" Ben searched around the facility, the ragged appearance of Skywalker eluding him.

In fact, they were completely alone.

"I'm done, and I was thinking with the little time before lunch, we could spar for a while." She poked him in the shoulder, reflexively making him grab onto the weapon. Rey grinned wider as he gave in, placing the book on the floor as he rose.

She motioned to the reading material. "You know you could read something else that doesn't have to do with anatomy, right?" They walked sided by side, heading over to the cushioned mats. "The chip is no longer in your arm."

Putting some distance between them, he shrugged as he said, "I enjoy reading on the subject."

As the dueling commenced, Ren stayed primarily on the defensive out of choice. He wanted to assess how Rey's fighting style had evolved since they last sparred, and he had to admit, she was leaps and bounds better. "Have you ever thought of what you'll do after this war is over?" Rey asked, panting lightly.

He shifted to the side, dodging her downward swing. "What do you mean?"

Their canes locked together, inches from his face. "Like whether or not you'd want to go to school and become a physician."

Ren laughed at the joke as he pivoted away and blocked Rey's strike at his knees. "Oh, I'm positively certain no one would ever want me as their doctor." If they did, they would need to be admitted to a mental institution.

"Maybe if you didn't look at everyone like you want them dead and actually smiled more often, more people would warm up to you." Rey lunged with a forward thrust, but Ren shifted, parried, and reached out to push her off balance. She stumbled, but didn't fully make it to the ground. Straightening, she shrugged and added, "Just a thought."

Looking at her stoic features, he realized she was being serious. "Smiling and being polite won't change what's in my history." Or DNA.

"Well, it's just a suggestion. You can think more about it when this war is no longer in the way."

Ren kept his parries short, tight and close, never letting his swing go wide. "Wouldn't we be making a decision like that together?"

"Maybe," she said offhandedly, backing off while circling him to find an opening.

"Maybe?" Ren echoed, watching her. "You have plans that don't involve me after all this is through?"

"Who knows if I'll survive." Rey darted, going in for a straightforward attack that was more his move than hers. But she quickly changed her trajectory, sliding onto her knees and striking him right across the back as he swung at open air. The pain made him proud of her trickery and flexibility, but was profoundly overshadowed by her statement.

"Survive?" He groaned as he limped away and turned.

Her elation over getting a hit on him flattened at seeing his confusion. "You know… against Snoke," she exhaled, like the answer had been obvious.

Ren resisted the urge to rub the throbbing in his lower back and quickly swiped the hair from his eyes. "Not this again…" he breathed out. "You're not fighting Snoke. Ever. Okay? It's not going to happen and it won't be needed." Catching her by surprise, Ren attacked, swinging his cane against the inside of hers. Advancing, his cane went vertical, wrapping around hers and with a quick jerk, she was disarmed. Ren called her staff into his left grip and faced her, watching as she glared at him.

With labored breathing, she asked, "So we just let him go on living?"

"Yes."

Rey huffed. "Having him out there would be too much of a–"

"And what do you think he would do?" Ren interrupted. "Say the Resistance does win and maybe dissolves what's left of the First Order into the Republic. What are Snoke's remaining options? He'd have no army and only a small amount of people left that are loyal to him. After a few decades, he'll die on his own."

Rey went to retrieve the staff, but Ren stepped back and held it out of reach. "You think a monster like that would just up and let himself die?"

"He wouldn't have much of a choice if he never finds me, now would he?"

"But Kayani–"

"–has her own agenda and probably isn't telling you everything. Has she even provided you with a plan? And telling you she can kill him does not count."

For a moment, Rey frowned. "…No."

"And that is why you should be dubious of her. If she needs you so badly, why leave you in the dark when it comes to important details?"

She shook her head over and over again. "I – I don't know, okay? But… she's never lied to me. And I would prefer this war to be over sooner rather than later so more innocent people don't end up dead. If she's the way I can make that happen, then I'm willing to take the risk."

Ren kept eye contact as he inwardly staggered from her declaration. He knew she cared about the galaxy, but he didn't know it had crossed over into sincere foolishness.

Is there something in the water that makes everyone on base lack self-preservation? "Rey, you will die if you go up against Snoke," he stated factually, his voice harshly even.

"Lets just…" she cleared her throat and got close to him, placing a hand on his chest and looking up into his concerned eyes. "Can we pretend we didn't have this conversation so we don't end up getting mad at each other? Please? I don't want to get in a fight over this."

But he wasn't going to let this go. "I worry when you talk about fighting Snoke, because if you do, I'll lose you. And… I just found you."

She swept a strand of hair from his cheek and then traced the scar from the bridge of his nose to the curve of his neck. "Ben, even if something happens to me, you'll always have me."

Ren thought over her statement before saying, "It's ironic you say that when you struggle over the prospect of me leaving you."

Rey blinked. "This is different."

"How so?"

"You decided to leave me."

Ren's forehead creased. "And you aren't choosing to leave me? Death is the most final goodbye one could get."

She poked his chest. "You died and I brought you back."

He gave her a flat stare. "I have a feeling that that was a one time thing. All power has its limits. Mine, and even yours. Do you have a death wish?"

"No. Of course not."

"Then you shouldn't speak so flippantly about your mortality."

Rey took a deep breath. "Everyone's life eventually ends, Ben. I got used to waking up every morning on Jakku, thinking that day might just be my last. I've seen how… fragile living could be. I won't shy away from what I know must be done."

Gazing at her, he was reminded that even though she was ten years his junior, in many ways, she was decades older. And braver. "Sometimes…" Ren whispered timidly. "Sometimes I think of what might be ahead and I become… afraid," he admitted, letting the dueling canes fall to the mats so he could take her hand into his. "And I don't understand how you aren't?"

"You think I'm not scared? I'm terrified. But all my life I've felt like my purpose has been so much larger than just merely existing. So to finally see that, to realize it, it's calming... in a way." She gave his hands a squeeze. "And when you say you're afraid of what lies ahead, I don't think it's the future that necessarily makes you scared; it's repeating the past that makes you anxious. But Ben, you won't, because I won't let you." She paused as she coyly smiled. "And you know you always let me get my way."

Some of the tension melted away as Rey teased, and he allowed himself to smile back at her. There was still plenty of time to try and make her see the error of her thoughts, and with how well their relationship seemed to be going, he didn't feel up to getting in an argument with her right now – especially over beliefs and opinions.

"I should stop spoiling you so much," he lightly joked, trying to catch a ride on the moment. "You'll start developing my superiority complex."

She went on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss that lasted oh-so-deliciously long. "If I do, it'll only be with you."

Burrowing into his chest, Ren wrapped his arms around her, holding and memorizing the feel of her against him. He wasn't going to lose her and she was crazy to think that he would ever let her go up against Snoke. He'll give her some time to see reason, but if she didn't, he was fully prepared to lock her in a room for the rest of her life. Better alternative than her dying.

Getting back to the realm of reality, they went about putting away the dueling equipment and went back for his book. Rey snatched it off the floor before Ren could grab it.

"I can drop this by the room," Rey suggested. "I still have time before I have to go see the general. I think I'll move my stuff now while I have the chance."

"Need help?"

"Nah. Go get some food and then we can meet back here after lunch." Walking out of the facility, she pulled him in for a swift peck on the lips, not caring about prying eyes. Saying their goodbyes, they parted.

"By the way," Ren called out to her from down the hall, making her turn around. "I won that duel." He smiled before continuing to walk, feeling Rey's competitive glare on his back.

()()()()()

Rey entered Ben's room – well, now their room – and placed her small bag of belongings on the bed. Some clothes, extra pair of boots, snacks, and personal hygiene products were all that was in there, reminding her that she didn't have much to her name. She wondered how much money Ben received from his inheritance and if he would be willing to lend her some. Of course, she would make some sort of contract to pay it all back. She wasn't a – what's the word? Moocher? Gold-digger? Beggar? Well whatever the term was, she wanted to strive to have some sense of integrity. Hopefully Ben viewed it that way as well.

Deciding to start with the refresher, she went through the cabinet and drawers and saw that everything was so perfectly in place that she was afraid to even touch Ben's belongings. So she opted to use an unoccupied drawer and dumped all the loose possessions. She would have to warn him against peeking inside unless he wanted to have a fit over the disorganized chaos. And to be honest, Rey was never going to take the time to arrange it all. It would just get all cluttered again anyway.

Rifling through her clothes, she hung the ones that mattered on the side where she kept her staffs, and shoved the ones that didn't into a drawer that already housed her journal, doll, and her new stash of food. Opening the ones below, she saw that Ben's clothes were only taking up two out of the six drawers, giving her more than enough options to choose from. As she carefully opened the top one, she found a good amount of his black, tight boxer briefs and couldn't stop her hands from taking one out. As she unfolded it – which was ridiculous, really, because who folds undergarments? – Rey held them up and gave them a good stare.

It was nothing remarkable, but Ben wore these and being able to sneakily hold it made her feel lively for some unknown reason. Maybe it was because she was kind of violating his privacy, but part of her was pretty sure he wouldn't care… as long as she put everything back exactly how she found it.

Studying the other folded garments, she was able to fold the free one in the exact same way and quietly place it back with the others. She didn't know why she was being so hush-hush about it all. It wasn't like Ben could hear what she was doing.

As the drawer closed, she eyed his still packed duffle on the floor between the closet and dresser. Glaring at the inanimate piece of leather, she bent down and unzipped, opening it wide. One by one, she fished out the articles of clothes and put them away while adhering to Ben's standard of neatness. Nearing the bottom, her hand came in contact with something hard… A datapad? She wondered who he stole it from, because he wasn't allowed to be in possession of such tech.

Why would he even need one?

A part of her mind started to conjure up thoughts of betrayal – that maybe Ben was in contact with the First Order. Why else would he not tell her about the datapad? Turning it on, she sat on the bed and rifled through the various files. Nothing stuck out to her, and from the numerous mechanical texts and manuals in storage, Ben must have stolen it from a person who worked in engineering.

Great. Now I'll have to find whomever this belongs to and return it–

Rey's fingers hovered above the most recently opened file, sensing that it was somehow important. She tapped on the screen… and played the video.

…

…She recognized the woman... her mother... from her vision.

…

She made it as far as witnessing her mother and potential father being murdered. And how Major Ematt did little to stop it. Even though the man had been far younger in the video, she recognized his face immediately.

Teetering, the pad fell from her hands. She didn't hear it hit the ground as a great wave of nausea overtook her. Scrambling to the refresher, Rey fell to her knees, clutching the toilet seat with trembling hands, and violently and noisily vomited.

Dead.

Her parents were truly, irreversibly dead. All those times she wished that they were no longer alive came back to haunt her, for now she wanted to take it all back. In this hollowed out moment, she would rather have them be alive, even if it meant they abandoned her. Then she would maybe have the chance to find them, to show them how she was on the path of becoming a Jedi. Maybe they would be proud of her. Maybe they would accept her back into the family….

She retched again, her body rebelling against the ghastly proof that her parents no longer existed, and wrung her out till she had nothing left inside to give.

The gasping and shaking, the widened eyes, the agony that twisted her gut into slag… everything became so crystal-clear that her eyes, ears, skin, every nerve ending that resided in her lean body ached like she was suffering from a fever. The pain transcended human comprehension, and the memory of such torment would no doubt stain her brain forever.

Memories came to her, but in the shape of feelings rather than pictures.

Every day on Jakku had revolved around repetition and discipline. Without it, she would've starved. She never truly realized how lonely she was until the end of each day when she had a bunch of things to talk about… and no one to tell them to. Rey had grown accustomed to the starvation, the injuries, the thirst, the fights and sneers from others. But the one thing she couldn't shake was that being alone didn't just give way to loneliness, but made her live with the feeling that no one cared.

No one.

And she lived that way for fifteen years.

Because of the Republic.

Because of Ematt.

And Ben had kept this from her. Lies again. It was all lies. Rey fortified her mental barrier, hoping that Ben didn't feel what she was going through. She didn't want him to come looking for her.

Her sobs receded, her trembling becoming nothing more than little twitches as she silently sat on the refresher floor, thinking over her options. It was as if her soul had been flushed from her body, everything that had animated her and connected her to this existence now gone.

Left in its wake was a rage filled vengeance that gave her a calming clarity and a decisive mind – a kind of focus she'd never experienced before, but found to be inviting.

And powerful.

()()()()()

A scorching fire suddenly erupted through Ren's chest, halting his breath and making him list off to the side of the hall. Stopping, he clutched his sternum as if his palm could cool the blaze, but it did nothing to alleviate the pain. Such disparaging anguish and anger, the likes in which he hadn't felt in a long while. What's happening? But just as fast as the feelings arrival, it vanished, leaving him cold and confused.

"Are you okay?" Ren pivoted around to see a questioning Harter, now in her usual military garb. "You stopped so sudden–"

"I'm fine," he interrupted, still trying to hone in on the wave of despair he was so sure he'd felt. Where did it go?

"Okay. Well… if you or Rey need anything, you know where to find me."

He nodded. Kalonia gave him a soft smile and continued on her way.

"Harter?" Ren said in a much softer tone. She stopped and glanced back at him before turning all the way around. Putting the unusual feelings aside for a moment, he decided he should make good use out of the doctors sudden company.

Ren wasn't confidant in what he was about to ask, but after talking with Rey earlier, he found his mind starting to be bombarded with a hope that he knew was futile. And he needed someone else to objectively agree with him. "I– I was wondering something… and it sounds ridiculous, I know, but I don't know… I just want to see if… Maybe it's not possible, after everything–"

"Are you trying to ask me something?" she asked, raising a brow.

"Uhhhhh, yes," he said, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling embarrassed with how much he was stumbling over his words. "Say this war does find a conclusion and somehow the Resistance pulls off the impossible… Do you – do you think there would be any possibility, even if it is small, that I could maybe… go back to school? I know it's ridiculous–"

As Harter's stare deepened, her face took on a picture of conviction. "I don't think it's ridiculous. You had big dreams while growing up and I'd be shocked if you didn't keep holding onto them."

Ren frowned. "Soooo… is that all it will ever be? A dream?" It was a small dream, but it was a dream, nonetheless.

Harter opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. "I know you've always detested lying or anything less than being candid, so I'm going to be honest: It would be close to impossible for you to be accepted into any program, let alone a university just for the sake of taking some classes," she whispered, making sure the passerby's couldn't eavesdrop. "When applying, you'd have to use your legal name and the galaxy now knows who you are."

Read: his name was now a representation of all the evil in the galaxy and he would always be viewed as a monster.

The worst part? He totally understood the reasoning.

"In my opinion," Harter continued, "I think they'd be doing the galaxy a disservice by denying you the education you want." Ren glanced at the throng of people going about their business, while not really knowing the gracious method in which to receive sympathy. "You would've been a great doctor, and I don't just mean that because you're incredibly talented and smart. You're heart always seemed to be in it when you were younger."

"I've never been one to show compassion," he pointed out.

"Ah. I think you're looking at that term rather rigidly. It's not a relationship based on pity or salvation, but one between equals. I think you're more than qualified to empathize with others – more so now than when you were younger."

Ren gave her a confused stare. "That… doesn't make much sense."

"But I think it does. You know your own darkness so well that you can be present during the darkness of others. People don't need compassion when everything is going right; they need it when they hit bottom."

Ren… never viewed it that way. And he slowly realized she had a very good line of reasoning.

"Do you mind if I ask how you're doing emotionally?"

Ren reflexively recoiled from the word. "Emotionally?" As his scarred face grew unbearably tight and his arms crossed over his chest, Harter openly studied his response, but didn't change the topic.

"Guilt can ruin even the strongest of wills," she stated. At this point, Ren was tempted to walk away. Unlike the psych eval, he was talking with the doctor out of his own free will.

"You know," Harter persisted. "I think the worst kind of punishment is never actually receiving one, but having to live with yourself when you know you truly deserve retribution. In a way, you have to figure out how to enact justice upon yourself."

Ren dropped his eyes, casting them upon his boots. He could feel himself on the verge of becoming emotional, which was so unlike him. Something was amplifying those feelings and he couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was.

"Can I tell you something I haven't told anyone else?" she asked.

He nodded, lifting his gaze.

"In my will, I left you everything that remains of my practice." She laughed lightly before adding, "Which isn't much at this point, but it's something."

Ren didn't hide his shock. "You did?"

Eyes growing sober, she said, "With my family gone and with how much time you spent with me while growing up, it seemed like that was the way it should be. Even if I knew you'd never take it."

For a moment, Ren became utterly dumbfounded. So much so, that his voice shuddered from trying to compose himself. "I guess I can see why you added that in when I was young–"

"I put it in four years ago."

Her words cut through his consciousness like a knife. Or maybe it was more from something that caused blunt force trauma, because the air forcibly left his lungs. He opened his mouth, not sure as to what words would come tumbling out.

But then he abruptly stiffened as he sensed… something familiar.

Later, he would wonder what exactly made him turn around, leaving a perplexed Harter behind as he ran through the halls that lead exactly to his room. Not a sound, no. Or a flash of movement. Or anything of outward significance. It was a rash of darkness permeating through the air, the kind that consumed and killed without reluctance, the kind that was within him, but wasn't being caused by him.

The feeling started off so small and irrelevant, but as he bulldozed into his quarters, the place reeked of evil undertones that suffocated even him. Something had happened here, like an action or a thought. Reaching out to Rey, he was met by a solid fortress, one that would take a high amount of concentrated power to get through. Locating her would be extremely tricky with how well she was blocking him, so he would have–

His eyes locked on his nearly empty duffel. Walking and leaning down, he grabbed the bag and eyed the inside. Rey must have started to unpack his belongings, probably because seeing it full brought up the feeling that he might bolt at a moments notice. Which wasn't going to–

The datapad.

The luggage slid from his hold and hit the floor as he stared wide-eyed at the wall. His skin prickled and his heart pounded so deep that it basically took up residence inside his skull, causing him to panic. Wheeling around, he ghosted out of the room at a sprint that made him feel like he was flying. There was no time to yell for people to move out of the way or to apologize for hauling right over them – like he would, though – or to second guess where he was headed.

Ren knew where Rey would be at this exact moment. She was out for revenge, and at this time of day, she would find it at Major Ematt's new office.

()()()()()

Poe sat in the mess hall, languidly pushing what was left of his food around with his fork. Everyone around him – Snap, Joph, Nien, Finn – were having their own conversations, sometimes getting boisterous to the point of a migraine. Poe chimed in every once in a while, but mostly kept to himself. Usually, he was the life of the party, and he knew the others noticed how he'd been acting off lately. Gratefully, no one sought out an explanation. The only person who knew all the details was Finn, because as it turned out, Poe had needed to talk everything over with another human being.

Finn nudged him. "You okay, man?"

"Uh-huh," Poe replied, keeping his eyes on the food mashing below.

Finn elbowed him harder. "Jess just came in." Poe didn't even glance at the entrance, because this was honestly nothing new. They all ate in the same area and he was starting to feel pathetic every time Jess walked in a room and his eyes watched her intently. Too intently. Way too intently to where he was feeling like he'd been given a personality transplant. He never watched a woman in such an obsessive manner. But Jess wasn't just any woman. She just so happened to be one of his most trusted–

Finn all but pushed him off the bench with how hard he jolted him. "Man, she's looking at you," he whispered harshly. To that, Poe craned his head up, looked past an animated Joph and met her stare head on. She wasn't getting food, wasn't glancing around, wasn't paying attention to anyone else: she was staring right at him, still at the entrance, unmoving.

Poe didn't know what the stare down meant, but was given a clue when she nodded for him to come over. "Why is she–"

This time, Finn did push him off the bench, forcing him to scramble onto his feet and straighten his jacket. "Just go already. Don't ask questions," Finn ordered.

"Right," Poe breathed out, slicking back his hair. Winding through the tables, Jess didn't attempt to dart away from his approach, which was a relief.

"Hey," he said as he stopped before her.

She shifted her weight between legs, looking nervous. "Hey." Awkward silence ensued, making them both glance around. Poe cleared his throat, even though he didn't know what to say.

"I was wanting to talk to you," Jess finally cut in.

"Should we find somewhere more private?" Poe suggested, motioning for them to leave the mess hall. Soldiers were still trickling in and just because they were off to the side, didn't mean they wouldn't be overheard.

"It won't take long." Poe's heart fell. Guess hoping to get in a good conversation with her was asking too much. Jess crossed her arms as she said, "You've probably heard that I asked for a transfer."

"That's a mistake," Poe said with authority, taking a step forward.

Jess nodded. "I agree and that's why I withdrew the request."

Okay… he wasn't expecting her to admit to her rashness. "What? Really?"

Jess laughed, which eased the tension from her tight shoulders. "We've worked together for far too long and have been through so many missions together, that we've built a trust I've grown comfortable with. So I want to stay… if that's okay."

"Are you kidding? I never wanted you to leave! I feel the same way about the whole trust thing as you do."

"Good. That's… good," she said, grinning.

Poe hated being a pessimist, but he had to wonder whether the reconciliation was permanent or not. "You still going to ignore me forever? Because that might be a problem if we're to work together."

Jess rolled her eyes. "No, I'm not going to ignore you and I had no intention of keeping it up forever." Idly, she shuffled her foot back and forth, glancing down. "I just… needed some space to think. Honestly, I was quite humiliated with how I acted in front of you… and what I said."

As much as he wanted to talk about that, he decided for her sake he wouldn't bring it up. For now. "I get it, but I never judged you for it."

"Thanks," she whispered. "I appreciate that."

"I understand why you couldn't help but fall for this." Well, maybe just a little teasing wouldn't hurt.

"Always the charmer, aren't you?" Jess dryly stated.

Poe whipped out his usual dashing grin, feeling like this exchange hearkened back to the old days. "Can't stop my nature."

Jess chuckled and then the moment fell into a long pause with her looking away and him looking at her. With his acute pilot eyes, Poe could see an eyelash on the arch of her cheek, threatening to leap into her eye and become a nuisance. He raised his hand, but stopped. Curling his palm into a fist, he lowered it back down, knowing that swiping at her cheek would be misinterpreted. Given her feelings, the gesture would be cruel.

But man, he really wanted to get that eyelash off her face… or did he really just want to touch her?

"Look," he said, getting serious. "I'm sorry for never noticing how you–"

"Let's just forget about that, alright? I want to go back to how things were before this whole mess."

Poe nodded casually, while searching for a change in subject. "You, uh, run into Kylo Ren lately?"

Really? You try to change the topic and you bring him up?

Luckily Jess didn't seem to be offended by the question. "No. Have you?"

"Here and there. I was thinking… if you ever wanted to talk to him about–"

Alarms blasted throughout the large eating area, red lights flashing a threatening warning. Poe and Jess sprung into action, immediately sprinting to the hangar that housed their X-wings. Everyone was running for their readying positions, all of them thinking that the First Order had finally found the base. But once Jess and Poe made it to their destination, they froze, glancing around the decimated area in awe and shock.

Ships were on their sides and crushed against the walls as sparks showered down onto the concrete. Dozens of soldiers littered the floor, moaning from their injuries. A destructive force had come through the hangar, like a freak tornado had somehow formed inside and wreaked a colossal amount of damage.

Off to his left, Poe saw Skywalker enter from another entrance, surveying the scene with calculating eyes. In one sharp motion, the man wheeled around and exited back from where he came with a youthful sprint that was impressive for his age. Poe followed, catching glimpses of the Jedi Master's robes as he rounded corner after corner.

Why is he going this way? It leads right to–

Poe skidded to a halt in front of Major Ematt's office, not knowing how to process what he was looking at. Ren was out cold on the floor, pale and shallowly breathing. With eyes closed, Skywalker had his hands placed on his nephew's temples, probably doing something with the Force to try and help him to wake. But Poe didn't keep his focus on those two for long.

Bodies were splayed unconscious across the floor, all of them thankfully breathing as Poe made a quick check. Stumbling upon Major Ematt's critically looking form, he knelt and searched for a pulse on the man's unnaturally twisted neck. Miraculously, he found one below the swollen bruising.

Poe called for aid on his comlink, and then just sat by the man, because he was powerless to do anything else. Moving or touching Ematt could very well worsen his already grave condition.

"What happened here?" Poe breathed out, glancing over at Skywalker. The Jedi's jaw was hard set, his eyes searing into Ren like he was trying to see something beyond simple appearances.

"I'm not sure," Luke replied, meeting Poe's worried stare. "But I can't wake Ben. And–" A med team and a very winded Finn arrived, cutting Skywalker off.

"Rey is gone," Finn blurted out as Poe stood to make room for the medical personnel.

"What do you mean she's gone?"

"I mean she was the one who blew up the hangar, stole a ship, and then left!" Finn announced, exasperated.

Poe's heart pounded so hard, he started to get a headache from the pressure. He pulled at his hair as he yelled, "What the hell is going on?!" The question was aimed not too kindly at the Jedi Master, because who else would know? By the way Skywalker's expression turned stoic, Poe could tell the man had more answers than he was currently divulging.

And for once in his demented life, Ren was currently taking a nap and useless, so interrogating him was on hold.

Fucking perfect.

A/N

Ahhhhhhh! So now you all know why this as all so Reylo centric... because Rey and Ben aren't going to see each other for a bit. Sorry! If you have time, let me know what you think! I hope the sexual stuff wasn't too uncomfortable to read. Honestly, I have read way more explicit stuff. But to each their own. Any thoughts on what happened between Ematt, Rey, and Ren? Don't worry, there will be flashbacks next chapter.

Thank you all for reading and for leaving reviews! All your encouragement help me to keep going! As always, may the Force be with you!