The Space Between Stars

by VinVenture12

Kylo Ren has been humiliated by the scavenger and is now hunting her for retribution. He delves deeper into the depths of darkness along his journey, while Rey soars closer to the light. Strangers on opposite sides of a war, but bound together through their destinies. Both will do whatever it takes to survive, but who will come out victorious? Slow Reylo. Post TFA, Later M rating

33. Chapter 33

Thanks for the follows, faves and reviews! Please know I appreciate all of it!

NightElfCrawler: Can I just say how I love you for frequently reviewing the story? I think you understand how important reviews are to writers since you are one, and I appreciate it so much. Just wanted to tell you that. lol Ben and Leia are slowly getting there. It is a big improvement that he was at least honest with her. Ren and Finn together is going to be a lot of fun to write. Things don't go smoothly in the beginning and you'll see why. But these two are long overdue to have an adventure together. Natalie-S-246: Rey talking to Kylo like that was hard to write, because anything that has to do with Rey being darker just doesn't sit well with me. But you'll see it doesn't sit well with her either. But in that conversation, I wanted Kylo and Rey to be in reverse of one another: her more dark, him more light. Thanks for wanting this to be canon! But I'm sure what LucasFilm has in store for the next two episodes will be amazing. At least I pray! Kimmycocopop: I wanted to bring in similarities to what Ben's family did to him and how he lied to Rey about her parents. He will definitely start to see things from the perspective of his parents more as the story moves forward. For me, you start to understand your parents more when your mistakes mirror their own. That can be said for anyone, actually. SheLitAFire: Thank you as well for all your reviews! They help me so much, you have no idea. lol. So I originally intended for this chapter to be posted a lot sooner, but then during editing I decided to write three more scenes into it. They were planned for later, but this chapter had the room. Then I had to go back to find something in the story, which forced me to find all the little mistakes I made and I got caught up in editing. See everyone? This is what happens if I go back and start editing previous chapters. I start putting out chapters later and later. And this isn't the first time this has happened either. Ahhhhhh! I just need more self control and focus. But I just ask if you re-read the story, please try to look past the plethora of mistakes. When I'm finished I am going to go back to fix grammatical errors and rewrite a lot of it so it isn't as bad. Anyway, end of rant.

There are some more flashbacks in this chapter, but they aren't as long as the previous one. Not much else to say. So enjoy the read!

Chapter Thirty-three

Finn sat in one of the small living quarters aboard the Millennium Falcon, rubbing his palms up and down his thighs. Nerves rattled, he tried not to think too much on what this exact mission would entail, but his mind broke down the weak roadblocks. It was going to take a lot of discipline to work with Kylo Ren. Hopefully during the duration of this mission, Finn's nightmares didn't come back. Last thing he needed was to feel more uneasy around the man.

But then Finn glanced at his bag on the floor, remembering what he was harboring in there.

Man, if Ren ever found out Skywalker–

"Finn?" A familiar voice called from somewhere in the ship.

"In here!"

Footsteps came closer and the door opened to reveal Poe, one of the only people Finn would put his complete trust in. The pilot had both hands behind his back, hiding something from Finn's view.

"Nervous?" Poe asked.

"Me? Nervous?" Finn's eyes darted between the corners of the room. "About being stuck on a ship with a person known as the Jedi Killer? Nah. I'm totally good. Really looking forward to all the quaint conversations I'll be having with the guy," Finn rambled, and then gulped.

Poe eyed the way Finn kept rubbing his legs. "I see you've crossed over into sarcasm. Either you're in denial as to how dangerous this is for you, or you have anxiety."

"What do you think?"

"Anxiety." Poe shrugged. "You're too honest to lie – even to yourself."

Finn smiled, letting out a stiff chuckle as he clasped his hands together. "You know me so well."

"Well, I did name you. That basically makes me your surrogate father. And parents do know best." Finn laughed more freely, feeling some of the tension leave his straining neck. But he couldn't keep up the light atmosphere as both men fell into silence, the gravity of the situation weighing into them. "But seriously, you're gonna be fine, Finn."

Finn wiped at his eyebrow before saying, "You sure about that? That guy has it out for me. I don't know if any of you can see that, but he does. I don't even understand why he hates me so much."

"Why did you agree to come then?" Poe asked, walking a little further into the tight room and leaning against the small sink to the left of the door. His hands still remained hidden.

Finn stood, shaking his head as he spoke passionately. "It's Rey, Poe. It never crossed my mind to say no and it still doesn't. I'm not backing out of this. She needs help and I'm not going to abandon her."

"You don't see her differently after what she did?" Poe's tone was more inquisitive than judgmental, which Finn appreciated.

"Of course not! She just…" He inhaled deep and long. "I know she tried to kill Ematt, but what she discovered about her parents was beyond horrendous. And it didn't help that Kylo lied to her."

Poe's brows pulled slightly together. "You would've told her the truth?"

"Yes," he quickly replied. "I don't believe in treating her like a child. This whole thing could've been handled way better." Poe didn't add anything. "You don't agree?"

Poe bit the corner of his lip, looking contemplative. "Some decisions are hard to make. But if I were you, I wouldn't bring up to Ren that he made the wrong one."

"Yes, well… I do wish to stay alive."

"I wish that, too." Poe straightened. "And before you go, I brought you a parting gift of sorts." He revealed a wadded up piece of brown and red leather, and as he unwound it, Finn's mouth went agape. Truly, he was at a loss for words. "It's taken a lot longer for it to get repaired, because I wanted it to look really good."

Poe held it out for him to take, the pilot parting with it happily. Finn inspected the worn material and flipped it around to see a red strip of leather covering the evidence of it being sliced open by a lightsaber. The red hue even matched with the other patches on the jacket, making it seem like a purposeful feature.

"Whoa," was all Finn could whisper.

"Do you like it?" Poe rubbed the back of his neck. "I know it might bring back some bad memories, but it holds good ones, too. I, uh, didn't want to give up on it. It's basically the first article of clothing you've ever picked out for yourself."

Sliding his arms into the sleeves, Finn adjusted the collar and pulled the jacket straight. It felt the same as he remembered: safe and welcoming. "No, I, uh… I like it, man. It's perfect. Thanks."

Poe nodded, his smile showing his satisfaction, but then fading. "Look," he said, his voice getting serious, "when it comes to Ren, don't take any of his shit, okay? I know you're nervous about him killing you, but just remember: if he does, he wouldn't have a chance in hell with getting back with Rey. Bring her up if you get in a tight spot. Sometimes the guy needs a reminder. But I want you to know if it gets to a point where you think he's going to off you, you kill him first."

Finn shifted his weight between legs, looking confused. "I thought you were his friend?"

"In a way," Poe responded, sounding somewhat flummoxed. "But you're more important to me." He suddenly chuckled while shaking his head. "Funny– I just thought about how if it wasn't for Ren, you and I would've never met."

"That monster truly is at the center of everything."

"Sounds like a miserable life to lead," Poe said gently, glancing out into the hallway. "Oh," he suddenly exclaimed, unhooking the satchel at his belt and handing it over. Finn cracked it open to see credits, more than he's ever held in his poor trooper hands. He looked up at Poe questioningly. "No reason to be without while on this mission," his friend explained. "And… you might not be coming back here for a while. I want you to be comfortable."

"Where did you get this much credits?"

"Won a bet," Poe stated with his usual pride.

"Did this bet have anything to do with Rey and Kylo?"

"Of course. That's how I've been making the majority of my money lately."

Finn shook the credits around, trying to gage how much was in there. "What was the wager?"

Poe cleared his throat. "Who would end or ruin the relationship first. Everyone put bets on Ren, but I decided to take the gamble and say Rey." He lowered his voice. "Her, uh, actions in the recording cemented my win."

Finn blinked. And had to take a moment to make sure he'd heard that right. "But barely anyone has seen that recording."

"Some of the higher ups have a tendency to gossip. Word travels fast. Anyway, I... it felt weird to keep all that money knowing the context behind it. So I want you to take it and put it to good use."

Finn clasped it shut, holding it in his left hand as he nodded and said, "Thanks."

"Make sure to check in every once in a while so I know how you're doing," Poe lectured parentally. "And… be careful."

"I will."

Poe came forward and wrapped his arms around him. There was no back pats, no awkward chuckling or smiles. This embrace was tight and reassuring, making Finn feel like he truly mattered to at least one person… and that maybe in the end, everything would be okay.

The two men pulled back, nodding at one another. Poe clapped him on the shoulder… and then he was gone, leaving Finn to his own personal mountain of stress.

"Good luck with finding Rey," he suddenly heard Poe say out in the narrow hall. Finn moved to the opened doorway, staying off to the side so he wasn't seen. "Remember to keep your head down when being shot at. Knowing you, you'll probably run into some trouble."

Even though the response was quiet, Finn could tell Ren was giving some sort of reply. The man's deep voice was very discerning.

"Oh, and if you kill Finn, I'll fucking murder you." To that, there was no retort, but then he heard Poe add on, "Safe travels!"

Finn couldn't contain his smile. But from here on out, he didn't have anyone to lean on or team up with. That thought did the job of sobering up his expression real quick.

Man, he was going to miss his friend... just like he missed Rey.

()()()()()

Skulking through the dark, Rey neared the trading tent at Niima Outpost. One or two random scavengers still remained at the nearby cleaning stations, but other than that, all other tents were closed up for the night, the occupants no doubt counting their credits and getting ready for bed.

Setting her sights on Unkar's private living arrangement – a broken down Starlight-class light freighter in the shape of a flying wing – Rey sized up the two thugs that lingered outside the entrance. Per usual, their faces were covered in cloth, giving the brutes an air of anonymity. Plutt's employees never showed their true identities, and if they ever did, well… the Blobfish didn't employ them anymore. Jakku was an inhospitable desert graveyard; not just for ships, but for corpses as well.

As tempting as it was to beat the guards senseless, Rey knew she had to remain as incognito as possible. The First Order still wanted her dead, and every single person here would inform on her whereabouts if it meant they got paid. No, the best thing to do was to leave zero evidence that she was ever here. But if Unkar suddenly died from an unknown cause, she was sure the crime wouldn't be traced back to her.

Quickly and quietly striding up to the guards, Rey simultaneously compelled both to wonder the Outpost and to forget they ever saw her. Too easy, she thought as she watched them dazedly walk away, leaving the entrance completely open.

She'd never been inside Unkar's home, but it was just as dirty and cluttered as she always imagined. So many ship parts lined the hallways that even she – lithe of figure and quick of action– had a difficult time navigating through it all. How did the Blobfish do it?

Feeling out for his vile essence, Rey immediately zeroed in on the target. But truth be told, she could've just followed the foul smelling stench she'd come to associate as Unkar's. Stars, it was so concentrated, that it stung not just her nostrils, but her eyes as well. Wiping at her face and keeping the vomit down, she settled on breathing through her mouth, tasting the revolting aroma on her tongue instead.

Coming upon his room, Rey willed the door open and stepped inside. Unkar looked up from the poorly built desk, all his attention now diverted from counting the credits stacked before him. He was still as sweaty and disgusting as she remembered.

Rey gave him a chilling grin. "Blobfish," she greeted.

Unkar went for the blaster pistol, but it flew into Rey's hand first. She looked it over with disinterest before tossing it aside. Sitting, because even with his life at stake Plutt was still that lazy, he looked her up and down, his eyes showing a hint of fear. Never once had he ever gazed at her with a modicum of distress. She quite liked it.

"How did you–"

Rey shot out her hand, constricting Unkar's throat from across the room. Rising from the chair, he hung in the air, the choking confinement doing its job of instilling terror deep within his inky heart. The gurgling and struggle gave Rey satisfaction, because now he realized she wasn't the scavenger he once knew – she was now a formidable threat.

"Confused?" Rey asked, cocking her head. "Well, let me just make the situation clear. Tell me everything you know about my parents."

"W–what?" he choked out. Rank, fetid fear poured out of him, making his body odor infinitely worse and burning Rey's brain cells. Tears unwillingly stung her eyes, but not due to the stench. Even with her plan firmly in place, something deep inside was fighting against her actions. Probably her conscience. But she refused to let the waterworks win – especially for a Crolute as repugnant as Unkar.

Rey had to be hard and ruthless if she were to get anywhere in this galaxy. Being soft, compassionate, and understanding had only brought her grief and heartache. She didn't want to be that person anymore.

How did Ben do it? The ease in which he could turn off his morals was a talent Rey needed to master quickly.

"I know you know who they are," Rey said, moving closer to the Crolute. "Now you're gonna tell me. Or would you like to get a matching mechanical arm?"

She eased enough of the hold on his throat so he could somewhat spittle out words. "Th-they were galactic traders… from Dandoran." The breath that hit Rey's face was warm and smelt like a dead animal that had spent days in the baking sun. "Maridia and her family… owned the biggest trading post… on that planet."

"So you do business with the family," Rey stated, her voice becoming hopeful.

Unkar nodded his head, his hands that held his neck getting lost in the slimy folds. "Yes… I did."

"Did?" Most of the pressure alleviated, allowing Unkar to cough and take a few deep breaths.

A dribble of spit slid down his chin. "The family sold it a few years after… you were left here."

Rage trickled into her from somewhere dark and forbidden. "So you've known how to contact my family, but you never told them I was here," she said, her voice becoming unsteady.

Unkar swallowed. "Maridia told me not to tell anyone of your whereabouts. Not even her family. She said something about them being watched."

"Watched by who?"

"I– I don't know. I swear," he said quickly. "She sent me a holomessage saying her and Jacen were in Jakku's star system and they needed to drop you somewhere for a while. She sounded desperate… and she offered me a lot of credits to keep you hidden."

All that fury started to feel a lot like magma pumping fire through Rey's veins, her mind being schooled by the flame so she could embrace the heat. "Even after a few years passed, you never even attempted to tell my family I was alive?"

His eyes darted nervously. "I– I thought about it, but…"

"But I became a valuable asset," she finished for him, the words tasting bitter on her tongue.

…"Yes."

Finally, what was left of her control was rerouted to an inviting need for retribution. "You let me live on this planet for fifteen years… because I made you money." Unkar gulped, his shaking becoming increasingly worse. "You and this planet took everything from me. I think it's only fair I take something in return." Her palms slapped onto the sides of his head, making the Crolute cry out as she pummeled her way through his sanity, pushing and twisting in an attempt to reduce him to alien rubble.

But then a memory shimmered, catching her attention. Unkar was sitting in this same room, the arrangement of the furniture and ship parts slightly different than the present. Rey couldn't gage how old the memory was, but it tugged at her, making her feel like it was important in some way.

She fell into the recollection further.

A holo-image of a wealthy older man dressed in intricate robes and gold jewelry emerged from the holo-link on Unkar's desk.

"I'm cancelling the deal," the Crolute grumbled. "The girl stays here."

The older man's face tightened. "You and I have done business for how long now? Thirty years? And you're changing the arrangement without even a warning?"

Unkar waved his hand impassively through the air. "I make more money off of her over a span of a few months than I do with you over a year."

"You could have told me this before I left," the man nearly yelled. "My ship is orbiting Jakku as we speak."

The Blobfish shrugged his chunky shoulders. "I just changed my mind."

"You've proven to be too unreliable in your business dealings. This is it, Unkar. I'm cutting ties with you." The translucent image blinked and then vanished.

Plutt gurgled out a long breath as he looked to the doorway at Constable Zuvio. The alien was wearing his usual turquoise armor, his bowled helmet doing nothing to hide his pink, wrinkled skin and hideous yellow eyes. "Tell the men not to bring the girl in," Unkar commanded.

"They've already left to snatch her," Zuvio replied in a harsh gravelly voice.

"What?" Plutt yelled, banging his fists down and standing abruptly. "They weren't supposed to get her till the afternoon! Tell them to turn around and head back here."

Zuvio whipped out a comlink and voiced for the crew to return. No response came.

Unkar huffed and started to waddle over to Zuvio. "If that girl killed them, I swear–"

Rey ripped out of the Blobfish's mind, letting him fall to the floor as he held his head and sobbed, shriveling away from her presence

"You called off the deal," she whispered, shocked. True, Unkar didn't do it out of the goodness of his heart – because there was none – and more out of greed, but still… in the end, he didn't sell her to the slave traders. For years she wondered why he hadn't tried taking her again, but the Blobfish never offered up an explanation.

Rey's eyes darted around the room before settling on the monitors in the corner, the images showing a dark Niima Outpost, the place she'd associated with food, water, and survivability for so long. Whenever she'd gone there, she always kept to herself, passing the various people who circulated the area. All of them were hard and callous and brutal. And how was it she never turned into one of them?

Empathy. Rey's problem had always been empathy. From being oppressed her whole life, she saw her struggles in the way other people lived. Moved. Reacted. She wasn't cut out to live a life like these people… like Ben.

Back on the base, it had been easy to do what she'd done to Ematt because she had lived in the moment, not pausing to think. Glancing at Unkar, she saw his helplessness, the same vulnerability that had been in the major's eyes. Even after all she'd done, nothing had changed inside of her.

I'm still me.

Sickeningly, Rey realized that she couldn't fix the circumstances of her past through breaking someone else. Maybe she'd just have to do it on her own.

Voice going low, but powerful, she demanded Unkar's focus and said, "You will forget I was here and not look into the credits that have gone missing."

The cries subsided as the alien fell into what looked to be a narcotic induced stupor. "I will forget you were here and not look into the credits that have gone missing," he repeated.

She grabbed handfuls of the currency and shoved it all into her satchel before running from the room, not giving Plutt a second glance.

Tearing her way through the cluttered hallways, the paralyzing self-revulsion spread through Rey's body like cold, liquefied steel, weighing her down. With each frantic step, she noticed her heavy trembling feet, her uncoordinated hands, the twitching of her legs and arms. Liquid fire burned her eyes, threatening to leave a trail of burnt flesh down her cheeks, but she fought the impulse. This was all just an allergic reaction to transitioning into a person who answered to no one, and with time, her mind would get used to the inevitable transformation.

She just needed to give it time.

Time.

Yeah… keep telling yourself that, her conscience whispered.

Using the stars as navigation, Rey made it back to the light freighter without having an emotional incident. The long walk had given her enough time to qualm the physical reactions to the unwanted feelings, but her conscience was still questioning, still fighting her on what she wanted.

Before lowering the ramp, Rey scanned the area, sensing no one around. She'd purposefully hid the ship amongst the dunes for extra concealment, knowing no one lived out there. Sand traps plagued the area, but Rey had enough confidence to traverse the terrain since she could feel through her steps when she was about to come upon one.

When Rey was younger, she'd been so proud to cultivate such a skill. Now, compared to everything going on in the galaxy, her expertise when it came to sand didn't seem like anything to be proud of. All it did was remind her of how little she'd known about life. And still did.

Onboard and in the cockpit, she piloted the freighter through a good stretch of sandy hills, her body switching to autopilot while her thoughts kept showing her the same images: Ematt and Unkar. Interesting how the satisfaction of revenge seemed to fade with time, because in the quiet that was now her life, Rey kept thinking of the woman she used to be.

She grew up dirty, battered, and surrounded by the treasures she had scavenged, knowing that others not familiar with her lifestyle would see it all as mere junk – including her. But what she didn't trade she refurbished, giving new life to the broken down and forgotten, talking to the inanimate objects like they were her pets. Even with inorganic material, she showed it the same amount of compassion as she would if she came across someone dying on Pilgrims Road. Besides, Rey couldn't always rely on her make believe friends. Sometimes they would rudely disappear for days on end, leaving her to await their return. So of course she had to find sanctuary in something that was more tangible. Ones mind always needed a backup plan as to how to hold onto a parcel of sanity.

Rey's throat closed as reality marched its way into her brains rhythm.

Bottom line, it was so much easier to address the defects in her appearance or her belongings than it was to dig deep and take a good hard look at her mistakes, her choices… her faults. Like, for example, how her hatred morphed her into a person she no longer admired.

Time wasn't going to give her what she wanted.

Landing the ship right outside what she still labeled as home, she considered the AT-AT for a long moment, wondering if the other scavengers had already pillaged what she left behind. The hours she'd spent tinkering and fixing her treasures would now fall under wasted effort.

Rising, Rey went to the refresher and stripped bare, stepping under the scalding hot rush of the water. Breathing in the dense steam, she tilted her head back, trying to relax into the massaging stream. For some reason, she wanted to look her best when she stepped inside her home, and a shower seemed the perfect way of at least accomplishing that on the outside.

Ematt will never be able to enjoy a warm shower again.

The thought caught her off guard, more so than a blaster strike across the face. One after the other, she thought of all the simple things that man will never be able to do again: see a sunset, drink hot caf, brush his teeth, sleep soundly in a soft bed. Was he married? Did he have children? Did he miss them?

No, he's dead. They're the ones who would miss him.

Rey killed someone's father. Someone's husband.

Shutting off the shower and wrapping herself in a towel, Rey turned and stopped. Looking up from the sink, she scrutinized the reflection in the glass mirror. The light from above shined through the thick mist, hitting her face in a way that made the bags under her eyes and her sunken cheeks stand out against the soft tones of the refresher. The sight was frightening, like she was seeing a ghost.

No, not a ghost.

Turned out demons were real, and they looked like people.

()()()()()

The Falcon soared through the atmosphere, it's engines roaring and propelling the vessel toward the dark matter of space. Ren sat in the pilot seat, guiding the light freighter while trying not to give too much weight as to where he was. Leia hadn't been exaggerating when she told him this ship was among the few currently working – which had forced him to internally agree to take it. Worse, it had taken him five precious minutes to talk himself into getting on the ship. And once that was over, he'd kept his eyes down upon his boots, navigating the notable floor from his childhood memories.

Being on the freighter was tantamount to physical torture. No, it was actually worse. The body could heal, but memories lasted forever.

The trooper made an unwelcome appearance as he went to sit in the co-pilot seat, his eyes straight ahead, taking in the last fading scene of the cerulean sky before it became black. In truth, this was the view Ren loved the most: the obscurities of space, the conundrums of the universe laid out, inviting man to come and search.

He never saw the appeal or understood the obsession others had over flying a spacecraft. And being a person who drank in the feel of adrenaline, it was surprising he lacked that drive since he was so naturally talented at being a pilot. But no, he wasn't like Poe or Rey or his father; didn't really get into being able to soar to great heights or maneuver daring feats. What he did like was where flying took him: into the cosmos. Every time he viewed the stars a tingling ran up his spine, the universe conveying to him that all was made from stardust and that the mysteries he obsessed over were a part him – and with them, the answers.

But where did stardust come from? Where was the beginning?

The trooper cleared his throat, reminding Ren that the time for ogling the expansive wonder wasn't now. "Our previous agreement of tolerating each other still stands," Ren tersely said while working the navicomputer on preparing a route.

The guy listed forward, eyeing Ren questioningly. "You know we have to work together to find Rey, right?"

"No," he said as he initiated the jump into hyperspace, the memories of being taught how to operate the Falcon causing his irritation to steadily rise. I shouldn't be on this ship. "I make the plans and you do as I say."

The trooper scoffed, shifting in the seat so he was fully facing him. "Man, you would rather die than ask for my help, wouldn't you?"

Yes.

Ren rolled his jaw, and glanced over. Immediately, he noticed the guy's new jacket. No, not new. It was the one the trooper had been wearing when Ren almost killed him. Ren was curious how it was fixed, but he didn't care enough to ask. "I don't need your help. Rey does. That's why you're here."

"Are you gonna let me in on this plan of yours or am I supposed to guess?"

"I find where Rey is hiding and you go and talk to her," Ren stated... as if it were obvious.

The trooper blanched. "Me?"

Yes, you. Who else would I be talking to? "I doubt she'll listen to anything I have to say."

"And she'll listen to me?"

Ren stared at the trooper for a considerable moment and thought how maddening it was going to be if the guy needed everything spelled out. "Your friendship is important to her," Ren said, trying to use his words carefully. "Way more important than I prefer it to be, but I can't change the way she feels. What you have with Rey is different from what I have with her. It's… cleaner somehow. Uncomplicated. Effortless." He deplored admitting such a thing, but facts were facts. And hopefully this would get the guy to stop asking questions. "If anyone can get through to her, it's going to be you. So you're going to follow my command and not fight me on every single decision I make. Because I don't need you to find Rey. I need you to save her. Understand?"

The trooper eased back, crossing his thick arms over his chest, peering out into hyperspace. The man remained quiet for a few contemplative seconds before saying, "You know, in a way, you're responsible for the friendship I have with her."

Ren didn't immediately respond, because he didn't see how giving said comment relevance would help lower his growing frustration. But then he thought about how the trooper should show a little gratitude over Ren giving him a best friend, and he couldn't stop the mocking sincerity from leaving his mouth.

"You're welcome."

The buckethead gave him a level stare, but surprisingly let the sarcasm go. "Fine," the trooper agreed. "I'm here for Rey anyways. Now where do you plan on searching first?"

Ren frowned. "I thought you just agreed not to be a problem."

"I asked a legitimate question. You can't just leave me in the dark as to where we're going."

Biting the inside of his cheek, Ren sighed through his nose. "Jakku."

The trooper nodded slowly, digesting Ren's response. "I was thinking we should start there as well. She probably wants to find Unkar and try to get out–"

"I don't need you to tell me why Jakku would be her first choice." Because Ren already worked it out for himself, thank you.

Shaking his head vehemently, the trooper;s voice grew sharp. "You know, I've never done anything to you. Not. A. Thing. And for some reason, the idea of even being on the same ship as me probably makes you want to destroy something – like you usually do when you get angry. I know who you are, remember? I've heard plenty about you while being a stormtrooper. And don't even get me started on what I've watched you do. But I'm here and willing to work with you so we can find Rey." He paused as he straightened his backbone further. "To hell with the deal. I'm going to ask you questions and demand you tell me what's going on, because you," he pointed at Ren, "need me. You don't want to admit it, but you do. You lied to Rey, and from what I saw in that recording, she despises you for it. Without me, you have no way of getting through to her or bringing her back from the Dark side. Right now, I hold all the cards and you know it."

Ren's expression turned demonic, his hatred for the guy making his ears ring.

"As much as I don't like you," the trooper continued, "we need to do this together. Or you can kill me right now and try to get Rey back on your own. Your call." Finn's stare was unyielding, his jaw locked and hard. It was as if he knew he'd won the argument, which did nothing to alleviate Ren's temper.

Fingernails digging into his palms, Ren was shocked he hadn't combusted into flame already... or lunged at the man. When someone pushed him beyond the point of anger, he usually liked to seek out some sense of closure – usually of the shallow grave variety. But Poe made it quite clear there would be retaliation if the guy wound up dead. Besides, the trooper did have a specific use at the present, which Ren now regretted sharing because the guy had been perceptive enough to use it as leverage. So for now, he was going to keep Finn's mortal status under the column of people-I-allow-to-keep-breathing… until-they-outgrow-their-use.

Ren stood to take his leave. "Where are you going?" the man asked, startled and still wanting an answer.

"Let me know when we drop out of hyperspace," Ren gritted out, stomping through the corridor to the room he claimed as his. Leaving was the only sensible thing he could think of doing. It was either that, or ruin the whole mission by committing murder.

Entering the muted, lifeless living quarters, he went through a pacific routine of pacing, breathing, and shaking out his arms. The width of his strides allowed him only three steps in each direction, but it would have to do since he wanted to alleviate his frustration privately.

Ren's spiraling eventually slowed, his brain no longer going through all the creative and dramatic ways he could murder the trooper and possibly get away with it. Sitting on the bed's edge, hands clutching his knees tightly, he looked around the familiar space, feeling as if he were an intruder. Even as a child, he never felt welcome on his father's ship.

My father's ship. The Millenium Falcon. The vessel that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs…. This ship was never going to see its owner again.

The despair Ren felt couldn't be measured through a sob, nor could an outside party perceive it through the naked eye. It was composed of the deepest roots that the soul could conjure, absorbing the words that could give it connotation. But maybe it didn't have a language, nor associate with any specific thought. Maybe all it was was a state of being, something in the spirit that the mind couldn't interpret.

This nonverbal part of him was fragmented and could never be fixed. Even if he one day forgave himself for murdering his father, the memories remained, shoved between the cracked crevices, denying them of healing.

Now, Rey had a small part of herself like that too, and Ren didn't want her to find it while being alone. Her strong spirit and compassionate heart helped him get to a place where he could manage being stuck with his regrets, and now, he believed he was capable of returning the favor.

He recalled the pureness of light that enveloped him as he pleaded to Rey not to give into her anger. And in the midst of that chaos, his soul had glowed brighter than a star, his body wrapping the warmth in the confines of his own skin, granting him a priceless gift. Why had he never felt that way in the thirty years he'd been alive? Why couldn't he feel that way all the time? What was stopping him?

The only thing that compared to it was Rey, and now she was gone.

What was he going to do without her? Who was he going to be without her?

Lying upon the lumpy bed, Ren stared at the low ceiling, smelling the distant fragrance of Rey on the pillow. She must've slept in this room….

Heavy exhaustion zapped his strength, like the galaxy drained him of everything he had. But as much as he needed to rejuvenate, he knew it was useless.

Sleep wouldn't help him, for it was his soul that couldn't rest.

()()()()()

The AT-AT was Rey's sanctuary and a place of defense – where strategies were morphed, scavenging plans mapped out, and where rest was granted unto her sore body. The sturdy walls and simple space offered her so many outlets to do with as she pleased, like it was the one place she had absolute control over. So many times she reorganized the living arrangements, moving her possessions as she pretended to be redecorating her own ornate home. How many tears the ground had felt, the cries the walls must've heard, the loneliness her objects witnessed. In a way, this rusty piece of antique weaponry knew her better than anyone else. It even rivaled Ben.

Was he trying to find her? Rey didn't bet on it. The Resistance would never let him leave, and she didn't think Ben would try that hard anyway. How important could she be to him if all he'd ever done was lie to her again and again? No, the only person who'd be searching was Skywalker. Wouldn't want to lose another apprentice. Failure didn't sit well with that Jedi Master.

She had to admit, though, coming back to Jakku was a transparent choice to make. While it had its risks, talking to Plutt had been way too important to set aside for another day. With maybe a half day lead, Rey would have enough time to see her plans through on this inconsequential planet. And that included a visit to her not so distant past. It's only been about two hours since arriving in Jakku's atmosphere; she didn't see how adding on one more would hurt any.

As Rey walked up to the circular entrance, the only sounds that could be heard were the smooth displacement of sand from her weighty steps, and the soft cool breeze that accompanied the nighttime air. Overhead, the velvety black sky glinted with thousands of stars, but she didn't ogle at the beautiful spectacle. She'd seen it plenty of times before. While the days were hot and dry and miserable, the hours of darkness always showed the planets soothing side – which most refused to see. But Rey always did. She always had a knack for seeing more than what was shown.

The entry wasn't locked – she had never incorporated such security measures. If someone wanted to get into her home, they would with or without a device momentarily hindering their way. Rey's safety lied within her warrior reputation: if she was feared, no one went near her possessions.

Now to see just how far that reputation held up.

Rey opened the hatch and swung the door wide. The metal creaked under her boots, the movement resounding in the dark space of her home. There was no need to bring a portable glow light. One nod and the light orb floated to the middle of the room, illuminating all the possessions she'd been fully prepared to see gone. But they were still there.

Walking slowly, her shadow danced along the walls, casting an ominous atmosphere through the core of the trustworthy abode.

This place definitely didn't feel the same anymore. Everything was how she remembered leaving it: her cooking supplies on the shelves, her hanging bed in the corner, the small table near the center. What she once put so much value in no longer held the same importance in her heart.

Stopping in front of the wall of tick marks, her heavy eyes scanned the peculiar work of art, her fingers still feeling the trained anticipation at adding another marker of time. But she didn't go for the metal pointer on the floor. Incapable of glancing away, she just stood there.

For reasons that pained her, the hollowness of her home… in her life… seemed louder than a scream.

So she did just that. Rey screamed for what she had lost, for what she had found, and for what she'd left behind. Somewhere among the emotional frenzy, Rey had ignited half of her lightsaber, slashing at the wall as if she could erase the evidence of her abandonment. Hacking and swinging, her arm blazed with momentous fire, her back seizing from the quickly propelled movements.

Her body was the first to give out, even though she had the craving to keep going. Panting the cool air and letting it ache her throat, she disengaged the saber and crumbled to the floor, lying face up, her eyes inspecting the molten slashes of the wall.

The dust and sparks eventually settled, but her thoughts did not.

Rey realized that all sentient beings had beasts inside, but unlike Ben, she didn't feel compelled to feed it. It was preferable to have it just wither away and die, leaving her at peace. But she figured there was no escaping from the animal she'd conjured through her violent actions. It was entirely possible that the act of killing was an eternal substance, one the beast could munch on for the rest of her waking days, taking a little bite here and little bite there so it remained secretly stagnant, waiting for the eventual feast.

No, that malevolent banquet was never going to come, because she was never going to seek it out. Promise yourself, she thought. Promise you won't.

"I promise," Rey whispered to her lifeless objects, to her imaginary friends… to herself. Cause there was no one else.

It hadn't even been a full day according to the Galactic Standard Calendar and here she was, not able to live up to the paradigm of apathy. And off in her mind stood a judgmental Rey, shaking her head and looking upon her with disappointment, labeling her as weak and timid. But did it truly take strength to be remorseless? She remembered Master Skywalker telling her that the Dark side was the easy path and that the Light was more difficult to maintain, but in the end, would be more rewarding.

If the Dark side truly was easy, then why couldn't she thrive in it? Why couldn't she sustain an unconcerned heart?

But the answer was easy: she had too much light imbedded within her. While she wanted to seek out the night, the sun stubbornly never set. Rey figured that was where her and Ben differed: he slipped under the veil of darkness without difficulty, while she lived in the light effortlessly. Well, until now.

What does it mean to truly be a good person, she mused internally.

Maybe you're only truly good when you can do bad, but choose not to. Like Finn, she thought. Loyal, trustworthy Finn.

Her friend was so good and strong, deserting the First Order because he knew the cause in which they fought for was evil. Truly, he had a conscience worthy of worship. Rey figured said conscience was now regarding her with revulsion. If he were ever to see her again, she could just imagine how he'd look at her.

What was his reaction when he learned of what she'd done?

It was interesting how much she worried over Finn's view of her while she didn't give Ben much thought. She didn't want to let her friend down, didn't want him to be disappointed in her or to judge her. His opinion of her mattered more than Ben's, and she concluded it was because Finn was whole-heartedly a good person, while Ben was not.

And once upon a time she was fully prepared to choose Ben over Finn? Just another example of how naïve she'd been. She'd gotten so lost in what it felt like to fall in love, that she looked past how much more important a friendship could be.

Her thoughts suddenly shifted to Mashra, one of her fellow scavengers who taught her the ins and outs of the dangerous trade. The woman was more mentor than friend, but out here, the only type of camaraderie to be found was the one that helped you find more valuable goods at the end of the day.

Rey's young eyes were attentive as they watched Mashra at the washing table, her ears closely listening to the humanoid's scavenging advice. She hurried to scrub the pair of magnetic couplings, but her small hands didn't provide her the best grip as it kept slipping out of her hold and falling into the metal washbasin. But she didn't give up and Mashra never yelled at her. Probably because she persevered.

The Aqualish, with her four eyes and red tusks, huffed deeply before continuing her vital lecture. "It doesn't matter if ya think you're a moment away from salvaging somethin' valuable, always leave earlier than ya think you should."

"But isn't finding something to trade most important?" she asked, her timid voice almost being masked by the blustering business of the bazaar.

"Nobody will pay ya if you're dead," Mashra bluntly said, eyeing the little child. "Scavengers start to get cocky, which leads them to staying out longer and suffering dehydration. You heard what happened to Binz Scoty?" Rey nodded, remembering how he was found dead in the Graveyard of Ships, his skin blistering and his canteen empty. He had a sack full of concussive grenades slung over his shoulder, but the person who discovered the corpse claimed them as their own. Binz had done all the work, but died from ignoring his bodies progressively weakened state. "Prime example of being an idiot. Respect the desert and you will survive."

Little Rey went back to the scrubbing, wondering how nice it would feel to get a whole bucket of water and pour it on her hot, overworked frame. "Mashra?" she whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Is it true that girls don't last long as scavengers?"

Mashra paused her own task of cleaning hardware before locking eyes with Rey and saying, "What numskull told you that?"

"Turgot."

The Aqualish rolled her four eyes in perfect unison as she got back to the daily chore. "Don't believe anything that comes out of that man's mouth."

"But… I overheard other scavengers agreeing with him."

Mashra's tusks quivered out of annoyance, but not because of Rey. "I'm a girl, ain't I?" Rey nodded. The alien put the scrubber down and leaned in close to the girl, her voice lowering and becoming stern. "Don't ever let one of these moronic men tell you that just because you're a girl, ya can't survive. The only thing men have more than us is muscle. But guess what? Muscles don't make ya smarter. They actually make you stupider, because over confidence makes them forget how to use their brains. And that always leads to death." Mashra regarded the young child a moment, thinking how to better explain. "Now I'm rather small, right?"

Rey eyed her up and down. "I suppose."

"And look how old I am. Ya think I survived this far only on strength?" Rey shook her head, her three little buns swaying side to side. "No, because having a keen mind is just as important as havin' physical strength. Power comes from your ability to strategize. Remember that."

The two different scavengers– one an aged alien, the other a small human girl – went back to the busy work of polishing their catches of the day, their movements mirroring each others without either noticing. They may be dissimilar in appearance and age, but as time went on, both would become savagely unafraid to go to war if it meant protecting themselves and what was theirs.

Bringing up memories of her mentor brought up memories of training with Luke Skywalker. The man – aged by too many wars and too many personal losses – had been a good and strict foundation for Rey when she needed it most. Just another person to add to the growing list of people she disappointed. After losing his nephew to the Dark side, Rey went and did the same thing to the old man. The Skywalker family was just riddled with so much bad luck, it made a person grateful not to be one of them.

Like being me is any better, she inwardly quipped.

Picking herself up, Rey walked over to the small stool-like table, studying the long dead spinebarrel flower in its metal cup. It had been dying before she even left Jakku, but to see its life fully dispensed made her feel like she'd somehow let it down.

"Join the club," she told the dried out plant.

Untying the hammock, Rey went about the space, placing her belongings gently onto the cloth that had always housed her tired body. Once done, she wrapped it all up and tied the ends together, dragging it to the exit. Her eye caught sight of the flower again, making her stop. She retrieved it before giving the place one last look around. It was difficult not to measure the vacant, now uninhabited home as evidence of her losses.

But one day, this place will shelter someone new, helping him or her to survive the harsh climate of Jakku. Hopefully they'll come to appreciate the AT-AT – formerly known as the Hellhound Two – as much as she did.

Back on the light freighter, Rey routed the next destination, but it wasn't to Dandoran. She needed some time to think of what to do… and to not look like she hadn't slept in a year. When she did have a reunion with her family, she didn't want them to see her like this. Hopefully some quiet time by the ocean and milking in the sun's warm rays would rejuvenate her. The healing would only be on the outside, but when it came to what she deserved, it was more than enough.

()()()()()

Lounging in the co-pilot's chair, Finn stretched out his legs as far as the space allowed, slumping and trying to get comfortable. His eyes had been closed for a good while in an attempt to alleviate the headache he acquired from looking at the blue and white swirls of hyperspace. It had been unwise to observe inter-dimensional travel for as long as he did, because he had no training as a pilot and was not used to the headache induced sight. Or maybe his eyes were just extra sensitive.

Massaging his temples, Finn hoped the migraine would ease soon. He didn't want Kylo Ren thinking he wasn't capable of doing the one task the guy had given him.

And thanks to Master Skywalker, Finn was now in one helluva delicate situation. Before departure and in secret, the Jedi had given Finn the last thing he ever wanted in his possession again: Vader's lightsaber. The very one Kylo Ren tried to kill him for.

Unwrapping the weapon from the loosely wound cloth, Finn dubiously glanced at the saber in Skywalker's hands, his palms gingerly holding the relic so Finn could inspect it.

Finn looked with uncertainty at the man. "Uhhhh… I don't think this is a good idea."

Skywalker remained insistent. "If you get in a dangerous situation, my nephew will be a lot more helpful with this weapon than with a blaster. But only give it to him if you absolutely have to. For now, keep it securely packed away."

"Why don't you just give it to him now?"

Luke's brows rose. "You want him to have a lightsaber throughout the duration of the trip?"

That silenced Finn for a moment. "No."

"That's why I'm giving it to you and not him. While he can be useful with the saber, he can also be volatile."

Finn was shaking his head slowly, comprehending that while Kylo was gifted with a saber, he still wouldn't want the guy to have access to one. But then again, Ren could easily kill him without such weaponry. "How do you know he won't sense it or something?" Finn asked, starting to accept this new idea.

Luke unclasped a pair of sophisticated cuffs from his belt and activated them, causing a blue sheen of light to glow from the inside. Sliding the hilt through one of the metal bracelets, he rewrapped the weapon in the beige linen cloth and handed it to Finn.

"This will dull the kyber crystal's power. Unless he's actively looking for it, Ben won't know it's there."

Because Finn decided to trust the man's logic, he'd taken the bundle and hurriedly placed it underneath the few clothes he ended up packing. Now, though, he didn't seem as confident in the decision of housing an artifact Ren found so revering. If the guy ever found out about it, Finn's existence was going to be cut painfully short.

Like it almost was the last time Ren saw the cursed thing.

Just thinking about Kylo made Finn increasingly uncomfortable. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed ridiculous to be out in the middle of space with a notorious murderer. But as he told Poe earlier, Rey was out here and he didn't want to let her down. And the First Order wanted her dead. He just couldn't let that happen. The possibility of her making a mistake and getting caught was substantially high. Finn wasn't looking down on her, nor did he think her weak, but he feared she still didn't know how to survive in the unforgiving expanse of space. Put her in a desert climate and she could probably find water within an hour, but pit her against the galaxy and problems became a lot more intricate.

So if Finn had to work with the devil in order to locate her, than that's what he'll do.

The devil… Finn still couldn't grasp how Rey could be with a man like that. Like, really together. He could understand why they had to work together, but adding a relationship to the dynamic seemed extremely superfluous.

"I told you to get me once the ship dropped out of hyperspace." Ren's highly aggravated voice interrupted Finn's thoughts, causing him to jump out of the chair and look at the man's ever-looming presence. "Not to stargaze and waste time."

Finn glanced over his shoulder, seeing the twinkling lights that littered the backdrop of space. He must've fallen asleep at some point, because he couldn't remember hearing the autopilots warning alarm that they were dropping out of the space-time dimension.

Ren scoffed, his disdainful eyes going to the controls as he moved to the pilot chair. "You're just as incompetent now as when you were a stormtrooper."

Abruptly, a familiar mechanical voice came from the entryway. "Excuse me, but might I inquire as to where we are going?" Both Ren and Finn flipped around, equally surprised and dumbstruck as to the sudden gold appearance of C-3PO. The droids mechanized head swiveled between the two men, waiting for an answer.

Ren was the first to compose himself, though the contempt in his tone didn't instill Finn with much confidence over Threepio's fate. "How are you even here right now?"

"I was already on board and in the engine room when you took off. And there I stayed till I knew who was piloting the spacecraft. I would think that was obvious," Threepio stated. "Since matter transportation doesn't exist, the most likely–"

"Why were you on the ship, Threepio?" Finn asked in a much kinder tone.

"Well... I came aboard in hopes of finding something to lift General Organa's spirits. Her mood has been rather glum lately. And sentimental objects can help a person be in a much more agreeable disposition. I was hoping to find such a possession on the Falcon. But then, and I'm quite embarrassed to admit it, I ended up idly strolling around, reminiscing about the past."

Finn was so preoccupied and bewildered by the fact Threepio was now here, he failed to notice the sour expression on Ren's tight face. "You don't reminisce," Kylo said coldly. "You're a protocol droid. Whatever feelings you think you have is just your programming."

Threepio didn't seem fazed by the statement as he turned slightly to Finn and said, "Master Ben always had a way with words. He mastered the art of subtly vocalizing insults at the young age of five."

A ghost of a smile played across Finn's lips as he tried to hide his amusement, but Ren failed to see the mirth behind Threepio's statement. Ren took a step forward, probably wanting to rip the droid apart with his bare hands, but was stopped as the ship abruptly went dark and quiet.

They remained still for a moment until a sharp lurch caused them all to teeter. Ren's deeply rooted frown showed his confusion, but Finn felt a strange sense of deja vu. As Kylo went for the controls, Finn climbed on the chair, peering out of the cockpit, well aware that Ren thought him ridiculous.

"The navicomputer won't respond and all systems are offline," Ren muttered to no one in particular while his hands flew over the control panel.

"Oh dear," Threepio exclaimed anxiously. "It would seem another ship has locked onto us and overridden all controls. Even life support is now–"

"I understand what it means to have controls overridden," Ren barked over his shoulder, then went back to the power board. "But it shouldn't be possible without the access codes to the ship," he whispered confusedly.

A steady stream of red light lit up the cockpit, making the two others join in with the looking up routine. "I–I know that freighter," Finn said as his heart sank all the way through the floor.

Ren was surprised. "You do?"

Finn sank back into the chair, his breathing deepening as he tried to reel in the panic. "Did Rey ever tell you about our run in with rathtars and your – and Han?"

Ren froze, and then swiftly jumped on the chair, his head almost hitting the top as he mimicked Finn's previous stance. "That's the same freighter?" he asked as they became fully engulfed into the hangar.

Good to know those two actually talked to one another instead of just… doing other things. "Yep. And if I had to guess, one of the two gangs pulled out a miracle, got rid of those creatures, and is now running that vessel." Finn's mind found a foundation of focus as he called upon his training as a soldier. "Even if we killed every person who came aboard, they still have control of the ship. So we couldn't get–"

"Would they be able to recognize you?" Kylo asked as he stepped down, his face not showing a twitch of worry. For someone who was wanted by the First Order just as much as Rey, it was weird to see such… composure. Finn's head was still in the game, but at least he was sweating.

Trying to review the whole rathtar disaster proved to be tricky, because it was all a blur of mania and survival. "I don't think so," Finn answered. "Everyone was pretty much running for their lives, making it difficult to get a really good look at me."

Ren was plainly unimpressed. "Not exactly the answer I was hoping to hear, but it will have to do."

Finn went for the corridor, thinking how they needed weapons and fast. "Skywalker gave me–" But he never finished the sentence. Darkness stole his vision and senses, making him drop to the floor unconscious.

()()()()()

"I can't believe you people," Vassena angrily said from behind one of Leia's office sofas. Most of the council was compacted into the sizable office, making it feel much smaller than it actually was. Behind the desk, Artoo and Luke remained by his sister's side as his eyes surveyed everyone's body language– which he didn't need to do since he could sense their emotions: frustration. Even the ones who primarily backed Leia – Ackbar, Statura – were somewhat upset. Although, he had an inkling it was over not being in on the plan rather than letting a notorious warlord free. "This is who runs the Resistance? People who have a flagrant disregard for the law?"

Luke raised his voice. "The law is insignificant when it comes to more personal matters of the universe."

"Oh, you mean the Force, Master Jedi? This may come as a shock to you, but I am a true believer." Indeed, that did shock Luke. And apparently everyone else in the impromptu meeting. "What I don't believe or have faith in is your nephew." That was difficult to argue against since Luke struggled with the same mistrust. But if he was sure about one thing, it was that Ben genuinely loved Rey.

He just wondered what Ben's definition of "love" entailed.

Standing, Leia placed her palms on the metallic bureau and leaned forward, hovering close to the holo-image of Han. "You want to leave Vassena, go right ahead," she said, motioning to the exit.

Vassena scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Don't be stupid, Leia. I know this is the last line of defense against the First Order. My troops and I aren't going to leave. But I want you to know that I think your leadership is critically flawed." Some heads nodded in agreement, others remained still. Luke held his tongue from wanting to defend Leia. She had the tendency of viewing a male's interference as labeling her to be weak.

He didn't feel up to having that argument with her. Again. For the fiftieth time.

"And what exactly is going on with the Force?" Trend added. All eyes went to Leia, waiting for a response.

"We are here to fight the First Order," Leia reminded everyone. "Your concern over the Force is not needed."

"But Skywalker made it sound important," Vassena said as she nodded at him. Leia glanced back, giving him a glare for opening his mouth. Leia asked for him to stay and help her and if she thinks that entails him being completely under her control, she was delusional. Plus, he couldn't help getting defensive when her leadership came under question.

Tossing the idea of staying mostly out of the matter aside, Luke said, "Matters pertaining to the Force will be handled by me. But our main priority should always be focused on the First Order. An army as vast as theirs could cause serious damage that even the Force cannot mend. The loss of the Hosnian system and Order 66 is proof enough of that."

Multiple conversations fought for Leia's attention, but this time, he didn't try to intercede. His main focus remained on Vassena, watching her speak quietly to her few advisors and private security. The woman must have felt his stare. She turned and glared.

Because of how late in the evening it was, Leia asked everyone to leave so they could reconvene early tomorrow morning. This time, Trend was the last to depart.

"If that girl is ever found, she'll see the full extent of her punishment," the woman added before exiting the private office.

Leia's deep exhale lasted for what seemed like days, her shoulders sagging and her face finally taking on the droopiness of exhaustion. Rounding the wide desk, she plopped onto the sofa, letting her head fall back onto the plush support.

"Do you think Ben will be able to find her?" she whispered.

Artoo followed as Luke sat opposite her, his arms crossing over his chest. "He'll never give up till he does. He's stubborn, just like his mother." Artoo beeped his agreement.

Leia smiled, but it vanished from a sudden show of concern. She brought her head up, locking eyes with her twin. "If he gets caught by–"

"He won't, Leia," he interrupted. "He's very smart and strategic."

She nodded and then began idly unfurling her braid, letting a moment of silence enter the now composed atmosphere. "You worried about Rey?" she asked.

"Of course." He kept his mouth shut on how the Jedi part of him really didn't want to be here. Truthfully, he'd been surprised that he agreed to stay. His place was out in the galaxy, searching for his apprentice and helping her come back unto the fold.

"You hate me for making you stay."

The two of them always had a way perceiving each other's feelings. But hate? She guessed the wrong emotion for once. "You didn't make me stay, Leia. I chose to. I trust Ben will do everything he can to find her." Really, he did. It was just if Luke had a choice, he preferred to be in control of a situation.

And Leia was right that he couldn't abandon the New Republic he helped create. And who else did she have to rely on? Han was gone.

"You think he can help her?" Leia queried.

"If it wasn't for the recording, I wouldn't think him capable. But he was sincere when talking about how the Dark side lied to him. So… I think he can help her. And Finn and Rey are good friends, which can make a huge difference." He fleetingly thought of Han.

With her hair fully down, Leia itched her scalp, a small frown forming on her fine face. "It's hard to fathom that such a sweet, strong girl could go and become that person from the projection. She –" Leia froze, glancing down at the ornate blue and white rug.

"She reminded you of Ben," Luke finished.

Leia nodded, sweeping the brown locks onto her back. "Like when he was younger and would get in one of his vindictive moods."

"We all have a side like that," he reminded her.

"I just hope if she remains on the Dark side, she doesn't drag Ben down with her." Her eyes widened at hearing what just came out of her mouth. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean–"

"I know." It was understandable for Leia to think such things, but Luke couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to that statement.

"I am worried about the girl," she scooted closer to the edge, imploring Luke to believe her. "It's just… Ben has been doing so much better lately. I'd hate for him to regress."

He caressed his beard while studying his sister. There was something to her tone when talking about his apprentice, something he couldn't decipher. "Are you actually worried for Rey?"

Leia drew back, appearing offended. "Of course I am. I just said I was. Why would you ask that?"

"Sometimes you seem indifferent towards her."

"Indifferent?" she echoed, her pitch intensifying. "How can I be indifferent towards the person who's essentially given me back a semblance of my son?"

Luke shrugged, hiding his surprise at seeing her get so defensive. "You tell me."

She rolled her eyes, sitting back and giving out a huff of indignation. Leia never did appreciate being questioned, but Luke was willing to wait here all night if it meant getting an answer out of her.

Gradually she calmed, her focus going to the hands resting gingerly in her lap. Even guarded, she always had a way of remaining physically poised, like the princess she grew up to be. Such traits were rarely found in a General, but Leia built this movement from the ground up, so it was fully in her control to redefine the stereotype of military leadership.

And through it all, she always had a way of remaining– what was the phrase she sometimes used? A royal pain in the ass.

But sitting here with her twin, she started to let some of her barriers down.

Chewing at her lip, Leia seemed to become shy. Nervous. Maybe even apprehensive. "I don't know…" she finally whispered. "I do know I'm not uncaring toward the girl."

"But there is something going on," Luke pushed.

"I guess…" Pause. "Maybe I'm envious of her."

"You're jealous?" he said, stunned. This was another example on how Luke had a hard time understanding the intricacies of female emotion. He figured Leia was starting to dislike the girl, because she was taking up too much of Ben's attention. But of course, nothing was simple when it came to his sister.

"Sounds horrible, I know. But how can I not be?" Leia threw her hands up, surrendering to how she felt. "Ben fell to the Dark side and Han tried to bring him back and didn't succeed. But then a seemingly random girl walks into his life and he completely changes everything for her? He grew up loved and in a family and isn't that supposed to mean something? Why doesn't that mean more to him?"

Luke regarded her for a moment before leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. In a steadfast voice, he said, "You're not a horrible person, Leia. And what happened to Han impacted Ben deeply and obviously haunts him. I think what happened on that bridge was the catalyst of him wanting to leave that life behind. And in my opinion, after that, he would have left the First Order even if Rey never came into his life." Luke began putting together these words in hope of comforting Leia, but the more he spoke the more he found he actually believed it.

"You truly think so?" she said softly.

"Yes, I do. And I think you're overlooking the fact Snoke has been morphing Ben into his apprentice since before he was born."

Leia sighed, running her fingers reflexively through her hair. "I know, I know."

"Don't forget he also shares a deep bond with Rey," he added.

Her eyes suddenly flared. "But what about a bond between mother and son?"

If Luke had children of his own, maybe he could relate to her, but he couldn't. "If you deny something's existence long enough, you forget that it's there." That didn't seem to quail her frustration much. "You know you should talk to him about how you feel."

She shook her head, ruffling her brown-grey locks. "Every time we talk to each other, we fall back into old habits – which involves a whole lot of bickering and snark."

"Wasn't he honest about wanting you to be a mother to him?"

"Yes… but you should have seen the delivery. It was like it pained him to admit such a thing because he thought it made him look foolish."

"He does that defensively."

"Well, it's annoying… and hurtful." Leia glanced over to the wide, metal bureau. He followed her line of sight to Han's holo-image.

"Luke," her voice cracked. "What are we going to do about Snoke? Rey is Force only knows where, Ben is off searching the galaxy, and I am stuck here commanding an army so everything doesn't fall apart." She took in a breath. "I have to be honest: If that creature ends up getting my son, I won't be able to keep going. I've been through a lot, but if I lose my child, I can tell you right now I won't be able to recover from that. Ben falling to the Dark side nearly ruined me. And then what happened on Lothal… I just can't."

Her lips quivered, eyes shining as she tried to hold in the pressure of emotion from escaping. Speaking to her in a gentle voice, he said, "We'll find a way to make everything come together, Leia. I can feel it."

Artoo whistled his support.

A knock came from the door, which made Leia wipe her face as if she'd been crying. "The same goes for you Luke. I can't lose anymore people to this war." Before he could respond, she called out for the visitor to come in. It was Admiral Statura.

"General. Sorry to interrupt so late, but Sienar Design Systems is requesting to speak with you. They want to discuss about getting X-wings manufactured for us." Statura's eyes tried to look at everything but Leia as he gave her the news. Maybe he's too disappointed in her, Luke considered. But the man appeared to be more anxious than upset. There was even a tinge of sweat beading above his brow.

Leia let out a relieved breath. "Finally, some good news." She stood and straightened her military jumpsuit as she went to retrieve her purple vest from atop the desk chair. "Ready to start showing your face to the galaxy?" she asked, glancing over.

Gone was the woman who was so pained over the uncertainty of the future, for she was replaced with a leader who turned the worry into power and focus.

Their eyes met as she tied back her hair. The stare wasn't long or drawn out, but it was enough for them to share a quiet confidence between the two. Their separation had been a long one, but their frequencies still operated on a level that only the two of them could interpret. Knowing he still had that with her gave him strength in a time where it was hard to find any.

Luke stood, giving her a warm smile. "As long as you're beside me, I'll be ready."

()()()()()

Ren used the Force to put the trooper into a catatonic state, causing the man to crumble to the floor.

"Oh!" Threepio exclaimed and stumbled back. "What are you doing? Is your incessant need for violence still a problem after all these years?!"

Ren ignored that.

Hoisting the trooper's dead weight onto the pilot's seat, Ren turned and grabbed the protocol droid around the waist, dragging him down the curved corridor. Lifting a section of the mesh floor near the entrance, he ordered Threepio into the compact crawl space. When the droid didn't move, Ren grabbed one of the shiny arms and threw him into the sensor-proof smuggling compartment.

Sprinting to the living quarters, he quickly grabbed the two bags and headed back to the shrieking droid. Tossing everything at Threepio, the droid crumpled under the weight, cutting off the continuous complaining as Ren jumped inside and closed them in.

"I have never been so brutishly treated–"

Ren grabbed the droid around the neck, bringing those shiny eyes up to his impatiently twisted face. "Either you shut up or I rip you apart and throw your scrap metal parts into space. Not a word Threepio. Not. A. Word."

"But–" Ren flicked the small power switch that resided on the back of the droids neck, watching as those bright eyes blinked off and the golden body sagged. Ren inwardly scolded himself for even giving Threepio a chance to be quiet. He should've remembered that the robot never responded well to threats – it just made him more terrified.

Ren knew that from first hand experience.

The ship jostled and jerked before going silent, conveying that it had landed. The ship's internal illumination returned to full power, allowing the outside party to lower the ramp manually. Muted footsteps and voices carried into the compartment, and it was difficult to make out how many were now searching the Falcon. He could somewhat make out the red uniformed men through the netted floor, but his sight couldn't quite procure any minute details from where he was sitting. To see better, he would have to get right up against the flooring, and that might give away his position.

There was the temptation to just burst forth and go sliding down the path of a murderous rampage. But as inviting as it was to kill every person that came aboard, Ren knew that plan was highly probable to fail. He would still be left with the problem of overridden controls, which he could only fix from somewhere on the enormous freighter. Hopefully Finn being found would satiate their driven search – albeit for a little while – and give him enough time to get the Falcon back under his control. Force stunning the guy had been merciful since it was highly unlikely the gang would kill him before they got answers.

But "highly" didn't mean certainly.

Slipping into a quick meditation, he couldn't quite gage how many people were on the service deck either. Ren had been thoroughly trained in observation, excelled at problem solving, and even though he faltered at it, could successfully meditate for hours on end – setting permitting. But crammed into this tight space and joints aching from the pressure, his mind was nowhere to be found. He was like a speeder without an engine: everything where it should be, except all it was was useless potential.

Grinding his molars till his teeth throbbed, Ren actually missed the man he'd been when he was with the First Order. Yes, he had moments of extreme anger, but for the most part, his emotions had been in check, clearing up his mind to process and allow him to be objective. Now, feelings tended to supersede logic and even promptings from the Force. At least, that's how he viewed it at the moment. The mind always had a way of warping memories to make you think that the past was more agreeable than the present. Or vice versa.

No use in thinking about such things, however. He needed more of a plan, and the only one he could come up with was to play the situation slyly. Not a method he knew particularly intimately. Rey was much better at –

Nope. He couldn't let his thoughts drift to her right now. He needed to focus if he wanted to get out of this alive and with the First Order unaware of him being here.

Orders were distantly given not to kill any of the crew, and Ren overheard them finding the trooper lounging in the cockpit. They were all confused at to why he wouldn't wake, but they decided to give it a few hours to see if his condition would change. Fortunately, no one said anything about recognizing him.

"We also found what looks to be his belongings," a man said close to where Ren hid. "This was buried beneath the clothes." Ren frowned, wondering what was significant enough to report–

His hairs stood to attention as he abruptly sensed something.

Quietly maneuvering to his knees, Ren stretched upward, his nose pushing against the cold durasteel as he tried to get a good angle on the two men above. His vision fell upon the shiny and iconic saber hilt, the one he tossed aside years ago and tried to recently kill to get back.

What he did next was completely out of his control, as if his body had become possessed by greed.

The two men dropped to the floor – dead – as the metal grating levitated to allow Ren enough room to Force pull the two corpses into the smuggling compartment. Calling the saber to his palm, he crouched back down and replaced the flooring. It all happened within a span of a few seconds, allowing him not to be seen by the trio of thugs now turning and walking down the corridor.

The small stall quickly shrunk to the size of a utility box, but Ren didn't care his knees were screaming and that he was essentially sitting on a pair of corpses. He had his grandfather's lightsaber back, its sleek hilt slightly shaking from his trembling hands. The way his eyes drank in the design and his mouth watered, he realized he still very much looked up to the legend. The power that man possessed, the vision, the brutality – Ren worshiped it all… and wanted it.

Footsteps up above brought him crashing back to reality, reminding him that the saber had been here. On the ship. The whole time. And that damn trooper had been hiding it from him. Why? How did he even get it? Skywalker… Ren snatched the brown leather bag the lightsaber had been found in and discovered Force suppressant cuffs. His uncle must have wrapped the weapon with the restraints to muffle its power. If Ren weren't so wound up, he would have been slightly impressed by the whole scheme.

But why give a stormtrooper a lightsaber? It was nonsensical. That idiot wasn't even Force sensitive; he wouldn't even be able to utilize the weapon to its full extent!

A thick, male accent rang throughout the Falcon, the man making it known he was clearly agitated. "Where are Beemedr and Yoston?" Ren glanced down, figuring the lifeless bodies were the aforementioned men. "They commed me and said they found a lightsaber onboard, and now none of you can tell me where they are." Voices talked over one another, and they continuously grew louder as they rounded down the hallway. "Contact the First Order immediately and double security on the ship," the leader ordered as they passed right above Ren, going straight to the exit. "There's only one person in the Solo family who would possess a lightsaber, and the First Order would pay a lot to whoever found him."

Ren inwardly let out a long stream of curses.

Seeing how anonymity no longer mattered, his initial plan was now useless – thanks to the trooper and, by extension, Skywalker. Fine. He could adapt. He's done it before. This wasn't the first time he'd chosen the wrong plan. And since time was now of the essence, he would have to go back to the basics he knew best and stop with the hiding.

Ren smiled as he stroked the saber hilt with his thumb. He was the type of person who didn't shy away from the gruesome nature of violence, but welcomed it. In reality, being brutal gave you so many things that were not readily available to the vast majority of the public, even though you'd think most would be eager to live a life based on entitlement. But, as the saying went: Everyone wanted to eat, but few were willing to hunt.

And as it just so happened, Ren was starving.

A/N

Who here thinks Ren is going to have way too much fun cutting those people down? Yeah, I think so too. lol. And when it comes to Finn, the nerves her has while being around Ren won't last long. Also, when writing from Ren's perspective, I hope none of you are getting annoyed with how much he thinks about his father. That will never change just because how much he regrets it and is traumatized by his own actions. Han has a big part to play when it comes to Ben. Hope you all understand that. And I wanted there to be a stark contrast between the two people he essentially is. While he knows the dark side is full of lies, a part of him doesn't care and welcomes it anyway– as exampled at the end of the story. Now onto Rey: she is definitely struggling with the dark side. A lot of her resolve is cracking fairly quickly, which is an example of how different she is from Ben. Hope you guys weren't expecting her to turn into this evil person.

Well another chapter down, only like, fifteen more to go. I really planned way too much for this story.

I have two questions I want to pose to you all:

1. Would you rather I keep my schedule of posting a chapter ever two weeks to a month? Or would you rather I write the rest of it out and then post it all at one time. The latter option might take six months to a year to complete, but I'm wondering your preference.

2. Anyone going to star wars celebrations in Orlando? My husband and I will be attending and I'm feeling like their needs to be a time to have a Reylo get together. I want to pose the idea on tumblr as well. Anyone going to be there?

So if you have time, please leave a review or follow the story if you aren't already! Thanks for reading!