Thanks to all who followed, faved, and reviewed the story! You all are the fuel that keeps me writing. Thank you!
NightElfCrawler: Loved writing Ben teaching Finn how to fly. Basically I like writing all their interactions. And you're right about Rey growing up quickly. Less idealistic and more realistic. Perfect way to describe her journey. She did start off a bit naive, which was to be expected when your isolated for so long. But she's still a badass. Aletta Wolf: Always try to hit you guys with the emotions. And this chapter isn't any different. It's definitely slower than the last two chapters, but has a lot of information. Still, I hope you all like it! SheLitAFire: I know, I wish I could have done more with the Wookies. I honestly had more planned for them, but I need to cut this story down in places that aren't as important. Or else this story will be super, super long instead of just super long. lol. House Mandalore is in The Clone Wars cartoon, which I am a huge fan of. I will be putting more stuff from clone wars in my story actually. I will try to explain it all as best I can for those who haven't watched the cartoon. But seriously, you all should! And you are not far off about Mandalore. Not. At. All. hehe. Yeah, I've had the fall of the Resistance planned since I started writing, and then when I saw the trailer I thought, "What a perfect shot to put in the scene!" The legend Ben tells to Rey is based off of the story of Narcissus. I've always loved that story, so I twisted it around into the version that is in here. I forgot to explain that at the end of the chapter. But I was so tired and just wanted to post it. lol. I'll need to go back and add that. The family is minor characters, but I didn't want to leave their fate in question. So, they are saved! You think Poe is going to Jakku for the mission? Well, you find out in this chapter what he is up to. Juvia'sLoveRival: Hope the wait wasn't too long and harrowing! I love to hear how people binge read my story. Best compliment! It means I got ya hooked! lol. Thanks for the compliment. And I think once I am done with the story and have gone through to edit it, I'll start posting it in more places. Till then, I like the small fan base. KatMichBow: You, my dear, always have the best reactions. I love it. Yes, things may look bleak, but the light always finds a way. Ya'll just don't know what that way is. There still is a few more things that need to happen in the story before the end comes. So I hope you all don't get super impatient. The end is like this three part finale, and you might view it as a little dragged out. Which I know is a no-no in writing and film, but hey, this is my story. So I'll write what I want. I ain't gettin' paid for this. Most of you wanted more anyways, right? But we are probably down to maybe eight chapters left. Crazy! Rey will be spending more time with Soniee, but not as much as I would hope. Like I said, I have to cut down some parts of the stories or summarize it. And I'm glad everyone is enjoying the FinnBen dynamic. More to come!
So as I said, this chapter is slower with no action in it. Most of it is about interactions. I have a lot that I still need to set up before we get to the end. Anyway, Enjoy the chapter!
Chapter Thirty-eight
In his own personal shuttle, General Armitage Hux was flown down to what was left of the Resistances stronghold. The First Order had won a significant battle, but Hux was fuming. A Super Star Destroyer was now gone, and the cause in which it suddenly plummeted to the ground could not be found. One of his engineers even had the gall to tell him it was like a monumental cosmic push made it malfunction.
That man was demoted to sewage detail.
And already on the building list of failures was the humiliating debacle of finding the Eravana a floating pile of scrap metal. Obviously by Ren's hands. And the let down of not apprehending that snake had put Hux in more of a sour mood. Ren had a way of slipping through obstacles while leaving numerous bodies and torrential destruction in his wake. Hux hadn't minded it as much when the man was on their side.
But with the change in allegiances, it was now a problem.
Hux stepped off the transport, smoke and ash still swirling in the air. The base was half obliterated, random pockets of architecture still actively crumbling. Some parts were still useful, though. Among them: a hangar that was being used to store any remaining Resistance members.
Hux was initially disappointed with the numbers of only two dozen prisoners. But that number was probably low due to the high death toll. And really, having less of these toxic, idealistic people in the galaxy was always a benefit.
Troopers were going from prisoner to prisoner, scanning their palms on Galactic Identification tablets. So far, all of them were just generic soldiers or medical personnel – a bunch of nobody's that were useless in the eyes of the First Order.
Hux addressed the battered group. "I will take your willingness to answer my questions into consideration on deciding your fate." A few ears perked up. Some eyes pinched in defiance. But he could tell that someone in the crowd was going to talk. "Was the evacuation signal given before we arrived?" Hux had been expecting to fight with the Resistance armada. It had come as a surprise when he found the fleet to be gone.
A heartbeat of silence. Then, near the front of the group, a young woman with a nurse's patch on her lapel answered: "Yes."
Someone in the crowd tried shutting the her up. "Chraja, don't–"
"About ten minutes before," the nurse added skittishly. Pity Statura couldn't keep his word. Now Hux had to make the decision of what to do with the man's wife and daughter.
Towards the back, a stormtrooper hoisted an older woman to her feet and brought her before him. Hux looked over the tablet, instantly intrigued by the information.
"Harter Kalonia," he read out loud. "A doctor in various fields of practice. Says here you used to have your own private clinic on Hosnian Prime." He handed the piece of tech back to the trooper and eyed the woman. That bold stare showcased the doctor's resiliency. "Were you the personal doctor of Leia Organa?"
Kalonia didn't answer.
"She was," the nurse said suddenly. "They're good friends."
"Chraja," Kalonia bit out. "Keep quiet."
"I'm not dying over useless information."
"Not useless information, I assure you." Hux turned his calculating stare back to the doctor. "You must've known Ben Solo." Knowing she wouldn't respond, Hux studied her face and body language.
Nothing.
The doctor was a blank slate. A professional. But so was he. "You see, I do an extensive background check on the people I work with. Especially if the person is the son of the Resistance leader. You know what I discovered about his youth? His education suddenly veered more toward him studying medicine around the age of eleven. All of his school courses were beginning to revolve around it before he was shipped off to Skywalker. And who just so happens to be a doctor that is close friends with his mother?"
And there it was. An eye twitch. So subtle, yet so telling. "It means nothing," she commented evenly.
Hux grinned. "Oh, I think it means something to him. Put her on board," he ordered the trooper. "Kill the rest."
The doctor screamed for him to show the others mercy as she fought against her escorts. But Hux would show none. The rebels cried out as they were put down by blaster fire.
All the while, Hux walked back to his shuttle, not looking back. Those banal people didn't deserve his time, even as they died.
Soaring through the atmosphere to the Finalizer, Hux was commed by Lieutenant Mitaka. "Sir, there is news from the mainframe retrieval team. They were able to recover some deleted video of Kylo Ren's training sessions. Most of the material is choppy, but there are some good shots of his face we can use. Shall we leak it to the Holonet?"
Hux quickly shut his mouth before speaking. Pausing in consideration. Concocting a strategy around the idea that suddenly popped in his head. "Actually, no," he spoke into the device.
"No?"
"I want to wait to release the footage. But do give the ones who found it a promotion. Exceptional work always deserves a reward."
"Yes, General. I'll let the team know."
Armitage rested his fiery colored head against the durasteel, thinking over his decision. He wanted Ren to get comfortable, to show his unknown face to as many humans and humanoids as possible. And only when that incompetent piece of flogwaste believed he outran the consequences of betraying the First Order, would Hux finally release the dug up recordings. What a riot it would cause, too. A huge bulk of Kylo Ren's recorded training sessions were of him executing Resistance scum after torturing them for information.
If that doesn't enrage those rebels to try and kill him, he has one more bit of information he could throw in there:
The fact the man murdered his own father.
But all that would have to wait a little bit longer. Right now, Hux needed to focus on taking the galaxy's capital.
()()()()()
"My child," Soniee whispered in Rey's ear. "Where have you been?"
Rey loosened out of the embrace, still on her knees as she told her tale of Jakku. She weaved her life of scavenging to sound more optimistic than it was. But from Soniee's saddened eyes, Rey knew the woman could recognize the hardship that was hidden in her voice.
There were a lot of apologies from the older woman. A lot of blaming herself for not looking for them harder. Rey would have none of it. But no amount of consoling could stifle Soniee's guilt.
"I have a good life now," Rey reassured her grandmother. "I have friends. People who love me." She stood and motioned for Ben to join them.
Hands out of his pockets and slightly hunched over to appear less intimidating, Rey introduced the two. "Ben, this is Soniee. Soniee, this is Ben."
He put his hand out and shook Soniee's gently, giving her a charming smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
Soniee smiled slowly as her eyes ran up and down his tall frame. Ben gave no indication of being uncomfortable by the obvious once over. He just stood there, looking like the nicest young man any girl would be glad to bring home to her family, even with the scar across his face.
Rey was momentarily dumbfounded by the sudden transformation.
"How long have you two been together?" Soniee asked.
"Uhhhh…" Rey looked to Ben, who looked right back at her. "Well, we met a few months ago. And since then our lives have been very… intertwined, I would say."
"Love at first sight, then?"
Rey's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. She didn't know how to answer. Fortunately, Ben answered with a deep, pleasant laugh. "More so for me than for her. I didn't make the best first impression."
Rey blinked at this young, enthusiastic man standing beside her, wondering if this was who Ben Solo used to be.
She cleared her windpipe. "He was very… forward."
Soniee nodded knowingly before patting Ben's arm and whispering, "You never want to be too forward with a woman, dear. It's a major turnoff to look so needy."
Ben chuckled, nodding his head. "I'll remember that."
"Have you two eaten yet?" Soniee whirled around, not giving them time to answer as they kept up with her. "I have some gi dumpling soup simmering on the stove. Or I can put together some sandwiches?"
On the way back to the house, Ben made conversation with Soniee about the soup, earning her praise when he named the dishes origin of being from Mandalore. They were still talking about the ingredients all the way through the hallways and into the kitchen.
But something wasn't right. Rey's body started to warm and her heart rate increased, like a bad case of anxiety. As Soniee rose out of the hover chair and walked to the chill box, Rey took Bens arm and drew him close. In a low voice, she asked, "Do you sense something wrong?"
He arched a brow. "Do you mean with Soniee?"
"No. Not with her." She exhaled, frustrated. "I don't know how to describe it."
"Maybe it's your nerves over being here."
It wasn't that. Rey was sure of it. But if Ben wasn't experiencing what she was feeling, than maybe she should let it go. His abilities in the Force were way more practiced and fine-tuned compared to hers.
Soniee placed the deep bowls on the counter, motioning for Rey and Ben to sit on the metal stools. Keeping her greedy appetite at bay, Rey civilly ate the meal. Didn't even slurp once.
Rey was finding the decision to bring Ben along to be a good one. Growing up so isolated and alone, she still had problems with socializing and finding the right thing to say. And with Ben occupying her grandmother with talks of Mandalore, Rey had a chance for her eyes to roam and observe the surroundings.
There was not one holopic on the shelves. No warm decorations.
The inside of the home was a stark contrast to the outside: sleek metallic walls, sharp edges, and a corner of the living area designated to every piece of modern gadgetry the galaxy had to offer. An obvious one being a security system showing the surrounding area of the house.
After gracefully declining a third helping, they all made their way to the adjacent living area.
"You live alone?" Ben asked as he surveyed the technology.
Soniee moved to the small sofa, exhaling as she lowered herself. "I'm old, and yes, alone, but I'm not stupid. I prefer to be ready for anything." Anything must include an invasion. "Sit, please."
Rey sat stiffly on the larger sofa across from her grandmother. Ben was next to her, arm spread across her back. Openly touching her in front of someone. Should she lean into him? Or stay how she was? How did couples act in public?
She wasn't sure.
Soniee pegged them with a serious stare. "I need to know about that vid. About what happened to my daughter and Jacen."
It was like Ben knew Rey couldn't talk about it, because he jumped right into all the facts they had straightaway. Rey listened, her jaw and shoulders tight, her eyes on her knees. She didn't want to watch Soniee's reaction. But her ears still picked up on the woman's sniffling and soft gasps.
Soniee became enraged at the idea of Maridia being a secret descendant of Palpatine. Even going as far as cursing the New Republic for having murderers as senators. Ben didn't refute her claim.
The room fell quiet for a long stretch of time as Soniee composed herself.
Ben was the one to speak up. "Where exactly is Maridia from?"
Soniee wiped at her eyes with a shaky hand. "She's from here."
"But she isn't your biological daughter?"
"No." Soniee glanced at the bare wall, as if there used to be a picture of a memory there. "While Maridia was born here, I'm originally from Mandalore. In my youth, I entered the Royal Academy of Government and studied politics alongside my friends. The four of us were a tight-nit group... very patriotic to our home world. Even uncovered the Prime Minister's conspiracy to involve Mandalore in the black market trade network. We went on a lot of adventures together. Some good." Her voice went soft. "Some disastrous."
Soniee pulled a tissue from her pocket, coughed, folded it back up. "When the Empire formed, Amis and I joined the Rebellion. His place was on the front lines, while I remained in the background. With my knowledge of technology and code, my job was to decrypt important Imperial messages. I met Jax during that time. He funded large parts of our operations in secret, and came to see exactly what we did." Soniee lightly chuckled, shaking her head. "Never thought I would marry someone who wasn't Mandalorian, but I'm glad I did. He was a great man, and a good father."
Another moment of silence. Another look at the walls.
"Anyway, Amis died shortly after my wedding. And I still had no idea where Korkie or Lagos were. I thought they would've joined the cause with Amis and I, but they just disappeared right after the Empire rose to power. I tried finding them to tell them about Amis, but I came up with nothing. So, I kept going on with my life. Months later I found out I was pregnant and was stationed on Dandoran with my husband."
"When you say Korkie, do you mean Korkie Kryze?" Ben asked.
"I do."
Rey looked between the two, puzzled. "Who's Korkie Kryze?"
"He's the nephew of Duchess Satine, leader of the New Mandalorians," Ben explained patiently. "They both belonged to House Kryze, a very prominent political family during the Clone Wars."
Narrowing her eyes, Soniee said, "You sure do know a lot for being so young."
"I like studying history. And I'm not that young, I assure you."
"Everyone's young to me." Soniee was studying Ben differently than before. Like she could sense there was something more to him than what he let her see.
"Did you ever find out what happened to Lagos and Korkie?" Rey questioned.
"A few years later, they finally contacted me. Wanted to visit. Seeing them again… I admit, I was quite angry with them. But Korkie promised me all the hiding was for a very good reason. That it was very important they were not to be found. It was also a shock to learn that the two of them were together. And that Lagos was expecting.
"So I let them stay with us for a while to figure out their next move. But weeks turned into months, and Lagos was getting closer to her due date. Then three weeks before the baby was supposed to arrive, she went into labor. We had our own personal medical droid, but there was only so much it could do… and Lagos and Korkie refused to go to the med center. Said it was too dangerous. Jax and I tried to tell them… we tried telling them that with Lagos being passed normal birthing age, that it was dangerous... her age could cause complications..." Soniee's chest caved, her lips pursed. "Well, it doesn't matter anymore. Lagos bled too much and died in Korkie's arms while I held the baby."
Rey's mouth fell open.
"We wrapped Lagos in some sheets, let Korkie be alone with her. Then during the night, he took her onto his ship and left. I didn't know where he went, but he came back after three days. He sat Jax and I down and told us he wasn't fit to take care of his daughter and that we should take her in. I should've been more shocked by the request, but I wasn't. I'd already been caring for that little girl, and... I know it sounds horrible, but it felt like she was mine. Even though I had my two boys by then, it wasn't an inconvenience. I always wanted a daughter..."
Soniee sat there, staring distantly at the floor. Quiet. "So... that was it?" Ben pushed. "Korkie gave you the child and left?"
Blinking quickly, Soniee adjusted her posture in the armchair. "Well, no. He named her, spent some time holding her. He would come a couple times a year and visit. We always introduced him to the kids as a friend to the family."
"Has he come by recently?"
"It's been about five years since the last time I heard from him. After Maridia disappeared, he didn't come by as much. No doubt he was searching for her. Probably still is."
"Do you know how to contact him?" Rey inquired, hopeful.
Soniee shook her head in sadness. "No. I've never known how to get in touch with him. He thought it would be better that way, just in case people came asking questions. Every time he came here, it was always unexpected."
Rey seemed to sink lower into the cushions. Ben put his hand on her knee, feeling her morose. "Why exactly was he trying so hard to hide from the Empire?" he asked.
"The Empire wanted to eradicate the Jedi. Even those who were bearing the gift of the Force were seen as a threat, and were either eliminated or taken in to be molded as an Inquisitor."
That perplexed Ben. "What does that have to do with Korkie?"
"His bloodline is descended from a Jedi."
Rey and Ben looked at the woman. Dumbstruck.
Stumbling over his words till he could form a sentence, Ben pointed out, "House Kryze doesn't descend from any Force users."
A sly smirk formed across Soniee's lips. "Not officially, no. When the Empire formed and the order to kill all the Jedi came, Korkie's mother told him of where he truly came from and why it was important to hide. You see, his biological mother was Duchess Satine, whom he grew up knowing as his aunt. When she was young, Satine became pregnant and her family agreed to keep it a secret and to have her sister raise the child."
"That doesn't explain the Jedi aspect of his heritage," Ben stated.
"His father was a Jedi, which was another reason Satine demanded Korkie's true parentage be kept a secret. If it came to light, the father would be expelled from the Order."
Rey leaned in, her torso almost touching her thighs. "Who's the father?"
"Obi-Wan Kenobi." Rey's eyebrows drew together as she tried to place where she had heard that name before. "He was tasked with keeping Satine safe and was her bodyguard for a year. They were only teenagers, so you could imagine the scandal Satine would have faced if her pregnancy became known." Soniee paused, her eyes scrutinizing Ben. "I'm sorry, did I say something to upset you? You look to be ill."
Rey glanced up at him, noting the pallor of his skin and how his throat kept constricting with each swallow. She placed her palm on his back, but he didn't show any sign of noticing.
Ben licked his lips, his palm firmly gripping her knee. "That's really what Korkie told you?" Soniee nodded. "How sure are you that this is all true?"
Soniee became defensive. "These facts made him hide from the Empire and live a life of seclusion. He wouldn't fabricate something like that. No one would."
Rey spoke up. "I'm sorry, but remind me, who is Obi-Wan Kenobi? I've heard the name before, but–"
"Anakin Skywalker was Obi-Wan's apprentice," Ben said through a tight voice. "Before he became Darth Vader."
"Obi-wan caused a lot of Vader's disfigurements," Soniee chimed in. "So Vader spent the rest of his life searching for Obi-Wan, until he finally killed him." Ben eyed the elderly woman in surprise. Not many people went out of their way to research the minute details of Anakin's life.
"Of course, Korkie didn't know that Vader was Anakin Skywalker," Soniee went on to clarify. "He just thought he needed to hide because he was biologically tied to a Jedi. It wasn't till after the Empire fell that he found out who Vader really was, and then told me everything. We both couldn't believe it. We'd met Anakin in our younger years, and even worked with his padawan to uncover political corruption on Mandalore. Sometimes I still can't process it all. And then to hear the news that Vader had children, one of them being Luke Skywalker and the other a prominent senator? One of the biggest scandals the galaxy had ever seen."
"Umm, yeah…" was all Rey could think of to say.
"And to add to all that, have you heard about Leia Organa's son being that monster? Makes you question whether darkness is hereditary."
Rey heard the air leave Ben's lungs. She put both her hands on top of his, trying to ease him in a way that didn't seem blatantly obvious. "Yes. We do know about that," Rey replied. "Would you be able to tell me more about my parents? How they met, perhaps?"
The change in subject relaxed the atmosphere as Soniee transitioned to more lighthearted stories. And Rey quickly became entranced for the next couple hours.
While Maridia grew up in comfort and wealth, Jacen did not have those luxuries. His mother died when he was two, his father becoming a prominent spice addict soon after her death. Not being fit to take care of a child, Jacen became orphaned and lived at the local displaced children center. But the boy was smart. Too smart to stay in those mundane schools. On his own, he won a scholarship to go to Lunburr Academy, the same school Maridia was attending.
Even though he was poor and lacked the lavish life of the rest of the students, Jacen had one thing going for him: he was extremely charismatic. He quickly garnered friends and admirers. Among which was Maridia. But she was four years younger than him, hardly mature enough to be noticed.
So they both went about growing up, dating other people, going off to a university. It wasn't until Jacen graduated and Maridia was home on holiday that they connected. It was a fast romance, a short engagement, and a beautiful wedding.
Soniee was just getting to the part where Maridia broke the news that she was pregnant when one of the monitors in the corner abruptly beeped.
It showed a fast moving Finn running straight for the front entrance. He banged on the door, yelling their names.
Soniee was obviously annoyed by the interruption. "A friend of yours?" she asked them.
Rey nodded, and Soniee pressed a button on the terminal that opened the front door. Rey called out to him. Finn, out of breath and drenching in sweat, ran into the sitting room.
"I've been trying to comm you," he told them through deep breaths. "Did you turn the link off?"
Ben grabbed the palm-sized device from his belt. "I guess I forgot to turn that part on–"
"The Resistance base is gone," Finn blurted out.
"What?!" Ben shot to his feet. Rey was too shocked to even move.
Finn frantically swallowed, trying to control his heaving lungs. "I just got a message from Poe and Jess saying they made it out and are in Dandoran's atmosphere. I gave him our location. He should be here soon with–"
Ben darted to the hallway and out of the house, not even giving a backward glance toward the three stunned people he left behind.
Rey went to Finn. "How did the First Order find them?"
"I don't know. They didn't say."
"His mother? Luke?"
"They didn't say anything about them either."
Rey turned to her grandmother, torn between staying or going after Ben. "It's alright dear," Soniee said as she stood and slowly came to her. "You should go make sure your friends are okay. I'll be here, like always."
"But–"
"Come by tomorrow and I'll have all the holopics and recordings out from storage. I'll tell you more about your parents then." The two women hugged, holding onto each other like neither wanted to let go. But Rey finally did.
"And Reyna?" Rey glanced back before going down the hallway. "I'm proud of you for fighting with the Resistance. Your parents and Korkie would be, too."
Rey's eyes stung with unfallen tears. "Thanks."
()()()()()
A child's laughter could be heard through out the corridors just beyond the kitchen. The sound bounced off the steely walls, mixing in with the soft hum of hyperspace. Inside the main room, Poe was bouncing little Anna on his knee, playing an easily entertaining game of peek-a-boo. Children had always been drawn to him. Maybe because the tiny humans had a way of sensing an adult's inner playfulness. And Poe had enough to be considered a child in his own right.
When he wasn't in the middle of a war, that is.
But since he finished the message to Finn and the men already raided the armory, there wasn't much else to be done. And Anna had parked herself on his lap once they were all finished eating, demanding attention. Poe welcomed the reprieve from his worries and tribulations.
Other than the two kids playing, the atmosphere was still quite somber. Not much talking, mostly staring. Garreaus cradling the baby. Lizari cleaning when she should be resting. Terr picking off the varnish on the table.
Everyone knew the predicament they were in. No need to voice it.
Jess entered the room. Poe glanced at her. Anna pulled at his hands, whining. "We exit hyperspace in five minutes," Jess said to everyone before making eye contact with Poe. They hadn't talked since their argument, when Poe had been a complete ass and unlike himself.
He needed to apologize.
Jess kept her face stoic, her voice all business. "I saw on the terminal you have a message ready for Finn. I can send it as soon as we get a signal."
"It's okay." Poe lifted up Anna and gave her to Terr. The little girl stretched her arms out to him, crying out, making him feel guilty. It marveled Poe how fast a child could wrap you around their little finger.
But Poe resisted her infantile pleading. "I should get to the cockpit anyway."
Jess nodded and moved out of the way so Poe could move past her. But he halted at her side, lowering his voice. "Can we talk?"
"Sure."
They headed to the cockpit in silence. Once inside, Poe drifted to the terminal, his eye scanning the message. He'd already read over it twice, but this was his way of stalling.
Poe turned around. Jess was leaning against the back of the pilot's seat, arms crossed, eyes down.
"I'm sorry, Jess."
She didn't say anything for a long minute. Didn't look at him. She just kept her focus to the floor.
The console dinged, alarming them that the ship was exiting hyperspace. Poe went to the pilot's seat as the green and blue planet of Dandoran filled up the foreport. Jess was at the terminal, sending the message to Finn.
"We both said things we regret," Jess said softly.
Poe glanced over and frowned. Jess sat next to him. "I'm in this till the end, Poe. I wasn't in a good place after we made it out of there. I'm still not. I hate not knowing who survived and who died. But I'm a soldier. I can't just cower from my duty. Which is why I think we should go ahead with the mission General Organa gave you."
"That's…. I wasn't expecting you to say that."
"You don't think we should?"
"I absolutely think we should. The thing is, the original plan was orchestrated around having a lot more people."
"You seemed pretty determined to go do things on your own not too long ago."
"Yeah. Well, I said that in the heat of the moment. I'm not actually insane."
The terminal in front of Jess chimed. "It's from Finn," she said as she opened the message, reading it quickly. "No. Way."
"What?" he glanced over.
Pupils still on the screen, Jess quickly said, "Finn, Ren and Rey are all on Dandoran. Finn just sent a message saying that they found Rey there looking for the remnants of her family." Jess's head snapped to Poe. "She found her grandmother!"
Whoa. "What are the odds," Poe said in amazement.
"Finn sent the coordinates to the Falcon." Jess entered them into the computer. Poe followed the navigation instructions, veering the ship toward the southern part of the planet.
"Is it close to your parents place?" he asked.
"Not really. My parents are about 500 miles north of this area. I'll need to make time for a quick visit before we head off on the mission, if that's okay."
"Sure." The ship was getting close to entering the atmosphere. "But Jess… I don't know if we're gonna be able to go to Riosa."
"With an ex-stormtrooper and two Force users on our side, I'd say we could still do this. Or are you worried about asking Ren for help?"
Always. "A million credits says the guy will outright say no. And maybe break my nose for asking."
Jess chuckled, the mood in the cockpit lifting significantly after finding out their friends were nearby. "Can't take you up on that bet since I happen to agree. But we would at least have Finn and Rey's help."
"You think she would come without Ren?"
Jess shrugged. "I mean, I'm pretty sure she would. She's not the type of person who just lets her friends run off on a risky mission without her. And if Finn comes, she would want to make sure nothing happens to him."
Poe nodded. "That's… a pretty good assessment, actually."
"Thanks. It's what I'm here for."
Entering the planet, Poe kept them high in the clouds, only wanting to descend when they got closer to Finn's location. Both Jess and Poe fell silent, looking at the scenery below. Poe cleared his throat. "Look, Jess…. What happened back at the base–"
"Already forgotten. Don't worry about it."
He closed his eyes briefly. "That's the thing... I don't want to forget it. But we're in the middle of a war and getting into a relationship right now–"
"I know," she cut him off. Not harshly. More in defeat.
"Jess, I really do wish I could see where this could go between us, cause I think it would be a good –"
She groaned, covering her face with her palms before pulling them through her hair. "Please, just stop," she said more forcibly. Then she took a breath. Relaxed her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound rude, but hearing your explanation is just going to make it worse."
"Okay," Poe agreed. "We'll talk about it once this war is over."
He didn't speak anymore after that. And there was plenty he wanted to ask Jess about: Were her feelings still the same toward him? Would she want to be with him? Would she ever tell him about her time in those caves when Ren saved her from slavery? Could he just get some answers?
But it would be lousy to pressure Jess any further.
After what seemed like hours – but was realistically thirty standard minutes – they made it to the destination. Not much room left in the clearing, so Poe landed as close to the Falcon as he could. Still took out a few trees, though. Hopefully there weren't any locals nearby to complain.
A tall figure booked it out of the forest, running straight for the corvette. Jess and Poe shared a glance. "What do we tell him?" she asked.
He turned off the engines. "The truth."
Which is a whole lot of nothing.
Jess, Poe, BB-8 and the small family gathered at the docking ramp on the lower level, the blaring day sun shining into the loading area as it came down. Waiting at the bottom was Ren. Jess and Poe went to meet him.
"My mother?" was the first thing Ren asked. No greeting tacked on.
"We didn't see her. But she was with Skywalker all morning." Ren stared, expecting Poe to say more. "They got out," he added. "I know they did."
"How bad was it?"
"Bad," Jess said. "Two Star Destroyers. TIE's and drones everywhere."
"We've had a signal going out to any survivors, but we haven't heard back. They could still be in hyperspace. Or laying low."
BB-8 rolled up, whistling a hello. Ren actually gave the droid a slight smile.
Then his eyes drifted behind them. "You had your baby," Ren said, baffled.
Lizari stepped forward, giving a small grin and tilting the baby in a way so Ren could see. The newborn was fast asleep. "I did. Meet little Jorfel."
"Jorfel…" he whispered. Then he did something unexpected. With a gentle finger, Ren quickly touched the baby's chubby cheek. "Good name." Ren watched the baby a moment longer before lifting his head, surveying the rest of the group. "Is everyone okay?"
"No injuries," Garreaus replied. "Everyone's fine."
"Good." Ren nodded his head languidly, his gaze going to the forest. "Good. I'm glad you all survived."
Ren's brows knitted, his eyes glistening with what couldn't possibly be tears. But the more they welled up, the more Poe realized the guy was trying to fight against getting emotional.
"Are you doing okay?" Terr asked, saying what they were all thinking.
Ren swallowed. Rubbed his eyes between forefinger and thumb. "I– I'm sorry. I just…" The man abruptly turned and walked away, heading for the light freighter. No explanation given.
And no one called after him.
Rey and Finn broke through the thick brush of bushes and trees. Finn ran straight for them, his wide grin almost splitting his face in half. He immediately embraced Poe, then made his way to Jess before greeting the rest of the group.
But Rey was timid, keeping a distance, taking her time getting to them. But there wasn't just trepidation in her demeanor. There was concern. She would walk, pause, squint at the shrinking outline of Ren, and then continue forward. Like she couldn't quite make up her mind if she should go to him, or greet her friends.
She came to them.
"You found the runaway," Jess said as she went in for a hug. Rey stiffened before returning the gesture. "Heard you found your grandmother." The two women released each other. Jess smiled and gave Rey's arms a firm squeeze. "We're happy for you."
Rey shook her head in amazement. "You are?"
"Of course we are," Poe said, moving forward to get in on the hugging action.
"Rey. We're good," he told her. "You know that, right?"
All Rey could do was gape at him. But then with a shaky smile, she roused herself. "If you say so."
"We both say so."
As they began to swap stories of their current ordeals, Poe could see that Rey was distracted. She kept looking at the freighter. It wasn't long before she excused herself. With her gone, Finn told them of what he knew about her recent travels.
"How is she really?" Poe asked Finn as the family went back on board the corvette.
Finn shrugged, looking to the ship that Ren and Rey were both now on. "Trying to live with what she's done. I think it helps knowing we all still care about her. Having Ren around seems to balance her out."
Jess pulled her hair back in a bun to keep the breeze from tangling it. "What about Ren?" she asked.
Finn grew grave. "If the general didn't make it, it would be in all of our best interests to be as far away from that guy as possible."
Poe nodded in agreement, but was also kind of hopeful. It was nice to see reminders that Ren actually gave a shit.
Getting him to admit it, however, was going to be difficult.
()()()()()
Ren gripped the edge of the mattress and leaned into his arms. Strangely, the light in the room, the door panel, the side table, the pattern in the sheets, it all became too clear, everything around him magnifying till he winced.
He closed his eyes.
He felt like he no longer had any control over what happened inside his head. Like he left a door unlocked and now there was no holding back the flood of nightmares, visions, sharp terrible imaginings that all revolved around one possibility:
What if his mother died?
And not in the traditional sense of getting to an old age and living a good life. Ren understood that everyone met their end sooner or later.
No. What if this war killed her? The very war he helped to create?
Weirdly, he never gave his mother's mortality much thought while with the First Order. There had been a part of him that always assumed she would survive and hide out in some corner of the galaxy, living there for the rest of her life after the Resistance was disbanded.
Although, that wouldn't be much of a life, now would it. At this point, it seemed death was the only way for her to ever find serenity.
Was there an eternity of peace awaiting him at the far end of life?
Unlikely.
But Leia deserved it more than him. She wasn't good at being a mother. That he knew. But after everything with Rey – from him keeping the harsh truth about her parents, to frantically needing to find her – he'd come to see his mother's intentions more clearly.
At least when it came to keeping the matter of his grandfather a secret.
Stars. How far gone was he at this point? Rey had felt a disturbance through the Force, a signal from the cosmos telling her that something wasn't right. She could feel the distress from her master, his own uncle. But him? Nothing. He didn't get that pang of worry. Didn't even feel an underlying psychic twitch. That's how disconnected he was from his mother.
His own blood.
Ren opened his eyes and craned his head to the right. The datapad he unknowingly took from Soniee's house was just lying there. Enticing him.
He grabbed it.
Logging into the personal messaging account under the name Ben Solo, Ren's eyes unblinkingly looked at the screen. The transmission was still there, the one Leia had sent him right after the galaxy found out her deepest, most shameful secret.
He'd never viewed it. Never been tempted to.
Till now.
Ren heard footsteps from out in the hallway. Rey stopped just inside the room, the door closing behind. They both looked at each other. Ren wasn't sure what his face revealed, but he could see Rey's worry worsen over the span of seconds. So he figured he didn't appear all that together.
Ren tried to think of something to say. Not easy in a brain still reeling from todays events. "I'm sorry for leaving like that," he said. "And for ruining that moment with your grandmother."
Rey shook her head while walking to him. "It wasn't ruined." She sat down right in front of him, legs crossed. "And I'll have other moments to talk to her."
How she wasn't upset with him for cutting her time with Soniee short, Ren had no idea. No doubt she wanted to stay there all day, listening to stories of her parents from the only person who knew them.
He felt Rey squeeze his calf. "They're alive Ben."
Ren sighed. "I know. I would have felt it if she died." That he was sure of, at least.
He glanced to the end table, for if he kept eye contact with Rey, he might not be able to keep himself emotionally composed. "But… after hearing about the Resistance, I tried reaching out to sense her and I couldn't. There was nothing. And I thought her to be dead." His voice cracked. "And it would have been my fault, because I helped start this war."
There was a beat of silence before Rey asked, "You never thought that your mother might die when you joined the First Order?"
Ren blinked, looked around. "I guess… I've just always believed her to be invincible."
Rey frowned. Ren knew how ridiculous his response sounded, but it was the truth.
Rey scooted to be beside him, and glanced at the datapad in his hands. The messages were still being shown on the screen. "What's that?"
"It's the recording she sent me right after it was revealed she was Vader's child. I've never watched it."
"Do you want to watch it right now?"
…."I don't know."
Slowly, Rey's finger went to the message, like she was waiting to see if Ren would stop her from touching it.
He didn't.
Leia's face, only slightly less aged, appeared on the device. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead, her breathing sporadic, wisps of hair sticking out of the bun on top of her head. It appeared as if she was winded, like she had hurried to get this message to him. "Ben. I don't know where you and Luke are. It's been months since either of you responded to one of my messages. I don't even know if you'll get this one in time. But something happened at a Senate meeting today, and it pertains to my lineage. Your lineage," Leia added, wiping at a tear that trailed down her cheek. "I never told you where our family truly comes from because honestly, it sickens me to think about it. You know Luke and I are twins. You know I was adopted. But all those times you asked if I knew who my real parents were… I lied to you. I do know. I've known for decades. Padme Amidala, a great woman who did so much for the Republic, is my mother. My father, however… is Darth Vader. Please don't turn off this recording," she said quickly, desperately. "I need you to listen to me." Leia went on to tell the tale of Anakin Skywalker, his rise as a Jedi and his fall to a Sith. She stressed for Ben to talk to Luke, for he was the one who told her of Anakin's return just before the man died. How seeing his son tortured at the hands of Palpatine turned him back to the Light. How Vader saved his own son by killing the Emperor.
Leia moved closer to the screen, searching, as if she could see him. "Whenever I thought I had mustered up the courage to tell you the truth, fear would stop me. You've struggled so much with the Force while growing up, I just… I didn't want you to look at yourself and think that there was something inside of you that was him. There isn't, Ben. You're my son and you're a good person. Your power may come from your true bloodline, but who you are is very much up to you." She glanced down. Did another wipe at her cheeks. "I can only imagine what you think of me. Probably that I'm a liar, and you're right." She looked back up, conviction gleaming in her eyes. "But I was trying to spare you from carrying this burden of knowing, like I have. It's a horrible thing to know this. But I hope you can come to understand why I kept this from you. You are my pride, Ben. I love you and am so proud of you for overcoming so many challenges throughout your life." The recording shook. Leia was grasping onto the recorder, her face now taking up the whole screen. "Please, please. I beg you to comm me. Or come to Hosnian Prime so we can talk in person. I haven't seen you in so long and I miss you."
A sob escaped. She put a hand over her mouth to stifle it. Once composed, she straightened and looked at him softly. Like a mother would. "I hope one day you can forgive me. I love you, Ben. Forever."
The screen went black.
Ren's eyes had glazed over, a veil that separated Ren from the world around him. He couldn't look away from the datapad that was creaking in his tightening grip. Legs overlapped, he placed his elbows on his knees and leaned forward till his forehead rested against the cold screen. Rey rubbed his back, probably figuring he was about to have another one of his mental breakdowns that involved a lot of tears.
But none fell.
Ren wasn't in that kind of mood. Not right now. What he was trying to do was rein in his cancerous rage, the kind that liked to spread throughout his cells like liquid acid. Seeing Leia so open, so heartrending, so loving made him think of everything he had truly lost.
His mind. His family. His father.
Control.
It was all taken from him… because of Snoke.
The realization held him tight, curling its tendrils around his heart till he felt the physical pain blossom within his chest wall. Even when he found out Snoke had been using him for his own personal gain, Ren had still appreciated the lessons he'd been taught, the strength he'd acquired. But now, in this moment, Ren would give it all up for the chance to go back in time and never become Snoke's apprentice.
The power he accumulated was minuscule compared to the losses.
He truly saw that now.
Finn was right. He'd been a slave. And his mother saw what he couldn't see: that he'd essentially been abused. He was a victim.
I'm a victim.
But even with such an epiphany, it did not change the fact that he had done horrible, monstrous things.
The more he thought of that reality, the distance, the loss? The more he wanted to be Ben again.
And then there it was. Welling up deep in his gut.
The sorrow.
Always the sorrow, waiting patiently behind the anger. Like his body just loved for him to bathe in such an agonizing emotion.
Rey guided him onto the bed, twisting him around so he was facing away from her. At first he was confused. He couldn't hold her in this position. But then he felt her limbs wrapping around his body, and he relaxed.
Ren nestled his back against Rey's strength. And it was comforting… as he felt her lean muscles trying to envelope him, he knew that she would stand beside him for however long it took, never ducking from a challenge, pressing on with purpose and focus, going until they finally found the foundation of a calm life together.
That was just how she was made. She didn't quit. Ever.
Ren had thought himself to be the same way. But really, he had called it quits when he left that diner; when he gave into that dark void within himself. Living out the violent life he secretly yearned for.
Giving in had been him giving up.
He grabbed onto the back of her hand, weaving their fingers as he pulled her closer. Rey's breath cascaded over his neck as she nuzzled. "I love you," he said as he mentally turned off the lights.
"I love you, too." Her lips pressed against the skin by his ear. "We were always meant to love each other. I think today showed us that."
She's a Kenobi.
While such news was jarring to hear, Ren found it easy to accept. Like fate was coming full circle, giving their families a second chance to do things right. But did Rey feel the same way?
"Do you ever think… you were forced to love me?" Ren nervously asked. "That this destiny took the decision from you?"
"No," she immediately answered, her breath tickling his ear. "I had the choice whether to love you or not. As did you. And if you want my opinion, we chose right."
He brought the back of her hand to his lips, leaving behind a kiss. "Rey, I never had a choice. And I am completely all right with that."
It didn't take long for Rey's hand to wonder down… down… down beneath his trousers.
They undressed, touched, kissed, tasted. They went hard and hot and deep and fast. Then they went slow and sweet. Repeating the cycle over and over again in the afternoon and evening. Rey under him. On top of him. Ren saw her eyes every time pleasure lit her up. Held her when she came down to find her breath, collapsing into him. Every time he came, every time he tasted her did he realize just how much he was starving.
Throughout the night, he wanted all that she was.
And everything is what she gave.
()()()()()
The next morning, they all said goodbye to Terr, Garreaus, Liz, and the little ones. Before they left, Rey got to hold the baby for the first time, mesmerized by how small and cute the little thing was. So warm. So soft. And maybe for a moment, she pretended he was hers. But she didn't stay in that delusion for long. She caught Ben staring at her, face filled with pitiful pain. That was what brought her back to reality.
She tried passing the baby off to Ben, but he declined. Even looked terrified when Rey tried pushing him into his arms. He was much more comfortable giving Anna a hug, though. The little girl couldn't even wrap her arms around his shoulders, which Rey found amusing.
They all talked for a bit, agreeing that the safest place for the children to be was with Lizari's sister. And luckily, her sibling was the only other member of the family to leave the notions of the Empire behind, in turn being cast out from the clan.
"For the better," Liz had stated. Guess having a family wasn't always filled with happy memories and loving moments.
They watched and waved as the family flew off in the corvette, but Rey wasn't worried. She would see them again someday. She could feel it.
They all broke off to do their own things after that. Much to Rey's satisfaction, her and Ben spent the morning training in the newly opened space. But something was different about Ben. He was more aggressive and assertive than usual, his hard swings almost breaking her arm at one point. He calmed a little, but the anxiousness behind his steely gaze never left. His need for her to perfect certain forms or to break down his mental barriers was making her exhausted. But she never relented until she got his approval.
And she did. Quickly. But he didn't verbally praise her for the lightening speed of her learning. He just gave a nod and moved onto the next lesson.
Why was he being so quiet and hard-hitting?
Finn had been watching the two train, putting in his own two credits when he thought Rey was out of form. The glares Ben gave didn't seem to quiet him. On the contrary, Rey was pretty sure it just made Finn critique them even more.
At one point, Rey let her attention wonder. Sitting on the Falcon's ramp, Poe was leaning into Jess, speaking urgently. Jess nodded. Then shook her head. Then spoke. And now it was Poe's turn again. The body language didn't suggest anything personal. This conversation was all about business. And these days, business always pertained to the war.
Ben caught her being distracted and whacked at her wrist with the dueling cane. After that, her focus didn't waver.
Once the afternoon came, and Rey had stuffed her belly full of some sort of green grained dish Ben had whipped up, she laid in the medical alcove aboard the Falcon, not moving. There had to be over a dozen bruises forming on her body and they all pulsed along with her heartbeat, heating down to the bone.
Eyes closed, she smiled.
With all the bumps and cuts and sweat, it had been an exceptional training session. Ben's unusual behavior aside, Rey loved being pushed beyond her capacity. And she refused to heal the wounds she had acquired. They were like sharp reminders of what she accomplished.
But she did need to know what was wrong with Ben. These weird moods he gets in usually pertained to him hiding something from her. And while she believed he couldn't be harboring any more detrimental secrets from her, Rey knew him. Even if the matter was a small one, he liked to internalize the problem instead of asking for help.
Pride. One of his weaknesses.
Rey suddenly felt a presence. She opened her lids to see Ben hovering over her. "You're as sneaky as a monkey-lizard, you know that?" Rey sat up, letting her legs dangle on either side of him.
Ben moved in closer, her palms going to his chest, sliding over his contoured shoulders. She couldn't help thinking about the alone time they had yesterday... and how she wanted to do it all again. "I take it you're in a good mood," he said.
Her eyes lit up, tone cheery. "Of course I am. I feel like I made substantial progress in my training this morning. Thanks to you." She poked his pec with her forefinger. "Maybe I should start calling you master."
He gave her an amused look. "Lets stick with Ben for now. Master makes me sound old." Placing some stray hair behind her ear, he saw the bruise that was forming at the apex of her cheekbone. He winced. "I can heal this for you."
She moved his hand away. "No. I want to keep it."
Ben ran his hands up and down her sides, his eyes still on her cheek. "I'm sorry for being too rough with the training. I was pushing too hard. Maybe I should–"
"But I want you to challenge me. I can take a blow. You know that. We've talked about this."
Not entirely convinced, he said, "If that's what you want…"
"It is." Seeing his concerned face, Rey knew they would have this conversation again. Maybe another hundred times. Was it wrong for her to put Ben in such an uncomfortable position of leaving her bruised and slightly injured? Probably. But she needed to fast track her learning. And to do that, he needed to challenge her.
"What's been bothering you?" she asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You seemed anxious throughout most of the training. And it wasn't from you giving me a few bruises."
He bit at the inside of his lip, looking over her head to the padded alcove wall. His hair was still wispy and wild from being outside. She liked it better that way. Made him look more carefree. Young. Ben. Her Ben. "I didn't want to tell you yesterday, because I just found you. But you need to know something." He got serious, locking eyes with her. "I got knocked out on the Eravana and saw–"
"Hey," Poe said from the corridor, Jess and Finn beside him. Ben moved away from their intimate stance like Rey was on fire, putting a few feet of air between them. Rey looked at the intruders, annoyed. Whatever Ben had been about to say seemed important.
And she was enjoying being close to him.
Poe eyed the two of them. "You guys have a minute?"
"No," was Ben's flat response.
"Well, this is important," Poe said as he made his way to the dejarik table and sat. "So you're just gonna have to make time." Jess and Finn followed. Rey went to one of the crates closest to them. Ben stayed standing.
Of course.
Poe cleared his throat. "Do you guys recall why I couldn't go with you to help find Rey?"
"You had a mission coming up," Finn answered, intrigued.
"It was something personal General Organa wanted me to do for her. And since I've done something similar before and made it out, she wanted me to do it again."
"Do what again?"
"A prison break."
Rey's eyes widened. "She wants you to break someone out of prison? Who?"
"A close friend of hers that's on death row for murder and terrorism – which he was framed for," Poe assured them. "His execution is in a couple weeks. Jess and I mapped out a plan, but we were expecting to have a few more people on the team."
"You want us to help," Finn surmised.
Poe nodded. "I think we would have a better advantage if it wasn't just Jess and I trying to do this. And it doesn't hurt that you two"–he motioned to Rey and Ben–"are pretty good with the Force."
Ben finally joined in on the discussion. "Why do you want to do this?"
There was a pause as everyone looked from Ben to Poe. "Because I was ordered to."
Ben's eyes tapered, suspecting. "The Resistance is gone. I'd say that makes those orders obsolete."
"And I don't share your opinion. The general made it clear that this man could be detrimental to the revival of the New Republic. He was once a prominent senator."
"Have we heard of him?" Finn asked.
Still looking at Ben, Poe coolly answered, "One of you definitely has."
Rey squirmed in her seat, feeling the tension that was rising in the room. "What's his name?"
…."Ransolm Casterfo."
()()()()()
Disbelieving, Ren stayed perfectly still. If he didn't, he might not be able to control his thoughts from killing someone.
Take out the 'might'.
Everyone was staring at him, watching to see if he would do anything rash. Everyone, except Rey. She glanced from one person to the other before looking at Ren. "Sooooo… I take it you all know who this guy is. But I've never heard of him before."
Jess steepled her fingers, resting her elbows on her thighs as she turned toward Rey. "He's the senator who ousted General Organa and Luke Skywalker as being the children of Darth Vader during a senate meeting. It was all over the Republic News for months afterward."
"Leia never told me the truth about my grandfather," Ren added, his voice shockingly controlled. Rey knew these facts, but the others probably needed a reminder. "So I found out on one of the broadcasts." His focus went to Jess. "It was right after I killed all the slavers and freed you, actually."
Jess blanched. "Well… shit."
"Apt assessment."
"You seem to be taking this quite well," Poe commented, finger tapping on the lounge table as he reservedly studied him.
Ren arched his eyebrows so high, he expected them to be above his hairline. "Am I? I may not be destroying this room in a fit of rage or trying to kill you, but I wouldn't quite label me as being completely level at the moment."
"General Organa ordered me to do this. I didn't come up with it on my own."
"The Resistance is gone," Ren argued. "No need to follow up on those orders."
"The Resistance took a hard hit, but it will never be gone," Poe countered. "Because there are good, strong people in this galaxy that will always rebel against tyranny."
Ren gave a wry smile. "What lovely beliefs."
"You act as if you don't give a damn."
Grin fading, Ren said, "I don't."
"Bantha shit," Poe snapped. "You give so many damns, they're visible from space. Or was I hallucinating your reaction when I told you we didn't know what happened to you mother?" Ren's jaw clenched. Poe didn't back down. "You walk around talking about how the ideals of the Republic are flawed and corrupt, like you're somehow able to get a clearer picture than the rest of us from that noble perch you've been living on. If that's what you truly believe, than I'll probably never change your mind. But you love your mother. It was obvious from your reaction. And if you have any sense of loyalty at all, it should be to her and to what she fights for. Don't lie to yourself and say you don't care. You do."
Jess and Finn were clearly uncomfortable, both heads swiveling in any direction that didn't take their eyes to either of the men. Rey, however, was glaring at Poe. "Poe–"
Ren cut her off. He didn't want her defending him. "Thanks for telling me what I'm thinking, but I should be able to handle my own thoughts from here on out."
Poe huffed. "Are you gonna help me or not?"
"Not."
"I will," Finn spoke up.
"You know I'm already in," Jess added.
Rey gazed at the floor, chewing on her inner cheek, looking to be conflicted. But Ren knew what she was going to do. These were her friends. And where Finn went, Rey followed.
She inhaled. Exhaled. Looked to Poe. "I'll come, too."
Suddenly, everyone's attention was back on him. "What are you all looking at me for?"
"Is it okay with you that she comes?" Poe asked.
"Do I look like her keeper? Or are you hoping that if she goes, I'll follow?"
"The latter."
He gazed at Rey for a lengthy moment. She was waiting for him to answer, a mixture of guilt and determination showcased on her face. "Rey can make up her own mind," he finally said. Ren walked to the main corridor, needing to take his leave of the group. "If she wants to go, I won't stop her," he added before walking down the hallway.
Exiting off the loading ramp, the heat of the afternoon sun greeted his pale face, his eyes squinting from the invasive light. He went into the trees, finding the comforting shade and concealment he craved.
There wasn't just anger being pumped through his heart, but a worry that made him squirm. What if something happened to Rey while he stayed behind? What if it was something he could prevent?
His body tingled with fear. Closing his eyes for a moment, he wondered in that temporary darkness what it would feel like – death. Except you couldn't really feel death. Even with him on Lothal, there hadn't been a feeling associated with it. No one could really describe it, because you just couldn't.
But him and Rey were different.
They would experience each other's passing. The loss.
So he should go to make sure nothing happened to her.
But… she was going to help save him. That senator. The man Ren reviled. He didn't want to save Casterfo from his execution.
But Rey…
He groaned. These thoughts all contradicted each other. An endless circle of buts or these or that's that brought him to zero conclusions. What was more precious to him: his antipathy, or Rey?
Twigs snapped and leaves crunched from the footsteps approaching him. Ren knew who it was. He felt her coming to him minutes ago. "Are you really fine with me helping them?" Rey asked softly.
He turned around, hands in pockets. "If I told you no, would you stay?" Rey remained silent. "I thought not. When you make up your mind, even I have a hard time talking you out of doing something. And Finn's going, which sealed the deal."
Her brows lowered, sad and puzzled. "You aren't worried for me?"
That caught him off guard for a moment.
Ren went to her and grasped onto her strong arms, his head bending down so she didn't have to crane hers so far up. "Of course I'm worried for you? Do you think I'm not?"
"Didn't seem like it back there."
"Rey, I don't want you to go do something I deem reckless. But you won't not go. So what am I supposed to do?"
"Come with us."
He dropped his arms. Took a step back. "I can't."
"You won't," she corrected. "Ben, we're stronger when we're together."
Ren started to pace from his growing frustration, running his hands through his hair. Rey watched. Waiting. "I've hated my fair share of people throughout my life," Ren explained as he walked back and forth. "Probably more than what's deemed 'fair share'. But Casterfo… I deeply and sincerely despise that man. He revealed my mother in the most political way of humiliating and ruining her for his own personal gain. And I just can't forget how I found out the truth. Seeing that broadcast made me snap. Made me…" His voice stopped, as well as his legs.
Rey came to him. "I understand your anger. And I'm sorry you have it. But even if I didn't go, would you seriously be fine with your friends going out and doing this without you?"
Friends.
That was a potent word. And quite the stretch.
But putting aside the possibility of friendships, in the end, Ren just couldn't let Rey go somewhere without him.
"I'll stay with the ship and get you guys once you're done," he compromised. More so with himself. He would be close enough to help her if needed, but far enough away to not have to interact with Casterfo. Maybe he could make it so he wouldn't even have to see the guy.
Rey palmed his cheek and got on her toes to give him a quick kiss. "That'll be enough."
He sure hoped so.
A/N
There you go folks! Another chapter down. Rey's lineage has been revealed. Sorry if it's been such a roller coaster. But it's finally out there. I've always wanted her to be a Kenobi because I find it extremely poetic. Hope you all feel the same.
And now we have Casterfo coming into the mix soon! Who's excited? I love Bloodline and I love his character. So I had to bring him into this.
Anyway, if you have time, leave a review! They are so appreciated, you have no idea. May the force be with you!