Chapter 47

Bare back resting against the cold wall, legs bent up toward his chest and elbows resting on his knees, Ren held the datapad between his fingers, hoping that Rey would respond to him. But it'd been hours, and he hadn't received a reply.

He scanned the pieces of broken furniture, the scorch marks on the walls, and the metal bits that were scattered across the floor of his room. The only thing still intact was his bed, and that was only because he collapsed before getting to it. His rage had taken over when Rey closed him off from her, his whirlwind of anger taking over his actions and claiming his lightsaber. But he wasn't upset with Rey; all his ire was pointed inward.

He inhaled deeply.

Sometimes, everything had a way of becoming really simple, as if everything shifted in one single moment. You're looking in on your own journey, no longer walking along and oblivious as to where you were going. Your mistakes were etched into the road you walked on, your regret written on the signs along the way, and everything you lost formed into wisps of smoke in the air, burning its way down to your lungs.

For Ren, that moment came when she hid herself from him after their conversation. It was abrupt, not being able to feel the remnants of her pain anymore. But he'd sensed her intention right before she'd done it – and that was that she needed to leave. He sat in disbelief, gathering his thoughts before finding a datapad. Even though he told her that she could go, a small part of him still hoped that what he wrote would bring her back to him. But soon after sending the message, he felt her completely disappear. Not like in the physical way, even though he was sure she had done that too, probably going to some obscure planet in the Outer Rim. No, it was in the way he could no longer find their connection in his mind. It was there, somewhere, but somehow she'd figured out how to mask it to where it eluded him. But the message was clear: Rey didn't want to be found.

She was done with him. And he couldn't help feeling like a fool for pouring his heart out to her in that message.

Darkness pinged his mind, like it was trying to get through to him. This was the fifth time over the last couple of hours he felt it. He had an idea as to who it was, but he ignored it.

A knock came at his door.

"Ben?" Leia called out, voice muffled. "I need to speak with you. It's about–" Ren opened the door using the Force, watching as Leia's eyes widened upon stepping further into the disaster that was his room. She composed herself when she saw him sitting on the floor near the corner. "Rey left Arkanis. Finn commed me and told me she stole a ship to get off planet."

The words fell out of Leia's mouth like a vapor, but it hit his gut like shrapnel. His insides tore, his face paled, but he didn't move. He went back to staring at the datapad.

"You don't seem surprised by this," Leia observed as she crept closer to him, her movements cautious. "Ben, we need to find Rey–"

"Why?"

Leia stopped, posture stiffening. "What do you mean why?"

Through his unkempt hair, he pegged her with a hard stare. "I mean she left me. Why should I go looking for her?" The bitterness in his voice surprised even him. What emotion was he starting to feel? Resentment?

Kneeling in front of him, Leia placed her hand on his knee. "She didn't leave you. She... she..."

"She left me," he refuted through a twisted mouth. "Stop trying to find a different meaning as to why she did what she did."

"Rey wouldn't leave you," she articulated, reaching out to him. "Not after everything you two have been–"

He swatted her hand away. "I lied to her. I knew her grandfather was on this ship and I didn't tell her."

Leia caught her breath. "Korkie Kryze is here?"

"Was. He left some time ago." Ren shook his head, looking to the ceiling as he felt a tear escape the corner of his eye. Annoyingly, he wiped it away. "I kept the truth from her, because I was so angry over the fact she was going behind my back and having secret training sessions with Kayani. I lied to her so I could punish her for doing that to me." And now he wanted his mother to affirm just how awful of a person he was.

But she didn't. "Have you told her this?"

"Why do you think she's gone?"

Gently, she shook his leg. "She isn't gone. Ben, you've always been a very smart boy, but if you think that girl – who has been nothing but devoted to you – has actually left you, then you're an idiot."

He glanced at her. "Excuse me?"

"Your nihilism has always prevented you from seeing the good in people; making you jump to the worst conclusions. But Rey wouldn't just leave you."

"She told me she hated me. And she meant it."

Leia sighed as she tried to make him understand. "Maybe in that moment, yes, she did mean it. But you can only ever truly hate someone you love. And she still loves you."

He held her intent stare before turning his head to the side. "Please, just leave me alone," he whispered.

Leia wanted to say more as she looked at her son with pity. Instead, she stood and adjusted her night robes, gazing down at him. "What do I tell Finn?"

"Whatever you want."

Leia left quietly.

As time went on like time always did, Ren became more aware of the pounding in his head then how dry his throat had become. With shaking hands, he lowered the datapad onto the floor and continued to just sit there, accepting that Rey wasn't going to respond to him.

Breathing in.

Breathing out.

Now, it all felt final. It was overwhelming to rifle through the mixing pot that were his emotions, but one he didn't expect to find was jealousy. He envied Rey for being able to walk away from not only him, but literally everyone and everything she had. Even though she detested being alone, she could survive it. That's who she was. A survivor.

But for Ren, no, he couldn't go back to living like that. Some still-functioning part of his delirious mind understood that the best he could hope to accomplish was to immerse himself in his role as Supreme Commander, trying to forget the scavenger girl who had become a part of the bedrock of his life.

He never thought it was possible to deeply hate and truly love someone at the same time. Would... would she find someone to be with? Would she love another man?

It would've been kinder for Rey to have just killed him.

Once on his feet, the room swayed, causing him to put a hand out to the wall for balance. His palm slipped, sending him to his knees, the impact vibrating his bones. The room swirled before becoming stationary, and he used the framing of his bed to help lift him all the way up.

From there, he shuffled into the shower, found some clothes, and made himself look presentable. Eyes cold and face immobile, he headed to the bridge. Bre was there, giving him a report on what had been happening during his absence. Nothing really noteworthy.

He went to stand before the viewing glass, peering out to the lifeless planet of Jakku.

Ren turned and ordered the fleet to be moved to the first place that came to his mind – Chandrila. He never wanted to see the sights of Jakku again.

With each stride along the officer's platform, his mind became more clear, more resolute, as if the distance between him and Rey was becoming easier to bear the more he buried himself in his duties. There was an emotional chasm on the part of his psyche Rey once occupied, and he entombed his memories of her there behind a thick wall of ice.

Maybe he could do this; maybe he was strong enough to keep going. With every step he felt more in charge, more in command of his own thoughts and body. But then he heard her name being whispered by one of the crewmen, and he knew he was shattered into fragments more numerous than the stars. He thought about finding Rey and pleading on his hands and knees that his life was meaningless without her, that he could find a way to erase his mistakes and start anew.

No. She left you. She doesn't want you anymore, his heart argued, feeling the sting of betrayal. That kind of duplicity didn't ebb, it multiplied.

But he found himself searching for their connection anyway, because he was weak and selfish and couldn't fathom going on without her. During the search for that elusive thread, the only thing he found was that same darkness from earlier, waiting to be answered.

Was... was that really Snoke trying to reach out to him? To find him?

"You're moving the fleet?" A voice came from behind. Ren whirled around to see Finn striding up to him, flanked by Skywalker and his mother. They all wore the same sour expressions on their faces.

"There's no reason for us to stay near Jakku."

"What about Rey?" Finn asked, voice already at a level that was drawing everyone's attention. "Why the hell are you standing there and doing nothing to find her?"

Ren rounded his jaw as he motioned for the conversation to be taken elsewhere. He led them into the first private room he could find, relieved to see that it was currently unoccupied. It was a standard issue officer's quarters, having the bare minimum of a desk, bed, and dresser, everything looking immaculate and clean.

He rounded on Finn once the door was closed. "She left me. I'm giving her the courtesy of staying away."

Liar. You were just trying to find her.

Finn threw out his hands, becoming animated with frustration. "Are you kidding me? Leaving you was the farthest thing from her mind."

"How do you know that?" Luke asked.

"Because she told me so mere hours before leaving the planet. Hell, she even told me that she wanted to accept your proposal," he pointed at Ren, "but that there was something she needed to finish first. Does any of that sound like someone who wants to disappear?"

No one spoke, especially not Ren. His eyes lost focus as he started to seriously consider the possibility... that he was wrong. And if he was wrong, he'd just wasted a massive amount of time.

"You proposed to her?" his mother spoke up, but he didn't answer.

His attention was solely on Finn. "What did she need to finish?"

"No idea. She didn't say. But..."

"But what?"

Finn cleared his throat, glancing at each of them as he shifted his weight to his other leg. "Apparently, Obi-Wan Kenobi visited her while you were unconscious on Jakku. He told her that when the time comes... she needed to let you go. She was quite against the idea, and dead set on never letting that happen."

Not much could stun all three Skywalker descendants into synchronized silence, but here they were, speechless.

Ren blinked, too dazed to make sense of what Finn just said. His first thought was him questioning why Rey never told him this. His second thought was that Rey really had no intention of leaving him.

"Okay," Luke's voice broke through the still atmosphere as he stroked his beard. "Okay, we need to find Rey as quickly as possible. Ben, can you sense her through your bond?"

But Ren wasn't really listening.

What the hell was Rey doing?

And then he remembered the message he sent her. Why hadn't she replied back or at least tried making contact to assure him that his assumptions were incorrect? He'd sent her that message hours ago. She would've immediately read it when seeing it was from him.

Ren's breathing hitched as if he'd taken a blaster bolt to the gut.

Something must have happened to her.

"Ben?"

He blinked himself out of his daze, turning towards his uncle. "I... I can't find it. I can feel that the connection is still there, but it's hiding from me somehow."

Finn frowned. "Can Rey do that?"

Ren ran both hands through his hair, his anxiety rising exponentially. "I didn't even know that was possible, so I have no idea how Rey–"

Darkness suddenly touched Ren's mind, more prominent and demanding than before. It slinked along his mental barrier, it tendrils trying to find a weakness. Snoke was being persistent, not even trying to be subtle anymore.

Ren and Luke exchanged a glance. Leia's eyes went wide. "What was that?" she whispered, having sensed it. He didn't reply, nor did he need to. Ren could tell by the way Leia's cheeks lost all color that she knew exactly what that was.

Luke crossed his arms over his chest. "What does he want?"

Ren shook his head. "I don't know. He's been trying to get through my defenses for a while now."

"Sorry," Finn interjected, "but who's doing what now?"

"Snoke has been trying to contact me," Ren said flatly as he turned away from the group, going to stand by the desk. He leaned against it, his unease making his hands slightly shake and his skin to warm.

Leia neared him. "Can he communicate with you like you can with Rey?"

"Not as clear, no. It's more like whispers and feelings, sometimes images."

"Ignore him."

Ren rubbed his lips together. "I don't think I should."

Gripping his arm, Leia made him look at her. "You open yourself up to him, and who the hell knows what he'll do to you."

"He wants me alive; he won't kill me."

"He can make you wish that he did."

Ren glanced back to Luke, who gave him a curt nod. Leia gaped at her brother's response. "He can't!" she yelled, her eyes pleading at her son. "Ben, you–"

But before she could finish, Ben dropped his defenses, allowing the shadow to touch his mind. His first response was to shiver with pleasure, to relish the kind of power that only came from the purification of the dark side. He wanted it still, even after all this time. Shame poured into him, for he knew that he shouldn't find the darkness so appealing.

Feelings came first, taunting, demanding, belittling him. It sickened him that his reaction was to beg his master for forgiveness, that he felt compelled to prove himself worthy to be his apprentice. Guidance and power – that was all Ren wanted, even though he knew what Snoke truly wanted from him. Images were shown next: a planet covered in red sand, an ancient Sith temple, and then Rey, hovering in the air, unconscious.

Snoke vanished, and Ren's vision focused back on the room. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, not able to recall how he got there. But it didn't matter. Whether standing or sitting, he would still be trembling.

He kept staring at the floor as the others huddled around him, studying him, but his emotions still showed through despite the heavy scrutiny. His eyes washed with the kind of tears that only came when you broke in ways that were irreparable. He was going to go after her; there was no question about that. But he knew only one of them would make it out.

"Snoke has her, doesn't he?" Luke whispered solemnly.

Ren wiped at his face as he nodded, hearing the air leave Finn's lungs in one fluid heave.

Ren lifted his gaze to the man, feeling anger rise into his sallow cheeks. "I gave you one job. One. Fucking. Job. A rather simple one, actually. And you," he went to his feet to stand before his uncle. "What have you been teaching Rey this whole time? That she should endanger her life for no fucking point? That good always triumphs over evil, and everything will just miraculously work out in the end?"

Luke held his ground and answered Ren with annoyed silence. The door opened then, a female Lieutenant taking two steps into the room before backtracking and hurrying away.

Finn put some distance between him and Ren. "You know as well as I do that babysitting Rey is anything but simple," he said from across the small room. "She does what she wants."

And that right there was the problem. Rey always thought she could do things on her own. Ren both admired and despised that about her. And right now, he was leaning more on the spectrum that was colored with derision.

"She's alive?" Luke inquired, face tight.

"For now."

"Why hasn't he killed her?"

"He's hoping I'll try to rescue her, because it's me he really wants."

Leia tried to sound sympathetic. "Ben–"

He lifted a finger to his mother. "If you even try to tell me not to go after her, then you can leave the fucking room, because I won't be able to live with myself knowing I could've done something to save her."

Leia snapped her mouth shut, but her eye's showed her ire.

"Where are they?"

"Moraband."

Luke addressed Finn in a curt tone. "Comm down to the hangar and have them prepare the Falcon. We leave in ten minutes." Finn nodded and ran from the chambers.

Pushing a hand through his hair, Ren said, "Snoke wants me to come alone.

"That's not going to happen," Luke countered, before rounding on Leia. "And Leia, you aren't coming."

"But–"

"You're not getting on that ship as long as I'm on it."

She glared at the two men before stomping out into the hallway, not even glancing back at them. It was a little surprising she didn't offer Ren a goodbye or say something to the affect that he should be careful. He might never see her again, and while he wanted them to part on good terms, Rey was more important at the moment.

Luke and Ren hurried down to the hangar, both silent the entire way. A group was huddled next to the Falcon: Finn, Caliiya, Chewie, Casterfo, and Harter Kalonia. Ren was surprised by his adverse reaction upon seeing the doctor; he walked right up to her and gave her a gripping hug. She patted him on the back as she told him she was coming with them. Arguing ensued, but Harter was firm in the belief that they needed someone with medical training on the mission. Ren couldn't argue against that, so he made her promise that she would stay with the ship while they went to get Rey.

Once in hyperspace, Ren remained in the cockpit. Lounging in the pilot's chair. With his boots propped up on the control panel, he watched the blue and white swirls of hyperspace, as if viewing the dimensional journey would somehow get him to Moraband faster. He knew it wouldn't, but he needed this for his sanity. He reached out to Rey again, finding nothing. It was now a compulsive habit, him searching for their connection every thirty seconds.

His gaze shifted to Rey's pyro flower on top of the control panel, it's soil and roots safely within the confines of a small, round pot. Ren had gingerly given it a new home after finding it still wilting upon the ship's floor, knowing Rey wouldn't have wanted it to die. He'd even given it some of his strength, it's soft petals stiffening and becoming vibrant once again.

Ren sensed Luke entering the cockpit. "Spare me a lecture."

The Jedi Master took up residence in the co-pilot's seat, angling himself so he faced his nephew. "Why would I lecture you?"

"You always do. Or did," Ren amended. "I don't need you laying on me all that Jedi bantha shit about controlling my emotions."

"I wasn't going to. I came to tell you that no matter what happens, you're not to get near Snoke." Ren ground his molars, temples protruding. Luke listed forward, tone stern. "I mean it, Ben. If he gets one look at you, it's over."

"I can't let Rey die."

"She won't. I'll get her out of there. I just need you to keep anyone from trying to aid Snoke while I dispose of him." Ren mulled the plan over in his head, thinking that it could possibly work. But did Luke have enough power to go up against Snoke? Ren was too afraid to ask.

The men fell into a tolerant silence, listening to the soft hum of hyperspace. It didn't last as long as Ren had hoped.

"So..." Luke breathed out. "You asked Rey to marry you?"

"Afraid your token apprentice will break more of the rules?" Ren smugly asked.

"There are no more rules."

"Just say it already," Ren bit out. "Say that the Jedi Order is no more because of me. Remind me how I murdered my own peers to achieve it."

"I think you remind yourself of that enough." Luke shifted in the chair, voice getting softer. Ren still didn't look at him. "You know, I've watched you from a distance these last couple of months, observing if your efforts have been genuine or not."

"And?"

"I believe they are. The dark side still lingers within you, and it always will. But your actions have made me see that you're starting to take your first steps toward atonement." Luke paused, inhaling. "And because of that, I can forgive you for what you've done in the past."

Ren grimaced, his stomach tying in knots and making him nauseous. "I don't deserve forgiveness. I don't deserve redemption."

From his periphery, he saw Luke shrug. "The thing about redemption is, it's reserved specifically for those who don't deserve it, because if you did, there would be no need for you to be saved in the first place." Ren wanted to groan. He hated when his uncle equivocated philosophically, and at the same time, was right. "And... forgiving you also helps me. I need to let go of the anger I've harbored against you."

Ren crossed his arms and felt trapped inside the small cockpit, his expression looking like a prisoner who'd just gotten the news that he would be shot at dawn.

Luke broke through the quiet as he whispered, "Ben... I should've listened to you about freeing those slaves." Ren tensed. "I was so caught up in trying to keep the Jedi name untainted, that I was afraid to actually act like a Jedi and help people. I failed you that day, and I am truly sorry."

Ren tightened his arms around himself, giving hyperspace a hurt-but-defiant stare.

Luke waited a few moments to see if his nephew would say anything, maybe yell at him. But Ren kept his mouth shut. "You shouldn't be too hard on Rey," the Jedi Master added. "Her intentions of reforming the Jedi Order are in the right place."

"Do you even want to bring the Order back?" Ren suddenly said, tone dry. "Because Rey was the one arguing for it, while you remained silent."

Luke rubbed at his chin, settling back into the chair, mirroring Ren and gazing out the viewport. "Seeing Rey talk about what she wants to do and seeing her determination, it reminds me how young she actually is. And I don't mean that in a bad way," Luke added quickly. "I just remember when I was that young, thinking that I could take on the galaxy and change things." Ren could hear the smile in his voice fading. "I almost want to hide her from the cruelty of reality so she isn't disappointed. But I do think something should rise from the ashes of the old Order. Force sensitives need somewhere to go."

"All usage of the Force will be–"

"Illegal, and you'd be a fool if you actually enforced that. Do you remember how hard it was to control your abilities while growing up? Imagine if you really had nowhere to turn to for help."

"I never wanted to be a Jedi," Ren muttered softly. "I never wanted to go to the academy."

Luke made a thoughtful face. "I know, but that doesn't change the fact that you have Skywalker blood running through your veins."

And that was where his curse began, with what was in his blood and the lineage his family had tried to keep from him.

The atmosphere shifted, the previous awkwardness now gone and replaced with a somber ambiance. Ren almost felt years younger, sitting in the cockpit of a ship, his uncle telling him which star system they were visiting next.

"You know..." Ren said lower than a whisper, lips barely moving. "In many ways, you were more of a father to me than Han ever was."

Luke glanced away. Ren could sense the man trying to keep his emotions in check. "I always thought it cruel how Han treated you. But some people are incapable of understanding those who have the Force." Luke sighed. "Han ran from you because he was scared, not because he didn't love you. Still, your parents and I are just as responsible for you turning to Snoke than he is."

"Don't." Ren squeezed his eyes shut. "The choices I've made are mine and mine alone. I'm not a victim."

"You really think so? I'm not excusing the things you've done. It's just... you were just a child whose father wasn't there, had a mother who ignored you, and an uncle who denied that the dark side was growing in you – all the while Snoke was slowly manipulating you. I could even sense it during your training, but I didn't want to deal with it." Voice cracking, Luke cleared his throat. "I kept telling myself that we all have some darkness inside us, and that you would be fine. But I should've seen... I should've known."

The nav controls beeped, alarming them they were about to drop out of hyperspace. Luke jumped out of his chair as if the thing were on fire. "I'll tell the others we're here."

"Luke?" Ren twisted his body so he could see his uncle. The man stopped and glanced over his shoulder. Ren took a deep breath, knowing he needed to just come out and say it. "I'm sorry."

The corner of Luke's lip curled up, and then he left.

The drop from hyperspace left them just outside of Moraband, the sensors scanning to make sure they had a clean approach. It hadn't been Ren's intention to make some sort of amends with Luke, but he found some peace knowing that he had. Now he could die knowing he'd somewhat made things right with his family. Except, he wished Leia was there.

He gazed at the scarlet planet, wishing he had told his mother goodbye.

()()()()()

Rey plopped her heavy rucksack onto the ottoman at the end of the bed before letting her body fall on top of the plush comforter. She grabbed one end and rolled, wrapping herself in the confines of its softness. Her body bounced slightly as something heavy fell onto the bed next to her.

"Rough day?"

She wiggled so she was face to face with Ben, both of them lying on their sides. Tenderly, he brushed a stray hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. "Sometimes I wonder why I ever wanted to open a school for Force users," Rey admitted.

"Because you understood that they needed someone to help them, just as you did." He draped his arm over her, pulling her close.

"Yeah... I just hate the whole disciplining part."

"Still having problems with that one student?"

"Always and forever," she quipped. "How was your day?"

He shrugged as much as he could while laying next to her. "I think I've hit the limit for how long someone can competently study. I'll read something, but not even remember what it is I read."

"Whoa," Rey said, acting dramatically shocked. "That's a first for you. I mean, it happens to us lowly citizens, but you?" She gasped. "Never. You're too superior for that." He nudged her with his knee, lips quivering as he fought back a smile. She gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Don't you have an exam coming up?"

"Next week."

So soon? "When do you have to leave?"

"The day before."

She groaned as she rolled onto her back, gazing at the ceiling. "I'm counting down the days till you get your certification and we no longer have to be separated all the time."

"We see each other through the bond."

"It's not the same."

Ren appeared above her, his raven hair framing his angular face. "I know. Just a few more months and then I'll work with Harter to get everything transferred over to my name." His plump lips stretched into a smile. "You excited for tonight?"

"Tonight?"

"Our anniversary."

"Right. Our anniversary." Rey's forehead creased. "I can't believe I forgot."

"You've had a lot on your mind, so I'll forgive you this once." He gave her a lingering kiss before getting off the bed and heading toward the refresher. "I'm going to take a shower. My mother should be by soon to help you get ready."

"Ready?"

Ben stopped and slowly turned, biting his lip in a way that made him appear guilty. "She wants you to try on some dresses that once belonged to my grandmother." He saw her panicked expression. "Just indulge her. You don't have to wear any of them if you don't want to."

Right. She could say no, but Rey knew she wouldn't.

While Ben was in the shower, she walked around their room, looking at the abstract art on the walls, the small statues on the side table, and then her desk in the corner. There were drawings on what she envisioned the expansion of the school to look like. Ben had let her use his calligraphy set and his paper acquired from a rare oak tree so she could show the builders exactly what she wanted.

Rey thought to when she founded the school, and then frowned. She couldn't find that specific memory. And as she tried to think further back into the past, her thoughts started to become hazy.

She walked into the refresher, seeing Ben's fuzzy outline through the steamy glass. "Hey, Ben? What happened to Snoke?"

"Snoke?" his muffled voice said in surprise. "You killed him, remember?"

Yes... yes, she had killed him.

"And... were there a lot of people at our wedding?"

"It was a small ceremony. Just family and friends."

Of course it was. Her and Ben abhorred large crowds.

"And how long have we been married?"

"Seven years." He slid the foggy door open, enough to pop his head out. He slicked his wet hair back, eyeing her up and down. "Are you okay? You should know the answers to these questions."

"Yeah." She shrugged, playing it off as if she was just messing with him. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just wanted to make sure you remember."

Leia came shortly after that, pampering her and showing off the gowns that were way too extravagant for Rey to ever wear. But she couldn't disappoint her mother-in-law. So she settled on the one that reminded her of summer, the flower embellishments complimenting the flowy yellow fabric beautifully and the bodice cinching in her waist to grant her the appearance of hips. Rey didn't wear dresses often, but even she had to admit, she looked stunning in this one.

The night stretched on as Ben took her to an exquisite restaurant, followed by a play at one of the opera houses. But she kept glancing behind her, as if she were missing something.

The evening together ended at their home, Ben pouncing on her and kissing her till it was hard to catch her breath. "Ben?"

"Hmmm..." he responded as he nibbled against her neck, guiding them to their room.

In the distance, something rumbled. A blast? Was there a quarry nearby?

"How did I kill Snoke?"

Ben stilled, and then drew back, frowning down at her. "Can we not talk about him tonight?"

"But... I don't remember," she confessed, her head starting to hurt. She left his embrace, rubbing at her temples. "How did you get into medical school?"

"I tested in," he answered simply. "Have you hit your head recently?" He stretched his hand out to her, but she dodged it as she put more distance between them.

"No." She shook her head slowly, heart beat now racing, nearly exploding. "No, after everything you've done, you'd never be allowed to go to a university."

"Rey," Ben said cautiously. "You're scaring me."

Wheezing out heavy breaths, her mouth went dry. Something wasn't right. This didn't feel like her life. "I need to get out of here."

She spun around, but Ben caught her arm. "Don't leave."

And that was when she remembered the message Ben had sent her, the one where he believed she had abandoned him. Months of memories flooded into her mind's eye, revealing to her the one thing she's known all along.

"This isn't real," she muttered, horrified.

This was a world of fantasy. Everything Rey could see around her looked so real, so material, so specific, but it lacked substance. Heart.

She ran to their room and locked the door, keeping it secure so Ben couldn't open it. He banged at the barrier, begging her to let him inside. She sank to her knees, palms covering her ears as she rocked back and forth. The atmosphere became dense and heavy as Rey tuned him out. Lies – that's all this place was. As much as she wanted this life to be true, for the fragments of her desires to manifest, Rey's conscience wouldn't let her remain in denial.

Deception swirled around her, suffocating, the empty shapes stealing her breath and torturing her the more she fought against it.

She had no idea how to get out of the illusion. Ben had told her once about finding a weakness in the threads that bound her there, but how did she do that against something this extensive? Rey didn't know. So that left her with one alternative: power. Deep within herself, she felt for Kayani's strength, trying to take as much as she could, wishing the ghost would just talk to her. But even as Rey siphoned more and more, Kayani remained quiet, her voice somehow blocked from Rey's thoughts.

Again, Rey rammed against the barrier that held her there, but the extra boost of strength still wasn't enough.

She clawed through her mind, desperate to find the connection with Ben. It was there, just out of her grasp.

So close, she was so close.

It was his softness she seeked, the cradle for her head and her heart. She personified the love she felt for him, embodied it, embraced it. The power that came with it was pure, sincere, filling her soul with a strength she'd never known as it shined brighter than any known star, it's blast more cosmic and radiant than a supernova.

Like under intense pressure, the opening to the bond popped, her power surging across their tether as she desired nothing else but to feel Ben again.

Rey fell onto the stone floor, legs giving out beneath her as her back hit the ground, the impact knocking the air from her lungs. She gasped and gulped down the much needed oxygen, the coolness of the air tickling the back of her throat as she heard the distant noises of blaster fire. The cavern vibrated from the shock wave of a far off blast, and that was when Rey realized she'd gotten out.

She was free.

And there was a battle going on somewhere in the temple.

Rey sprang to her feet, readying herself for whatever Snoke had planned next. To her surprise, he was leaning against the altar, out of breath, glaring at her as if she'd just struck him with a formidable blow. Maybe she had. And that made her think that she had a fighting chance of getting out of there.

Movement caught Snoke's and Rey's attention, both of their heads snapping to the side to find it.

There, kneeling on his knees, arms outstretched and palms hovering above the ground, was Ben. His gloved hands swiped through the air, as if searching for something he'd been holding onto.

He looked up, locking eyes with Rey, gazing at her through disheveled hair and gushing tears. Then, slowly, his stare swept over to the altar, eyes widening upon seeing his former master.

Somehow, in her effort of reaching out to Ben for help, she had summoned him to her. Rey had always believed that such a thing as particle transportation was impossible, that it was all just a bunch of myths and theories concocted by those who wished for such an ability. But it didn't matter how many times Rey kept telling herself that it was ridiculous. It didn't change the fact that Ben was still there. In the flesh.

Because of her.

The noise of blaster shots and fighting disappeared, leaving only one sound to be heard; the sound of her own pulse throbbing in her ears. And in those quiet seconds of disbelief, watching as Ben tensed with bewilderment and shock, a single word slipped between her lips, filled with all the horror of what she'd just unknowingly done.

"No..."

Just as time seemed to have slowed, it viciously accelerated, as if catching up on the moments it had lost.

Light blared in Rey's eyes. Her body convulsed, her muscles seized, throat closing shut and teeth clenched so hard they were on the verge of cracking. And then it ceased and she was on the ground, not able to focus as her vision blurred and her hearing dampened. Ben appeared over her, hoisting her to her feet, dragging her to the exit on the other side while saying something she couldn't comprehend.

She caught a glimpse of Snoke on the floor, dazed, trying to sit upright.

Suddenly, she was being propelled back. Then she stopped midair before flying forward, her body soaring through a corridor and down a long and narrow hallway. She skidded along the stone floor, the shock ricocheting across her skeleton.

"Run, Rey!" Ben's voice echoed down the corridor. "Run!"

She groaned and stumbled as she levered herself up, her breathing erratic, deep, until finally shallow. Everything was shifting as she stumbled down the hall, light draining away till there was barely even enough for shadows.

What was she doing?

Rey's mind was starting to fail. She couldn't formulate a coherent thought. One foot went in front of the other as she used the wall to steady herself. With each inhale, she smelled a mixture of burnt hair and sweat.

Where was she going?

There was noise in the distance, but she couldn't decipher what it was.

Ben.

Ben was back there.

She couldn't leave him.

Rey turned around, but all she saw was darkness. How far had she walked? She didn't even remember making any turns.

Thousands of needles scrapped across her brain.

Rey fell. Curled into a ball. She saw flashes of memories. Ben's memories. Things that he's learned. Knowledge. His knowledge – it was all being compacted into her already fractured mind, pushing her beyond her own limits. The pressure choked the breath from her lungs, her body dry heaving as if it could physically dispel such an intrusion from her own psyche.

Then it stopped.

Quiet.

Rey blinked.

Black mists swirled at the edges of her mind, enticing her into its open arms. She wanted it to take her, to escape what was happening and fall into its slumber. And if fate had any mercy, it would let her die there. Alone. Because now, she was alone.

Kayani was silent.

Her mind was in shambles.

And she couldn't sense Ben anymore.

She closed her eyes and was terrified.

A/N

Sooooooooooo, yeah. Things aren't looking too great. I have a few pages of the next chapter written, and I'm planning on showing a Finn pov and Ben pov of them infiltrating the temple that leads up to Ben being pulled into the cavern. There's also a reason why Ben was kneeling and crying when Rey brought him to her. Dun dun dun!

The whole concept of the Force bond is so interesting, especially after I watched TLJ. I always had it planned that Rey would summon Ben to her in a moment of panic, but in the movie, it's interesting how Ben wiped his face and and had water on his glove from the rain. Then, they are able to actually touch fingers in the hut. Like, is the other actually there, and where does the manifestation actually end? The possibilities are endless!

I'll try my hardest to get the next chapter out as soon as I can, but you all know how I feel about writing action! *laughs nervously* I was going to try and fit the climax into one chapter, but I think it's going to span over two.

Also, by a show of hands, who thinks Leia snuck onto the Falcon and ignored Luke's orders? *scoffs* Like that woman would actually let her son go into mortal danger without her. She ain't playin' when she says she wants to be his mother full time.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter even though it is super packed with drama, drama, drama. But I think you should all know by now I'm not writing a fluffy story here. Hope you don't mind!