We are so close to the end! I still can't believe it. I wanted to get this chapter out sooner, but going on vacation stalled things quite a bit. Thanks to those who have left comments and who are still reading the story. I know as the ending draws near and when you start to realize that it isn't the ending you had wanted, people tend to abandon the story. Which is fair. I'd rather people stop reading than leave comments on how the story is ruined or that they are disappointed. So I hope you all are just along for the ride, letting me lead you on the journey that's in my mind.
Also, there is a part of the chapter that is NSFW. So if you don't want to read it, stop reading at the bold word and go down till you find the next one.
SheLitAFire: I wish there was concept art for a lot of things in this story. If only my drawing skills went beyond stick figures! lol. I know it's sad to see that even though Ben is the Supreme Ruler now, he is still quite feared by everyone, which gives him more of a lonely life. I was thinking about how people would react to him in this position, and I came to the conclusion that not much would change. Everyone knows of the things he's done, and while they will follow his orders because he is the ruler now, it doesn't mean he's about to make friends. He knows this, though, and has accepted it. It is a consequence for the life he has led. I try to throw in some politics every now and then, but I admit, I like writing the romantics parts better. Thanks so much for helping to edit this chapter! :) carissarae: Glad you enjoyed the time jump! And now we all get to see how Rey breaks the baby news to Ben... sweetes forbiden candy apple: Trust me, I'm probably more anxious at this point. Endings make or break a story, and I am super nervous to have you guys see what I have always had in store for Rey and Ben. Fingers crossed you all still like it! Aleta Wolff: There is a sense of foreboding in the last chapter, but not everything is how it appears. We'll see if anyone can guess where this is all leading to by the end of this chapter. lilkathra: I only hope you'll like it! I do, but since this is my story, I am biased. lol. Thanks for the review!
Chapter Fifty-two
The celebration lasted longer than Rey had expected, most of the older guests either taking their leave for the night or sitting at the tables, muttering to one another in their little groups in between bits of raucous laughter.
The younger generations of the influential families were on the dance platform, the music turning into something more upbeat and less formal, their bodies moving like they'd forgotten how to stand still. Finn was among them, his charismatic moves catching the eye of a lot of the guests. But he only had eyes for one girl in particular.
Caliiya was moving opposite of Finn, her face an epic picture of pure excitement. And then the duo was cut off from Rey's view, her friends immersing deeper into the electric crowd. It was nice to witness the pair having fun for once. The last year had been stressful on them both, especially Finn, as he waded through the rough waters that came with being a general.
And a boyfriend.
Looked like alcohol really did wonders in elevating a celebration into a full-blown party. Or it might be the absence of her husband.
Probably both.
But no one seemed to mind the change in mood. Everyone had been expecting the ceremony and reception to be rigid and restricting, and that included Rey. So it was a welcome surprise to have her and the guests' expectations subverted.
Rey scanned the room from the table designated for the bride and groom. Still no sign of Ben. She swallowed back a thick lump in her throat, all of it culminating from guilt. This celebration was about them, and yet, she'd barely spent any time with him all evening. She'd been rotating her presence between Korkie and Leia, her mother-in-law moving her from one dignitary to the next. Leia would introduce Rey by describing the system in which the guest hailed from, as if her knowing such a piece of information made her and the stranger better acquainted.
It didn't matter how many things Rey knew about the person's life; she was still awkward around people. But the guests found that endearing, much to Rey's hidden annoyance.
It was during one of those meetings when she caught sight of Ben getting up and making his way out of the procession. So Rey decided that when he came back, she would stay by his side for the remainder of the evening no matter what. Even if she had to stand up to Leia to do it.
Except, Ben hadn't returned.
From the bond, she felt that he was fine. His anxiety was up, but that could very well be from the party and the fact he really didn't want to talk to anyone. And really, he always had some level of anxiousness about him.
But if he didn't come back soon, Rey would–
At the south entrance, Ben finally appeared.
Rey relaxed, emptying her lungs of a pocket of air she hadn't realized she'd been holding in. He'd been gone so long, she was sure he was surprised to see how much the atmosphere had changed in his absence. Ben declined a drink from a server as Ransolm neared him, the two beginning to talk to each other. Something Ben said made Ransolm choke on his drink.
"My son still incognito?" Leia asked as she stopped in front of the table, her voice slightly rising so she could be heard over the music. "I'd say I'm surprised he left, but that would be a lie."
Rey motioned to where Ben was still talking with Ransolm. "He came back a couple minutes ago."
Leia watched the two men for a moment before coming around and taking Ben's seat next to her. Rey tensed. If Leia tried to drag her to another meet and greet she was going to– "I'm afraid Ben might be annoyed with me for parading you around too much."
That… was not what Rey had been expecting her to say.
Rey cleared her throat, relaxing her posture so she didn't seem so uptight. As much as it was tempting to keep blaming Leia for pulling her away from Ben, Rey knew it wasn't her fault. And she should acknowledge that to her mother-in-law. "If he's annoyed with anyone, it should be me. I haven't spent as much time with you as I have with Korkie and Soniee."
Which was true.
Leia reached out to pat her knee."You just found another piece of your family. Ben will understand why you've been spending time with your grandfather."
Grandfather, the word echoed in her mind.
It was still weird to hear such a term.
Rey glanced over to Ben, but he wasn't there. She searched the party and found him with the family from Lothal, Lizari's daughter in his arms. Anna snuggled closer to Ben, wrapping her arms around his neck.
It warmed Rey's heart to see such affection between the two, but then she remembered what the girl's future self had said to Jacen about never meeting his father.
The champagne seemed to creep up Rey's throat, burning its way through the soft tissue.
Ben laughed at something Terr said, his smile stretching from ear to ear. Rey frowned at the deep scar across his face. It seemed so dark against his joyous features, an evil stain that was permanent– that she had put there.
Leia adjusted her posture, which reminded Rey of her presence.
She leaned in closer to Leia while her gaze remained on Ben. "Korkie said he'd be staying on board for the next couple of days. I'm sure he would love to talk to you more about the days of the Rebellion."
"Actually, we talked for a couple hours before the ceremony." Rey snapped her attention to the woman as Leia added, "Turns out, he knew my father when he was still Anakin Skywalker."
Rey only realized her jaw had gone slack when she felt a drizzle of saliva trying to make an escape. "He knew your father? Did you… ask Korkie about him?"
The music shifted to something softer and easier to converse over, the gamboling participants clearing the platform for those who had partners to sway side to side with.
Leia shrugged. "A little. He told me some stories about how he believed Anakin to be a good man. Of course, that opinion was marred after finding out he'd become Vader. But Korkie told me that even after learning I was his daughter, he still respected me."
"Really?"
"He said he understood growing up and not knowing where you truly came from, and that who my father was would never negate all that I've done for the Rebellion and the New Republic." The smile that captured Leia's lips was without cheer, like her mind was flipping through the pages of timeworn memories. "So, looks like Korkie was one of the five people in the entire galaxy that still liked me after the truth got out."
Rey might still struggle with reading emotions, but she recognized what it felt like to feel alone. "I'm sure there was more than five people."
"Back then it didn't seem like it," Leia said smugly.
Aside from Ben and Finn, Rey was still not sure how to go about comforting someone when they were in pain or feeling down. It was an uncomfortable position to be in; felt like a lot of responsibility, too.
Maybe bringing up a different topic would lift her spirits.
Rey reached for her glass of champagne, downing what was left. She wiped the excess from her lips. "You know," she said in a low tone, "Ben would never admit this to you, but he's deeply appreciated how you've stayed with him. He knows how your political views differ from his."
Leia arched a brow. "Does it, though?"
"What do you mean?"
Leia looked back to the crowd, and Rey did the same. Ben was swaying to the music, dancing with Anna in his arms. It wasn't anything grandiose, just a shifting of weight from one leg to the other. "When I was faced with the decision of leaving him after he became Supreme Leader... I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not again, not even if our ideologies were so different. A child will always need their mother, not matter how old they become. Or who."
Leia looked to Rey. "I'm not going to lie, I worried about what kind of leader my son would be. But over the past year, he's surprised me. You say our political views differ, but I don't think they really do. I've noticed small things here and there, policies he set into place that help civilians rather than oppress them. And then there's the Senate."
There was a heartbeat of silence. "There is no Senate," Rey said slowly, wondering if Leia was getting confused.
The woman rolled her eyes and jabbed her thumb in the direction of her son. "That's what he thinks. But look at how he's been organizing planetary systems. Each system has been allowed to elect two representatives, each only serving a term of six years before re-election." That had to be a coincidence. "Ben meets with them every two months on Coruscant, using the old Senate building from the Old Republic." Well… using the old Senate building did make it seem like…. "They air their grievances, ask him for things, offer their opinions, and Ben doesn't shoot them down. Well, not all the time, anyway," Leia amended with a snicker. "We all know how he gets when he's annoyed."
Rey sat back in her chair as she digested the evidence Leia had laid out. "I knew he was doing all of this, but I never caught the similarities."
Leia chuckled. "I'm curious to see what else he does in the next year."
"Are you going to point this out to him? What he's doing?"
"Heavens, no. If you try to push Ben in one direction, he has this reflexive reaction to push back, no matter the situation. It's best for him to realize on his own what he's been doing, or he'll just end up arguing with whomever points it out. I'm sure you understand."
And Rey did. Completely.
The two women sat in comfortable silence before Rey excused herself.
Did Ben know that how he was organizing the Galactic Order was starting to mirror a Republic? Or was he subconsciously doing it? If so, bringing it up to him would only make him frustrated. Rey would have to resign herself to see how Ben's decisions played out over the next few years.
Keeping a wide berth from the guests, Rey started to walk the perimeter of the reception. There was something in the way she held herself, as if unsure of where her limbs should be in order to look comfortable and relaxed. The dress was constricting, her head was hot and sweaty from the heavily beaded veil, and she was having a hard time trying to pull off the graceful elegance that should accompany such a timeless piece of clothing.
If anyone noticed her awkwardness, no one commented on it. And she didn't pick up any stray thoughts about it, either.
Rey stopped in front of a trove of striking purple flowers, comparing them to the bouquet she had in her hands. They were similar in color, though hers were a lighter hue of lilac, the petals wider. A deep baritone laugh cut through the busy atmosphere, her focus turning back to Ben. He was laughing at something Garreaus was saying, clapping the man on the shoulder, Anna now situated in her mother's arms. When Rey got closer, he sensed her presence and turned. His laugh dissipated, but the light in his eyes lingered.
"Would you mind if I borrowed him for the rest of the night?" she asked, her eyes bouncing between Lizari, Terr, and Garreaus.
"Of course not," Terr said, waggling his brows. "You two go have fun now. Preferably in private, where the walls are soundproof."
Rey pulled Ben away before he could even glare at the man, dragging him far enough into the garden that the party became distant background noise.
She weaved her fingers in his, stopping him next to a fountain with glowing waters that spanned across the color spectrum. "Tell me you're not disappointed?"
He cocked his head to the side. "Huh?"
"I've barely spent any time with you tonight, and I don't want you to feel–"
"Rey. I'm fine. We're fine."
She let out a frustrated sigh. "I've just been spending so much time with Korkie–"
"You two literally found each other mere hours ago."
Was that really an excuse, though? "But–"
"But nothing." He placed his hands on her arms, showing her an affectionate grin. "I get to spend the rest of my life with you, while he'll only get glimpses. You can go off and enjoy your party and not worry about me, okay?"
She smoothed her palms on his chest, feeling the softness of the velvet lapels. "It's our party, though. And I want us to spend time together."
"What would you like to do, then?" he asked, voice going low.
Rey had an idea as to what he wanted to do, she could see it in the way he was gazing at her. But while that was on her list of things to get to, there was something she needed to do first. Hopefully, Ben would be open to it as well. "Can you come with me somewhere?"
"Anywhere."
She smiled, and then they disappeared.
The early morning sun of Jakku was just barely peeking over the horizon, causing red streaks to cut into the awakening sky. The Pava Sea covered over a third of the planet's surface, and with the break of dawn, clothed in a million shimmering stars that twinkled with each ripple of a wave. Blue; blue was now everywhere, stretching up into the sky, forcing the once drab atmosphere to reflect Jakku's new exterior.
Water had gushed from the remnants of the well beneath Carbon Ridge for months following its destruction. Niima Outpost was now gone, Rey's trusty old AT-AT thoroughly buried in the depths. The Graveyard of Ships had been transformed into scattered spikes of wreckage jutting out of the water, markers of the skeletons that were hidden below.
Standing on part of a Star Destroyer that hadn't been swallowed up by the sea, Rey overlooked the planet she had once called home. She had stood in this very spot many times, having found this particular crevice on one of her scavenging missions when she was younger. Now, no matter how many times Rey came to visit over the last year, her mind still had a hard time wrapping around how drastically everything had changed.
Like it had all been purified.
The ocean was at her fingertips. If she bent down and reached, she could run her hands through the warm, salty surface.
This ocean, though the final resting place of her friends, had not been formed to bring any comfort to the departed, but to soothe the living. The strikingly clear water and the ease of the waves helped to reduce her and Ben's trauma so that it was at least more manageable. They had to see the memory of their friends in something beautiful, something that showed what they had meant to them.
There was still a part of Rey that would never believe Poe wouldn't come bouncing around some corner to laugh with her, or wrinkle his forehead as he said something borderline crude. There were times where Rey needed some womanly advice and had pulled her comm from her waistband to get ahold of Jess.
One after the other, she pulled two flowers from her bouquet and dropped them into the water, consecrating the offering to Poe and Jess as if the sea were their gravestone.
"Can you drop two more?" Ben asked her softly.
She did as he requested, hearing him dedicate it to Jorfel and his father. Glancing down at her bouquet, a thought crossed her mind. She gently tossed the bundle and inwardly paid her respects to all those who had lost their lives in the war. Not just Resistance, but the First Order as well.
Death was death, no matter the side.
Rey and Ben stood in a respectful silence till he deemed it acceptable for them to go. She grabbed his hand and took him to a place that was special to them both.
()()()()()
The small cottage was small and simple: one bedroom with an attached refresher, a small kitchenette, and a tight communal space. Its sturdy walls and floors were made from the same grey clay that was used for many of the buildings on Khalon, which helped in reducing the inside temperature to a comfortable cool climate.
Ben had this place built for Rey shortly after they got married, and they'd put it to good use ever since. But while it looked quaint, Ben had this place wired like a fortress. So far, not a single soul had tried to break in.
It did help that he now owned the city, along with the whole island.
Rey had them appear in the bedroom, and if that wasn't enough of a clue into what was on her mind, she projected her desires across the bond.
As she swept the beaded headdress off her hair, Ben's hands went for her hips. She dodged at his attempt to grab her as she backed away quickly. "If there is even one rip on this dress, your mother will have our heads."
"Rips can be fixed," he said huskily. He took a step forward; she took a step back.
She held up a firm hand, making his advancements stop. "Let me try something and if it doesn't work, you can undress me your way."
She closed her eyes, evened out her breathing, and vanished. The dress crumbled to the floor without a body to hold it in place.
She reappeared on the other side of the room, Ben's back facing her as he just stared at the lifeless dress. Rey chuckled, causing him to swing around. He was mid-stride when she tsked and pointed at the wedding gown. "Pick it up and hang it in the closet," she ordered, his eyes darkening at her demand. "Then, you can do whatever you want with me."
Ben hurried to do as she asked. As the closet doors closed, he faced her, his chest broadening under labored breaths, his umber eyes roaming over her naked body.
Rey grinned, knowing full well that Ben was about to seduce her. His hands flexed at his sides as he crept across the room, the shadows from the dimmed lights making him look like a hungry predator salivating at his next meal. Rey's lungs expanded, taking in the briny air. She was already wet, her core pulsating with the beat of her frantic heart.
He said her name, the baritone lilt of his voice providing her with just the right blend of relaxation and tension. Moving well into her personal space, heat in his eyes, hands still tamed, he looked at her.
Their gaze lasted a full second, enough for each to take in the face of the other. Ben bent down, working their lips together slowly before it morphed it something more. With the kiss came electric tingles, and the desire to play.
He pressed his tongue at the seams of her lips and, once she granted him access, delved inside her mouth. With one hand, he gripped her hip hard enough to leave a bruise, and with the other, he found her entrance. His fingers dipped inside, massaging against the spot that drove her crazy, the combination of her slickness and his movements filling the quiet room with obscene noises. In an instant, she arched up against his wide chest and ordered him to take off his clothes.
The lack of contact made her whimper, but was soon rectified as she watched him strip down to just his skin. Licking her lips, she reached out to touch–
Ben grabbed her and swung her around, bringing her over to the dresser. He pressed her up against it, and she was held in place by a rock hard body twice her size. Her hands grasped at the edge as he worked her with his fingers, the angle allowing him to go deeper. Her breathing hastened, the intense rhythm of her heartbeat undergoing an irregular count, hammering quicker than a lightning bolt as he rubbed her clit while continuing to nail her insides. "You told me I can do whatever I want to you, and what I want is to make you come. Over and over again." His voice dripped with erotic inevitably. "I'm not going to stop till I'm satisfied."
Rey moaned. She wanted this. She wanted whatever he was going to do to her.
This wasn't the first time in their relationship where Ben had established a more dominant roll. Rey immensely enjoyed it, actually. Sometimes he would call the shots, other times she would be in control. They switched it up often enough to where their sex life was never boring.
That coil deep within her belly tightened, her toes and fingers warming as the spring finally snapped and sent her into a blissful free-fall. She couldn't control the noises she made; it was like some type of cross between a cry and a guttural moan.
She expected Ben to slip inside her and finish for himself.
She was wrong.
With his fingers languidly massaging her, helping her to crest down from her high, his mouth came to her ear. "Ask me what I'm going to do to you."
Rey took in a big gulp of air, her arms slightly shaking. "What are going to do to me?"
He sharply spanked her. Rey yelped, eyes shooting wide open. That was… different. He'd never done that before. But with the sting on her buttock and at the pace his fingers were moving, it was all combining to be a sensual lick of pain and pleasure.
Ben's free hand came up to her breast, giving it a squeeze. "Ask me correctly." He tugged at her nipple, twisting. Rey opened her mouth, but could only pant.
Another slap for her mishap, but this one didn't hold much strength behind it.
Rey licked her lips, somehow finding her voice, hoping she was correctly interpreting what he wanted to hear. "What are you going to do to me… Ben?"
"I'm going to make you come on my fingers, against my face, with my cock, from behind, while riding me – we're doing it all on my terms. So far, we're one position down. Now, ask me what's next?"
"What–," Rey had to take a second to clear her throat. "What are you going to do to next, Ben?"
His fingers criminally left her, his hands going to her hips. "Widen your stance." She obeyed. "Bend forward." She complied. "Hold onto the sides." She spread out her arms till they were where he wanted. "I want your knuckles to go white by the time I'm done."
She wasn't sure what he was implying with that, but she didn't have a lot of time to contemplate it either. He went to his knees, running his hands up and down her thighs. His touch made her legs tremble, and her breathing shallow. He palmed her rear and massaged, working his way to her center. With no warning, he spread her open with his tongue.
Rey expected to see her grey matter with how hard her eyes rolled back into her skull.
There was no easing into what he was doing to her with his mouth, no warning or coaxing or talking. It was two sets of lips meeting, one taking and the other going to work. Rey lost all sense of feeling that wasn't being touched by Ben. The only noises she caught were from flesh on flesh as he lapped his tongue up and in and around her swelling heat.
Rey was blindsided by how her orgasm crashed into her, her body offering no notice of the sudden unravel. Distantly, she felt her right hand loosen and her body careen to the side. Ben steadied her with both his arms as his face remained below. He sucked her lips into his mouth before releasing them with a pop.
When he stood up, he entered her with a single hard thrust, bottoming out. His arm wrapped around her, protecting her midsection from colliding with the edge of the dresser before leveraging her at her hips, moving her forward and back to meet his thrusts. The pace was unrelenting, and all Rey could do was succumb to it, her mouth agape and her eyes unable to stay open. It didn't matter how sensitive she was, her body still craved for more.
She braced herself against the dresser, Ben feverishly switching to rubbing her nub as she came again. Stray strands of hair fell into her face, her head bobbing, his body smacking against hers as he helped her ride out the climax. They were setting a new record with how many times she'd peaked in such a short amount of time. But, she figured that's what Ben was going for.
Eyes half hooded, she saw how hard she was holding onto the edges of the dresser. Her knuckles had paled from the strain.
Rey's legs finally gave out, but Ben was quick to catch her, as if he'd been anticipating this sort of reaction. He carried her in his arms to the bed, peppering her face with kisses, whispering to her sweet compliments of her beauty. Rey couldn't respond or even open her eyes, her body vibrating from the aftermath of what he'd done to her.
She couldn't feel her fingers or toes.
The sex had been elevated to the billionth degree, and Rey was blissed out. But she knew they weren't done, and the thought made her wet all over again.
Ben still hadn't succumbed to his release. Somehow, he'd held back as he rammed into her. Rey had no idea how anyone could have that much restraint, but Ben never ceased to surprise her.
There was one thing she could count on, though; he'd always give her two arms to cling to, and warmth to fall into.
()()()()()
Gently and quietly, Ren put Rey down on the plush bed, her body so unresponsive that she didn't even stretch out her limbs or adjust her position. She just stayed there, curled up, muscles laxed. He lay next to her, draping her leg over his hips and pulling her against his chest. She moaned a little bit, like she was trying to say something, but only got halfway there with just making noise.
As his breathing evened out and he softened down below, he took the pins out of her disheveled hair, running his fingers through her silky tresses and inhaling the floral scent.
That was when Rey started to softly snore.
He chuckled through his nose.
He probably should've paced himself better; maybe even cooled it with how demanding he'd been. But from Rey's bodily responses and the bond they shared, he knew she'd been enjoying it.
It had taken a while in their relationship for him to grow comfortable enough with her to be more domineering with intimacy. Laying out his desires, even if he knew she loved him wholeheartedly, had been nerve wracking. Judgment was always a fear, especially if it came from someone he loved.
But she never once turned down his ideas or laughed at him. She only asked to take it slow, which always ended with them picking up the pace. The galaxy was saturated with so many different cultures and beliefs, that procuring bindings and toys had been easy and eye opening for them both.
Tonight, however, he didn't want to add anything extra to the foreplay. It was just going to be her and him, like it had been in the beginning.
His plans for driving her to the edges of her sanity were starting to recede as he watched her sleep. He could wake her and push her to keep going; he knew she wouldn't object. But it had been a very long day for her emotionally and mentally; from getting to know her long lost grandfather and interacting with the guests at their reception, to him making her climax three times in less than three minutes, she was spent before they even got to Spira.
As night fell, and Rey continued to sleep in their bed, Ren slipped into his trousers and ventured outside. It was a short walk to the beach, one he knew even in the darkest of nights. Bare feet walking along the damp sand, he stopped just out of reach of the leisure waves, looking out to the murky expanse of the sea. The crescent moon didn't offer much in the way of light, but it was enough for the ocean to reflect back what it gave.
As he looked out over the sea, his thoughts went back to Jakku and how they had paid their respects to their fallen friends.
Ren wasn't distressed at the loss anymore. Heartaches were as common as bruises, the difference being that they didn't leave a mark. It hid deep in the heart, calcifying, setting up residence in a firm bundle of scar tissue. There was no divine equivalent of a warm compress that could be put on the ache to speed up healing. No such thing as a doctor who could perform surgery on the soul. Time didn't necessarily heal anything, but made you learn how to bear the grief that silently lived within.
But time did teach. It left Ren with reminders that he couldn't get everything he wanted. Because life choices dictated friendships, and time eventually separated individuals. Even if his story had been carefully crafted with a decisive narrative to match, Poe and Jess wouldn't have made it to the last page. The Force had willed their destiny.
Ren had just been an observer to their journey.
Those thoughts didn't necessarily leave him depressed, but they weren't pleasant either.
It helped that he had Rey. If he didn't…. Well, he didn't like to think about where his life would've taken him.
He brought his left hand up to his face, his thumb twisting the black band on his ring finger, eyeing the veins of gold that weaved through the metal. It didn't match the one he'd given Rey, but that had been the plan. Upon learning that some couples preferred having a matching set of rings, Rey had objected, not really liking that idea for them. While they were similar in many ways, they were also different. So the plan had changed to where they would each choose a ring for the other, something they thought symbolized who they were.
He'd given her a gold band, the thin ring covered in a single row of rare ur-diamonds. It was simple and quaint and in no way flashy.
He sensed that Rey had loved it the moment he slipped it on her finger.
He stooped his hands into his pockets, the cooling air caressing along his bare torso.
He sensed Rey before he heard her approach. "Hey," she breathed out as she stretched her arms above her head, bumping him with her shoulder. "What happened to all those different ways you were planning on having me?"
He regarded her with a playful side-eye. "You fell asleep."
She winced and rubbed the back of her neck. "Sorry about that. Guess the day took more out of me than I thought. But you could've woken me."
He shrugged, eyes roaming over her short robe. "You needed the sleep."
"Sorry I–"
"You know how I feel about you apologizing when there's nothing to apologize for."
Rey huffed and bated her hand through the air. "Fine. Have it your way."
He gave her a cocky half smile. "I intend to."
"Actually, could we put that on hold for a bit? I've sort of been looking for a good time to give you something."
"What? Like a gift?"
"Sort of. Could you wait here for just a second?"
He nodded, and then she was gone. He counted to eight before she was back again.
She was holding something in her hands, a small towel concealing the contents below. Ren frowned as he noticed and felt how nervous she became. But before he could question her, she pulled the draped fabric to reveal what was underneath.
It was his grandfather's warped and burnt helmet, safely secured in a clear duraplex box.
After Snoke's demise, Ren had tried to locate the whereabouts of the helmet after Hux had revealed that it wasn't being stored anywhere on the ship. Turned out, that one-eyed egg-sucking son of a slime-devil had gotten rid of it. Tossed it out a garbage shoot. With the trash. Like it was nothing. It took all Ren's willpower not to execute the bastard in his cell. Hux deserved a very public death, which Ren would have to schedule once Hux had done a sufficient amount of rotting in prison.
Ren had been quick to calculate where the mask should be in space, but had come up empty handed. He'd destroyed a whole training room in his rage, much to Rey's annoyance.
Sometimes, pirates stalked Star Destroyer fleets in hopes of finding something of use from what was left behind. It was the only logical explanation as to why Ren couldn't find Vader's mask. "Where…"
"I've been following a lead through the black market and would check it out whenever I was out searching for students," Rey explained carefully, slowly. As if she knew he was having a hard time understanding how this was all possible. "I found it on Kaddak, stored away in an underground shipyard controlled by what was left of the Ranc gang."
"You infiltarted a Ranc hideout alone?"
"For a normal person, it would've been difficult." Her tone had a hint of pride. "But with the Force, it was actually doable. I got away without having to kill anyone… so that worked out in my favor."
Ren swallowed hard, his throat bobbing up and down. "I… I don't even know how to thank you… for doing this."
As if stuck underwater, everything was slow and warbled as he reached out to touch the box, his fingers trembling. Just as he was about to make contact, Rey pulled it away.
She looked momentarily uncertain. "Now, I know how you used to idolize your grandfather for his ruthlessness and power. Maybe you still do. But I don't want you to worship this mask for those reasons anymore. When you look at it, I want you to see his mistakes. I want you to accept that Vader was a monster, and that you should strive to be different. I am giving this to you as a reminder of what not to become, not of what you should be. And if you can't do that… then the mask can't be yours."
Ren had no desire to be deceitful. "I'm not going to lie, a part of me still idolizes how powerful he was in the dark side." He could tell that was not what Rey wanted to hear. "But if you must know," he continued, "yes, I know Vader was a monster, and I don't want to become him. Not anymore. I've lived the majority of my life living up to other people's standards, and that included my grandfather's. This time, I'm going to be who I've always wanted to be."
Rey's eyes softened. "And what's that?"
"A good husband, and a fair leader. Now that I have my life together, I feel like I can do anything. Hell, maybe I'll study medicine as some sort of side hobby."
Rey's smile was faint as she moved closer to him. "You're gonna have to add father to that list."
Ren ditched the levity quick. "What?" he stammered. "Are you…?" Ren was fully expecting Rey to burst into laughter, teasing him for the rest of their days over how wide his eyes had become. But she did neither of those things. She held his gaze, her grin now gone, and nodded her head.
Like autumn leaves driven before the wind, like a flock of pigeons scared by the scream of an edgehawk, his calm demeanor dispersed, making way for panic.
Ren opened his mouth and strained his vocal chords, but nothing came out. He began to back away, his steps sinking further into the soft sand.
Rey hitched the clear parcel on her hip. "Hey," she said soothingly, trying to touch his cheek. He batted her attempt away with more force than necessary. "Hey, look at me, Ben. This is not something to be afraid of."
"Says the woman who's a good fucking person," he snapped at her. Rey froze. He could tell her eyes were beginning to water from the way the moonlight reflected off the moisture.
He ran his hands through his hair, tugging as he went. His brain had dissolved into a mental soup of conflicting emotions, making him unable to choose what he should do next.
He just… he needed a moment. Alone.
Ren walked away from Rey, his strides staying on the narrow shoreline. He could see in the distance the lights of Khalon, could hear the faint sounds of music. There were families in that city– mothers and fathers and children. Were they all happy to be together? Did they fight and scream and disappoint each other? Were they able to get over it and move on?
Grudges and resentment were poisonous to family units, and Ren had no idea how to raise a child without the little thing hating him. Half his brain gave him the reasons why everything would turn out all right, and the other half bombarded him with every way he could turn out to be a horrible parent. The arguments in his head went so fast and became so disturbing, that his brain shut down his body.
Ren stood there, gaze on the city, but no longer taking it in.
Emotions escaped him, and for a moment, he felt nothing at all. A drifting existence. A merciful respite.
Eventually his heart rate slowed, his brain thankfully rebooted, and the negative thoughts stopped coming at him like tempestuous waves on rocks.
Across one of his synapses, something occurred to him. Rey was going to be a mother, something she'd wanted for a long time.
And she needed his support. No matter his issues, he shouldn't be treating her like this.
He wasn't sure how long he'd been gone, but through it all, Rey had waited for him to come back. She was sitting on the sand near the bank of vegetation, legs crossed and eyes set on the water. Vader's helmet was gone, probably tucked away in the cottage or hidden somewhere in the galaxy as a punishment for his deplorable reaction. It was no less than he deserved.
Ren sat beside her, and Rey adjusted her position so she could face him.
He couldn't tell if she'd been crying or not.
"Don't worry." Rey tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I'll still give you the helmet."
Unusually, he wasn't worried about that.
Tentatively, Ren grabbed hold of her hand and brought it up to his mouth, brushing his lips against her soft skin. "I'm sorry… for how I reacted."
"I knew it would probably go something like that," she said evenly and emotionless. "I prepared myself."
That stung, even though he knew Rey didn't mean for it to. "Still, I know I hurt you."
She didn't say anything, just kept staring at him. Waiting. Her face braced for whatever thought he decided to articulate.
"What if he turns out like me?" Ren whispered, voice tight.
"Like what?" Rey scooted closer till their knees touched. He let go of her hand, but she transferred her touch to his thighs. "A man with a good heart who faced his own demons and won?"
"Hardly. And you know what I mean."
Her thumbs moved back and forth atop his trousers. "When I saw our son, he was neither haunted, nor cloaked in darkness. He doesn't have a monster in his life to lead him astray."
"You don't know that," he deadpanned.
"I do."
"How?"
"Because I'm his mother, and a mother knows things."
Ren rolled his eyes. That was such a Leia thing to say. "You haven't even given birth to him yet."
"I became his mother the moment I met him. And what's done is done." She straightened her posture and placed her hands in her lap, her mouth setting into a straight line. "There's no use in wishing things were different. I'm pregnant, Ben, and I am having this baby with or without you."
He flinched. "You really think I'd abandon you over this?"
Her eyes shifted to the side and became glazed with a glossy layer of tears. Chin trembling, the words slowly made their way out of her mouth. "I know how much you don't want to have kids. And as much as I know you, sometimes, you still make decisions that surprise me." The 'and hurt me' was hidden in the way she pursed her lips, trying to suppress a sob.
Ren's heart sank.
He pulled her onto his lap in one swift motion, her legs straddling him as he held her tight. "I'd never leave you," he said ardently into her hair. "And I don't want you to ever think that, okay? I'm in this, all the way. No matter what."
Idly, they melted into each other, listening to the breeze shift the leaves of the trees. She didn't cry; not out loud, anyway. He comforted her, and in turn, the feel of Rey's body so close to his soothed him more than he expected. Ren played with a strand of her hair, wrapping it in and around his fingers. In turn, Rey stroked his back, following the line of his spine.
Ren hesitated for a moment before saying, "We should name our son after your father."
Rey tensed, and her anxiety spiked.
She pulled back and lifted her head. "Ben… there's something you should know."
It was there, on the sandy shores of Spira, that he finally learned the whole truth of what happened to Rey while fighting Snoke.
Words left him. Again.
He stared at those bright hazel eyes that burned with worry. "Say something," Rey implored softly. But he couldn't get his lips to move. Finding out that Rey was pregnant, and now hearing what Anna had said to Jacen about never meeting his father, him… what was he supposed to think of all this?
He couldn't even begin to delve into the implications of why a grown-up Anna was with their son during that time.
Rey's eyes desperately searched his, and she cupped his face to bring him closer. "I swear to you, I won't let anything happen to you. There's a chance I might've even heard her wrong, or misinterpreted what was said."
Ren doubted that.
"Do you trust me?" Rey asked.
Ren stared at her determined face, and decided that if there was ever a time to trust her, now would be it. "Yes," he breathed out.
"Then trust me when I say you're going to be an amazing father, and our son will love you. Here." She guided his hand to her flat belly. "Can you sense him like I can? He has balance, perseverance, and intelligence. That's our son, Ben. That's your child. And you are going to be in his life."
The spark was gentle at first, but then the warmth hit his heart, and Ben's pride was without reservation. The Force was very strong with this child, his child, stronger than even Ben himself. This life that lived in Rey was astute and strong and beautiful. Ben wanted to watch his son grow, wanted to teach him all that he knew and could offer.
But would he be able to?
If the will of the Force was for his mortal life to end sooner than expected, then there was nothing anyone could do to change it. Ben was beginning to understand that, the cloak of naivety having evaporated with age and experience. But Rey… she was so hopeful, so determined. She still believed she could conquer anything, even destiny.
He couldn't take that from her.
He leaned in and kissed Rey's warm lips. "I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too."
Love was powerful, Ben had learned. But fate was unstoppable. The countdown to whatever his future held for him had now begun.
()()()()()
Everything had been working in Ben and Rey's favor.
Until it wasn't.
Over the course of Rey's pregnancy, she had watched helplessly as things began to change: her body became rounder, emotions were erratic, cravings and her bladder ran her life, and people treated her like she was made of glass.
Oh, and Ben wanted to spend every second of every day with her.
He restructured her exercise routine, fussed over whether or not she was eating enough, and had this tendency of picking her up and carrying her whenever they were alone.
She was pregnant. Not broken. She could walk from the bed to the kitchen.
Ben rarely let her.
Then the cramps started, and the spotting. She was barely halfway through the second trimester when she was ordered to go on bed rest, only being allowed a leisurely walk an hour per day.
And teleportation was strictly prohibited. They didn't know how it would affect the baby, so it was nixed all together.
If Rey thought Ben had hovered over her too much in the beginning of the pregnancy, she'd been in for a rude awakening. The man watched her like a farlus hawk, the slightest wince or sigh making him bring in Harter to look her over.
While they agreed that they'd raise their son mostly at Ben's grandmother's estate on Naboo, they did have a spare room in their quarters that was being converted into a nursery in case their son was ever on board. Ben seriously contemplated putting the renovations on hold and having Harter move into the room instead, just so she could be close to Rey at all times.
Rey put her foot down at that idea. Sure, she basically had all her freedom taken away due to her condition, but that was so her son could survive. Rey wasn't about to give up the little morsel of privacy she had left. Sex was currently off the table, but she still needed to have alone time with her husband – mainly with his mouth and fingers. Fortunately, Ben had enough of a grip on reality to recognize he was being a paranoid mess, realizing he didn't want anyone living with them either.
Harter moved into the quarters situated across the hall from them. Because compromise.
At least giving birth to her baby was an occasion Rey felt like she was prepared for.
Except, she hadn't been. And neither had Ben.
Throughout the duration of the pregnancy, they had to put in an extra amount of effort in keeping the bond closed off from each other, lest he feel the discomfort she was in. Ben didn't do very well with cramping and fatigue and feeling like he had to pee when he didn't need to. Then there were times where he swore he felt something kick him in the ribs. So for the most part, Rey tried to keep her experience just to herself, but she'd be lying if she denied that she occasionally let something slip through the bond.
Ben should understand exactly what she was going through.
Marriage was about being fair.
However, she did feel somewhat bad over not being able to control their connection when experiencing a contraction. This left Ben alone in trying to control anything from getting through, but without Rey's help, things would slip. In which case, he'd double over, go pale, and proclaim that his insides were being torn apart while being lit on fire.
"You can handle getting beaten and cut with a lightsaber, but you can't handle a contraction?!"she had yelled at him. After that, he'd kept his complaints to himself, and Rey's pity had evaporated.
Labor lasted 36 hours, which was torture for them both since Rey refused any drugs. She thought by doing everything naturally, it would go by quicker. She realized that was a naive assumption to make.
By the time she asked for medication, she had barely progressed to four centimeters, and the baby was becoming extremely stressed. In turn, Ben began to panic, and Rey didn't find out till later that he could feel their son's fear and was straining to get out.
Once anesthetized, the doctors didn't ask permission to perform a cesarean, they just informed her they were doing it. The baby's heart rate had suddenly dropped, leaving them no choice.
Everything had been a blur, except for Ben's constant presence next to her. He held her hand, wiped her face with a damp towel, and offered her soothing and supportive words, even though she had treated him like dirt earlier.
But when everything became frantic, he went pale, eyes bugging out.
See, Rey knew he was extremely worried for her since the bed rest had begun. But Ben's feelings had changed over the last nine months. It started with him placing a hand to her swelling belly one day, then rubbing it, which progressed till he was talking to the little human growing inside. He began openly discussing his hopes and dreams for their son, ruminating over what it would be like to finally meet him.
Days before going into labor, Rey and Ben had both been talking to each other, discussing future plans while idly laying in bed when they were both jolted by a sudden presence through the Force. Their son, only just a baby, had been emitting his excitement to meet them. Ben's reaction was to rest his head next to Rey's belly and whisper things she couldn't make out, like father and son were already keeping secrets from her. Eventually, Ben fell asleep and stayed in that position for the rest of the night.
So as she laid there on the table, the doctors and med droids hurrying to cut her open, she could sense that Ben wasn't just worrying about her, but for their son as well.
Rey never knew that hearing a baby cry could make her overflow with such joy.
Ben was the first to hold Jacen Storand Solo after he'd been checked, cleaned, and swaddled. Ben cradled the small bundle in the palm of his hands with reverence. His affection towards Jacen had been slow and apprehensive, all building to the moment of his arrival. The baby cooed, and Rey knew Ben was a goner. It was written all over his face.
It was only a matter of time before Ben assigned a whole battalion as Jacen's security team.
Now, three months after giving birth, Rey found herself in a fitful sleep.
On the heels of a nightmare where Rey watched helplessly as Ben and her son were taken from her, she woke with a jerk that flopped all four of her limbs. For a short moment, she had no idea where she was. Was she on the Finalizer? Naboo? Were Ben and Jacen really gone?
But then she looked around the living quarters of the Falcon from the floor, and reality came flooding back to her.
They'd been traveling to Coruscant for one of Ben's monthly planetary meetings when the ship had started to violently shake while in hyperspace. Too much atmospheric disturbance while traveling at light speed was never a good sign.
She'd been in the room feeding Jacen when it all happened. Finn and Caliiya started to yell from the main hold, and Chewie came bounding out of the room next door to help. She put Jacen down in his bassinet and went for the exit–
Then, nothing. She must've passed out before she ever reached the hallway.
Rey sprung to her feet and looked down at her son in the bassinet, seeing that he was fast asleep, unharmed. She gently rested her palm across his chest, sighing in relief. Then she was out the door and looking for answers.
Had the Falcon malfunctioned? She made sure it was in perfect working condition before they departed. Ben hadn't wanted to take the rust bucket, but it had been so long since Rey had flown it, that she begged him to let them take it out just this once. His arsenal of TIE's would be following him in whatever ship he chose anyway. Eventually, he relented with a smirk. She knew it was difficult for him to say no to her when she put on a pout and batted her lashes.
Now, she was regretting using her womanly persuasion against him.
Rey froze in the main hold, seeing Caliiya, Chewie, and Finn out cold on the floor. She went to Finn first, shaking him awake. He groaned as he sat up and rubbed the back of his head. "What happened?"
But Rey didn't answer him. She scrambled to the cockpit, bypassing Ransolm and Leia in the flanking seats and going straight for Ben in the pilot's chair.
She didn't rouse him awake.
Instead she froze, her gaze fixated out of the viewport, seeing a meadow of high grass and lavender flowers.
And sure enough, there were chunks of earth floating in the atmosphere.
It all still looked exactly the same from when she had fought Snoke.
Rey was too far gone in the moment to notice that Ben was now conscious. "Rey?"
She whipped around, his drowsy eyes looking up at her with confusion. But then it was as if an electric bolt hit his body as he snapped up straight, wide eyed with panic. "Jacen?"
"He's fine," Rey replied quickly, placing a hand on his shoulder. Ben let out a long breath and rubbed his face. "He's asleep in our room."
Rey shifted closer to the co-pilot's seat so Ben could stand. He gave Ransolm a quick once over before extensively checking on his mother.
But Rey's gaze kept going back to the viewport. "Ben… what happened?"
He was kneeling next to Leia, her hand in his, taking a moment to concentrate on her life force. Ben shook his head and opened his eyes. "I– I don't know. Everything seemed to be malfunctioning and I tried to get control of the ship and–" As he stood, he stilled, his eyes taking in the outside world. "Where are we?"
"The meadow."
There was a heartbeat of silence, and then Ben jumped into action. "We need to get out of here," he said, voice tight. His hands flew over the control panel with expert dexterity, trying to initiate the engines.
Nothing happened.
He punched at the toggle in frustration, which helped to snap Rey out of her stupor and go to the side panel to help.
"Hello, Rey. Ben."
Much to Rey's embarrassment, she yelped at hearing the voice of a child inside the cockpit, the Force giving her no warning as to another person's presence. Both her and Ben swung around, going motionless.
A young girl, not yet in the throes of puberty, stood underneath the cockpit's corridor, her crimson hair and pale skin somehow still vibrant against the dimness of the cabin. Was she slightly glowing?
Rey had never seen this child before, but her immature looks were a prelude to the womanly features Rey had grown accustomed to looking at. Even though it had been over a year since they last conversed and Rey had believed her to be dead, the girl was standing there with a smirk on her face, eyes shifting between her and Ben.
Kayani had saved Rey's life and had helped in bringing down Snoke. She'd even given Rey the gift of keeping some of her power, which she was thankful for. But that didn't mean Rey was happy to see her.
And it was clear that neither was Ben.
A/N
So. The next chapter is for sure the ending. Like, for sure for sure. I have currently 2,000 words of it written and it is all mapped out, but as you can imagine, it's difficult to write. I start getting emotional about ending the story, then nervous about how it will be received, which makes it difficult to write. I just ask for your patience in waiting for it to be updated. I don't have a timetable for when it will be done. But I will push myself to write everyday!