Hello readers! Yes, I am still alive. No, I have not abandoned this story. That would be horrible to do when we are on the cusp of the ending! But I do apologize for how long it has taken to update. As you can imagine, the ending was hard to write. Not only because of what happens, but because it feels like I'm saying goodbye to a dear friend of mine. I started this story when I was deeply depressed, and it helped me to have an outlet and a hobby I could turn to to help me get through it. This work is special to me, and I am afraid with how the ending will be received. Do I expect some people to hate it? Sure, and I might get some hateful comments. But I think there are some of you who will understand why it had to end this way and will still love the story for the way it is.
In other news, I've been going back to edit earlier chapters and let me just apologize now for how horrible my writing was. I mean, I'm still not that great at it but my goodness, there are so many mistakes in those chapters! If any of you are writing fanfiction, do yourself a favor and invest in a beta. SheLitAFire has been helping me the last ten or so chapters, but I wish I had a beta earlier on. Trust me, you won't regret someone editing your story!
lilkathra: Well, this chapter will definitely let you know what happens next. I just hope you'll be able to accept where it is all going! Guest: Sort of? Your guess is very close to the mark, but it isn't a sacrifice in the sense of dying. It is more complicated and deeper than that. But you are very close! Aleta Wolff: I know you're scared. I'm scared with how you'll react to everything that happens. I know there has been a lot of suffering in this story, but when fate comes calling, they can't ignore it. I think the very end of the story is a happy ending, but you might see it differently. Kajsa: I'm so glad you found the story and like it! It's a pet peeve of mine to read a story and the author doesn't know where they are going with it. Because of that, frustration sets in and they abandon the story and leaves us readers heartbroken. I vowed I wouldn't do that. It also helped that the ending was the first thing I thought of for the story and then I worked backwards from there. I have put so much thought and research into the story and it makes me so happy for you to notice and appreciate it. I, too, am a sucker for happy endings. If a story doesn't have a happy ending, I rarely read it. I think my ending is bittersweet, but is ultimately a happy one. We shall see if you agree or not. Jenee77: You reviewed on chapter 21, so hopefully you've gotten this far and can see this. Then again, it sounded like you were binge reading it, so you've probably been waiting for this update for a while. I wanted this story to feel like a novel, so thank you for thinking that! I hope you like how it ends! SheLitAFire: I think a lot of people will back you on that sentiment. lol. lucel18: I know, it's hard to believe that Poe is gone. It hurt to kill him off, trust me. In this chapter, we learn why Obi-wan told Rey that she'll need to let Ben go. Hope it doesn't ruin the story for you. And I'm glad you are enjoying Ben's character growth. It's been one helluva ride writing his character. lol. I understand why you've waited till the story is almost finished to catch up. I do that with other stories, too! I'll see that they updated, but I wait till it's finished to read it all. I just hate waiting, and I deeply apologize for how long it has taken me to post these last chapters. I hope overall, you still enjoy the story as a whole. Dinobunny: Thanks so much for loving the story! I really wanted it to feel like a Star Wars story, and I'm glad you think so. It is really sad this is all coming to an end. I've been getting really emotional about saying goodbye to this story, actually. It's been an experience to write it over the last two and a half years, let me tell you. There will be no sequel, but I do plan on writing about Jacen's journey. It won't have a substantial plot to it, just different times in his life as he grows up and struggles to accept who his father is and where he comes from. But I want to take a little break from the Star Wars universe and work on my Reylo modern AU. The first few chapters are done, but I was thinking on waiting to post them till it's mostly finished. I know I suck at updating frequently, and I didn't want to make you guys wait for the chapters like I did with this story. Or would you all rather I post it, regardless if you have to wait two months for an update? Let me know in a comment! : You last reviewed on chapter 10, but maybe you've made it to the end by now? Either way, thanks for the comments! I'm glad you're loving Rey and Ben's interactions. Hope you love the rest of the story!
So I want to warn you guys that we are about to get more into depth with the Force. I know not everyone watches The Clone Wars and Rebels, so I try to explain the best I can what is happening. But just in case, maybe take a second and read about Mortis on wookieepedia or google it. Or you could go back to chapter 40 and read over the conversation Ben and Rey had while dining on Chandrila, but honestly, that discussion only scratches the surface of what we're going to be diving into.
And before we get into it, thank you to my mom and SheLitAFire for editing these last two chapters. You guys truly helped me in getting across the finish line!
Chapter Fifty-three
Ever since Rey was left on Jakku, with the endless hardships and unquenchable thirst the desert brought upon her, she had always held onto her compassion. She gave it out cautiously to those who were adults and in need of aid – there were a handful of occasions where it had been a trap in an effort to steal her loot – but more decidedly to those who were on the brink of death, sharing her food, water, and meager medical supplies she'd found in the crevices of Star Destroyers. But she never, not once, turned her back on the children. Even if some of them had mothers, she would slip the young child a ration, or fashion a doll out of fabric she'd taken off a skeleton, stuffing it with sand to give it shape. It was a rarity to find a child without a ward on Jakku, because if they were an orphan, it wasn't long before they either died or were snatched up and sold into slavery. Unkar had only ever taken in one parentless child, and got rid of the rest.
So to see a young girl standing in the cockpit of the Falcon, her appearance prepubescent and young, was startling for Rey – mainly for the fact that not a bone in Rey's body held an ounce of consideration for her.
Rey knew who this girl was. They might've parted on good terms and had even been allies, but her presence sent a chill down Rey's spine, a warning of a mysterious fate.
Rey gave the girl a once over. Her outfit – a simple ensemble of dark trousers and a brown shirt, paired with a woven black jacket – looked rather outdated for the modern times. There was even some weathering to the fabric, which was odd given how Kayani could dress her spirit in whatever she preferred. Maybe those were the clothes she had died in?
It was an unsettling thought.
Rey stared at Kayani, too startled for any words to form. Her blue eyes were still the same: steely and ancient. She glanced quickly to Ransolm and Leia, both of them still conked out in their seats, unaware of what was transpiring.
Ignoring the shock that saturated the atmosphere, Kayani slightly bowed her head and said, "It's good to see you two again." Her voice had that singsong lilt that children tended to have. The sound of it was jarring. Rey was used to hearing a more mature version of that voice in her head.
"You're supposed to be dead," Ben said sourly.
"I'm already dead."
He gritted his teeth. "This time was supposed to be more final."
The tense moment elongated as Ben held a stare down with Kayani, neither relenting the authority the other displayed. "The Force has other plans for me and my brother," Kayani said evenly. "As well as for you."
Rey paled at the ominous statement.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Ben questioned harshly.
"Don't act ignorant, Ben. It's never suited you."
Ben's hands curled into fists, his tense body listing forward ever so slightly, like he was ready to pounce and tear the girl from limb to limb. If Kayani noticed the rise in his temperament, she didn't let on. "You know what this place is," Kayani said expansively. "So you probably have an idea as to what's happening."
Rey wide eyes glanced to Ben, but he remained silent.
Kayani sighed and rolled her shoulders as her gaze roamed around the cockpit. When her stare settled, it was upon Rey. "It would probably be best for me to wait and explain till everyone is awake, that way I don't have to repeat myself. When you're ready, I'll be waiting outside."
Kayani disappeared.
Ben staggered back, leaning against the pilot's chair for support, his breath trembling with each exhale. His fear was palpable not just from his physical appearance, but also through the tautness of the bond as well. Sure, Rey knew Ben was afraid of a handful of things, most of which no one else knew about. He had a way of appearing menacing while giving off strength and leadership, trying to hide his emotions so they couldn't be used against him.
But this kind of transparent fear… Rey had only seen when it came to Snoke.
As if shocked by an electrical current, Ben jumped into action, his hands flying over the control panel. "We need to get out of here," he declared a second time without even a glance in her direction.
"Ben."
"Maybe we can get enough of a charge from the backup generator–"
"Ben."
"–to get everything back online–"
"Ben!" He whipped around, shocked by how she had screamed his name. Rey took in two long breaths, but her heart still felt like it was trying to beat its way out of her chest. "Why does Kayani think you know what's happening?" His gaze went to the floor. "What aren't you telling me?"
His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he ran a hand through his hair. "The 'why' part of it all is just a guess, but…." He lifted his eyes to meet hers. "This place is Mortis. I'm sure of it."
"Mortis? Like the Father, Daughter, and Son? A way point of the Force – that Mortis?"
He nodded.
Rey still didn't understand how being on Mortis was a bad thing, but if Ben was scared, then she should be as well. She joined him by adjusting the toggles next to the co-pilot's chair. "Try initiating the hyperdrive like we're about to jump to lightspeed," she said quickly. "That might jolt the ship back to life."
"That might blow the motivator and the fuel lines."
"You got a better idea?"
He didn't.
Rey worked at the side panel, Ben waiting for her to give him the signal. She adjusted the fuel nob before glancing in his direction, giving him a nod. He flipped the switch… and nothing. She pinched the bridge of her nose and Ben kicked at the control desk, a list of profanities falling from his lips.
The commotion eventually quieted, leaving Ben's labored breathing to permeate through the air. Rey glanced at Leia and Ransolm, Ben's loud antics having done nothing to wake them. That's when it dawned on her:
Someone was missing.
Her back straightened. "Where's Luke?"
Ben slid down to the floor, his broad frame squeezing between the two seats as his back lounged against the control board. "He went to the engine room when the alarms started going off."
"What are you doing?" Rey demanded, her frustration showing through her tone. "Get up."
"And do what?" Ben snapped at her. "How am I supposed to get us out of here?"
"Getting off your ass would be a good start."
Ben worked his jaw, his gaze going back down to his boots when he muttered, "I never thought this would actually happen…"
"Never thought what would happen? What are you even talking about?" Seeing that she was getting nowhere with him, Rey knelt down and rested one of her hands on his knee. "Ben, if you know what's going on you need to tell me, because I'm starting to panic over here."
He took in a deep breath. "I always thought Mortis was probably a myth, something the Jedi believed so the Force could make sense to them. But then you told me about the place where you killed Snoke, and how he tried to unleash a dark being into the Universe. And I knew… I knew Mortis was real. Abeloth was real. What Luke told me about what happened to Anakin here was real." Rey frowned, not knowing the story behind what he was saying about his grandfather. "The theories I have swirling in my head, I thought they stemmed from my paranoia. But –"
Ben clamped his mouth shut. He was done talking.
Rey shook her head. "You're not telling me everything."
"And I don't want to," he uttered.
"Why?"
His gaze beseeched her not to ask any further, the moisture in his eyes like a silent manipulation, eliciting her compassion. But Rey didn't feel like Ben was in a position to be pitied, especially since he refused to give her answers.
Footsteps came from the corridor and Rey whirled around, seeing a half dazed Luke stumble into the cockpit.
"Leia," he breathed as he wandered over to his sister. He grabbed her hand, and the touch of her twin seemed to have sparked her to stir. "What the hell happened?" Luke pointed the question to the two of them, but Rey bristled out of the cockpit before anyone could stop her.
If Ben was so hell-bent on not communicating with her, then she'll find the answers elsewhere.
Rey entered the mainhold to find Finn helping Chewie and Caliiya back to consciousness. "Caliiya, I need you to watch Jacen for me."
Caliiya was rubbing the back of her head, sitting on the grated floor when she looked up. "What's going on?"
Rey gave them a quick rundown of the situation, and then left the Falcon once Caliiya agreed to watch over her son.
Kayani was waiting close by, hands clasped behind her back as she eyed Rey's approach, her expression unreadable.
The high grass flattened under Rey's boots as she came to a stop within the parameter of the girl's personal space. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Rey seethed.
Kayani had to crane her head back now that Rey towered over her. "You give me way more credit than you should," she replied calmly. "I haven't done anything. The Force is what brought you here."
"Bantha shit. The Force has been done with us since we got rid of Snoke."
"You were given a small reprieve, yes, but destiny demands its due. I have no control over what's about to happen. And I…" Kayani hesitated, which was very unlike her. "Know that I am sorry for what is about to be asked of you. But the Force never would've chosen you if it didn't believe you were strong enough to endure everything put in your path."
"Kayani," Ben's voice called out as he quickly made his way over to them, the rest of the occupants of the ship in tow, sans Caliiya and Jacen. He stopped next to Rey, having more of a looming presence over the girl than Rey could ever accomplish. "Why are we here?"
Kayani glanced around at the newly formed crowd, taking a few steps back so she could properly look at everyone. While Kayani for the most part appeared composed, Rey noticed how her thumb kept picking at her pointer finger, like a nervous tick. "You've always felt like you've needed to finish what your grandfather started. Well… this is it."
"Ben's already doing that," Leia countered as she protectively moved closer to Ben.
"Being a ruler over a galaxy was never Anakin's, nor your son's, destiny. Mortis was."
Luke frowned. "Mortis was destroyed once the Father and his children died."
"Mortis can never truly be gone. It can break and weaken, but it will never disappear. This dimension is the heart of the Force, and the Force is eternal."
Rey's thoughts ran rampant as she tried to recall all that she knew about Mortis, which she had learned from Ben during that night on Chandrila. Ben hadn't gone into great detail, though, so Rey found her knowledge too inadequate to add anything to this conversation. But while she at least had a rudimentary understanding, Ransolm and Finn looked completely lost.
"Anakin was once brought here in hopes of taking up the mantle of the Father," Kayani explained, "balancing out his two children so neither the dark – the Son – , nor the light – the Daughter – could sway the other. That was the sole reason why the Force created Anakin in the first place. But he refused, and the Father and his children perished, leaving the Force without a conduit for balance. As you can see, Mortis has never been the same."
Luke narrowed his eyes. "So… you want Ben to do what Anakin couldn't? You want him to take the place of the Father? But there is no Daughter and Son for Ben to even control anymore."
"True, but the Force has ways of presenting other opportunities to correct said problem."
"You and Snoke," Ben muttered shakily.
Kayani nodded. "Yes, me and my brother. The Father had connections with his children because they were family. You have a bond with Snoke and I, albeit a little different, but you will be able to maintain the balance of the Force between us just fine."
"What exactly are you asking of my son?"
Rey could no longer feel her fingers and toes.
"That he stays here to become the conduit by which the Force can flow and thrive, and therefore restore its balance."
Rey wanted to cover her ears, shout at everyone to stop talking and to wake up from whatever nightmare she was stuck in. But she couldn't even get her body to cooperate. There was something inside her, calling out to let itself be known and spread throughout her soul. She brushed up against it, feeling warmth and truth and strength, recognizing it to be the Force.
She evaded it with difficulty. She had a suspicion of what it would tell her, and she didn't want to face it.
"You want him to give up everything… for the Force?" Leia said incredulously. "No. Absolutely not. There is no way in hell that will ever be happening."
Kayani squared off at her. "I don't think you quite understand the direness of the situation here. You've read how destructive the Sith Wars were. You know firsthand the cruelty of the Empire. If left unchecked, the Force will be tipped to one side and stay that way permanently. These wars and takeovers were only temporary compared to how long the Universe has been alive. Can you imagine a reign of darkness that lasts forever?"
"How do you know the dark side will prevail?" Leia argued.
"You really want to gamble the odds? How many times has the light side been falsely represented as virtuous, only to be proven as ignorant? How many civilizations have perished in the name of so called 'righteousness'? Both sides can be chaotic if there is no mediation between the two."
Leia started to speak, but Ben interrupted. "The Force isn't the only reason you need me, is it?"
"No. With the last inhabitants gone, Abeloth's prison has been waning. And with my brother trying to get her out the last time he was here, the timetable for when she can be freed has quickened."
Finn furrowed his eyebrows. "Abeloth who now?"
Kayani sighed, no doubt her patience running thin. "She was once a mortal woman who became trapped in this realm a long time ago. The time she spent here allowed her to fall in love with the Father, and in turn, she became the family's surrogate mother. But as she aged, they didn't. In her desperation to become immortal, she drank and bathed in the ethereal wells that are hidden in this plane. But it drove her insane while simultaneously granting her immense power. In the end, many died in the effort to imprison her here. But if she were to ever get loose, her power would be enough to destroy the whole Universe."
As if smoke parting from a tumultuous battle, Rey started to see the whole scene laid out to her in clarity. She had thought the battle won and the war over, but there was one obstacle still standing, not allowing her a complete victory.
This couldn't be happening. They should've been to Coruscant by now, with Ben, Ransolm, and Finn being held up in meetings while Leia and Luke took Rey and Jacen on a tour of the planet.
Absurd. This was absurd. Rey was panicking. She was angry. Was she misreading what was happening? No… no she wasn't. But, there was no way. None. Impossible, this was all occurring too quickly.
"Against my better judgment and from what everyone told me, I trusted you," Rey bristled with barely contained anger. "But you've been manipulating everything since the beginning so you could what? Take Ben away from us?" Away from me.
Kayani watched Rey carefully. "I helped you save Ben–"
"So you can use him."
Kayani had the audacity to look at her with sympathy. "I swear to you, I didn't know the Force's intentions until after you brought Ben back from the dead and created the connection between us."
"And you still didn't say anything?" Rey chided, about to snap.
"Because you wouldn't have helped me stop my brother if you knew the whole truth."
Rey's rage overflowed as she went for the girl. "You're fucking right I wouldn't have helped you!"
Ben held her back with a firm grip on her upper arm. He didn't say anything to her; there was no appeal for her to calm down. He just held onto her, grip loosening once he saw that she wasn't about to throttle Kayani to the ground.
How Ben was still showing some degree of decorum was beyond Rey. Honestly, it was making her uneasy. Why wasn't he upset? Or yelling? Where did all his anger from earlier go?
In a controlled voice, Ben asked, "Can I refuse?"
"Of course you can. You still have your agency."
He was all business, like he was in the process of negotiating a trade deal. Calculating. "What would happen if I chose not to stay?"
Rey snapped her incredulous attention back to him. He wouldn't meet her stare.
"The Force will become more chaotic, while at the same time trying to find other means of equalizing. But the thing is, this can only be done through your bloodline."
This news was unnerving to Ben. "So the responsibility would go to my son?"
Someone in the group gasped. Rey knew that it was probably her, but she was too detached from her body to tell at this point .
"Yes."
"And Ben has to make this decision today?" Finn asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
Kayani didn't even glance at Finn, but answered the question as if Ben had asked it. "I tried giving you as much time as I could, but the Force demands balance sooner rather than later. The longer this imbalance goes on, the trickier it will be to reverse it. And the problem with Abeloth–"
Finn cut her off. "You can't just create another Anakin or something?"
Kayani didn't appreciate the interruption. She glared at Finn. "There are rules when it comes to creation. The Force was only able to bring Anakin into existence as a one time deal, because both the light and dark allowed it."
Ben walked a few feet away from the group, all eyes following him. Rey peered at his back, watching as his torso expanded with every breath he took. Faintly, she could sense the emotional turmoil rippling off of him as he observed the fields of flowers and grass.
"What about Rey?" he inquired without turning around.
Kayani clasped her hands behind her back. "The Force would be willing to let her stay here with you, but there is the matter of your son." Ben whirled around, a muscle in his jaw twitching at the mention of Jacen. "Everyone who stays has to be celestialized, which would not allow the person to age. So unless you want your son to never mature into an adult…."
"I'm not staying here without my family," Ben stated darkly.
For the first time, Kayani's voice took on the tone of desperation. "What if Rey could come back to you once her mortal life has ended? She'd be the same as you, be granted a body so you can touch her and be with her. This way, your son can grow up and have a life… and his mother."
Rey nearly fainted.
Ben gave her a fleeting glance before averting his eyes to the ground. He was chewing incessantly at his cheek, an act he did when in serious contemplation.
As much as Rey wanted to voice her dissent, she couldn't. Where once her blood was cold, it was now warm and heartening, the catacombs behind her heart that housed her fears and unpleasant memories were filling with a light that whisked away the cobwebs and the ghosts.
Still, Rey fought against the comfort.
Ben cleared his throat, appearing unsure. "What will happen to everyone else?"
Leia stepped forward. "Ben, you can't –" He held up his hand, and she fell back into silence.
"If they can hold onto their consciousness and not meld into the Force, then their spirit can come and go in this place as they please."
"I need some time alone to think it over."
Kayani nodded and then faded away. Her departure brought on a storm of voices as everyone started talking at once, demanding to be heard. But through it all, Ben and Rey remained quiet as they stared at one another, ignoring the hoard of voices.
No longer able to hold back what the Force wanted to tell her, it barreled right through the barrier around her heart.
It came in waves when Rey least desired it – a blaring truth that washed over her and demanded validity. Love did not outweigh sacrifice, and desire could not negate duty.
Her heart started to thud against her ribs and moisture formed in her eyes. If only she could shut off her feelings and sever her connection with the Force, then she would be able to remain ignorant to the verity of the path Ben had been on since the moment he was born.
The fact that she got to be in his life, even for a short duration, had been a blessing. Ben never truly belonged to her; he belonged to the Force.
And now Rey's greatest test was upon her, the one Obi-Wan had warned her about.
She had to let Ben go. The fate of all existence depended on it.
This isn't how I wanted our life to go, she thought, still fighting to hold on.
But the Force held her in the confines of its tranquility, gently prying her grasp away from the fear and greediness that tempted her, and whispered:
But this is how it is.
()()()()()
While the others were talking amongst themselves, tossing about papery thin options and questions without answers, Ben remained still, holding Rey's gaze through the erupting cloud of everyone's panic. Caliiya was now standing among them and holding Jacen, Ransolm having gone back to the Falcon to get her. From the lack of confusion on her face, Casterfo must have filled her in on current events.
Ben's face contorted in a mix of rage and sorrow and fear. "Rey…" he projected his voice into her mind. "What should I do? Tell me what to do?"
Rey's emotions were changing so quickly that Ben was having a hard time trying to discern her opinion on the matter. "What do you feel like you should do?"
"I don't know."
Rey cocked her head, giving him a knowing, but sad look. "I think you do."
It wasn't until this moment that Ben felt his contented little universe tilt and go sliding away, for he knew what he had to do. He always knew it, had fought against the rightness and truth of Kayani's words as they barreled into his ears. The sole purpose of his lineage's existence was to bring about balance; they could never escape this destiny.
He had lived his life misinterpreting what that destiny encompassed, until now.
Still, he shook his head. "I could forsake all of this. And I would, for you." He could sense how much Rey wanted him to, how much she was about to beg him to leave with her.
But then an image of their son transferred from her mind to his, her thoughts now switching over to that of a concerned parent. "What about Jacen?" she asked. Ben stole a quick glance at him content in Caliiya's arms. "Can we live knowing that what's being asked of you will one day be asked of him?"
They both knew they couldn't.
His love for his son was different than the love he held for Rey. Both compelled him to be protective, both propelled him to do whatever it took to keep them safe. But if faced with protecting one over the other… he would choose their son. Every time.
Such powerful conviction felt like a betrayal.
"It's not," Rey thought quickly, sensing where his mind had gone. "Don't feel guilty, because I'd choose Jacen, too. That's what parents should do; protect their children. That's what my parents did for me."
"To spare him from such fate, I have to give up having a life with you."
Rey wiped at her eyes quickly, but a stray tear still made it's way down her neck. "I don't want you to do this either, Ben. I don't want to share you with this place. I don't want you to leave me, and I wish I didn't have the Force because as much as I want to deny it… all I can feel is how this was always meant to be."
"You can feel it, too?"
Rey nodded, her jaw tightening as she fought to keep control of her demeanor.
"I wish I'd never been born into this family," Ben thought.
Rey made a sad smile. "Then we never would've met, and I would still be waiting on Jakku for a family that was never going to come back for me."
He held her gaze for a few more heartbeats before he raised his hand and catching everyone's attention. They fell silent, looking at him expectantly. "I'm going to do it."
"No!" Leia screamed, grappling at Ben's shirt. "No… Ben, please–"
"I can't let this curse fall upon my son."
"But… you're my son," she countered. "Who am I if I can't protect you?"
He looked at his mother's face in detail. Never had she looked so vulnerable, so close to the edge of breaking. "Just because you can't protect me from this, doesn't make you any less my mother," he said to her in earnest. He held her hands and peeled them away from his tunic. His thumbs brushed across her knuckles. "I'm so sorry, but this is my decision."
As if she'd been eavesdropping the whole time, Kayani showed herself. "And?"
"I'll stay," Ben's deep timbre answered evenly, though he was experiencing a torrential amount of anxiety. His heart was already under so much pressure that hearing his mother give out a small but precise cry almost broke it. "How will I go through the process of…." His words died as his eyes traveled off to the side.
The rest of them followed his gaze.
With a wave of Kayani's hand, a vortex started to form in the air. The swirling shadows stretched and widened till it was large enough that even the Falcon could enter it with ease. Once the tear in time and space settled, it showed the insides of a dim and musky grotto. Covering a part of the floor was a pool of water, dark and offering no visibility into its depths. Next to the water was a small fountain of white marble, the liquid encased in the bowl just as black and foreboding as its predecessor.
The collection of water on the ground was known as the Pool of Knowledge, offering all who bathed in it the ability to view both the past and the future. The fountain was its opposite. Formally called the Font of Power, it assembled its energy from the dark side, granting those who drank from it unlimited capabilities.
Ben felt worried eyes following him as he walked up to the fountain first, the atmosphere becoming cold and humid. With trembling hands, he scooped up the warm water and brought it to his lips. When he swallowed, the effect was instantaneous.
The power he was bestowed went far beyond the constraints of mortality, his will now free from the bounds of how far his imagination could stretch. All was within his reach, the Universe now just a glance away. It was like he swallowed a bomb and absorbed its explosion, that energy becoming one with his cells and mind.
This power was what he once always craved.
Once.
While the boundless strength scratched that hint of an itch he still had, he found that he wasn't consumed by the need for domination. He could keep his greed at bay, something that those who'd came before him and drank from the font were unable to do. It had ruined them, but not him.
Ben hadn't realized that his eyes were scrunched shut and his hands had been gripping the fountain so hard, it was a miracle none of the marble had chipped off. He steadied his breathing, his knuckles cracking as he loosened his hands.
He didn't look back to those who were watching him as he made his way over to the pool of water; he didn't want to see their reactions for fear that he wouldn't be able to finish what he'd started.
Which was why he kept himself closed off from Rey during the process.
Standing at the rim and gazing down, the water was like one huge puddle, offering no visible steps in which to ease into it. So Ben took a step forward and plunged right in.
The sensation didn't feel like water at all, but rather similar to being suspended in a warm pocket of air in the darkness of night. But he didn't have a lot of time to bask in the sensation, for his physical and spiritual changes were happening just as quick as when he'd drank from the fountain.
Regeneration and decay were an endless cycle, and Ben was no exception. He could feel his body collapsing, crumbling, dying, but his death was not an ending. For a star to be born, there was one thing that must happen first: a gaseous nebula must collapse. What was happening to him was not part of his destruction, but rather, part of his rebirth.
He was being refined into something endless and constant, something steeled with awareness and melded together with understanding and intelligence.
Everything that had been or would be could be traced back to the stars, each atom connected to a speck of stardust. And it all rounded back to the Celestials, the ones who had set off creation not just in this galaxy, but also in the Universe as a whole. Ben was not just connecting and overseeing the part of space he called his home, but every living entity in existence. It was all so vast, that even his exalted mind had a hard time taking it all in.
Through it all, the organization was all Ben thought it would be, and more
And knowledge was no longer out of his reach.
He could see within the Universe in the twinkling of an eye, and continue onward, with no constraints holding him back. Time was a dimension to allow beings to perceive space, but without that boundary, Ben could journey through all eternity. Could he find the generation where the Celestials came to be? Could he venture to the beginning and find where space no longer extended?
The answers would have to be left for another time.
When he opened his eyes, he was standing back in the musky cave, as dry as if he'd been standing under a desert sun. His form was still the same, all the scars he'd acquired throughout his life still there. He could've gotten rid of them during the transformation, but he opted not to. Even though he took upon this mantle of responsibility, there was always an underlying fear that he would forget the journey that made him who he was, and in turn, regress to who he used to be.
The only thing that was different was the diffused glow that emanated from his skin, evidenced by his celestialization.
The dimensional rip started to collapse, leaving him back where he began. He basked at his surroundings. The change he undergone had also brought on the transformation of Mortis.
The terrain held high peaks of mountains and the deep dips of valleys, and Ben took in the life that now thrived among the forest – the incorporeal animals and their glowing outlines forming into those of doe's, foxes, chikarris and squirrels; the energy that flowed through this dimension; the tunnels of water that flowed deep within the soil; the breeze that danced and played and pushed through the greenery.
Off in the distance, too far to be seen but potent enough to be felt, was a concentration of darkness likened unto a black hole, the edges rotting with death where the preternatural life force met the vitality of vegetation and wildlife. Threaded among the shadow, Ben could feel his former master. Reaching out with his mind, Snoke was alerted to the unwelcome scrutiny and slithered deeper into the abyss in hopes of concealment. But there was nowhere for Snoke to hide, and Ben's dominance over him made Snoke wail and tremble, begging the new ruler of this world to look elsewhere.
Ben muted the connection and sighed in relief. He no longer feared his tormentor, who was now just a sliver of the monster he was before.
He turned his attention to those who awaited him. They were gawking at the change in scenery, and in him.
"You survived, just as the Force knew you would." Kayani said softly at his side. She glanced between him and his family. "I'll give you time to say your goodbyes."
There were a few heartbeats of silence before Rey rushed forward and launched herself into Ben's arms, the connection between them flowing freely once again. He could feel her shaking as she tried to hold herself together, but some of her cries broke through her tight lips.
Ben rubbed her back. He wished he could soothe her through the bond, but his emotions were just as turbulent as hers.
"I don't know if I can do this," she whispered fiercely.
Hearing her say that made his chest ache. "There's no turning back now."
She burrowed deeper into his neck.
"Rey." Her name on his lips drew her back, their eyes meeting. Lightly, he trailed his fingers from the back of her ear and down the curve of her jaw. "I want to save our parting for last… if that's alright with you."
Her grip on his arms tightened. "I'm not strong enough to say goodbye. I can't do it, Ben."
"But it won't be a goodbye. We'll see each other again through the bond. I'll be with you for the rest of your life."
Hope entered her hazel eyes. "You think our connection can stretch that far?"
"I know it can."
Ben had come to accept a lot of trials and circumstances throughout his existence. How he was raised and manipulated, the way Rey had come into his life, the sorrow and despair they had shared together. Hell, remaining on Mortis was just another thing he had to endure. What he would not accept was Rey's loneliness as a consequence of him aiding the Force in its time of need.
Rey would see him again, because Ben would will it so.
With reluctance, they parted. Rey made quick work of wiping away her tears before going over to Caliiya and taking Jacen into her arms. She put some distance between her and everyone else, all the while keeping her sight down upon their son.
To Finn he said, "I was wanting to talk to you first, if that's alright?"
Finn hadn't been expecting to be singled out. "Uh, sure."
They walked a few meters away from the others, and he could tell it was killing his mother to have his time be occupied with someone other than her.
Ben put his focus back on Finn. What he was about to do next would take all of his concentration to achieve, and he couldn't do it while thinking about having to say goodbye to his family.
Finn shifted his weight from one leg to the other. Ben rubbed the back of his neck, not knowing where to begin. "So… I probably should give you a fair warning that this is probably going to feel strange at first, but it's something I need to do. For you, and for me. It's just, I haven't had the power to do it before."
"Need to do what?" Finn questioned, not following.
Ben was riddled with nerves, but it was now or never to make up for his mistakes. Before Finn could react, Ben pulled the man into a tight embrace, closed his eyes, and followed a path to reclamation.
()()()()()
Finn wasn't sure what was happening.
One moment he was bracing himself to say goodbye to Kylo Ren, and the next, he was being choked into a hug he hadn't been expecting. Maybe the guy was more emotional than Finn thought he would be, therefore making Finn unprepared for such a display? Or maybe going through that weird transformational ritual had caused Ren to lose it? Finn didn't know. All he knew was that Ren giving him a hug was a whole new level of awkward he didn't know how to handle.
Just as Finn was about to pull away, warmth and light pulsated around him, his breathing becoming shallow from some unforeseen energy entering his body. His blood became hot, like feverish hot, maybe even close to boiling. Sweat riddled his brow as his eyes sealed shut, his mind getting close to turning off in order to spare him from what he was experiencing.
Then the arms that had been holding him up let go, and Finn's knees hit the ground. Caliiya was kneeling beside him, calling out his name, her hands gripping his arms. His fingers dug into the grass as he evened out his breathing, unable to form his thoughts into words.
What had Ren done to him?
As if the universe heard his question, the metal spinal implant that was permanently embedded into his back slid out from underneath his shirt and fell to the floor. He gazed at it as Caliiya picked it up, holding it between them.
Did Solo…. Did he just….
"Solo?" Ren said amusingly, obviously picking up on his thoughts. "How about you just call me Ben from now on." He chuckled and added under his breath, "Solo. Makes me feel older than I am."
At that moment, something in Finn broke and a sob escaped his throat. He attempted to stand, but stumbled. He noticed that even his shoulder, the one that Ren's – Ben's – crossguard had sunk into so long ago was now completely mended.
"Whoa. You're okay," Ben said as he grabbed ahold of his arm, him and Caliiya helping him to balance. "Just take it easy for a moment. I'm afraid I was a little too aggressive with healing you."
Finn looked at Ben with awe. "I…. You healed me?"
"As I should, since I'm the one who caused your physical predicament."
"But still, you healed me." There was a long silence as Finn tried to wrap his mind around what Ben had done for him. He worked at his shoulder, twisted his torso back and forth. The pain was gone. "I'm not sure what to say."
Caliiya backed away, watching the two men as they spoke to one another.
"You don't have to say anything," Ben said sheepishly. "I know working with me hasn't been easy–"
"No… but it's been worth it. And I… I'm not sure how it's going to be not having you around, giving me orders." Finn waited for Ben to say something, but he didn't, so he kept going. "Losing Poe was hard. And now you… I feel like even though we started off on opposite sides, you and I have been there from the beginning."
Ben nodded that he understood. "I'm sorry for the things I've done to you."
"I'd say you more than made up for it."
"It doesn't feel that way to me."
Finn rubbed his lips together, lowering his voice. "I know you carry a lot guilt over the things you've done, but I want you to know that I forgive you for everything you did to me. And you should forgive yourself."
"Maybe. Someday."
One of those weird spirit fox things ran between them and stopped, glancing at them both. It eyed Finn longer than necessary before scurrying away, out of sight behind a cluster of rocks. Finn had seen some strange things while training to be a trooper, but this place was just down right eerie.
"Do you…" Ben paused, as if second-guessing himself. But then he inhaled and kept on going. "Do you remember that village on Jakku? When you were unable to fire your weapon?" Finn furrowed his brows before giving a tight nod. "I could sense why you couldn't go through with it."
Finn cocked his head. "Really?"
"You didn't want to hurt those you believed were innocent. You had such a clear perspective of right and wrong, even though you'd only ever been a stormtrooper," Ben said with a hint of esteem. "It surprised me, actually. From that I knew it was only a matter of time before you did something more egregious than refusing to follow an order."
"Then why did you just walk away? Why didn't you tell someone about me?"
Ben chewed at the inside of his cheek, looking to the ground, brows pulling together. "At the time, I told myself that you were Hux's problem. If you continued to be rebellious, it would prove to Hux that his precious program was flawed. Maybe Snoke would then consider using a clone army instead. But… the thing is…" Ben glanced up, serious. "I envied you."
Finn's mind went blank upon hearing that admission.
Ben continued. "You wanted to get out of the First Order, and so did I. I denied how I felt for so long, digging myself into a deeper grave with Snoke. I just… I couldn't get out. I didn't know what to do or where to even begin when it came to leaving. I had nowhere to go, no one to fall back on. It wasn't till I almost killed Rey that I realized I just couldn't live my life like that anymore. And fortunately, she offered to help me. I took advantage of the opportunity of being far from the First Order and left Ahch-To with her, but you… you were brave enough to dessert from the Finalizer. You did something I couldn't, and your example made me feel weak. I admired you, and I hated myself for it. What you did – helping my mother and fighting against the First Order– is what I should've done."
Finn's ability to speak stalled for what could've been decades, but was realistically seconds. "Uh… Well…" he flustered. "Wow. I… I really had no idea you felt this way."
Ben shrugged. "I didn't want you to."
Finn scrubbed at his skull trim, feeling overwhelmed. "So how you treated me had nothing to do with Rey?"
"Oh, it did," Ben said, a hint of smile on his lips. "I didn't like how dependent she was on you, and your relationship seemed too close to be just friends."
"There it is," Finn said with a chuckle. "Jealousy is definitely something I can understand coming from you." They both broke into laughter before dying down. Finn regarded Ren steadily once the lightheartedness passed. "Thanks for telling me about the other stuff, though. You got any idea about who will fill your position?"
Ben relayed what he had in mind when it came to galactic leadership, and Finn agreed that it was a solid plan.
"You're going to be a great general, Finn," Ben admonished, looking relaxed at giving him praise.
The smile that appeared along Finn's lips was tight as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "Without you, I'm not so sure."
"You'll have me to help you," Caliiya stated as she closed in on the two men, thinking that she'd given them a sufficient amount of time alone.
"And you should listen to her," Ben said, tone becoming tender. "She's more clever and strategic than she lets on. And the best personal aid in the whole galaxy."
"Galaxy? Try the Universe," she quipped. But the atmosphere wasn't the kind where playful jabs could be thrown forever. Caliiya picked at her sleeve, having a difficult time holding Ben's gaze. "I've, uh, never thanked you for not actually killing me all those times you threatened you would."
Ben's chuckle was in the form of a puff of air coming out of his nose. "I never would have, you know."
"I know. But I wasn't the best person when we first met."
"Neither was I."
Caliiya glanced down at her feet. "I know the timing of this is horrendous, but I thought you should know that Birren has filed all the necessary documentation to now be recognized as New Alderaan. I was going to have you sign the Planetary Organization of Claims when we got to Coruscant, but–"
"You have the datafile with you now?"
Her eyes snapped up to his. "I think so." She checked her pockets, bringing out a compact datapad and handing it over to him. "But ever since we came here, it won't power on–"
The screen came to life at his touch. Caliiya fell silent as Ben skimmed to the bottom of the file, using the tip of his finger to exact his signature and code of approval. "There." He gave her back the datapad. "For my last act as Supreme Ruler, New Alderaan is now officially a planet accepted into the Galactic Order."
"Which makes you the Prince and Regent Ruler of the planet," she added on quickly, then cleared her throat. "But I guess that doesn't matter anymore."
"Not for me, no." With him gone, temporary leadership would fall upon the planet's governor until his son came of age and decided if he wanted the title or not. "And if you could," he added, "can you tell BB-8… that when I needed it, I did appreciate his company. He was a good droid." Caliiya nodded and wiped at a rogue tear that had escaped her traitorous eyes. Finn wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her close, trying to support them both.
BB-8 had stayed behind to help Threepio overlook a new commission of droids to work among the Star Destroyers. Like the rest of them, they all thought Ben would be returning. Losing Poe and now losing Ben, Finn was nervous to tell BB-8 the news of what had happened. But the droid was a strong and fierce little thing, and would no doubt bounce back from this loss.
It's not like any of them had a choice.
The three of them stood there, knowing they had come upon the time to impart farewells, but no one really knowing what to say.
Caliiya stepped up to Ben and hugged him. He patted her back before letting her go. "I'm going to miss you."
"I'm going to miss you, too." He stuck his hand out to Finn, clasping onto the firm grip. "The both of you."
Finn's throat closed up. All he could do was nod and try to breathe.
Finn and Caliiya left Ben where he stood, putting enough distance between them so Ben could have some privacy with his family. They watched as Leia hurried up to her son, with Luke, Chewie, and Ransolm following close behind.
"I know you'll need help keeping the Galactic Order in check and all, but we really need to be there for Rey," Caliiya said to Finn as they watched Ben talking with the others. "I think I should stay with her for a little while and help with Jacen and whatever else she needs. I can't imagine what she must be feeling –" She went quiet as she caught Finn staring at her. "What?"
"I love you," he said to her. Finn didn't know what love was made of exactly, or if it could be quantified into a physical representation. But if it could, he figured it would be the color of Caliiya's soft amber eyes. "Marry me?"
He'd been expecting her to look surprised by his proposal, but she wasn't. Putting her palm to his cheek, she said, "Oh, Finn, we're already engaged."
Finn's mouth flopped open. "We are? Since when?"
"Since I gave you that ring."
He brought his hand into view, glancing at the black band she had given him months ago. "But you told me to wear it on my right hand."
She held his hand between her own, thumbing at the ring. "Where I come from, you wear the engagement ring on the right, then switch it over to the left once you're married. The one you have was my father's. It's the only thing I kept when I had to sell everything after he died."
Finn brushed an errant strand of hair behind her ear, his thumb brushing along her skin. Some might have been annoyed if their partner had kept secrets from them, but Finn knew this was how Caliiya operated: five steps ahead of everyone else. Besides, the surprises she gave him were always good ones. "And when were you going to inform me of our engagement?"
She gave him a sly grin. "After we were married."
"What? You were gonna sneak that in, too?"
"Of course I was. This is me you're talking to."
Finn cupped her cheek and kissed her lightly, running his thumb across her lips as he pulled back. He glanced past her when he saw movement. Rey was rocking Jacen back and forth in her arms.
His eyes stung as he watched her, and he felt guilty for how perfect he had felt… if only just for a few moments. More than likely, Rey was going to remember this as the worst day of her life, and he had the audacity to actually be happy for a solid minute.
Caliiya turned, realizing whom he was staring at. "We'll take care of her first, then we worry about us."
Finn nodded as his sorrow multiplied.
()()()()()
Leia rushed forward, tripping over her steps as she launched herself into Ben's arms.
No one said anything for the longest time, unsure of what Leia would do if they tried to break her away from him. But eventually she pulled back, her head hanging low in an attempt to hide her face.
"What will happen to the Galactic Order now that you're gone?" Ransolm asked, cutting through the silence.
Ben sighed, taking his eyes off his mother. "That's up to you. I put your name down as my successor in case anything happened to me before my son came of age."
This was clearly news to everyone.
Ransolm blanched. "You… what?"
"You're the Supreme Ruler," Ben said slowly since Ransolm appeared thoroughly confused.
"But… what if I don't want to be the leader of an Empire?"
"Then make it into something else. I chose you because the planetary systems respect you, way more than they ever respected me. Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure they'll follow."
"But, you hate me."
"I just made you the most powerful man in the galaxy and you think this is the time to bring up past animosities?"
"But–"
"Casterfo," Leia nearly hissed. "Just take the damn job."
Ransolm winced, but regained his composure quickly.
The two men talked a little more, going over the logistics of passing over the title of Supreme Ruler. Ransolm was shaken by the responsibility, but he didn't outright refuse to do it, which Ben took as him agreeing.
When all was said and done, Ransolm gave him a slanted grin and a mock solute before stepping off to the side.
Ben gulped, his eyes going back to his mother. "Mom, I need you to promise me that you'll help Rey and Jacen."
Leia looked affronted by the insinuation that she wouldn't. "Of course I will."
"And I don't mean just looking in on them from time to time while you go gallivanting across the galaxy, being a politician or whatev–"
"I won't," she cut him off indignantly. Leia saw the skepticism in Ben's expression and wilted. "All the governmental things will be handled by Ransolm. The rest of my life will be devoted to helping raise my grandson. I won't fail him like I failed you. I swear it."
"And Rey–"
"Will want for nothing." Leia motioned to Luke. "We're her family, and we'll take care of her."
Ben's doubt abated from seeing his mother's sincerity. Taking a deep breath, he looked to his uncle and said, "You have to teach her how to keep ahold of her consciousness after she dies." He pegged Leia with a significant stare. "You need to learn how to do that because… I want to see you again. I want you to be here with me."
"I'll make sure she's ready for that transition," Luke promised, putting a hand on Leia's shoulder.
Ben continued entreating his uncle. "And I know you and Rey decided that you shouldn't accompany her while she searched for students, but honestly, that was a horrible decision. She needs your help. Don't let her give up on her dreams. Without me around, it should be easier for her to find at least a few people who'll want to learn the ways of the Force."
"I'll be more proactive with her, I promise. But what should we tell the galaxy about your sudden disappearance?"
"Whatever you want. It can be the truth, or you can tell everyone that I was assassinated on the way to Coruscant. It's up to you."
"The truth," Leia said in that end-all tone that left no room for argument. "We should go with the truth. The galaxy should know what you're sacrificing for them."
Luke briefly closed his eyes and sighed. "Some might not believe it. They'll probably think we're covering up his death or something."
"Then let them." She looked up at her brother and fiercely whispered, "I don't want to lie. Not about this."
After a few tense seconds, Luke relented and agreed to go with the truth.
Leia looked to Ben, who met her forlorn stare with trepidation. "I refuse to say goodbye," her voice quaked. "But given my old age, I think an 'I'll see you soon' is more fitting."
"I don't want it to be too soon, though."
"It won't be. I need to have some time being a grandma."
She put a hand up to his cheek, covering the scar that stretched over his skin. "I love you. So much. Never forget that. And always remember that your father and I will always be proud of you."
Ben swallowed, hard. "I… I wouldn't be here without him."
Leia wrapped her arms around his midsection, resting her temple against his chest and melting into his tall frame like she was the child. "He wanted you to come home, and you did."
He returned the gesture by holding her against him. Sensing that she wasn't ready to let him go quite yet, he looked to Luke and then to Chewie, whose presence had been unexpectedly silent. "Take care of them for me," he entreated.
It was so very hard to relinquish all the control he had over protecting his family, but the trust he once had with his uncle had started to reemerge over the last year, probably preparing him for this exact moment. And Chewie… well, Ben's trust in Chewie had never wavered. Not even during his darkest times.
Luke came closer, his voice breaking as he said, "We will." Chewie undulated his agreement.
Ben nodded, rubbing small circles into his mother's back as he felt her anxiety spike. He glanced down at the crown of her hair and whispered to Luke, "I'm sorry I couldn't be the man you always wanted me to be."
"But you are," Luke said passionately, his sternness causing Ben to lift his gaze. "I always thought you were destined for something greater than where your life had led you. Even more than being a Jedi. Obi-Wan and my father would insinuate as much, but they never got into specifics. And no matter how much I asked them to elaborate, they would tell me they couldn't." Luke wiped at his hair, taming it against a swirl of air. His hand drifted to his chin, rubbing at his beard. He hesitated on what to say next, as if contemplating his words carefully. "Ben… I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it all earlier –"
"It wouldn't have changed anything," Ben cut him off. Luke gave him an unconvinced look. "Honest. If anything, it would've added more pressure and I probably would've broken down sooner. I don't blame you for keeping it from me. Really, I don't."
Luke blinked away his surprise. "That's… mature of you. I guess you really have grown up."
"Maybe. Or I've realized that some things are just not worth being offended over."
Ben went on to ask Luke to convey messages to those he couldn't say goodbye to in person: Lizari, Garreaus, Terr, Bre… Harter. Introspectively, he didn't have many people in his life. Not many would mourn for him. Most would be glad of his absence. Some judgments he just couldn't change, and he'd come to accept that.
Still, though, it hurt to think that he wouldn't be in a position to inherit what was left of Harter's clinic, even if it was mostly just the name and assets. She'd have to find another recipient, or just let her business go all together. But really, what was he going to do once he had it? Get his medical degree and be a physician on the side while being the Supreme Commander of the galaxy? At best, it was a fantasy that he would indulge in his head. At worst, he was naïve and stupid for thinking for a second it was actually possible.
But, oh…
What a dream it would've been.
Luke clasped onto Ben's arm, giving it a squeeze. "See you around, kid."
Ben didn't shy away from the sentiment, not like he used to. "I hope so." And truly, he meant it.
Chewie stomped forward and roared his goodbyes, the fact that Leia was in the way of giving Ben a hug not deterring him in the slightest. With his large Wookie frame, he enveloped Ben in his arms, squishing Leia between them. Chewie ruffled Ben's hair and gave him a pat on the head, like he always did when he was a kid.
It took some coaxing to detach Leia from her son, Luke having to hold onto her arms to draw her away.
Ben held his mother's stare as she backed away slowly, neither of them speaking, just feeling.
There was a part of her soul in his heart, and her heart was forever his. It was a sacred thing, to be connected to the one who created him. Leia would walk through the gates of hell if it meant she could keep him safe, honored by the chance to do so. In the end, she helped create a person capable of recovering where before there was only decay inside.
His mother reminded him what it felt like to be a son.
And from becoming a parent himself, he came to understand just how hard it was to balance duty with family. Was Leia a perfect mother? No. She hadn't been when he was younger, and she had her faults now.
But Ben had come to realize that perfection was overrated, and his standards unrealistic. Instead, he got what he needed, and that was to be the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo.